And So Haechan - Tumblr Posts

pussy fiend (l.dh)

PAIRING ➢ haechan x fem!reader

GENRES & AUS ➢ smut, humor, fluff; college au, enemies to fuckbuddies to lovers, roommate au

WORD COUNT ➢ 68.9k total, in 2 parts (28.2k & 40.7k)

WARNINGS ➢ invasion of privacy, Haechan’s a sneaky little shit, cocky!Haechan, jokes about emotional manipulation, author pretends to know about stuff she doesn’t, mild dubcon

CONTENTS ➢ (mild) dubcon, bratty switches! boffum!, somnophilia, oral (receiving), allusions to a free-use kink but barely, rimming (receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, brief thigh job, praise, barely degradation but if you’re sensitive note that, some spit kink, panty sucking (?), Haechan’s a bit of a pain slut, fingering, biting

SUMMARY ➢ uhhh he likes you and is a fiend for pussy idk bestie

AUTHOR’S NOTE ➢ long time no see! please consider sending a donation/tip if you enjoy the fic! please do not get upset with me if you ignore the contents/warnings and get your feelings hurt; that is no one’s doing but yours. if you enjoy the fic, please consider tipping me here or here!! ALSO massive thank you to @ncteez for all her help with the initial idea and beta reading this monster for me :')

“Listen,” You start off with a firm tone as you look out at your audience. “We need to address the elephant in the room.” You say as you shoot your tormentor a disdainful look, your frown deepening when he just smirks and winks at you. “Ever since Lee Donghyuck, also known as Haechan, has moved into this apartment, my life has not known peace. I truly believe there is a karmic imbalance somewhere in the universe now that he lives here.”

“It is unlawful—dare I say immoral, even—to have him terrorize me the way that he does. If we are to continue to allow him to run amok and unchecked, I do believe this could be the beginning of the end. I fear that snakes may begin manifesting in our home.” You finish your speech with a fearful shudder for dramatic effect, and look at your other two roommates for their responses.

“…We can’t kick him out,” Yena has the audacity to whisper loudly to you from the couch as if the four of you aren’t all well within earshot. “If he goes, Jeno goes, and we need their rent money.”

Jeno nods in agreement. “I would have to go, yeah.”

“…Fair point,” You mutter, frowning. “I suppose you can stay until I find someone better.” You narrow your eyes at Haechan, who wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“You’ll be looking for a while, babe,” Haechan replies, grinning as he leans back against the couch cushion, folding his hands behind his head. “There’s nobody better than me.”

“I would rather live with an undomesticated porcupine that panics and shoots quills at me every time I startle it.” You reply, staring him dead in the eyes and ignoring Yena’s amused but dismissive scoff.

“You’re so hot when you’re mean to me.” Haechan coos, and you grimace, glaring at him. “Fuck, just like that.”

“This is not a whorehouse!” You exclaim in alarm, hopping off of the couch to get away from a grinning Haechan. “Have you no shame?”

“Why are you talking like that?” Yena snickers. “All hoity-toity and stuff.”

“I don’t know,” You grumble, jabbing an accusing finger in Haechan’s direction. “He brings out the worst in me.”

“O…kay…” Yena trails off, looking around at the three of you and waiting for someone to say something. No one does, and she slaps her knees lightly and stands up. “Okay! Well…this is the beginning of our house meeting, and I brought in something called a ‘feelings stick’ so we can address our emotions!” She explains, handing Jeno a thick, almost cylindrical piece of wood with neon paint splotches on it.

“Uh…how do you use a ‘feelings stick,’ anyway?” Jeno asks as he turns the decorated piece of wood over in his hand, brows furrowed as he sizes up the stick.

“I saw it on New Girl!” Yena says, her excitement creeping into her response, and you smile encouragingly at her. “We start our statements with ‘I feel,’ and that way we, uh… feel more personally connected to the conversation or something.”

“Is that how they did it on New Girl?” Haechan asks, and Yena pauses to think.

“…It didn’t really work on New Girl, actually.” She recalls, and a silence fills the living room as you, Jeno, and Haechan look at each other.

“Maybe because this is an apartment roommate meeting and not group therapy?” You suggest helpfully, and Yena frowns at you, causing you to raise your hands in surrender immediately. “What do I know, right? Hey, Jeno, pass me the stick.” You say, taking it from his outstretched hand and turning it around in your palm. “I feel,” You start, looking at Yena for approval, who beams and gives you a thumbs up, “grateful to Yena for coming up with ways for us to communicate more effectively.”

“I feel appreciated,” Yena replies, smiling widely.

“I feel…a bit frustrated when Jeno leaves the toilet seat up sometimes.” You continue, and Jeno nods.

“I feel, uh, sorry?” Jeno says slowly, and when you nod and smile at him, he grins proudly.

“I feel heard.” You nod resolutely, your smile fading when you lay eyes on Haechan, who’s watching you with an expectant smirk. “I feel like you should move out.” You say plainly, and Haechan laughs, your words clearly not hitting him where you wanted them to.

“I feel so close to you right now,” Haechan responds with a teasing grin, and you narrow your eyes.

“I feel bloodlust.”

“Hey!” Yena whispers at you, but you ignore her.

“I feel homicidal.” You continue, still ignoring Yena when she whispers your name as a warning, your gaze trained unwaveringly on Haechan. “I feel like you get on my very last nerve and I feel like Yena and I should have just gotten a smaller, cheaper apartment so I wouldn’t have to put up with your incessant flirting, and I feel like if you try to use the bathroom while I’m showering one more fucking time, I’m going to squirt soap in your eyes.”

“I feel like you should lock the door, then,” Haechan counters smoothly. Your eye twitches.

“I feel like you’ve forgotten that Yena lives here and might need to use the bathroom while I shower.” You retort, and Haechan shifts forward, elbows resting on his knees as he stares you down with a challenge glinting in his eye.

“I feel like you’re not being impartial.”

“I feel like you’re a nitwit.”

“I feel…kinda turned on now, actually.” Haechan chuckles, his tongue running along his lip.

“I feel like violence really might be the answer sometimes, especially if the question is ‘what do I want to commit whenever I see Haechan?’” You snap, and Yena lunges at you, snatching the feelings stick from your hands before you can use it as some sort of weapon.

“I feel like this started out well and went sour quickly,” Yena says hurriedly, “and I feel like this meeting should be concluded and maybe tried again later.”

“I feel like you’re right,” You agree, casting one last disapproving look at Haechan before sighing heavily and pulling out your phone, preparing to scroll idly. As you settle into your spot on the couch and cross your legs, Yena leans against the couch beside you, already on her phone. Jeno settles in across from you on the opposite couch, tentatively lifting his legs to place them on the coffee table, and Haechan sits back in his spot beside Jeno, half-scrolling on his phone, half-watching you.

“So can we go?” Jeno asks, looking at you, and you shrug, gesturing at Yena with your thumb.

“Ask Yena,” You mouth, and he nods in understanding.

“Yena?” Jeno asks, eyes darting to you for confirmation, which you give via a small nod, “I was wondering if we’re free to go.”

“Sure,” She sighs, slightly deflated, and your heart pangs, feeling apologetic for messing with the house meeting. You genuinely didn’t mean to; Haechan just has a very specific way of getting under your skin and, unfortunately for you, he’s fully aware of it and exploits it at every opportunity, claiming it’s hot when you’re mad at him.

Your little back and forth with Haechan wasn’t actually always like this; when you two met last spring in freshman year, Haechan was a perfectly fine person to be around; clearly fine enough for you to agree to living with him. Somewhere down the line, his overall teasing remarks and flirtatious advances started becoming less general and more targeted. Specifically, targeted at you.

It wasn’t long before you grew aggravated with his direct advances and deliberately persistent attempts to hit on you, only made more annoying when you realized he flirted with a bunch of other girls. Your lack of interest only seemed to increase Haechan’s determination tenfold, a dynamic which only got worse once the two of you started living under one roof at the beginning of this school year. You’re now in your fourth semester of college and almost entirely sick of Haechan’s antics.

