Yeticantfeelyou - 🪽🪽🪽

Never could , never will.

maybe you cant trust any of them

I live by the sword

I take my boys everywhere I go

Because I'm paranoid

I keep looking over my shoulder and peeping around corners

My mind is playing tricks on me

Day by day it's more impossible to cope

I feel like I'm the one that's doing dope

Can't keep a steady hand because I'm nervous

Every sunday morning I'm in service

Playing for forgiveness

And trying to find an exit out of the business

I know the lord is looking at me

But yet and still it's hard for me to feel happy

I often drift while I drive

Havin fatal thoughts of suicide

Bang and get it over with

And then I'm worry-free, but that's bullshit

I wanna sleep i don't wanna die

Please just let me down

i can't even be something. Even if I had someone to blame I wouldn't even blame anyone, I kept running back to the issue. I kept running back to the smoke. Its all on me.

I don't even try that hard anymore. I give up so easily , the winter is near and I really don't want to spend it outside but I know I can't stay here forever.

The fever and the obsessive thoughts and the anger cuts right through me and it is only cured by one thing. I can't get away from the dreams that consume me when I am sober for even one day, one second without that feeling feels like an eternity. The seconds pass like hours and the years pass like seconds

I wish this wasn't a "cool and edgy" thing to go through.i wish people knew how awful it is instead of being like "omg coke girlies🤤🤤😋😋 I love doing lines!1!1!1!"

drug stigma and romanticized versions of addiction on TV make me feel so empty. If it was like that truly everyone would be in the same boat. But it's not like that. It's all fucking suffering. it's emptying you hit by hit.

Im grown, when I see people my age living their lives with sobriety and not even thinking About drugs and all it is like 'omgg crackhead energy we doing cracktivities!2!1!1!1" ya it used to be fun like that in the beginning. Now it's been so long.

I can't go a fucking few hours without that horrible awful emotion. I write my letters to people who'll never read them begging them to forgive me for pushing them away for dope.