I'm Imagining The Seige Of Cloud Recesseses Going Incredibly Different If Wen Xu Is Greeted At The Gates

I'm imagining the seige of cloud recesseses going incredibly different if wen xu is greeted at the gates by lan I-never-stopped-fucking-your-dad qiren

Also I love the idea that in at least one of these generations of students he had to check the students birthdays, do a bit of math and maybe write a letter or two

sequel to LQR/everyone

Lan Qiren had spent his wild youth drinking tea designed to forestall fertility every day with the sort of rigid obedience usually associated with the Lan sect rules, but that didn’t mean he didn’t sometimes…worry.

“But really,” Nie Mingjue said, chin on his hand and shit-eating grin on his face. “How many of the current generation’s parents were you fucking around the time they were conceived?”

“Please stop asking about that,” Lan Qiren said dispiritedly. He didn’t expect the request to be successful: Nie Mingjue, being the child of the one person that Lan Qiren – and everyone else in the cultivation world other than his father, for that matter – had never met, was the only one who could ask these sorts of questions without any concern whatsoever, and therefore, naturally, he did.

“But really. I mean, I know Huaisang’s not yours, he’s too much like Father, but I know you were sleeping with my father and Second Mother around the right time –”

Nie Mingjue had walked in on them one time. It’d been awful.

(Mostly because Lao Nie had reacted by saying, “Qiren, you’re a teacher, you explain what threesomes are!” and then running away without even bothering to put on his clothing, while the second Madame Nie had somehow managed to vanish by the time Lan Qiren had turned around; he hadn’t even seen her leave, though he’d almost gotten a sense of the grin she must have had before she’d disappeared somehow still lingering behind.)

“– and of course everyone knows about Cangse Sanren and you. She was your longest running lover, wasn’t she?”

“She used to be, but then she died,” Lan Qiren said. “It’s probably Sect Leader Wen these days.”

“Of course it is.”

“…I really don’t mind stopping. I mean, if it’s awkward for you.”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“I mean, he murdered your father. He’s planning to take over the world. I probably should stop.”

“No need, no need! I’ve already sworn a blood feud over the murder, you’re opposing the conquest, to my mind that covers all the relevant bits. Anyway, you know my father. He’s probably in favor of you continuing sexing up Wen Ruohan, murder or no murder.”

That did seem rather like something Lao Nie would do.

“Hmm. Actually, come to think of it, I don’t suppose there’s any possibility that Wen Ruohan’s children…?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Are you sure?”

Lan Qiren wasn’t sure of anything. He pinched his brow and regretted, regretted, regretted. The wedding night wine served in the Nightless City had been delicious, but it wasn’t worth this conversation. “We have nothing in common.”

Nie Mingjue cackled.

“All right, then,” he said enthusiastically. “If we’re using that standard: which of your students do you see something of yourself in…?”

My brain is empty again. I'm working on a Orion on Earth!AU but in the meantime.

I present you with Trio of Chaos.

Megatronus, Orion Pax and Soundwave. And how messed up beggings of Decepticons were.

Its nearly canon but i like them s litle bit more feral then what was said in series. Basicly they are gay and want to overthrow goverment.

They literaly started with zero knowledge how to do it. They were improvising all the time.

They just literaly woke up one cycle, meet up and thought. Okay. Time to start revolution.

Anyway. I will drop some memes and if someone is interested i will try to write something.

Chaos trio memes!!!

(Pictures mostly finded in internet. They dont belong to me)

If you want more memes or story behind them let me know. Its not enough to write whole ff but some headcanons or shorts are posible

If, somehow, Shen Jiu were to reattach himself to Yue Qingyuan, the other peak lords would absolutely think he’s possessed and go through the same deal they went through with SY!Qingqiu. It would be more difficult this time, though, because it would be basically impossible to have a meeting about it since every time YQY showed up, he would have the subject of their meeting no more than one step away from him, and likely attached in some way. They’d have to hurriedly make the meeting about some other business. Meanwhile, SJ is not as suspicious as he could be, because he’s used to the other peak lords acting irritated or displeased around him. He would genuinely think they didn’t want him there because they didn’t like him, while also suspecting them of talking behind his back.

Eventually, YQY gets told directly that the meeting is about SQQ and do not bring him with you, which is very difficult to do because SQQ has become a permanent fixture at his side, but when he finally does go to the meeting and the other peak lords are like “is SQQ possessed or something, why did he suddenly change and start clinging to zhangmen-shixiong like that?” and it’s clear they’ve been talking about this amongst themselves for awhile because they’ve come up with extensive theories, and YQY just has to go “uh no actually… he’s just like this this is normal. He just finally stopped being mad at me.”

And it’s been like, more than 20 years since SQQ came to CQS… so they all just kinda look at YQY with this “wtf” expression, but YQY looks so happy with it that they honestly don’t know what to say.

Then of course SJ barges in and immediately clings to YQY’s arm and pulls him off to go deal with some “urgent business” all the while glaring at everyone present.

I like to imagine after the Earth is cyberformed and the war has ended, Optimus introducing humanity to the rest of the galactic counsel as Cybertronians' long lost sibling. Every other race is just stareing at an eldritch techno-organic species that is closely related to the immortal metal giants that have destroyed untold numbers of planets and races in a war that's lasted longer than most recorded history and getting really scared. Then they find out that Cybertronians came from the garden planet and humans come from the chaotic death world that drifts through space and consumes uninhabited planets (kinda like G1 unicron) and they want to cry. Imagine finding out that the worst person you know has an evil twin and the two of them get along great together. If its the kind of verse where Autobots and Decepticons made peace, then you better believe Megatron will be enjoying himself. The only things standing in the way of Cybertronian universal domination was their low numbers, lack of resources and division between their people, none of which can stop the joint Cybertron-Earth forces.

You. You get me.

It's years later and things are going great.

The Cybertronian Civil War is over, Cybertron is being slowly restored and the Cybertronian people have a place they can call home now. Optimus heads the cybertronian faction against his will (there was a vote and it was basically unanimous). Earth 2.0 is doing awesome, and the former squishy humans are now pretty robust techno organic horrors that now have access to SPACE and all the problems that come with it.

We're thrilled. Living the dream here.

Now, everyone is ready to rejoin the wider inter-galactic community bc the humans are getting twitchy and can only be gently directed for so long before Optimus has to take off the leash and let them go feral.

But Optimus is a Smart Cookie ok.

He's political about it. Especially bc he knows that us little assholes love a good fight, and some people literally live to argue.

So the joint forces of Cybertron and Earth present their case to the Intergalactic Congress of Species on why they should be a part of the wider community and get the benefits of that.

The Council takes one look at them and goes "FUCK no" and we all know that humans love being told that they can't do something. Such spiteful little creatures we are <3

So what do we do? We start our own intergalactic government. So far it has two species, maybe three.

But everyone is absolutely Terrified of these weird little monstrosities born from the Chaos Bringer and have the literal walking embodiment of their planet, another Chaos God but less "kill devour consume", walking around like a tourist.

Primus Lite enjoys caramel lattes with hot sauce and burnt marshmallows. He's an easy guy to get along with.

We're just Vibin' man

optimus is optimus can have very different connotations depending on the series

zhangmen shixiong got a cool new eyebrow scar!! oh its from miao jiu…