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. ˚◞♡  →  pretty lady, w. rojas

one shot trial one !

warren rojas | 4.5k 

just a fluffy warren one shot <3 awkward confession time, sweet kisses :-)

*not edited, forgive me for bad writing 🫶

warnings: the reader’s nicknames that are given are predominantly female – girl, lady, woman + no use of reader having particular features – skin colour, hair type, body type, etc | mainly sfw – though much kissing at the end !, use of nicknames (darling, hun, pretty girl/lady, sweets, etc), mature language

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The Feral One • Ch 29

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

Ok one more chapter after this one then the epilogue! I still haven’t written the epilogue but as soon as I do the series will be published.

Content Warnings - Descriptions of killing

Finnick left for 4 after the doctors had gotten your seizures under control and you’d commenced the rest of your treatment plan. They explained that they were most likely a permanent side effect of the capital’s experiment but you could help lessen their occurrence using a medication. You were hesitant to take any medication from the capital, but both Finnick and Beetee assured you it was safe.

All of the victors went back to their districts except for you, Johanna, and Peeta. It seems like the three of you were trapped in the capital all over again. You did have some freedoms, such as the ability to go outside and the ability to socialize freely, but it still felt like a prison.

Dr. Aurelius noticed how you were regressing in the capital and recommended the doctors release you early back to 4 where you could continue to meet with him over the phone. They were hesitant to agree but you promised to come back if your health worsened.

At the news of your release, Finnick hopped on the first train back to the capital. His project wasn’t 100% finished but he was glad you were coming home.

“Finn!” you squeal as he enters your room. Your stuff was already packed and ready to go with you to 4 in the morning.

He pulls you into a tight hug, inhaling the smell of your freshly washed hair.

“Hey love,” he smiles. “Are you ready to go home tomorrow?”

“Yes!” you reply, staring into those deep blue-green eyes you had missed for weeks.

You allow him to sleep alongside you that night, knowing that he is a safe person.

He’s your safe person, and you’re his home.

The next morning, Finnick loads your stuff onto the train and you both head back to 4. Mags and Annie were already there waiting for you.

The two of you spend the train ride curled up together on the couch, watching the scenery pass by in silence.

When you arrive in District 4, your whole world seems brighter. Paylor had pardoned you of the crimes the capital had charged you with, meaning you were no longer confined to your house. You were free.

Finnick grabs your bags and starts to pull you along down an unfamiliar road.

“Finn, where are we going?” you ask him.

“It’s a surprise,” he responds, smiling at you.

After a long walk, Finnick finally reveals the surprise.

Finnick had spent his few weeks back in 4 moving all of your things to a new house in the north of the district, along with Mags’ and Annie’s things into a house next door.

You stared in awe at the beautiful garden that wraps around the house, as well as the cobble stone path leading down to the beach.

“It’s perfect,” you grin, pulling him into a hug. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you, love.”

Your first few days home were a breath of fresh air. You went on morning walks with Finnick to help increase your strength and would finish your days laying on the beach with him, watching the last of the sunset over the horizon.

“Annie seems better,” you mention to Finnick as you both stare out towards the dying embers of the day. “She can sit in the same room as me for an hour without screaming now.”

“I always hopped you two would get along,” Finnick hums. He had watched for years as the two of you avoided each other like the plague, scared that all sanity would be lost if an encounter were to occur.

It had been hard for Finnick to convince Annie at first that you weren’t going to kill her. He remembers how terrified of you she was before she even entered the arena.

“I think that’s my biggest fear,” Annie had admitted to her mentor the night before her games. “Watching someone you cared about’s head get hacked off right in front of you.”

She had been mentally scared by the image of your kill in the arena. She remembers watching you decapitate Floyd while his district partner watched in horror, unable to stop it.

Annie never blamed you for your kill, at least not after she left the arena. But, seeing her own district partner go out in the same way left her with trauma that was unintentionally linked with you.

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all your sickness, i can suck it up. -> e.roundtree

WARNINGS: alcohol and maybe some cursing?

SYNOPSIS: The push and pull between you and Eddie Roundtree was never-ending. No matter how hard you tried to push him away, you always came back together.  word count: 1,573

NOTES: This is part (6/8) of the Beast of Burden series! Part five can be found here. I hope y'all enjoy! Series is almost done now...

Los Angeles, 1974 

Somehow, the news of Camila’s pregnancy didn’t surprise you at all. The way she and Billy had been going, they were either going to be together ‘til death and raise a small army of unnervingly attractive babies together, or else they were going to crash and burn in the flames of the most damaging breakup known to man. It was going to be the first one, you guessed. 

The timing was shit, of course, considering all of you were getting ready to head out on tour very soon. But with Billy’s lifestyle, was there ever going to be a good time? Probably not, you thought, which is why you were wholeheartedly into their middle of the night wedding plan. You knew Billy was trying to be a good dad already, in his fucked up, disjointed kind of way. He was trying to set up a real family for this baby to be born into, even if he would be leaving Camila all alone right after they got hitched. You respected the effort. 

You put on one of your nicest dresses, a beautiful thing of deep green silk and beaded details that fell to midcalf and moved like water on your body. Camila had done a wonderful job turning the backyard into a beautiful backdrop for the wedding. If you were a stranger, you might have even thought that some planning had gone into all of this, that the matrimonial couple had chosen to have a nocturnal backyard wedding because it’s what they wanted, not because of extenuating circumstances. 

You downed a glass of champagne and a half before the vows were said, and your alcohol consumption only grew, quickly and steadily, after that. An hour later you were standing with your back against the house, thoroughly drunk and pouting as you watched Billy waltz Camila around the makeshift dance floor, happy giggles dropping like bubbles from her perfect mouth. 

An ache had settled in your chest the minute that they had announced their pregnancy, and it had only grown in intensity throughout the night. For a long time, you couldn’t quite put your finger on what was causing it, but the picturesque tableau in front of you made everything clear. 

You were jealous. 

Billy and Camila had the one thing you had wanted for so long and felt like you would never be able to have. They had their happiness with each other, and they could put it on display for all the world to see. There was nothing stopping them from being together, nothing in the way of them finding a home within each other. And they were married now, in a perfectly imperfect little ceremony celebrating with their closest friends-turned-family, preparing for a life as a unit together. 

You wanted to have that more than anything, and you wanted it with Eddie. You could picture your perfect life so vividly, one where you could call Eddie your own and be happy with him without worrying about any kind of consequences, but it was like all of it was on the other side of a solid wall of soundproof glass.  The kind of glass that you could hit with a baseball bat over and over, but would never break. Would never let you in. Not as long as you wanted your respect, your fame, your art. 

“Hey, you alright over here?” Eddie, seemingly materializing right out of your drunken daydream, was standing next to you, a slightly worried look on his face. 

“Eddie,” you grinned, voice coming out far louder than you had planned on. Eddie laughed, taking in your clearly hammered state. 

“You know, it’s kind of bad form to get so fucking drunk at a wedding,” he noted, amusement filling his eyes. 

“Oh, please,” you waved a hand dismissively. “I can get as drunk as I want in my own backyard, wedding or not, thank you very much.” 

“And who am I to argue with that logic,” he responded, holding his hands up in mock surrender. 

“Exactly,” you nodded approvingly. “Care to dance with me, Mr. Roundtree?” 

“I’d love to,” he smiled, offering you a hand like a proper gentleman. You took it, and he led you over to the makeshift dance floor. He pulled you towards him, his hands going securely to your waist as yours wound loosely around his neck. The two of you easily found the rhythm, swaying back and forth along with the song. 

You lost yourself in the familiar scent of Eddie’s cologne, spicy and a little green, like the Pennsylvania forests as summer turned to autumn. You stared up at him unabashedly with love-filled eyes, taking in every feature of his face. 

“What are you lookin’ at, darling?” he asked, staring back at you with the same affection. You felt the corners of your mouth lift into an involuntary smile at the mere sound of his voice. 

“Jus’ you,” you hummed, tilting your head to look at him from a slightly different angle. The lanterns that Camila had hung in the trees cast a warm, yellow glow across the yard, and it touched every bit of Eddie with gold. 

“Like what you see?” he asked, grin turning cheeky. 

“Mm, I always do.” Your heart snagged at the red flush that overtook his face at your words. You caught sight of Camila and Billy dancing behind Eddie, and the pout returned to your face before you could tamp it down. 

“What’s going on with you tonight, (y/n/n)?” Eddie asked, a frown on his face to match your own. “You can talk to me, you know that.” 

You sighed, embarrassed to realize that there were tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. You sighed, trying to gather yourself as much as you could through the haze of booze. You didn’t want Eddie to see you cry. Not on a night that was supposed to be nothing but celebration. 

“It’s just– I see them,” you started, tilting your head towards the happy couple. “I see them, and I wish it could be us.”

You watched Eddie’s eyes widen in surprise, confusion coloring his features, and you pressed on before he could respond, intent on explaining exactly what you meant. 

“I want us to be able to just be happy, Eddie. I wish there was nothing else complicating things. I want us to be able to be together and everyone to know it and that to just be that, you know? I want… I want us to go through life together as a unit, and it’s breaking my heart right now that we can’t,” your voice was rough with emotion by the end of your explanation, unshed tears swimming in your eyes as you lifted your head to look at Eddie. You wished that you weren’t too drunk to lie. You wished you had the wherewithal to tuck all of these emotions neatly away where no one could see them, not even him. You wished that you could reach up and kiss him and maybe feel a little peace. 

Eddie brought one hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb dragging gently back and forth across your skin, and you leaned into the comfort of his touch. 

“I want that, too,” he said softly, and your heart clenched at the undertone of pain in his voice. 

“I’m sorry for all of this,” you said. A tear escaped your eye, and Eddie brushed it away with heartbreaking tenderness. “If I was different, we–” 

“I would never want you to be different,” Eddie cut in firmly. “I love you because of every single thing that makes up who you are, and I wouldn’t change any of it. I want you to achieve everything you desire, and I would never want you to desire less than you do.”

You smiled at his words, shaking your head fondly. Never in your life did you imagine being loved with the ferocity that Eddie loved you with. Loved despite everything, loved because of everything. Loved in every manner, in every version, in every world. 

“I never imagined something as wonderful as you could exist, Edwin,” you said earnestly. “And I’m still sorry that I’m the one standing in the way of us having all of this.” 

“I’m not sorry about it,” Eddie shrugged. “I get the honor of watching you achieve your dreams. And while you’re out there achieving everything you’ve ever wanted, I’ll wait for you until we can have this, too.”

“I can’t ask you to wait for me,” you said, eyebrows drawing in at the thought. Who knew how life would go? Who knew how many years would go by before the opportunity presented itself? 

“You didn’t ask me to, angel. But I’m not capable of anything else,” Eddie said. “I love you, and that’s not going away. It’s been how many years already? You’re just stuck with me now.”

You laughed, your head dropping against his broad chest. 

“I promise it won’t always be like this. One day it’ll pass, all my anxieties, all the possible consequences. Then we’ll have all this, too.” 

“I know,” Eddie nodded. “There’s no other choice for us, I don’t think. You and I are just a fact of life.” 

A fact of life. You liked that. Eddie being tied to you in some overarching, cosmic way was about the only thing in life that made sense.

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Don't Fear The Reaper - Chapter Four

Description: There's no way out of the camp. Your luck keeps on getting worse and worse. Things with Warren evolve.

Content warnings: For the fic; violence with a knife, blood, death, gore, sexual themes, drug use. For this chapter; blood, gore, severe injury, fear, sexual content

Pairing: Daisy Jones & The Six x OC Donna Smith

Series Masterlist Playlist Taglist Previous Chapter

June 15, 1978 Graham and Eddie were up before sunrise. It seemed smart to get to the police station sooner rather than later. You managed to sleep a little better, but you had to fall asleep watching TV on the couch. Eddie didn’t notice anything as he hopped in the driver’s seat of his car and stuck the key in the ignition.

“It won’t start,” he said as he turned to Graham.

“Pop the hood. You might need a jump.”

“Cables are in the trunk.”

With his flashlight in his mouth, Graham opened the hood. 

“Uh, just curious. How long have you had your car unlocked?” He asked.

“Since we got here. Why? You see anything?”

“It’s what I don’t see that’s the problem.”

Eddie practically ran out of the car to see what Graham was looking at. He was shaken up at the fact that his battery had been removed, but they had to get to the police station. They hopped in Graham’s car and rolled the windows down as they slowly made their way out of the camp. Eddie’s face got whiter (if that was even possible) and Graham’s mouth went dry as they stopped in front of the old pickup truck blocking the only way out of camp. They decided to turn around to tell everyone what was going on.

You woke up with a shout as you heard the door to the house swing open. Graham was in the doorway with everyone else behind him. You got up and fixed your hair while Billy got Camila up.

“You mean you can’t just move it?” You asked as they informed you of what they saw.

“Even if we could, the tires are slashed. We’d be on rims and it might as well be a worthless piece of junk at this point.”

“Okay, dumbass, get in and put that baby on neutral. We’ll push it out of the way,” Daisy said.

“What if the doors are locked?”

“That’s what rocks are for. I’d rather you have an ass full of glass than all of the kids being in danger. That rhymed.”

“Alright, then. We’ll keep the kids in the mess hall with activities while we try and get that truck moved. That sound good?”

All of you nodded your heads before going in separate directions. Warren and Eddie walked next to you, asking what you were planning for the kids when you realized that you’d need help taking stuff to and from the mess hall.

“Well, if it was a normal day, I’d take everyone outside and drop Mentos in Diet Coke, but I obviously can’t do that. So we’re painting flower pots and stained glass suncatchers. I’m not really sure what else I can do to occupy them.”

“Worst comes to worst, we’ll shut off all the lights and fire up the projector. It’ll be okay,” Warren said.

“I really hope so.”

The kids didn’t ask any questions as to why they were staying in the mess hall all day. Granted, Karen had said that they had to have someone come out and fix the pool, but they couldn’t see the parking lot from the mess hall. They stayed occupied with the flower pots until lunch and you collected them to set them out to dry while Daisy worked on lunch with Warren and Billy. Eddie and Graham came back while the kids were getting their food and you all sat at an empty table together.

“Truck’s not moving,” Eddie said.

Your knuckles turned white from how hard you were gripping your fork. Warren placed his hand on your thigh to try and get you to calm down.

“Tell me you at least broke into it,” Daisy said.

“We did, and whoever is doing this broke the key just right so we can’t pull it out or move it to start the engine. We couldn’t get a grip on it with tweezers. We tried. It’s not going anywhere.”

“Try again. This is starting to spin into an emergency situation and we’re gonna need to get the kids out. So unless anyone happens to know of a trail or something that could lead to the main road, moving that truck is our only way out,” Billy said.

“Relax. We will figure this out,” Camila said.

“I know, but I’m honestly kind of scared. We already know that it could be a guy trying to recreate what happened thirty years ago, right? A bunch of kids wound up missing or dead. So, if we’re right, we need to get the kids out. Like immediately.”

“The original murders didn’t start until it got dark, and he didn’t go for the kids first,” Eddie said.

“Then we’ll find a way to get them out of here before dark tonight. That’s not until 9 o’clock, right? We’ve got time.”

“That’s a great idea, but the only problem with it is that I don’t even think the kids would know where to go if something was to happen to us,” Karen said.

“Then we tell them that there’s an emergency and that no one is allowed to go anywhere without an adult, especially after dark. We’re staying here, no matter what. No one’s going on any of the trails. We tell them that the phones are down, but we’re going to get them home,” Daisy said.

“And what if we’re not sure if we can get them home?” Billy asked.

“Say it anyways. They’re going to be scared, but they need to know that this will end.”

You watched from the sidelines as everyone told the kids about the emergency after they ate dinner. It wasn’t surprising that all of the kids seemed scared. None of them would sit still or quiet down as the adults tried to get them to line up to head back to the cabins. You were packing the paint up when you felt a tap on your arm.

“Miss Donna, will you protect me?” Astrid asked. Your heart melted.

“Of course. Honey, I’d do just about anything for you. We’re doing our best to figure out what’s going on and we’re going to get you out of here. Go with Billy, okay? He’ll keep you safe on the way to the cabin.”

“Okay. Thank you. I’m really scared.”

“It’s okay to be scared. I’ll walk you back to your cabin, okay?”

Astrid nodded her head and grabbed your hand as you walked back to the cabin. All of the kids were murmuring about something when you walked in and Billy looked exhausted. He said something about how many questions the kids had. Lying to them wasn’t easy but it was a lot better than saying, “We’re all in danger and there’s no way out,”. You asked if he wanted to come over after the kids were asleep to play some games and watch a movie. Everyone wanted to join in when you around to the other cabins to ask.

“What are you up to?” You asked Camila as you knocked on the door of the nurse’s cabin.

“Making sure I have enough supplies. Granted, all I’ve needed to use are the Band-Aids and ice packs, but I don’t want to be unprepared if something happens.”

“Okay, well, everyone’s coming over later to relax after the kids are asleep.”

“That’s fine.”

You made it back to the house and read until it started to get dark. Camila got back and refilled her water bottle before turning the dials on the TV to find something to watch. She settled for a gameshow and you got out some board games before looking for snacks. You decided that s’mores over the oven would be a good idea, so you went to the mess hall to get everything. Warren walked into the house right as you got back and he helped you set things out.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about what happened the other night. Or what almost happened, depending on how you look at it,” he softly said while you were in the kitchen.

“Okay?”

“Well, how did you feel about it? I don’t want anything to be awkward between us but I like you a lot and I’d like to take you out sometime.”

You stared at him while you poured chips into a large bowl.

“Uh, yeah, sure. That’d be nice. Sorry, you just kind of caught me off guard. Maybe we could go out after camp?”

“I like the sound of that.”

You acted like nothing had happened as you went back out to the living room and put the snacks on the table. Warren put his arm around you while the movies played. You finally got up to see who wanted s’mores at around midnight.

“I’m gonna go out for a smoke but thanks,” Eddie said.

“I’m pretty tired so I’m gonna go back to my cabin,” Karen said as she stood up and grabbed her water bottle. Camila and Billy looked at each other before looking back at Karen and Eddie.

“We’re not together. That’s gross.”

It wasn’t long before everyone started to leave. Warren walked you to your room and you stopped to let him in. He had his hands on your hips and started to kiss you while walking you back towards the bed. He groaned as you wrapped your hand around his hardened cock and started to pump him.

“Fuck - yeah, just like that.”

He came in your hand and took a moment to catch his breath. After saying that you didn’t have to do anything, you both decided it would be best to get some sleep for now.

Billy was asleep for maybe an hour before one of the boys woke him up, needing to use the bathroom. He slid his shoes on and grabbed the flashlight to head out to the bathrooms. You could hear crickets chirping and there was a slight breeze, but nothing seemed too out of the ordinary. Trees rustled and twigs snapped as Billy looked away from the door to the boy’s bathroom.

“Billy, man, you gotta help me! I’m fuckin’ bleeding out!” Eddie yelled. Billy thought it was a prank until he shined his flashlight in the direction of the noise.

“Shit. I’ve got a kid in the bathroom. Wait here, sit against a rock or a tree, I don’t know. I’m gonna get help.”

The boy walked out of the bathroom and Billy told him to go straight to the cabin without turning around or stopping. Eddie tried to lean against a tree, but he was bleeding so much that he thought he would pass out. Billy made Karen and Graham get up since their cabins were closest.

“You’re gonna be okay, man. I’m just gonna put this over you for now and we’ll get Camila,” Graham said. He turned to Billy and nodded, a silent cue for Billy to hurry and get Camila.

You woke up to someone knocking on your door. Warren scrambled out of the bed and you walked to the door to see what was going on. There wasn’t time for questions as Billy and Camila ushered both of you outside with flashlights. You kind of knew what was going on, but Warren kept you behind him because he didn’t want you to see Eddie.

“I don’t know what happened. He just stopped talking and he’s not responding,” Graham said.

Camila told him to get out of the way and found that he still had a pulse even though he was heavily bleeding.

“Okay. I need the three of you to take your shirts off - don’t look at me like that. We need to pack the wound and get him to the infirmary. There are cots in there - uh, I think Teddy got them from an army surplus store, at least two of you need to go and get one of those. It’s too dark for me to do anything else out here. Shit, I can hardly see how deep these cuts are.”

“Daisy will go with me and Donna,” Warren said. You nodded your head and walked to the nurse’s cabin. It didn’t take long at all to find one of the cots that Camila was talking about, but Warren stopped you before you could make it out of the door.

“I think you should stay here. Eddie’s not looking good. There’s a lot of blood, like a lot a lot, and I don’t want you to get freaked out. We’ll be back, I promise.”

“Okay.”

All you could do was sit and wait. Warren didn’t want you to leave the infirmary, so you sat in your anxiety for a while. Everyone had to work to get Eddie on the cot in a way that wouldn’t result in him bleeding out. You held the door open for Billy and Graham. They got Eddie on a bed and Camila closed the privacy curtain. You all looked up when you heard a shout. Camila burst out of the section and kept her eyes on the guys.

“At the bare minimum, he needs stitches. His wounds are so bad that I’m gonna need to knock him out but I don’t have any anesthetic. One of you needs to knock him out. You know, I normally don’t condone violence but this is the exception.”

“Oh, hell yeah. I’ve been wanting to punch him for years!” Warren exclaimed as he got up and went behind the curtain. He came back after a while and sat with you. It looked like everyone was going to stay in the infirmary to wait for Camila to finish stitching Eddie up. You fell asleep with your head on Warren’s shoulder, but he woke you up when Camila came out with news.

“I gave him stitches but that’s pretty much all we can do. He’s still out cold but we need to get him to a hospital. It’s a miracle that he was still alive when we found him. I’m gonna stay here and clean up. Keep an eye on him through the night.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea? Leaving him here, I mean,” Daisy said.

“It’ll be fine. We don’t really have anywhere else to move him. I don’t think anyone’s gonna come in here overnight. There’s not anything in here worth stealing and Eddie’s behind a privacy curtain.”

“Okay. We’ll regroup here in the morning.”

Morning came and you hadn’t slept at all. Warren stayed up with you as you watched whatever comedies on tape you could find. Camila had managed to sleep, at least in part. Billy came to check on her a few times throughout the night. Eddie looked better when you saw him, but the conversation was mostly about what to do with the kids.

“We know he’s serious now, which means that we’re running out of time to get the kids out of here,” Karen said.

You walked over to the phone and looked at it before taking it off of the hook and attempting to dial 9-1-1. Nothing had changed. 

“Alright, this is a map of the property,” Graham said as he laid a map out on the table. “We need to get the kids out of here by tomorrow evening at the latest. Our main exit is blocked off but we can branch off of the trails a little bit. We’ll eventually have them at the main road.”

“And what are we supposed to do after that?” Daisy asked.

The clock ticking was the only thing that you could hear as silence consumed the room. It was obvious that no one had a plan beyond getting the kids to the main road. Warren shrugged and looked at you like he was going to let them hitch hike. 

“I don’t know.”

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one; a study in lake water and forest princesses. -> w.rojas

WARNINGS: None for this chapter!

SYNOPSIS: This is chapter one of the Camp Wawayanda Lake Series! (read the prologue here!) It's the first day of camp and Billy does something stupid that sets Daisy on a summer-long path toward revenge. word count: 3,620

NOTES: I'm super psyched that you guys loved the prologue! I hope this one lives up to your expectations <3 check out the official series playlist on spotify!

Dawn was barely breaking over camp when you awoke. Stretching, you observed your cabin mates in the gray morning light: Daisy in the bed next to you, sprawled on her stomach, her red hair a chaotic mess all around her; Simone on the other side of her, pink satin bonnet secured over her hair, ancient quilt tucked right up around her chin; across the room Karen, her sheets and blankets shoved to the floor in the night, laying flat on her back with her head hanging almost over the edge, messy blonde hair brushing the wooden floor; and Camila, curled in the fetal position and almost tucked entirely beneath her sheet, only the top of her dark head of hair visible. You couldn’t help but grin as you looked around at the four of them. There was no better feeling in the world than waking up back at camp, surrounded by your favorite people. Waking up even earlier than you had to for school didn’t even feel bad when it was at Wawayanda Lake. 

Slowly, you pulled yourself onto your feet and made your bed, laughing to yourself over the fact that none of your movement or noise made anyone else wake up. All of your girls were such heavy sleepers. Just then, you knew the kitchen crew was finishing breakfast, setting it out on the long buffet tables for the kids and staff. You were close friends with a lot of the kitchen boys– Mario and Pat and Benny especially, all boys whose mothers were friends with Rod and had been coming to camp with you practically since birth– and the thought of them getting breakfast ready already had you excited to get back to your usual nightly poker games with them and the girls. 

You change into a loose powder blue t-shirt and a pair of orange athletic shorts, sitting on the edge of your bed to tie your laces before heading to the cabin’s tiny bathroom– nothing more than a toilet and a sink with a rusted mirror above it, as the showers had a cabin of their own– to brush your teeth and fix your hair for the day. As you do so, you hear the others begin to stir in the other room, and by the time you emerge, Camila and Simone are up with their beds made, getting ready for the day. 

“How on Earth are you always up so damn early?” Simone grumbled as she caught sight of you coming out of the bathroom, chipper and ready to get started on the first day of camp. She was sitting on her made bed, her clothes for the day on her lap, though she made no move to actually get dressed. 

You laughed, shaking your head at the grumpy way her eyebrows drew together. “Some of us can function as morning people, Mone.” 

“I can’t believe you ever became a counselor in the first place,” Camila piped up from the other side of the room with a laugh. “It’s, like, a mix of so many things you hate. Getting up early, the outdoors, the heat, being surrounded by so many children.”

Simone rolled her eyes as Camila ticked off the reasons on her fingers. “Something about you people charmed me, but I honestly can’t remember what now.” 

“Oh, you don’t mean that,” you dismissed, wrapping your arms around Simone’s shoulders. “We’re your irresistibly favorite people.” Simone only grunted in response, finally standing and making a move to get dressed as you released her shoulders. 

“I’ll see you guys at breakfast, I’m gonna go visit Rod and Teddy first,” you said, opening the screen door and letting yourself out into the cool morning air. It was slightly foggy, though you could see the sun doing its damndest to break through and knew it would be blistering by noon. 

Teddy and Rod had a cabin up near the administrative buildings, a few minutes’ walk away from the counselor and camper cabins. It was one of the oldest structures on the property, an honest-to-god logger’s cabin that had been built sometime in the 1890s, a beautiful, cozy little place that you had spent as much time as possible in as a kid. It was about sixty years later that the rest of the camp began to spring up around it. 

You knew Uncle Rod would still be asleep when you got there– he’d always been terrible at waking up before eleven at the earliest, but Teddy was just as much of an early bird as you. Stepping up to the front porch, you caught sight of him through the window, sitting in one of the big armchairs in the living room with a cup of coffee and a book. You rapped your knuckles lightly against the glass, sending him a wave when he looked up. Smiling, he came over to open the door for you. 

“Mornin’ sunshine,” he greeted, moving aside to allow you in. 

“Morning, Teddy,” you grinned, dropping into the chair opposite his. “So, first day. How are you feeling about this season?”

“Tired just thinkin’ about it,” he chuckled. “The kids seem good, though. Our regulars are back, and the new kids don’t seem like they’ll be trouble.”

“Thankfully,” you agreed. “I’m just glad that little menace, Danny Kowalski, from last year didn’t come back.” 

“I told his mother our price was raised by seventy-five dollars just to get her not to send him back,” Teddy told you seriously, and you bursted into laughter. 

“Genius,” you said as you calmed down. 

“How are you feeling about this season?”

“Oh, relieved to be back,” you told him. “This is my place, you know? All of my favorite people are here, and I love looking after the kids. I couldn’t wait to get back.” 

“I don’t think you’ll ever know what it means to your uncle that you love it here so much,” Teddy told you, the smile on his face soft and fond. 

“Well, I don’t think he’ll ever know how much it means to me that he keeps inviting me back,” you responded earnestly. Teddy reached out and dropped his large hand over yours, patting it a few times. 

“You better get goin’ to breakfast before you miss all the good stuff,” Teddy told you and you laughed, standing from your seat. 

“See you later, tell Uncle Rod I dropped in,” you said with a wave as you exited back out onto the dirt path. The sun had broken through the morning mist a little more, cascading in golden beams through the trees. By now, the wake up call had gone out through the camp, and everyone was in varying states of consciousness, getting ready for the day and making their way to breakfast. You passed gaggles of little campers in matching Wawayanda Lake ringer tees, the white fabric standing against the dark green letters and collar and their already tanned skin. 

All of your friends were at your usual table as you entered the mess hall, raucous conversation emanating from your little corner. You laughed to yourself when you saw that Daisy was leaning her head against the wall, seemingly asleep again. If Simone was bad with mornings, Daisy was awful with them. You made your plate and joined them, easily falling into the conversation they were already in the middle of. That was something you loved so dearly about these friends, this place; you felt that you belonged in every way and with every person. Not once had you ever felt alone or isolated here, and you knew that you never would. 

After breakfast, you stopped in the break room of the mess hall with everyone else to see what your assignments for the day were. You each had two daily, one assignment for the morning, and one for the afternoon, after lunch. Finding the row with your name, you almost laughed out loud. You and Daisy were assigned to lead the morning hike. Should be fun, seeing how Daisy is still barely awake. You watched as Daisy, eyelids still drooping, found her assignment and groaned, collapsing into the desk chair behind her. 

“Hey, maybe the hike will help wake you up,” you said to Daisy, clapping her on the shoulder with a shit-eating grin. 

“Easy for you to say, you’ve got the arts and crafts cabin this afternoon,” Daisy grumbled. “I have to teach stupid tennis after traipsing through the woods.” 

“Oh, come on, Hazy, lace up your sneakers,” you said, amused. A few minutes later the two of you were standing at the head of the blue trail with a group of twenty campers, chatting eagerly with one another and amped up on a school year’s worth of pent up energy. 

Blue trail went about a third of the way around the edge of the large lake, emptying out at the docks before pivoting and returning back to the main camp deeper through the woods. It took about two hours to complete, leaving you all time to freshen up a bit before lunch and the afternoon activities. You loved leading the hike. You knew all the trails by heart; hell, you could find your way back to camp without any trail in the dark at this point, probably. You knew a lot about the local flora and fauna and loved to point out what you saw on the hike, watching the kids’ mesmerized faces as they trailed a pair of blue jays through the sky, or caught a glimpse of a deer through a copse of trees. 

Daisy, on the other hand, absolutely hated it. Leading the hike was probably her least favorite activity at camp, and Rod was probably being a little shit by assigning it to her on the very first day. Luckily, yours and the kids' excitement was eclipsing Daisy’s already stormy mood. 

“Alright, campers,” you announced, and suddenly twenty pairs of eyes were on you. “I have a prize for whoever can spot and correctly identify five different birds on our hike. How ‘bout we get this show on the road?” 

With a cheer the kids surged forward and you grinned, leading the way into the mouth of the trail. You breathed in the thick scent of pine, relishing in the warmth of the dappled sunlight filtering through the branches. You kept a list in your little field notes book of who had identified which bird, and led a few call and response songs that you knew off the top of your head from your Girl Scouts days, laughing as the kids screamed them back at you at the top of their lungs. Daisy trudged behind, bringing up the rear, slowly but surely waking up, her mood brightening by degrees. Even she was not impervious to the happiness that sunlight brings. 

Sooner than you expected, the path widened until it emptied into the small, sandy area that constituted a beach in front of the lake. The dock lay beyond it, a few rowboats tethered to one side and a group of campers splashing around in the designated swim area on the other side. You grinned as you caught sight of Warren standing at the edge of the dock in a white t-shirt and red lifeguard board shorts, bent over with his hands on his knees so that he could talk to two kids in the water. Billy, the other counselor assigned to morning lake duty, was taking his shirt off and threatening to get in the water after a few kids who weren’t following the rules. 

“Okay, guys! We’re at the halfway point, so how about we take a little break?” you said, turning around to face your small group. “Why don’t you all sit at the picnic tables and eat the snacks you brought.” 

At your words, the kids flew off in the direction of the clump of picnic tables, taking water bottles and granola bars out of their drawstring bags. Daisy came to stand next to you, and for the first time that morning, she had a smile on her face. 

“Not so bad, huh, Hazy?” you asked, nudging her in the ribs when she rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t push it, babe,” she warned you, and you threw your hands up in mock surrender. 

“C’mon, let’s go say hello to the boys,” you said, linking your arm through hers and dragging her towards the dock. Billy noticed the pair of you first, and stopped threatening the kids in the water long enough to come over to you. 

“Hey, how’s the hike?” he asked, coming to a stop in front of you and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Terrible. As usual,” Daisy said, and Billy rolled his eyes, smirking at her usual antics. 

“Oh, don’t listen to her,” you said, unlinking your arm from Daisy’s so that you could dig a few granola bars out of your own bag. Wordlessly, you passed one to the redhead. “The rest of us are having a great time.” 

Just as you were about to open your granola bar, someone slammed into your side full force. A pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, steadying you so that you wouldn’t fall on your ass. Turning your head, you came nose to nose with Warren’s grinning face. 

“Hey, cariño, what are you doing out here?” Even after you were steadied, Warren’s arms stayed linked securely around your waist. Unconsciously, you felt yourself slightly leaning into the warmth of him, the clean cotton smell of his shirt and the coconut scent of his sunscreen. 

“Hiking,” you told him, gesturing to shore, where your group was sitting. “Taking our halfway point break.” 

“Well, aren’t I lucky that I was scheduled out here today, then,” he said cheekily, and you rolled your eyes, playfully pushing him away. “Did you see we’re working the arts and crafts cabin together later?” 

“Yup,” you nodded, “looks like you’re double lucky today.”

“Looks like,” Warren agreed. 

You hadn’t noticed that Daisy and Billy had moved down the dock during your conversation until Daisy started shouting. Whipping around, you spotted the pair of them on the other end of the dock. She seemed to be reprimanding him, and based on the shit-eating grin on his face, he was not absorbing a single thing she said. He made a move to poke her in the ribs, and as she jerked away from that, attempted to grab the granola bar out of her hand. As she tried to dodge him, she lost her footing. 

“Oh fuck,” you breathed, being able to see the disaster about to unfold, but unable to do anything to stop it. 

Daisy’s arms pinwheeled in the air, her light eyes going wide. The heel of her sneaker had gotten caught between two slats of wood, halting her movement and making her completely lose her balance. Billy was too caught up in screwing around to notice in time to help, and before anyone else could move, Daisy fell backward into the lake with a loud splash. 

“Shit. Daisy!” Billy shouted, kneeling down and holding on the dock with one hand, reaching down to try to grab the redhead and pull her out with the other. In seconds, he had a grip on her forearm, and blithely pulled her out of the water, helping her climb back onto the dock. 

Despite her dousing, Daisy’s whole face was bright red, made to look all the brighter by the fiery hair plastered to her face. You could practically see the steam coming out of her ears. 

“This is not good,” Warren muttered beside you, and you shook your head in agreement. It was like watching a car crash: horrible, but you couldn’t tear your eyes away. 

“You better watch yourself, Dunne,” Daisy said, her voice dangerously low as she jabbed her pointer finger into his chest. “Because I will be getting payback.” 

Without another word, Daisy turned on her heel and trudged off the dock towards your group. She shouted something at them and started down the trail without checking to see if you or the children were following her. 

“Okay, I’ll see you later,” you told Warren, pulling him into a quick hug before running down the dock. You offered a quick wave to Billy, stifling a laugh at the expression of horror adorning his face. 

“Break time over, guys! Let’s go catch up with Daisy,” you called, harried, to the kids, who were doing their best to pack their snacks up and get back to the trail. You brought up the rear for the rest of the hike, keeping a worried eye on Daisy’s distant wet head. 

Daisy disappeared into your cabin during the break, and you filled in the rest of the girls on the morning’s events over lunch. Everyone was in agreement that Daisy was about to go nuclear, and nothing good could possibly come from it. Knowing Daisy meant knowing that there was absolutely no way to predict how she would react to anything, and you were all waiting with baited breath to see what form her payback would come in for this incident. 

You all parted at the end of lunch uneasily, heading into the afternoon with a wariness, keeping on high alert to see if Daisy would try to get her revenge immediately. However, as you walked past the tennis courts to get to the arts and crafts cabin, you saw Daisy standing near the fence, wearing a new, dry outfit and with her still-damp hair tied up in a ponytail. She sure as hell didn’t look happy, but she also didn’t look like she was about to find and kill Billy Dunne in the immediate future, either. That was the best you could hope for. 

You were a few minutes late to afternoon activities after taking the long way past the tennis courts, and when you arrived, Warren already had all the kids started on their art: macaroni necklaces for the little ones, string friendship bracelets for the older ones. Warren was sitting in one of the tiny plastic kid chairs, his knees practically up to his chest as he helped a little redheaded boy string macaroni onto some thread. Smiling, you grabbed a chair from a stack against the wall and sat across from him. 

“Oh, look who finally showed up to her post,” Warren said by way of greeting. 

“I decided to take pity on you and not leave you alone in a room full of children and gallons of glitter,” you responded, your voice as full of sarcastic faux-cheer as his. He rolled his eyes, handing the redheaded boy his necklace once he was done helping him. 

“So…” Warren started, glancing around the table to make sure all the kids were too busy with their projects to really be listening to your conversation. “This morning was interesting, huh?”

“That’s one word for it, for sure.” 

“What do you think Daisy means by ‘payback’?”

“Your guess is as good as mine, Rojas,” you said honestly. “But whatever she settles on, it’s not gonna be pretty.” 

Warren laughed in agreement. “I feel sorry for Billy.”

“Eh, he’s got it coming,” you shrugged. “The two of them rib each other all summer every year. I can’t believe it took this long to escalate, honestly.” 

“Maybe if Daisy kicks his a–” Warren started, cutting himself off abruptly when he remembered he was surrounded by impressionable elementary schoolers. “His you know what, they’ll act normal next summer.” 

“Now that is some wishful thinking– I don’t think either of them are capable of acting normal.” 

As you spoke, you absentmindedly strung pieces of macaroni and chunky wooden beads onto a strand of summery orange thread. When you finished, you triumphantly tied it and slung it around your neck, showing it off to the table in a way that made all the kids giggle. 

“And Miss (y/n),” a tiny, curly-haired boy to your left started. “You’re pretty! Right, Mr. Warren?” 

“Oh, certainly,” Warren agreed, nodding his head in a theatrical manner. “She’s so pretty because she’s the forest princess of Wawayanda Lake.” The little boy turned to look at you with shocked, saucer eyes, and you stifled a laugh. 

“Well, thank you boys,” you said, smiling gently at them. 

The rest of the afternoon flew by in the blink of an eye, you and Warren passing most of the time catching up on what happened over the school year and occasionally helping kids finish their projects. At dinner, all nine of you sat together, though Daisy pointedly sat all the way on the other end of the table from Billy, eating quickly and leaving the mess hall early. 

She wasn’t at the cabin when you all got back after your showers, and the rest of you tried to go about your night as normal, pretending the thought of Daisy out there somewhere on the campgrounds plotting revenge wasn’t unsettling. 

You sat on the front steps of your cabin with Karen, Camila, and Simone, wearing a giant Philadelphia Eagles t-shirt that you stole from Warren last summer, your hair swept up in your towel, a contraband cigarette dangling from your lips. Karen was on the step below you, her hair up in big pink rollers as she shuffled a deck of cards for a quick game of poker before you all got ready for bed. Just as she was about to deal, Daisy rounded the side of the cabin, making her way over to you with a scary look of determination on her face. 

There was a devilish gleam in her eye when she opened her mouth. 

“I know how we’re getting Billy back.”

tag list: @iwantloveletterss @boredshit-shadow @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @lilyhw1 @graziellasnotes @nicostars @robinismywife @xxxlaura @hella-sirius @everyonesannoyedwithme

Cherry Wine

[ next part ]

you meet your soulmate every night in your dreams, and tonight is no different. you just wish you knew his name is all.

tw: emotional cheating (maybe?), talk of abusive relationships (nothing descriptive, just mention), allusions to prostitution (I don't think it's outright stated?), mention of drowning, let me know if I missed something!

wc: 2.1k

a/n: i may or may not do another part depending on if people like this. idk it was really cathartic to write + i kinda wanna expand on reader's background + writing them meet

This was the only time you could ever meet. When the waves crashed over a dark beach, angry and relentless. Not even the moon existed in this place — nothing but skies as dark as the water stretched on forever. Even still, you looked forward to it every night. Sitting on the beach with him as the waves continued raging, until they eventually overtook you and you woke up gasping.

He insisted the beach never looked this dark. That it was never this terrifying. That it didn't continue to rise until it tried to drown you. He promised that one day, when you finally meet, he’d show you how lovely the beach truly was. How bright and warm the sun was, how cool and gentle the waves were when they lapped at your ankles. You didn't think you'd care what the beach looked like as long as he was there. If it was important enough to him to somehow make it through both of the clouded grays tormenting your minds, it was important to you too.

As long as it was him and not her. As long as it was the boy who’d hold your hand, who'd rub his thumb across your knuckles mindlessly, who’d try to comfort you and make you forget about your home life. On those nights, when he seemed able to calm you down, the ocean remained calmer for a longer time. On those nights, you half believed his promise of the beach being kind.

Even now, he looked so at peace standing by the rushing water. There wasn't an ounce of fear tensing his wide shoulders. Despite all his problems — at least the ones he confided in you — he still looked happy. When he saw the outline of your figure, a wide smile split across his face. He always beamed when he saw you — as bright as the sun, as pretty as the stars, as delphic as the moon.