“Hey, do you know a girl named Heoni?” Jeno asks you, and you perk your head up at the name, smiling brightly.

“I do! She’s a sweetheart; isn’t she the girl in Mark’s art class that he’s, like, pretty much obsessed with?” You ask, and Jeno nods in confirmation.

“Yep, that’s the one. Mark’s asking if she would know anyone here enough to want to hang out later.”

“She definitely knows me enough, and I would hope she likes me enough,” You answer with an uncertain shrug. “If Mark needs it, I’ll come hang out. Aw, they fit together; she’s super cute, Mark’s super cute–”

“Please stop hitting on my friends,” Haechan groans.

“No.” You reply immediately, and Jeno looks between the two of you with a baffled expression.

“I–I thought–weren’t we just setting Mark up with Heo–” Jeno looks at you with his head cocked to the side in confusion and you put a finger to your lips, the male catching on several beats later, his confused expression morphing into one of understanding as he nods and says nothing.

“Why not?” Haechan complains, and you set your phone on your lap and look up at him with a smile.

“Because it clearly bothers you.” You reply, and Haechan huffs.

“Please?” When you shake your head at him, he sucks his teeth and continues, “I’ll just sabotage your every attempt.”

“How are you gonna do that?” You chuckle skeptically.

“I’ll tell them all that you’re crazy…insane, even.”

“They literally know me, Haechan,” You laugh as you rise from the couch and head past him to your room, shooting Jeno an amused look as he sits on the opposite couch. “Plus, isn’t there a thing that says crazy girls are good in bed?” Your journey to your room is stopped short by Haechan quite literally throwing himself at your feet, on his knees as he whines and grovels, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t a fascinating sight.

“Please,” He begs, looking up at you pleadingly, “It’ll kill me if any of them get to be with you! Please don’t let me find out you’re going with any of my friends.” Haechan hangs his head sadly, and you fake a cough to hide your snicker, eyes darting to a very amused Jeno who’s got his phone out and aimed at you two, apparently recording for blackmail purposes.

You pat Haechan’s head in a sympathetic gesture. “Okay.”

“Okay?” He says hopefully, looking up at you, and you nod.

“Yeah. You won’t find out if I fuck any of your friends.” You say with a smile, and his quick shift into a panicked expression is instant, evoking yet another cough-laugh from you. “You might not want to ask Jaemin about me, then.” You warn him, and Haechan’s eyes widen in horror.

“What?” He exclaims loudly, and you step around him, patting his head again for good measure.

“Bye,” You coo, dragging out the word as you head to your room, relishing in the sound of Haechan’s alarmed, rapid speech pattern as he tries to make sense of what you’ve just told him.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“I’m just saying that Jar Jar Binks has no visible sex organs–”

“Would you rather they be visible?” Yena cuts you off, alarmed yet amused as she looks over her shoulder at you, blindly feeling for her toast after the toaster goes off on the counter she’s facing. Pinching one piece, she winces, dropping it back in the toaster as she shakes her hand. “Why are you trying to see the sex organs of Jar Jar Binks, anyway? Do you wanna fuck him or something?” She laughs, and you shoot her a look, one Yena knows all too well to be the look you give before you choose chaos on purpose.

“Maybe I’m trying to be Mrs. Jar Jar Binks,” You reply with a sly grin, and Yena bursts out laughing. Your curiosity piques when Yena appears to spot something over your shoulder that makes her laughter build, turning yourself around in your chair a moment too late to see a freshly awake and washed up Haechan already moving to lean against the island next to where you’re sitting. A quick scan of his frame grants you a view of his black t-shirt, his grey sweats, and his–

“It’s nine in the morning,” You stress, looking away from him quickly and covering your eyes.

“Well, good morning to you, too,” He chuckles. “I can’t control it,” He defends himself, “but I see you caught an eyeful.”

“It looked at me first!” You yelp defensively, and Haechan laughs as he shoots Yena a friendly nod in greeting and slides his gaze back over to you, a mischievous smirk curling his lips as he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Anyway, is that why you won’t give me a chance?” Haechan asks with a sly, teasing grin, turning so his back is against the island and his elbows are resting on the surface behind him, giving him the freedom to observe you freely without having to crane his head. Thankfully, something about the shift in his position gives you the ability to acknowledge him without bearing witness to his…friend. “Is your type Jar Jar Binks?”

“The reasons why I don’t want to fuck you have nothing to do with Jar Jar Binks and everything to do with your personal character flaws,” You reply dismissively, turning away from him dramatically and focusing on Yena, who hands you a freshly buttered slice of toast and the strawberry jam.

“…Character flaws…” Haechan says slowly, a smile growing on his face, and you turn to look at him, giving him a judgmental once over.

“Yes?” You reply, confused. “What, was that too big of a word for you?”

“Character flaws as in personality traits…” Haechan continues, his smile widening even more, and you shoot him an annoyed glare.

“You take as long as you need to process those two words, Haechan,” You say as condescendingly as possible, baffled by how dense he’s being. His actions become clear when he grins triumphantly, leaning closer to you and filling your nose with the scent of minty toothpaste and the fabric softener he uses.

“So it’s not my appearance,” Haechan finally gets to the point, and you freeze mid-chew, annoyed you slipped up and even more annoyed that he caught it. “So if my personality was different, I’d have a chance…”

“No,” You reply quickly–too quickly, actually, if Haechan’s eyes lighting up with determination are anything to go off of. “No!” You try again, more insistently, but you can tell it’s too late as he pushes off of the counter and wiggles his eyebrows at you.

“Too late! Gonna go study Jar Jar Binks videos and copy his mannerisms,” Haechan announces, heading back towards his room.

“You freak, I still won’t fuck you!”

“Can’t hear you!” Haechan replies in a sing-song lilt. “Meesa leaving…meesa plotting…meesa studying…”

“You’re doing it wrong!” You quip as he rounds the corner out of sight, and he pops his head back, puckering his lips at you in a smug little air-kiss.

“That’s what the studying’s for.” He shoots you a wink and disappears once more, leaving you to groan in annoyance.

“I can’t stand him, actually,” You groan, setting your toast back on the plate as you frown.

“I really don’t think I get why, though,” Yena replies, leaning her elbows onto the island on the other side of you, her head cocked to the side in confusion as she chews on a piece of cored apple. “I mean, you guys are actually pretty similar.”

You stare at her blankly. “…That is actually the most offensive thing you’ve ever said to me,” You deadpan, and Yena rolls her eyes as she laughs at you. “You should have just killed me when you had the chance–it would’ve hurt less.”

“See? You’re dramatic just like him!” Yena points out, and you glare at her until she backtracks, raising her hands in surrender. “I recant my statement.”

“Thank you,” You reply, disgruntled. You look around, craning your head to see down the hallway where Haechan’s and Jeno’s rooms are, and, seeing nothing, lean forward to speak in a lowered voice. “Listen–is he hot? Yes. Is he sex on legs? …Yes. Is it actually devastating how attractive he is? …Yes,” You say, your train of thought slowing to a stop at the growing smug smile on Yena’s face. “…Am I now realizing that I’m making the opposite of my point? Yes.” You mutter shamefully, hopping off of your chair to walk over to the fridge and pull out various fruits to wash, chop, and blend into a smoothie.

“I’m just saying,” Yena sing-songs.

“And you will say no more!” You whisper forcefully, and she rolls her eyes, biting into another piece of apple before she pantomimes locking her lips and throwing away the key. You reach to unplug the toaster and plug in the blender, struggling due to your lack of a visual on the outlets themselves. The plug scrapes and skids along the wall several times before you huff and give up, flinging the cord down in frustration and deciding to prepare the ingredients first and try again later. “Finding that socket is impossible,” You grumble. “This must be how guys feel during sex.”

“Can’t relate,” Haechan’s voice comes out of nowhere, and you shout in alarm, whipping around to see him beside you, fully dressed and opening the fridge to get a bottle of soda, grinning with satisfaction.

“Literally was not speaking to you.” You say, blinking impassively at him. “Wait, why are you dressed? It’s Saturday,” You ask, confused, and Haechan looks over at you while he twists open the cap on the bottle (you watch his hands working on the cap for an embarrassingly long time, but you’d rather stick a fork in an outlet than admit to that) and takes a sip.

