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hey, i'm also from turkey & a bit younger than you. are you out to anyone? what did people say? i know that people here are homophobic & transphobic. do you have any advice?
Naber! Okay so well...i am technically out but also not. I am out to several friends and also out to several teachers in my school, including the headmaster and the dean. Also out to few cousins. But everyone keeps it a secret for i wanted them to do so. Now with friends of course they were confused but mostly for not knowing what being nonbinary or dysphoria is. After explaining however, they accepted me for who i am and even help me out (they sometimes send me links to binder giveaways). The teachers came out to either already had experiences with trans students (because they are americans, canadians and english...) or have done research on trans people (turkish teachers with sociology/psychology degrees) so once again after some simple explanation, i was accepted and supported. Same goes for my cousins. Of course i had negative experiences too when i tried to come out to my very transphobic and homophobic mother. Things...didn't go so well. Here are some advices when you plan to come out:- Make sure they are not homophobic or transphobic. This might sound obvious but believe me. I have met so many homophobic people who are like "I am not homophobic! My hair dresser is gay!" or something like that. A way to see is to bring up LGBT+ related issues to conversation and test their reactions. If they react very negatively it is safe to assume that you should NOT come out to them. -Make people get used to it slowly. Before i came out, i tried to give small clues to people. I would talk about how hot some guys are, but also girls too. I have also cut my hair very short and started to wear pants and white shirt to formal occasions instead of a dress. This is a dead giveaway in Turkey that you're not cis and/or straight. Though since transmasc people are greatly ignored in Turkey, i'm pretty sure people either think i'm a hipster or a lesbian. -Do not rush it. It might take a while for people to get used to you being not straight or cis. Just take it slow and bring it up little by little. I did this mistake with my mom. I literally went and said "I will change my name." I...have always been very impulsive and rushing things made my relationship with her worse. -Just don't come out. I'm sorry but...that's how it is in Turkey. Even if you live in a modern place like Istanbul or Izmir or Bursa, you are still in a great risk. Don't force yourself to come out. You can stay in closet as much as you wish to do so if it means that you'll be safe and alive. I am planning to never come out to my grandparents for i am scared that they will remove me from their will for it. And if you are Turkish, you probably know for a fact that LGBT+ murder rate is pretty high. Especially if you are a gay man or a trans woman. ESPECIALLY if you are not upperclass. Stay safe anon. Remember, you are not alone in this.