“Hey, sweetheart.” His voice barely carried to your lonely spot on the beach. He started towards you, his smile never faltering. You followed suit, as fast as you could in the wet sand. “You look as pretty as ever.”

You knew he was messing with you. You were covered by your silk nightgown, arms crossed on your chest tight, trying to ignore the wind that nipped your skin. Still, though, you returned his smile with one of your own. “You look warm.” You answered back, laughing softly. “Be honest — is that real fur?”

For a moment, he was confused, as if he had forgotten all about the fact he was dressed to the nines. Looking down, he remembered. He wasn't at home and he didn't have the energy to change. He was quickly shrugging the coat off and draping it across your shoulders. “No. No, it's faux. In fact, if you look right here,” He stood behind you, lifting the arm of the coat closer to your eyes. “You’ll see how the fibers melted together.”

You wanted to look down at the sleeve, but you were distracted by the way his chest pressed against your back, how his arms slipped underneath your arms and wrapped around to your front, how his slow breaths were warm against your skin. You didn't think you’d be cold anymore, with or without the fur coat.

“How did they melt?” You asked curiously, your fingers clutching the open sides of the coat closer to your body. It smelled like honey and strawberries, it smelled like him. It washed over you, erasing the smell of cherries and wine. It made you forget.

“Well,” Finnick hummed, his chin coming down to rest on your shoulder. You were sure his eyes were closed softly, intent on listening to you breathe and the sound of the ocean. “Would you believe me if I said I couldn't tell you?”

You pushed the disappointment that buried deep in your chest, a feeling you were all too familiar with. But, despite the hollowness in your chest, you nodded. You understood better than anyone why some things, even with your soulmate, had to be a secret. “I would. Makes it mysterious,” He laughed, which made you smile. “I can make up all sorts of stories.”

“Oh really?” Your words had caught his attention. You knew because his nose pressed against your neck. You knew because you could feel the smirk form. “Like what, darling?”

You didn't respond. Instead, you looked at the ocean, which had since calmed into a low roar. His large hands splayed across your stomach, pressing into your ribs as he tried to warm them between the silk of your nightgown and fur of his coat.

You wished you could have known his name or the district he lived in, but that wasn't allowed. Anytime you tried, the ocean screamed or washed away the letters in the sand before they were even formed. Or the sky darkened so much you couldn't see your own hands, most certainly not each other's lips.

“Mm. I don't know.” You responded quietly as your own hands slipped through the arms of his coat and wrapped around your waist. You held him closer with the excuse of trying to warm his hands up. “If I told you, it would ruin the mystery of it.”

“That's true, love.” He pressed a warm kiss against your neck. It filled you with so much warmth you thought you’d combust into a million stars. “I look forward to this every night. I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night.”

His apology threatened to split your heart in half. There was no reason to apologize in your eyes. Sure, the hollow disappointment that filled your aching chest when he didn't arrive hurt, but it wasn't his fault. You knew that something needed his attention more than you. “It's okay,” you promised. “I’m not mad.”

“I know,” Finnick mused softly. He pressed another warm kiss against your neck, your bodies swaying together. “But, you still deserve the apology.”

You swallowed thickly, forcing the lump growing in your throat back down. As if the ocean reflected your emotions, the waves started crashing against the beach in larger pulls, nipping your toes with icy cold water. He was everything you wished she was. Even after everything, an apology never slipped past her lips. Not that it would've made a difference anyways, because her actions never matched.

Not wanting to lose you just yet, he hummed once again. His fingers found yours and interlocked them. As if on instinct, his thumbs brushed across your knuckles tenderly. “How’s your wife?” He asked, but not really caring in the slightest. He wanted to find everything about you out, about your life, so that he might be able to find you and whisk you away.

You took a moment to respond, not trusting your voice. “She’s fine.” You felt him squeeze your hand, encouraging you to continue. “She’s, well, she’s stressed. She won't tell me why, though, so I can only help in limited ways.”

“Limited ways?” He questioned you, knowing better than the sweet way you put it. It wasn't fair the way she had the audacity to turn your skin cherry red. If he could have fixed it, he would have. You’d never have to worry about her again.

“It helps.” You insisted, eyes burning. Humiliation clawed your throat. Part of you wished you had never told him, but then, he wouldn't be able to comfort you. To be the one thing saving you. “She doesn't mean it. The anger just takes her over and overwhelms her.”

“Still not a reason to hurt you.” He reminded, and you could tell he was on edge. His fingers tightened their hold, holding you closer to his chest. “What was it this time?”

You pursed your lips as you debated whether or not to tell him. You decided against it. “Would you believe me if I said I couldn't tell you?”

He sighed softly against your neck and picked his head up to kiss your temple. “I would.” A beat passed before he continued. “But, I wish I knew so I could kiss it better.”

Your head dipped as you smiled softly, swallowing the laughing sob that swelled in your throat. You knew he was entirely serious, that if you told him all the broken parts of you, he would spend all the time he had fixing it. It was tempting to tell him, so that he could kiss it better, but there wasn't enough time in the world for him to do that. Not with the ocean at your ankles now.

“How was work?” You asked, gently trying to change the subject. You didn't want to think about her. Not when he was here, holding you closely. In this dreamscape, where you got to be with your soulmate, nothing else mattered.

It was you, your soulmate, and the ocean.

It was his turn to contemplate whether or not he told you. A heavy sigh escaped through his nose, his hands guiding yours over your stomach. He squeezed you close, as if just having you there made it easier. It probably did.

“Stressful.” he admitted, debating how much he should truly tell you. “Last night was hard. Tonight was even harder.”

Your head fell back against his shoulder, turning inwards so you could kiss his neck. His breath caught in his throat, the longing of truly holding you threatening to suffocate him. You felt the water crash against your knees and pretended to ignore it.

“I’m sorry, love.” You whispered, and he knew you felt it deep in your bones with how tight your voice sounded. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

His initial answer was almost no, but he decided to offer something. “Just tired of people thinking pretty jewels and expensive gifts make what they do acceptable.”

The fur coat grew heavy on your shoulders as you realized it was one of his gifts. He would have never worn something so gaudy. Part of you wished you realized the moment he put it on you, so that you could've dropped it into the ocean and watched it disappear from the dreamscape altogether, forever.

“Or fancy baths that smell like mulled wine,” You offered in addition. You felt him smile despite the dark narrative. At least you had that in common; the way those in your life refused to see you as human.

“I much prefer my baths with flowers.” He laughed, kissing your cheek. “Sea thrift, to be exact.”

The water at your thighs didn't bother you. Not with him behind you, holding you tightly. Not with him kissing your cheek — careful not to brush against your lips. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him fully, but he insisted on waiting until he saw you in person. Until the moment you saw each other awake, you’d have to make do with this. But, he made up for it all with his doting and warm affection.

“Sea thrift?”

“Sea thrift.” He nodded, instinctively holding you closer to him. His fingers squeezed yours so tightly it hurt, but you didn't stop him. “Armeria Maritima. With as many books as your wife has, I'm sure there's one about them.”

You raised a brow, giggling. The sound made his chest swell with warmth. He loved you so much he was sure it would kill him one day. “Are you giving me homework?”

“Something to remind you of me tomorrow.” He answered — more so corrected. He would have loved to sit on the beach with you, card his fingers through your hair, and watch the waves, but tonight wasn't the night.

Usually, you got to spend almost all night together, only being torn apart when it was time to wake, but not tonight. Not with him away from home. Late to bed and early to rise. Your favorite moment was when you got to lay together, your head on his chest, half asleep with the buzz of the waves.

You were sure the beach could be a kind place. Full of kind, warm waters and sands. Even without ever visiting a real beach, it was your happy spot. All because of him. He pulled you out of your thoughts.

“I expect you to be able to tell me all about them.”

You turned around in his arms and buried your face in his chest. Her fingers gripped his white shirt, as his own slipped beneath the fur coat and clutched your silk nightgown. He didn't want to wake up. Not yet. It felt like he had just fallen asleep, and it truly wasn't fair that it wasn't your pretty face he got to wake up to.

“I love you, sugar.” He whispered and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.

You struggled to keep your head above water, but still found the voice to whisper back. “I love you, too.”

The Feral One • Ch 24

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

The moment y’all have been waiting for…

Content Warnings - Very descriptive gore, death, injury, lizard mutts

Your body is full of aches and chills as you trudge your way through the capital sewers. You definitely have a fever but there’s not much the squad can do at this point. They’re determined to get to Snow’s mansion.

Luckily, one of the cameramen knows the underground routes of the capital so the group isn’t at risk of getting lost. Every inch of you protests as you walk deeper underground but with no way to contact the rebels, you’re stuck with your squad for the time being.

The group finally decides to take a break and enters a small room that’s out of the water. You slouch down in the corner away from everyone else. Finnick comes to sit near you but you growl at him.

“Get away from me!” you snap, causing the group to look at you. Finnick sits near you anyways but doesn’t make any move to touch you.

“Are you feeling any better?” he asks. You shake your head no and the movement sends pain up your neck.

“My neck,” you groan. Finnick makes you tilt your head up so he can look.

“It’s spreading,” he sighs. He calls Jackson over to your corner.

“Is there anyway we can get her to medical?” he asks the woman. “It’s up to her neck now.”

“I’m sorry but communications are still down,” she shakes her head.

“I’m getting Katniss,” Finnick tells you. You want to protest but your eyes are really heavy as sleep tugs at you.

“She says it started with the headache,” he tells Katniss as she crouches down to look at the veins on your neck. “It was just on her arm but it’s been spreading. It’s not from a pod.”

“If it was something in the bloodstream it would be spreading faster,” she observes. “I’m thinking whatever it is, it’s not a poison from an external source. I’ve never seen this before.”

“Get away from me!” you sleepily snap at her. She moves and you quickly fall into a fitful sleep.

Tick Tock

Tick Tock

Katnissss

Tick! Tock!

Tick! Tock!

Katnisssssss

You jolt awake to Finnick shaking your shoulder.

“Mutts,” he tells you. “We have to move now!”

Suddenly full of adrenaline, you bolt through the murky depths of the sewers as the hissing gets louder. The veins seem to be spreading faster now, crawling their way up your neck to your jaw. Your squad mates panic at the sight of you but they all have bigger things to worry about right now.

You find yourself crawling through a small hole in the wall behind Finnick. You both stare as Jackson goes to enter the hole but she’s suddenly attacked by the mutts. At the sight of them, the black veins pulse upwards and start to rapidly spread.

“Come on!” Finnick yells at you. He doesn’t want to touch you but he will if it means pulling you to safety.

The two of you quickly catch up to the rest of the group. Katniss and Gale shoot arrows at the mutts, taking them down in clumps. Finnick makes you stay behind him as he spears the monsters with his trident. He had tried to give you a weapon but you refused it as your hands were in too much pain from the substance spreading inside of you.

The group progresses forward but the mutts don’t stop coming. Finally, someone sees a way out. Pollux motions for the group to climb a ladder but your vision is getting hazy and the sound of a clock pounding in your head blocks out everything around you.

Finnick watches in horror as your bright eyes fill with an inky black substance. You let out a low growl before lunging at one of the mutts and ripping its head off with your bare hands.

You quickly make work of the mutts in the room, ripping off limbs and gouging out eyes. Your squad continues to climb the ladder, leaving only you, Finnick, and Gale left at the bottom. You can’t see them though, you can only focus on your deep primal instinct to kill anything that comes at you.

One of the mutts catches you off guard, hitting you in the head. You cough up blackened blood before sinking your fingers into the creature and ripping out its tongue. It’s teeth graze your hand but you can’t feel anything but the urge to kill.

Finnick has to stop Gale from trying to pull you up the ladder.

“Don’t touch her!” Finnick warns. “She’ll kill you. She can’t recognize any of us.”

Gale quickly backs off and proceeds up the ladder. Finnick, though, had a predicament. How was he supposed to get you out of there without touching you? At this point even him being near you may set you off. He can’t just leave you here.

“Katniss!” he calls up, still fighting off mutts with his trident. “Sedative on an arrow. Now!”

Katniss understands exactly what Finnick wants her to do. She dips the tip of an arrow in sedative and shoots it into your shoulder. Not fatal, but hopefully it would knock you out.

The arrow to your shoulder further fueled your rage. You turn towards the ladder and grin, black foam spilling from your lips like a rabid animal. You go to make a leap towards your assailant when a mutt jumps onto your back, dragging you into the water.

The group watching can’t tell who’s blood is in the water, but there’s a lot of it. Scale covered flesh floats to the surface along with black blood. Finnick wants to help but he can’t see where the mutt is and he doesn’t want to stab you.

What feels like an eternity later, you emerge from the water, holding the spinal cord of the lizard mutt, the rest of its body in pieces around you. The remaining mutts recoil at the sight and slowly back away, fearing your presence.

You let out a deep growl, blood spilling from your mouth as the sound reverberates off the walls. At this, the mutts slither back down the tunnels, leaving you and Finnick alone.

As the adrenaline leaves your body, you begin to feel the excruciating pain of your wounds. Finnick is calling your name but everything is fuzzy. The inky substance flows from your eyes and ears as the soft tick of a clock pulls you under.

Ok but the urge to kill Gale was real lol

Taglist:

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aequoreus • the tidal wave | finnick o. | CH.0

prologue / part one

the waves crash gently, but was it before or after the tidal wave?

cw: none, not rlly proofread

a/n: this is a bit random but i started daisy jones and the six and i think its lowkey motivating me bc i love sam claflin… anyways no idea what this story is or how it started but like… it’s here!! not the best (or that much it’s a small part) but hope you enjoy :)) part one will be coming soon js gotta get the motivation

wc: 354

the cool breeze blew through your hair as you sat along the edge of the water, small waves washing over to touch the bottom of your feet. in the distance there’s the sounds of waves crashing gently against the jagged rocks that border parts of the water, and it’s almost soothing how peaceful it is.

the sand is warm yet slightly damp beneath you, you had been outside for a few hours and the slight tan you had gained was evident of that. your eyes were shut, taking in the calming noises of the sea and breathing in the salty waters, when a voice called your name. a voice you knew. your eyes open slowly.

“finnick.” you reply back, gaze remaining on the water as his soft footsteps come from behind you.

“i’ve been looking for you.” he said, from his voice you could tell he was standing behind you.

“i’ve been here.” he chuckles lightly before the silence returns, waves crashing off in the distance. it takes a few moments for him to speak up again.

“…we need to talk.” he starts, and you turn your head to meet his gaze. his brows are slightly sewn together as he looks at you, an expression you can’t quite distinguish on his face. 

finnick was easy to read, described as a ‘peacock’, yet in this moment you couldn’t read him. you nod before looking back to the sea, in which finnick moves to sit next to you.

you glance to him from the corner of your eye, watching him. he runs a hand through his bronze hair, staring off to where the sun meets the water as it sets. it had been up high in the sky when you first went out, letting you realize just how long it had been.

as your gaze lingers on finnick, you can really tell how long it’s been; the lines on his forehead, the indents left on his cheeks from all the times he smiled and revealed his dimples, the slight bags under his sea-green eyes. he’s changed so much since you’ve met him, and you have too.

pinky promise | katniss e.

𓆉 katniss everdeen x fem reader

summary: katniss made you a promise before the games, and now that she’s back she’s going to keep it.

cw: fluff!!, little angst, but not much, rain kiss scene bc why not??? sfw!!

a/n: first ever post!! might not be the best as im not that good at writing yet but thats ok. beginning takes place before the games and the end takes place after, time jumps are divided by a dash (-)

wc: 1.1k

your hands brush past the rough bark as you move briskly through the trees, keeping your eyes out. you hear a snap of a twig, causing your movements to halt as you listen closely. a hand places itself in the small of your back, causing you to let out a small gasp as you jump away, turning. you smile once you see who the hand belonged to, walking over.

“gosh, you scared me! you have to stop sneaking up like that.” you grin, katniss smiles back.

“if you’re going to be out in the woods, you have to focus better on your surroundings. who knows whats out here.” she replies and you roll your eyes playfully. she reaches out a hand which you take, interlocking your fingers as they brush against her slightly rough skin.

she leads you further into the woods, stopping at the edge of a lake. you let go of her hand and head to the edge, sitting upon a big rock that rests besides the water. you dip your fingers in, relishing in the cool sensation. katniss watches you for a moment before walking over and sitting besides you. you turn to her with a soft smile and she reaches a hand to brush the hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“you always look so pretty, especially surrounded by nature.” you blush slightly, turning your head to look at the lake. she smiles at your reaction.

“i’m serious, you really do.” she says softly, watching over your features, her thumb gently brushing your cheek as she holds the side of your face in her hand.

you and katniss had been seeing each other in secret for a while, not wanting to risk anything with the chance of getting reaped still present for the next few years of your lives. you had known each other for only a few years, but it felt like forever. you chew gently on the inside of your cheek, thinking about the reaping which was upcoming in the next few days. katniss noticed the change in your face and her brows gently furrowed.

“what is it?” she asks, causing you to turn back to her. “what’s wrong?” you sigh softly.

“it’s just the reapings… what if one of us gets picked?” a slight hint of worry is in your voice. her hand still cups your face gently.

“it’ll be fine, they won’t take you from me. i won’t let them.” you shake your head slightly.

“but what if they take you?” she looks you in the eyes, gaze unwavering.

“i’ll come back to you. then we can be together.” you nod before holding up your pinky.

“promise?” you ask, to which she smiles softly.

“promise.” she confirms as she wraps her pinky around yours.

-

you sat on the couch, blunt nails digging into the armrest as you watched the broadcast of the annual hunger games. katniss had volunteered for her sister primrose who had gotten picked, and many things have happened since then. for starters, the male tribute, a bakers boy named peeta, declared he was in love with katniss. to make matters worse, you had to watch them as they kissed. you barely focused on the games after that, tuning in from time to time to get an idea wether or not katniss had survived, yet the bitter feeling of jealousy washed over you. you were never officially together, only in secret, so you couldn’t really be mad. maybe katniss just found something better and assumed because it was private then there wouldn’t be a point in discussing it. your stomach churned at the thoughts.

-

the day had come of katniss’ return. of course, she was returning with her newly found lover, yet all that mattered was she survived. at least, that’s what you tried to believe. you couldn’t ignore the feeling that washed over you when you saw the two of them get off the train together, holding hands. you couldn’t stop yourself from turning around and going home rather than trying to greet the other. you also couldn’t stop yourself from staying locked in your house, avoiding any possible encounters with katniss. you could only avoid the inevitable for so long, however.

you find yourself back at the lake you were at only a few weeks ago, watching the small tadpoles swimming around the clear water. there’s a light sprinkle of rain, raindrops falling softly onto your face. you don’t sit on the rock as you did before, instead standing off to the side. you feel a presence, causing you to turn around. you were greeted by katniss who offered a small smile.

“guess you started focusing on your surroundings.” she says slightly sarcastic. you chew on the inside of your cheek, turning back towards the lake. katniss’ smile drops as she walks over.

“hey, what’s wrong? you’ve been avoiding me ever since the games…” she starts, reaching her hand towards yours. the metallic taste of blood slightly fills your mouth as you bite harder down. you focus your gaze on the tadpoles.

“i’m surprised you even noticed, considering your new ‘star crossed lover.’” you mutter. she brings a hand to cup your face and turn your head towards her. your gaze finally meets hers, her hands are softer than before.

“he’s not my lover. it was for the games.” she breathes out a small sigh through her nose. “you are my lover, nobody can change that.” she smiles, and you feel your heart quicken.

you had been jealous of the boy, enough to not see the accomplishment katniss had made by winning the games. you offer a soft smile, shaking your head slightly.

“i guess i was jealous.” katniss lets out a small laugh.

“why?” you gently bite on your lip, looking down.

“because he got to kiss you.” katniss is silent for a moment, her thumb brushing your cheek.

“he doesn’t get to kiss me now.” she says quietly, causing you to look at her once again. her eyes are soft and she smiles slightly, and she starts to lean in. your eyes flutter shut as her lips meet yours. her lips are slightly chapped, but you could care less. she had come back to you. 

the rain seems to fall harder as you wrap your arms around her neck. after a while, you both pull away to breathe. you smile at her, fingers brushing through her hair she had chosen to keep down.

“i told you, i promised you.” you nod, giggling slightly. you take a moment to look her over, sensing a new level of maturity she gained from the games. even at sixteen, she seemed older.

“what?” she asks, causing you to focus.

“you’re just so pretty.” you say, and she smiles. you giggle slightly as she places another soft kiss on your lips.

she takes your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers together. you lean your head on her shoulder and look back to the lake, the rain going back to a slight drizzle as it splashes gently on the water.

power and control | finnick odair [final part]

previous part

and as your laughter fills the air that’s free of any darkness, as your two beautiful babies sleep in their rooms soundly without fear of their twelfth birthdays, as finnick feels the wedding band on your ring finger above the engagement band against his face as you try to shove him off of you to cease the tickling – he knows you’re right. this isn’t a sad ending, it isn’t a bitter one to dread. this is a happy ending because he’s with you and he’ll love you until the day he dies.

eight years after the revolution you and finnick find as happy an ending as you could after all you've been through.

tags to be found below.

cw: none.

final part.

the warm sun bathes the tan skin of the man that teeters on top of a wooden chair carefully on the porch. soft thudding fills the air that smells of sea salt, a cool breeze drifts through bronze waves and curls while the distant sound of birds and the crashing ocean on the sand some distance away relaxes the tense muscles in his bones. finnick finally manages to hammer the last nail in and he steps down from the chair carefully before he steps back on the porch with his hands falling to his hips. running a hand through hair that touches his shoulders in curls and waves, his sea-green eyes observe the handmade birthday banner cut into little triangles on a string of ribbon. soft greens and olive tones, he smiles pridefully while trying to ignore the sinking in his stomach that seems forever present as of late.

“god you people and the color green.” a voice offers snidely after a scoff. finnick turns quickly and in front of the sandy beach horizon his eyes land on the dark-haired woman with the dark eyes and in the dark clothes. a big smile spreads across his lips to push dimples into his cheeks. “hey, finnick.” johanna greets before he walks down the steps and laughs in disbelief. finnick embraces the woman he hasn’t seen in a little under a year. while she doesn’t necessarily favor touch, she still wraps her arms around him. finnick’s eyes shut as he holds her tightly for a few moments.

“it’s been a while.” he says with a deep exhale. pulling away, he shakes his head and his arms cross over his chest loosely. “what are you doing here?” finnick asks as she steps back on the sand with her own arms crossing over her chest. she’s thinner than she was before, then again johanna mason has always been thin. but the color is in her skin and her inky hair falls down her back in a braid. her dark eyes flicker behind him to the beautiful and simple, cozy home before she looks at him.

“i wanted to surprise her.” johanna says simply before she walks past him and exhales deeply. “where is she?” she inquires as she allows herself into the home where the door already stands open. finnick chuckles with light amusement at her lack of change in her personality that’s never exactly been warm and friendly. following her into the home the floorboards creak and cry beneath his weight.

johanna looks around with her arms crossing over her chest. “she went into the district so belladonna wouldn’t have her surprise party ruined. nick always wants to be with his mom so he went along too.” finnick explains with warmth in his eyes and the same on his tongue, love laces through every syllable. and a smile spread on his lips as he follows johanna who walks into the kitchen to admire the entire spread of dishes of belladonna’s favorite foods and her favorite kind of sweets for her birthday finnick simply had to heat up and prepare pretty. “she should be back soon. she’ll be elated to see you.” he says with a grin as he leans against the sink and watches johanna admire the decorated sweets. and the streamers and balloons that adorn the home.

on the corner of her lips, a smile twitches. she shakes her head gently and she turns around to lean against the counter with caution to the sweets behind her. beneath warm lighting, she offers him a tilt of her head. “i also came by because katniss told me about what happened.” johanna confesses bluntly with her hands grasping the counter she leans against. finnick’s heart squeezes in his chest and that dread in his stomach churns further. sea-green eyes fall down to the tiling on the kitchen floor. “she’s not really going through with it, is she?” obvious tightness begins to pull johanna’s words, her jaw tensing.

finnick nods gently, his brows twitch and that familiar sting begins to burn at his eyes as he takes in a deep breath to calm himself. “yeah. she is.” johanna scoffs sharply and pinches the bridge of her nose. “she’s set in her decision – you know her so don’t try anything when she comes or you’ll leave.” finnick finishes with a firm voice, his brows furrowing as his gaze looks to johanna who seems to be hardly grasping at the straws of her temper and heartache she no doubt shares with finnick. “trying to talk her out of it is useless.”

“i can’t believe you of all people are letting her give up.” johanna starts with irritation and anger dragging at her tight voice. finnick’s eyes narrow at her and he sits up as his own anger and irritation sparks hotly inside of him. “she can’t just decide this on her own. she has kids, she has people who care about her, an entire district that looks to her for guidance and you’re just going to let her–”

“i’m not letting her do anything!” finnick snaps harshly. johanna’s thin lips thin further as she glares hotly at finnick. his heart thumps in his chest, it aches and it squeezes while that dread burns him from the inside out. inhaling deeply to calm himself down, he shakes his head and he shuts his eyes while rubbing at the crease between his brows with his thumb. “this is her choice to make, johanna. i can’t tell her what to do and–and even if i could i wouldn’t ask her to change her mind.” johanna’s eyes narrow further and finnick meets her eyes. “she’s been happier this past month than she’s been this past year. the whole reason you haven’t been by is because of how she was right?”

and johanna’s hot glare eases up as her gaze falls to her shoes. blinking softly, finnick can see in her features that she knows he’s right. but johanna shakes her head, her eyes blink rapidly as finnick’s do – he knows she’s trying to not let tears gather because he’s trying to not do the same thing. “she shouldn’t just give up like this. there’s new advancements and there’s new medications. i’m going to talk to her and you can’t stop me from doing so.” johanna states coldly as her gaze meets his. finnick’s lips part as more anger courses through him but knocking draws their eyes.

with quickness, finnick shoves a party hat into johanna’s hand before he grabs his own and tugs it on. grasping a balloon’s strings, he walks over to where the door is. when his hand touches the knob, he looks over his shoulder to johanna with a warning glare but she raises her middle finger. somewhat amusing in a party hat if not for the circumstances. finnick decides to simply keep her from you until it’s time to wrap everything up. turning, he opens the door with a big smile.

“there’s my beautiful birthday girl!” finnick exclaims and little belladonna with your eyes and finnick’s hair gasps. she squeals out happily as she leaps into finnick’s arms. a laugh escapes his lips as warmth and pure love flood through him like a warm wave crashing against his heart. “come here, my beautiful boy.” and nick smiles with dimples prodding into his cheeks as he steps forward and embraces his sister and father.

“we saw you this morning, dad.” nick offers slightly pointedly as he embraces him.

the sudden sound of your gasp draws finnick’s eyes towards you. “johanna!” you exclaim with a big smile across your lips as you run over to her. finnick turns as he stands up and shuts the door. as he crouches and begins to tie the balloon around the ring finger of belladonna, his sea-green eyes watch the way johanna’s entire face is stricken with surprise. her hands press against your back as she hugs you and her hand pets your hair gently. when you pull away, he can still see it in her eyes despite the way she smiles. “what are you doing here! it’s been so long!” you exclaim happily and finnick takes notice of the glassiness in her dark eyes and the way johanna swallows hard. she sees it.

she can see the point finnick made just moments prior. your hair isn’t thin and brittle anymore, your spine is no longer visible through your skin. there isn’t a sinking in your cheeks or dark circles around your eyes. expressing happiness and joy doesn’t make you wince and writhe in pain, you attempt to veil it with a smile and shake of your head. you can stand on your own, you can hug her tightly. she can hug you tightly. finnick’s sea-green eyes meet johanna’s as she smiles and answers your question with her voice still tight. when her eyes flicker to finnick’s as you drag her over, she nods subtly and he finds relief.

the atmosphere feels a bit damp between finnick and johanna. but finnick finds himself encapsulating with warmth and love as he watches you with the two beautiful children. the sweet-faced eleven year old boy and the beautiful round-faced seven year old girl. the children are elated to see johanna again, asking her to show them her skills with a knife all over again without the knowledge of why she was forced to learn the tricks. love and warmth hang heavy in the atmosphere and everytime you catch finnick’s eyes or he catches yours, you smile at one another and finnick’s heart skips a beat as if he’s feeling for you for the first time all over again. but his heart squeezes still.

unfortunately the fun seems to make time move much quicker. night falls over the beach soon enough and you stand after ushering the children to wash up before you tuck them in and sing them that lullaby you sing to them every night. a small frown paints your lips as you stand by the door and hold johanna’s hands. “are you sure you can’t stay over?” you ask softly, your brows sewing up as you squeeze her hands gently. johanna smiles and shakes her head but before she can offer her reasoning again you pull her into a tight hug. “come by more. letters aren’t enough.” you grumble in irritation as you hold her tightly. finnick watches as johanna’s brows twitch, lashes flutter as she returns the embrace.

“motherhood makes you nauseating.” johanna offers with a tight laugh. you laugh softly and pull away. “i’ll try to come by more.” she reassures you before she leaves, finnick offering to walk her some of the ways. he plants a soft kiss against your cheek before he leaves and the door shuts behind him. finnick shudders slightly as the cold air of the ocean meets his skin as he walks along the porch beside johanna who remains pensively silent for a few moments. and when she speaks finnick doesn’t look to her, he admires the half moon that glows in a clear sky. “it isn’t fair.” she says with a waver in her voice. and he nods gently as his heart aches and dread burns.

“no, it isn’t.” he responds softly. unable to say more than just that.

johanna scoffs out sharply with her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “peeta and i were in there too. they gave us the same shit – it’s been–it’s been eight years and she–” she chokes up and finnick looks to her as they walk along the sand. tears spill down her cheeks and she turns away as she quickly wipes at them. “fuck – she deserves more than this. if anybody deserves more than this it’s her.” finnick’s brows furrow and he swallows his heart in his throat. “how–without the treatments how long?” johanna almost sounds as if she’s forcing herself to say the words. finnick’s eyes flutter shut as her walking stops on the sand.

“until the end of winter.” he offers. “at the m-most.” he finishes with a waver in his voice.

when his sea-green eyes look to johanna, her eyes look out to the ocean and her nostrils flare with a shaky inhale. she nods as tears brim along her waterline. without a word, she steps away and she begins to quickly walk away with her arms crossing over her chest. finnick watches as she walks away until she disappears down the path back to the district. then he takes a step back and blinks, his own tears spilling down his cheeks as he takes his time walking back to the house. but even then he finds himself unable to go inside. unable to see the family photos on the walls, the wedding photo, the photos of your family with the ones you love.

sitting on the steps leading up to the porch, he looks out to the sea as he toys with the ring around his ring finger. his brows sew up as his heart and mind mull over what he’s only had a year to digest and a month to swallow. there’s an ache in his heart that grows by the day as he experiences your love, as he bathes himself in the happiness and joy of his life of peace and happiness with you. that dread in his stomach burns, it feels as if the day you take your last breath he might just burst. but he knows he can’t, he knows he’ll be unable to because his beautiful girl and boy need him. and he isn’t sure if it makes it better or worse.

“finnick?”

your soft voice of concern draws his eyes back and he watches as you shut the door behind you. “no–no it’s too cold right–” he laughs lightly when you smack him upside the head.

“i’m not an old lady i can handle the cold.” you frown deeply at him as you hold a blanket around your body. he smiles lovingly as you sit down beside him. your eyes flicker to his and you tilt your head gently. “what’s wrong? you know you only ever watch the water when somethings bothering you.” your voice is soft, it’s delicate. and finnick’s gaze flickers between your eyes, it takes only three seconds. three damn seconds. “oh.” you breathe softly as a sew suddenly pulls at your brows.

looking away he nods as his jaw tightens. “i’m sorry…i don’t mean to make all of this harder on you than it is i just…” trailing off, he feels your gentle hand press to his jaw to pull his gaze towards you.

“don’t apologize.” you reach out and your warm hands hold his face. gentle thumbs sweep his cheekbones. “you feel what you need to, don’t worry about me, finnick. you’ve been doing that since we met and every day after. i just…” your expression is so soft, it’s sweet and it’s loving but your eyes begin to gloss over. “i don’t want what you feel to consume you. i–i don’t want you to die with me.” and he flinches when that word leaves your lips, tears sting his eyes and his hands hold your wrists.

“we should have had more time…” he cries softly as his entire insides tear and rip at him. you pull him in and your arms wrap around his neck. his own arms wrap around your waist and he holds you as you hold his head to your chest. “you’ve given me all i could ever want – all i’ve ever wanted was to do the same but now when it matters most, when it matters more than anything i can’t do anything.” finnick breathes against your skin as he hears the soft beating of your heart that does good to calm him down. you shake your head gently.

“you’ve given me all i could ever want, finnick. from the day we spoke in that greenhouse my fate was sealed.” you pull back and his eyes look into yours. tears spill down your cheeks and tears spill down his own. smiling sweetly, sadly, lovingly at one another while you hold each other – you shake your head gently. “i would do everything again if it meant it would end with me being here with you, our two beautiful babies sleeping soundly in their beds without the horrific dread you and i felt when we turned twelve. maybe i’d take advantage and beat you in all those sparring moments you beat me in.” finnick smiles bigger, he let’s out a soft sob tangled with a light laugh.

“you sore loser.” he teases with a grin and you nod with a soft laugh.

comfort entangles and enwraps finnick like a warm blanket, like your hug is touching his soul, mind, and heart. “this is my happy ending because i have you – because panem is free…because we are going to spend the rest of our lives in peace with our beautiful babies.” and you shake your head gently as you wipe at his tears with delicate fingers. “i don’t care how long that may be – not if i have any control over it.” and finnick nods, he wipes your tears and he leans in. the kiss is warm, salty, sweet and loving. when he pulls away, he presses his forehead to yours.

“she was right – motherhood made you nauseat–” and you shove him away by his face as laughter fills the air. but when his eyes flicker back to you, you read his face and you shake your head.

“no–no – finnick!” you squeal out as his hands begin to run up your sides and along your neck, an arm keeps around your waist to keep you in place.

and as your laughter fills the air that’s free of any darkness, as your two beautiful babies sleep in their rooms soundly without fear of their twelfth birthdays, as finnick feels the wedding band on your ring finger above the engagement band against his face as you try to shove him off of you to cease the tickling – he knows you’re right. this isn’t a sad ending, it isn’t a bitter one to dread. this is a happy ending because he’s with you and he’ll love you until the day he dies. even if that’s long after you do.

taglist: @sollum @fatallyfalling @nct3xo @zenoitha @cloudysunset04 @randomgurl2326 @mystargirl-interlude @curryexpress @antoheartit @noisyalmonddreamer @xopearlz @camilalexa93 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @lilifl0wer @avoxrising @astronomiesd @ignore-mes-world @i8kk @ropickle @luvvtrent @iheartspderman @notplutos @heytherellala @coolchick333 @galitzinegirl @thatonegayloser616 @innercreationflower @hinata7346 @midnight2sun @thisismyacc11 @minchitea @ibetyabflikeit @loevinu @idk360 @hauntedclaudio @oh-alaira @gloryekaterina @finickology @cyberskiies @cluecless @prvttyjvrnalist @bubblegum17 @yourdailymemedelivery @kachelleee @bellstwd @lilbanas @bambikitten @kenjigirl @0151iamagayone @auroresce @pebblethestone @rattertatter @lov3do11 @primroseluna @yaesflorist @mushy-mushroom04 @honethatty12

power and control | finnick odair [part eleven]

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"do you trust me?" you ask with a small knit in your brows.

"always." he replies without missing a beat.

the revolution reaches its climax, the conclusion comes for the fate of panem and the revolution. unfortunately, not everyone lives to see the end.

tags to be found below.

cw: child death

part eleven.

the air feels cold as you and katniss manage to blend easily into the crowds of the capitol citizens. there truly are thousands that walk in an orderly fashion. families, individuals, children, everyone follows the words of the masculine voice that offers instructions and assurances of what awaits the refugees. your brows stitch as you keep close to katniss with one hand against the grip of your weapon beneath the jacket. breathing in deeply and out the same, your eyes look to the mansion ahead and all the peacekeeper’s standing guard with their weapons across their bodies. you wet your lips and keep your cool as you glance to katniss who seems to be riddled with almost as much nervousness as you. people move quickly, yet in an orderly fashion.

it feels as if you’re a gazelle stepping into a den of lions.

when katniss gently nudges your arm, your eyes flicker to hers and her eyes continue to dart in one direction in particular. you follow her eyeline and you swallow thickly. a pretty little girl in a neon green jacket with fur and rosy splotches on pale skin stares at katniss with downturned eyes. your heart thumps quicker in your chest but your eyes flicker ahead towards the peacekeeper’s and the thumping stills immediately.

peacekeeper’s tug down the hoods of the refugees and inspect them before letting them pass. immediately, you nudge katniss and turn around with her. but she exhales shakily as two sets of eyes flicker towards peacekeepers walking up to the front through the crowds while looking through hoods and into the faces of the refugees. you turn back around with katniss, her breathing grows labored and yours does too. tightening your grasp around your gun, you approach the peacekeeper’s closer and closer. withdrawing your weapon, screams and shouts suddenly pierce through the air after a loud explosion shoots into the building to the left.

you drop down to the ground with katniss and place a hand over her head. your heart beats quicker and that familiar feeling of adrenaline washes through you hotly – your eyes snap back as gunfire begins to rain from the rebels and peacekeeper’s. another explosion draws your hands over your ears and your head down. when the peacekeepers take cover to reload, you grab katniss by the back of her coat. “let’s move!” you shout loudly and run as you drag her to her feet and to a sprint. you both dodge and weave past the gunfire and explosions that continue to blast at the surrounding buildings.

leaping over one of the guard rails, you hit the ground and pull out your pistol entirely and look around with wide eyes. you grab katniss again and shove her forward roughly, no space or luxury to be gentle. she runs ahead of you and leaps over another barrier. you follow as you both run and dodge not just people but the explosives and gunfire. your heart pounds in your chest as you raise your weapon and fire at a peacekeeper that attempts to raise his weapon. he hits the ground and you snatch his gun off of him while pushing your pistol into its holster on your hip. the white gun is heavy in your hand.

crowds gather at the gates that gate off the mansion. you push katniss forward, shoving away people and shoving past the capitol citizens who yell and shout. a robotic monotonous voice over the loud speakers orders the capitol citizens to hand their children over to the peacekeeper’s first. when katniss shoves your side, you turn to her and where she points at an armored truck. following close, shoving away those around, katniss climbs up first in her big teal coat. you follow with the weapon slung across your back.

your wide eyes look out to the large masses. children wail and cry as their parents mercifully toss them to the peacekeepers. a break pushes through your heart and dread spills into your stomach as you watch the way the peacekeepers roughly rip children away from their parents. looking to katniss, you can sense she feels the same sympathy and shock. you pant softly, your wide eyes flickering around in search of an opening but they soon rise up to the sky at the sound of an aircraft whirring overhead. it comes to a slow and your brows knit as gifts rain down, the same kinds that would fall in the arena from sponsors. as the children reach out, your eyes narrow – something bad sinks deeper into you.

and the moment one of the gifts touches a hand – dozens of bombs set off.

ash and soot blows across your face as you’re tossed off the armored truck and hit the ground hard. all the air knocks out of your lungs and loud ringing splits across your skull as you gasp for air and your wide eyes screw shut as ash and debris rain down from the explosions. gasping in gulps of air, you slowly push yourself up into a sitting position. noises clear through your ears as the ringing quiets. screams. all you can hear are the screams of anguish as your wide eyes take in the sight of the site. standing up slowly, your bottom lip trembles and your brows knit together. katniss isn’t in your mind as you walk forward, you begin to run to help the medics. but you’re shot back when another explosion goes off.

your brows twitch as you hit the ground and a searing hot pain shoots through your skull that cracks against the concrete. that loud ringing feels as though it’s split the bone of your skull in half as you struggle to breathe as your fingers twitch, unable to lift your limbs to grasp at your throat that feels as if it’s been caught by a rope. as your eyelids grow heavy and your vision tunnels in on flames and thick black smoke. panting softly, you try to keep yourself awake but you can’t. and as your fingers go limp, so does your body and you fall unconscious. but you don’t realize it, you don’t realize darkness has taken you.

not until your eyes begin to dart beneath your eyelids. inhaling softly, your brows twitch and your senses grasp onto your surroundings. inhaling, you can smell the scent of cleaning products and the scents of disinfectant. beneath your skin and fingertips you can feel the soft cushion of a bed and blanket. the soft sound of mechanical whirring and footsteps fills your ears. a bitter taste coats your dry mouth. and as your eyes flutter open, you look around and your brows sew tightly as you take notice of the room illuminated in warm yellow lights dim and not so harmful for your eyes that focus in. pushing yourself off the bed, you grunt and groan in pain while grasping your side.

“wait no–no please lie back down for me.” a medic gently pushes you back down and you oblige with a soft grunt. there’s a hot throbbing pain in your skull and something agonizing in the rest of your body. especially at your back and ribs. your gaze looks to the medic who nods over to another across the bed from her. “tell them she’s awake.” she orders and the male medic nods. your eyes look down at the needle in the back of your hand and the small wiring coiling your index finger. “how are you feeling?” the medic asks in a soft voice as she looks down at you, your brows knit slowly and you wet your lips.

“my mouth is dry.” you clear the rasp from your throat. “my ribs and back feel like shit but m-my head…i feel like my brain is spilling out of my ear.” your hand gently rises up and rubs at your forehead. you feel bandages beneath your fingers, brushing at your hair, you look around the room with a soft frown as confusion muddles a foggy head as the medic hums. “what…” the fog slowly clears and you remember what happened before you slipped into unconsciousness, gasping softly and forcing yourself up. you shake your head. “katniss – where–where’s–” the medic gently reaches out and holds your shoulder.