“Going to the library,” He explains when he finishes swallowing, and, no, you did not watch his Adam’s apple move…oh, who are you kidding? “I’ll be back soon, babe; don’t worry.” He teases, and you echo him with a mocking expression as you tilt your head from side to side. “I’m such a fan of our little lovers’ quarrels,” Haechan muses as he slowly makes his way to the front door, walking backwards to keep his eyes on you. “So I can’t stay away from you for too long.”

“Do you ever cringe at the corny stuff you say?” Yena asks curiously, and Haechan looks over at her as he shakes his head.

“Nope,” He answers, popping his lips on the ‘p.’ “You gotta own the cringe.” He states as if citing a proverb, shooting Yena a wave and you a final wink before he turns and heads to the entryway of the door to put his shoes on and leave.

You wait to relax until you hear the front door shut fully and the locks click into place as Haechan locks the door behind him, slouching against the counter and huffing crankily. “I can’t stand him.”

“Sure,” Yena replies casually, “and you also weren’t ogling him like a Victorian man seeing a woman’s ankle while he was messing with that bottle.”

“…Have I wronged you or something?” You ask, confused, and Yena bursts out laughing. “No, I’m just wondering why you would say these things to me as if I have no shame. I have so much shame.”

“So much?”

“Too much, really.”

“I’ll pray for you.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

As you and Yena come home from the library, after shutting the apartment door, you’re met with a…funny little smell.

“It smells like Four Loko.” You whisper to Yena, whose nose crinkles as she registers what you just said.

“It kinda does.” She whispers back, and when your eyes narrow, hers widen. “Don’t make it a big thing,” She pleads and you wave your hand dismissively.

“I won’t,” You whisper, and Yena sighs in relief.

“Okay, good, because I thought you’d fly off the handle–”

“Why does it smell like Four Loko in here?!” You yell, storming into the living room.

“Knew it,” Yena sighs as she follows after you.

“It’s probably your fault!” You round on Haechan immediately, who raises his hands defensively as he sees your annoyed expression.

“You’re so hot when you’re mad,” Haechan sighs dreamily, and you glower at him.

“Still not getting your dick wet. Back to the issue–”

“I wasn’t trying to get my dick wet!”

“Whatever! Why does it smell like Four Loko?” You press, and Haechan shoots you a defensive look, his eyes wide as he shrugs.

“I don’t know!”

“Haechan, are you lying?” You narrow your eyes at him, and he just stares back at you intently from his spot on the couch.

“No.” He says calmly, and you get even closer, practically in his face as you stare at him, waiting for a sign of him about to crack.

“This is hot,” Haechan chuckles, his gaze dropping to your lips. “Are we about to kiss right now?”

“You wish,” You scoff, and Haechan nods.

“Sure do.”

“You aggravate me.”

“I know. It’s hot.”

“It’s hot,” You echo him with a mocking voice, and his brows furrow.

“I don’t sound like that.” He huffs, and you shrug.

“You do to me.”

“Well, I don’t know how, because I don’t talk like that–”

“Can we get back on topic, please?” Yena groans, and you look back at her with an apologetic expression, her fond smile showing you that you’re forgiven. One last glance at Haechan gives you the sight of him grinning at you, raising his eyebrows before puckering his lips in an air-kiss so quick that you almost miss it. Rolling your eyes, you stand up and walk back over to Yena, putting your hand on your hip.

“I don’t believe that Haechan isn’t to blame for this.” You huff, and Yena snickers in amusement when the male in question splutters indignantly, throwing his hands up in the air.

“I was out virtually all day! I got home like an hour before you guys came just now!” He replies, seemingly eager to clear his name.

“Well, maybe you came in and shotgunned a Four Loko or something!” You retort, and Haechan’s whole face scrunches up in disbelief and confusion.

“Do you actually think that makes any sense–” Haechan’s reply stops short when the bathroom door opens and Jeno comes out in a t-shirt and sweats and rubbing a towel in his wet hair, walking through the hallway but stopping in his tracks when he sees you’re all home.

“Hey, guys!” He greets you with a sunny smile, and you mirror his expression, his infectious happiness already getting to you.

“Hi, Jeno!” You and Yena greet him in unison, and Haechan and Jeno share a grin and friendly nod. “You wouldn’t happen to know why the apartment smells like Four Loko, would you?” You ask, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to explore every avenue of possibility.

“Oh, yeah! That was me,” Jeno replies, half-sheepish, and you falter.

“…Huh?”

“Yeah, I washed out a bunch of bottles I had lying around in my room so I could make more protein shakes, and a bunch of them were filled with Four Loko, so I just poured them down the sink. Sorry about it,” He explains, looking a bit downcast, and your eyes widen.

“It’s okay! It’s okay, Jeno, don’t even worry about it.” You rush to assure him, and he looks slightly less put out, a smile slowly returning to his face.

“Okay…cool.” He perks back up and jerks a thumb over his shoulder in the direction of his room. “Gonna head to my room and relax.” Once you, Yena, and Haechan have sent him off, Jeno waves and heads back towards the original destination of his room. Once you all hear his door shut, Haechan leaps to his feet and points an accusing finger at you.

“How does he get off scot-free, but you practically jumped down my throat?” He exclaims, and you stare at him blankly as you go to get the air freshener from the bottom cabinet under the sink and start spraying liberally.

“Simple; Jeno can do virtually no wrong,” You explain as you turn to spray the curtains, “and I find you aggravating.”

“But–” Haechan starts, but you spray air freshener in his direction to ward him off. “You can’t–” You spray at him again. “I just–” And again. “Can you–” And again– “Okay!” Haechan huffs, narrowing his eyes at you. “I get it.”

“Great.” You chirp. “Then go away.”

“I’ll be back,” He warns you, walking backwards towards his room as he keeps his eyes locked on you.

“Please don’t.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The cacophony of the main campus cafeteria is both disturbing and comforting, the din strangely familiar, commonplace even, as groups of friends huddle around the small tables with the occasional wobbly leg. Today is no different, as Haechan sits with several of his friends at a lunch table, raptly listening as they recount their experience at the grocery store.

“It was actually humiliating.” Mark recalls, a grave expression occupying the usually bright and cheery male’s face. “She was so sweet about it, but I could tell she was trying not to laugh.”

“Heoni is a sweetheart,” Jeno agrees with a nod. “She even helped you pick up some of the cans you knocked over!”

“I’m still lost on how Mark messed up so badly within five minutes of talking to Heoni that he knocked over an entire display section of canned peas.” Renjun says slowly, Haechan noticing his friend’s lips quivering as he, too, tries not to laugh.

“It all happened so fast,” Mark groans, leaning forward to put his face in his hands. A piece of his hair gets in his pasta sauce, but no one mentions it, the male already having gone through enough today. “She was there in the produce aisle and she looked so pretty and we were talking about art class together and walking around kind of aimlessly–kind of like a date, really–”

“Mark?” Haechan butts in, and Mark sits up, looking at him cluelessly.

“Yes?”

“The point. Get back to it.”

“Oh, right! Anyway, she laughed at something I said–God, she has the cutest laugh–and I guess I spaced out because the next thing I know, I’m on the floor, my butt hurts, and I’m surrounded by canned peas.” He finishes forlornly, and Yangyang’s mouth twitches as he prepares to speak.

“Mark bumped into an employee cart, jumped like a foot in the air, and landed at an angle, I guess, because he stumbled to the side and knocked over the whole display of canned peas.” Yangyang fills in for Mark, and, if the quiver of his voice is anything to go by, it was every bit as comical as Haechan is imagining, and he takes a moment to mourn not being there to witness it first-hand.

“Heoni took that can to the foot like a champ, honestly–” Jeno recalls with a wince, and Mark whips his head around to face Jeno (a little bit of the pasta sauce in his hair flies and hits Yangyang just below his eye, but Mark fails to notice) with a horrified expression.

