I Was Settled Into Nothingness; A Kind Of Non-being, And I Accepted It. It Didnt Make For An Interesting

“I was settled into nothingness; a kind of non-being, and I accepted it. It didn’t make for an interesting person. I didn’t want to be interesting, it was too hard. What I really wanted was only a soft, hazy space to live in, and to be left alone.”

— Charles Bukowski, Women (via reversedmetaphors)

"Not everything is about your autism."

Actually it is. My autism effects:

How I see the world, including light sensitivity

How I interact with the world, including difficulties with social interaction, speech difficulties and processing disorders

How I feel the world around me, including hyposensitivity or hypersensitivity to temperature, pain, or stimuli as well as proprioception which can make it difficult for me to physically navigate the world

How I feel my body, including interoception which can lead to missed meals, dehydration, and even urinary urgency (which is a problem just by itself) because I don't notice the signals my body gives

How I relate to those around me, due to my alexithymia, so often I feel nothing or can not work through the bodily sensations that indicate emotions.

How I cope with the world, including needing to stim, escape noises others may not hear, or requiring accommodations to help me survive an "average" day

How I rest after a normal day, including delayed sleep onset, reduced melatonin and increased cortisol, making getting to sleep a 2 hour long endeavour and staying asleep a task unto itself

So yes.

This is all about my autism.

Hush Now Fanart

Don’t mind me, just collecting all the links to the absolutely wonderful fanart that has been made of Hush Now. I just. Thank you all of you. This is mind-blowingly cool and I’m just here vibing :)

The Warden and Red Chaos by undefinedscream

I’m fine on my own by tododokiiii

Red Chaos design by ghostiereanimated

I’ll miss you by mothercoyote

There’s nothing like getting lost in a good fanfic by owlwinter8

Codependecy through the years by eelsdancingonpluto

Adventure by mothercoyote

Royal Flush by owlwinter8

Oh Why by pussboyapologist

Hush Now by mothercoyote

Siren by crookederos

Villains by mothercoyote

Hoodies by mothercoyote

Jester vs Schlatt by owlwinter8

A game of cards by ghostiereanimated

The Hero Business isn’t pretty by mothercoyote

Stray Cat by kathyrealmstales

Sam and Fran’s by kathyrealmstales

Jester of Las Nevadas by stillamisfit

Jester Defending Las Nevadas by kathyrealmstales

Painting Together by kathyrealmstales

Chronos by lun-ar-tra-sh

Tommy hauling Chronos by eelsdancingonpluto

Contrasting Realities by dayseagedoodles

Red Chaos by kathyrealmstales

Red Chaos by karma-uh

Contrasting Realities by dayseagedoodles

different meals, different people by scytheart

Red Chaos design by lun-ar-tra-sh

The Blood God by undefinedscream

Road Trip by owlwinter8

Red Chaos concept art by NYMIS

A Conversation by panddraw

Photo Taken Seconds Before Disaster by owlwinter8

An encounter with the angel of death by owlwinter8

Tommy doesn’t look like a civilian by owlwinter8

You look like a Tommy to me by hiblue

Red Chaos concept art by void-ant

Tommy in Dream vs Wilbur hoodie by Eu_nyx

Cooking with the angel of death by scytheart

I make threaths not promises Tommyinnit by 100-reasons-sbi

Tommy and the Blood God by jellyswissroll

Are We Friends Wilbur by owlwinter8

Learning To Cook by owlwinter8

You Got Me a Christmas Present by lilacdaisy

THIS IS OUR POGTOPIA by hiblue

Red Chaos by fridges

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

I’m concerned.

hmmm

moodboard