I Swear Trying To Write Smut Feels Like:

I swear trying to write smut feels like:

His hands were hands and then the fingers were in the hand and the hand was with the fingers and the fingers had the hand in the other hand then the fingers dragged to the hand with the fingers and it was hot

Not In the Cards sneak peek!

So instead of part 1, i’m posting a prologue tomorrow (9/16) at 23:59EST that features Jin and his background. Here’s a brief summary:

A tragic love affair sets the stage and unfolds the story yet to come.

warnings: mafia, angst!!!!!, alcohol, smoking, age gap, dirty cop, smut (not explicit), family drama, trauma, mention of su!c!dal thoughts, abuse

Masterlist

Taglist:

@polarnightmyg @rinkud

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Series snippet!

pairing: bodyguard!Yoongi x CEO!fem reader

genre: mafia, e2l

summary: As the youngest daughter of the most powerful family in the country’s crime syndicate, you never thought you would be forced to takeover your father’s money-laundering casino. Due to unforeseen circumstances, you and your brother, Jungkook, are left in charge to carry on with business. But in the absence of your father and oldest brother, Seokjin, the two of you are targets of rival bloodthirsty mobs desperate for power and turf and you must be protected. But the man who’s assigned as your personal bodyguard is someone you never thought you would see again. This wasn’t in the cards.

warnings: violence and murder (not explicit), one incident of partner abuse, guns, drugs, alcohol, smoking, gambling, smut, ANGST!!! So much angst, trauma, PTSD

masterlist

"Are you dangerous, Min Yoongi?"

"It's a little late to ask that."

I should maybe wait to post this until I cool off a little because I might say some things I regret but...nah, I'm gonna get it out of my system before I boil over.

This Yoongi situation has gotten sick. It's perverse, it's fucking medieval. What the fuck? Is this fucking public self-flagellation in any way necessary? What's next? Is he gonna have to wear a fucking hair shirt? Get driven through the streets while someone shouts "Shame!" behind him? Will that be enough chastisement? You wanna put him in stocks in the middle of Gangnam and have people throw shit at him?

Who is demanding that he prostrate himself like this? I didn't even need that first apology, much less this appalling spectacle. I can't imagine anyone other than some fucking perverted anti wants to see this from him. I can't even...

"...a significant stain on the precious memories I have shared with the members and fans...brought shame to the name of BTS..."

What? What is he talking about? Is this normal? Is this a "Korean culture" thing? Is this something he has to do as a matter of rote just to "display remorse" and settle his case? Someone fucking help me out here. Help me understand why anyone would feel compelled to say such awful things about himself over a routine offense that's barely worse than jaywalking.

"I apologize for putting the members, who have always believed in me, through such a difficult time because of my own actions."

Stop it. They love him. They'll endure anything for him. They still believe in him. They always will.

"I am deeply sorry to the fans who have always given me more love than I even deserve… I know that no words could heal the wounds and disappointment that have set in your hearts..."

Stop, stop, stop. I can't bear this. The "wounds and disappointment?" What? What? I wish I could tell him to his face: I am not wounded! I am not disappointed! You didn't assault someone. You didn't murder anyone. You did nothing violent or vicious. You had a few too many and fell off a fucking putt-putt scooter. Big fucking deal! BIG FUCKING DEAL!! Nothing like that could change the feelings of anyone who loves you and we fucking love you!!!

Uggghhhhh, I've gotta create a Weverse account. I can't just say this stuff here. I know he'll never see it wherever I post it but...

It's sick. This is sick. This is fucking gruesome and morbid. It's inhumane, and I'd feel that way even if I had no idea who he is. If I was still as BTS-ignorant as I was just little over a year ago, and I saw this letter not even knowing anything about the person who wrote it, I'd be like...what the fuck did he do? Set fire to an orphanage?

This has got to stop. I cried over this for the first time this morning. It's sickening. Heartbreaking. Completely unnecessary. It's ritualized public humiliation and that's a fucking human rights violation. I don't even know what the fuck else to say.

If and when this is all over, I hope he fucking emigrates. No one should have to live in an environment that demands such degradation over the slightest misstep. I don't care where he goes, just not there. It isn't healthy. It isn't safe. It isn't fucking normal. It's twisted, archaic shit that certainly shouldn't be happening in 2024 in a country that prides itself on its modernity, sophistication, and alignment with global peers. This isn't a West vs. East thing. It's humane vs. inhumane. No one should have to tolerate inhumanity.

Jesus Christ, I hope he has good people around him right now who are looking out for him.

I'm already down bad for Namjoon and 2D men.. and now he's both? My heart can't take it

Happy fanfic writer appreciation day!

And it's okay if you're on hiatus or have writers block or just busy with life. You're still amazing!