“you’re in a medical unit run by the rebels – you’ve been out for three weeks. we’re in the capitol, katniss is safe…it’s over.” your brows sew up as her words sink into your mind. blinking back rapidly, you gently shake your head and she nods softly as she takes the seat on the empty space beside your legs. “after–” her voice wavers slightly and she shifts her jaw with a momentary glance elsewhere. then her eyes meet yours. “after the bombing of the capitol children to protect the mansion – it wasn’t a debate anymore. snow was captured and his fate is to be decided in two weeks as everyone is aided and things continue to settle.” your heart thumps rapidly in your chest and you blink as tears roll down your cheeks. you can’t believe it, you can’t believe a word she says.

it feels as though you’re in a sick and twisted dream where the revolution truly succeeded and the war is finally over. everything is finally over from the games to the consequences to follow as a victor to president snow’s reign on all of panem. the door to the medical unit with a few more empty beds around the room opens and your wide eyes meet those sea-green ones. finnick runs over and he embraces you immediately. your arms wrap around his neck as he pants heavily against the inside of your neck while his arms encase your waist. you grasp the shirt he wears and shake your head as wide eyes look to johanna. she looks so much better. physically at least.

“i-is it true…? is–is it over?” you dare to ask, your voice cracking and breaking. johanna nods gently and finnick nods rapidly.

“it’s over.” he breathes out as he pulls back and holds your face. your brows sew up as something indescribable washes over you while he presses his lips to yours firmly. you return the kiss as your hands rest on either side of his neck. once more, the kiss is deep – it’s electric and pouring with love and relief and a new hope for a future that exists on the horizon. when he pulls away, you let out an incredulous laugh laced with bright joy. finnick sniffles and nods as his thumbs sweep your tears. “i’ll be right back, i promise. i’ll get you something to drink and eat.” and you reluctantly let him leave. the medic seems to have left the room, no doubt to allow you privacy for greetings.

slowly, johanna walks over and she shakes her head. “you’re an idiot, you know?” she offers pointedly as she takes a seat on the space of bed beside your thighs. you smile big at her as the corners of her lips twitch, she turns away and looks down at her hands where she’s chewed around her nails and at her nails raw. “i can’t believe you loaded your son off on me so you could go play hero.” johanna exhales deeply as she shakes her head. “he’s in the mansion with hemlock. they gave all of us survivors and helpers our own room in that shithole.” she scoffs. your smile and expression softens, reaching out and taking her hands in yours, she turns with a few soft blinks and meets your eyes.

“thank you.” you say sweetly. then you smile and squeeze her hands gently, interlacing your fingers and leaning towards her “i missed you. it was hard to sleep without you in the same room as me.” johanna blinks rapidly as her eyes flicker between yours. and you take notice of the way tears begin to brim on her waterline, you lean in close and press your forehead to hers. she exhales a soft shuddery gasp and your eyes flutter shut. “i’m so happy you’re still alive and here…i’m glad you were one of the first people i woke up to.”

johanna trembles as her forehead rests against yours. you feel her thumb brushing the band around your ring finger. “yeah.” her voice is tight. “i’m actually glad you’re alive too.” and before your eyes can see the tears that stain her fair skin, you find her arms around your neck. you exhale softly as more tears roll down your cheeks and your arms hug her thin waist. she cries softly as she holds you tightly. “really fucking glad…” she breathes against your neck. and you hug her tighter, your heart warm and everything feeling as though it truly is going to be okay.

and for once – there isn’t a little voice in the back of your head wondering when it’s going to all go wrong.

two weeks and some days pass by slowly. you go through rehabilitation and multiple tests to assure you’re fine and show no signs of anything sour or bitter. finnick and johanna visit you every day, switching off to take care of nick or arriving together with hemlock watching over the beautiful boy. katniss doesn’t stop by but you don’t hold her to any fault, not when you discover the news of her sister.

and eventually you’re allowed to leave, only scars remain external and internal but no pain. though the scars feel present, very present. especially when you first find yourself in familiar corridors and halls that you recognize the touch of beneath your feet. but you do manage.

then you find yourself getting ready for bed the day before a meeting with president coin and the remaining survivors of the victors of the games to decide not just snow’s fate but something else that is of the utmost urgency – so said the call to you while you fed your beautiful baby boy. nick sleeps soundly with hemlock – your night terrors and nightmares not faltering in the slightest despite the huge shift in circumstances. it makes you sad and it breaks your heart but you know it’s for the best, finnick refused to leave you. he refused to sleep anywhere without you and you gave in knowing there was no changing his mind, despite the night terrors and nightmares, he still remains.

“i’m nervous about tomorrow.” you confess as you wrap your hair in a silk scarf. finnick hums from where he already lays in bed, his shirt off and body beneath the blankets. you shake your head gently as you look into your own reflection and wet your lips. “i know katniss will find a way to kill snow – that’s not what i’m worried about…whatever coin wants to announce to us is going to piss me off. i can feel it. everything out of her mouth is so…”

“condescending?” finnick finishes the word your mind searched for. you nod with a momentary laugh. sitting up as you turn and walk over to the bed, the room illuminated by a warm lamp casting warmth yellowish light, finnick shakes his head. “whatever it is – we’ll be ready for it. after everything we’ve been through, i doubt she could throw something we won’t be ready for.” absorbing his words, you nod gently and crawl beneath the blankets with him. finnick lies down on his side to face you, you do the same then you hold his face and exhale deeply.

“thank you.” your eyes flicker between those pretty, sparkling sea-green ones. “i love you.”

“i love you.” finnick offers. you lean in and your lips press against his. something you haven’t been able to feel comfortably in a long time suddenly flutters inside of your stomach. your brows twitch and you shift as your other hand grasps the side of his face. pushing your body closer to his, your legs push beneath the blankets to tangle with his. the kiss deepens, your body warming as your tongue sweeps across his. finnick suddenly pulls back, he exhales deeply and you do the same as your eyes flutter open to meet his. “are you sure?” he pants softly after a few moments of silence only interrupted by breathing.

and you nod without hesitation. “i’m sure…is this okay with you?” you ask softly as your hands slip down to rest against his chest. finnick begins to breathe heavily, nodding gently as you push your leg over to straddle his lap. your skin grows hot and your heart thumps loudly in your ears as your hands push up his chest to hold his face. his hands grab your hips gently as he leans up to meet your lips again.

every touch he offers is soft and careful. soft reassurances leave his lips and questions of your well-being fill the air as he takes care of you and you feel one another in a way you haven’t in years. there’s a lot of damage in you, on you, around you – but in finnick’s arms you’re okay. everything’s okay.

the next morning comes too soon. you find a knot in your stomach at the looming meeting coming into the timeframe. there’s that feeling of dread in the pits of your stomach, your heart thumps softly and slowly as you spend the morning with your beautiful baby boy. you kiss his head and find gratitude as you always do to be with him, to have him. but you have to say bye. leaving nick with katniss’s mother within one of the rooms and expressing immense gratitude, you leave with the escort of some of the newly enlisted guards you don’t necessarily feel easy around. but you find yourself calmer, at much more ease when you’re with both johanna and finnick.

you enter a conference room you recognize all too well. your brows twitch as your eyes drag around the room to the remaining victors and hemlock sitting on one side of president coin. “ah, please sit. this is everyone, yes?” president coin says with a gentle gesture towards the seating. a murmur of acknowledgement and response spill in the air, finnick places a gentle hand on the small of your back as you make your way over to a seat beside katniss. there’s a discomfort in your body as you sit beside finnick and johanna sits next to president coin with a deep exhale. your eyes glance to peeta, you smile at him with a nod and he turns away after he nods.

president coin folds her hands on the table. “i have invited you all here for several reasons but first i have an announcement. i have taken the burden and the honor of declaring myself interim president of panem.” she announces calmly, smoothly. you wet your lips and you look to finnick who seems just as taken back by the announcement. you look to president coin as a scoff splits through the air. all eyes flicker to haymitch abernathy.

“interim?” he shakes his head. “exactly how long is that interim?” haymitch questions suspiciously, not doing a thing to hide his reserves.

“we have no way of knowing for certain.” she inhales deeply. “but it’s clear that the people are far too emotional right now to make an emotional decision. we’ll plan an election when the time is right.” your brows furrow and your lips part but you feel finnick’s hand gently place on your knee. you look at him and his brows twitch as he shakes his head stiffly. trusting him, you keep your mouth shut and look back to coin. “but i have called you here for a far more important vote. a symbolic vote. this afternoon we will execute snow. hundreds of his accomplices also await their deaths.” you breathe out in relief, pressing your forehead against finnick’s shoulder. “capitol officials, peacekeepers, torturers, gamemakers. but the danger is once we begin the rebels will not stop calling for retribution.”

your eyes flicker to coin and your words leave before finnick can stop you, before you can stop you. “retribution?” you ask, eyes instinctively flickering over to you.

president coin nods. “a thirst for blood is a difficult urge to satisfy. so i offer an alternative plan. a majority four may approve it, no one may abstain.” her eyes sweep along the table. “the proposal is this – in lieu of these barbaric executions we hold a symbolic hunger games.” and in this instant you feel your heart fall into the acid of your stomach.

johanna begins to laugh as shock slams onto the surface of everyone in the room. she shakes her head and her eyes drag to president coin. “you want to have another hunger games with the capitol’s children?” she grins incredulously at the woman.

peeta furrows his brows and shakes his head. “you’re joking.” he says flatly.

“not in the slightest.” president coin smiles in a plastic manner.

haymitch scoffs as he sits forward. “was this plutarch’s idea?”

and she meets his eyes. “it was all mine.” she shakes her head gently. “it balances the need for revenge with the least loss of human life. you may cast your votes.”

“well i think it’s more than fair.” your eyes snap to johanna who crosses her arms over her chest. she snorts as her gaze sweeps around the table yet doesn’t meet you. “snow’s got a granddaughter – i say yes.” you blink rapidly.

“i agree. i also say yes.” president coin says.

“no.” peeta says and shakes his head. “this–this is ridiculous.”

“we need to stop viewing each other as enemies.” beete says with a nod. “i vote no.”

“i vote no too.” finnick adds as he shakes his head. “we’ve all fought for this war to be over for it to be over. if we do these games tensions will only build.” your eyes admire finnick for just a moment. “children shouldn’t pay for the wrongs of adults.”

“i vote yes.” katniss says. your eyes widen slightly and your eyes look around to those who seem just as taken back before they fall to her. “as long as i get to kill snow.” katniss firmly states.

president coin smiles as your heart thumps in your chest. “i expected nothing less for you.” and she turns her gaze to the mentor beside katniss. “haymitch?”

his eyes look to katniss and his expression turns hard. katniss meets his gaze and haymitch slowly turns away. “i’m with the mockingjay.”

“well i’m not.” hemlock states plainly as he leans back with a deep exhale. “i didn’t give up everything just for panem to fall back into a blood-filled cesspool.”

and all eyes fall to you as you blink softly with confusion and curiosity. your gaze falls to katniss as haymitch’s had fallen to her. it’s as if you’re silently asking her what she’s doing – is it truly because of prim? does she know something you don’t? her pretty almond eyes meet yours and you wet your lips as you turn to face president coin.

“i get to fulfill the execution of egeria. she’s the one who wrote the scripts for peeta and i while we were in the capitol and she oversaw most of our torture sessions not within the cell.” finnick’s eyes snap to you as president coin seems to think for a moment before she nods. “then i vote yes.” president coin smiles and she nods gently.

“then majority carries the vote.”

leaving the conference room with quick steps, you inhale deeply and exhale just the same before you feel finnick’s hand grab your elbow. you turn around and look up into his sea-green eyes. “what the hell was that?” finnick asks softly as you pull your arm away. your brows twitch as your eyes flicker to katniss who leaves the room with her head down. when your eyes flicker back to finnick, you nod gently.

“there’s a reason she said yes and there’s a reason her mentor agreed.” you whisper softly as you rest your hands on his chest. “do you trust me?” you ask with a small knit in your brow.

“always.” he replies without missing a beat.

you nod gently. “then know i agreed with her because i trust her.”

finnick’s eyes search yours for a few moments before he wets his lips and offers a nod. “okay.” leaning down, he plants a kiss against your cheek. “i trust you.”

the sun shines through gloomy clouds. your eyes sweep around as a drum rhythm beats through the air of the arena you recall riding through on two different occasions. all seats and the surrounding areas are filled with onlookers from the rebellion and capitol. president coin stands tall where president snow once stood and it makes you feel sick. all eyes watch the mockingjay in black as she walks down closer towards the pillar president snow is confined to. you blink softly as you feel finnick’s hand gently press against the space between your shoulder blades. tensions feel thick, suffocating almost.

“welcome!” president coins voice carries across the arena. “to the new panem! today on the avenue of the tributes all of panem – a free panem – will watch more than a mere spectacle. we are gathered to witness a historic moment of justice. today the greatest friend to the revolution will fire the shot to end all wars. may her arrow signify the end of tyranny and the beginning of a new era. mockingjay may your aim be as true as your heart is pure.” your eyes burn into the showwoman and your brows furrow as you look to katniss as she pulls an arrow before tugging it at her bow with her aim at snow.

but the moment she pushes her aim upwards, you exhale in relief you didn’t know you harbored when the arrow pierces president coins chest and pushes into her heart. she hits the ground as exclamations ring out and the loud sound of footsteps echo the sound of snow’s laughter. “we have to get out of here.” finnick says quickly as he grabs your bicep and pulls you. but as he drags you away, you reach into your waistband beneath your coat.

“johanna!” you shout and her eyes look to you. the moment her eyes meet yours you toss the weapon and she catches it with surprise on her face. “do it!” you shout with a big smile before finnick tugs you quicker and you turn to keep the pace with him and not trip over your footing. a loud gunshot rings through the arena and the sound of chaos and anger shifts to the uproar of cheers and applause as you run with finnick to avoid the crowds and chaos.

finnick holds your hand tightly, your eyes look up as the sun peeks through the clouds and you don’t realize you’re crying until your hands touch your cheek and feel the wet tears.

you’re not sure why you’re crying. because you feel safe. for the first time since you were eight years old - you feel safe, entirely. from the roots of your hair to the soles of your feet and marrow in your bones. and as your eyes look to finnick, the sun bathing his tan skin, you stop running for just a second and pull him into a kiss that hurts. the first kiss for the beginning of your lives.

taglist: @sollum @fatallyfalling @nct3xo @zenoitha @cloudysunset04 @randomgurl2326 @mystargirl-interlude @curryexpress @antoheartit @noisyalmonddreamer @xopearlz @camilalexa93 @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @lilifl0wer @avoxrising @astronomiesd @ignore-mes-world @i8kk @ropickle @luvvtrent @iheartspderman @notplutos @heytherellala @coolchick333 @galitzinegirl @thatonegayloser616 @innercreationflower @hinata7346 @midnight2sun @thisismyacc11 @minchitea @ibetyabflikeit @loevinu @idk360 @hauntedclaudio @oh-alaira @gloryekaterina @finickology @cyberskiies @cluecless @prvttyjvrnalist @bubblegum17 @yourdailymemedelivery @kachelleee @bellstwd @lilbanas @bambikitten @kenjigirl @0151iamagayone @auroresce @pebblethestone @rattertatter @lov3do11 @primroseluna @yaesflorist @mushy-mushroom04 @honethatty12 @merromimo

power and control | finnick odair [part ten]

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for a moment you pause as you cut a piece of the gauze. and you sigh softly. “i could fly if someone told me doing it would save the people i love.” you offer softly as you tape down the gauze. “i didn’t care what they did to me. what i cared about was what they could do to finnick, to our son – even to peeta and johanna. i would have taken a bullet to the head if it didn’t mean the blood would splatter on them.” you smile softly as you step back.

the unit looses many men in the tunnels, and once inside of a little boutique you find the taste of the end on your tongue. you and finnick hope you'll both make it long enough to savor it.

tags to be found below.

cw: none!

part ten.

katniss leads the way through the tunnels with the holo in front of her. warm yellow lights bathe the atmosphere that smells faintly of wet rag. the only sounds to fill the tunnel are the soft beeps of the holo and the footsteps of the moving unit. but when the ground beneath your shoes begins to vibrate and the sound of a train pushing fills the air, katniss is quick to run towards the wall opposite where the train runs through. the rest of you follow her and your backs press to the wall just as the train speeds past. your heart thumps softly in your chest as katniss pushes off the wall and peeks around the corner with the holo. she shakes her head and turns back to the unit that eases up slightly. “we’re too exposed here.” she speaks what everyone else must be thinking, you included. for a few moments there’s a silence, but at the direction of the avox draws all of you to follow him quickly.

footsteps hit the ground hard as you rush to follow his movements. and as the avox leads the unit down a ladder deeper to the underground, the smell of black mold and wet rag grows stronger. you scrunch your nose in distaste as you look around the barren underground environment with puddles of liquid along the concrete ground. katniss tugs out the holo and she holds it forward, slowly stepping along the ground as she looks around. “looks clear…” she mutters as the holo beeps with safe periodic beeps. you follow closely but something akin to dread spills down into your stomach as your eyes flicker around. caution flies up as your eyes dart quicker around.

walking along the wet ground, you feel finnick behind you and your eyes look to the back of the avox’s head. entering a corridor far more narrow and wet, you feel yourself tugged down before you can even react to the hissing of steam that blows out and into the corridor. covering your head and keeping it down, your brows knit as it lasts all but four seconds. when it stops, your eyes look up slowly and around. “is everyone okay?” jackson calls. everyone offers a response of acknowledgement, your eyes flicker to finnick behind you who nods gently with brows sewn up. you nod in return and the unit continues moving.

solid ground soon becomes water that rises steadily. you keep your calm and composure as you wade through foggy waters that touch above your breasts. you can feel the water seeping through your clothes and into the bag you carry on your back. hoping the guns you have won’t be affected, you balance your breathing with knitted brows. there’s the same scent of black mold, but the scent of ammonia wafts into your senses the further you go in the water. you frown as that feeling in the pit of your stomach worsens slightly. you grasp your flashlight tigher as you walk through the dark tunnel.

the water eases down the further the unit walks. eventually it only hits your knees, you shudder as a draft blows across your clothes. reaching a triangular tunnel where the ceiling meets at a point above you, everyone begins to slow down just in time for lieutenant jackson’s words. “all right, everybody. we’ll stop here for a bit and get some rest, yeah?” she speaks loudly to be heard through the dark and wet atmosphere. you sigh in slight relief as you feel finnick step beside you and gently place a hand on your back. “i’ll take first watch.” she calls as the group walks up some steps into a tunnel that remains wet only at the soles of your shoes.

that yellow light bathes the atmosphere again. clicking off your flashlight, you tuck it into the spot on your belt. “over here.” finnick says as he guides you towards a spot against the railing within the room. you smile at him softly as your eyelids grow heavy, sitting down beside him and leaning your head on his shoulder. “go to sleep…you need it.” finnick offers softly as he plants a gentle kiss against your head. and you don’t argue with him, holding onto his arm and pressing your cheek against his shoulder your eyes flutter shut. sleep tosses a blanket over you immediately. the sound of water dripping and finnick’s breathing lulling you to sleep.

no nightmares greet you. but you feel you’re awoken too soon when finnick gently shakes your arm. you sit up with a sharp inhale and your wide eyes look at finnick who immediately pulls you to your feet. your eyes look down to where his concerned gaze drifts to and your sleepiness evaporates from your body in an instant. katniss slowly stands, slowly walking into the dark cavern the unit walked in from. and that dread slams into you like a truck, it feels like the moment your gaze looked to that fog in the arena. as hissing and heavy breathing echoes through the corridor – your eyes widen and you look to peeta as a memory in the capitol burns into your mind.

“mutts – let’s go! we have to go!” you say quickly as you look around to those that quickly get up and rush over to the dark opening katniss stands in.

your heart thumps in your chest as you follow with finnick in front of you. gale steps in front of katniss as she asks the avox what the quickest way out of the tunnel is – he shoots a sparkling flame through the tunnel too dark to see down. water sloshes and moves as you all move forward with the sounds of the mutts echoing in the tunnel. your heart hammers and your blood feels cold inside of your veins where adrenaline begins to buzz. you hold your flashlight out as gale fires flames down corridors to illuminate the sights. your eyes look up and down and around as the unit trails through. shaky breaths leave your lips when the unit stops at a short and narrow opening.

the avox crawls through first, you watch with wide eyes as he seems to scout the area. only when he comes back into sight do you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. giving the greenlight, gale is the first to crawl through the opening while lieutenant jackson stays back as watch. each soldier files through the opening until the only one left is jackson. she scouts for extra measure, you watch as she turns away and looks to the narrowing opening. and when she turns, she’s assaulted by the sickly, hideous human-like creatures far from what their physique gives them to be. katniss fires a red tipped arrow and an explosion sends her onto her back but finnick grabs you by your bag and tugs you.

“go! go! go!” the corporal shouts through the tunnel and you turn. running down the tunnel at the lead of the avox all flashlights move sporadically with no particular aim.

your feet hit the water hard as you run behind finnick and in front of katniss and gale. the avox leads directly in front of you until a loud scream ripped from his brother slices through the air. your eyes widen and you turn around to see him tackled by a hoard of mutts. you turn quickly and shake your head, shoving and pushing him away from running for his brother or the filmers that are tossed back by one of katniss’s explosive arrows. “no! keep running! go!” you shout and he turns with a silent sob and continues running as finnick and gale pull katniss. there’s hordes of mutts coming down each and every tunnel until you finally reach a ladder the avox points to.

another explosion hits the tunnel as katniss fires arrow after arrow but they don’t keep all at bay. you find yourself tackled to the water, soaking in the cold and foggy waters you snatch a blade off your thigh and stab into the head of the mutt repeatedly until you rise and gasp for air. your hands grasp the weapon slung across your chest as more run after you, gunshots ring out as they hit the water and sink in. you drop the weapon once the bullets are out and cressida rushes in to shoot the others that run at you. grabbing your bag she shoves you towards the railings.

“go! go! go!” she shouts and you hop onto the surface of the grates. running towards the ladder that katniss rushes finnick up. “soldier!” cressida shouts and you turn with your pistol in hand and fire off at three of the mutts that run at you. their bodies hit the grates and you turn, rushing up the ladder and catching finnick’s hand as he pulls you up and through.

your wide eyes look down at cressida who rushes up the ladder and you turn to katniss. “the holo!” you shout as you turn and drag cressida up. katniss’s eyes widen and she tugs it out, repeating the words into the holo to initiate self-destruction. you both run away with the survivors of the unit as an explosion sounds out behind you. light nearly blinds you as your wide eyes look ahead to the glass panes. “peacekeeper’s!” you shout just a second before the glass starts to shatter with loud gunshots ringing out. each of you seperate and run to take cover. you back press to an orange-tiled pillar and you cover your head as shots fire. another explosion as you run with the group and fire off your weapon at the peacekeeper’s.

but your eyes widen when you turn back and take notice of one of the soldiers falling into nothing but pixels when a bright light beams down from the fixtures. your eyes look to cressida whose face falls with pure grief and you grab her arm, dragging her at the instruction of gale to keep running. narrowly avoiding the beams of light that fall at random, your eyes widen as the ground begins to crack and explode upwards – rolling down to ensnare any of you. jumping you hit the floor and run until you hear the sound of katniss calling peeta. turning with heavy breathing, hot adrenaline pumping a numbness through your cold body, your eyes widen to see peeta on the ground holding his head.

he’s losing himself again. but the moment katniss presses her lips to his, he comes to. you find relief but only momentarily before you all begin to run again. “i know where we are!” cressida shouts as she runs ahead, she looks back. “i know a place! up those stairs!” she instructs and you follow with heavy breaths and your pistol in hand. your feet touch the surface of the above ground and your wide eyes look around at the night atmosphere. but your eyes widen to see finnick’s face, wanted. each of your faces paint screens – wanted for treason. “keep going!” cressida shouts.

she leads you all to a cute boutique before she pounds on the door, your wide eyes look around and you keep your pistol high. cressida continues to bang on the door until it opens and she pushes her way in. you follow in and pull in finnick, the moment the door shuts his arms wrap around you and he holds the back of your head close to him. you breathe heavily, panting as your hands hold onto him and the cold numbness begins to fade away as you feel him. you pull away with wide eyes, your eyes dart between his. “are you okay? are you hurt?” you pant heavily as his hands hold your face.

his tan skin is flushed a bright red, droplets hang off some curly strands of his wet bronze hair. water rolls down his nose and drips off his jaw. “i’m fine – are you okay? did anything–” his eyes burn with worry and concern, his brows sewing up as he looks you over. you shake your head gently and wet your lips.

“i’m okay. we’re okay..” you breathe as you find pure relief washing through you. it seems the same goes for him, he relaxes instantly and you turn around. you blink softly as your eyes fall to a woman you know all too well, and as the adrenaline settles down in you – you look around the boutique you recognize in an instant. a big smile spreads on your face as you walk over to the tall and slender woman that resembles a tiger with ink permanently staining her face and an orange fur lining her brown robe with a neon green lining. “tigris…” you call her and her eyes look to you, her eyes widen in recognition.

“you know her?” cressida asks, out of breath. you nod as you look to cressida, you wonder how she knows her. “tigris do you remember me?” tigris looks to her. “i’m with plutarch’s underground and we need your help.” tigris stares at cressida for just a few moments before she looks at you.

“clear!” gale shouts distantly.

you shake your head gently. “please help us…”

and she looks around at what’s left of the unit before she nods and she walks past all of you. the tall woman leads the unit to a corner where she pulls back a rug to reveal a secret door. you can remember your time spent with the woman, time spent with someone president snow practically tossed to the side like trash. long talks with her, in the capitol she might have been your only friend. as much as someone like past you could have had a friend. she crouches down and lifts the door to reveal steps down into a room illuminated by dim light.

katniss nods to her. “i know you. tigris – you used to be a stylist in the games.” she observes while still catching her breath.

slowly, she pushes down the hood of her robe. “until snow decided i wasn’t pretty enough anymore.” your heart aches and your brows twitch.

there’s a few breaths. then katniss meets her gaze again. “i’m here to kill him.” all tigris does is smile.

eventually the unit makes their way down into the basement of the boutique but you pause after urging finnick to enter in front of you. you smile at tigris and your eyes hold her’s, but you don’t have any words yet. so, you nod gently and you turn away as you walk down into the basement you’ve been in before. you look to finnick as he holds out his hands to help you the rest of the way down. and the door shuts above you before it clicks locked. you glance up before your eyes follow the sound of sobbing from the avox. sympathy washes through you as you feel finnick take a hold of your hand.

meeting his gaze, he kisses the scar across your knuckles. it lasts for a while. he’s as grateful for you to be alive as you are for him to be alive.

“gale’s gonna need stitches.” cressida speaks from across the room.

then suddenly katniss’s voice breaks the silence only worn by the avox’s sobbing. “i made it up.” her voice rasps. “all of it. there is no special mission from coin – there’s only my plan.” she confesses and your brows sew together as you look to her face stricken with grief and guilt. “everyone that’s dead is dead because of me – i–” her voice shakes. “i lied.”

“we all knew.” finnick admits and you turn to him. he looks down at you and he nods gently. “i know you. and it wasn’t hard for everyone else to figure it out.” he finishes as his gaze flickers to katniss. “every single one of us knew.”

“all of us trusted boggs and he clearly wanted you to go on.” cressida says softly as she presses a cloth to gale’s wound on his back.

katniss blinks softly, tears brim on her waterline. “i never meant for this to happen. i failed i–” she swallows thickly. “i killed all of them…i’m sorry, pollux. i-i’m so sorry about...” her breaths and her voice shakes and quivers.

“glimmer.” peeta suddenly speaks and your eyes flicker to him. “marvel, clove, wiress, mags, rue…what do all those deaths mean?” your brows sew together as finnick’s hand tightens in yours. “they mean that our lives weren’t ours. there was no real life because we didn’t have any choice. our lives belong to snow and our deaths do too.” you inhale shakily and your gaze flickers from the soldier in the shadows to press your forehead to finnick’s shoulder. his hand gently holds the side of your head. “but if you kill him katniss. if you end all of this – all those deaths…they mean something. because they chose this, they chose you.”

and something shifts in katniss. you find hope, hope that they’ll be as they once were despite the knowledge that none of you ever will be. but does it matter as long as they love each other? you look to cressida aiding gale with a cloth and you sniffle as you pull from finnick after kissing his wet shoulder. “i can stitch him up.” you tug the bag off your back soaked in water, heavier than it was before. “i have a first aid kit.”

you finish the stitching on his back swiftly. the wound wasn’t to be concerned about but it was bad enough that it took some time, enough time for the other soldiers to find themselves asleep in various positions and places within the basement. after the final knot is tied on the third slash, you speak softly to a wincing gale. “i just need to apply the bandages now.” you say to him. he nods and exhales deeply. “after this you should get some rest.”

“i don’t think that’s possible.” he offers, his voice rasping. there’s a momentary lull as you unwrap the white bandages. then gale speaks again. “you know tigris from your time in the capitol right?”

you hum softly. “i didn’t like the clothes the other stylists made but i wasn’t allowed to buy clothes that were not perfectly and personally styled for me. being married to such a high status man after all.” you smile softly as you reminisce. “i met tigris while i was exploring. we hit it off right away and we became friends. i think if she wasn’t here to listen to my rants i might have been executed for treason.” you laugh lightly.

“how did you do it?” he asks softer. “how did you pretend so well in the capitol and–in those interviews while you were in the capitol? i didn’t trust you or peeta to be honest. especially not you – not after those interviews and your past.”

for a moment you pause as you cut a piece of the gauze. and you sigh softly. “i could fly if someone told me doing it would save the people i love.” you offer softly as you tape down the gauze. “i didn’t care what they did to me. what i cared about was what they could do to finnick, to our son – even to peeta and johanna. i would have taken a bullet to the head if it didn’t mean the blood would splatter on them.” you smile softly as you step back.

“what you did for district thirteen…” he begins and he slowly turns to face you. “thank you. i can’t imagine what happened for that act of selflessness.” and your heart cooled. you smile at him sadly and shook your head.

“no. you can’t.” and you smile, your eyes flicker back to where finnick lays. “but if it meant protecting him, i’d take it all again.” and your eyes suddenly snap up at the sound of bombs falling. finnick gasps your name and you turn, he places a hand over his heart when his eyes meet yours. “it’s okay.” you reassure him softly as you walk over.

“mortor shells.” gale observes as he stands with a grunt. “not ours so peacekeepers must be shelling the rebels outside of the city.” everyone else has awoken.

“that’s not outside of the city.” cressida says with her gaze looking upwards.

more time passes, you sit with finnick’s head in your lap – gently petting his damp hair and awaiting gale’s return from upstairs. when you hear his footsteps, your eyes flicker towards the steps. “suns coming up. there’s some small-arms fire. could be paylor, maybe lyme.” he shares as he walks further in. finnick’s eyes flutter open as he looks to gale, he grabs your hand and kisses your palm before sitting up entirely with a soft grunt. “rebels must be closing in.”

“this is it then.” you say. and all eyes turn towards a holograph that suddenly flickers with that familiar chime. “son of a bitch…” you mutter. another mandatory viewing for the city of panem. of course president snow’s face comes to view. and you find your heart sinking in recognition of the room.

“to all capitol citizens more than a half mile outside of the city circle i am announcing a mandatory evacuation.” he begins. “come to the mansion. i am promising you shelter and sanctuary. all refugees come to my home. there you will be provided with food, medicine, safety for your children, and you will have my solemn oath to protect you until my dying breath.”

“wish he’d hurry up with that last part.” cressida says pointedly. you grin in slight amusement, for just a moment.

“our enemy is not like us. they do not share our values. they have never known our comfort and sophistication – and they despise us for it, make no mistake. they are not coming to liberate us, they are coming to destroy our way of life. they are coming to bury us.” and with that it’s over.

“is he still in the mansion?” katniss questions with a stitch in his brow.

you nod. “yeah.” you wet your lips and look to peeta. he nods and you look to katniss. “we know the room.” finnick’s hand gently grabs yours, you smile at him softly in reassurance of your wellbeing before you look at katniss.

“where’s that?” she asks as she unfurls and unfolds a map.

you slowly stand with finnick, both of you walk over as cressida does. “about five blocks away.” she crouches down and points. “we’re right off the avenues right here.” her finger moves. “mansion’s here and considering the residents safety is priority – they’ll probably deactivate the pods right here.” and her fingers press into a portion of the map. you look to katniss who nods with a focus creasing between her brows.

“that could work. i can get close enough.”

“every peacekeeper will be waiting.” finnick says.

cressida nods. “with pictures of our faces plastered everywhere.”

and you shake your head gently as your eyes look around the room. “what if we didn’t look like ourselves?” you suggest. all eyes flicker to you and you gesture around. “a big expensive coat and we’ll melt into the crowd.”

“we? it’s not safe or smart for all of us to go.” peeta observes with a knit in his brow.

you nod. “katniss and i will go then.”

finnick immediately shakes his head. “no.” he offers firmly and you sigh as you look to him with a furrow in your brow. “you’re not going.”

“i can go with her.” gale offers as he pushes off a pillar.

shaking your head, you look to gale. “one wrong move and those stitches will rip and you’ll be useless. i can go with katniss because i know the layout and i–i know how to get to the room he’s in.” you look at finnick’s irritated and pensive expression and he looks to katniss. everyone looks to katniss almost as if to ask her to decide. when her eyes meet yours, you nod firmly as your conversation to land you where you stand comes to mind. slowly she stands and she nods.

“she’s right.” finnick inhales deeply. katniss shakes her head. “gale is hurt, peeta is still not stable enough and she knows the layout.” katniss reasons.

finnick says your name but you turn to him and press your hands against his chest. “we have no time to argue over this, finnick.” meeting his eyes, he looks into yours with desperation sewing up his brow and pleading glittering in his sea-green eyes. you nod gently as your hands push up his chest to gently hold his face. “you made a promise to me.” you whisper softly as you hold his gaze. “i love you – i’m the best one to go with her and you know it. you know my leaving improves our chances greatly.” finnick’s eyes screw shut and he exhales shakily, pulling you close to him with his arms around your waist and agreeing without a word. your eyes look at katniss as you stand on the tips of your toes with your chin on his shoulder. you nod and they all head towards the steps.

eventually you find yourself as clean as you can be in nice clothing. your pistol against your hip and sleeve of blades around your thigh. cressida nods firmly. “head straight north. there’ll be thousands of refugees just get into that stream and do not look up.” she orders. your gaze looks to finnick who fixes the scarf around your neck. he blinks softly, he’s trying not to cry. you reach up and you gently hold his face. finnick’s brows sew up as his glassy eyes meet yours.

you smile sweetly at him as his hand falls over yours and he tilts his head. kissing the inside of your palm, he releases a shuddery breath as a tear rolls down his cheek. “please come back to me. to us.” his deep voice clinging to slight rasp cracks a bit. you smile at him and you embrace him yet again. your ears tune deaf to the other conversations as finnick clings to you tightly. all you hear is his voice. “i love you.”

“i love you. we’ll finally be free when we meet again.” slowly, you pull away with some force needed to get his strong arms off of you. you turn and tune in. offering words of gratitude to the soldiers before you finally stop in front of tigris. smiling at her, you find her smiling back. and you find the words you couldn’t prior. you take her slender and bony hands into yours, they’re warm. “thank you for everything. thank you for keeping me sane my years here – i should’ve thanked you sooner.” you smile at her before you lean in. she stiffens up slightly but she returns the embrace.

“thank you for loving my designs.” she exhales softly as she pulls away and nods at you gently, hands folding at her bust. “you were a wonderful muse.”

“ready?” katniss asks softly. you turn to her and inhale softly as you nod. she tugs on her hood as you do. and you both approach the door.

you give finnick one last look, he smiles at you as tears brim his waterline. and you smile back before you turn and leave the boutique.

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power and control | finnick odair [part nine]

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peeta exhales softly and he leans his head back. “do you ever wish they just killed us?” and you blink back softly at his question.

and even as your eyes gaze down at finnick and you can still smell the love on nick’s head in your senses, you know your answer. you know if you had died in the capitol, you wouldn’t find yourself scared to sleep. scared to be in water. scared to be touch. scared of sudden sounds. scared of the lights flickering. scared of the darkness outside. “yeah i do.” you exhale shakily with a gentle nod. “but i’m glad they didn’t.” you confess slightly contradictory as your brows sew up and you look away from finnick towards peeta.

he nods. “that makes one of us.” your heart aches.

peeta arrives and tensions build. a surprise attack brings the death of two and when you hear and see a familiar voice you find yourself back in a place you were one before. unfortunately for finnick.

tags to be found below.

cw: pstd, ptsd-induced attack, implications of sexual assault, mentions of blood

part nine.

commander boggs walks ahead of the entire group. you trail behind in the middle as you walk along the streets made up of more gravel and destruction than anything else. the device in his hands beeps softly as he holds it out in front of him. stone and rocks crack and kick up dust beneath your heavy combat boots. your attire is changed entirely to a black ensemble that keeps you covered from your ankles to the underside of your throat. a vest protects your chest and back while your back remains snug against your back. a heavy assault rifle slings across your front while another small pistol rests at your hip. the sleeves of blades still wrap around your upper arm and thigh. your eyes dart around as your hand grasps the clip of the gun.

distant sounds of explosions fall muffled but they still drag your insides around. your brows sew deeply and as the device whirs louder, boggs holds up a fist and the entire unit comes to a stop behind him. “we got a pod.” the commander announces before he gestures ahead and sweeps his hand off to the right. “let’s take cover.” he orders and you follow along, rushing along the gravel and concrete. once away from the atmosphere boggs found to hold a pod, he looks to katniss and gestures forward. “shoot between those two buildings.” he orders and she nods immediately. you watch as katniss steps forward and tugs out an arrow while holding her bow. finnick pulls you closer to him to crouch behind the large statue.

when the blonde director begins to direct, you can’t help but roll your eyes while keeping your profanities inside. annoyance and irritation pulls you. “when you’re ready, katniss.” she finally offers as she shifts and takes cover herself. you watch as she pushes the black end arrow against her bow and she aims directly where boggs instructed. “hold it.” she stops her. your brows furrow and more annoyance spills into you. “pollux tighter.” she tells the filmer. you scoff softly, earning a look from boggs which shuts you up immediately. katniss seems just as annoyed, lowering her bow until she’s given the go.

once the arrow fires flames spill down onto the surface of the ground. flames that spit harshly and would incinerate anything to step into them in an instant. you wet your lips, finnick’s hand is gently resting on your bag over the bag and vest. a sudden explosion sends a car some distance away, you flinch alongside the rest of the unit. as the flames begin to die down, boggs gives the clear and you all stand. exhaling softly – you begin to move beside finnick again.

soon you find yourself and the unit taking a break within a dilapidated building. sitting beside finnick, your eyes occasionally glance to katniss who speaks with gale. “here.” finnick draws your attention and you turn to him. he holds out the water bottle and you shake your head with a frown. you have your own. “just drink some.” he says with a shake of his head and you glare at him softly for wasting his own supply but you know there’s no point in arguing with him.

snatching the bottle from him, you frown deeply. “you are very annoying, you know that?” he grins and shrugs at you as you take the bottle and drink. the water cools your throat and your skin, feeling slightly fresher as you lower the rim from your lips. you lick off the droplet at the corner of your lips before you screw the cap on. and your gaze looks to finnick as you hand him the bottle back. for a few moments you admire him, tan skin speckled with moles and bronze hair messy. you turn away and take notice of gale stepping away from katniss to speak to boggs. standing up – you kiss finnick’s cheek. “i’ll be back.”

you find your seat beside katniss and she shakes her head. there’s a moment of silence as she exhales deeply. “we won’t be able to make it out of this minefield without the holo. but he won’t just hand it over.” it seems her concerns match your own, you hum and nod gently as you meet her gaze.

“we’ll take the same watch tonight.” you speak quietly. katniss nods gently. but the sudden sound of a vehicle approaching makes you stand quickly and turn towards the openings of the building. a ground covered in remnants of what once remained shifts slightly as you step over with your gun pulling off your back and into your hands. “peacekeepers?” you ask aloud as everyone slowly gears themself and stands up.

lieutenant jackson speaks into a radio, offering what’s happening. “copy that, over.” and you stop besides finnick, both of you turn to face her. “stand down everyone.” she calls out as she fixed her boot. “it’s friendly.” her words do no good to relax you, you still hold your weapon against your vest as you continue to walk ahead and follow the others towards the sound of the truck rolling in.

upon reaching the top of the steps with boggs, katniss, and finnick – you observe the camouflage doors that open and reveal the same black uniform those in your unit wear. but when your eyes land on peeta geared up with his head low, your eyes immediately snap to katniss who pulls an arrow with a look of surprise across her face. everyone else catches up, up the steps as peeta approaches with the two other soldiers behind. when he begins to get too close you raise your gun when katniss raises her bow and arrow. gale steps forward and puts out a hand.

“okay stop.” he orders.

but finnick places a gentle hand on your arm and you turn to him, he nods and speaks with his eyes. you lower your weapon as he walks forward and looks back at those who hold their hands against their weapons. “hold up. everyone relax.” finnick says with a raise of his brows before he walks closer to peeta. nervousness buzzes at your fingers and concern clouds your mind as gale looks to boggs asking for instruction. boggs turns and walks away after ordering jackson to cuff the murmuring peeta. you watch as he’s cuffed with ease, your eyes flicker to finnick who walks back over to you. when katniss lowers her arrow and bow, you let finnick lead you back towards the space the unit rests in.

taking a seat beside finnick, your eyes flicker to commander boggs who stands with katniss. he exhales deeply while holding the neckline of his vest. “they want us to add him to the propo. show that he’s on our side now.” boggs informs the unit with a knit in his brows. you blink rapidly as your jaw sets after your tongue presses against the inside of your cheek in hot irritation and annoyance. “we’ll move forward a few blocks tomorrow and shoot the new footage.” before you can speak, gale does, his voice calm and tone deep as he raises his head.

