Hi! I Have Been Having An Off Day Im Kinda Exhausted And Anxious Slightly Snappy Haha. I Was Wondering

Hi! I have been having an off day I’m kinda exhausted and anxious slightly snappy haha. I was wondering how would the darkling react to an anxious reader that he cares about. 😊

a/n ive been a little MIA but im working i promise!! i felt really apathetic about writing for awhile bc of some personal stuff but ive been trying to get back into it bc im genuinely happier when i write :)

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- ok so i think how he reacts to an anxious person that he cares about depends on where you're at in the relationship,, which might be kinda a 'duh' but it needs to be said for how im setting this up lol

- bc if he's kinda just starting to figure out his feelings, i think he'd be so surprised by how much he cares that he has to hold back his immediate reactions, bc he may have his faults but he's def protective once he realizes something is affecting/hurting the person he sees as the sun

- that protectiveness stems from wanting to be what makes you happy, he wants to feel like he's your shelter so that he feels like he's good enough for you. He wants you to be happy so he can feel your warmth but he also really wants the redemptive feeling that comes from knowing that he's your protector in a way.

- he wants to protect and make you happy so bad, sometimes you need to be like 'umm...i really appreciate that you want to torture the person that bumped into me a little too hard on a bad day,, but maybe let's not??' especially if you are still in that phase where he kinda scares/intimidates you bc you know him more as the General

- not only are his more over the top reactions a little scary bc you don't want to offend him by not wanting to talk about it to avoid blowing the situation up,, they're also confusing

- bc you had no idea he cared if you lived or died let alone cared if you were nervous or not?? but sometimes it makes you feel really comforted, bc if someone as hardened as the darkling can care that much about how youre feeling than you can't be as awful as you're feeling

- and it's also comforting bc he's clearly strong and powerful and when he puts a hand on your shoulder and stares at you like you're the only tangible thing in the world and telling you that he's not going to let anything happen to you,, the rational part of your anxiety is appeased to say the least.

- alright but that's at like the first stage of the relationship for him, bc i feel like he def has like twenty stages he goes through before finally being in a committed relationship bc even though he wants an attachment and love so badly bc he hates his eternal loneliness, he has a lot of layers to work through before he feels secure enough in you as a person to risk vulnerability

- so if he's at the point where he's accepted what he feels for you,, but has yet to really act on it, this is where he starts to give himself away a little

- like you'll mention being stressed about training in the Little Palace, or not getting along with someone and he immediately jumps to encouraging you. It's kinda funny bc at first he seems like he's just trying to be a supportive pal bc at this point ur sorta friendly (at least more friendly than anyone else is with the darkling) but then he kinda losses himself in talking about how amazing you are.

- and if youre feeling anxiety/bad bc of someone in particular, you better not mention their name unless you're 100 percent sure you're furious at them.

- sometimes it causes some strain bc you don't necessarily want him to get involved, and he's not above lowkey guilting you into telling him the full story, but it's not really intentional. He just starts talking about how much trust he puts in you and you just let the little things go after making him promise to leave things alone.

- if your anxiety is general,, or just bc of a. bunch of little things and he's at a point in which he's accepted how much he cares about you but has not told you yet,, he'll try to hide how soft he feels, but sometimes he slips up.

- honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if a really big relationship milestone came from that.

- like you crying one night and the darkling finding you, and then him taking you back to your room and promising to stay so that you don't have to feel alone and then the next morning you wake up and he's holding you

- at first ur like ?? but he acts so normal you're like maybe that can be platonic? but then it starts happening more and more and neither of you mention it and then when you two finally do get together youre like 'ohh? im stupid'

- and if your anxiety comes from your worry about him?? wow--he'll have to stop himself from kissing you

- this is a man who is so used to being hated/feared that the concept of someone worrying about him so much they physically don't feel well?? that would hit him STRAIGHT in the chest, and he'd be so quick to pull you to him, and then you'd be like--are you ok??

- wouldn't be surprised if that's how you found out he had feelings for you,, like he'd say something like "i didnt know the brightest star in the sky could want to protect the darkness instead of banish it. You're the brightest light I've ever known, it was more than enough for me that you weren't repulsed by my darkness...and now..."