“One of the cans hit her in the foot?” Mark’s voice is higher than Haechan has ever heard it, and it’s making the situation even more amusing, even Renjun having to disguise his laugh as a cough into his fist. Haechan and Renjun make eye contact and regret it immediately, looking away quickly and trying harder to hide their amusement as Renjun picks up a napkin, leans forward, and graciously cleans the remaining pasta sauce out of Mark’s hair. “Thanks, Renjun.” Mark sighs sadly, and Renjun nods in acknowledgment as he leans back in his seat.

“That sounded like a disaster,” Haechan exhales slowly, fixing his face into a sympathetic expression to comfort his friend. “That doesn’t really explain why Yangyang is limping, though.”

“Oh! It was just your roommate’s posts to her story on Instagram,” Yangyang replies offhandedly, not noticing the blatant confusion on Haechan’s face.

“Yena? She didn’t post anything today.”

“Not Yena,” Yangyang says, and Haechan’s eyes widen, barely registering Yangyang’s next words as he whips out his phone and opens Instagram. “She posted, like, an outfit of the day picture and some selfies, I think.”

“I can’t find them,” Haechan groans as he searches through the stories of everyone he follows to no avail.

“Oh, yeah! I was there when she got that skirt,” Jeno announces proudly as he starts to reminisce. “She and Yena lured me to the mall with them one time so I could be their bag boy, and I helped approve that skirt. It was a long time to walk around after them, but I got free food out of it.”

“Why can’t I find them?” Haechan asks confusedly, and Renjun leans over to look at his phone.

“Well, then you’re kinda to thank for this,” Yangyang says as he leans over to high-five Jeno. “You saw, man, I literally dropped to my knees in the middle of the grocery store.”

“Well, yeah, but I thought that was partially dramatics.” Jeno replies, confused.

“It kinda was–I had to commit to the bit, you know? The sentiment was real, though.” Yangyang explains, and Jeno nods in understanding before he reaches an arm around to rub Mark’s back comfortingly, the oldest male still visibly upset over his harrowing experience with his crush at the grocery store.

“Renjun, what’s her name on Instagram?” Haechan asks, and Renjun pulls out his phone to check, seeming to find it easily. “How come you found it so quickly, but I can’t find it at all–” Haechan stops mid-question as the answer becomes clear, and sighs, rolling his eyes. “She blocked me, didn’t she?”

“She definitely did.” Renjun confirms, and now it’s Haechan’s turn to receive a comforting backrub from Jeno.

“Fuck it,” Haechan mutters determinedly, picking his phone back up and opening his text conversations. “I’m texting her.”

haechan [12:43] unblock me on instagram

you [12:45] no

haechan [12:46] oh come ON what could you be posting on there

haechan [12:47] is it nudes… let me know i’ll make a burner acc

you [12:50] haechan you WISH i posted nudes publicly

haechan [12:51] i sure do.

haechan [12:51] would’ve made it a lot easier to jerk off last night

you [12:54] …if you ever wonder again why you’re blocked, just read this exchange over

haechan [12:55] COME ON UNBLOCK ME

you [12:55] no :/

haechan [12:57] fine. can you at least send one of your oh so elusive nudes

you [12:57] …

haechan [12:58] so i have something to remember you by

you [13:04] first of all: ew

you [13:05] second of all: we Iive together (unfortunately) so you see me all the time

you [13:07] third and last of all: i dont keep my nudes saved on my phone :/

you [13:08] try asking jaemin!

haechan [13:12] WHAT

haechan [13:13] JAEMIN?????????

haechan [13:13] NA JAEMIN?????

you [13:15] ??? yes?? is there another jaemin or smth??

haechan [13:17] WHAT

haechan [13:17] WHY THE HELL WOULD HE HAVE YOUR NUDES

you [13:18] LMAO byeee :)

haechan [13:20] YOU CAN’T LEAVE NOW WTF

haechan [13:22] ANSWER ME!!!

haechan [13:25] oh my god

haechan [13:27] ARE YOU SERIOUS 😭😭😭

“I’m gonna kill him,” Haechan mutters bitterly, and Renjun shoots him a bewildered look.

“Who are you killing?” Renjun asks, his question indirectly answered when you, Yena, and Jaemin round the corner, heading for their table. Everyone exchanges friendly greetings except for Haechan, who stares Jaemin down, the latter seemingly unaware of his new enemy. Yena doesn’t even stop to chat, dropping her bag by the spot Renjun’s made for her and making a beeline to get food.

“How was class?” Yangyang asks as he scoots over to make room for you; when you settle your bag in between Yangyang and Jeno to stake your claim on the spot, Haechan can’t help but shoot daggers at Yangyang, his earlier comment still ringing in Haechan’s head about falling to his knees because of you.

“Long,” You and Jaemin answer in unison, looking at each other and laughing, oblivious to the way Haechan’s eyes narrow at the male who’s placed his bag on the other side of Jeno. “Yeah… Professor Andrews would not let us get off-topic—no matter how hard we tried.” You groan, rolling your eyes.

“One of the main reasons education majors have it rough is because of Professor Andrews,” Jaemin gripes, and you agree with an emphatic nod.

“Okay, I’m hungry,” You complain, taking two steps towards getting your food before you pause, looking back at the table. “Oh, Mark! I saw Heoni earlier,” You say with a smile before a sympathetic frown appears on your face. “She was limping a little bit, so maybe you can do something nice for her, like carry her books to her next class!”

Mark’s eyes widen at your helpful suggestion, nodding distractedly and waiting for you and Jaemin to walk away before dropping his head to the table again and groaning.

“What if I broke something in her foot?” Mark worries, and Haechan notes that, yet again, Mark’s leaning forward has gotten pasta sauce in his hair.

“The can couldn’t have fallen on her that hard!” Renjun supplies helpfully, and Mark looks up at him with a forlorn expression. “It’s probably just sore right now; she’ll most likely feel better by tomorrow!”

“Yeah?” Mark mumbles, hope persisting even through his saddened tone.

“Yeah,” Jeno affirms comfortingly, and Haechan offers a sympathetic smile and a little pat on Mark’s hand.

Jaemin returns back to the table first, only having grabbed a bowl of noodles, and sits in his spot next to Jeno, ready to dig in. He, however, is forced to halt, forkful of steaming noodles halfway to his mouth, when Haechan scoffs.

“Is something wrong, Haechan?” Jaemin asks cautiously, clearly confused but not willing to make any wrong moves.

“Is something wrong, Haechan?” Haechan mocks Jaemin’s voice, ignoring Yangyang’s snort of amusement to continue on, “I can’t believe you’d even ask me—yes, something’s wrong!”

Jaemin looks from Haechan to his forkful of noodles, back to Haechan, and back at his noodles before sighing deeply and putting the forkful back in the bowl, looking up at Haechan.

“What is the problem?” Jaemin asks flatly, and Haechan huffs in disbelief.

“The problem? The problem is that you have my roommate’s nudes—you know…the girl you know I’ve been chasing after for, like, three semesters; does Guy Code mean anything to you?!” Haechan asserts indignantly, and Jaemin’s face scrunches up in confusion, looking around the table for assistance which, unfortunately, he doesn’t receive, given that literally everyone at the table is giving Haechan the same baffled look. Even Mark with the pasta sauce in his hair stares at Haechan with a deeply lost expression, oblivious to the way the pasta-coated strand of his hair starts to droop down towards his forehead.

“Haechan…what the fuck are you talking about?” Jaemin questions with a deadpan expression.

“What am I talking about, Jaemin?” Haechan sneers, and if he was glaring daggers at Yangyang earlier, he’s glaring grenades with the pins pulled at Jaemin, who sits in place, frozen with confusion.

Right on time, you and Yena both return to the table, both of you holding two hearty plates of food. “The lines were so long—what crawled up your ass and died?” You ask Haechan in confusion, and Jaemin turns to you with widened eyes.

“Why does Haechan think I have your nudes?” Jaemin practically pleads with you to get him out of this mess, and you look confused for a second before remembering your conversation with Haechan earlier and snickering.

