Alfred Zu Windisch-grtz - Tumblr Posts
May I ask you, dear gentlemen and gentlewomen, what time is it? I humbly believe that it’s a meme time!
Once again trying my best in the field of some incredibly local history-related jokes and puns realised with the help of memes which sometimes seem old as time itself… Fortunately, we constantly speak about time, space and particular historical epoch over here, thus I proclaim the notion “outdated meme” a social construct. 👍
Aaaand proudly present to you this notorious composition called “The Austrian Chancellor who came to save the imperial day from the God-knows-where-in-the-Rhein-region and the 33 Bohemian noblemen (with the intrusion of one Moravian “fonctionnaire”) who accompanied him on his thorny life-path”!
Of course, 33 person in one picture would be a little bit too much. That’s why I took the creative liberty to pick only the most famous and influential ones whom I’m going to name all at once (with the exception of dear Fürst Karl, for sure, cause his emersion will probably start causing headaches for everyone who still checks this God forsaken blog soon…)!
Let’s start with two wonderful people standing proudly behind Schwarzenberg’s back as they were his favourite adjutants during the Napoleonic campaigns of 1812-1814 and owe him a lot with regards to their careers in the Austrian military ranks. The first one is Karl Johann Nepomuk Gabriel Graf Clam-Martinez (count Karl Clam-Martinez, in short), a wonderful soldier and even more brilliant administrator who will actively help Metternich in his rivalry with another exceptional gentlemen featuring in this meme which took place in the late 1830s (like he suddenly died in 1840).
Cool story alert! In April 1814 Clam was a member of the group of allied generals who accompanied Napoleon himself on his journey to Elba and saved the emperor from certain humiliating experience few times. Napoleon was truly grateful to him and treated him well during those memorable times. 🤲
The second one is non other than Alfred Candidus Ferdinand Fürst zu Windisch-Grätz (prince Alfred zu Windish-Grätz, in short), a flamboyant, hot-headed, very straight-forwards military man (future field-marshal) who - according to the contemporaries - managed to steal the hearts of half of the renown European beauties, most notably of Wilhelmina, duchess of Sagan. So, yeah, he actually was Metternich’s adversary №1 for a while, when it came to the sphere of scandalous love affairs, and let me tell you all, it was a sh*t show I still can’t comprehend fully because it was too much. Even for such an eccentric person as Metternich… ☠️
(Actually! Actually, both Clam and Windisch-Grätz were les amants of the two most renown sisters of Sagan - Wilhelmina, being the eldest, and Dorothea, being the youngest, - during the Congress of Vienna. Basically at the same time as those stunning women drove crazy Metternich and Talleyrand respectively. I can see that hilarious picture clearly: two diplomats practically dying of their love towards sisters of Sagan; two sisters of Sagan cheerfully celebrating the New 1815 year together with two young distinguished Austrian officers of Czech origin; meanwhile Schwarzenberg, the president of Hofkriegsrath already, just sits in his Kriegsgebäude, listens to the rumours about his ✨good boiz✨ and sighs resignedly…)
Well, that was fun! Passing on to count Radetzky…
…Comes a sudden revelation that I won’t speak out a lot about Joseph Wenzel Anton Franz Karl Graf Radetzky von Radetz (count Joseph Radetzky, in short) simply because it’s him! He probably is the most well-known herr out of the whole company - Metternich’s close friend, whom Klemens saved from the total oblivion after the war of 1809, the head-of-stuff at Schwarzenberg’s times, future president of Hofkriegsrath as well and the “father of the nation”, of course (does a question “what is the second-to-first «titular» nation in the Habsburg’s monarchy after the Austrians themselves” truly appear after that claim, I wonder)!
*also, like, Windish-Grätz and Radetzky were the 1848s main repressive force in the empire and the only people who truly mourned Metternich’s resignation and exile - what a turn of events, for Alfred especially!*
Now we come to the uncharted territory almost.
This wonderful person is… Karl Friedrich von Kübeck, Freiherr von Kübau. He sounds quite simple, ordinary even, you might say, however his origin story is a miracle. This man was a son of a tailor from Moravia (it’s like Bohemia is the western part of modern-days Czech Republic and Moravia is the eastern part of the country) who rose to the position of hofrat and obtained a barony as a reward for his excellent service. He joined Metternich’s opposition to the last character who will appear in our miraculous story in the late 1830-1840s as he understood everyone’s weaknesses very well and still saw in Metternich, an incredibly experienced official at the time, a lot of potential.
The man of his social background, he understood the needs of the country better than anyone else, yet he was unsuccessful in his efforts of reforming the monarchy slowly but surely without any need for an internal bloodshed. And that was a real tragedy, since even Metternich himself tried to adapt the bullky machinery of the Austrian empire to the certain notions of time still in the 1820s… Even Metternich, one the most famous conservators of the post-Napoleonic Europe.
I guess, that circumstance speaks all for itself. 😔
Thus, we arrive to the glorious conclusion of this extensive memology and it has the magnetic face of Franz Anton Graf von Kolowrat-Liebsteinsky (count Franz Kolowrat-Liebsteinsky). He deserves to crown our noble list of Bohemian aristocrats, since he became the actual governor of the region in the year 1809! He also was elevated to lead the Austrian State Council responsible for the Interior and Finances in 1826. 🇨🇿
The most important period in his life came with the death of the emperor Franz II and the accession to the throne of his poor son Ferdinand who had such bad health issues that he needed a Regency council to aid him in his reign. Who tried to claim all the responsibilities to himself only? Of course, it was our dear Klemens! Metternich actually waged very intense battles against Kolowrat since his appointment as the minister of the interior. And after the creation of the Regency council their rivalry could be described as “two delicate, aristocratic from the top of their silver-haired heads to the tip of their sleek fingers, old queens fighting constantly throughout the whole damned Vormärz”. 🙄
In the end, we can say with confidence, that count Kolowrat emerged victorious from the struggle: the Revolution of 1848 made an exile out of the damned Mephistopheles Metternich, meanwhile Kolowrat became the first Minister-President of the renewing Habsburg’s monarchy.
~~~~~~~
Well. That was an incredible journey half a century long, for sure. 👁👁
Very proud of marrying successively all the puns with the factual information I wanted to share about this incredible company of Austrian men who were connected to each other so gracefully and so closely. 🇦🇹
Hope you’ll like it as well, dear readers! It’s always my pleasure. 💗
Bis zum nächsten Mal~