- anyways,, if you were already established together and you were anxious, he would have no need to hold back

- if he notices your hesitant to let him 'help' he might do a thing or two to reduce sources of your stress without telling you...which sometimes leads to you getting a little mad, but depending on how extreme his actions were, he normally smoothes it over quickly

- i mean,, it's just how he shows that he cares, he's never had someone that could snap their fingers and get rid of his adversaries or reschedule a thing or two to make his life easier

- he sees no harm in it,, and even though sometimes other people may give you a bit of a hard time bc of his evident favoritism,, you know it just means he cares

- if he goes really far, you're more willing to be mad at him, but honestly when youre upset all you want is to be near him bc there's nothing more comforting,, so you agree to hold off on arguing lol

- i mean there are always lines that get crossed, so there are times he cant charm himself out of your anger, but the longer youre together the more he tries to hold off on doing things that make you really angry,, unless he feels like the person really hurt you, then nothing can stop his anger

- if youre actually together he's much more quick to comfort you physically if youre feeling really anxious,, he'll kiss you everywhere until he's all you can think about, which works for when your anxious over small things

- if your problem is larger, he cant exactly kiss it away though i cant say that doesnt help but it's still comforting and relaxing bc duh,, so i feel like he's really touchy if youre upset

- kissing sometimes leads to other stuff,, but that should be its own fic/headcanon bc i have a secret head cannon that feeling needed or like the only one his partner has is a turn on for him bc it returns some of the power he feels like he gives up by letting his partner care about him

- might have to write that fic now that im thinking about it....

- if youre so anxious you dont want to be touched, it'll be a little harder for him, but if he reaches for you and you back away he'll try to talk you down and remind you that he's not going to let anything happen and as long as he's breathing he'll make sure you're okay

- if youre officially together and youre anxious about something small, he's actually surprisingly nice to talk to,, before you were close you felt like you were bothering him with small, insignificant things,, but once you know that he cares about you he's a patient listener bc he likes being really present with you when he can bc he's busy so often

- sometimes if youre worried or upset he jumps to anger towards the object of your distress before comfort, but once youre at the dating part, you know that that's just how he is, and anger is how he shows love in a way?? lol, so you just have to clearly tell him that you'd rather him stay with you then rush out and like smite someone, he'll stop and comfort you

- sometimes how much he cares makes him angry at himself bc he begins to question if he'd pick you/your happiness over his goal, if he can't convince himself that you'd never get in the way of that, he gets a little cold until he feels assured in his loyalties or at least assured in the fact that your happiness would never conflict with his goals

- that can happen at any point in your relationship,, i feel like it'd happen more when he's unsure about his feelings bc seeing how much he cares about someone that's nothing to him makes him want to banish his nerves

- overall though,, once he cares about you, whether he's fully accepted it or not, he'd burn the world down to make you feel okay again,, or stay in bed with you for awhile, or both--whatever you want, really

another banger 😌✨

Half Light Ch. 2  (Darkling x Reader)

Summary: Reader becomes a spy for West Ravka, after certain events unfold she is sent to spy on the Darkling and derail his plans to attack.

Warnings:

Word Count:

Masterlist

Author’s Note: For the purpose of consistency and the timing of my plot, the journey from Kribirsk to Os Alta is about 

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Keep reading

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIAEPEJIAWEJOAIJEWIOEIJWAO Crossing lines is just PERFECT!!! HOW DARE YOU END LIKE THAT, GOD LORD, ARE YOU LISTEN MY SCREAMS FROM BRAZIL, BECAUSE I'M!!! ALL SEXUAL TENSION, I'M IM I... *Pass out*

AHHH THANK YOU!!! so sorry to leave you there but i needed to for what im planning!! hehehe muahhahah

I’m sorry that all of that happened. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. I hope you have a better day tomorrow and if you need someone to listen/rant to I’m always down to listen.

thank you!! i appreciate this so much! my askbox is such a bright place for me especially on days like today :))

LOVED LOVED LOVED

Half Light Ch. 4 (Darkling x Reader)

Summary: Reader becomes a spy for West Ravka, after certain events unfold she is sent to spy on the Darkling and derail his plans to attack.

Warnings: Very mild smut, suggestive language

Word Count: 3.2k

Masterlist

P.s. I may or may not have forgotten to proofread 🤦🏻‍♀️

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“You know it’s quite rude to stare Ms. Kirovsky.” The Darkling spoke as if he was amused by your sudden shock. He stared back at you, and let his eyes roam over your features. You almost felt nervous that he’d been having the same dreams and would recognize you, but Maria’s face was all he saw. What would he think of your actual appearance, you thought?

‘Shame, he’ll never get to see me.’