“he’s not in control of himself.” he offers.

“i say we schedule an around the clock watch on him.” lieutenant jackson suggests as she stands up and steps to where boggs stands. and she offers each soldier a time they can take to watch peeta and the atmosphere around. but when katniss isn’t given a watch, she speaks out.

“give me a watch.”

all eyes flicker to her and jackson raises her brows. “and if it came down to it could you shoot him?”

“he shouldn’t even be here.” you intervene with obvious anger dragging at your tone. but it still remains steady and cool as your gaze flickers between jackson and boggs. “peeta shouldn’t be killed because president coin wants more footage for this damn propo.”

“i suggest you check your tone, soldier.” jackson warns with a raise of her brows and nod of her head.

you wet your lips and your jaw tightens. when you feel finnick’s hand on your thigh, you look to him and his gaze softens. it reassures you, his touch relaxes you. still your anger exists but you turn to jackson and nod. “i apologize, ma’am but please give me a watch with katniss then. she shouldn’t be expected to kill him and maybe her being around him will help clear the fog in his head more.”

“or it could worsen it.” jackson rebuttals again.

annoyance drags hotter at you, your eyes look to boggs who wears a pensive expression across his handsome face. his dark eyes dart from you to katniss before he nods and steps away. “give them a watch.” he orders his right-hand woman. you exhale softly and look to katniss, she nods at you before she makes her leave to follow after boggs. jackson gives you a watch and she turns away, walking over to the other corner of the room. you look at finnick and you nod gently at him to reassure him you’re okay, gently placing a hand over his. leaning your head against his shoulder, the unit falls into silence for a while before soft chattering fills the air.

soon night falls. lanterns glow to illuminate the space unit 451 occupies. distant explosions still sound out like the world's worst lullaby as all the soldiers sleep soundly. you sit across from where katniss’s gaze rests on a sleeping and restrained peeta, you feel sympathy for her and that familiar ache. especially as your own eyes fall down to the man you love. the man that sleeps soundly with his hand on your thigh, his own silver engagement band around his ring finger. you gently reach out and brush away some of his hair from his face, he sighs in contentment. it warms your chest how it seems he always sleeps easily when you’re with him.

but when peeta’s voice fills the air you turn. “we’ve been here before you know?” his eyes look at katniss, she sits up as she looks at him.

“what?” she responds.

“that look.” peeta swallows hard, he exhales softly. “i’ve seen that look.” when he slowly sits up, you tense up slightly with a furrow in your brow. “you’re trying to decide whether or not you should kill me.” he offers bluntly.

“i never wanted to kill you.” katniss replies without missing a beat. she shakes her head gently. “and that’s not what i’m doing.”

“i saw it with my own eyes in the first games.”

she scoffs softly. “in the first games i thought you were trying to help the careers kill me. and after that i always saw you…” she trails off, her jaw tenses. “as an ally.” katniss speaks honestly.

peeta pauses for a few moments, his gaze grows distant. “friend. lover. victor, fiance, enemy, target – and now ally?” his voice grows louder, it grows more bitter. “yeah, yeah i’ll add that to the list of words i’ll use to try and figure you out.” peeta spits so bitterly it even makes you flinch slightly. it’s horrifying, you hadn’t seen him since the capitol. to see him speak to katniss this way, look at her with disdain and bitterness compared to the contrast of the love in his eyes and softness in his voice as he spoke about her. it hurts your heart as you look at katniss. “i’m sorry…” peeta apologizes. “i-i just can’t tell what’s real and what’s made up anymore.”

“then ask.” you finally speak. peeta’s eyes look at you and you shake your head gently as you hold his gaze. “touch, smell, feel – it’s what i do. it’s what i taught johanna to do.”

“and who am i supposed to ask?” peeta questions with a tightness in his jaw.

“katniss.” you offer without missing a beat. peeta’s gaze holds yours with an intensity. “or me.” you add. “the only people i can ever ask to tell me what’s real and what isn’t is finnick and johanna because they are what got me through the hell in the capitol. you ask the people who got you through what you went through.”

peeta’s gaze falls and he inhales deeply. there’s a long drag of silence as your gaze falls to finnick and your heart squeezes. your hand gently brushes across his cheek. when peeta’s voice spills out you don’t pull your gaze from finnick. “your favorite color is green. is that real?”

there’s a pause. your eyes flicker to katniss. “yes. that’s real.” her gaze doesn’t tear from his. “yours is orange.” she blinks softly. “n…not bright orange. soft – like the sunset.”

for a moment peeta’s empty gaze flickers with something, you take notice of it. you wonder if katniss does. “thank you.” he says softly.

katniss continues with a wavering inhale. “you’re a painter. you’re a baker. you always sleep with the windows open. you never take sugar in your tea, you always double knot your shoelaces.” her voice steady and quiet begins to waver and quiver. she swallows thickly and she looks to you as her eyes grow glassy, tears brimming her waterline. she inhales and forces herself up. “jackson was right.” and she walks past you. “i can’t do this.” she makes her way to where gale sleeps and drops herself down next to him.

your brows sew up and your eyes meet peeta’s. his empty eyes look at you and he stares for a few moments. “your watch was over five minutes ago.” he observes. you nod in acknowledgement, your eyes glance to katniss who leans her head against the wall and shuts her eyes. the plan to snatch the holo must not be open anymore. you look to peeta and shake your head.

“if i go to sleep i’ll wake everyone up.” you confess softly.

peeta exhales softly and he leans his head back. “do you ever wish they just killed us?” and you blink back softly at his question.

and even as your eyes gaze down at finnick and you can still smell the love on nick’s head in your senses, you know your answer. you know if you had died in the capitol, you wouldn’t find yourself scared to sleep. scared to be in water. scared to be touch. scared of sudden sounds. scared of the lights flickering. scared of the darkness outside. “yeah i do.” you exhale shakily with a gentle nod. “but i’m glad they didn’t.” you confess slightly contradictory as your brows sew up and you look away from finnick towards peeta.

he nods. “that makes one of us.” your heart aches.

the next morning everyone gets ready to move again. “listen up.” boggs calls out and all eyes turn to him, finnick offers a glance as he fixes the sleeve of blades around your arm. boggs holds an assault rifle and raises an empty clip. “it’s only for the propo.” and he hands the gun to peeta. still your insides churn. your brows knit and you listen to his instruction. “let’s move. we’re headed five blocks north.” and everyone begins to move, you kiss finnick’s cheek before walking ahead of him.

you soon find yourself next to katniss, you glance back occasionally to finnick who helps peeta rehearse the ridiculous script he was handed for the propo. your gaze falls ahead, tall looming buildings white and gray in dull shades come into view as you walk through a narrow pathway. the group only stops when the director calls out the commander's name. you find that annoyance and irritation. “this is a good spot.” she says with a nod. she points ahead. “through there in the courtyard.”

the commander nods. “alright. let’s clear it first.”

distant explosions continue as boggs takes the lead again, holding the holo in front of him. walking through two pillars the holo begins to beep rapidly down the entrance through to the courtyard. the group stops. “we got a pod. split and take cover.” he orders. you feel finnick tug you to the left against the wall where peeta and other soldiers take cover. you crouch beside the wall between finnick and peeta. “stay back.” boggs orders before he tosses something in through the opening to the courtyard. you flinch as gunshots fire off by the dozens up and down. covering your ears and pushing yourself closer to finnick, you don’t relax until the firing ceases.

you slowly pull back and look to boggs who slowly steps to the entrance. “all clear.” and he pulls gale and another soldier to different positions. you stay against the wall with a few of the filmers, finnick, and katniss. in front of you, your eyes look to peeta who pants heavily with a red tinge on his skin. he murmurs something to himself over and over as he thumps his temple against the weapon he holds. your eyes flicker to katniss who watches him with concern and overwhelming worry in her gaze. looking back to peeta you round him and crouch in front of him.

“you don’t like the taste of tomatoes.” you speak softly. you begin to recount the conversations you had with peeta while you lay exhausted and severely wounded against the glass or vice versa. peeta pants heavily as his murmuring slows but the thumping against his head doesn’t. “you think people who correct others' grammar are obnoxious…you don’t like the smell of rain because it smells like rust.” peeta’s eyes slowly unscrew and they meet yours, you nod gently as you hold his gaze and he stops hitting his head. “you want children. a boy and a girl in that order.” his breathing slows. “you love the sound of–”

and a sudden explosion rocks the ground and your body spins, your wide eyes look around the corner. katniss runs forward. jackson shouts your name following katniss’s. “everdeen, no! hold your positions!” you try to run but you feel finnick’s hand grab you. he pulls you back and you exhale deeply. meeting his gaze, you nod gently and turn to look down the entryway. boggs lays on the ground where katniss, gale, and the corporal surround him. you know what’s happened. one of the twins rests on their knee in obvious pain, when her sister runs to her – she stops suddenly.

your wide eyes watch as long slabs of concrete slowly close in on one another to the exit to the courtyard. then your eyes snap behind you to see the only other exit shutting in on itself. immediately, finnick grabs you by your hand and your hand grabs peeta’s vest. a thick black substance crashes down suddenly as your feet hit the ground hard. running as it comes down from the back and left, you turn when you feel peeta disappear from your grasp. you turn and gasp as he tackles katniss to the ground. “peeta no!” you shout.

katniss ducks out of the way where his gun attempts to slam into her and you watch as the best sharpshooter in panem tries to stop him. your heart falls when peeta shoves him into the black thick, tar substance that immediately encapsulates him and strings him up on thin wires. you grab peeta by his neck and yank him back. running with him towards the soldiers that bark loudly. “inside! high ground! go, go, now!” they shout as you run with peeta in your grasp, your heart hammers in your chest and adrenaline pumps through your veins.

everyone runs inside and you drag peeta up the steps as he grunts and tries to escape your grasp. when your eyes notice the broken staircase leaving you all trapped, you turn and slam peeta against the wall. “it-it’s okay! settle down, peeta! settle–” you grunt out in pain as a hot sting shoots across your face when his elbow connects with your cheek. the corporal rushes forward and pushes a syringe into him as finnick runs to you. panic paints his face as he holds your shoulders. “i-i’m okay, finnick! i’m okay!” you reassure him as you drop your hand from the hot throb in your jaw. finnick’s eyes dart across your features, he only calms down when he holds your face.

you turn away and look at the hot tar that burns at the steps. “it’s slowing down.” the director observes.

finnick speaks out. “we have to get the hell out of here – if the peacekeepers didn’t know we were here they sure as hell do now. those cameras caught us.” he points out loud enough to be heard over the chaos slowing down. you stand behind him where he not-so-subtly nudges you to. jackson’s attempts to reach the base don’t go through, she sighs out heavily as she pushes the radio back into its place.

“there’s no signal but i can still get us back to base.” she says with a nod. “everdeen give me the holo.” she orders. katniss turns to her slowly. “everdeen what did i just say? give me the holo, let’s go.” jackson repeats herself impatiently.

your eyes flicker to katniss and she looks to you before she looks to jackson. “boggs gave it to me.” she firmly announces. relief floods through your entire body and you refrain from smiling. jackson’s eyes narrow and her head tilts in question. “boggs transferred security clearance to me.” katniss clarifies and the corporal that was with her nods and speaks out.

“he did. i saw him.”

a sudden tension falls into the air thick and uncomfortable. the lieutenant narrows her eyes slightly and she shifts to stand straighter. “and why would he do that?” she questions as her gaze falls to katniss.

“i’m on special orders from coin.” katniss states firmly.

“to do what?” jackson questions.

“to assassinate president snow.”

a chill crawls up your spine and you grasp your weapon across your chest tightly. as you could have guessed, jackson shakes her head. “i don’t believe that for one second. and as your new unit commander i order you to transfer security clearance to me right now.” you step around finnick and you step beside katniss.

“it’s true. president coin was the one who had us come on the medical transpo in hopes we wouldn’t be pointed out soon or questioned.” you lie through your teeth.

“i’m not transferring clearance.” katniss stands firmly.

and lieutenant jackson suddenly pulls her gun, you’re quick to step in front of katniss as gale raises his gun and finnick does the same. “let’s not lose our heads.” gale says in a calm manner. your eyes stare down the barrel of her weapon before you meet her gaze.

“move, soldier.” she orders. “i’m not asking either of you again.” your heart hammers in your chest when suddenly a head of blonde hair appears in front of you.

“they’re telling the truth.” the director offers calmly with her hands up on either side of her. “plutarch wants it televised. he thinks if we can film the mockingjay assassinating snow it’ll get the capitol to surrender before casualties get too high.” she defends and you wonder if she’s doing it for the death or snow or for the protection of katniss. can it be both?

finnick suddenly speaks but your eyes don’t move from jackson. “while we’re here arguing there’s probably a hundred peacekeepers coming here.” he reasons, his voice tight but calm.

katniss steps aside. “boggs promised me that when the time came you would help me.” you know she’s lying.

but after a few tense moments, jackson lowers her weapon with a soft exhale. the tension still lays in the air but as all weapons fall back into their place, you feel katniss breathe in relief in time with you as your hands loosen on your own weapon slung across your chest. “alright, soldier.” jackson begins with a firm expression. “holo’s yours.” she resigns. gale reassures the group that footprints won’t be left and reasons the cameras must be ruined by the tar. but all eyes turn to the wounded twin.

her leg is awful, it’s evacuation or leaving her. her sister stays with her once jackson promises that once contact is made with base help will come. but something heavy, something doubtful spills into your stomach as your eyes watch the two sisters. “alright let’s move out, everybody!” jackson orders and you turn as you feel finnick’s hand grasp your forearm. his expression is one of anger, brows furrowed and lips thinned but before he can say anything the corporal calls him over to help with a barely conscious peeta. he turns away and you read his mind.

finnick’s upset you stepped in front of that gun. you brush it away, more important things to consider as you move out with the unit.

the courtyard is painted with the black substance, your eyes sweep around the area as katniss takes the lead with the holo in hand. your brows knit upwards at the sight of boggs and the sharpshooter. at gale’s order, the unit hustles and runs towards another building. he slams the butt of his gun against the glass and it shatters. soon everyone hustles inside and up the steps towards a pretty room with a screen and lamps illuminating the atmosphere. “shut the curtains, now!” jackson orders and you release your grasp on your weapon to rush to follow her orders. shutting the curtains quickly with the others before you stop at one and peek through.

peacekeepers hit the building the leiges are in, they stop but begin their firing when the twins fire off their weapons. you inhale sharply when a bomb is blown at the building. windows shatter and the entire building itself comes down, you turn away and crouch, your wide eyes look down at the ground. then a familiar sound fills the air and your eyes drag to the screen. a mandatory viewing requiring all of panem to view and watch. anger floods through your veins as your eyes meet those of caesar flickerman, your mind takes you back to that interview room and your hands begin to tremble.

“good afternoon. i’m caesar flickerman, here with our continuing coverage of the defense of the capitol. today as our peacekeeper’s valiantly hold off the rebels, our story takes a surprising twist. katniss everdeen – our one favorite daughter – has infiltrated the city with some of the victors whose names are all too familiar.” footage of what happened moments ago glows on the screen. you blink rapidly. “finnick odair, peeta mellark.” and your name leaves his lips, your heart thumps in your chest. “hm. clearly some alliances don’t last forever.” peeta tackling katniss to the ground glows on screen. “take a look at what happened when our peacekeepers cornered katniss everdeen and her band of foolish rebels. whatever arrogance brought this treacherous girl back to us, you are about to witness a great victory not only for the capitol but for panem.” footage of the building collapsing.

“i’m okay…i’m safe…” you mutter as the scripts you were forced to memorize bleed into your mind. you feel katniss’s eyes flicker to you where she crouches beside you.

“so there you have it. katniss everdeen – the girl on fire – the girl who inspired so much violence, seems to have met a violent end herself. stay tuned for more information. caesar flickerman, thank you.”

you push off the ground and you set your gun down beside katniss as the air feels thin. your brows sew up as your heart thumps in your chest and you swallow thickly. it feels as if that corset is tightening along your bruised and swollen ribs and lungs. you can feel the eyes of the peacekeepers as they roughly tugged off the flashy clothing with no care since your camera time had ended. your chest heaves up and down as you shift on your shoes. your hand presses against your face, the faint sound of peeta and gale’s voice fades into jackson’s voice.

“what is she doing?”

“seeing him sets her off…” peeta breathes distantly.

your name fills the air behind you, it’s close. your hands tremble and your eyes sting as you shake your head. if you turn you’ll see a peacekeeper, if you turn you’ll see a fist, a cattle prod. you’re tired. and when you feel a hand on your shoulder – you snatch a blade from your sleeve and turn with a sweep of a leg. your eyes widen as you hit the ground and press the edge of the blade up against the throat of a peacekeeper you sit on top of. loud noises fill the air but you don’t hear anything past ringing as your hands tremble and shake.

“don’t point your weapons at her!” finnick shouts angrily but you can’t hear it. “i mean it! put them down!

only when you hear peeta’s voice do your eyes snap up. you expect to see his face bruised and bloody, cheeks sunken in. through glass. but you don’t. he holds out his hands in gear your mind doesn’t recognize yet. “you hate the color white.” peeta speaks calmly. he looks healthy. spare dark circles lightly stroking the underside of his eyes. “your beautiful boy is in district thirteen, he’s almost four. your favorite color is sea-green because of your son and finnick’s eyes.” slowly, your reality begins to settle in and tears roll down your cheeks as your eyes drag away from peeta to look around at those who surround you with their weapons in hand but not aimed. “you want to live on the beach someday.” when your wide eyes meet peeta’s, he nods. “there are no peacekeeper’s here.”

and when your eyes follow his down, you gasp out and pull the blade away from finnick’s throat. “oh no…nonono…” you breathe as you drop the blade. it clatters onto the ground and you shake your head as tears roll down your cheeks.

“it’s–it’s okay–it’s okay–” you try to pull off finnick, pull away from him as your wide eyes watch the beading blood on his neck. but he doesn’t let you, he sits up as his hands grab the sides of your head and he forces your eyes to him. “it’s okay. i’m okay – you’re okay.” apologies fumble from your lips and you shake your head rapidly as you fall against his chest and he holds you close while you sit on his lap. finnick strokes your back as his hand holds the back of your head against his chest, he rocks with you in his arms. “you’re okay…you’re safe – i promise nothing will ever hurt you again. it’s okay…” he breathes. “i love you…”

you manage to calm down eventually, everyone eating and drinking water beneath the blanket of night with the glow of the lamps in the room to illuminate as much as the lights can touch. guilt tears open your insides, disgust burns at you as you sit beside finnick and watch him set down the food for the fancy capitol elite’s in front of the two of you. your gun rests across your body again and the blade is back in its sheath. your eyes look to the small cut on his neck and you look away as you blink away the sting in your eyes.

“i can’t believe i did that…” you breathe as you toy with the band around your finger. turning to finnick who looks at you with an expression of concern, you shake your head gently. “i’m–” and he leans in, planting his lips against yours. your entire body relaxes as you lean in to deepen the kiss. finnick’s hand is gently as it holds your cheek. when he pulls away, he presses his forehead to yours.

“stop apologizing. i’m okay.” he speaks softly as his thumb strokes the line of your jaw still sore from peeta’s hit. “i just wish you would’ve told me you were still having episodes.” finnick offers as he pulls away and holds your gaze. you nod gently and inhale shakily.

“i guess i was just worried. i used to be so strong…witty and almost invincible and immune to everything but–now i’m just–i don’t want to be someone you can’t…” your eyes flicker away as his hand falls.

“look at me.” you exhale shakier and turn your gaze to meet his. “you are the strongest person i know.” he says with firmness and you smile at him. “and never worry about anything shifting my love for you. i will love you until the day i die and even when i’m rotting under the dirt your name will be etched into my bones.” your smile grows and you exhale shakily as you press your face into his neck.

“i love you.”

“i love you.”

eating the delicious food and sweets the capitol home provides with finnick, you chatter with one another about peeta’s mention of the beach. “even after the arena?” finnick jokes with a lopsided grin. you scoff and shove him gently.

“yes, even after the arena.” you shrug gently as you chew on a piece of soft bread. “i don’t know. i like the water and the warm sun with the smell of the ocean – it’s…ideal.” you explain with a soft smile as you look down at the tray. and your attention is soon pulled to the screen when that familiar song spills through the air. your eyes narrow as you take notice of the unit photos on the screen in the form of the dead tributes in the arena. when finnick’s face comes on screen he chuckles with a grin and you stifle your own laughter when yours follows his. “god, that’s a terrible photo.” you jab at yourself with a grin.

but the lightness falters when president snow’s face comes on screen. “so, katniss everdeen, a poor unstable girl with nothing but a small talent with a bow and arrow – is dead.” snow begins, condescension oozing off of him. “not a thinker, not a leader. simply a face plucked from the masses. was she valuable? she was extremely valuable to your rebellion because you have no vision. no true leader among you. you call yourselves an alliance. but we saw what that means. your soldiers are at each other’s throats–”

you sit up and blink rapidly when president coin’s face glitches into view. “for those of you who don’t know me, allow me to introduce myself. i am president alma coin – leader of the rebellion. i have interrupted a broadcast from your president in which he attempted to defame a brave young woman. ‘a face picked from the masses’ he called her, as if a leader – a true leader – could be anything else. i had the privilege of knowing a small town girl from the scene in district twelve who survive the hunger games and the quarter quell. and rose up and turned a nation of slaves into an army.” her voice grows with passion. she’s putting on a show, you shake your head and look down at the water in hand. “dead or alive, katniss everdeen will remain the face of this revolution. she will not have died for nothing.”

“i had no idea i meant so much to her.” katniss speaks flatly. your eyes flicker back to the screen.

“her vision and ours will be realized. a free panem with self determination for all. and in her memory we will all find the strength to rid panem of its oppressors.” she nods. “thank you and be safe.” the screen dissolves to show katniss’s photo as the mockingjay with a cheesy line beneath. rolling your eyes, you turn to katniss who speaks.

“snow’s in his mansion.” she stands up and tugs out the holo. you stand yo with finnick and walk over with a knit in your brow. “where is that?” she inquired while walking to the center of the square table beneath the screens. katniss sits down and criss-crosses her legs as cressida points with a deep sigh.

“we’re here.” she says. her hand shifts more than half-way across the hologram. “that’s the city circle. at least seventy – seventy-five blocks north.” your brows sew tighter and you shake your head as your gaze flickers to katniss’s.

“we’ll never make it that far – we have the holo but there’s a trap every ten feet and that’s not including those we can’t see yet.” you observe and point out with your arm on your knee. katniss parts her lips and you shake your head gently. “whether the p-peacekeeper’s are on us or not they’ll find us the moment we set off one of the traps.”

for a few moments a silence falls, but your gaze flickers towards one of the filmers – his ginger hair pulled back into a slick bun. his brother nods when he points downwards. he looks to the unit. “there might be another way.”

the move is quick and tense, by the time the sun is up you find yourself in a tunnel with the rest of the unit. your gaze flickering up as a bullet train whirrs by through panes of glass. you stand close to finnick as you look up and down the pathways. “my brother knows these tunnels very well.” the last of the filmers climbs down the ladder and his shoes hit the ground.

wiping off his hands as he looks around, he nods. “he worked in sanitation down here. right after they made him an avox.” he explains. your brows sew up and you blink softly, sharing a look of concern with finnick before you begin to follow his brother as he slowly walks down the concrete. he steps up to his brother and gently places a hand on his shoulder. “hey…hey. you’re gonna be okay. look at me. look at me.” his brother breathes heavily, obvious panic rising in him. but when he turns, his brother nods firmly. “we’re gonna get through this, i promise.” he reassures him. and he seems to calm down.

as he walks ahead and looks around, you watch him with concern.

“took us five years to buy his way out of here.” his brother shares and your heart aches. “he didn’t see the sun once.”

jackson exhales deeply.

“alright. everdeen you lead. let’s get ready, soldiers.”

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power and control | finnick odair [part eight]

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“yeah…” is all you can muster up knowing the chances of you getting your happily ever after are as slim as your body was in the capitol. but it’s finnick, so you lie again as you kiss his shoulder. “our story will end happily.”

you have a heart to heart with katniss that solidifies a decision your heart takes. finnick makes a proposal and a promise to you.

tags to be found below.

cw: none.

part eight.

nick warmed up to finnick almost instantly. it was as if he already knew the truth, or maybe as if he felt it. regardless you were entirely happy and with the oddly strict rules of district thirteen’s rooming situation you weren’t allowed to room with finnick. instead you found yourself with johanna yet again. and after the news that the peacekeeper’s had done worse to peeta than you have presumed, you contemplated visiting an injured katniss but were rejected by boggs who thought her rest was most important. you met a fair amount of people in district thirteen including president coin, plutarch, beetee, and haymitch abernathy who all offered you gratitude for your warning and offered pleasantries – speaking of your skills in combat and your intelligence by hemlock’s words.

but you eventually found your injuries wounding you further and sleep was a necessity. you didn’t trust yourself with nick, you weren’t sure what would happen when you fell asleep so you let nick sleep with his father in his room. and it turned out to be a good thing as each time the blanket of night falls over the district and the lights dim down in your room you share with johanna nothing ever remains gone for too long.

everything that happened in the capitol wouldn’t go away just because you were safe, just because you found no more secrets between you and finnick, just because you had your beautiful boy back. nothing would leave just because things were getting better as the days go by, your wounds were getting better but what lies inside of you wasn’t getting any better. not by a longshot, not when you thought of finnick and not when you thought of your beautiful boy. and every time you realize you still feel as if you’re stuck in that cell, you feel a gut-wrenching guilt. and as you sleep in your bed, you writhe and toss and turn.

screams soon fill the air as that video plays in your mind, sitting up sharply your eyes burst wide open and you pant heavily as you grasp the blanket and look around.

sweat covers your cold skin and your heart aches in your chest, grasping the fabric of your clothes – you blink rapidly and look up at the iv your arm attached to a rolling hook. you’re okay – you’re safe. you’re not in the capitol anymore. but the iv irritates you, you find yourself unable to trust it, it’s been more than just a few days already you don’t see why you still need it.

swallowing thickly, your brows sew tightly and you grunt as you grab the base of the needle and pull it out. a bitter taste coats the inside of your mouth as you place your thumb over the small puncture that beads a droplet of blood. and your eyes flicker across the room to where johanna sleeps, she’s unhooked herself from her iv too. she’s a hard sleeper, she even slept hard in the capitol.

slippers drag on concrete as you leave the room with your arms crossing over your chest. the air feels cold up your spine and beneath the softer clothes you adorn. warm yellow lights bathe the corridors you walk along in search of a clear mind and far more relaxed atmosphere. your brows sew together and you wet your lips, simply hoping you don’t get lost anywhere. inhaling deeply and exhaling deeper as you round corridors and corners – you eventually find yourself facing the girl on fire herself, the mockingjay. you haven’t seen her since you returned and even then you didn’t exchange a word. she leans against the corridor wall in a white hospital outfit with a needle in her arm and visible bandages peeking from beneath her shirt. you find a warmth in a friend you’ve been worried over.

“katniss.” you call out and she turns her head. wavy chocolate hair falls to curtain her features just a bit and she inhales deeply as a light smile spreads on her lips. you walk over to her and you embrace her, gently considering the injury that paints her chest after her inspirational speech in the underground railroad. she grunts softly as she returns the hug before you pull away. “you shouldn’t be out of bed, are you feeling okay?” your eyes look her over, a gentle hand holds her cheek as you check her for any visible worrying injuries. bruises line her throat, faint from peeta’s attack and she stands in discomfort.

but she shakes her head with a smile. “i needed some air.” she snorts softly, her voice raspier than usual. “well as much air as we can get down here.” you smile in slight amusement. katniss’s gaze flickers between yours and you recognize something in her eyes. something that you don’t mention quite yet. especially not when she nods at you while her eyes drink in your appearance. far better than when you arrived. “how are you doing? i hear johanna’s been cut off on her supply of morphling and she threw her iv at the doctor that comes to visit you guys.” there’s humor to be found in the darkness, you laugh slightly but something heavy hangs in your heart.

“yeah we’re both having a hard time adjusting to–all of this.” you confess softly as your hand waves around the atmosphere. wetting your lips as you shake your head gently, your eyes meet katniss’s. “how’s peeta doing?” you ask cautiously, carefully. she stares at you for a few moments before she drops her gaze and shakes her head with a knit in her brow. you take notice of the way the skin around her nails has been torn raw. she starts to pick at the scabs.

“he hasn’t gotten better. even the mention of my name s–” katniss’s voice wavers and she inhales shakily. “he’s not getting any better.” a crease shapes between her brows. sympathy pours into you warm and hot, you walk ahead slightly. leaning against the wall of the corridor opposite to her, she meets your eyes and she shakes her head gently. “they told me that some of his memories of me are returning. haymitch wants me to go in and see him – for his sake but i…i can’t – i don’t know how i’ll be able to see that hate in his eyes and hear all he wants to slew.” katniss confesses, her voice softening as her eyes screw shut.

blinking softly, there’s a momentary lull in the air before you shake your head gently. she truly loves him. “when we were in the capitol all he’d do is talk about you.” you share. her pretty almond eyes flicker up and you feel them on your gaze as your eyes look down at the scar across your knuckles and the missing fingernail. “he told me your favorite color is green. that you sing when you need comfort, the bread he tossed you, when he first realized he liked you when you two were kids.” wetting your lips again, you inhale shakily and you exhale deeply. “peeta is never going to be the boyish-charm oozing guy he was. none of us are going to be the people we used to be after what we faced in the capitol.”

“you and johanna seem the same.” she observes, her voice is tight as if she’s trying not to cry.

you exhale sharply and shake your head as a bitter smile paints your lips. “‘seem’ being the key word.” you offer as your eyes flicker up and meet hers. “i can’t sleep. i don’t trust myself around my own baby – when finnick touches me too quickly i snap and feel like i’m being touched by the peacekeeper’s again. i can hear johanna crying in her sleep, i’ve held her while she claws at her arms trying to get rid of the hallucinations of the bugs they put on her and convinced her were beneath her skin.” katniss blinks softly, her tears slip down her round cheeks. “we’re not going to be the same people we were. but…whatever he says, whatever he does–i promise it’s not his fault.”

katniss sniffles as she meets your eyes. “i couldn’t imagine still standing after going through what you guys went through.”

“don’t compare. that doesn’t help anyone.” you step towards her and you reach your hands out. she inhales shakily before she exhales a soft sob. you grab her hands gently and you hold them. katniss meets your gaze and you furrow your brows with a firm nod. “stop letting these people tell you what to do, katniss. you are the mockingjay, you’re the face of a rebellion that’ll change the world.” you offer with a firm nod. “i know you didn’t choose it, i know it’s a lot for one person but it’s the shoes you stand in. you are much braver, and much stronger than you might think.”

“they won’t even let me join the troops.” she exhales as her eyes fall to your hands holding hers.

and your brows stitch tighter. wetting your lips, your mind begins to churn with all you’ve heard and all you’ve seen. all you’ve felt. and you know you feel as helpless as katniss, perhaps it can’t be compared or measured but it’s borderline debilitating. you feel pathetic oftentimes, like a stupid little kicked dog hiding in the corner from an abuser who’s aware of all their power. finnick and hemlock refuse to let you train with the troops, president coin refused your request to join under the guise that your injuries are healing when you can sense her hesitation towards you from a mile away. you feel helpless, you know how katniss must feel. and in just a few short minutes, you tighten your hands around hers and her eyes meet yours.

“in a few days at midnight the medics will be shipping supplies out.” your voice is quiet, it’s soft. your eyes hold hers intensely, she blinks softly as you take notice of the puzzle pieces forming together in her gaze. “visit peeta. see him – and then come to me and tell me what you conclude. i’m sick and tired of being helpless, of letting that bastard and the capitol still touch me despite me being here with the love of my life and my beautiful baby boy. i want them to see me – but they need to see you. only if you choose it after you see peeta.”

“i can’t let you–”

“no. you have no say in it like none of them should have any say in what you and i do.” you firmly interrupt before you pull your hands away. katniss blinks softly as she seems to absorb your words. you can feel that she knows you’re right. being told what to do, especially as a woman of her importance and history, after all you’ve both been through feels like a plastic bag being tugged over your heads. “i love my son, i love finnick – but none of us will ever be safe or secure with these videos and speeches. as great as you look in them.” she offers a dry laugh of amusement and a small smile. you nod at her gently. “tell me what you decide, katniss.”

walking away from her towards the place your heart finds itself pulling towards, you stop when she calls out your name. you turn and look over your shoulder at her. “thank you.” katniss nods with a thoughtful expression across her pretty features. you smile and you nod.

“you’re the mockingjay. don’t let them confine you to a cage for the cameras.” and with that, you continue to make your way down the corridor. something in your heart begins to solidify, it feels as though something inside of you knows what katniss will do and what her decision will ultimately come down to. and because of that a feeling of guilt pours into you as you cross corridors and read numbers until you find one specific room. you walk in after the door slides open and you exhale softly, lovingly as your eyes fall to finnick sleeping soundly with nick curled up against his chest and a hand on the back of his head. your eyes flicker across the room to his roommate before you walk over.

gentle hands brush nick’s head before your hand cups finnick’s cheek as you crouch over the bed. finnick stirs softly, he inhales deeply and his eyes flicker beneath his eyelids. slowly, his eyes flutter open and those sea-green beauties glow when they meet your smiling face. “my love…” finnick offers groggily, turning his head and kissing your palm as a big smile spreads on his features. “why are you up? you should be–” and his whispering comes to a stop when you lean down and press your lips to his. the kiss is soft, it’s loving and intimate. pulling away from the kiss, finnick blinks softly as he holds your gaze. in his eyes you can sense he senses something is off. but he smiles and he scoots over with nick in his arms.

you lay down with your legs tangling with finnick’s, nick nestled between you and finnick like he’s a baby in the warm embrace of your belly yet again. you gently pet nick’s head as he sleeps soundly, love and warmth fuel your entire being as you smell the love off the top of his head. “i love you both so much…” you whisper as your brows sew up and your eyes take in the beauty of your little boy and finnick. when finnick speaks your name softly, your eyes flicker up with a soft hum. it gives you butterflies, the love that expands in his dark pupils as his eyes flicker between yours. but you notice the way his hand on nick’s head trembles slightly. worry drags at you. “finnick?” you breathe softly.

and your eyes widen when finnick brings up a simple silver band. shock courses through you as your eyes look into his.

“will you marry me?”

tears sting your eyes and your hand clamps over your mouth. unable to find the word as your vocal cords tangle up, a big smile breaks across your face and you nod eagerly. he let’s out a gasp of relief. “yes?” he asks with disbelief and wide eyes.

“y-yes, of course yes!” you try to keep your voice down as the words leave your lips squeaky and tight. finnick’s smile spreads big across his lips and you hold out your hand to him. with trembling hands, his pushes the ring onto your shaking hand. you shake your head gently as you lean in and hold his face while nick rolls onto his side against finnick’s chest between both of you. kissing him deeply, you quietly laugh and smile against his lips. “i love you so much…” you cry softly as his hands hold your face.

“i love you so much.” finnick exhales deeply as his forehead pressed to yours. for a moment your decision with katniss wavers. but then finnick speaks again. “all my life he made me believe i was only worth what someone would pay for me, then you loved me and that was worth everything…i’m so happy to be away from them – the capitol elites, snow, and the capitol itself.” he confesses softly before he plants another kiss against your lips. and your decision all but cements itself in your heart.

the engagement is seen as something hopeful along the district. the sweet albeit slightly eccentric effie trinket even offers to make and craft your dress for you. in bliss with finnick, you still contemplate how things must have gone with katniss and what exactly her decision must have come down to. it isn’t until the day the medics are meant to transfer the supplies at midnight do you find the door to your empty room opening – johanna at lunch. your eyes flicker up as you tug on your clothes. she wears the usual deep hideous green jumpsuit everyone often dons. her expression is firm.

“i’m going to kill president snow.” you straighten up as you fix your belt. her voice is cold. “he’s taken everything and he’ll keep taking as long as he’s breathing. nothing is ever safe with him alive – nothing will be until he dies.” katniss wets her lips. “and i want my eyes to be the last thing he sees.”

“wear all black. we’ll meet five before midnight.”

katniss blinks softly. “you could die.”

and you still for a moment. your gaze looks down to your belt you buckle to her eyes. “when it comes down to it – will you be able to kill him?” without hesitation, she nods. and you nod. “then it’s a sacrifice i’m more than happy to make. five before, president coin is giving one of her speeches again.” and as katniss leaves, you exhale deeply and your eyes wait till the door shuts before you crouch down and pull a small box out from beneath the railing on the underside of your bed.

ten till soon comes and you find yourself leaning against the doorframe that leads into the small nursery president coin was gracious enough to create. finnick sits across from johanna, the two play with an eager nick. beneath the typical district thirteen jumpsuit you adorn is an all black ensemble of loose fitted pants until the ankles and a black thermal long-sleeve where a sleeve of blades wrap around your left thigh while a sleeve wraps around your right upper arm. your hair is styled up and slicked back, not a single piece falling in out of the high braid. you smile as you watch nick show johanna a handmade stuffed giraffe.

“giraffe.” johanna says and nick repeats it.

stepping into the room, your first footstep draws their eyes, johanna’s quicker. you smile at the two before nick gasps and claps. “mama!” he shouts. and you crouch down when you’re further into the room. the little boy leaps into your arms and you catch him with a soft laugh.

“did you come so we could all walk to hear another condescending speech?” johanna asks with a raise of her brows and a light grin across her thin lips. you laugh softly and shake your head as you nick pulls away and you grab his face, peppering kisses all over his skin.

“no i actually have to go help katniss with something. we’ll meet you guys there, i just wanted to see you guys.” you offer cooly as you stand and ruffle the beautiful boys hair. with a smile to both johanna and finnick, you exhale deeply as your eyes linger on a smiling finnick who walks over. “make sure he has his noise canceling headphones on.” you warn him before he leans in and plants a kiss against your lips. you return the kiss as he hums and nods in acknowledgement. pulling back, you smile up at him. “i love you.” you say softly as your eyes drink in the features of the man who pulled himself from the troops for you, yet you find yourself with another secret.

“i love you.” he nods as he leans down and kisses your cheek. “oh and after the meeting effie wants to see you, she wants your final opinion on the dress – warning, i saw a lot of frills.” he laughs as you groan softly and scrunch your nose.

“oh god…” you mutter before you crouch down and plant a kiss against nick’s head. the kiss lasting a bit longer than it usually does. with a heavy heart, you step back. “i’ll see you guys later.” you offer softly. they offer you farewells, nick a bit more difficult before finnick picks him up.

finding yourself across from katniss soon enough, you nod gently. “i’ll stay ahead, if either of us have to get caught it should be and the distraction will let you slip.” she nods, a dark hood over her head and her bow slung across her chest while a sheathe full of arrows rests on her back. luckily, both of you are given enough space and pieces to block the both of you. and just before the door to the aircraft slides shut, you and katniss leap inside and wedge yourselves between the medical supplies across from one another. your gaze looks to katniss’s and she looks at yours. both of you share a look – a look that says there isn’t any turning back.

once the aircraft lands, you stand with katniss and you both exchange a look – your jumpsuit discarded to the side. you both step towards the entrance of the carrier and as the door slowly falls open to reveal a base where supplies lay about and people walk back and forth, you follow close behind her as she steps out first. and the moment she crosses the boundary many eyes flicker over and stare as murmurs fill the air. no doubt a shock to many to see the beloved mockingjay. she keeps her gaze down but her eyes dart around. only when that familiar three finger salute hits the air does she raise her chin and look around as people crowd.

goosebumps crawl along your skin as you look around with her. your head turns when one of the highly regarded troops walks over, a tall brunette with thick brows and dark eyes. gale. “hey.” katniss turns. “i thought you were in the hospital.” his eyes toss you a glance and katniss nods.

“i was.” and she turns, she introduces you. “she’s staying by my side.”

gale hesitates before nods and he holds out his hand. you take it and shake it before he nods behind him. “come on then, both of you.” you both follow him as he leads you through the atmosphere that feels damp and slightly dreary. eventually you find yourself in a crowd of those within district eight.

“i’m commander paylor of district eight.” a lean woman with dark skin speaks into a microphone that sends her voice far. “i’m a soldier like all of you so here’s what i know.” there’s a domineering atmosphere around her, she speaks with the tone of a woman sure of every syllable that leaves her lips. she doesn’t speak like president coin, it doesn’t feel rehearsed but rather real. “for the first time in our lifetimes we’re standing together with thirteen districts. from what i see here, we’ve already made history.” you clap alongside those that roll across the crowds, whoops and cheers sounding out. “but history doesn’t stop to celebrate.” she continues as the crowd quiets. “and we’re facing an enemy that will not change and will never surrender. president snow has pulled back peacekeeper’s to fortify the center of the city. he’d evacuating resident from the outer blocks. these citizens will be confused and desperate. you are under orders to not target them.”

you find yourself breathing in slight relief. your finger toys with the engagement band around your finger.

