If Stranger Things Had Followed E.T. More Closely, Dr. Brenner And Joyce Would Have Ended Up Together

If Stranger Things had followed E.T. more closely, Dr. Brenner and Joyce would have ended up together at the end while Jonathan and Will watch Eleven turning into a rainbow lightning bolt to go back to her home dimension or some ish.

Yes! I was wondering what in the hell Stranger Things had to do with Warhol until I found out it was a Burger King commercial where they completely missed the point of the video.

Anyone besides my dumbass think that the Andy Warhol Burger King commercial was going to lead into the trailer for Stranger Things 3?!?

Honestly the Duffers should have just kept Brenner dead. I'm disappointed that they aimed super low that there isn't more to the character to make him interesting. I wish he had Firestarter powers or he had some sort of mental manipulation power. Nope he's just Diet Coke of evil.

Oh gee let me guess he does final battle with everyone as the Mindflayer instead of having awesome powers himself. *Snore* fucking boring.

Suspicious Minds missed the part where Dr. Brenner jets to European countries and snorts coke off of womens' legs at parties.

I just realized what element is missing from Suspicious Minds: Any sort of humor at all. Stranger Things actually has a lot of levity but this book seems to be taking itself a little too serious.

I'm not going to place any blame on the author because I feel like a lot of this book's problems are blamed squarely on Netflix and their tight restrictions.

Never mind I can't math well.