You regained control over your emotions effortlessly again and shoved your thoughts to the back of your mind. “I apologize, sir. You merely caught me off guard.” You said, calm and collected to make up for your previous lack of decorum. His lip twitched slightly at that, the faintest smirk gracing his face.

“Nothing to worry about, let’s get to business.” He motioned for you to sit back down as he crossed the room and sat opposite to you. While you sat back down you noticed him analyzing your face again, as if he was searching for something in your eyes. Maybe he wanted to find a tinge of insolence there, something to find a fault in you.

You watched him watching you for some moments before he opened his mouth to speak. His lips looked heavenly as did every other part of him. He brought a hand to his face and rubbed lightly at his beard, his hands were carved by the gods and you could only imagine how they would feel wrapped around your thighs and throat.

“As I understand it Ms. Kirovsky, you activated an explosion on the crossing of the fold that put all passengers aboard in danger. Do you care to offer any explanation for your actions?” His words were measured and calm, not at all what you’d expected from a man of his reputation.

“With all due respect sir, I was doing what was needed to survive. If I hadn’t had that inferni set off the blasting powders towards the volcra, I might not be here and neither would the rest of the Grisha on board.” He narrowed his eyes and took his time to think of a response. “Very well then. Would you like to comment on your skill with the assault rifle. Materialnik aren’t schooled in combat training, much less with the use of mortal weapons. What do you have to say about that?” His tone was both accusatory and smug, as if he was looking for a slip up. I’d have to lie to make up for my mistake, but in a moment of life and death there had been no other way out.

“I decided to take shooting lessons while I was on leave and I quickly gained skill. When the other volcra came upon us and I saw the rifle I took it as our only chance. I knew that the noise might attract more monsters, but I did what I thought was best.” You kept calm as you spoke, but inside you were waiting anxiously for his reaction. The Darkling on the other hand was feeling his intrigue for you rise quickly.

A materialnik that he’d never taken notice of, is all of a sudden the talk of the camp and he didn’t know what to make of you. Your looks were fairly common, dark hair and hazel eyes, but there was something there that he couldn’t put his finger on. A fire in you that came off in sparks every time you looked his way and opened your mouth to speak. You impressed him with your mannerisms and the way in which you carried yourself. Your lack of arrogance also had you one step ahead of everyone else brave enough to seek his attention. His interest had peaked and you wouldn’t leave his mind very soon.

Two minutes passed and the Darkling had yet to respond, all he did was stare off into space. You watched him carefully as he rolled his lip into his mouth, deep in thought.

‘I wonder what his lips would feel like?’ You shook yourself out of your dirty thoughts of a man you’d just met, right on time to see the Darkling look your way again.

“You’re dismissed Ms. Kirovsky. I think that your actions were adequate and the results far outrun the risk you took. I’ll have you escorted to a tent nearby, you should sleep as much as possible. We have a long road ahead of us tomorrow morning.”

You both got up from your seats and the Darkling stepped to the entrance of the tent where you heard him speaking to an oprichniki about taking you to the nearest available tent to his. He wanted you near him, but you couldn’t for the life of you decipher why. You wondered if he was still suspicious, despite having let any accusations go you knew you’d have to keep a low profile for now. The Darkling walked back over to you and took your hand in his. Though you didn’t move away, his touch startled you. His hands were big and cold in contrast you your warm ones but despite that, the gesture felt familiar and comfortable.

“One of my guards is waiting to take you to your tent and he informs me your luggage has already been delivered there. Goodnight Ms. Kirovsky, it has certainly been a pleasure.” He slowly brought your hand to his mouth and placed a small kiss to your knuckles. Your chest erupted into butterflies and you let out a shaky sight before smiling slightly. The Darkling smirked playfully and carefully dropped your hand.

“Goodnight, General.” Your gaze lingered on his black abyss eyes as you said it and you swore he’d put you in a trance. Backing away from him you made your way to the exit and gave one last look over your shoulder to find him staring back. You left the tent and were quickly escorted to your own. Once there you released a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding and let you shoulders unwind for the first time in days. The first part of your mission was over, you’d gotten through the fold and past the Darkling’s strange interrogation. Now, however, you couldn’t get your mind off of him. As you undressed down to you shift, you felt as if the more clothes you removed, the hotter your skin grew. You were flooded with images of the Darkling kissing your neck, his hands roaming your body while your eyes rolled to the back of your head in pleasure. Your knuckles still tingled from his kiss and you only wish he’d kissed your lips instead as you dropped into the cot that had been placed for you to sleep on. The feeling of need was growing and growing, but so did the drowsiness that was now catching up to you after an eventful day. The heat was becoming unbearable and you rid yourself of your night shift, as soon as your head hit the pillow again you were out.