“Haechan…you actually fell for that? Really?” You laugh, and now it’s Haechan’s turn to look baffled, his mouth opening and closing as he attempts to reply, but coming up short every time.

“You’re so mean,” Haechan finally manages to complain, and you shrug dismissively.

“Only to you.”

“So…I’m special?” Haechan asks, a little smirk already appearing, and you sputter out a laugh.

“Did not take you long to come back from that one, king.” You laugh, tacking on the nickname sarcastically, and Haechan grins.

“I’ll always come back for you,” He coos sweetly, and several gags of disgust sound out around the table.

“That barely makes sense.” You point out with a disdainful expression.

“It makes perfect sense.” Haechan replies, and you roll your eyes.

“Okay.” You agree.

“So it makes sense?” Haechan asks, and you stare at him with a blank expression.

“I will say whatever it takes at this point to get you to let me eat my pizza.” You say monotonously, gesturing to the slice you’re holding in your hand, and he nods in understanding and raises his hands in surrender, a pleased smile appearing on your face as you take a bite of your pizza. Conversation is made amongst the eight of you until Renjun turns to Yena with an abrupt change in conversation.

“You never got to tell us how class went!” He points out, and Yena looks up from her food to nod, swallowing before she speaks.

“I mean, it was okay; it was only entertaining because someone kept texting me play-by-plays of her sexting some guy.” Yena says with a sly smile as she stares pointedly at you, and you giggle mischievously, barely paying Haechan any mind when he cries out in pain like he’s been shot.

“You were sexting?!” Haechan squawks indignantly, and his question falls on deaf ears as you don’t acknowledge him.

“How did you get away with blatantly texting in class?” Jeno asks in confusion and you smile secretively.

“Sat in the back.” You explain.

“Communications major.” Yena explains for herself, and you snort in amusement. “We didn’t do much today as it is.”

“Who were you sexting?!” Haechan persists in a frantic hushed whisper, and you turn your attention to him finally with a somewhat exasperated expression.

“You don’t know him.”

“Try me!”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No, but here, I’ll throw you a bone; he was terrible.”

“Really?” Jeno’s instantly intrigued, and you struggle to hide your surprised smile at how eager Jeno is to engage in gossip or “girl talk.” “How bad?”

“Disastrous, Jeno.” You lament, and his eyes widen comically.

“I think it’s only fair that we, as your friends, get a similar play-by-play,” Renjun suggests, and you shrug and nod in agreement.

“I mean, there’s not much besides screenshots, and I’d feel bad for the poor guy if I showed you guys that, so I’ll describe as much as I can. He was the ‘I’m gonna rub your leg and kiss you on the neck. does that feel good’ type of guy, which, like…no, it doesn’t feel good, king. Firstly, this isn’t 4D texting…I can’t feel any of that. Secondly, I’m literally learning about assistive technology in classrooms right now… I’m not, like, finger-fucking myself in the back of Education 204.” You finish off your rant with a dramatic wave of your arm, and Jaemin snorts so hard in amusement that he has to scoot back, pinching his nose and exhaling in a wince.

“Noodle broth just went up my nose.” He gags, and you wince sympathetically.

“Sorry, Jaemin,” You mumble, trying to hide your amusement, and he sniffles twice, wiping his nose and mouth with a napkin.

“Another bad part was when he asked if you came,” Yena snickers, and you both start laughing, only for Mark to look between the two of you in a red-faced confusion.

“Are…are we not supposed to ask that?” Mark asks, worried, and you look at him with a slight shake of the head.

“You have pasta sauce in your hair.” You mutter, leaning over Jeno to get the red sauce out of Mark’s hair, and he frowns.

“Thanks. Why can’t we ask that?” He isn’t ready to drop it, you realize, Mark looking between you and Yena yet again.

“If you know she’s actually getting herself off, it’s different,” Yena explains, and you nod. “Otherwise, like if you just text her out of nowhere and you don’t know what she’s up to, you probably shouldn’t ask…”

“Y’know what’s crazy, though? He asked what I was up to, and I told him I was in class.” You recall slowly, marveling at his cluelessness.

“So he’s just dumb.” Yangyang says bluntly, and you open your mouth to protest, find no defense, and close it, drumming your hands on the table awkwardly.

“In his defense, I was kinda flirting,” You explain, jolting at Haechan’s dramatic wail of despair, rolling your eyes and continuing on, “and I know that a lot of guys aren’t good at responding to girls when they flirt.”

“Where’d you hear that?” Haechan exclaims defensively, and, instead of answering, you decide to make an example of him.

“Mm, I don’t remember, Haechan,” You lilt sweetly, and his eyes widen in surprise. “Maybe it’s kinda right, though?” You ask, cocking your head to the side in mock innocence, and you can watch his mind go blank, his eyes glazing over as he nods at you robotically, almost in a trance.

“Yeah, I mean—it might be right for, uh, some people.”

“Unbelievable,” Mark chuckles quietly, and Yangyang snorts.

“Very believable.” He counters, and you smile widely at Haechan as you lean forward, the male mirroring you instantly.

“Haechan?” You hum, and his eyes drop down to your lips. “Listen very carefully to what I’m about to say.”

“Okay,” He agrees, already hanging on to your every word.

“You are…the most…” You drop the sweet tone and return to your originally unimpressed affect, “easily manipulated person I’ve ever met.” Haechan blinks in surprise, looking at you with a slightly lost expression, and you can’t help but feel a little bad for how easily he caved.

“I–huh?” He mumbles, confused, and you look at him, genuinely in disbelief.

“At this point, I think your advisor encouraged you to keep studying Psych so she could study you,” You mutter, baffled, and Renjun snorts out a laugh into his fist.

“I have class,” Mark blurts out as he casually looks at his phone, now panicked, and practically falls over himself in his efforts to clamber out of the booth half of you are all squished into, tossing out apologies as he steps on and over people. “Sorry, guys!”

“Bye, Mark!” Several of you call out, and he turns to face you, waving with a smile.

“Shit, if Mark has class–” Renjun realizes aloud, and Haechan groans as the realization sinks in for him as well. “We gotta go,” He nudges Haechan, who frowns but ultimately gets ready with Renjun to leave.

“Are you coming?” Haechan asks Yangyang and Jeno, who shake their head.

“I have class in 30 minutes,” Yangyang explains.

“My class starts in two hours,” Jeno answers with a smile, and Haechan cocks his head to the side in confusion, opening his mouth to speak, but shakes his head dismissively, closing it.

Before leaving, Haechan looks at Jaemin, waits until they’re making eye contact, and points from his eyes, to Jaemin, to you, who hasn’t seen a thing.

“Stay away from her,” Haechan mouths at Jaemin with narrowed eyes before dragging a finger across his neck, much to Jaemin’s alarm. Renjun yanks Haechan away, but Haechan stares Jaemin down until the very last moment before they turn the corner.

“I’m begging you…please stop using me as a way to piss off Haechan,” Jaemin asks you with a half-worried, half-amused expression. “He’s insane and he will attempt to harm me.”

“That sounds personal,” You hum, and he splutters incredulously only to stop when you laugh and pat his hand comfortingly. “I’ll ease off of it, don’t worry.”

“Thank God, because I don’t need to be part of Haechan’s you-related hit list,” Jaemin replies casually, and you pause, your cup halfway to your mouth.

“…His what?”

“It’s a long story.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Renjun, you get to bear witness to my newest plan,” Haechan states proudly, and Renjun just sighs.

“Oh, boy.”

“Aw, come on, can you at least act a little bit like you have faith in me?” Haechan nudges Renjun with his elbow, and Renjun sighs. Again.

“What’s the plan?” Renjun asks drily, and Haechan glowers at him before he launches into his plan.

“You know how we just did that reading on Pavlov and his dogs, right?”

“This is already going south.”

“Wha—why?!”

“You are not Pavlov. You are Lee Haechan, a sophomore in college who has done a fraction of the reading on Pavlov and a fraction of that fraction of the research necessary to conduct any worthwhile studies.” Renjun answers flatly, and Haechan just stares at him, shocked and wounded.

“Okay, that hurt–”

“I’m sure your ego will survive the attack.”