“we’re deploying medical brigades to help anyone in need. we’ll show the capitol people who we are. to slow our advance president snow is building a minefield of traps.” and your gaze looks to the screen behind her. a layout on display with orange dots that cover more surface than not. your brows twitch and you inhale deeper. “and lethal devices called pods. the sadistic inventions of gamemakers meant to make sport of our death. if our armies make it past peacekeepers and other defenses we’ll converge in the center of the city at snow’s mansion where we’ll not just unlock his gates but unshackle all of panem.”

cheers roll across the crowds but you don’t quite clap or cheer along with the others as your firm expression bores into the sights on the screen behind the woman. wetting your lips, she continues.

“if we die let it be for a cause and not a spectacle. if we succeed let it be for all of panem and let it be forever.” goosebumps crawl along your skin yet again. “yes, you’ve already made history. but the future – our future – starts tomorrow at dawn when we march together into the capitol.” more cheers and applause roll along the crowd.

your eyes flicker to katniss, you share a knowing look with one another. your task together is different than what the task of all hold – neither you nor katniss want snow’s surrender. you both want his death.

gale soon escorts you both to a tent. handed bags and jackets, you and katniss sit beside one another as you begin to pack your things into the slightly tattered dark charcoal-blue crossbody bags. when gale leaves you don’t expect him to return soon but he does, he holds out a weapon to katniss – a gun in a holster before he looks to you and holds it out. “do you know how to use one of these?” he asks with a raise of his brows, you nod gently and he holds it out further. taking the weapon from him, you sense a tension in the tent and your eyes look to katniss. speaking without words, she nods and you stand up.

“i’ll get some air.”

and you leave the two with time alone. strapping the weapon up your thigh not occupied by blades, your gaze turns as you tug on your bag over the jacket you pull on for the cold weather. your last name is called before gale’s and katniss’s are called the same. “come meet your new unit.” a woman with a deep-toned voice orders. you walk over. and your eyes look to the woman with the thin brows and dark – almost black – brown hair tied down into a loose ponytail. “i’m lieutenant jackson and i wanna introduce you to your squad.”

she turns and your gaze looks to those she points to while offering names. first is an older man with a neat brown combover and some age on his soft face. “this is second lieutenant mitchell, best sharpshooter in panem.” next are a pair of blonde twins with their dirty blonde locks pulled back into. “these are the liege sisters, first combat division.” you nod alongside katniss and gale to those who nod to you as a greeting. “and this is corporal holmes.” she finishes with a short man with a groomed beard, mustache, and thin brown hair atop his head. you nod before your eyes flicker past him.

“finnick?” dread spills into you to see the messy-haired man walking over in a dark jacket and a gray top beneath with darker pants leading down to heavy boots. rushing over, you shake your head as you press your hands against his chest. “what the hell are you doing here?” your wide eyes flicker between his sea-green ones and he grins, those dimples prod into his cheeks as he holds your face.

“i know you. i followed you and caught both you and katniss disappearing into the aircraft. i was eagerly let in to come after you guys – president coin doesn’t necessarily trust you.” finnick explains with some amusement off the end of his explanation. you exhale sharply and blink softly as your eyes widen, but before you can speak he drops his hands to your shoulders. “nick’s with hemlock and johanna. they’ll keep him safe.” you sigh in relief and punch him in his chest. glaring at him hotly, he winces and rubs the spot. “i wasn’t going to let you do this alone.”

shaking your head and admitting defeat while your eyes soften, you turn at the sound of a deep voice. “everyone gather around.” the tall and broad commander boggs begins. a handsome and attractive man with a bald head, dark skin, and darker eyes. you walk over and finnick follows with his weapon in hand. once everyone gathers he stands with his hands on his heavy belt while lieutenant jackson stands beside him, her arm resting on the grip of her gun. “squad 451, you’re my unit. lieutenant jackson is my second in command.” and he nods. “each one of you is elite in some form of combat but we are a non-combat unit. so we’ll be following days behind the frontline troops.”

your brows sew as confusion sparks along your chest and mind, you glance to katniss beside you and she shares that look of surprise and confusion.

“you’re to be the onscreen faces of the invasion.” the pretty blonde with a buzz along the side of her head states with her arms over her chest. you recognize her and her crew as those who film the propo videos. your jaw sets as irritation and frustration boils inside of you hotly. “the star squad. it’s been decided you’re most effective when seen by the masses.”

“so we’re not gonna fight.” gale observes plainly.

“it seems like a waste of good people to use for the camera.” you offer after.

“you soldiers will do whatever you’re ordered to.” boggs offers without a moment of nonsense to be tolerated. your jae sets and your hands tighten in their interlaced position in front of you. you look to gale who looks to you before your gaze flickers to boggs. “it’s not your jobs to ask questions or offer opinions.”

“yes, sir.” you both offer in unison.

boggs continues. “our instructions are to shoot propaganda footage on the battle scar street to the capitol.” he nods firmly. “you were hand-picked to intimidate their forces.”

“and inspire surrenders.” the blonde director adds.

“even though we’ll be working on abandoned streets miles behind the frontlines, i guarantee you wherever they put us will not be safe.” boggs says firmly, his deep and smooth voice commanding authority and attention. “this is a war zone. it is likely that we’ll encounter both active pods and peacekeepers. you’re all considered high value targets to the capitol. in the event of capture – you’ll be given a nightlock pill.” he pulls out a little black box. “a poison that acts immediately. lieutenant jackson, do the honors.” he hands it to her and she walks around once opening it.

your eyes look down at the small capsule in your palm. looking to finnick beside you, he seems to ask you something without words. you nod gently in reassurance before you tuck your capsule into the sleeve of one of your blades. then your eyes turn. you listen attentively as boggs explains an electronic used to identify where the pods and attacks are set up. a detailed map soon rises in a holograph as he explains the potential things the pods may hold. you find wariness when he mentions the lack of completion, new pods that may not be on the map. he mentions the self-destruct and the holo that only answers to him unless he transfers ownership.

“we move out in five.”

the group separates and people turn to one another to converse. you look to finnick and grab his arm, pulling him away from the group by just a few feet you meet his sea-green eyes. “the chances of us dying out there are high.” finnick’s brows knit as you drop your hand from his arm. “if it comes down to it – you have to promise me that no matter what you will be the one to live.” he blinks rapidly and he shakes his head.

“what? no – absolutely not. this–”

“finnick.” you interrupt him firmly. his chest slowly rises and falls, he’s growing panicked. reaching out, you hold his face and he leans into your touch, relaxing just a bit. “i love you and you might have been right about my selfishness.”

“no–”

“because i won’t be able to live if you die.” your voice grows tight at the mere thought twists up your insides. licking your lips, you gently sweep your thumbs along his cheekbones. “you love me, right? you’d do anything for me?”

finnick’s jaw tightens and his hands place over yours. “in a heartbeat.” he breathes.

your brows furrow and your eyes hold his. “then live for me. if it comes down to it – promise me that you’ll be the one to live.” finnick’s eyes dart between yours, sea-green eyes already growing glassy. he inhales shakily and his eyes screw shut as his hands squeeze yours tightly. when he nods firmly, you lean closer. “say it.” you breathe, your voice wavering slightly.

his eyes flutter open and he leans down, pressing his forehead against yours. “i promise.” he obliges. you inhale deeply as your hands push forward and wrap around his neck. on the tips of your toes as his arms wrap around your waist, he pulls you up close and holds you tightly. “we’ll both live and we’ll get married and get to enjoy the rest of our lives free from all of this with our beautiful boy. i know it.” he speaks against your ear after a deep and shaky inhale. your eyes flutter shut and stinging hurts your eyes as you hug him tighter.

“yeah…” is all you can muster up knowing the chances of you getting your happily ever after are as slim as your body was in the capitol. but it’s finnick, so you lie again as you kiss his shoulder. “our story will end happily.”

“alright!” boggs barks. “let’s move!”

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pinky promise | katniss e.

𓆉 katniss everdeen x fem reader

summary: katniss made you a promise before the games, and now that she’s back she’s going to keep it.

cw: fluff!!, little angst, but not much, rain kiss scene bc why not??? sfw!!

a/n: first ever post!! might not be the best as im not that good at writing yet but thats ok. beginning takes place before the games and the end takes place after, time jumps are divided by a dash (-)

wc: 1.1k

your hands brush past the rough bark as you move briskly through the trees, keeping your eyes out. you hear a snap of a twig, causing your movements to halt as you listen closely. a hand places itself in the small of your back, causing you to let out a small gasp as you jump away, turning. you smile once you see who the hand belonged to, walking over.

“gosh, you scared me! you have to stop sneaking up like that.” you grin, katniss smiles back.

“if you’re going to be out in the woods, you have to focus better on your surroundings. who knows whats out here.” she replies and you roll your eyes playfully. she reaches out a hand which you take, interlocking your fingers as they brush against her slightly rough skin.

she leads you further into the woods, stopping at the edge of a lake. you let go of her hand and head to the edge, sitting upon a big rock that rests besides the water. you dip your fingers in, relishing in the cool sensation. katniss watches you for a moment before walking over and sitting besides you. you turn to her with a soft smile and she reaches a hand to brush the hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“you always look so pretty, especially surrounded by nature.” you blush slightly, turning your head to look at the lake. she smiles at your reaction.

“i’m serious, you really do.” she says softly, watching over your features, her thumb gently brushing your cheek as she holds the side of your face in her hand.

you and katniss had been seeing each other in secret for a while, not wanting to risk anything with the chance of getting reaped still present for the next few years of your lives. you had known each other for only a few years, but it felt like forever. you chew gently on the inside of your cheek, thinking about the reaping which was upcoming in the next few days. katniss noticed the change in your face and her brows gently furrowed.

“what is it?” she asks, causing you to turn back to her. “what’s wrong?” you sigh softly.

“it’s just the reapings… what if one of us gets picked?” a slight hint of worry is in your voice. her hand still cups your face gently.

“it’ll be fine, they won’t take you from me. i won’t let them.” you shake your head slightly.

“but what if they take you?” she looks you in the eyes, gaze unwavering.

“i’ll come back to you. then we can be together.” you nod before holding up your pinky.

“promise?” you ask, to which she smiles softly.

“promise.” she confirms as she wraps her pinky around yours.

-

you sat on the couch, blunt nails digging into the armrest as you watched the broadcast of the annual hunger games. katniss had volunteered for her sister primrose who had gotten picked, and many things have happened since then. for starters, the male tribute, a bakers boy named peeta, declared he was in love with katniss. to make matters worse, you had to watch them as they kissed. you barely focused on the games after that, tuning in from time to time to get an idea wether or not katniss had survived, yet the bitter feeling of jealousy washed over you. you were never officially together, only in secret, so you couldn’t really be mad. maybe katniss just found something better and assumed because it was private then there wouldn’t be a point in discussing it. your stomach churned at the thoughts.

-

the day had come of katniss’ return. of course, she was returning with her newly found lover, yet all that mattered was she survived. at least, that’s what you tried to believe. you couldn’t ignore the feeling that washed over you when you saw the two of them get off the train together, holding hands. you couldn’t stop yourself from turning around and going home rather than trying to greet the other. you also couldn’t stop yourself from staying locked in your house, avoiding any possible encounters with katniss. you could only avoid the inevitable for so long, however.

you find yourself back at the lake you were at only a few weeks ago, watching the small tadpoles swimming around the clear water. there’s a light sprinkle of rain, raindrops falling softly onto your face. you don’t sit on the rock as you did before, instead standing off to the side. you feel a presence, causing you to turn around. you were greeted by katniss who offered a small smile.

“guess you started focusing on your surroundings.” she says slightly sarcastic. you chew on the inside of your cheek, turning back towards the lake. katniss’ smile drops as she walks over.

“hey, what’s wrong? you’ve been avoiding me ever since the games…” she starts, reaching her hand towards yours. the metallic taste of blood slightly fills your mouth as you bite harder down. you focus your gaze on the tadpoles.

“i’m surprised you even noticed, considering your new ‘star crossed lover.’” you mutter. she brings a hand to cup your face and turn your head towards her. your gaze finally meets hers, her hands are softer than before.

“he’s not my lover. it was for the games.” she breathes out a small sigh through her nose. “you are my lover, nobody can change that.” she smiles, and you feel your heart quicken.

you had been jealous of the boy, enough to not see the accomplishment katniss had made by winning the games. you offer a soft smile, shaking your head slightly.

“i guess i was jealous.” katniss lets out a small laugh.

“why?” you gently bite on your lip, looking down.

“because he got to kiss you.” katniss is silent for a moment, her thumb brushing your cheek.

“he doesn’t get to kiss me now.” she says quietly, causing you to look at her once again. her eyes are soft and she smiles slightly, and she starts to lean in. your eyes flutter shut as her lips meet yours. her lips are slightly chapped, but you could care less. she had come back to you. 

the rain seems to fall harder as you wrap your arms around her neck. after a while, you both pull away to breathe. you smile at her, fingers brushing through her hair she had chosen to keep down.

“i told you, i promised you.” you nod, giggling slightly. you take a moment to look her over, sensing a new level of maturity she gained from the games. even at sixteen, she seemed older.

“what?” she asks, causing you to focus.

“you’re just so pretty.” you say, and she smiles. you giggle slightly as she places another soft kiss on your lips.

she takes your hand in hers, intertwining your fingers together. you lean your head on her shoulder and look back to the lake, the rain going back to a slight drizzle as it splashes gently on the water.

power and control | finnick odair [part seven]

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pulling away, your hands find hers and your fingers interlace. johanna blinks softly at the action and you hold her gaze as you squeeze her hands gently. your voice cracks and breaks, coarse up your throat and from your lips. "if i had to die with someone, you're a pretty great person to die with." johanna blinks rapidly, more tears roll down her sunken cheeks as her resolve dissolves. she shakes her head as you lean in and press your forehead against hers. “i knew you weren’t scary.” you breathe out as she swallows a sob while her hands tighten in yours.

swallowing thickly, she shakes her head against your forehead. “we're not dying here. we'll-we'll get out and you'll see your boy and finnick again." she's lying. you know she is and she knows you know. but she's lying for you. so you still find comfort as you smile at her and she smiles back. then you hear an explosion.

it feels as though death is approaching when you find yourself in the same cell with johanna and peeta is gone. but instead you find salvation and rescue. finally there's no more secrets.

tags to be found below.

cw: implications of sexual assault, mentions of torture

part seven.

a gentle hand sweeps your hair, gently petting you. your body feels the warm and gentle touch yet your mind can’t seem to grasp it quite yet. not when the sudden sound of your son’s wailing and screaming fill your ears. sitting up and gasping as if you’ve been drowned, your eyes look around. “nick! nick!” you scream and a sharp pain takes over your throat. reality sets in as you look around the glass cell and your mind recalls the video that was burned into your mind. panting heavily, you shake your head as a voice behind you falls on deaf ears for a few moments. “finnick!” you shout loudly and when you feel a hand on your shoulder, you turn and grab the wrist roughly. but your eyes meet johanna’s wide ones and you pant heavily as she rips herself from your grasp.

“it was fake. the video was fake.” her voice is calm, it’s as soft as someone like her can muster. your brows twitch and your bottom lip trembles as your eyes look johanna up and down in confusion. it’s really her in the same cell with you, she stands in the paper fabric gown. fair skin has tinted grayish, cheeks sunken in and tired eyes the same. but her head is buzzed now. your brows stitch and you blink rapidly in confusion. when she reaches out, you flinch but you let her hands take your cheeks. “the video was fake. your baby and finnick aren’t here–they’re not here. okay?” blinking rapidly. you absorb her words while tears roll down your cheeks yet again.

with trembling hands, you reach up and place them over her bony ones. she feels cold. but you lean into her touch as you absorb the wide-eyed desperation of a woman who’s trying to comfort you. “it wasn’t real…” you repeat her words. your voice crackles and breaks from the hours of screaming and sobbing. johanna nods gently and you inhale the smell of chemicals and copper while you hold her gaze. “it wasn’t real…” your heart and mind choose to believe johanna, a survival mechanism within you. because if you believe the alternative you may just take your life the next chance you get. slowly calming down, you swallow hard and it hurts. blinking back, you pull from her hands. “what happened?” you breathe.

she exhales deeply and shakes her head. “after you passed out they unhooked you from everything and tossed you into here. then they took peeta i don’t know how long ago.” johanna explains with a furrow in her brows and deep frown that seems to be etched into her face always. then she rubs the buzzcut that must not have been her own choice by the way her eyes dart away in what you recognize as humiliation. “i fought back again so they did this.” she explains quietly and you find anger burning your veins while care and sadness plague your heart.

you’ve grown to like johanna, a lot. comforting her after the abuse while she did the same, peeta was the same. you’d grown close with both, you wish it was under different circumstances. a small smile spreads on your lips and you sniffle as you slowly sit down and criss-cross your legs. “i think it looks cool. compliments your bone structure.” you joke with a lopsided smile weak on your face. your eyes burn slightly. johanna grins in a crooked manner and rolls her sparkling eyes as she sits down across from you. you wet your lips and look around. “i’m worried for peeta…and why did they put me in here?” everything burns and aches you can’t necessarily pin-point where it all hurts exactly.

“no idea.” johanna offers as she chews on her nails. she does it a lot when she’s nervous. your brows knit slowly as you rub one of the sore spots against your throat. and as if she reads your mind that races a million miles a millisecond, she speaks with slight annoyance on her tongue. “they won’t kill him.” you turn to her and she scoffs sharply with a roll of her eyes. “they need to use him to get to the mockingjay.” she uses the nickname and title in a mocking manner. then she meets your gaze and she shrugs gently. “but you might have fucked yourself.” you blink softly and look away. “why did you do that for him? why have you been doing what you do for both of us?” johanna asks with her eyes narrowing at you in something you can’t read exactly.

“what do you mean?” you ask softly as your eyes hold hers.

“you took a broken arm so i wouldn’t get burned.” johanna begins without missing a beat. “you got one of your fingernails ripped out so they’d stop beating peeta. when i spit at the guard you said you told me to do it and you took three shocks – when they tried to break peeta’s hand you started to smash your fists against the door and you took a slash. and when they tried to take me to–” she gets choked up and she flinches, her jaw sets as she looks away and her brows furrow deeply. anger plays at her jaw but tears gather in her eyes. “you offered yourself up…” johanna pushes out. and her gaze meets yours, tears teter on her waterline. “and you probably just killed yourself when peeta was happy to. we have nothing to live for so why do you keep trying to kill yourself for us?” her voice is tight, it shakes and it cracks as she seems to attempt to keep herself. to not let herself unravel.

and you contemplate her words. each injury seems to throb as the memories pour into your mind over the hell you’ve been in for a time you’re unsure of. you wonder why you did all of it for them, why you took so much. but at the same time the answer is so simple, it’s so simple it weakens you and shows the softness that time has given you. you thought you got stronger, better, and colder and yet the sights you’ve seen and experienced have faltered it all. shaking your head gently and looking down at the missing nail on your ring finger, you wet your lips and your brows furrow as your eyes sting.

“just because i have a son and finnick doesn’t make my life worth more than your guys’s lives.” you speak softly, gingerly with a voice gravelly and broken from the hours of screaming. johanna inhales to speak but you’re quicker as you meet her gaze. “besides – katniss needs peeta. and i want you to live.” you smile sweetly at her as you hold her gaze. her lips twitch and her eyes narrow at you as her brows furrow above. when tears slip down her cheeks, she turns away and wipes at them quickly. “thank you for being with me johanna, i don’t mean literally since we have no choice but for trying to fight for me and for comforting me.” with a gentle hand, you bring her gaze back to yours and you lean forward. “i don’t know how i would have survived without you here.”

on your knees, you embrace johanna. she stiffens up beneath your hug before she exhales heavily on your shoulder and her arms wrap around you too. “you’re gonna make me barf…” she mutters against your neck. you laugh lightly as your brows sew up and a sickening realization comes as your eyes flutter around the room you and johanna sit in together. a horrible and nauseating realization of why they might’ve taken peeta and why they’ve put you and johanna together. “thank you too.” johanna offers tightly as her arms tighten around you. “finnick was right – you do give good hugs.” she laughs a bit lightly and you smile against her shoulder before your eyes flutter shut and tears spill down your cheeks.

pulling away, your hands find hers and your fingers interlace. johanna blinks softly at the action and you hold her gaze as you squeeze her hands gently. your voice cracks and breaks, coarse up your throat and from your lips. "if i had to die with someone, you're a pretty great person to die with." johanna blinks rapidly, more tears roll down her sunken cheeks as her resolve dissolves. she shakes her head as you lean in and press your forehead against hers. “i knew you weren’t scary.” you breathe out as she swallows a sob while her hands tighten in yours.

swallowing thickly, she shakes her head against your forehead. “we're not dying here. we'll-we'll get out and you'll see your boy and finnick again." she's lying. you know she is and she knows you know. but she's lying for you. so you still find comfort as you smile at her and she smiles back. then you hear an explosion.

you both jump and turn quickly while releasing one another’s hands. the lights within the building flicker and buzz before they shut off. your eyes widen as you look around the corridors and cells illuminated in red lights. back-ups no doubt. standing with johanna at your side, you hold onto her hand yet again and both of you step away from the door until your backs collide with the wall. your heart hammers in your chest and you wince sharply as your eyes fall down to stitches you didn’t realize you’d open. stitches a part of your punishment with that video you’ll never forget. blood begins to pour out from the slash the peacekeeper went too deep into on your hip.

“f-fuck…” you swear as you stumble forward. johanna catches you with a sharp inhale as your hand presses into your side. blood soaks the white fabric of your gown and the entire front side of your hand rapidly. you blink as the hot pain seems to topple over the rest of the pain. falling to your knees as blood drips onto the ground and your entire body grows cold, johanna grasps you tightly. your eyes look out towards the frosted door and you take notice of the sight of smoke. smoke that begins to bleed through the air holes. white lights pour down the corridor and through the fog. “j-johanna…” you grunt as you lean against her.

“i’ve got you–i’m here.” she reassures you as her hand presses over your wound and the other holds your head to your shoulder. your eyes begin to flutter shut. “just don’t go to sleep. don’t close your eyes.” you inhale sharply as your eyes flutter open, johanna’s voice is foggy and she turns to shield your body when the door suddenly hits the linoleum. it feels as if you’re underwater as you hear loud footsteps and distant voices. “help her first! she’s bleeding!” johanna shouts angrily as you feel her body pulled away from yours. and you fall onto your side with shallow breaths. your eyes refuse to open, you hear a man’s voice deep and smooth but your eyelids weigh as much as ten tons of lead.

you don’t slip into unconsciousness. it feels as it did when you were being dragged out of that room. yet somehow different. there isn’t a sinking pit in your stomach, there isn’t a dread that weighs a ton on your heart. you feel easier, you feel warmer. maybe it helps that amongst a mess of muffled voices johanna’s is clear, yelling at whoever is carrying you to not be so rough. you feel safe. you feel yourself picked up and put down until eventually you do succumb to the darkness once more. and unlike any other time you’ve fallen asleep, this time it doesn’t feel as though you’ve blinked. it feels as though you sink slowly into the stars and the pain no longer exists.

but when your eyes flutter open, the stars spit you out. your eyes flutter for a few moments, cool white lights greet you. furrowing your brows gently, the lights feel a bit harsh and you can feel the touch of various hands. it disgusts you and it makes your skin crawl, but you feel unable to move too well. your body still asleep. beneath you is a soft surface, you feel warm as your body tingles awake. inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling deeper, your eyes flutter open entirely and you look around the room bathed in warm, dim cool lighting. it’s a medical room of sorts, your eyes widen and panic seeps in when your eyes look at the woman beside you.

she gently shakes her head and pushes you down by your chest. “no, no – you’re safe.” you pant heavily as your wide eyes look up at her. she smiles sweetly, a genuine warmth in her gaze and smile. “you’re in district thirteen. you got rescued.” blinking back rapidly as disbelief consumes you, you shake your head and look towards your left to see johanna slowly waking up.

you look around as you try to sit up, grunting and grasping your side. the medic helps you with a gentle hand but you shrug away her touch. it repulses you. “peeta – where’s peeta?” you ask with wide eyes.

“he-he’s here. they rescued him too.” she reassures you quickly as your eyes look down when relief greets you.

you’re in a hospital shirt and pants with easy access buttons along the linings. on a soft blue bed, you look around and take notice of all the needles and wires that are stuck to and into you. lifting the hem of the shirt, you take notice of the care to your stitches, white bandages wrapped around your torso and a plush padding of security over the stitches. the pain in all of your body is more sore than it is painful and agonizing. bandages adorn you all over. your brows sew as you look to johanna who begins to shove away the medics defiantly.

but when your eyes look up to see katniss, your eyes widen and your heart soars. “finnick…” you breathe and you shake your head in disbelief, tears sting your eyes as you begin to rip off the needles and the wires. “finnick!” you shout and those sea-green eyes meet yours. a choked sob leaves your lips as you leap off the bed and run towards finnick who runs towards you. no pain can be found when your body collides with his and your arm wraps around his neck as your other hand pushes the back of his head against you. sobs and joyous laughter of disbelief fill the air as he holds you so tightly you can hardly breathe but you don’t care. he spins you until he stops and you pull back while still in his embrace.

your eyes spill tears as your hand holds his face and he smiles big as he shakes his head. “oh my god…i–i–” he chokes up before he leans in and kisses you so deeply you see stars. tears slip down your cheeks and tears slip down his as you kiss one another until you’re forced to pull back for air. “i–i love you…so much…” he chokes out as he sets you back onto his feet and holds your face. sea-green eyes are wide as they take in the sight of you, you can see the way his heart breaks in his face as his jaw tightens and loosens up. “i will never let anything or anyone hurt you like this again. i promise.” finnick breathes out tightly, desperately as he presses his forehead to yours.

sniffling and sobbing softly as your eyes hold his, your hands hold his wrists as his hands grasp your face. “i love you. i-i’m so happy you’re alive…” your voice drags as you sob softly. planting a kiss against his lips, you sniffle while your hands hold his cheeks and you pull back to truly take him in. in all his beauty. a soft giggle leaves your lips as he kisses the inside of your palm. “how odd seeing you in something not knitted.” he chuckles with a soft sob as he smiles at you, dimples pressing into his cheeks. when you hear the sound of your name past finnick, your eyes look to see hemlock.

and in his arms your son. the beautiful boy smiles big and he reaches out to you. “mama!” he calls out and your entire body feels slack with relief and pure joy. more tears spill down your cheeks and you rush over. taking your beautiful boy in your arms for the first time since your farewell, you crumple to your knees as you hug him tightly with a hand at the back of his head. sobs escape your lips as he keeps his arms around your neck tightly. “i missed you, mama!” he exclaims as he nuzzles his face in your neck. you laugh out between sobs before you pull back and you meet his round face adorned in moles, you hold his sea-green eyes. chubby hands reach out and wipe your face the same way you wipe his tears when he cries. “sad mama?” he asks with a frown.

you sniffle and shake your head as you smile big, tears continue to spill down your cheeks. “no, mama’s happy, baby. my sweet beautiful boy…i missed you so much.” you lean forward and hold his forehead to yours. then he begins to giggle as you pepper kisses all over his face. “mwa! mwa! mwa!” slowly, you stand and you smile at him before your eyes look to hemlock who smiles at you. your brows sew up and you walk over to him with nick in your arms. “th-thank you…thank you so much…” your voice quivers and shakes as more tears roll down your cheeks. you lean in and embrace hemlock with one arm. his arms wrap around your waist.

“i told you to trust me.” he offers as he holds you tightly.

“i’m so happy i did…” you breathe against his neck while on the tips of your toes. pulling back with a big smile, your brows twitch as you reach out and brush a scar across his cheekbone. “what happened there?” you ask with slight concern as you sniffle and feel nick wipe your tears for you.

hemlock points behind you and you turn to see finnick talking with johanna. your eyes widen and you look back to hemlock who grins and chuckles. “yeah our first meeting wasn’t very cordial. i said my name and next thing i know i’m being treated for a black eye, broken nose, and this.” he points to the scar.

exhaling sharply, you blink softly and find yourself a bit warm at the idea of finnick beating hemlock so severely. you brush it away with concern for yourself. you shake your head gently. “how long were we gone?” you ask softly as you look to nick and gently brush his hair back and plant another kiss against his forehead.

“eight weeks.” hemlock offers with a nod. you exhale shakily as your wide eyes fall to the ground momentarily. only eight weeks? it felt like months upon months. “i’m sorry.” your eyes flicker to hemlock, your eyes widening at those words leaving his lips. “i don’t understand love. i don’t feel it but i like you and i care about you, sweetheart. and watching him, getting the shit beat out of me by him, and watching you two in that arena and right now – i’m sorry i took it from you those years ago.” he apologizes with a thread in his brows and his hands folded behind his back. how odd to see him in a drab jumpsuit rather than an expensive ensemble. your brows thread up as he wipes your tears with his knuckles.

“i care about you too. i’m sorry i wasn’t the best wife.” you apologize with a sniffle as you smile up at him.

hemlock smiles. “if i could love anyone you probably would’ve been the one.” he confesses with a deep sigh.

scrunching your nose at him, you shake your head gently. “you being sentimental and sweet is so weird.” laughter fills the air and you look to nick who calls you and puckers his lips. warmth fills your chest and you lean in. “mmmmmwa!” you both say in unison.

“i know you’ve been through hell and there’s a lot for you to catch up on.” your eyes flicker to hemlock. he nods towards finnick with a glance before he looks back down to you. “but when are you gonna tell him?” your heart squeezes at his question and you look to nick before you toss a glance over your shoulder to finnick who seems to be staring beside johanna. he smiles and you smile before turning away.

stepping closer to hemlock, you shake your head gently while you let nick hold your fingers. that archaic language slips from your tongue. “blean lah vrin duean.” [i don’t know yet]

“jubi thon kyetta.” [you’ll have to soon.] and hemlock shakes his head as your brows furrow. “brento dechu seano.” [he loves you.] you inhale deeply and watch as hemlock gently pets down the hair of the child who hardly sees him as a father. but still, he smiles at hemlock.

“i’m just…worried. i’ve kept so much from him and this is–it might be too much.” you confess in a whisper as your eyes look to the beautiful baby boy with those sea-green eyes. “i’m scared.” your breath quivers.

hemlock looks to you as he pulls his hand from the toddler and he smiles at you. “after all you’ve been through – you shouldn’t have fear anymore.” your brows sew up and he nods at you. “you can do it.” a smile spreads on your lips and warmth spreads in your heart. hemlock exhales. “i’ll leave you now, i’ll come by later to take nick to give you time with finnick. i’m sure he’ll fill you in on everything and he can show you around later. i have more business to do with plutarch and president coin.” you nod with acknowledgement. leaning down, hemlock plants a soft kiss against your cheek and you look at him curiously. he grins. “little revenge against your boyfriend for beating me.”

he laughs when you hit his chest, taking a few steps back before he turns away and leaves. with a deep exhale, you feel an odd sense of contentment settle in your heart. you look to nick and smile at him. “wanna meet mama’s friends?” you ask and he nods with an eager smile. you turn around and wince softly as the pain settles into your body. before you can even take a step after your pause, you find finnick’s hand at the small of your back and you turn to him with a sharp gasp.

“are you okay? do you need to sit down?” he asks with a furrow in his brow and glassy eyes darting between yours.

smiling up at him, you shake your head gently. “i’m okay. you just scared me.” you laugh a bit before you look to nick, then you look to finnick. “have you met him yet?” finnick looks to nick and shakes his head gently and you wet your lips as you smile at the beautiful boy. “this is finnick, my beautiful boy. finnick this–this nick but hemlock calls him ivy.” finnick’s brows twitch and he smiles as he looks to nick.

“hey, buddy…” finnick says softly as nick smiles at him. finnick’s heart melts in his eyes. “he has your smile…” he breathes out deeply. and you blink softly as you look around.

“finnick can we go somewhere to talk?”

your entire body feels tense as you hug yourself, your gaze flickering on occasion to the doorway that leads into the medic room. while your heart warms to see johanna handling your beautiful boy with an actual smile on her face and softness in her eyes, you find your entire body tense as you look back to the ground. you fear what you’ll find in finnick’s face or his eyes, your brows stitch tightly and you shake your head. “i-i know it’s probably a lot and i’m sorry but there’s no more secrets. it’s okay if you need some time to–” and your eyes widen when you find yourself picked up off your feet. “f-finnick!” you exclaim as he hugs you tightly.

a loud laugh leaves his lips and he sets you down, his hands hold your face. “i’m a dad…i’m a dad!” he exclaims loudly as he presses his forehead to yours with pure joy and happiness. your brows sew up and a big smile spreads on your lips, pure relief washes through you and you shake your head in disbelief at his reaction. “i love you. i love you. i love you.” the phrase leaves his lips with every kiss against your lips. you smile against his lips and laugh softly. “i–i can’t believe this…wait–does hemlock–”

you nod as you pull from him and look up into his eyes. “yeah he’s known since i found out. but he didn’t care.”

finnick hums, he nods. “i almost feel bad for beating him unconscious.”

“almost?” you ask with a grin.

he snorts and nods. “yeah almost.”

“mama!” nick calls out.

quickly, you squeeze finnick’s arm before you hurry back. soon you scoop him up into your arms, your eyes look to johanna. and you smile sweetly at her, she smiles and shrugs gently. “i told you you’d see them again.” and you smile bigger, you nod as your eyes sting and you look to your beautiful boy. hearing the sound of finnick behind you, you turn and finnick wears a big smile with his brows sewn up.

“can…can i hold him?” finnick’s voice wavers as tears brim his eyes. you smile at him, his eyes flickering from you to the beautiful boy. with a nod, you hold out nick to his father. finnick gently takes him, holding him with an arm under his bottom and a hand gently cupping his cheek. nick blinks softly. and then he smiles and he does what you always do when you hold his cheek, he leans his forehead against finnick’s and finnick exhales shakily while his eyes flutter shut. “my boy…” he breathes as he holds the back of his head.

and for the first time in a long time. it feels like everything is okay.

but something creeps into the back of your mind.

when is it going to be ripped from you?

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power and control | finnick odair [part six]

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time goes by agonizingly slowly. peeta and johanna’s screams sear into your head as yours probably burns into theirs. you’re unsure what day it is, how long it’s been since you’ve been within the prison. but you know one thing...you begin to wish you died in the arena. not at the quarter quell but during your first games.

you're in hell alongside peeta and johanna.

tags to be found down below.

cw: uncomfortable sexual situations, implications of sexual assault, forced drug use, graphic depictions of violence, simulated child death, vomit, depictions of torture, disturbing material

part six.

everything that happened folds into your mind as consciousness coos at you to wake up. being in the arena, the wire being severed – enobaria attacking both you and johanna. johanna hitting her head against a rock and passing out cold. everything had happened so quickly. you soon found your blade plunged into enobaria’s chest but not before the entire arena shook and your eyes bared witness to the dome cracking and snapping open. once the sky was revealed to you you felt panic and fear for finnick, for katniss – for those you’d come to know in such a short time and the man you finally got back. as the pieces fell and explosions sounded out, you picked up johanna and ran the opposite direction to the designated spot. but when you picked her up, a sudden impact against the back of your head sent you to the ground.

now, you inhale deeply and sit up quickly as all the memories slam into you. hot pain shoots up from your brain stem and your eyes snap around the room you’re in. the air is so cold you shudder and shiver in clothes not your own. a paper-feeling fabric of white falls down like a hospital gown on you and a pair of socks crawls up past your ankles but below your knees. touching your face gingerly, you find your wounds bandaged in a professional manner. the air smells of cleaning product, a chemical that stings your nostrils. nothing is in the glass box. and when your eyes look from left to right, you gasp to see johanna and peeta.

you first rush to johanna’s side, peeta still unconscious on the floor of his prison. bright fluorescent lights illuminate a long corridor of glass boxes. all empty except your own and the two tributes you’re with. “johanna!” you shout and she turns to face you, her knees fall from beneath her chin and she rushes over. your brows sew up as you press your hands against the glass. “are you okay?” is the first question to spill from your lips. johanna nods rapidly and you shake your head as your brows sew up, dread and worry fill you like a poison. “finnick…he-he’s not here–where–katniss–” and your heart sinks. “oh my god…my baby – i-if they have me then–oh my god oh my god–”

johanna shouting your name brings your panic to a halt. turning to her she leans close to the glass and she nods with wide eyes. “finnick is okay – katniss is okay too. please just trust me that if they’re not here then they’re okay and safe.” she explains and your eyes dart between her eyes. “and–and your son is okay too. i promise.” tears already slip down your cheeks as you pant and breathe heavily, your heart squeezing and mind unsure of whether to believe johanna or not. she could be lying to get you to calm down, but there’s a desperate urgency in her eyes. nodding slowly, you swallow thickly and you turn.

crawling over to where peeta lays. you begin to slam your fists on the glass. “peeta!” you shout. “peeta wake up!” slowly, the honey blonde boy stirs in his fetal position. his clothing is the same paper material and stark white – everything is white – it sickens you. when his eyes flutter open, he has more or less the same reaction you had and you imagine johanna must have had. peeta sits up quickly and panic immediately washes over his features as he looks around. when he calls katniss’s name, you slam your hand on the glass. “she’s okay!” his eyes snap to you and you nod rapidly as you hold his eyes. slowly, peeta crawls over. “she’s okay…i promise.” you breathe softly as you hold his teary gaze.

suddenly a whirr draws all three sets of eyes towards the glass doors frosted in appearance compared to the clear glass walls. your brows stitch together as a screen soon appears from a small mechanism in the wall opposite the door. with ease and caution you make your way back to the middle of your box no bigger than eight feet by eight feet. and a hot anger pours through you when president snows face comes on screen, and as his words spill through the air you come to a horrific realization.

“citizens. tonight i address all of panem as one. since the dark days panem has had an unprecedented era of peace. it is a peace built upon cooperation. and a respect for law and order. in the past weeks you have heard of sporadic violence following the actions of a few radicals in the quarter quell.” your jaw tightens and your wide eyes glare hotly, as if you could make him drop dead through the holograph. “those who choose this destructive path, your actions are based on a misunderstanding of how we have survive. together. it is a contract. each district supplies the capitol. like blood to a heart. in return the capitol provides order and security. to refuse work is to put the entire system in danger. the capitol is the beating heart of panem, nothing can survive without a heart.” and the screen splits to show citizens by trios kneeling before peacekeeper’s. your hand falls over your mouth with a shaky gasp. “the criminals that kneel before you use symbols for the purpose of sedition. which is why all images of the mockingjay are now forbidden. possessing them will be considered treason. punishable by death. justice shall be served swiftly. order shall be restored.” ice pools inside of you and tears roll down your cheeks as the realization truly settles in. “to those who ignore the warnings of history…prepare to pay the ultimate price.” shots fire and their bodies hit the ground, you turn away with a whimper and drop your face into your hands.

that whirr disappears and you sob into your hands in disbelief as peeta utters what you three already know. “we’re in the capitol.” crumbling to your side. you shake your head as your tears spill into your trembling and quivering hands. soft sobs leave your lips as you roll onto your back and drop your hands. it feels exhausting to feel so much, to be slamming with fear, concern, and worry over everything. a revolution must be happening, and yet you’re in the capitol in a glass box where fluorescent lights burn down into your retinas. tears slip down your temples and you sniffle as you shake your head. “my baby…” you whimper as your hands fall over your stomach and your eyes screw shut.

“we can’t lose ourselves in here.” johanna’s voice filters through the glass. sniffling as you shake your head, johanna hits the glass once and your eyes drag to her. “you cannot lose yourself in here. do you hear me? you have finnick and your baby to return to – and you – katniss needs you, peeta.”

your brows sew upwards and you find some warmth, some comfort in johanna’s attempt to calm you and peeta down. sniffling, you know she’s right. you won’t let them win and you have people to return to. slowly, you sit up and wipe at your face while breathing deeply to calm yourself down. tossing a look to peeta, he wipes his face and nods firmly as he meets your eyes. you smile and look down at your hands with a crease between your brows.

“thank you.” peeta suddenly says and you turn to him. he holds your eyes. “for going so katniss could stay with me. i-if you had stayed you wouldn’t–” his voice breaks and his jaw shifts.

“you love her, right?” you breathe as you slowly crawl over and press your hands to the glass. peeta’s jaw tenses and loosens, furrowing his brows with tear-filled eyes, he nods. swallowing hard, you pull on a sweet and warm smile. “you’ll see her again. we just–they wouldn’t leave us here. they’ll come for us. just hold on – okay?” your voice is soft, reassuring and sure. but you feel as if you’re speaking more to yourself than to peeta. still, peeta smiles sadly and he nods gently. you pull away from the glass with a soft exhale.

when the sound of the door opening hits your ears, you turn with a sharp inhale. your wide eyes look at a peacekeeper that steps in with a gun across their chest and something in their hand. an envelope. and when your eyes flicker to peeta’s glass box it’s as if it’s a reflection. a peacekeeper steps in and the door shuts behind them. only when you feel the envelope hit your chest and fall to your lap do you turn around. “memorize this.” the peacekeeper orders, his voice deep and slightly warbled. your brows furrow as you look down and pick up the envelope.

ripping open the paper, you tug out a piece of paper folded three times downwards. as you read along the perfectly typed lettering, you blink rapidly and realize it’s a script. a script that paints you as a traitor to your allies and districts while favoring the capitol, a script that calls for a cease on the revolting and rebelling. your eyes take notice of lines that say caesar flickerman’s name, your name, and peeta’s. anger rushes through your veins as you look to a shocked peeta. the capitol is using both of you as propaganda. a sharp scoff leaves your lips and you crumble up the paper, tossing it as his helmet.