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You opened your eyes and found yourself not in your tent, but a bed. A beautiful four poster bed amid a room painted forest green. The sheets were black silk and the posters of the bed looked golden and made for the gods. Bringing a hand up to your face you felt Maria’s features had disappeared and replaced by your own. You propped yourself up on your elbows to look around at that dark room and find a mirror when he came into view. The Darkling was half naked in front of you, with only his undergarments covering him. You opened your mouth to speak, but not before he climbed onto the bed and rested on the back of his feet. Behind him his vanity mirror confirmed your suspicions, the Darkling was seeing you as you were and nothing else.

“How are we here?” You asked him and his dark eyes focused on your face before moving to hover over you. He placed his large hand on your cheek and you couldn’t help but lean into his touch and kiss his palm. All the while gazing into his eyes. A small smile opened on his beautiful face as he started to speak.

“I don’t know. All I know is I can’t take my mind or my eyes off of you.” He said breathily. I let out a light sigh and pushed my head up to meet his. We stayed like that a few moments, noses touching and staring deep into each other’s gaze. “I need you.” You said in a slight whine, closing your eyes shut as you felt the hand holding your face move to the back of your head and push until your lips met. His lips felt like softness personified, two pillowy wonders sweet as honey and beautifully sinful. You swiped your tongue across his lower lip and he opened his mouth to you. Your tongues battled for dominance and he easily won. The hand that wasn’t holding you made it’s way to your hip and squeezed before sliding further down to your thigh. The Darkling slowly kissed you for what seemed like hours, and you couldn’t stop the small moans escaping your mouth at the wonderful pressure of having his body atop yours and his hands pressed against your thighs and face.

His lips wandered down to your jaw and then to your throat where he sucked marks into your skin before licking and blowing cool air onto them. Heat rose in your chest and spread throughout your body, settling in your lower abdomen. Need was growing as his hands searched your skin for something to grab at, he landed on your breasts and palmed them through your clothes. You let out a pleased moan and lightly bit the spot by his jaw and sucked a matching mark onto him. The Darkling groaned at the gesture and came back up to meet your lips, he lifted his head and pressed your foreheads together before placing a chaste kiss to your nose, causing you to smile widely.“I don’t know what brought us here, but I thank it. You make me feel alive.” He whispered. You met his lips again and let yourself fall at his mercy. The hand on your thigh started pushing your shift up to the apex of your thigh. But right as the Darkling’s hands reached your undergarments he backed away from your kiss to look at you.“Are you sure you want this milaya?” He asked, intently watching for you response. “Touch me, please.” You answered out of breath as his hands traveled further to where you needed him. Your knickers were pulled aside and …

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Your eyes slowly blinked open as a ray of sunshine hit you from above. There, streaming from a small opening at the top of your tent it spread across your face and made you feel it’s warm glow as you lifted your head to survey your surroundings. Your mind flooded with the memories of your dream and its abrupt ending. His touch felt so real and you were fully aware of your surroundings and body. You could clearly recall every touch made and word spoken, the look of the room and the darkling’s gorgeous figure. You got up and started getting dressed when you pulled out a mirror to check your appearance. Just as you’d seen in your dream, the tailored appearance you’d worn all these days had faded back into your own. You took a look at your features and studied them as you wouldn’t see them much over then next few months. A sense remorse and disgust fell over you at the thought of what you were doing, but you were already on this side of the fold, what use was lament now. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you scoured your throat for the mark you had a few days ago, only to find it was gone. A new one had taken its place though. On the other side of your neck there were two fresh bruises at the base of your neck and upon further inspection, you found a third just between your jaw and the bottom of your ear.

‘Just like the one I gave him to match.’ What was it about these dreams that made it possible for you to come back with proof of the nights adventures. The memories filled you niece more and your core aches just thinking of his hands touching you where you need him most. His long, deft fingers grazing your nipples on his way down to your heat. Only stopping to circle your clit and illicit wild moans from the deposit parts of you before sinking into your cunt, weepy with need of him. You subconsciously brought one hand to cup your breasts and the other to press on your pelvis in reaction to your sinful thoughts while your head hung back. The hand at your breast reached up to your lips and you wished he would come to your tent and see you there with the marks he’d created and take you.