“–and I did do the Pavlov reading!” Haechan exclaims, indignant, but when Renjun fixes him in place with a flat and disbelieving expression, he starts to squirm. “I did it!” Renjun says nothing. “Okay, maybe I read most of it and left about five pages at the end.” Renjun blinks slowly. “…Okay, maybe…I read about three-fourths of the reading.” Renjun blinks twice. “Half?” Renjun raises an eyebrow. “A quarter?” His other eyebrow joins the first. “Okay, maybe I read the first couple of pages and got bored and fell asleep and woke up with a drool stain on the book that made one of the dogs’ face look all funny and it made me laugh.” Haechan finally confesses, and Renjun relaxes, patting his friend on the back.

“Good interrogation. You wouldn’t last a day in the CIA.”

“Can we get back to my point, please?”

“Go for it.” Renjun sighs, leaning back and folding his arms behind his head.

“I’m gonna listen out for every time she gets herself off,” Haechan’s voice is now a stage-whisper, pointing, for Renjun’s sake, in the direction of your room, “and every time she’s about to cum–”

“Do I really need to hear this?” Renjun squirms uncomfortably, and Haechan shushes him.

“Yes! Now listen. Every time she’s about to cum, I’m going to either ask her something through her door, text her, or even AirDrop her a picture of myself. That way she’ll get conditioned,” Haechan nudges Renjun with a secretive little grin, as if conditioning was the only term one needed to remember from Pavlov and his studies, “to associate me with her being turned on and then, when everything is said and done, the sight of me will have her practically flooding the place!”

“…It’s ironic that you’re a Psychology major.” Renjun muses after Haechan finishes speaking.

“Why?” Haechan asks, visibly confused.

“You’re easily the most insane person I know.” Renjun comments sadly, patting his friend’s knee sympathetically.

“Hey!” Haechan exclaims, offended, and Renjun shrugs.

“I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.” He says casually, and Haechan rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m testing out my theory today–”

“I am not going to eavesdrop on your roommate getting herself off–”

“–on a more minor scale,” Haechan finishes, staring at Renjun incredulously. “Why would I want you to hear what the girl I like sounds like when she cums?”

“If the past twenty minutes were indicative of anything,” Renjun shoots back, “I cannot trust you to think clearly or rationally.”

“Your words wound me, Renjunnie.” Haechan lets out a quiet, dramatic sob, and Renjun sighs again—“Renjun, do you want to go home or something?”

“I’m so glad you asked, because yes, I really do–”

“Shh, shh, shh! I’m gonna text her every time she laughs at something so she’ll associate me with happiness and laughter.”

“Um–”

“Um, nothing, it’s genius!” Haechan asserts in a hushed voice. Listening out carefully from his spot on the living room couch, he waits until he hears the telltale sign of your laughter from your bedroom and types out a quick text, hitting Send and placing his phone in his lap.

“…Did you send the text?” Renjun asks, and a ding! sound rings out from the direction of your bedroom, your laughter, which had started to taper off, immediately cutting short.

“I sent the text,” Haechan says with a grin, and Renjun nods slowly, pursing his lips.

“What’d it say?”

“I just said hi with a smiley face,” Haechan replies, and Renjun stills, staring at him blankly.

“That’s it?” Renjun says, clearly in disbelief, and Haechan looks at his friend, eyebrows raised and furrowed in confusion.

“Yes, that’s it? Short and simple?” Haechan explains, lightly rapping a knuckle against Renjun’s forehead and making hollow thunk noises with every contact. “Anybody home?”

“Stop worrying about who’s at home in my head and start worrying about who’s at home in your home, because from a realistic standpoint, she would have answered your oh-so-lengthy and thoughtful text by now.” Renjun snickers, and Haechan jolts as if he’s been shocked, reaching for his phone and unlocking it.

“She read it but no reply.” Haechan informs Renjun, who shrugs.

“Okay, well! Back to the drawing board–”

“I’m gonna AirDrop her memes.” Haechan decides, and Renjun stops mid-sentence.

“…You’re gonna AirDrop her memes?”

“I’m gonna AirDrop her memes,” Haechan confirms.

“I might have to tell Mark to pray for you.” Renjun says, pressing the back of his hand to Haechan’s forehead. “You’re clearly sick.”

“Would you hush! I just sent her the perfect meme.” Haechan states, staring at the status of the AirDrop process with a hopeful gaze that falls as soon as the word “Declined” appears on his screen. “No way,” Haechan chuckles, sending you the meme again. Less time passes this time, the “Declined” showing up almost immediately, and Haechan’s face falls. “Renjun, I don’t get it! It’s the perfect meme!” He complains as he leans over to show Renjun, who looks at the meme, then at Haechan, then back at the meme, then back at Haechan…then at the meme again for good measure.

“Haechan?”

“Hm?”

“This meme isn’t funny.”

“What do you mean, ‘this meme isn’t funny?’”

“Well, you know this meme?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s not funny. Hope this helps.”

“…It doesn’t,” Haechan grouches, pulling up another meme to send. “Okay, I just sent another one–”

“Haechan.” You call out loudly from your room, and the male in question freezes.

“She doesn’t sound happy,” Haechan says lowly, a tinge of worry in his voice.

“Gee, I wonder why. Surely it can’t have anything to do with your harassment–I mean, your experiment.” Renjun deadpans, and Haechan narrows his eyes at his friend who is not being very supportive right now.

“One day, you’ll have to answer for your treachery,” Haechan hisses at Renjun, who raises an uninterested eyebrow, before snatching up his textbook from the coffee table and pretending to read it.

“Haechan.” You’re standing in the living room with your hand on your hip, your phone in the other hand, and Haechan looks up at you as casually as can be, attempting to be the face of innocence. “First of all, you know that your book is upside-down, right?” You point out, already bored, and Haechan drops his gaze down to his textbook.

Ah. So it is.

“Secondly,” You continue as Haechan turns his book right-side-up, “I am going to say this once, and for your sake, you’d better not make me say it a second time.” You walk right up to Haechan and Renjun, barely sparing your mutual friend a glance to avoid making him feel as if he’s caught in the crossfire. “Please stop trying to AirDrop me.”

“It’s a funny meme! What, you don’t like memes?” Haechan exclaims defensively, and you blink twice at him.

“Haechan?”

“Hm?”

“That meme isn’t funny.”

“Ha! That’s what I said,” Renjun chortles to himself, and you do spare him a glance at that, a small smile quirking the corner of your mouth upwards.

“No, but seriously. Stop sending me AirDrop request after AirDrop request,” You warn him, and Haechan splutters indignantly as if he hasn’t just been sending you AirDrop request after AirDrop request.

“What is the point of sending me unfunny memes randomly, anyway?” You ask, confused, and Haechan sets his textbook down, closing the book just a second too late to avoid your keen eyes. “Did…did that say Pavlov?”

“Uh…no.” Haechan lies.

“Renjun, did that say Pavlov?”

“Sure did.”

“Thanks.”

“Traitor!” Haechan whispers, scandalized, in Renjun’s direction, and Renjun just shrugs.

“Haechan, you know that’s not how Pavlov’s experiments worked, right?” You say slowly, trying to hide your amusement.

“No, he does not know.” Renjun betrays Haechan once again as he doesn’t even look up, tapping on his phone. “He didn’t do the reading.”

“Is that why you texted me when I was laughing earlier?” You can barely conceal your amusement any longer, your bottom lip quivering as you try desperately not to laugh. “Haechan, by Pavlovian studies, wouldn’t that have just ruined the positive effect the laughing had and, if repeated, would’ve made me associate you with my happiness being cut short or ruined?”

“…Um.” Haechan’s got nothing. Maybe he really should have done the reading.

“You know what the best part of this all is?” Renjun remarks, finally amused. “She’s absolutely right. That was in the reading.”

“We did a brief unit on Pavlov in one of my Education classes,” You explain to Renjun. “We didn’t go that in depth, but we got the gist of it.”

“I think people forget that Education is actually kind of just… a different avenue of Psychology.” Renjun muses, and you nod emphatically, your eyes wide.

