Xxcrelisexx - Uh Oh Spagghettio

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Never ever be normal about fictional characters but please GOD be normal about the people who play them, I am begging you

time to have evil sex with my villain wife

i think it’s really amazing how total strangers who have nothing in common but their shared love of a work of fiction will come together across distances and dedicate their time and energy working collaboratively to build an extensive, richly detailed fanon that completely fucking sucks

I went up to a park for my daily sunlight, the kind of prescription a doctor gives for an ailing Victorian child, and as I was there, crisping in the sun and the heat, a small boy ran up to me. He had a firm sense of intent, and he stepped about five feet from me very decidedly. He stood to me like a fighter you see, with one foot forward, slightly crouching, chubby hands balled into fists. I was watching but I wasn't going to respond. I don't go out of my way to interrupt the days of children, but he stomped his foot and he screwed up his face with determination and he let out this guttural yell at me. It wasn't a cry, he wasn't upset, but it was one solid note. His mother apologized and explained to me that he was going through a phase and believed he was a dinosaur. Children are so fucking delightful. I hope it isn't just a dinosaur phase, I hope he sticks with it.

by far the best part of grocery shopping is the little babies. i was carefully selecting mushrooms when i felt upon me a piercing gaze and looked up to see a very chubby and very red-cheeked baby staring intently at me from a grocery cart with a slightly furrowed brow, hand clutching an apple for dear life. i wiggled a mushroom at her and she gasped and kept staring. i turned back to the mushrooms and heard a shriek. i turned around and the baby stared in anticipation. i wiggled another mushroom and she shrieked again in delight. she looked down at the apple in her hand, considering it for a moment. fair-minded as she was, she decided it would only be right to wiggle produce at me in return, and she held up the apple and shook it with all her might. i think i could live forever now