Allie Name Dropping Everyone She's Ever Met In Her Consciousness (she Has Never Met Three Of These People) - Tumblr Posts
“ unpossession. ”
"Zero is a monster, Allie. He's a monster and I-- I liked that about him, I-- I let him hurt me, I got... I'm-- I'm not right, Taylor said, 'cause I-- I didn't want to get out..." Willow does her best to explain it to Allie gently, wanting her to understand. Talking it out also helps, the anger that she carries in her is a fire that can only be stoked so much - she wants it to die, now, like the rest of her.
"In a way I-- I feel like she was right, but I... I don't know what to do with it. I can't stop, I don't think... Zero's like... There's more to him than just-- what Taylor read, what everybody thinks, I... I got so close." Willow brushes her hair from her face, huffing, sighing. Her tears have run out. "Taylor read my journal and made it all seem so-- she made me seem crazy... She made me feel like everything I've ever felt is-- is wrong, like nobody could ever understand..."
she doesn't mean to stop talking, stop reassuring, stop comforting, but she does. she's just supposed to listen, allie knows that, not get caught up and not ask questions. just listen. except she's never been very good at not talking, not ever. " ... what? " it slips out before she can stop it, fitting tight into the space between her and willow, filling it with something stuffy and suffocating. " a- a monster? i- i ... i don't understand. " i let him hurt me. allie doesn't bade them to, but she feels her hands travel the surface of willow's skin, every bare, ghostly pale inch of it. it's cold, despite her efforts. i let him hurt me. i let him hurt me. she wants to know where the hurt is, so she can find it and take it and hold it, somewhere else but sitting plain and rotting and haunting on willow.
" i love you. " and then she doesn't care anymore about zero. or taylor, or ben, or arlo, or emma, or felix, or hawk, or hugo, or augusta. she can care about all of that later. even later today. not now. regurgitating up old pain doesn't do anything for allie, and they're supposed to be the same, the two of them. they are the same. of course they are. " i love you, willow. i understand. even if you don't, even if you don't believe that i do. i do, and i love you and i don't care what happened or what you've done or- or what taylor said. i love you, and i understand. " she is begging with her words, begging without saying please, because she doesn't know what to plead for. everything feels so silly to say, and she knows she's just supposed to say it, anyway, but she can't. she tries her best to hold willow gently, too afraid of breaking.