“I say that to my friends all the time!”

“Can you two stop flirting, for Christ’s sake?” Haechan snaps, sighing heavily.

“Hey, Haechan?” You say sweetly, and he looks up at you with a bewildered expression, never having heard you speak to him in that tone of voice. “It’s so fascinating that you’re a Psych major.”

“Really?”

“Yeah; because you’re in-fucking-sane.” You quip, and Renjun looks up from his phone immediately.

“I said that earlier!”

“Stop kissing her ass.”

“He’s closer than you’ve ever gotten,” You point out, and Haechan’s jaw drops in shock and offense.

“I can’t believe this.”

“You know, they have places for people like you, Haechan.” You say with a feigned concerned tone.

“Yeah, it’s called an asylum.” Renjun supplies helpfully (or traitorously, depending on who you ask), and Haechan gasps as you burst into laughter.

“Renjun, I like you. Haechan, are all your friends cooler than you? Can you move in and replace Haechan?” You ask Renjun, and he smiles goodnaturedly before patting Haechan’s shoulder, the recipient of the touch staring at Renjun’s hand with disdain before shrugging out of the gesture dramatically.

“I’m flattered, but my dorm setup is pretty cool.” Renjun explains, and you nod in understanding.

“Shame. Haechan, do you need any help with that?” You ask, gesturing to his textbook, and Haechan just stares between you and Renjun, unsure who’s going to attack first. “Hello? I can help you with your readings! I can read it out loud and show you the pretty pictures and you can help me turn the pages.” You smile sweetly at Haechan, and Renjun bursts out laughing.

“She’s good,” He snickers, holding his side as he laughs, and Haechan just glares at both of you.

“I’m going to my room.” He huffs before standing up, snatching his textbook off the table, and striding off to his bedroom with his nose in the air, literally, but not before shooting you both scornful glances.

“…Now what?” Renjun asks when you two are alone in the living room.

“Peace and quiet, Renjun,” You say with a relieved smile. “Peace and quiet.”

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Yena!” You wail, throwing open your apartment door and shutting it behind you by lying against it and letting your weight push it closed. “Yena!” You cry again, toeing off your shoes after locking the door and shuffling sadly into the living room, where you see Jeno sitting on the couch, his legs propped up on the coffee table as he looks at his laptop. “Oh. Hi, Jeno. Is Yena here?”

“Hey! I’m not sure, actually. I got in about an hour ago and I haven’t seen her yet,” He answers, and you sigh loudly, collapsing on the couch next to him.

“Hi, sunshine,” A familiar voice sounds from behind you, and you groan, throwing your head back in anguish as Haechan walks around the couch, sitting on the other side of you.

“Dear God, not you,” You whine, and Jeno takes a moment to really look at you, the normally clueless male actually noticing something off in your tone.

“Hey, are you okay?” Jeno asks gently, nudging your knee, and your face twists up as you debate whether or not to tell Jeno—and Haechan, by proxy—what exactly you’re upset about. “If you wanna talk, I’m not busy,” He assures you, shutting his laptop and leaning forward to place it on the coffee table and wiggling his now free hands to demonstrate.

“…Fine,” You finally decide, shifting and angling your body towards Jeno, deliberately turning your back on Haechan, the sight of the male already pissing you off given the circumstances. “Jeno, you and I are about to become a lot closer as roommates and friends.”

“Oh, cool! Why’s that?” He asks curiously, and you pinch the bridge of your nose as you gather your thoughts to relay your tale of woe.

“You’re about to get exclusive girl talk gossip,” You explain, and his eyes widen in excitement and surprise, his whole body language shifting as he angles in towards you, now paying rapt attention. “You will not believe the fucking disaster of a hookup I just had.”

“Uh oh,” Jeno says, eagerly leaning forward to listen. Unbeknownst to you, given your deliberate obstruction of him from your line of sight, Haechan also leans closer to you to listen, eyes trained on the back of your head as if his visual of you could grant him real-life subtitles or something. “What happened? Who was it?”

“This dude from my Stats class,” You explain, waving a hand dismissively. “I don’t think you know him, so his name’s not important. It–oh, God, Jeno–first of all, he kept touching me like the dude was fuckin’ scared or something! Like I was a goddamn bomb he had to defuse or something, and super weak, soft touches does not a sexy hookup make.”

“Agreed,” Jeno nods in emphatic agreement. “You can’t be too scared; if you’re that scared, you should just not be hooking up.”

“Thank God you get it, because I’m about to scream. Jeno, it gets worse.” You say in a grave tone, and Jeno winces in anticipation, causing your fondness for the male to increase at his unexpectedly stellar gossip listening and contribution skills. “Jeno, I don’t think this dude had ever touched a clitoris before, let alone seen one.”

“No way,” Jeno gasps, and you can literally feel your anger subsiding somewhat as the male in front of you with a puppy-like excitement evokes an amused smile from you. “What’d he do?”

“At first he had trouble when he got his hand, like, down there, y’know?” You start to explain, and Jeno nods in understanding. “So I just let that go because the guy was clearly nervous in the first place, right? So I was trying to give him a chance to loosen up. So he starts, uh, rubbing, and…Jeno.”

“Yeah?”

“He wasn’t even close to anything of consequence. I couldn’t begin to wrap my head around what he thought he was doing.” You state, and Jeno snickers, evoking a chuckle of your own. “Then I get fed up pretty quickly of him rubbing my inner thigh in circles like he’s really doing something, so I shift my body under him so he’s closer to the right area–”

“Oh, that’s smart,” Jeno mumbles, impressed.

“Right? So I move myself and he moves his hand right back to where it was.” You say, thumping the couch once for emphasis that clearly lands properly as Jeno flinches at the sudden sound and movement. “So I got fed up again and grabbed his wrist and brought his hand, like, directly there, and even gave a little encouraging moan for when he was there—y’know, a little oh, yeah, right there, but…said all sexy-like, right? Jeno, guess what this idiot did.”

“He moved his hand away–”

“He moved his hand away! So I tried again, and he did it again! Like, how clueless can you be?! That’s like asking me where the bathroom is and I say, ‘Oh, it’s just down the hall to the right,’ and bring you to the door, and you…just turn and walk into the nearest wall and keep trying like a fucking Sims glitch or something!” You exclaim incredulously, and Jeno bursts into laughter, his eyes scrunching up in delight as he slaps his knee.

“I’m imagining it, and–I’m sorry, it’s not funny for you and he’s an idiot, but it’s such a funny mental image.” Jeno manages to get out, and you can’t even keep up your upset pout, your lips twitching with amusement from watching the infectiously happy male in front of you. “Okay, wait–okay. I’m good. I’m good now. Wh–what’d you do?” He finally manages to ask.

“I booed him.” You shrug, Jeno’s eyes widening as his jaw drops. “I literally booed him like it was Amateur Night at the Apollo Theater, and then I just left. If I’m not gonna cum—which I definitely wasn’t, if he had any say in the matter—then neither is he.” You huff indignantly, and Jeno nods in agreement, making you realize that he definitely helped you feel a lot better and more validated in your actions. You definitely didn’t expect the clueless, perpetually zoned-out Lee Jeno of all people to be an excellent contender for girl talk, but you won’t make the mistake of counting him out again. You’re about to thank Jeno for listening so well and making you feel better when Haechan speaks from behind you and you flinch hard, practically having forgotten he was still there.

“He definitely sounds like an amateur,” Haechan agrees, and you narrow your eyes suspiciously as you nod in agreement, waiting for the punchline to hit.

“…Yeah.” You say slowly, still watching Haechan skeptically.

“And an idiot.” He continues, and you grow even more suspicious.

“…Yeah?” You’re frozen watching Haechan, half-expecting and half-dreading the moment when he opens his mouth and makes everything worse—

“I definitely couldn’t relate to him,” He assures you with a small, confident nod and budding smirk.

“And there it is.” You sigh, both annoyed all over again and vindicated that you were right all along. “Haechan, now is not the time to gloat about your sexual prowess or whatever.” You warn him, holding up a hand to silence him and attempting to seek solace in Jeno, turning back to the other male, who is, to your surprise, shaking his head at Haechan as if also warning him against messing with you at the moment.