“you’ve lost your mind. i’m not saying any of that.” you spit harshly as your eyes burn through that pane of tinted glass concealing his identity.

and the peacekeeper stares at you for a few seconds, a few seconds too long – your heart begins to quicken and your furious atmosphere draws your brows together while he slings his weapon across his back. when he reaches into his belt stacked with various things, your eyes widen when he swings out a baton. standing quickly, you back up against the wall with wide eyes. “no! get away from her!” johanna shouts through the glass, slamming her fists loudly. “you fuckers!” and your eyes screw shut when a sudden hit connects with your side still healing from the slash. you fall forward onto your knees while grasping your torso. rough kicks to your stomach and a hard baton against your back draws cries of pain and agony from you.

your vision blurs with tears and you gasp for air as the beating comes to a stop only a minute later. grasping at your own body with soft cries and whimpers, your face twists into one of pain and agony. as tears slip down your temples, your head lolls to the side and you watch as the peacekeeper walks over to the crumbled paper. kicking it towards you, you flinch when it hits your face and stops on the sleek polished linoleum floor. your brows furrow and your glaring eyes narrow up at the peacekeeper.

“have you changed your mind?” he asks in a deadpan manner as he stops beside you as you roll onto your side.

inhaling deeply, you exhale deeper as you slowly sit up while grasping your tender ribs. grunts of pain and soft cries of sharp hot stinging fumbles from your grinding teeth. your teary eyes flicker through the glass to peeta who lays on the ground with a peacekeeper standing over him. he must have refused too. your eyes look back to the peacekeeper and your eyes narrow at him. “fuck you.” you spit venomously. you refuse, you won’t put down your friends and the rebellion panem’s needed for decades. no matter what they do to you. and yet fear spills into you as he closes the baton and shoves it back into place.

“hemlock graves.” the peacekeeper begins. “nick ivy graves.”

your heart drops. your son.” looking to johanna, she shakes her head. “they don’t have him! he’s lying! i promise–” and johanna’s head turns when her door slides open. your eyes widen and you try to run towards her as a peacekeeper walks in. but you find yourself pulled back when a hand grabs a fistful of your hair. “get the fuck off of me! fucking–” johanna’s swears and shouting turns to grunts of pain and agony as the peacekeeper begins to punch her in her face. only then do you realize they’re keeping yours and peeta’s face perfect. when he yanks your hair harder you cry out and look up at him.

do you believe johanna? what if she’s trying to save you? the rebellion? your brows sew up as the peacekeeper holds the uncrumpled and wrinkled script in front of your face. tears blur your vision as your jaw tightens, pure anguish and ferocity burn through your veins as you shake your head stiffly. “you’re lying…you-you don’t have them…” you spit through gritted teeth. the peacekeeper hums as he roughly tosses you to the ground. you hit the ground hard and quickly scramble to your feet as he steps back. your own back presses against the tile wall across from the door. your glaring and burning eyes watch as he tugs a radio from his belt at his back. johanna’s noises have come to a stop, you don’t look to her cell, peeta’s gone quiet too. you don’t look to his cell either.

“give me audio from unit two.” the peacekeeper speaks into the radio.

and your eyes widen when you hear the wailing of your baby boy. your beautiful boy. tears spill from your eyes and you put out your hands. “okay! okay! i’ll–i’ll do whatever! please!” you scream and plead as you crumble to your knees and fold your hands in front of you. hot anguish courses through you and you shake your head as you sob out. “j-just stop…” you plead as your head drops and your hands ball up against your aching heart. silence falls into the air until the sound of footsteps approaches. you let out a choked sob and cover your mouth when the page is dropped in front of you. your eyes finally look over to peeta and he’s looking down at the script. when his eyes meet yours, you lower your hand and nod gently.

then you turn away and your trembling hand picks up the paper, you sniffle and wince as you shift onto your behind and criss-cross your legs. looking down at the script, your brows see up and your bottom lip trembles. “i’m so sorry…” you mutter aloud as your tears hit the wrinkled page. and your lips move as you go over the lines you’ll no doubt be put in front of a camera to recite. and later on while you’re being dragged from your room with tight restraints on your wrists and ankles while a cattle rod is pressing against your back, you know you’re assumptions are correct. a blindfold is removed when you reach a room gray in color.

looking around, you stand beside peeta as your restraints are undone and removed. you’re in a dressing room with two tall mirrors with glowing light bulbs, beside the mirrors hang two black clothing sleeves to conceal whatever lies beneath. people in all white stand around, they fix carts of makeup and hair products and tools. your brows sew and your heart pounds in your throat as they offer plastic smiles. it’s scary, unnerving. they’re almost not human yet you know they are. a rough shove to your back from the peacekeeper behind wobbles your legs and you find peeta’s arms grab you.

“are you okay?” he breathes as he helps you steady your balance. your brows furrow upwards and you nod gently when you meet his eyes. two plastic smile capitol stylists call your names to opposite sides of the room. giving peeta as much a reassuring smile as you can, you gently squeeze his arm before you both separate.

you’re soon sat in a chair, wincing and flinching as your ribs throb and ache while your spine drags with hot pain. the stylists don’t speak anymore. they don’t even drop their plastic smiles, it makes your nerves buzz with an uneasiness. they apply your makeup beautifully, over the bandages that cover the stitches of your wounds. looking into the vanity beside the tall mirror, you blink away the sting in your eyes. it nauseates you as they apply the white mascara on your lashes and form a red heart on your lips. they style your hair as it used to look in the capitol, you shudder.

eventually you find yourself in front of the tall mirror, when one of the stylists tries to undo the tie that keeps your white hospital dress closed – you turn quickly and smack her hand away. inhaling deeply, your eyes look to the peacekeeper that swings open his baton. you flinch and your eyes look to the stylist, tears begin to sting your eyes. “i-i can do it myself…” you choke softly as you turn around and the stylist steps back. she walks over to the black back and unzips it. but you don’t focus on anything but the eyes you feel burning into you as your trembling hands drop the fabric. covering your bare breasts, a tear rolls down your cheek as you feel disgust and bitterness crawl at your skin while you stand in front of the peacekeepers in your underwear and socks.

in the mirror bruises already form along inflamed ribs. you lift your foot at the instruction of a stylist and she takes off your sock. the other foot. your bare feet touch the cool smooth surface of the pedestal. once more you lift your foot at their instruction, they place a pretty heel on you, a cream shade of white. you tremble and shake as more tears spill, you just want to put clothes on. you don’t want to stand vulnerable and borderline nude in front of those who’ve seen you in ways you never wanted to be viewed. thankfully, you find a corset on your body soon enough. you cry out as they tighten the strings, your eyes flutter by the time the corset is done. but before they can pull the cream colored dress onto you, you fall forward and a stylist catches you.

dizzy from the blinding pain, one of your ribs practically pushing into your lung, you struggle to breathe. a peacekeeper walks over and your eyelids flutter as he grabs you by the nape of your neck and pulls your back against his body. a rough hand slaps you across the face and you cry out as your alertness sparks along the hot pain in your face. blinking softly, you stand up straight and roughly pull yourself from his touch. the stylist doesn’t waste time in pulling the satin cream dress onto your body. it cinches at your waist with a sleeveless collar that turns upwards in a long v-shape. you exhale shakily as your hand presses to your tender ribs.

soon you and peeta find yourselves in another room without your blindfolds after transfer. dread pools into the pits of your stomach as you fan your face with your restrained hand. anger sparks along your nerves as you look to caesar flickerman who receives a touch-up from a smiling stylist. the showman looks as if he’s fine, as if everything is fine. and as the restraints around your wrists and ankles are undone you contemplate dying for the sake of showing the camera what’s happening. but you have to live – for your baby and for finnick. you look to peeta and look away as you’re led to two seats while cameras and lights surround the atmosphere.

you exhale shakily and screw your eyes shut as you sit down and grab your ribs. caesar sits down across from you and peeta, he clears his throat and repeats a tongue twister. and you suddenly feel peeta’s hand on top of yours. you turn to his hand on top of a fist you didn’t notice you formed before you look to his eyes. “they’ll know it’s not us…” he breathes as he nods. “they know us.” he repeats with an encouraging nod. you wet your lips and your expression turns firm, squeezing his hand, you nod and he pulls his hand away. you turn at the sound of the camera man counting down.

“hello. good evening and a big welcome to all in panem.” caesar begins with a grave expression and a solid infliction on his voice. you refrain from scoffing as you straighten up despite the agonizing pain that sears through you. “i’m caesar flickerman and whoever you are, whatever it is you’re doing – if you’re working, put down your work. if you’re having dinner, stop having dinner. because you are going to want to witness this tonight.” he pauses and nods. “there has been rampant speculation about what really happened in the quarter quell. and here to shed a little light on the subject for us are two very special guests. please welcome, peeta mellark and…” for a moment your name zones out of your head and you put on a neutral expression as your knee crosses over the other and your hands fold on your lap. you feel the camera panning to you, you blink softly as caesar continues. “now you two – a lot of people feel as though they’re in the dark.”

peeta nods and he exhales softly. not a waver. you wonder how he’s such a good performer, then again you don’t even know how you’re such a good performer. “well we both know how they feel.” he glances to you and you nod while humming in agreement.

caesar chuckles. “now, so set the stage for us. talk us through what really happened on that controversial second night.”

with a soft inhale, you shake your head and speak clearly – calmly. “well first of all you have to understand that when you’re in the games all you wish for is your survival. but being in the games…it–it feels as if there’s more at risk than your life. i mean i for one–” your hand tightens. your thumb sweeps the scar across your knuckles. “had to put down the lovely people in the capitol and the games themselves in order to make it in that arena. and peeta well–”

“it-it never gets easier to kill innocent people. to lie and manipulate for survival.” peeta finishes with a firm nod and you nod with a hum while dropping your hand that gestures to him. then he shakes his head. “but in that arena – all i can ever focus on is katniss. her survival is what mattered to me.”

“yes of course.” caesar hums with a nod then he looks to you. “and you of course – as we all saw – have held a big secret, correct, my dear? johanna mason revealed it after you’d proclaimed a shocking revelation yourself when you nearly died.”

your heart begins to ache. your ribs throb. “the games is about survival and manipulation, caesar. the only reason i turned my back on the capitol and made that stupid proclamation and played lovebirds with f–finnick odair–” your eyes flicker to all the peacekeepers in the room. everything hurts. clearing your throat, you shake your head gently with a smile. “was to get the target off of my back. yes, i did come to enjoy their presence and even peeta and i have become well-acquainted but ultimately my heart is with the capitol.”

“so then you must feel quite…sour towards katniss everdeen yes?” caesar inquires with a raise of his brows and gesture of his hand.

you shake your head gently. “no–no–katniss did not know what she was doing.”

“none of us knew about this big plan that was apparently happening.” peeta continues with a shake of his head.

the showman and host hums with a nod. “well you can’t blame those who find all of this suspicious, correct?” you and peeta nod according to the script that’s still present in your head. “many believe – a-and it seems – that katniss may have been part of this little…radical attack and plan.”

“you think she planned to become paralyzed by lightning? to–to get seared with the fire as the arena came crashing down?” peeta asks with a raise of his brows and you wave a hand as you shift in your seat. hot pain shoots through you.

“no. none of us were aware of this little plot these–radicals had. not i, not peeta, and not katniss.” you offer.

caesar nods and he places a hand against his heart. “well, i believe you both. and i–wanted to get your comments on the unrest as an entirety.” he puts out a hand as if he’s concerned. “though if it’s too much for either of you – i know you’ve both been through a lot – you don’t need to.”

“no we–” peeta looks at you and you look at him with a nod of false encouragement. “we’d be fine, we actually discussed this.” he replies as he shifts in his own seat. caesar nods and gestures for you both to continue. peeta’s gaze looks to the camera and he nods. “we want anyone who’s watching right now to hear this – stop.” his voice is firm. “and to think about what a civil war could mean for panem. for all of us. we almost went extinct before.”

your own eyes look to the camera. “there is nothing that is worth the lives we could lose and we have lost during all of this. we are looking to all of you to find some sense, to look at your children and your loved ones and realize that their lives are at risk.” your entire body feels cold. everything still hurts.

leaning forward, caesar raises his brows slightly. “so – correct me if i’m incorrect – you two, from vastly different beginnings and lives, believe there should be a ceasefire?”

“yes.” you and peeta offer in unison.

“this is not the path of change.” peeta nods.

“we won’t get justice with senseless violence.” you add.

and as caesar flickerman closes the interview, your throat tightens and you look to peeta who stares straight ahead. his eyes are almost empty, you wonder if he was here in the interview. but then again – you weren’t necessarily. your brows stitch and the moment the cameras go off, you exhale shakily and drop your face into your hand. a soft cry leaves your lips and your brows sew up as you feel restraints around your ankles.

time goes by agonizingly slowly. peeta and johanna’s screams sear into your head as yours probably burns into theirs. you’re unsure what day it is, how long it’s been since you’ve been within the prison. but you know one thing...you begin to wish you died in the arena. not at the quarter quell but during your first games.

then johanna had finally spilled everything to you after you took a severe beating that resulted in your arm snapping. the rebellion, the importance of katniss, the entire reason for all that happened in the arena and everything that was happening. you didn’t know why she told you at the time – you didn’t know why until you found hope. hope that hemlock would keep his promise, hope that with katniss alive, your baby was okay and not within the capitol and finnick was safe. you found yourself getting close with her and peeta, but it was agonizing – peeta seemed to receive the worst of the treatment and you knew why. the mockingjay was their goal and peeta was her weakness.

the only food you were given was in the form of mush in syringes down your throat, water bottles tossed at you like you were dogs, and the medics that kept you alive did the bare minimum. after beatings, electrocutions, burnings, and things you couldn’t ever unlive – you felt you were going to shut down soon. but you were trying hard, you were trying so hard for your baby. your beautiful boy. and finnick.

furrowing your brows upwards as you go over the script in your mind for the interview you’re currently being led to – only the second interview – you find some hope at the mention of explosions across one of the districts. the rebelling isn’t stopping and you find your heart lighting up because of it. there’s no threat of attack with your treatment, the peacekeepers know it with no blindfolds and no restraints on your ankles. they seem careless in your talking just the same, standing a few paces behind with their guns slung across their torso’s. but you and peeta aren’t in any mood to talk, both of you look as bad as you feel. even with the makeup and formal attire on. everything hurts and your body feels like lead.

peeta gently nudges you and you flinch. turning to face him with a furrow in your brow and curious look in dim eyes, you notice the sweat on his skin and tears brimming in his eyes. cheeks sunken and honey blonde hair thinning. “they’re going to bomb where katniss and finnick are…” he whispers to you as the peacekeepers talk behind both of you. your eyes widen and he quivers as he shakes his head. “i-i’m going to wa-warn them…” blinking rapidly as dread spills down into you hotly, you shake your head as you glance back before you step closer to him in your heels.

“no…no peeta–you–anymore torture and you’ll die.” you whisper with a quivering voice.

“i have to. they’ll die.” he whispers sharply.

“shut up. both of you.” a peacekeeper demands sharply.

and as you both oblige, you look straight ahead and your lashes flutter as tears sting your eyes. as your eyes flicker to peeta who looks one hit too hard from dying and that’s with makeup, his hair done, and his clothes nice – you think of hemlock and the promise you made him keep with your baby. you think of the secret you might never be able to tell finnick. but you think of peeta, a sweet man in love with the face of the rebellion – the reason for the rebellion – and as you enter the interview room, you come to a choice.

the cameras flicker on and the lights sear into your watery eyes as you sit beside peeta. he’s the first to speak as with the script. “tonight, we’ve received reports of derailed trains, of granaries on fire, and of a savage attack on the hydroelectric dam in district five.” he exhales shakily and you wet your lips as you shake your head.

“we are b-begging…” your hands begin to quiver and shake, your eyes sweep around the room to the peacekeepers and to peeta who struggles to keep his head up. then your eyes look to caesar flickerman. fear drowns you yet you turn to the cameras. “i love you…” you breathe as tears brim on your waterline. peeta’s gaze looks to you and you wet your lips. “they’re coming. they’re gonna kill everyone – all of you need to hide before they bomb district 13–” the cameras slam to the ground and you hit the ground after the grip of a gun slams across your face.

“no! why did you do that!” peeta screams as he’s yanked back by a peacekeeper. “you have a kid! why didn’t you just let me–” his screams become muffled and your teary eyes flutter as dizziness takes over.

blood pours from the split on the inside of your cheek onto the carpet as rough kicks hit your ribs and healing torso again. your blurry vision watches peeta being pulled out of the room as bile rises up your throat. the little food in your stomach splatters onto the ground, acid burns your throat and your eyelids feel heavy. darkness tunnels your vision as you’re pulled up by a fistful of your hair. you’re numb, you hurt so much you can’t feel it as you’re being dragged out of the room by your hair.

and you can’t even begin to imagine what awaits you.

you come to consciousness and unconsciousness as you’re pulled and carried. only when you slam against a steel table in your small glass cell. do you come to alertness with the assistance of a clear liquid pushed out of a syringe and into your system. you gasp and grab at your throat before the peacekeepers force your hands down and begin to restrain you. whatever they injected into you burns your insides and increases your heartbeat, you breathe heavily as the taste of vomit and blood occupies your mouth. you cry out as they peel back your eyelids with the force of two clamps to keep your eyes open.

your fists ball up and loosen as your eyes watch a screen illuminate above you. and your heart stops when you look to screen and see him. your beautiful baby boy in finnick’s arms crouched in a corner. “n-no…no–no–” a peacekeeper approaches them both and you try to turn away, you try to shut your eyes but you can’t. sobs and pleas begin to leave your lips as a gun is raised.

“it’s not real!” johanna shouts through the glass desperately. “i promise you! it isn’t real!”

“l-listen to her! it’s not real!” peeta shouts. but their words feel deafening on a mind that’s been broken time and time again. when the gun fires and a gunshot rings through the air, you scream as your beautiful boy does in the arms of a dead finnick. and as the gun lowers, you shake your head. “he’s okay! it’s n-not him! it’s–” a blood-curdling scream leaves your lips and you thrash on the table as the gun fires off and the child wailing comes to a halt. blood splatters and you cry out so painfully it burns your throat and the metal hooks to keep your eyes open may just tear open your eyelids.

and the video plays again. and again. and again.

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power and control | finnick odair [part five]

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the words must be struggling against your lips that twitch as your arms remain crossed over your chest. “finnick…” you breathe his name as your eyes flutter shut. concern and worry oozes into him as he feels your hands gently place over his own. your eyes flutter open and you inhale deeply. pulling his hands down and squeezing them, you jump and finnick flinches when johanna’s voice fills the air.

“alright lovebirds! let’s go! all of you!” she shouts loudly. finnick turns to see beetee standing while johanna swings her ax by her side. finnick looks back to you and you exhale the deep breath with a smile.

“later.” you nod gently.

a reconnection is severed.

tags to be found below.

cw: none!

part five.

the air is cold against his skin and the waves crash on the sands of the beach. finnick’s brows knit together as his gaze watches the sea and the glitter of the sky against the water. everyone sleeps soundly, a plan concocted for the final kill on enobaria who somehow managed to escape despite the trident he pierced through her hand she caught. the cannon still had yet to fire off, she’s still alive. come midnight tomorrow – or today as midnight’s passed – everything should be as it is, as it was designed for the girl on fire. but finnick can’t think of anything else as johanna stirs awake on the sand beside your body, all he can mull over and suffocate himself with is the truth and the years he’s wasted.

years in which he was bitter, hateful, resentful, and broken inside. all he could ever do was blame you for doing that to him. he thought you didn’t love him, he thought everything you did truly was a manipulation tactic and ploy. all these years he couldn’t even see your face on the screens, he couldn’t hear your name without flinching. then came the announcement of the games. how horrible he was to feel joy – happiness that you were no longer untouchable by the fate you “chose”. when he saw you for the first time in years, standing before mags and smiling at her that damn smile he knew he was screwed. his entire plot for revenge, his entire want fueled by bitterness, betrayal, and revenge fell flat.

finnick tried. he tried to act on what his mind should have. finnick tried to be mean, to be cruel, to be something he wasn’t and something he didn’t want to be. but it burned him each time. it ached and it hurt, every interaction with you he found himself yearning with desperation. getting close just to smell you, threatening you and knocking into you just to touch you. like a man that’s been starving for years has his favorite meal in front of him. but your replies and responses, your threats and glares like those when you had met him – all they did was confirm in his mind that what happened all those years ago was real. you used him, you got married and had a baby with another man.

but in the arena he’d wavered. you risked your life for mags, you saved peeta’s life, you pulled him into the water and held him. you held him like you had so long before. but then you pulled away. he tried to push you away again, he tried as his grief for mags was limited without the luxury of properly mourning. but then as he came up from the water with johanna and beetee, his heart stilled when peeta ran over. the words that left his mouth kept his heart in his throat and left his limbs heavy.

“she ran after your screaming.”

jabberjays. he knew it the moment it was said. running after you and calling your name, there was no hatred, no bitterness, no anger – all he was suffocated with was concern and dread. fear. fear that you’ll be dead before he can confess, confess that his heart never wavered and beneath the sour layers lay a love not even you murdering him could take away. then he reached the forcefield and that fear suffocated him, your expression of pure fear stained with tears broke and shattered his heart in a way annie and his child’s death had. you took down brutus with such ease, but enobaria was smart. she used him against you – how selfish of him that he found warmth that he could be used against you.

then your blood splattered against the forcefield. katniss’s screams and johanna’s burn and sear into his mind still as his half-lidded eyes burn into the waters. finnick ran, he ran as quickly as he could and he ignored the burning in his lungs and legs until he found himself in the atmosphere that seemed almost too perfect against you. because not a single jabberjay came. enobaria escaped but he didn’t care, he didn’t care as he held your limp body in his arms. all he cared about was you, all that burned through him was hot, blinding, nauseating fear that he may hear a cannon fire off. it was music to his ears before but it’d be a death toll for him now.

and johanna spilled everything the moment he laid you on the sand. guilt. guilt danced a deadly dance with fear inside of him. and they dance together yet again as finnick wonders how difficult it’s been. you truly hate the capitol, you hated the capitol and you loved him. but you wanted him to live, you wanted mags to live. and finnick was cruel.

finnick exhales shakily as johanna sits up and rubs her eyes after dusting the sand off of her. he pulls from his own thoughts as his eyes fall to your body beside johanna. “what if she doesn’t wake up…?” he breathes so quietly into the night air it hardly feels like there's a disturbance. there’s a split across your cheek and on your bottom lip, bruising forming along your jaw and blood still staining the fabric of your suit. johanna sits up and she pulls the ointment a sponsor sent you, hemlock, from beneath the sand. “her last memory of me will be me being an asshole.” finnick speaks slightly clearer, louder.

“she’ll wake up.” johanna’s voice is laced with slight annoyance as she opens the canister and begins to apply the ointment along your skin yet again. but there’s a certain gentleness to her tone as she applies the ointment gingerly. “she has a kid to live for.” she points out before she shakes her head gently. then her gaze flickers to finnick’s who’s gaze bores into you. you took so many hits to the head and ribs. “hey.” blinking softly, finnick looks at johanna with a sting in his eyes and lethargy on his arms. she furrows her thin arched brows slightly and shakes her head. “you were reacting reasonably for someone who got their heart broken. i bet she knew that.”

you probably did. yet still his guilt and fear only worsen. inhaling deeply, exhaling just the same, his brows stitch slightly and he smiles in a crooked manner at johanna. exhaustion pulling at his eyelids and smile. “you warmed up to her quickly.” he observes as she rubs the ointment onto the fabric of her leg before she closes the empty canister with obvious irritation and annoyance. she glares at finnick hotly before she scoffs.

“you know why i’m being uncharacteristically merciful.” johanna offers pointedly, her voice lowers and quiets.

“to katniss yes.” finnick grins. “but to her?”

a sharp scoff escapes her lips again and she drops her gaze down to your face, your head laying in her lap. finnick notices the way her thin lips twitch as her brows furrow deeply. johanna shakes her head gently and gingerly brushes a piece of hair away from your face. “she said i wasn’t scary.” her voice is uncharacteristically soft but still holds that edge. finnick blinks slightly and she shakes her head with a wry chuckle. “maybe we would have been good friends.” johanna mutters as she tilts her head just a bit. finnick finds a slight warmth for johanna, to see her easing up slightly – for you is unexpected, you’re not necessarily the friendliest.

so he thought. but a lot of time has passed. you’ve changed. you’re softer. maybe because of your son.

“if things go according to plan you still can be.” finnick hums. johanna’s lips twitch into a momentary smile as she nods. there’s only a momentary lull of silence before a sharp inhale draws finnick’s sea-green eyes to you. sitting up quickly as johanna does, he calls your name with disbelief washing through him. you stir on johanna’s lap and he kneels beside you on the sand. when your eyes flutter open, his lips part for a shaky exhale of pure relief. the relief that washes over him is like a cold wave hitting a burning fire. “thank god…” he chokes out as your brows twitch and you try to sit up.

“no. no. lay down.” johanna orders quickly and you whimper softly as she pushes down your hand that attempts to press to your wounds that must ache and throb unbelievably rough. “are you okay? can you remember anything?” she asks the questions that burn and sear into finnick’s mind. your eyes flutter shut and open as you grunt and grind your teeth with discomfort and pain. finnick’s hand gently reaches out to smooth down your hair slightly crunchy with your blood and brutus’s.

i-i’m okay…” wetting your lips, your brows furrow. “i–the last thing i remember is–being under enobaria…where am i? what happened?” your voice is dry, it’s coarse. when your eyes flicker towards finnick’s, he blinks softly and feels his heart squeeze at the surprise that paints your face. “f-finnick…?” you breathe out his name and he nearly crumbles as tears sting his eyes. johanna clears her throat and she gently lifts your head to help you sit up, finnick looks to her and she nods.

“i’ll get you some water and try to get some food.” she says before she stands and walks away.

sitting up, you wince sharply as your hand presses into your forehead and your other grasps at the sand. finnick reaches out and he gently grasps your shoulders. he feels you stiffen up beneath him, your eyes look to his and they search his. as if he’s reading your mind despite all the time that’s passed, he exhales shakily and nods. “johanna told me everything.” he admits as his hands slowly pull away from you. your eyes widen and your lips part, he refrains from doing what he wants. from kissing you until he passes out, from hugging you so tightly your heart might just meld with his. your eyes dart as if trying to piece everything in your mind, then your bottom lip trembles and tears brim along your waterline.

“i’m so sorry…” you choke out as tears spill down your cheeks.

and immediately, finnick’s self restraint dissolves and he reaches out. his hand grabs the back of your head and his arm wraps around you. pulling you close against him, he pets your head while shaking his head and gently rocking. finnick feels your hands bunch up in the fabric of his suit against his back. “no. i’m sorry…i–i’m sorry for everything and i’m sorry you were forced into that–but–” finnick shakes his head and his eyes screw shut as tears slip down his cheeks. pain and ache wash through him hotly. “why did you do it…? you could have told me – you could have talked to me.” and you sniffle as you pull away, his hands hold your face gingerly as your hands rest against his chest.

“i–i couldn’t. i made my choice because i know you–i know you would have done everything to avoid the end.” you confess with a quick manner of speaking as your teary eyes hold his. finnick’s brows furrow upwards and he sighs shakily as you look up into his eyes. “i sold my life away for yours, f-for mags.” pain flashes in your eyes and his eyes flicker between yours as you swallow thickly, your brows sew up as your lips part and shut. “because i lo…i love you, finnick.” you cry those words he’s wanted to hear since the moment your hands took his heart and even after your hands were forced to drop it and shatter it. finnick blinks back rapidly and he presses his lips against yours.

the broadcast doesn’t matter, the cameras don’t matter. and as you kiss him harder he knows the pain doesn’t matter. finnick’s entire body washes with warmth as he feels your lips against his. it feels as if years of mourning, grief, and opportunities that passed fold into the kiss so deep and hard he can taste the copper of your wound and the ointment that’s spread over it. you both pull away for air, gasping and panting heavily while holding one another’s face, big smiles paint your features while tears stain your cheeks. sea-green eyes meet yours and finnick laughs out happily as he shakes his head, everything is bad, everything is deadly – but if things go according to plan, if katniss stays alive…maybe he can have his years back with you and more.

“oh! okay let me fill you in.” finnick nods as he pulls away reluctantly.

you nod gently and you’re attentive as finnick explains the plan with beetee, to bring enobaria and ‘chaff’ to the tree where the lightning hits come midnight. you nod and listen along with a crease between your brows, glancing around at those that lay asleep on the sand. finnick wishes he could tell you about the entire plan, why katniss needs to stay alive and why peeta is so important. he wants to but he won’t risk the cameras or microphones picking up anything. all he has to do is make sure you’re with him and katniss when it comes down to the final midnight. when everything will truly change. you agree and absorb the plan.

only when johanna walks over with a small fish in hand and a sliced piece of wood with water do you stand and rush over to her. finnick watches as you hug a stunned johanna, a small smile paints his lips as you no doubt thank her for taking care of and dressing your wounds. johanna rolls her eyes at you as you probably thank her more for the water and fish you take from her hands. with the fish in hand, you down the water hungrily and finnick takes notice of the slight smile on johanna’s lips as she watches you. his chest warms and he exhales shakily as his eyes fall down to his hands, his brows twitch as his gaze then falls to katniss – to beetee.

god he hopes the plan works.

the dynamic in the group shifts to something far better after finnick and you manage to find your footing with one another. no more secrets lie in the air. after everyone awakens and eats while drinking copious amounts of water from the spile in a tree. the sun rises then begins to fall across the horizon yet again, everyone seems to sit in their own little pairing. beetee sits with johanna with his wire roll by his footing, katniss sits with peeta, and finnick stands with you while looking out at the sea. but finnick senses something’s wrong with you, your arms cross over your chest and you wet your lips as you look around to the others.

“what are we going to do once the last of the careers are dead?” your voice fills the air softly as you shake your head. your gaze meets finnick’s and he finds his heart squeezing as a deep sigh leaves your lips. “i don’t know who’s going to attack first once it’s us left but i–” setting your jaw and shifting with your shoes in the water, your eyes pull from his sea-green ones to the waters. “i don’t think i’ll be able to kill any of them.” you confess, he can see the way you blink softly. finnick feels more guilt, his inability to spill the truth to you.

turning to face you and gently pulling your hands, you face him with your brows sewing upwards. “if anyone would have to leave this arena it’d have to be you, you know?” finnick offers softly, his brows furrowing in a pensive expression. you shake your head and pull your hands away from him but he steps closer to you. his voice spills before yours does, his gentle hand pulling your cheek to force your gaze to his. “you have a son. he’s protected for being hemlock’s child but he needs his mom.” finnick reasons with a raise of his brows, no room for debate in his gaze.

and your eyes dart between his. he can see that look in your eyes, that look you held the day he left you. it’s a look of worry and concern melding with a want to say something. the words must be struggling against your lips that twitch as your arms remain crossed over your chest. “finnick…” you breathe his names as your eyes flutter shut. concern and worry oozes into him as he feels your hands gently place over his own. your eyes flutter open and you inhale deeply. pulling his hands down and squeezing them, you jump and finnick flinches when johanna’s voice fills the air.

“alright lovebirds! let’s go! all of you!” she shouts loudly. finnick turns to see beetee standing while johanna swings her ax by her side. finnick looks back to you and you exhale the deep breath with a smile.

“later.” you nod gently.

finnick wants to know what it is now, but if everything goes according to plan you’ll have all the time in the world. he smiles at you and squeezes your hands. “okay. let’s go.”

walking through the jungle atmosphere under the blanket of night, you trail in the middle of the group where beetee also walks for his protection and safety – finnick stays in the back with peeta and johanna. leaves and twigs crunch beneath the steps of the tributes. when that familiar sound slices through the air everyone stops and finnick’s gaze flickers up to the night sky. the tributes faces and their numbers display, his brows knit and his chest squeezes in pain when he sees mags’s face. exhaling softly as the images continue, the music ends and everyone turns away to keep walking.

eventually the group reaches the tree. finnick walks forward as beetee’s voice spills.

“minimal charring.” he observes as he fixes his frames. “impressive conductor.” then his eyes sweep the group. “let’s get started.” everyone follows as he walks forward, finnick catches your eyes and his heart beats quicker when he smiles and you return it. “typically a lightning strike contains five billion joules of energy. we don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity when this hits.” finnick observes the way he fixes the wiring before he pulls the roll and his eyes flicker along the group. when his eyes land on johanna and katniss, he nods. “you two girls go together now and take this.” katniss blinks softly as he hands her the roll. “unspool it carefully, make sure the entire coil is in the water, you understand? then head to the tree at the two o’clock sector. we’ll meet you there.”

peeta suddenly speaks up. “i’m gonna go with them as a guard.”

beetee shakes his head. “no, no, no, no – you’re staying here to protect me.” he pointedly offers. finnick senses the tension and reluctance in the two as blind as you to what’s happening. “and the tree.” beetee adds.

but peeta shakes his head. of course it won’t be so easy. “no, i need to go with her.” he emphasizes.

a sigh of irritation leaves beetee’s lips. “there are two careers out–”

“i’ll go instead of katniss.” finnick’s eyes snap to you and you step forward with a nod. slight worry and panic begins to spill into him as you walk over to katniss and smile reassuringly while taking the coil from her hands. “katniss is more observant than me and her bow will work better if she sees a career coming. i’ll go with johanna.” finnick can see the relief slightly push off of katniss’s shoulder as she looks to peeta.

finnick steps forward and shakes his head. “no – you’re staying with me. this shouldn’t even be an issue. we agreed to–”

“finnick.” you offer with a gentle hand to his chest. his sea-green eyes look down into yours that sparkle with the lights above. nodding gently, your other hand visibly tightens on the coil in hand. “it’s fine. i’ll be okay. you three need to watch over beetee.” finnick wonders what the hell you’re doing, and he knows it soon after as you smile at peeta and then katniss. you truly have softened, maybe because they’re in love or maybe because you trust them. whatever it is, finnick worries as he shares a look unknown to you, katniss, and peeta with johanna and beetee.

when beetee offers a subtle, stiff nod. finnick exhales deeply as he shuts his eyes for just a moment. he looks to johanna who wears an expression of concern before he looks to you. “okay.” he nods and you smile at him as your hand pulls away from his chest. leaning up and planting a kiss against his lips, finnick begrudgingly lets you pull away. “i’ll see you at midnight, alright?” he says it as if to reassure himself more than you. you nod gently with a sweet smile before you look to the others.

finnick watches you leave, his jaw tightening as you disappear through the brush with johanna.

beetee continues with what he’s doing. a few moments of silence pass when the wire that’s been pulled taut suddenly falls flat. finnick’s eyes look down at the wiring and his eyes widen. “the wire…” katniss breathes and she tugs out an arrow with her bow pulling off of her. finnick grabs her shoulder before she can run.

“you two stay with beetee!” he orders loudly before he begins to follow the wire, running through the brush with his trident in hand. “johanna!” he shouts before your name follows. it’s a pattern, your name and johanna’s. as he runs through the jungle and follows the wire to the end, his heart begins to slam in his chest as worry and fear oozes into him hotly. when a canon fires while he runs blindly, he stops abruptly and his eyes widen. screaming out your name more desperately as he runs, he shakes his head and rounds back. you would go back, you’re smart enough. but when he reaches the tree his eyes widen to find nobody. “katniss!” he shouts as he looks around.

only when he shifts in the brush do his eyes land on hers, and the arrow she points at him. katniss breathes heavily, her eyes narrowing. finnick swallows thickly, where did peeta go? that question isn’t as important as what faces him. “where is she and where’s peeta? he ran after her.” katniss breathes in an accusatory manner. finnick blinks and he holds up his hands with a shake of his head.

“katniss…remember who the real enemy is.” he raises his voice slightly. and to his relief, after a few moments, she lowers the bow. but the rolling sound of thunder and lightning soon dips his relief into dread. his eyes flicker up the sky of storm clouds and his gaze falls back to katniss. “katniss get away from that tree.” he orders loudly as she begins to wrap a wire around her bow. and as his eyes dart down, he runs towards her desperately. “katniss get away from that tree!” he shouts desperately. but she pulls back the bow and aims it upwards.

a flash of light is the last thing finnick sees before his back hits the ground and his head knocks against a rock.

it feels as if unconsciousness lasts only a few seconds but it lasts much longer than that. finnick’s fingers twitch and his eyes dart back and forth beneath his eyelids. slowly, the blanket of unconsciousness falls off of him as his eyes flutter open. numb sore pain settles in along his body as he feels cool metal beneath him. then he gasps and wakes up, his wide eyes looking around the aircraft and relief floods through him as he touches the oxygen mask on his face. sea-green eyes dart to his left to see katniss, more relief pours in then his eyes look past her to see beetee. but as he slowly sits up, he finds no sight of you, johanna, or peeta.

slowly standing up, he looks to the pathway leading down to a door. plutarch and haymitch’s voice falls through the door distantly. “we can’t guarantee either of their cooperations without the boy and the girl.” haymitch’s voice falls through the air raspy and slightly worn by years. finnick blinks back rapidly and he feels dread drag his heart. “katniss especially, if peeta isn’t–” and the door slides open. finnick’s sea-green eyes look from haymitch to plutarch. and by the looks on their faces he receives all the information he needs, information that will no doubt pierce a staff through katniss as it does through him.

“where…are they…?” yet he still asks with a tight voice.

haymitch’s eyes shut. “the capitol.”

and finnick leans against the wall as his hand presses over his heart. “i just got her back…” he mutters out. “i just got her back…” he mutters as he sinks down to the ground while haymitch walks over to him.

he just got you back.

and you’re gone again.

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power and control | finnick odair [part four]

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her question bleeds through your mind. she’s right. it was stupid of you, so stupid. but the answer is simple, spitting out more blood down your cheek – you shake your head. “i l–love him…” you manage as your lips spread into a painful smile that flashes the blood across your teeth. “i n-never think with him…l-love is stupid – but i liked being stupid with him.” hot tears spill down your temples as she pulls a blade from the sheath on your thigh behind her. “i wish i could have told him…” you cough as you shake your head and darkness begins to tunnel your vision. as the tip of the blade presses to your chest, right above your heart, your eyes flutter.

a revelation occurs about the arena and an enemy you'd forgotten about manages to get her dues.

tags to be found below.

cw: graphic depictions of violence

part four.

you sit on the sand with the others, chewing and eating the raw fish finnick managed to spear. you don’t speak or offer any conversation, finnick seems to be more sour and bitter than he had been before. he doesn’t so much as toss a glance your way, he doesn’t acknowledge you – peeta was the one to hand you a part of the fish. you feel yourself writhing with guilt as you eat the food you’re unsure will stay down. should you really have just let mags be taken by the fog? did she die when she hit the tree or did she suffer for a few moments? your brows stitch as your heart aches and you blink away the urge and need to cry over mags. finnick is right, she was never going to make it but you held hope. stupid hope.

a crack draws your eyes and you watch as peeta pulls a dark pearl from a clam. a small smile paints your lips as he reaches across and holds it out to katniss. “look. for you.” he says with a sweet, boyish smile faint on his lips. katniss perks up a bit, reaching out and letting him drop the pearl into her palm. blinking softly as you watch the display, your heart squeezes as a memory of the ivy bush in your garden comes to mind. she thanks him sweetly and you turn back to your food. selfishly luckily, your attentions are all ensnared at the sound of distant screaming. you drop the food and stand quickly with a blade in your hand. “that’s new.” peeta remarks.

and they stand with their weapons. your eyes widen as you watch an avalanche toss the earth into the waters to crash on the cornucopia before hitting your feet. blinking softly as an aircraft drops a hook again, you watch it retract before katniss pulls an arrow. “someone’s here.” and your eyes snap to where she holds the arrow against the bow and walks ahead with peeta by her side. you stop shortly behind katniss and peeta when you recognize the three tributes despite the crimson that stains them.

“johanna?” finnick says aloud before running past. she dives into the water with beetee and wiress – so you presume. “johanna!” finnick shouts. you can hear the smile in his voice as he rushes over. a ridiculous brush of jealousy pinches at your nerves as you reluctantly step forward.

“guess we have more allies.” peeta observes before he begins to walk over to where the tributes are. you look to katniss and it seems you both share the same reservations. but you both follow while placing away your weapons.

catching up, your eyes widen as you take notice of johanna drenched in thick blood. she explains the situation with a grin of disbelief and a drag of hot irritation in her raised voice. they were deep into the jungle, deep enough to think they were safe before it began to rain. you blink softly and your eyes flicker to wiress who seems to be in a state of shock, she shakes her head and tries to grab at johanna who shoves her aside. she mutters continuously the same two syllables. “tik tok.” she continues as she grabs at johanna who seems to grow fed up and shoves her down.

it happens quickly, katniss running in to defend the shellshock wiress by shoving an aggressive johanna. finnick pulls back johanna while peeta pulls back katniss. “i got them out for you!” johanna shouts with annoyance and anger as finnick attempts to calm her down. confusion sparks along your mind and you hurry to wiress’s side.

crouching down beside her where she sits on the sand, you tilt your head gently. she grabs at your arms while panting the same two syllables. “tik tok…tik tok…tik tok…” she pants and nods as you slowly help her up. blinking softly as something itches the back of your mind, you’re gentle as you guide her to the water to clean the blood off of her.

even while you clean up the woman, she still murmurs the same two words. your eyes sweep the area for any danger or warning signs but you find none to be visible as you dip her head back into the water. gentle hands clean at her hair as her wide eyes look up into yours. “tik tok.” you repeat her word as that itch hits the back of your brain again. she nods with rapid blinks and you look around as katniss wades into the water beside you. when katniss grabs your shoulder, the lighting strikes and you jump with a sharp gasp. turning to face katniss and the realization hits when you meet her wide eyes. “it’s a clock.”

she nods eagerly. “yes!” katniss breathes with an incredulous laugh as she looks around with you. wiress stands from the water tinted pink. katniss holds her face and laughs joyously as wiress grabs her face in return. “wiress!! you’re a genius!” she exclaims as you smile big and wade away from the water, rubbing your hands in the water to rid the crimson. peeta and the others look on curiously and you gesture behind you towards katniss and wiress who follow you.

