The Original Not Being Included Was Criminal. Here You Go: Https://xkcd.com/231/

the original not being included was criminal. here you go: https://xkcd.com/231/

xkcd

Cat Proximity

Cat Proximity

Blåhaj (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

omg blahaj

so funniest fucking thing happened just now

I was doing the dishes when my dad walks in holding a stuffed shark. I, a fan of stuffed animals, goes “Ooo what’s that?”. He explains that he was coming in to ask me about it because he found it in a random package in our yard. I check the tag and it’s fucking blahaj.

while he is checking the package for the actual owner, I’m wondering what the chances are that this blahaj got accidentally delivered to my trans ass. my dad comes back with the original box and guess who it belongs to? My sister (@modeus-the-unbound).

This shark got the wrong trans sibling lmao

i want the 14 billion dollars or the 100k in cash or the suitcase full of money or the money preferably all of them

Saw a thread on Twitter of "gifts to give a person with ADHD and autism" that was full of stereotypical and quite frankly patronizing items, so here's a list of I (autistic individual) want instead as a gift

Money

Fourteen billion dollars

Free coupon to kill somebody with my teeth

Suitcase full of money

Cool looking rock

Scratching post for me to sink my claws into

An albino elephant

The head of Jeff Bezos mounted on my wall

Uncooked rice

A cup full of blood

100k in cash

green mario

What the fuck did Luigi ever do to Toad?!?

:3

Found this on /r/unixsocks and oh my god I live it. The comment made it better.

To anyone wondering why this faulty update got pushed so widely (and also why a company would allow this to install automatically), it was apparently an update to malware definitions. Those are MEANT to be pushed as often as possible, and there’s many factors at play that could’ve caused the update to turn out faulty - the root cause I recall is an access violation when trying to parse a definition file, and because the process is very highly privileged on Windows (understatement, but whatever), when the OS kills the program, it brings itself down as well.

That explains why CUSTOMERS of the software fell for this bug. How CROWDSTRIKE managed to push the update faulty is beyond me - it could be anything really. They’re also meant to push definition updates as often as possible, and I guess “don’t bring down the operating system” isn’t something worth testing in their eyes. Or maybe it was environment discrepancies, bad management, it was Thursday and everyone was too drowsy to properly test, management was too busy compiling… loads of options.

If their parser is really able to produce an access violation, I am truly surprised that it didn’t happen sooner.

idk if people on tumblr know about this but a cybersecurity software called crowdstrike just did what is probably the single biggest fuck up in any sector in the past 10 years. it's monumentally bad. literally the most horror-inducing nightmare scenario for a tech company.

some info, crowdstrike is essentially an antivirus software for enterprises. which means normal laypeople cant really get it, they're for businesses and organisations and important stuff.

so, on a friday evening (it of course wasnt friday everywhere but it was friday evening in oceania which is where it first started causing damage due to europe and na being asleep), crowdstrike pushed out an update to their windows users that caused a bug.

before i get into what the bug is, know that friday evening is the worst possible time to do this because people are going home. the weekend is starting. offices dont have people in them. this is just one of many perfectly placed failures in the rube goldburg machine of crowdstrike. there's a reason friday is called 'dont push to live friday' or more to the point 'dont fuck it up friday'

so, at 3pm at friday, an update comes rolling into crowdstrike users which is automatically implemented. this update immediately causes the computer to blue screen of death. very very bad. but it's not simply a 'you need to restart' crash, because the computer then gets stuck into a boot loop.

this is the worst possible thing because, in a boot loop state, a computer is never really able to get to a point where it can do anything. like download a fix. so there is nothing crowdstrike can do to remedy this death update anymore. it is now left to the end users.

it was pretty quickly identified what the problem was. you had to boot it in safe mode, and a very small file needed to be deleted. or you could just rename crowdstrike to something else so windows never attempts to use it.

it's a fairly easy fix in the grand scheme of things, but the issue is that it is effecting enterprises. which can have a looooot of computers. in many different locations. so an IT person would need to manually fix hundreds of computers, sometimes in whole other cities and perhaps even other countries if theyre big enough.

another fuck up crowdstrike did was they did not stagger the update, so they could catch any mistakes before they wrecked havoc. (and also how how HOW do you not catch this before deploying it. this isn't a code oopsie this is a complete failure of quality ensurance that probably permeates the whole company to not realise their update was an instant kill). they rolled it out to everyone of their clients in the world at the same time.

and this seems pretty hilarious on the surface. i was havin a good chuckle as eftpos went down in the store i was working at, chaos was definitely ensuring lmao. im in aus, and banking was literally down nationwide.

but then you start hearing about the entire country's planes being grounded because the airport's computers are bricked. and hospitals having no computers anymore. emergency call centres crashing. and you realised that, wow. crowdstrike just killed people probably. this is literally the worst thing possible for a company like this to do.

crowdstrike was kinda on the come up too, they were starting to become a big name in the tech world as a new face. but that has definitely vanished now. to fuck up at this many places, is almost extremely impressive. its hard to even think of a comparable fuckup.

a friday evening simultaneous rollout boot loop is a phrase that haunts IT people in their darkest hours. it's the monster that drags people down into the swamp. it's the big bag in the horror movie. it's the end of the road. and for crowdstrike, that reaper of souls just knocked on their doorstep.