A sharp whistle sounded outside your tent signaling for the soldiers in camp to rise. You were snapped into motion and grabbed the mirror again to begin your tailoring. Your fingers stretched to try and cover your hickeys, but you stopped thinking there’d be no use in trying and styled your hair to cover what your kefta could not. The silence that filled your tent was both relaxing after such an eventful morning, but also left your thoughts open to that little voice at the back of your head berating you for feeling so strongly about a man you’d only met once and who could easily lead to your untimely undoing. Despite all of that, the Darkling had taken up residence in your head, and wouldn’t be leaving any time soon. After packing away your things you grabbed your suitcase and walked outside and were met two oprichniki waiting for you. One of them stepped forward when they saw you and the other came to take your bag, at your confused look the first spoke up.

“Ms. Kirovsky, we are to escort you to the general’s coach, we are departing soon for Os Alta.” You nodded at his explanation and the three of you were on your way. The Darkling wanted you to ride in his coach, you couldn’t fathom why he would extend such courtesy to someone he’d only just met. You thought maybe he wanted to keep an eye on you for safety precautions, but even so you doubted he often offered other Grisha a chance to ride with him. As you approached the road where the coaches were stationed you could see the Darkling and the raven haired girl from yesterday talking. While he looked bored and done with the conversation, Zoya looked furious and her mild shaking didn’t help disguise that. When you were close enough for them to see you Zoya simply shot you a look disdain and disgust and left. The Darkling turned his head to look for you and as soon as your eyes met, something inside you softened and melted away altogether. You stopped a few feet away from him, but his carried him to you instead to fill the gap. “Ms. Kirovsky you look lovely today. After your brave acts to protect your fellow grisha on the crossing yesterday, I thought it only fitting to let you have a comfortable journey. I hope you won’t think it too forward of me.”

Not too forward at all, considering what I dreamt of you doing to me last night.’ You shook your head and looked up at his face before answering, there was a glint of something in his eyes, but you couldn’t quite figure out what. “You are not too forward General, and I thank you for your kindness. It has indeed been a tiresome couple of days and I truly appreciate it. Will anyone else be riding with us?” you asked, trying to see if he would also have invited Zoya to come along. Before you could think about it further, he answered your question in a very nonchalant way. “No actually, it’ll only be the two of us if that’s alright with you Ms-“ You stopped him in his tracks, if you had to hear him call you Ms. Kirovsky for what felt like the hundredth time you’d surely scream. “Maria is fine general and there’s no problem at all.” You stated your piece and just as soon, the darkling propped his hand out for you to grab and once you did you walked together to the pitch black coach and he helped you in before getting in himself. The man was clearly a gentleman despite his reputation and it helped ease your mind about him being unpleasant. The two of you sat together in silence for a few minutes until the horses started up. You were off to Os Alta and the Journey wouldn’t be easy. Especially having to sit through it with him at such close proximity and not being able to let your guard down for a second. Of course wanting to jump his bones on sight didn’t exactly help either.

The ride went by fairly easy and you shared conversation back and forth, talking about what you or rather Maria had done while on leave and you told him everything you had read in her file about her time in Novo Kribirsk. The Darkling told you about some new developments of the war as well as mentioning the tragic loss of his Sun Summoner and most valued heartrender Ivan during the attack orchestrated by Zlatan. In that instance you recalled what your general had told you about the attack and how heartless and cold he came off as when he told you the details. You could only imagine and pity the poor girl who was murdered for greed, just like the one you were posing as now. By sunset you were exhausted of just sitting there, but luckily the Darkling informed you they would e stopping soon to hunt some dinner and stretch before trekking on to a nearby inn for the night. You quickly expressed your gratitude and he laughed a small laugh at your enthusiasm over getting out of the coach for a bit. In the midst of laughter between the two of you though, you noticed something. With the last rays of sunlight shining through the window and onto his perfect face you saw it. A small dark bruise, identical to yours and in the same exact spot you had placed it the night before in your so-called dream. The realization shook you to your core, but the expression of shock left your face as soon as it came and you smiled at the man in front of you as if nothing wrong was going through your head.

He had marks like you, but did that mean he was actually there. Did he see you too in those ultra realistic “dreams”? Or were you just going insane.

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Heyyy all, so I love how this chapter turned out and I hope you all love it as well. My posting schedule isn't really working out as I'd hoped, but I will try to get out chapters not too far apart. I'm starting a new semester of classes soon so my schedule will be a bit hectic, but I promise to update as soon as possible since I also work. Love you guys so much and thank you for your support. xoxo

- V

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congrats on 1k!! you deserve it! <3

thank you!!! this is so nice :))