“the entire arena is set up like a clock.” you point out what wiress was genius enough to realize and what katniss realized too. everyone’s brows twitch as their eyes flicker around the arena and the gears in your brain churn. “every hour there’s a new threat. but they don’t go past where the lines lead them – which is why when we escaped the fog and saw the beach, the fog no longer touched us!” you reason as you look to peeta and step onto the sand with your bodysuit wet and hair just the same. peeta blinks in realization as the others do. katniss steps onto the sand with wiress and you look to her as she nods with a deep exhale.

“it goes lighting, blood rain, fog, monkeys. four hours.” katniss continues as the group gathers closer. her brows knit and she nods. “at ten the big wave hits from over there. at noon and midnight the lighting hits that big tree.” she continues with a point towards the tail of the cornucopia. all eyes look over to where katniss points and breath sighs of relief and impressed noises. a big smile spreads on your lips and you squeeze wiress’s arm with a nod. “let’s head to the cornucopia.” katniss advises and all hum with agreement.

walking along the stone pathway, you find yourself at the cornucopia with the others. standing beside johanna as peeta draws the clock in the dirt, your brows furrow as your arms cross over your chest. hearing the distant sound of wiress’s voice, you wet your lips as you listen to the sound of moving waters and the nature sounds within the deadly jungle. you’re attentive to the discussion happening on the safety outside of the slices of the clock against the dangerous elements. only when a gasp splits through the air do your eyes snap to wiress. your eyes widen as katniss fires an arrow into the chest of the male tribute of district one. wiress slumps into the water with a blade in her throat.

and before you know it, the career pack leaps at the lot of you. you turn at the sound of a grunt and your blade sticks out of the outside of your fist. with a slash across the face of the district one female tribute, she cries out in pain before your other hand holding a blade plunges it into her chest. kicking her hard, you leave the blade in her body and turn as she falls into the waters dead. your eyes snap to where katniss runs after a tribute but before you can run to help – the surface suddenly begins to move and you hit the ground. grunting out, you stab two blades into the stone and your wide eyes dart around as water splashes and flies up. weapons fly and you just narrowly avoid an ax to the face with a grunt you try to keep yourself.

just as your hands nearly slip, the cornucopia comes to a slow spin and stops entirely. you pant heavily, adrenaline buzzes at your nerves and water soaks through your clothing and hair. standing up quickly, the sound of coughing and sputtering draws your legs to where katniss lays on the rocks. everyone gathers around her, giving a thumbs up you sigh in relief and furrow your brows as you look around. “let’s get whatever the hell we need and get off this fucking island.” johanna spits harshly. and as you tuck your blades into their sleeves, only a few left in the sleeve around your thigh and one left in the sleeve around your arm, you go to follow johanna.

“i’ll help her.” finnick offers to you coldly as he brushes past you and knocks his arm against your shoulder. you step back and ignore the sting in your chest as johanna glances back. offering her a smile of reassurance to what almost looks like a concerned look, you turn away and follow the rest back towards the beach.

katniss is the first to speak, her wavy hair damp and released from her signature braid. “who do we have left to worry about?” she asks while still struggling to catch her breath. peeta shifts on the sand, glancing towards beetee, johanna, and finnick who gather the necessities. crouching down and picking up a stick to begin to draw in the sand, there’s a silence as you mull over with your eyes fluttering shut.

“there’s only roughly three of them left i think. chaff, enobaria, and brutus.” you nod as your eyes flutter open. crossing your arms over your chest loosely with furrowing brows, you look around with caution as your fingers twitch with readiness to grab a blade at the drop of a pin. “i doubt they’ll try to attack us again if we stick together. they’re outnumbered and despite their brawn they can’t possibly be that stupid.” you point out as your gaze meets katniss’s eyes before peeta’s. both nod in agreement but katniss’s lips part before they shut and part again.

she stands from her crouched position. “enobaria is going to try to get you definitely. after that display in the training room and her tendency to hold grudges during the games – you’re probably her priority.” katniss explains with her brows slightly creasing at the space between. you blink softly, you’d nearly forgotten about the incident. wetting your lips with realization that katniss may be correct – you nod. “we’ll make sure you’re not alone.” she nods gently and you shake your head as you pull your cheek between your teeth to think deeply.

“no. if it comes down to it with her i know i can beat her. i don’t want anyone getting hurt over me.” you press firmly as your eyes flicker between the two. “i think it might be best to lure them somewhere to kill them all at once – like beetee did during his games with the water.” you reason as your gaze flickers to the water.

“that’s actually a good idea. maybe we should–”

and you suddenly hear your name screech through the jungle. your eyes widen as your head jerks to your right. “finnick…” you breathe his name. his voice screeches your name again calling for help and you look towards the cornucopia. your eyes don’t find beetee or johanna. and not finnick. dread spills down hot like tar into your and your muscles burn.

“finnick!” you scream as you grab a blade and begin to run into the jungle. the shouting of your name behind you falls on deaf ears as you run towards the sound of finnick calling your name and screaming for help. stopping where the scream is the loudest, you grasp two blades in either hand. “finnick!” you scream with your chest heaving up and down. the sound of your name being screeched by his voice comes to a sudden halt and you pant softly. “f-finn–” and suddenly loud thuds draw your body around with a sharp gasp.

your wide eyes look to those in your alliance. relief washes over you, tears slip down your cheeks as your body relaxes when your gaze meets wide sea-green eyes. but as realization sets in, you blink rapidly while your eyes look to each victor. finnick’s hands press to the air, you’ve stepped right past a force field. and your eyes widen, you turn sharply as you hear him screaming your name. “no…no…” you breathe shakily and you look around. “this isn’t real…” the pounding behind you is senseless as your blood runs cold. finnick’s behind you yet you hear his scream. your heart hammers in your chest as you turn and the screams suddenly stop.

panting softly as your hands press into the force-field, your wide eyes look at finnick who presses his hands against the force-field against your hands. blinking rapidly, unable to focus on anything – you turn with a sharp gasp at the sound of a twig snapping. enobaria grins as she holds an inky bird in her hand and stops just a few short feet away, those daggers in her mouth flash at you.

“jabberjays.” she begins as she laughs. “how strange i managed to find this single one with finnick odair’s voice in it – only his. you seem to piss off a lot of people.” enobaria remarks with a raise of her brows. with anger coursing through your veins and anguish in your chest, your hands pull out two blades. and you blink rapidly when your eyes land on brutus who walks out. blinking rapidly, you exhale deeply in realization that he wasn’t the one you killed. it was one of the other tributes from six. “isn’t it fun that your friends and boyfriend get a show to your death?” she tosses the bird aside and she steps towards you slowly. “wait, boyfriend isn’t right. you have a husband you left him for right?”

brutus shrugs loosely. “doesn’t matter. we’ll kill him after her anyway.” enobaria growls.

your eyes narrow and you run at him with the blades facing the outside of your fists. he attempts to swing the spear to decapitate you but you leap up off the tip of the spear. brutus’s eyes widen as they slowly look up at you, piercing both of his eyes with your blades, you yank them out as he screams in anguish. blood splatters across your face and hands as your wide eyes burn a glare into his face. swinging out of the way of his collapsing corpse, you turn to enobaria with wide eyes. her jaw is slack and her eyes wide as you jerk the blades down for his eyeballs to hit the grass.

and her eyes flicker behind you. “looks like your boyfriend’s luck is out.” you gasp softly and turn. when you take notice of finnick standing with wide eyes and parted lips, you turn and find yourself met with a kick to the face so rough you slide across the earth and hit the force-field. dizziness takes over your mind as muffled shouts from those behind the force field follow the muffled pounding. a literal pounding moves through your skull as blood spills from your mouth after a tooth falls to the soil. trying to pull yourself up, you grunt out in agony when a rough kick to your side sends you onto your back against the force field.

the dark-haired woman falls onto your waist and you grunt out as you try to snatch a blade from your sheathe only to spit out more blood when her fist collides with your cheekbone. your head jerks to the side and your eyelids flutter, blood spills from the corner of your lips. another punch to your face jerks your head the other way, vision starts to blur and hearing rings. “i’m gonna make this last.” enobaria taunts on top of you. “i notice the old bat isn’t with you anymore…a shame i never got to be the one to fire off her canon. but yours is enough.” another punch and you cough up blood. hot, agonizing pain sears across your face that throbs and stings.

“f-fuck you…” you spit out as your eyes fall from her to look to the pretty eyes of johanna who crouches down to the earth and hits the force field. she shouts but you can’t hear her, you can barely see her. enobaria grabs your chin roughly and she forces your face to face her.

“this is your fault, you know? why would you be stupid enough to run after his voice when he was with you?” she questions with a raise of her brows. and you cry out when her finger pushes into the split across your cheekbone from her rough punch. hot tears spill down your temples and you pant heavily as your tense body quivers and twitches beneath her.

her question bleeds through your mind. she’s right. it was stupid of you, so stupid. but the answer is simple, spitting out more blood down your cheek – you shake your head. “i l–love him…” you manage as your lips spread into a painful smile that flashes the blood across your teeth. “i n-never think with him…l-love is stupid – but i liked being stupid with him.” hot tears spill down your temples as she pulls a blade from the sheath on your thigh behind her. “i wish i could have told him…” you cough as you shake your head and darkness begins to tunnel your vision. as the tip of the blade presses to your chest, right above your heart, your eyes flutter shut.

before the darkness can descend entirely you hear a muffled thud and the weight on top of your body that feels like lead finally lifts. the soil beneath you fades away as a pair of arms wrap around your body. “it’s okay…it’s okay – i’m here. don’t sleep – please don’t shut your eyes…” it feels sickening, like a sick dream to image that it’s finnick’s voice speaking to you, finnick’s arms around you. and as your head lolls to the side, you smile faintly.

then the darkness takes you.

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power and control | finnick odair [part three]

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shaking your head, you swallow hard as a bitterness coats your tongue. “he’s an ass. it’s best to not dwell on it.” you offer as those sea-green eyes look to you.

“and you’re one to talk. impressive show you put on during the interview.” pushing back his bronze hair darkened by the water, droplet roll down his tan skin thinly veiled by sweat and water. “was it to get the target off your back? is that why you saved peeta’s life?” he asks with a lopsided grin and a tone not-so-subtly accusatory.

the interviews for the third quarter quell take place. and the games begin.

tags found below.

a/n: this is a long one. buckle up.

cw: graphic depictions of violence

part three.

you feel uncomfortable as your stylist continues to poke and prod at your appearance all the while your mentor feeds you tips and things to say and play on. but truth be told you don’t listen to any noise around you as your mind continues to go over the plan you’d concocted in your mind throughout the entire day. playing on the capitol’s side wouldn’t help you in the arena, as a matter of fact it’d only make you more of a target. even in the eyes of those who may not already hate you. you’re worried for your son, you fear for him but you trust hemlock. doing anything is required, but as you look at your appearance of a crimson ensemble to match the look you had donned on your wedding day, you hope and pray everything won’t be in vain. you can’t lose again. you can’t.

the distant cheers spill through the air and bring you back to reality. your gaze looks to the television screen that reflects in the mirror, knitting your brows upwards you gauge the victor's interviews and their tactics. wetting your lips you come to the realization that the victors are doing anything and saying anything they can to get the games stopped. but as the corset is tightened and your lipstick is freshened, you know better. nothing anybody says could stop the games, you wonder why they would waste their time rather than trying to grab a side. your eyes fall to the dress and the sleeves that fall down to your knuckles when finnick comes on screen.

only when johanna comes on screen do you look up and tune in. she wears a bitter smile and a jaw that can’t seem to rest. a scoff leaves her lips at the ridiculous remark from the esteemed showman caesar flickerman’s lips.

“well, yes, i’m angry.” she bitterly laughs as she shakes her head. her ensemble is fairly gorgeous, bronze and golds. “you know i’m getting totally screwed over here. the deal was that if i win the hunger games, i get to live the rest of my life in peace.” she isn’t trying to appeal, she isn’t trying to get the games stopped. johanna is speaking from her heart with an anger that’s palpable. then she looks directly into the camera. “but now you want to kill me again.” she giggles bitterly. “well you know what?” and johanna sits up and anger takes over her whole face and body. “fuck that! and fuck everybody that had anything to do with it!” she screeches before storming off.

a smile spreads on your lips and you hum in satisfaction. at least you won’t be alone in being hated by the capitol after this.

“let’s go now.” your chaperone gently ushers you off the pedestal and you nod gently. looking to your mentor and stylist, you offer them a soft smile before you find your way towards the opening of the stage.

caesar flickerman’s voice fills the air loudly, his showman attitude nauseating and irritating. but you keep your cool and you keep your composure as his introduction splits through your head. “the unfavorable turned beloved wife and mother! the greatest success story to come from the games! please a big welcome!” when your name falls into your ears, you exhale shakily and step through.

bright lights fall onto your features and cheers roll across the crowd. walking in the tall heels a deep crimson, you smile and wave at the crowd in a sickly sweet faux manner. when you reach the showman himself, he coos and fawns over your attire while giving you two air kisses against either cheek. offering him words of gratitude, you take your seat across a table beside him and fold one knee over the other. tossing a glance back at the victors, the tributes, your eyes meet finnick’s for just a second before your gaze shifts away.

“it’s so good to see you again! my, my the shift and total change you’ve taken!” caesar exclaims into his microphone with that plastic smile. you offer your own fake smile as he gestures to you. “look at you! being in the capitol has blossomed you into a beautiful flower – now tell me, did you have any work done?” laughter rolls across the audience as he leans towards you and waves dismissively. “oh i’m kidding!” you force your own soft laughter while shaking your head gently.

“i’m afraid not. maybe it’s the water there.” you tease back.

“oh then let me dive into the next fountain!” he quips. your laughter is fake, it fills the air alongside caesar’s and the audience's. the laughter dies down and he shakes his head as he grins and meets your gaze. “but wow this is quite a transformation. to think just a few years ago you were here swearing out the capitol and now–you’re married to one of its elites with a beautiful baby boy.” the audience cheers and aw’s, you feel a sickness churn in your stomach and you wet your lips with a sickly fake smile. “you must be…quite heartbroken to be here, dear.” he offers with a solemn expression still plastic as he shakes his head gently. the audience aws and murmurs yet again. “especially given the presence of a certain darling we all know you have some…history with, yes?” more reactions roll across the audience.

with a plastic smile, you lean towards the microphone he holds out with a fake laugh. “please caesar, one thing at a time!” you gently swat at his hand and the audience rolls with chuckles and laughter. caesar himself laughs and puts up a hand with a wincing expression. smiling at him, you wet your lips and swallow hard. “yes, my success story has been something to admire and my beautiful baby boy is the greatest gift it’s given me but i must confess something to you, caesar. something about my success and the people in the capitol who made it all possible.” you put on a faux frown and a faux expression of concern as you shake your head.

caesar’s brows raise gently and he leans closer. “oh please do – after all this may be your last chance to.” and you nod gently, you dip your head down against your hand and inhale deeply. caesar takes the bait and the audience does the same, they awh and caesar gently holds your forearm. but as your shoulders shake with laughter of amusement, you raise your head and you lean into the mic.

“they’re all a bunch of morons!” you exclaim. reactions rise quickly from the audience and you shake your head as caesar’s brows raise and his face shifts to a show of discomfort. “i mean all i had to do was smile at a camera and praise the cesspool that it is and poof! i became one of the capitol’s to look out for! this success story isn’t from my games, the success story isn’t because i won the games!” your gaze looks to the camera and you grin as you feel yourself speaking the words to president snow himself. “this success is because you idiots will believe anything if a person looks like you. i could put a diamond necklace on a toilet and hear you call the flush your gospel!”

the audience does little to hide their reaction as you stand up and blow a kiss at the camera. reactions vary from cheers to boos and slewing insults and swears. making your way across the stage as caesar flickerman tries to fix the sudden tense and sour atmosphere you caused, you feel as if you’ve sealed something as you walk up the steps to join the other victors and tributes. you wet your lips and your hands tremble as you hold the bottom of your gown. feeling the eyes of the victors and tributes on you, your gaze flickers up once you find your position and you look to johanna. she offers a crooked grin and a wink and you shoot her a wink back.

your eyes don’t shift to the sea-green ones you feel burning into you. keeping your gaze forward as caesar announces the one and only katniss everdeen, you fold your hands in front of you and take the chance to observe her. she’s a natural before caesar, pretty in a white wedding gown. you can recall the media going crazy over the wedding of peeta mellark and katniss everdeen. she steps forward and your eyes widen as flames catch at the bottom of the beautiful white gown and rise up. only when her arms spread to show charcoal wings do you exhale deeply, hemlock’s advice and words solidify.

a mocking jay. spray painted images being painted over in the capitol spill into your mind. you watch as she walks up the stage and your gaze meets her’s for only a moment. a moment long enough for you to offer her a smile of reflex, a smile of approval. she offers you a smile you can’t quite read and you turn back at peeta is brought onto stage. but your eyes cast the occasional glances to katniss, does she love him? does he love her? is it all true, maybe it is. regardless he seems a bit different to her, not a bit but a lot.

he seems nervous, fidgety on stage as he confesses a secret wedding, your brows twitch. listening to his spiel on love your brows furrow a bit deeper.

“i wouldn’t have any regrets at all if…if…” his voice begins to shake. caesar urges him a mic to his mouth. peeta inhales deeply in a white suit before his broad shoulders fall. “if it weren’t for the baby.” shock rattles the entire theater as your narrowed eyes snap to katniss. you take notice of the way she twitched and inhales deeply, the audience shouts demands to stop the games as peeta hurries up the steps. watching the two embrace for just a moment, you come to two realizations as peeta smiles at you briefly.

there is no baby.

but they are in love.

and when peeta takes katniss’s hand, you come to another realization when you look down and feel her hand take yours. blinking softly, you squeeze her hand before your gaze flickers to the tribute beside you. taking his hand, your eyes watch as each tribute takes one another’s hands before they raise. something surges through you akin to remorse and pride.

in the arena you will be enemies. but you’re all playing the cards dealt by a cruel dealer. the lights shut down and the theater plunges into darkness. you gently squeeze katniss’s hand before releasing it. hemlock’s words will be followed. you’re more sure now than ever.

later that night you receive a lecture from your mentor. as expected the baby bomb did nothing, the games will continue.

as if president snow cares about an unborn baby.

eventually the sun begins to rise on the horizon, your brows furrow softly as you sit up in bed. it feels as if everything moves quickly.

getting ready, being lectured, being injected with a tracker, until you finally find yourself walking down the path alone with peacekeeper’s guiding you to your almost certain death. not if you can help it, but you can’t help it. and it sickens you as the doors slide shut and you face the wall. watching it rise, you feel as you did your first games but you feel all the more different. there’s the same pit in your stomach, the same looming dread in your spine. but there’s something different in your mind, you won’t die, you won’t work alone with no dependencies.

and in your heart, you find one name. when your skin meets the light, your eyes find him quickly. but his eyes burn into the cornucopia. you take in the sight of the arena, all water with paths of stone leading to the cornucopia. while you know what to expect as you avert your gaze and steady your breathing, you know the games can be as unexpected as death. that voice spills through the air and chills crawl up your spine.

“let the 75th hunger games begin. may the odds be ever in your favor.”

and the countdown begins. the moment the canon sounds you dive into the water. but you don’t swim straight as all the other victors don’t either, you reach the stones to your left and hoist yourself up. the warm sun keeps you from shuddering and shivering as you begin to sprint down the stone, your eyes looking left and right to see others.

reaching the cornucopia your hands snatch a sleeve of blades and a rope. wild eyes dart around as you strap them on, before the other sleeve can be successfully wrapped around your left thigh, your eyes look at the bald tribute running at you with a spear.

falling down into a split as he pierces the sword through the air, you jam the blade into his ankle and twist. he lets out a cry of pain before his spear falls. leaving the blade in his ankle, you catch the spear and grunt as you shove it upwards. it pierces through his face, his eyes wide and fingers twitching and you shove it deeper in. his body hits the floor hard and blood splatters when you yank the spear out. dropping it onto the ground, your eyes look across to a struggle against one of the pedestals. a head of blonde hair grabs your eyes. mags stands on the stone path across from you and she points down with wide eyes.

your eyes narrow as you tug the rope off your shoulder and tie a knot quickly, both katniss and finnick run to join mags and you eye peeta and the other tribute. with a swing, the noose loops around the tributes neck – your foot stomps onto the rope and it jerks to cinch around his neck. peeta rises from the water gasping for air as you tug the tribute towards you while he struggles to remove the noose. grunting while you wrap the rope around your leg with caution to not slip, eventually his head hits the stone and you lift your leg. a gruesome scene unfolds, his face caving in with sickening crunches and squelching with each time your foot comes down. the second canon fires. unlooping the rope from his throat, you pant as your eyes look across to peeta, katniss, mags, and finnick.

katniss secured a bow. “duck!” she shouts and you do so quickly. an arrow flies past your head and into the eye of another tribute. your wide eyes look to the group.

“let’s go!” finnick orders as he hoists mags onto his back. you look to peeta who nods and gestures for you to follow with urgency. you contemplate taking the careers but the moment you see them form a group, you swear under your breath and start to run with the rope on your shoulder.

another canon fires as you run through the jungle setting behind the group. brushing past greenery and avoiding roots, the group comes to a slow stop at finnick’s command. you breathe heavily as your eyes look around, crouching down with the group after finnick gently places down mags. peeta looks at you and he nods with a firm brow. “thanks – for that back there.” he says with gratitude. you smile and nod gently as you look to katniss who nods gently with agreement.

“no problem. god it’s hot…” you breathe as you wipe at your brow.

three canons fire and finnick offers a grin as he looks around. “well i guess we’re not holding hands anymore.” he offers with a dry chuckle. your eyes narrow at him but katniss is the one to speak.

“you think that’s funny?” she asks with obvious irritation and slight contempt.

shaking your head, you swallow hard as a bitterness coats your tongue. “he’s an ass. it’s best to not dwell on it.” you offer as those sea-green eyes look to you.

“and you’re one to talk. impressive show you put on during the interview.” pushing back his bronze hair darkened by the water, droplet roll down his tan skin thinly veiled by sweat and water. “was it to get the target off your back? is that why you saved peeta’s life?” he asks with a lopsided grin and a tone not-so-subtly accusatory.

“she wouldn’t ruin what she had with the capitol for two strangers.” katniss intervenes as her brows furrow gently.

“right – because you know her so well.” finnick retorts as he offers you a bitter glare. your jaw sets and your heart stings as hot irritation runs through your veins. the atmosphere is thick with tension, it almost burns. pretty sea-green eyes hold yours and he shifts on the soil with a soft scoff, his ghost of a grin bitter and eyes oozing in contempt. “trust me when i say whatever she does is a means to a selfish end.” he says bitterly, his voice deeper and slightly raspier. your eyes narrow.

before you can offer anything in response, peeta nods and steps forward. “let’s keep moving.” your jaw sets and you stand with the rest.

moving along the jungle atmosphere, peeta swings a machete to cut the vines and leaves that hang down from towering trees. finnick carries mags on his back, katniss stands beside you. your eyes glare hotly at the man who’s become so heartless and cruel to you, it’s warranted. in your heart and soul you know you deserve it and yet it cracks open your heart and pours venom inside every single time. only when you receive a gentle nudge against your elbow from katniss do you turn to her. her thin brows twitch a bit as almond eyes meet yours.

“you have a kid back home right?” she asks with a gentle voice that still clings to some raspiness. you nod with a soft smile, your heart squeezes. “how old is he?”

“three and some months.” you reply with love on your tongue and a warmth in your smile. she offers a momentary smile before you nod and exhale softly. “he’s my world. i just hope that if i die here he’ll be okay.” your gaze falls down to the greenery and your brows stitch a bit tighter, the cool and casual demeanor you hold falters with a shaky exhale. then you turn to katniss who smiles softly, her eyes sympathetic. “you know that lullaby you once sang? for that sweet girl?” katniss blinks, the memory must be sour, you smile sweetly. “i sing him to sleep with it every night…well i did.”

and you feel her hand in yours. gently, she squeezes it as your surprised eyes flicker to her soft gaze. “you’ll get to again.” she says with a furrow in her brow and a firmness in her voice. with a soft exhale through your nostrils, you squeeze her hand and nod with a sweet smile as a silent word of gratitude. letting go of her hand, you look ahead and keep walking. but she slowly stops and you turn to her with a knit in your brows. her face turns to one of shock. “peeta, no!” she shouts and you find yourself hitting the ground after sparks fly.

blinking rapidly, you sit up off the ground and look to her. “peeta? peeta?” she kneels beside him and holds his face. her eyes are wide with horror as she looks around. “he’s not breathing! he’s not breathing!” her voice breaks and finnick rushes over and shoves her aside. you rush to mags as finnick begins to perform cpr on peeta, your eyes widen. why is he trying to bring him back to life? something in your chest warms as you look at mags.

“are you okay?” you breathe softly and she winces as she points to her elbow. your brows stitch and you look down, taking her arm your eyes flicker back for only a moment when peeta suddenly gasps for air.

you watch the relief in katniss and the sobs she releases before kissing him. blinking softly, your eyes flicker to finnick to already find his sea-green eyes looking at you. you look away before you can read his face. you don’t want him to see the grief or envy on your face and you don’t want to see the bitterness or contempt on his.

so they are in love.

“let me see.” you nod gently to mags. she holds out her arm.

“what happened?” finnick asks as he crouches down on the other side of her.

you shake your head gently as you roll up her sleeve and check her arm, already a bruise begins to form. but as you move it and shift it for her, you breathe in relief and look around at the others. “she’s okay. just a bruise. you’re okay, mags.” you smile at her sweetly as you roll down her sleeve. she smiles in return and nods gently. tossing a glance at finnick, you look away. “everyone’s okay, right?” nods go around and you nod. “let’s keep moving.”

“wait.” katniss says. you watch as she crouches down and scoops up a handful of pebbles. curiously, you meet her gaze when she straightens back up. “stay behind me.” and you all listen to the girl on fire.

as she leads through the jungle she tosses the pebbles that bounce off the force field that killed peeta for some seconds. eventually she stops the group yet again and you watch as she climbs a tree with her bow slung across her body. looking around with your fingers pressing against your blades on your thigh, you don’t take your attention away until katniss hops back down onto the surface. she wears knitted brows and she exhales.

“the force fields a dome. we’re at the edge of the arena.” she informs the group and you nod gently.

“there’s definitely no water around here, then.” you hum.

finnick wets his lips. “it’s gonna get dark soon.” he observes. “we’ll be safe with our backs protected, we can set up camp – take turns sleeping.” slowly he stands with his trident in hand. “i can take first watch.”

katniss exhales derivatively. “not a chance.”

your eyes flicker to finnick who presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek in obvious irritation. “honey, that thing i did back there for peeta. that was called saving his life.” he snorts. “if i wanted to kill either of you i would’ve done it by now.” and he walks away, you roll your eyes as irritation sews your brows. looking to katniss, you nod gently.

“i’ll take watch. you three need sleep the most.” you offer.

her brows furrow slightly. “why me?” she asks.

“we can’t have our star archer and observer lethargic can we?” you respond with a light smile. she rolls her eyes with a soft exhale but a hint of a smile toys at the corner of her lips. begrudgingly, she nods.

you lean against a tree in the clearing and remain there as night falls over the jungle atmosphere. everything is quiet but the air is tense, finnick still up and against the opposite tree almost standing guard over mags. you avoid his gaze, you don’t look at him as your eyes flicker around the area. the atmosphere is tense and uncomfortable as you gingerly sweep the pad of your thumb against the flat of the blade. exhaustion doesn’t touch you yet as you lean your head against the tree trunk and shift in place, leaves crunch and twigs snap beneath you.

“why did you say all of that?”

finnick’s soft voice draws you from your focus on dangers. looking to him with a slight knit in your brows, surprised he spoke and confused bt his question, he looks down at his trident he cleans the points of with his sleeve. “everything about the capitol and it’s people. you do know if you live you have hell to pay, right?” he offers with a furrow in his brow as those sea-green eyes meet yours. you blink softly and turn away from him, looking to katniss cuddled up against peeta.

“i said it to appeal to the tributes. especially them.”

a bitter scoff fills the air. “i knew i–”

“but i meant it all.” you snap harshly as your eyes snap back to finnick. he pauses with his sleeve over his thumb and he looks up at you through his brows. “i hate the capitol and its people.” you admit with a knit in your brows.

“including your dear husband?” finnick mockingly questions.

“i’m indifferent towards him.” you respond shortly with a burning glare.

“and your kid?” finnick tenses up the moment one of your blades breezes past his head. his eyes flicker to the blade stuck into the tree trunk so close to his head some of his messy bronze hair is stuck in the blade. bitterness, hot annoyance, defensiveness, and a sickening feeling of guilt and heartache runs through you as hot as lava. especially as you hold the same sea-green eyes your world possesses. with a yank of the blade, he tosses it back at your feet. his eyes flicker between yours that glare hotly and his lips part as if he wants to say something. but he shuts his mouth and shakes his head. “i’m getting some sleep.”

more venom in your heart. loud music draws your gaze up, everyone wakes up and looks to the sky that displays the eight dead tributes. exhaling softly when katniss mutters the number, you nod gently. the groggy archer soon stands up when that familiar dinging and ringing fills the air. your eyes flicker up hearing the sound of a sponsor dropping a gift. katniss runs over first as the rest of you sit up, mags still lies down and finnick walks over with his trident still in hand. katniss opens the gift.

“what is it?” finnick questions. you glance to peeta before you both look back.

“it’s from haymitch.” she responds. “i think it’s a spile.” and she stands up quickly. you watch as she hammers it into a tree. standing up and walking over, your eyes widen when the spile spills water. eager sounds fill the air and you smile big as katniss drinks, then peeta, then finnick, then mags. you dip your mouth under the spile and nearly moan. you didn’t realize how thirsty you were until the refreshing water slips down your dry throat.

gasping out softly as it gathers in your palms, you splash it against your face and bask in the coldness. hope sparkles across your chest.

everyone finds their spots yet again, the lot dozing off as you stay up. but a sudden loud noise draws everyone up from their slumber. blinking softly, your brows knit as you hear twelve of the loud gong sounds sound out. “twelve.” katniss offers and you look to her.

“maybe it’s midnight.” you offer with soft blinks.

she hums. “or districts.” she replies.

then your eyes sweep across the way, lightning strikes a tree and your brows furrow. with a soft exhale, you blink gently as the others slowly ease themselves back down to go to sleep. time passes, thunder and lighting is oddly soothing as the need for sleep suddenly begins to pull at your head and muscles. you lick your lips as your eyelids grow heavy. looking along the options to wake up for the next watch, your attention is soon pulled to your left as silence falls. your brows furrow at the sight of a white fog rolling along the greenery. there’s no smell in the air but it’s moving quickly.

something falls into the pits of your stomach.

“guys.” you speak out as you stand quickly. exhaling softly. “guys!” you shout. the earth and jungle surface rustles beneath the other tributes and victors. reaching out with narrowing eyes, everyone jumps to their feet when you pull your hand back with a loud shriek and cry of pain. a searing and unimaginable pain spreads hot boils of white fluid along your skin that turns a sickening shade of red. “run!” you choke out as you leap to your feet and grab your rope. and you all begin to run as the fog flows in quickly.

your heart pounds in your chest as you run ahead, between katniss and peeta. the fog bleeds in from all corners as a hot – blinding and throbbing pain sears across your flesh. your wide eyes look back when peeta suddenly collapses and pained screams come from finnick who runs over with mags on his shoulder. stopping and running over, your wide eyes look down at the condition on your throbbing and hot hand spreads along peeta’s throat and your eyes look to the fog.

“i-i can’t carry him–” katniss sobs softly as he shakes him gently. your eyes dart around, looking at mags, you realize you can run and evade the quick fog or risk death.

and the promise sears into your mind. your promise to keep mags alive as long as you can. and quickly, you run to mags. “get on! get peeta you two!” you bark the orders harshly. there’s a moment of hesitation in finnick before they both hoist up peeta. mags weight pulls down your legs and you exhale sharply as you run ahead of the trio that trail behind. when your footing slips, you gasp and turn quickly with a tug of the old woman’s arms around your neck. embracing her as you fall back onto the ground, you hit the earth so hard all the air knocks out of you. your wide eyes watch as the fog seems to hit a wall before it floats upwards. a barrier of some kind.

mags gently holds your face and your eyes look around to the trio who pant heavily and whimper in hot pain. your eyes fall to katniss who crawls towards the water. dipping her hand in, she suddenly screams out in pain and agony. “the w-water–the water helps–” she chokes out, her voice cracking and breaking. a hot ache shoots through your side and you slowly tug yourself up as peeta drags mags over to the water with pained grunts and panting.

quickly, you run to finnick who breathes shallow and twitches with groans of agony. you grab your side and wince sharply, your brows furrow as you look down at the crimson that stains your hands. a slash through the bodysuit you wear exposes a wound akin to a knife slash at the waist. swallowing thickly, you reach out and roll finnick onto his back. taking his hands you drag him towards the water while your hand throbs and the slash at your waist burns. finnick groans and grunts in pain, you eventually reach the water and cry out in agony as it feels the water sears off the injury on your hand slowly. your attention focuses as you dip finnick into the water.

he cries in pain and writhes as you rub the water up and down his throat and along his face. katniss and peeta run back to retrieve the weapons as you rub the injuries from his skin with the water. it fades into a milky color in the cooling waters. you pants softly as the water touches your slash at your waist. finnick’s sea-green eyes look up at you, and your brows knit upwards as your hand rests against his face. he blinks rapidly and you don’t feel your heart in your throat until you swallow. something hangs in the air as he pants softly, heavy breathing and recuperating coming from those you’re with.

you find relief that finnick’s okay. more than relief, but you remember your place in his heart and you pull away from him gently. pushing further into the water and wincing harshly, you rub at the injury that remains on your wrist. the injury on your waist draws your eyes as you slowly stand, no stitches required. relief finds you. but then your eyes slowly flicker through the trees and you feel that familiar dread spill into your stomach as you tug out a blade. the others notice the monkeys immediately, big and terrifying as they begin to close in all around.

“peeta.” katniss speaks calmly.

“yeah?” he exhales against a tree near the edge of the lake.

“walk over here slowly.”

his eyes flicker towards an ape that snarls in his face and he gasps while he fumbles back into the water where the five of you stand in. all of you circle, mags in the center. katniss exhales. “get to the beach.” she says firmly. but they begin to close in, snarling and shrieking with sharp teeth. and when one leaps at katniss, peeta takes him down swiftly and the others jump in.

you grunt as your blade slices against throats and the animals fall to the ground with struggle. when a loud splash drags your eyes over, you see katniss sink beneath the water where an ape is on top of her. then your eyes widen when mags suddenly leaps onto the ape’s back. “mags no!” you shout as the monkey leaps off of katniss to give her the chance to burst through the water with coughing and gasps for air. horror fills you when the ape tosses mags against a tree like she’s nothing more than a twig.

“mags!” finnick shouts from where he struggles with an ape on top fo him.

running through the water as quick as you can, you slice the eyes of the apes that leap at you before you reach mags. your eyes are wide as you look down at her. dread and heartbreak spills through you as a canon fires loudly. your bottom lip trembles and your eyes sting as you shake your head. “n-no.” katniss pulls at your arms and begins to drag you from mags.

“the beach! we have to let’s go!” she shouts and you screw your eyes shut before your gaze looks to finnick who looks at mags with wide eyes and a glassiness across his scleras. pulling from katniss, your eyes widen when another ape leaps at finnick.

you tackle him to the ground and his wide eyes look up at you. “l-let’s go!” you shout before rolling off of him and dragging him up by his hand. finnick runs by your lead and you narrowly avoid and dodge the creatures. hitting the beach where peeta holds one of the wounded tributes in the water with katniss across from him, you turn with finnick and both hold out your weapons. breathing heavily, your wide eyes and furious gaze burn into each creature. but they slowly begin to retreat. a canon fires and you blink rapidly as you turn and look at the tribute that sinks into the water.

an aircraft flies down and a claw comes to take the tribute.

your eyes look to finnick on the sand. his sea-green eyes look out to the ocean, his jaw tight and expression pensive. “i’m sorry…” you breathe while reaching out. finnick blinks softly, he sniffles and he shakes his head while his gaze flickers to you, he pulls his shoulder away harshly.

“we both knew she wasn’t going to make it.” his voice is tight, thick and his expression is hard. “you should have let her be taken by the fog.” finnick offers harshly before he stands up and walks away.

you nod stiffly as you watch him walk away, your heart stings and you inhale shakily as you watch him step into the water. slowly dragging yourself up, you wipe your tears quickly and turn away from the group. he’ll hate you forever.

and you can’t even blame him.

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power and control | finnick odair [part two]

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but you can’t help but find your own bitter hurt and betrayal, if only he knew. if only. his voice pulls you from your silence. “you’ve gotten better than ever. were those years in the capitol spent doing more than shopping and being a pretty wife–”

“fuck you, odair.” you spit sharply.

a confrontation snares you an enemy, tension rises further with finnick, you have a drink with a should-have-been friend.

tags found below.

cw: canon-divergence, mentions of blood

part two.

walking down the corridor in the fitted clothing, your brows sew tightly while your hands tense and relax. it feels as if you’re that eighteen year old entering her games for the first time all over again. yet everything is different. there isn’t that pit of hot tar grief and mourning in your stomach. and there isn’t a single droplet of an acceptance of death. you’re stepping into an atmosphere with people who crave survival, and you’re a common enemy. finding allies would be difficult but your eyes only fall to five – really three. you don’t count on talking to katniss or peeta considering their popularity within the walls and the games themselves. you can assist katniss – if she needs – in the arena and you can make them an ally there. but for now as the door slides open for you to walk into the room of gray, you have your mind set on training and eyes scouting the allies whose files you read.

focus is high. no one even glances your way as they train with their weapon of choice. you can feel the buzz in the air of victors high off another deadlier battle to come. walking along the concrete, your brows sew tightly as your gaze falls to a small forest area tucked away. there your gaze falls to the pretty girl on fire with beetee and wiress. wetting your lips, you shift your gaze away and decide to wait until the girl on fire is no longer near them. instead, your gaze looks to mags as she forms a hook and line. glancing around with no sight of finnick, you relax slightly and walk over to her.

a small smile spreads on your lips. “you figured out how to make that your first game right?” your voice leaves soft and kind. mags’s eyes flicker to you and she smiles warmly as she nods, her hands tremble slightly with the line and you take notice of it. with a gentle hand, you step closer to her. “may i?” you ask with a gentle raise of your brows. the older woman nods with a smile and you take the wiring from her. she steps aside and her gaze falls to your hands that hold the wiring. “when we’re out there you can’t be slow – but you still have to be precise. so do this before you do anything else.” you explain and advise before you show her.

wrapping the wiring around your fingers in a zig-zag pattern, you finish off the hook with a quickness almost blurring. mags shifts beside you and you look at her, her brows are raised in an impressed manner and you smile sweetly at her. “here let’s see you try it out. hopefully it helps your speed and steadiness.” you offer gently as you snip the tied wire and begin to unravel it. mags is attentive beside you, when you step aside she steps in and you watch for only a few seconds as she follows what you did. it seems your pattern works for her just as it does for you, her steadiness is far more present and her speed increases. she seems to exhale in relief and pride through her nostrils.

“wow did wrapping up beautiful gifts for your girlfriends before tea help you with that?” a feminine voice slightly deep in tone draws your eyes up. your brows furrow when you’re met with the face of one of the high district tributes. district two’s enobaria. she grins, flashing her sharply filed teeth as her arms cross loosely over her chest. humming with a shake of her head, she raises her eyebrows at you while her dark ponytail swings behind her head. she’s prettier than her photograph. “the rest of us are lucky the chaperone’s managed to pull a capitol baby maker and an old woman. it’ll be easy taking both of you out.”

irritation, hot annoyance – they drag at the inside of your veins as you hold the dark gaze of the woman with the glowing brown skin. “underestimating your opponents? maybe your family should start etching your headstone already.” you reply with a cold bitterness on your tongue. already, curious eyes flicker over but you don’t seem to notice as a sense of protection crashes against your insides.

enobaria’s eyes narrow at you and she exhales a wry laugh. stepping closer to the table, her hands press against the cool steel and she leans over. “i’m going to rip out her throat and make you eat it.” enobaria threatens with a cold tone and a sadistic glow in her dark eyes. and it happens too quickly. anger burns and you find a ponytail grasped in your hand. all eyes snap over the moment enobaria’s face slams into the steel of the table. your eyes are wide and her own eyes burn with rage as crimson begins to trickle from her nostril. leaning down close to her, you shrug off mags hand on your shoulder.

“if you lay a finger on her – i will make you eat all ten of your own.” you threaten in a harsh whisper as she grunts to try and escape your grasp. roughly shoving her back by her ponytail, she hits the ground and she tries to jump up. swears leave her lips as her fellow tribute holds her back while she tosses vicious threats at you.

furrowing your brows, you step away after softly smiling at mags then you look around at the tributes who stare. and unlike before, you can’t seem to read their expressions. when your gaze meets those sea-green eyes you feel your heart squeeze but your eyes narrow and you pull your gaze before you can read his. walking away from the rest of the tributes, you snatch a few blades off one of the racks after a rope and make your way towards the simulation room. the cold atmosphere becomes warm, you wet your lips as you set the situation for the simulation. and your eyes flutter shut.

each sound and each noise is met with a throwing knife. tying a knot and lasso, you find the simulation people crumbling into nothing but pixels when you loop the throat and drag them over to plunge a blade into their skull. you practice your moves with your eyes shut, weaving and dodging assaults while delivering your own with the rope in hand and blades in the other. when the last blade is thrown, you land on one knee with your palm pressing into the cold ground. panting softly, you slowly stand and begin to wrap the rope. when you turn, you find your gaze on the one and only peeta mellark. he blinks and takes one step back, as if he just got caught doing something he isn’t meant to.

finding your opening to not only find an ally in another but to determine if what the media displays by their words and faces is true, you tilt your head and walk over to the doors. they slide open and you raise a brow at peeta with a light smile of amusement spreading on your lips. “did you enjoy the show?” you ask with sarcasm and lightness as you stop in front of him. he’s cute. square face with dirty blonde hair and pretty, sad eyes. not quite literally sad but just sad and whimsical in appearance. fair skin. he clears his throat and he shifts on his footing.

“it was impressive. your eyes were closed the whole time.” he comments with an exhale and a boyish smile. you smile a bit more genuine at his boyish grin. shaking your head gently, your eyes take notice of the way he stares at the rope on your shoulder.

for a moment you contemplate something. then you nod at him. “want me to show you something i used in my games?” you ask with a gentle tilt of your head. “maybe you can find use out of it. i was given the rundown on all of you, and you could use a skill or two.” you offer honestly.

peeta seems to hesitate for a moment as you tug the rope off your shoulder. he doesn’t seem insulted but rather slightly embarrassed, maybe slightly annoyed. but he nods and you smile at him before you turn and gesture for him to go inside of the simulation room. setting up a new pattern and setting for the room, you don’t take notice of the curious people who’ve begun to drift from a different simulation room completed by a particular archer. reaching into your hair-do, peeta’s brows raise when you tug out a blade. he watches closely as you tie the end of the blade to the rope.

“for this – all you need is strength and well, you seem to have plenty of it.” you genuinely offer. his arms are muscular and his build lean with the frame of someone who must carry heavy things on the regular. peeta nods and you turn to the simulation person, a bright orange, who runs at you with a blade in hand. whipping back the rope you wove around your arm, you swing it forward and the pixels fall once the end of your blade pushes into the throat. you snap the rope back. peeta exhales sharply as you run forward and swing the blade in a circle. all five people crumble into pixels. “catch!” you shout at peeta before you toss the blade towards him.

with an impressive slickness, he catches the handle of the blade the rope weaves around and he tugs it. rope drags at the sleeve of your bodysuit as the rope unfurls with ease. peeta whips the rope at you and you fall into a split, the back of your head touches the ground and your eyes glow when the pixels crumble into nothing. some fun seeps into your veins and smile as you leap onto your feet. “now toss it back! let me show you another thing.” you order as the audience outside of the glass doors watch attentively. peeta breathes out deeply and tosses it at you, catching the blade, you nod. “wrap it around your leg and stomp on the rope.”

peeta seems to hesitate before you nod firmly. doing as told, the blade slips out of your hand and hits the ground. he lets out a light laugh with a grin spread on his lips as he kicks his foot back before kicking it forward. the blade lands in his grasp again as the simulation ends. “strength and coordination.” he says aloud what the makeshift weapon requires as your eyes finally take notice of the audience. wiress and mags clapping. you smile at them briefly before you nod at peeta. “thanks.” peeta offers with a nod.

“no problem.” with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder that lasts a second too long, your gaze flickers past the observers and to the brunette.

the moment her jaw sets is the moment you internally swear in realization that the lover's act may not be entirely faulty. not entirely fake. but you find some gratification that peeta really might be the piece you need to be an ally of the woman everyone is vying to have as an ally. you shake away the thoughts that come from the gears turning over and over in your mind when you brush past the tributes. your gaze locks with sea-green eyes and you find ache. ache when you force your gaze away from the man’s face. walking along the concrete, you decide you’ve had enough for the day.

sliding shut behind you, the door suddenly opens when you fall just a few steps ahead. in the dark corridor lit only by the glowing lights from the rooms on each end, you turn slowly as the scent of sweat and cinnamon wafts into your senses. there’s no more vanilla yet in your marrow it still remains. your gaze meets those sea-green eyes and he wears a grin, his showboating grin. finnick odair – capitol darling is on display in his glory before you. it feels as if you’re in that cold corner away from your victory celebration again. if only. then you could simply end your life with a toothpick then and there.

“being friendly is a new manipulation tactic of yours. you could smell his naivety from miles away couldn’t you?” finnick offers with amusement dancing in his sea-green eyes. your eyes narrow and hurt drags at your heart while frustration warms your veins. his hatred and contempt for you is reasonable, it makes sense and he’s owed the ability to feel it. but you can’t help but find your own bitter hurt and betrayal, if only he knew. if only. his voice pulls you from your silence. “you’ve gotten better than ever. were those years in the capitol spent doing more than shopping and being a pretty wife–”

“fuck you, odair.” you spit sharply. a stinging begins to move through your eyes as your heart continues to crack to allow venom to ooze through. but you keep the sadness, the grief, the mourning, the heartache at bay. instead you allow the anger, the frustration, the fury to seep through in your furrowed brow and sneer. finnick chuckles as he slowly steps towards you yet again. and once again you don’t step back but you should. you should as his scent clouds your nostrils and you can clearly see that contempt and bitterness in seas of green. “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” your voice is tight, it’s cold as your fists ball at your sides.

he scoffs softly. “no i do, you see.” finnick replies with a lopsided grin on his lips. those slightly straight brows furrow just a bit as he holds your gaze. “because you told me that day, remember? when you were so much of a coward you couldn’t even look at me while i left.” it feels as if a razor is dragging across your heart, slashing open valves and ripping flesh. your jaw sets as your eyes sting further. finnick chuckles and he walks past you but not before his arm roughly bumps against your shoulder, you stumble back and catch your footing. turning, you watch as he walks away and you shudder when a hot tear slips down your flushed face.

sniffling and wiping at your face, you inhale deeply before you exhale deeply. for a few moments, you lean against the wall and press the ball of your palm against your forehead. “well this is sad.” you jump at the sound of that feminine voice. wide eyes snap to see the dark haired lumber district victor. she stands lean and fairly tall with her arms crossing over her chest, your brows furrow and you wipe at your face quickly as johanna mason walks over to you. “you’re prettier than you photograph.” she comments as she stops in front of you. a thin layer of sweat is a veil over her fair skin, her angular cheeks rosy and pink like her thin lips. narrowing your eyes at her, you scoff.

“so i’ve been told.” you reply shortly before you try to brush away all that threatens to resurface. for some odd reason, you find yourself inclined to return the compliment. twitching brows relax as you push off the wall and she takes a step back. “you look best with your hair up.” johanna’s thin brows twitch and her eyes dart between yours. sniffling again, you turn away and begin to walk down the corridor. how stupid of you to show tears, you’re an idiot. and you just want to sleep but the individual assessments will happen in some time.

“hey.” johanna calls out when you nearly round the corner. stopping, you turn and look at her with an expression of expectancy. she nods at you. “wanna have a drink tonight?” she offers with a raised voice. blinking softly in surprise at her offer, an off-putting and often unpredictable victor with a foul mouth and icy attitude just asked you for drinks. wetting your lips, you didn’t see johanna as an ally but finnick did mention you’d get along with her. though you’re wary, she’s his friend. but you need a drink. nodding gently, she smiles with a hum before she turns around. “meet you at the bar after our dinners then!” and she walks back to the training room. your brows sew up and you slowly turn around.

this should be interesting, right?

eventually dinner passes and you stand in the elevator with your back against the glass wall and your arms crossed over your chest loosely. out of the training attire and freshly showered, you wear a simple loose fitted dress a black shade with dark tights and ballet flats with small bows on the toes. you’ve been pondering over drinks with johanna, maybe you were an overthinker but it felt odd she would ask you to drinks. especially considering she was a friend of finnick’s. of course there were no friends in the games but she was his friend. maybe she wants to be allies. you chew on the inside of your cheek and sigh as the door slides open.

you enter the lounge room for the lumber district tributes. your brows knit together and your muscles tense up as your gaze falls to johanna sitting at the bar. she’s in a pair of inky shorts and a loose fitted shirt with slippers on her feet. dark hair with a red streak and splash is pulled up into a ponytail with some strands licking the nape of her neck. already, she holds a glass of bourbon in her hand. only when you walk over, footsteps thumping against the ground, do you grab her attention. her gaze shifts to you and a grin spreads on her lips as her round eyes hold your gaze.

“wow you showed up.” she remarks as she reaches behind the bar and places a glass onto the bartop.

with a raise of your brow, you take the seat beside – across technically by the way she sits facing you – her and look over the bar at the options of liquor. you never did drink much, you never liked to. but your mind is in desperate need of numbing and your heart soothing. “you invited me.” you pointedly offer as you grasp the vodka and pop off the top with one hand. the liquor pools into the glass and johanna laughs lightly, a mocking laugh. taunting. she no doubt likes you as much as finnick does.

“huh. maybe it’ll be easier to kill you in the arena than i thought.” johanna offers with a tilt of her head. “do you just pick sweetness?”

snorting in irritation, already slightly regretting your decision, you meet her gaze. “is that why you invited me here? to figure out my weakness? to try and read me maybe?” you inquire as you lift the glass. burning liquor pours down your throat and you wince sharply before setting it back down.

johanna hums. “no actually. i want to know what happened between you and finnick.” your hand stills around the glass of liquor. furrowing your brows and meeting her gaze, the sore spot she slashed must be evident on your features by the manner in which she grins and tilts her head. her pretty eyes that sparkle narrow ever so slightly and she sits up, leaning forward with a delighted giggle. “oh so you really weren’t faking for the media like everdeen and mellark.” so she believes they’re faking it, you take note before your mind absorbs the conversation you’re in.

“do you want a piece of this glass in your eye?” you ask bitterly. annoyance and frustration seeps into you rather than what truly lies in your cracking and bleeding heart. johanna raises her brows as if surprised by your threat.

“pardon me – miss capitol. i just want to know how someone who was hated by everyone managed to snag finnick odair and then a capitol elite.” johanna explains with a relaxed grin across her lips before she takes the rest of her drink down the throat. the glass settles on the wooden surface, you thin your lips as you search her gaze to figure out what she’s getting at. what she’s aiming for. “i mean what do you have to lose with sharing your secret?” with a deep inhale and sharp exhale, your mind folds over everything while you look around.

your brows sew as you come to the knowledge and realization that your death might come in the arena. you’re good – but there will always be someone stronger and better. not to mention the factors that are controlled by the game makers. you wonder how you might feel if you were to die with the knowledge that the truth never left your lips. mags was given the truth and yet you felt no lighter then and there. maybe telling johanna would lift some weight. besides, johanna must know your weakness is finnick – you were willing to sign your life away for him.

what big of a deal would it be to die for him?

“president snow didn’t like the fact that we were in love and the media was consuming all we had to offer. hemlock proposed an offer to me and gave me a choice – i marry him to make the games look good as the girl who climbed up the ranks because of the games or i die with finnick and mags.” wetting your lips, you toss back the rest of the alcohol before your gaze burns into the bottom of the glass. furrowing your brows, you shake your head gently as your hand grasps the glass tighter. “finnick doesn’t know any of it. only mags does.”

and your gaze flickers to johanna’s gaze. her jaw is setting and a bitter smile spreads across her lips as she holds your gaze. with a soft scoff, she shakes her head and she exhales deeply. “everything makes sense now.” she speaks through a laugh that lacks any true humor or amusement. it’s an incredulous laugh. johanna then seems to mull over something, her brows twitch as she looks down at her glass. then her gaze meets yours. “do you love any of it? hemlock? the capitol? if you had the chance to escape it, would you?” johanna asks with a raise of a thin soft arched brow.

“if my son wouldn’t be affected – i’d have attempted to burn down the capitol myself by now even if it meant i’d die with a tin of gasoline in hand.” you say with a cold bluntness on your tongue.

johanna grins wider, something seems to gleam in her eyes. “you talk carelessly, you know? how do you know i’m not loyal to the capitol?” the victor questions with a hum. and you wet your lips as you push off your seat, exhaustion drags at your muscles and burns through your heart with the confession that spills.

“finnick said you’re a friend of his a while ago.” and you shrug loosely as johanna’s eyes don’t seem to waver away from you for a second. “i trust you.” and she shifts in her seat as you turn and walk away. waving behind you, you toss her a smile over your shoulder. “fun chat, johanna. thanks for the drink.”

“would you care if i told finnick?” she calls out.

pausing, your mind begins to mull over the question and you turn to face her. “yes.” your heart squeezes and you shake your head gently. “it’d be a waste of breath anyway. i hope you’ll keep this between us.” johanna stares at you for a few moments and you wet your lips while taking a step back. oddly enough, you do feel lighter – better. smiling at johanna, you don’t seem to notice the way she sits up slightly when you offer a genuine smile full of warmth and kindness. “i wish we did meet those years ago. maybe we could have become good friends.” you offer with a touch of sweetness. and johanna scoffs and frowns deeply, she shifts her jaw.

“unfortunately you’re probably right.” she admits begrudgingly.

a light laugh leaves your lips and you don’t seem to notice the way she stiffens up. “you’re not so scary, johanna. the media only ever sees what they want, huh?” and her gaze flickers to yours quickly. giving her a small wave, you turn around and you make your leave.

there’s more to do before you’re pushed into the arena, the interviews you’ve been worrying over the moment you entered the capitol. your mind is being pulled into two directions wondering who to appease as the interviews can make or break the allies and the bonds you have with the capitol. on one hand you could simply be careless, you could finally explode on stage as you’ve wanted since the moment you were reaped but you’re admittedly fearful beneath your anger and frustration. you have a son to worry about, a son you love and adore. but as hemlock’s words echo in your skull you find your decision spilling into your head.

you can’t find yourself close to katniss everdeen if you play to the capitol’s favor.

but you may not live if you don’t.

sleep comes as soon as your head hits the pillow.

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somebody to love | finnick odair

“if you get caught sneaking out again, your dad will kill you.” finnick says with a raise of his brows and a light frown across his pink lips.

“then we definitely shouldn’t waste time living tonight, right?” your eyes glow and a grin spreads on finnick’s pink lips as your hand takes his hand uninjured. “now let’s go, chicken!” you whisper-shout with a light laugh before you interlace your fingers and begin to pull him away. in your nightgown, sneakers, and a coat. finnick follows happily.

he'd follow you anywhere.

after losing his job due to his temper, finnick goes to the only place he thinks to - your home and you help him feel better with the unexpected.

tags found below.

cw: none!

somebody to love.

he paces back and forth for a few moments, furrowing his brows and mulling over his decision as he tosses the small pebble up and down in his hand. the night has casted a blanket over district four, stars twinkle in the sky but a full moon obscures the sparkles and twinkles of the patterns. sea-green eyes would usually admire the beauty of the sky but they bore into the window on the second floor of the home. anger drags at his insides, his brows sew together as he thins out his pink lips and shifts on his boots. finnick sighs and turns away, it’s late and he disturbs you enough with his problems. but as he drops the pebble to the dirt, his gaze turns at the sound of his name.

“finnick?” your voice whisper-shouts through the air. he turns and his gaze meets yours from where he stands on the earth. hanging out of your open window, your brows furrow and you rub at your eyes beneath the reading glasses on your nose. finnick blinks softly, how did you know he was out here? the sight of your face illuminated by the white glow of the moonlight highlights your bright smile. finnick’s heartbeat quickens as you put up a hand. “i’ll be down!” before he can reassure or stop you, you disappear into the bedroom again. guilt churns at his insides and he tenses up his aching fist before relaxing it.

figuring lady luck might be smiling down at him, he simply waits while his gaze flickers up at the room glowing with warm light. shadows cast along the walls and curtains before you reappear with a big smile. it makes him feel warm, it always makes him feel soft and loved when he sees you because you’re always so excited to see him. every time you see him there’s a look on your face only someone who wins a big sum of money should ever wear. but you always wear it for him. for finnick. when you climb out of the window and slide down to the edge of the roof, he steps forward quickly.

“be careful!” he hisses as his hands go up instinctively. you’ve done it a ton of times before. snuck out for his sake by climbing off the roof. you suck your teeth and wave dismissively at him before you slide to hang off the edge by your hands. finnick sighs out in relief when you land on the dirt on your shoes, the dust kicks up around the leather and you fix the bottom of your ridiculous old-woman nightgown he often teases you for. “you really need to stop doing that.” finnick scolds lightly despite the grin that splits on his lips as you turn around and face him. rolling your eyes, you step forward.

“i fell off the roof one time, finn. you need to stop being so uptight.” you tease in a soft, quiet voice. finnick relaxes and unravels almost immediately when your arms wrap around him for a hug. always a hug, no matter what you always greet him with a hug. his arms wrap around your waist tightly, maybe a little tighter than usual. your fall coat is thick, he buries his face into the faux fur lining and inhales as you hold him tightly. chamomile tea and hay sticks to your scent, your parents occupations explain both scents that have become a home to finnick. he pulls away and you smile at him. “so what’s up? you’ve been so busy with work i didn’t expect to see you.”

finnick hums softly, he nods as he steps back and tucks his hands into the pockets of his jacket. the fall air nips at his skin and blows through his messy bronze hair. “i got fired.” he confesses as his fist throbs in his pocket. your brows sew up in confusion and your lips part in concern. the victor smiles and rubs the nape of his neck with a shake of his head. “it’s not a big deal i just…” and he trails off when you step forward and tug his other hand out of his pocket. finnick doesn’t try to stop you, he lets you take his hand and inspect the bruising developing along his knuckles. “someone grabbed my shoulder and my instinct kicked in.” he admits softly, quietly as his eyes shut.

your touch brings tingles to his skin. the familiar tingle that comes when a girl touches the hand of a boy that’s had a crush on her since they were five. your touch is ginger, his eyes flutter open to watch your thumb sweep over his knuckles that cool with the touch of the air. his eyes flicker to your expression and it hurts him to see the worry and concern. your eyes flicker up and look into his sea-green ones. “are you okay?” your voice is soft, warm, caring. loving. he just wishes that love was what stirs in his heart as he smiles at you and nods. with a soft exhale, your gaze falls to his hand and you seem to mull over something before you gasp and your face lights up.

“what?” he asks as you pull your bottom lip between your teeth to try and contain your big smile.

“okay – i was going to save this reveal for your birthday, but why wait? let’s go.” you speak in that soft, quiet voice as you gently knock his arm with your hand. finnick blinks in surprise and his gaze looks around before he follows after only a few steps. you stop when he grabs your wrist. you turn to him with a curious and questioning gaze. “what’s wrong? do you have somewhere to be?” you ask as you turn to him, you don’t pull your wrist from his hand. he releases you with a nod to your house.

“if you get caught sneaking out again, your dad will kill you.” finnick says with a raise of his brows and a light frown across his pink lips.

your gaze flickers to the house before your eyes look to finnick. a smile as infectious as a deadly disease spreads on your lips and you step closer to him, so close that he can smell the jam and toast on your breath and that scent of books that always seems to cling to your hands. soft and gentle hands that press to his chest. “then we definitely shouldn’t waste time living tonight, right?” your eyes glow and a grin spreads on finnick’s pink lips as your hand takes his hand uninjured. “now let’s go, chicken!” you whisper-shout with a light laugh before you interlace your fingers and begin to pull him away. in your nightgown, sneakers, and a coat. finnick follows happily.

he’d follow you anywhere.

excitement buzzes through him as you pull him through the woods, adrenaline pumps for a number of reasons. you’re both walking out of bounds of the district to the territory no one’s meant to go in. the air is cold and it clings to his skin while your scent and the scent of the earth clouds his mind. but what seems to leave him warm enough to evade the cold and buzzing enough to not care about the danger you’re so easily walking through is your fingers interlaced through his. you’ve never held his hand for so long and he feels like he’s the eight year old boy again being hugged by the loud girl everyone seems to love. for good reason. all because he gave her a piece of his sandwich.

when you reach a tall hill of earth that obscures the horizon past it and a dark cavern the lake disappears into, you turn to finnick and he ignores his disappointment when you release his hand. but it’s gone quickly when you smile at him sweetly and he watches as you breathe slightly heavy with him from the running. “you trust me, right?” you ask with a glitter in your eyes as you slowly step towards the portion of the earth that rises up. ivy hangs like a curtain down the hill and you smile at finnick who nods without hesitation, his heart drums in his chest. you hold out your hand. “close your eyes and don’t open until i say.”

finnick steps towards you and he grins. “if you throw a mudball at me again i’ll find the nearest spider to throw at you.” he warns as he takes your hand. your pretty laughter fills the air as you smack his hand. finnick then shuts his eyes and he hears the rustle of ivy and greenery. slowly, you begin to pull him forward and he follows with your touch lighting up his yet again. it takes twenty paces for you to stop, he can feel soft grass beneath his shoes and he smells soil while he feels cold brushes of air. the soft sound of running water fills his ears.

“okay, open.”

and his eyes slowly flutter open. his sea-green eyes widen as he looks around the area that seems to be a cavern of some sorts. minerals wedge into the walls of the tall cavern and glow with the moonlight that falls from an open hole above. the stars that fall into the cavern reflect off the lake. as if the lake holds the sky. and finnick’s eyes sweep the cavern of greenery and soil, a circle holds the end of the lake where water trickles down an opening on the opposite end where the lake continues through. he’s in awe, his jaw slack as he looks to you with a furrow in his brows. “when–how–” he can’t offer a single word, you smile at him.

“i found it while foraging a month back. i visited it most nights and discovered that it looks prettiest when the moon is full. your birthday falls on a full moon this year but…” you shrug as your gaze drags along the interior, his heart thumps in his chest as his eyes sting and he blinks softly. you look back to him, the stars reflecting off the lake water that seems to dip down some feet glow along your features and in those pretty eyes. “i figured why wait. i mean–” you scoff and look around with a big smile. “have you ever seen anything more beautiful?”

finnick can’t breathe. all the air’s disappeared from the air. “no…” he finally inhales as his gaze softens on you. and with a few steps, he finds his arms around your waist and your body pressed to his. you let out a soft noise of surprise as his hands press to your shoulder blades and arms cling around you like you’re his lifeline. do you know that you are? that you’re the reason he won the games? that you’re the reason he can keep going despite the capitol, president snow, and what his life’s become as the darling of the capitol. “thank you…” finnick breathes into your neck.

soft and gentle hands stroke his back. you hug him tightly. “i love you, finnick.” you mumble against his chest, he can hear the smile in your voice. finnick smiles against your neck and his heart skips a beat.

“i love you.” he offers in response. no ‘too’. he’s never liked using it, it dulls out his words. at least he thinks so. and you deserve nothing but him entirely. slowly, you pull away and you smile up at him. he doesn’t realize tears slip down his eyes until you laugh softly and hold his face. wiping away his tears with gentle hands, your eyes gaze up into his for just a few moments.

finnick finds his arms unable to let you go. he finds his heart racing to control his muscles and push him to do something he might regret if you should reject him. it could ruin everything. but the glow against your face, what you opened to him, you. slowly, he pulls his arms loose out of fear he may do something stupid because of his own heart and wants.

but his entire body stills when he finds your lips against his. his eyes widen as you kiss him deeply, your hands holding his face and fingers brushing into his bronze locks. before he can register more than the reality happening, you pull away and your wide eyes look into his. covering your mouth, your brows sew up and your fingers curl in against your chin. “i–i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to–well i did mean to but i shouldn’t’ve–” and finnick shakes his head, grabbing the back of your neck as his other arm remains around your waist to pull you against him. your eyes flutter shut as finnick’s do and your arms wrap around his neck tighter.

it feels as if a flame burst inside of him. finnick feels dizzy as he tastes the strawberry on your lips and feels your hands weave through his hair. he grasps the fabric of your jacket and he steps forward as if to try and press closer against you, his entire stomach flutters and his heart races so quickly he wonders if you can feel it. his tan skin is hot, his lungs burn and you pull away before he allows himself to suffocate against your lips. panting heavily, both of you cling to one another and wide eyes meet one another. finnick’s in disbelief, he shakes his head and licks his lips.

“you…” he trails off his tight whisper, as if he still somehow fears the response.

blinking softly, you nod as a smile breaks across your lips. “yes…and you…?” you offer with the same fear evident in the shock that paints your hot face.

finnick nods eagerly. “more than you could imagine.” he responds and you let out a laugh, pulling him close again. finnick laughs against your lips and you both fall to the soft grass as your friendship finally crosses the boundary neither of you knew the other to stand on. waiting for a chance, waiting to take that leap.

and to finnick – he’d go through everything he’s gone through ten times over if it meant it’d continue to bring him here. on top of the love of his life, kissing and smiling while his hands hold you in a way he’s only ever dreamed.

power and control | finnick odair [part one]

next part

grabbing his wrist and jerking it, twisting it away from your jaw painful enough for him to grunt out in pain and drop the hairpin – your grasp tightens around his limb as his expression twists to one of pain. your stomach churns and heart cracks. “it’s been a while, odair.” you spit coldly as your glare burns into his pretty sea-green eyes. twisting his arm further, he grunts out and nearly falls to his knees. hearing your mentor shout after you, you ignore her as you look into finnick’s eyes. “i’m heartless – you said it yourself. the only thing stopping me from breaking your arm is the vindication that’ll come from killing you in that arena myself.” and as you hear the steps of your mentor closing in, you roughly release finnick who narrows his eyes at you in a hot glare.

a glare of hatred.

you find yourself in the games again. hated and beloved by two vastly different sides, puzzled by ominous instructions, and in a far more deadly territory than before - yet what seems to be the biggest obstacle is the handsome capitol darling with tan skin and bronze hair. your former love, finnick odair, and the not so former feelings you harbor.

tags found below.

this story is a sequel to a story you can find here. it is advised to read that story before you read this one. thank you.

cw: none!

part one.

“i guess there are some perks to being a capitol wife.” you exhale shakily as you look at hemlock with no tears left to cry or screams to rip out.

all you can feel is the buzz of death, the searing hotness of shackles around your wrists, throat, and ankles. how stupid were you to think you could escape the games? you’d given up everything for the sake of security and safety not just for yourself but for the ones you loved. the ones you love. and they’d been reaped just as you had. with some pull, you get to say goodbye unlike the other tributes. and while you initially believed you wouldn’t be able to cry anymore, your heart squeezes and your eyes sting when you look to your son. he reaches out with chubby fingers and hands.

“my baby…” you shakily exhale. he babbles a cute ‘mama’. your brows sew up and you exhale shakily as you rush to a silent and solemn hemlock. the child boy smiles happily when you scoop him into your arms. your eyes squeeze shut and you keep your cries silent as your arm holds him close while the opposite hand holds the back of his head. blinking softly as tears roll down your cheeks, you exhale shakily as your son embraces you while toying with the clasp of your pearl necklace. your eyes flutter open and you look at hemlock with a hot glare, eyes narrowing. “i don’t have time to get into how you ruined my life and how this was all for nothing. if i die–”

“you’re not going to–”

“if i die.” you repeat harder, sharper as tears roll down your cheeks and you gently rock the child in your arms. “you can’t let him grow up like you. like any of the capitol bastards – my son won’t live to be a heartless monster that thrives off the misery of the poor.” there’s cracks in your voice, a tightness where your heart pounds in your throat. your husband but not your love wears furrowed brows and a solemn expression you absorb with a soft scoff. shaking your head gently with a bitter smile, you tilt your head. “getting sentimental, hemlock? what happened to your–” and before you can finish your jab, he steps forward and embraces you with your child in your arms. your eyes widen.

hemlock has never embraced you out of pure intentions. it always came before something, usually sex. when he turns his head towards your ear, you hear an archaic language fold into your mind. blinking rapidly as your mind translates the language only 0.5% of panem can still speak – your eyes widen and your lips part in surprise. hemlock steps back and you exhale sharply, confusion and recognition burn through your mind as he slowly takes your child away from your arms. hemlock nods firmly, his brows furrowing tightly as he glances around the room. “please. i know you don’t love me and i don’t love you…but i care. i always have. if you want to live – do what i said. if you want to come back to him, do what i said.” and you exhale shakily, when your son begins to cry and reach out towards you.

but the doors swing open. “time’s up.” a white peacekeeper offers roughly and you drop your hand from reaching out to the wailing boy. confusion ceases your crying, a coldness stops you from screaming and tearing at your own throat again. wide, teary eyes can only watch as your son cries for you while hemlock holds him close. the two disappear through the wooden doors before they slam shut and you’re alone. all alone. blinking rapidly and exhaling shakily, you drop your face into your hands and shake your head gently. hemlock’s words echo through your skull as your eyes flicker to your mentor who walks in, her brows knitting as she meets your gaze.

you soon find yourself on the train. files fall down in front of you and you’re left to your own devices at a table adorned with a beautiful dinner. a glass of wine rests in your hand as your eyes flicker through the files gathered on the tributes you’ll be going up against inside of the arena. all past victors, people that have not only lived through the games but may have improved drastically. but you find confidence in yourself as much as you find buzzing anguish, dread, and ferocity. everyone no doubt believes you’re a pampered capitol trophy wife – maybe it’s grown true over the years but you didn’t spend your free time having teas and shopping with the other mothers. you did more, maybe because some part of you knew that you never would be free truly.

in your mind, you piece together the files and keep what’s important, the wine glass is soon forgotten with only two sips taken.

district one. gloss and cashmere – winners of the 63rd and 64th hunger games respectively. sibling duo. their strength lies in throwing knives. the two are pictures of beauty, golden blonde hair with angular faces and piercing sky blue almond eyes.

district two. brutus and enobaria – winners of the 42nd and 62nd hunger games respectively. their strengths lie in blades just the same, though enobaria has sharp teeth. two older tributes, she’s pretty with mahogany skin and inky hair while he’s worn by age with no hair but an immaculate physique.

district three. beetee and wiress – winners of the 32nd and 52nd hunger games respectively. they’re both smart, vastly intelligent. and truthfully you find yourself filling with more concern over them then the tributes your mind previously absorbed. intelligence is far more valuable than brute, especially considering how betee won his games. pulling your bottom lip between your teeth, you toss their files into the pile you’ve taken to be potential allies.

though you know the chance of allies is low for you. for the past few years you’ve been capitol dog. a pampered trophy wife. a traitor. and as you sort through the files and tributes, your brows furrow and your heart bleeds. a traitor especially to one particular district four victor. you toss his file into the pile with the tributes from district one and two before you set mags’s file down into the pile with three’s tributes. you sort through the rest of the files, the ally section remains short and empty with only three files until you reach the last two files.

district twelve. peeta mellark and katniss everdeen – winners of the 64th hunger games. and the ones you’ve followed in the media the moment they were reaped. two star-crossed lovers so they told the media, you’re unsure if you believe them. it seems while peeta may love the pretty round-faced brunette it’s not certain she feels the same for the honey blonde boy. she’s the best with a bow, so says the file, but she’s soft when it comes down to it. you know it, you know it by the display with the little girl – rue was her name. but what drags at you as you look between the two files is what they’ve seem to done.

the revolting in the districts, the rumors and whispers of a revolution. it all began with that salute. your brows furrow deeply and you exhale sharply as hemlock’s words echo in your head yet again.

“keep katniss everdeen alive. whatever you need to do, do it. but don’t let her die.”

for a few moments as you gaze down at her photo, you mull over hemlock’s words. you wonder why he would say that, why he would whisper it in a language he spent years teaching you. wetting your lips as you admire her dark braid and almond eyes – your own eyes flutter shut as you think through interviews and the games themself. there’s a chance her and peeta are lying about their love, but if they aren’t – if it’s even one-sided – you can use it to your advantage. and you’re unsure whether to follow hemlock’s words, but he was serious and the words that had followed made your stomach flip.

you exhale deeply as you shut their files and drop them into the left pile. sitting on top of mags’s, beetee’s, and wiress’s files. when your mentor enters the room, your gaze flickers to her’s as she looks down at the piles from across the round table. her expression is thoughtful for a few seconds as she thumbs through the larger pile of files. “i’m assuming these are the enemies?” she questions with a tilt of her head. your brows twitch as her gaze meets yours, she smiles softly and shakes her head. “i know you, unfavorable. you think for the long run not the moment.” and you muster up a smile, turning away as she walks off and disappears through the sliding door yet again.

your gaze looks to the small pile of files and you blink softly. a deep exhale leaves your lips and your hand creeps into the pocket of your jeans. tugging out a photo, your gaze drags along the tan skin, bronze hair, and sea-green eyes of the district four victor. you wonder if he’s change. you wonder what’s going to happen when you find yourself face to face with him. it’s selfish of you – but you wonder if he still loves you. and it’s even more selfish of you to hope he hates you, to hope his love rotted into hate as a protection and coping mechanism. wetting your lips, you toss his photo to the ground and stand up from the table.

keep katniss everdeen alive and don’t die. that’s your mission and the only way to succeed is to make sure everyone else fails.

leaving the dining cart, you don’t offer your fellow male tribute a glance as you walk along the floorings towards you room. sitting around sulking and dreading won’t do anything. you’re sick of it all – the sadness, the anger, the grieving, the mourning – everything that’s plagued you since those peacekeeper’s took you. you’re sick of it all.

your happiness and comfort doesn’t matter anymore, ultimately it never did. the moment you were born in a district rather than the capitol your fate was sealed and decided. but you’re not taking it lying down. you’ve loved and you’ve lost – you’ve lost more times than you can count on both hands and feet. but you won’t lose again. even if it means fulfilling a chance to reach your son again you’ll take down anyone and everyone who tries to step in your way to that ending. not an ending of happiness, not an ending of warmth and joy and fairytales. as you enter your room and shut the door behind you, you exhale deeply.

you don’t need to be happy, comfortable. you just need to be satisfied. you need your dues back, there’s no freedom from the capitol or the games – so you’ll make the most of what time you have. all the while keeping katniss everdeen alive.

the capitol trophy wife. it feels all the more present when the time comes for your escort. you look at your reflection and exhale softly. “i look ridiculous.” you comment as your hands push down your figure and shape. your mentor and stylist both share a look as your eyes soak up the appearance you hold.

pretty wouldn’t begin to describe you. it seems trauma and time was all you had needed to become something beautiful enough to rival those of the capitol. and your beauty is focused in with colorful shadow over your eyelids and fluttering false lashes, a heart shape outlines your lips and round circles of blush paint your cheeks. there’s a thin layer of foundation across your skin to make it appear paler. your hair is style intricately with braids and pins, hanging off the edge of the sticks in your hair are rubies and garnets. and the attire. it’s intricate and a beautiful deep crimson to match the rest of your look, gloves soft and satin climb up your arms to your elbows. around the ring finger – your engagement ring in the form of threads.

“you’ve worked hard these past years to be seen by the capitol as one of them.” your mentor begins. your brows slowly knit and you turn to face her while gently tilting your head. her arms cross firmly over her chest, her expression is pensive and thoughtful as she nods at you. “you need to look like one of them for as long as you can and keep playing into it as hard as you can. you’re already stepping into the arena with more sponsors than any tribute could need – don’t jeopardize it.” and realization settles with her words. she’s right. you turn and look at yourself in the mirror before you turn back to her and nod gently.

“right.” you offer.

and soon enough, you walk along concrete and stone in tall heels with your back straight and chin up. the moment you step into the area where the tributes ready for the escort, you find eyes burning into you and conversation shifting into something quieter and more secretive. you don’t waver, your eyes admire the beautiful horses that attach to the carts and carriages – it’s been a while since you’ve seen one. a small smile threatens to split on your lips but you don’t let it as your gaze flickers along the space and atmosphere. the glares, dirty looks, and noses turning up confirm what you already know.

there’s a common enemy – and it isn’t the man to blame for the reunion of victors. but rather the traitor, the capitol trophy wife.

unfortunately for you – everyone has a weak spot. and while you’re grateful to not find him in sight quite yet, your cool and cold demeanor shatters when your gaze looks at the older woman gently petting a horse while feeding it sugar cubes. something in you melts and your eyes widen, lifting your gown off the floor a big smile spreads on your lips.

“mags!” you shout joyfully, grabbing many more eyes yet not feeling or seeing them when the older woman turns and her face lights up. she smells like sugar and honey when you find your arms embracing her tightly. her embrace is warm and as tight as she can muster. you exhale shakily as you feel that foreign sense of comfort and love for the first time in years. “i’ve missed you so much…” you breathe against her graying hair styled beautifully. you feel her tap your back twice. she missed you too. pulling away from the hug, your expression falters and you shake your head. “i’m sorry you’re here again…” you whisper softly.

mags’s eyes glitter with a sadness, but she shakes her head gently and reaches out. grabbing your hand gently, she squeezes it and smiles brighter at you – warmer. you smile softer at her as you blink away the sting in your eyes. it isn’t fair. she shouldn’t be back, she’s not going to make it in the arena. and yet your expression hardens as you hold her hand and squeeze it gently. “i’m going to do everything i can to make sure you live as long as you can.” you promise firmly, looking down into her eyes. mags blinks softly, she seems hesitant, reluctant – but she knows you. she simply smiles and brushes her knuckles against your cheek.

“get away from her.”

that voice fills your ears for the first time in years. your muscles stiffen up as you let go of mags’s hands. the voice isn’t charming, it isn’t warm or loving, the voice isn’t even pretending. it’s icy and cold, so much so that you feel a chill up your spine despite the warm weather. slowly, you turn around and your gaze drinks in the sight of the man before you. his brows furrowing and lips thinning as sea-green eyes seem to drink in your appearance. his muscles and broad chest are on display, a lot of skin – you refrain from the thoughts of who forced him into it.

you have two tasks – three tasks only. finnick doesn’t fall beneath either. and besides, he hates you, it’s best to keep your distance. no matter how much your heart craves to reach out. no matter how your muscles twitch and tendons pull with a natural body instinct to step forward and hold him. to grab his face and press his pink lips against your own. to inhale the scent of cinnamon and vanilla fully. you brush everything away, his eyes hold nothing for you but a bitterness and a contempt. just like the eyes of everyone but mags. with a roll of your eyes, you offer mags a smile over your shoulder before you walk past finnick.

“your luck ran out.”

just four paces away finnick’s voice drips out into the air that feels icy and thick. you stop and turn to face him, your brows furrowing and eyes narrowing as he wears a grin on his lips but his eyes glow with that contempt and bitterness. “what?” you ask tightly, sharply as your gloved hands fold down in front of you. and slowly, finnick walks closer to you. until he stands so close your gaze drags up to continue to hold his sea-green eyes. tilting his head, he reaches out and your muscles tighten when he snatches a hairpin from your hair and presses it up beneath your jaw.

“we’re going to be in that arena together finally. you’re not lucky anymore.” he offers coolly, his grin crooked and lopsided. the implications that hang off his voice, off his tone, they make your stomach churn and disgust curl around your insides. that familiar bitterness seeps across your tongue, your eyes narrow and your jaw sets. “being a trophy wife looks good on you, unfavorable. unfortunate that his money and connections won’t help in that arena, huh?” finnick taunts and mocks bitterly. and it happens too quickly, the heartbreak and the betrayal you feel by his switch – his warranted switch – drags at your muscles.

grabbing his wrist and jerking it, twisting it away from your jaw painful enough for him to grunt out in pain and drop the hairpin – your grasp tightens around his limb as his expression twists to one of pain. your stomach churns and heart cracks. “it’s been a while, odair.” you spit coldly as your glare burns into his pretty sea-green eyes. twisting his arm further, he grunts out and nearly falls to his knees. hearing your mentor shout after you, you ignore her as you look into finnick’s eyes. “i’m heartless – you said it yourself. the only thing stopping me from breaking your arm is the vindication that’ll come from killing you in that arena myself.” and as you hear the steps of your mentor closing in, you roughly release finnick who narrows his eyes at you in a hot glare.

a glare of hatred.

you step back and your gaze flickers around to take notice of those that seem to stare on with varying expressions. the looks of people who held presumptions and just found themselves wrong. maybe you were a capitol trophy wife, maybe you were a common enemy, maybe you were a traitor. but you didn't spend your years collecting dust on a shelf.

privilege didn't make you weak. it made you colder, stronger, better.

brushing past your mentor and back to your carriage, your legs feel oddly heavy as do your arms. an angry expression paints your features yet the bitterness and betrayal at his behavior doesn’t feel like anger. it feels what seems to forever exist inside of you. guilt. sadness. you blink back the tears that threaten to spill as you find finnick’s contemptful glare searing its image into your heart.

you made your bed years ago – for finnick’s sake and for mags. now you’re being forced to lie in it. and as you try to shake the weight off of your muscles, you contemplate what life would have been like had you not made the decision you made. maybe death would have been better than where you find yourself, but then again, finnick couldn’t die – mags couldn’t either.

something twists in your heart and you exhale shakily while petting the beautiful horse. killing finnick – you feel sick just after hurting him. your brows sew up and you press your forehead against the neck of the horse as a realization dawns. a horrible, gut-wrenching, and agonizing realization. you’ve known you love finnick. it’s as natural to you as breathing air. but as your mind flickers through the possible scenarios of what might happen in that arena, you realize and you know that when it comes down to it, you won’t be able to kill finnick. you won’t be able to even injure him.

but by that look in his eyes. he could kill you. as a matter of fact, he seems eager to. and you know when it comes down to it...you'll let him.

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INTRO: pearl ; she/they ; bi

DNI: basic dnis ; transphobic ; homophobic ; incest ; pedophile ; racism ; sexism

MASTERLIST coming soon

REQUESTS: closed for now