Impressed, you mentally give Jeno a point on a scoreboard of brownie points that you definitely just made up and will likely have no actual bearing on real life any time soon.

To your surprise, Haechan takes your hand in his, rubbing circles in the top of your hand that you reluctantly find soothing, and looks you in the eyes earnestly.

“Does the pretty girl not like being teased?” He asks, frowning in mock sympathy, and you scowl, yanking your hand free from his grip and standing up from the couch to head to your room. “Aw, come on!”

“Haechan,” You warn, whirling back around to face the aggravating Haechan and now worried Jeno, “I am annoyed, I am sexually frustrated, and generally not in the mood for your nonsense. Right now? Hell hath no fury like me. I’m going to my room.” You fire back at him, and he raises his hands as if in surrender.

“I was just saying–”

“I don’t really care what you were just saying.” You snap, and he licks his lips as his expression grows a bit more intrigued and his eyelids flutter slightly into the low-lidded sultry gaze Haechan has been known to give you, and you remember that he likes it when you’re like this. “You know what, Haechan? At this point, if you ever manage to get me in your bed and do as well as you’re always saying you can and will do, I will eat my words. I will have the fattest slice of humble pie. Okay? Until then, I am begging you to shut up.” You lecture, and Haechan just stares at you, mesmerized.

“…So I do have a chance.”

“Oh, my God, I’m going to my fucking room.” You growl, throwing your hands up in defeated frustration. “Thank you for your help, Jeno; it really means a lot to me.”

“No problem!” Jeno calls after you right before you round the corner into the hallway and make a beeline for your room, throwing yourself on the bed and screeching into your pillow, the fluffy down feather-filled cushion muffling most of your screams.

You lie there on your bed for the rest of the night, absolutely and painfully unaware of the plan Haechan is cooking up now that he believes he does have a chance with you.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Haechan.”

“Yes?”

“Are you sure this is even legal?” Renjun asks worriedly, stress shown plainly in every feature on Haechan’s friend’s face.

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” Haechan chuckles dismissively, looking around at his other friends for support and scoffing in surprise and disbelief when no one speaks up to defend him. “Some friends you all are!”

“I feel like as your friends we should be doing exactly what we’re doing right now and telling you this is a terrible idea–” Renjun persists.

“Okay, maybe if you walk us through the plan again, you–it…the whole thing won’t sound so…unhinged.” Yangyang says slowly, and Haechan hesitates, unsure of how exactly to take the seemingly supportive but somewhat backhanded comment.

“…Okay,” Haechan finally decides to ignore it and let it slide, feeling like he should keep his one vocal supporter—or, at least, not an active naysayer—on his side. “So, she has five different sex toys, all of which are stored in various locations in her room, which I’ve got written down on my phone.”

“This feels like a massive invasion of her privacy.” Mark groans, his expression anxious. “Yo, how did you even get this information?”

“I don’t even think I want to know,” Renjun sighs, his voice oddly muffled, causing Haechan to look over at him and roll his eyes at his friend, who’s buried his face in his crossed arms on the table.

“…Anyway…I’m going to sneak in and gradually hide all of her sex toys in my room, taking one every couple of days so she won’t catch on immediately.” Haechan explains, and Jaemin’s incredibly disapproving expression has Haechan rushing to defend himself. “I’m not gonna do anything creepy with them—”

“Is the ‘not creepy’ part happening before or after you literally steal her sex toys–”

“Renjun, let me finish! I’m literally just gonna hold onto them and wait for her sexual frustration to build to the point where she literally won’t be able to resist me anymore,” Haechan finishes proudly, and Yangyang, the very reason why the plan was even repeated, stares down at his folded hands blankly for what Haechan would consider an uncomfortably long time. “…So, Yangyang? What do you think?”

“I think,” Yangyang starts, “that…is a very bad idea. Zero out of ten, absolutely would not recommend it to a friend and, because you’re my friend, Haechan, I’m going to recommend, instead, that you do literally anything else at this point.”

“Look, I know it sounds bad, but I swear it’s not,” Haechan attempts to explain himself, but Jaemin finally pipes up.

“Maybe it sounds bad because it is bad, Haechan.” He says slowly. “The sheer fact that you gathered everyone—me, Yangyang, Renjun, and Mark—but neglected to include Jeno, your other roommate, speaks volumes.”

“Jeno has a big mouth.” Haechan mumbles petulantly, and Jaemin fixes him in place with a stern stare that gives Haechan infinitely more faith in Jaemin’s future in education.

“In this situation, I’m pretty sure that’s called a fucking conscience.” Renjun quips, lifting his head from his arms to glare at Haechan. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“I’m not, and I need you guys to have my back on this–”

“We do not.”

“–because I need someone to stand guard when I go in her room.” Haechan finishes, and Renjun bursts out into a fit of incredulous laughter.

“Absolutely not.” He says firmly when he’s finished laughing, and Haechan deflates, looking at Jaemin, who raises an eyebrow as if to say, what do you think? He turns his gaze to Yangyang who pantomimes wiping his hands clean and raising them in a manner that states, I want nothing to do with this. Haechan meets Mark’s eye and, at Mark’s uncomfortable silence, smiles hopefully.

“Mark? What about it?”

“I think…” Mark says carefully, “I would rather violate every last one of the Ten Commandments and directly flip off the sky.”

“You’re all horrible,” Haechan grunts in frustration, packing up his bag quickly and standing up, giving them all a disdainful glance before leaving the library.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Later that day, after reworking his plan slightly, Haechan goes into your room and enacts Phase 1 of his new and improved, slightly less alarming plan: replacing the batteries of the sex toys with completely drained ones.

Thankfully for Haechan, only two toys take batteries and, conveniently enough, they’re the same batteries Jeno and Haechan frequently blow through for their gaming controllers, the discarded batteries collecting in a jar by the kitchen trash can until someone in the house has any idea of how best to dispose of them safely. Haechan performs the switcheroo and quickly exits the bedroom, making sure to scour the house for any replacement batteries you could use.

Over the course of two and a half weeks, Haechan has sabotaged two of your toys with dead batteries, hidden the charger that charges two of your other toys, and simply taken your last toy when it became clear to him that the toy doesn’t take any type of battery that you all have lying around the house and that the charger cord for that toy is frustratingly commonplace.

Haechan has also, to his delight, noticed a significant shift in your mood, your demeanor gradually becoming easily frustrated and more irritable, and he figures it’s only a matter of time before he has you beating down his door for some…sexual healing.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

The tranquility of your time alone in the apartment is promptly ruined when Haechan unlocks the front door and comes in to see you on the couch, comfortably reading a book.

“My favorite roommate,” Haechan greets fondly, and you barely spare him a glance as you wave half-heartedly. “Wanna do me a favor?” You look back up at him, slightly amused at the prospect of wanting to do anything for him.

“Whatever you’re going to ask, the answer is no.” You say nonchalantly, turning the page in your book.

“Help me dye my hair pink,” He continues on as if you haven’t spoken, coming to sit on the couch with you. You look up at him, blink slowly, and return your gaze to your book.

“Are you in the witness protection program or something?” You ask with a small chuckle, and he smiles, letting out an amused exhale.

“No.”

“Lose a bet?”

“No, I–”

“Are you having an impulsive episode? Are you prone to these often? As a Psych major you should know that these could be part of larger manic episodes, and–”

“No!” Haechan insists, cutting you off, and you place your bookmark in your book and close it, looking at him curiously. “I literally just thought I’d look cool with pink hair.” He mumbles, and you sigh.

“Let me see a picture.” You say, and he fishes his phone out from his jacket pocket, swiping a couple of times before he shows you a picture of a guy around his skin tone with a pretty shade of pink in his hair. “Oh. Yeah, that could look good.” You remark, somewhat surprised, and Haechan sits forward excitedly, already smiling at you.

“So you’ll help me?” He asks hopefully, and you raise an eyebrow in his direction.

“What’s in it for me?” You reply, and he grins, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“Quality time with yours truly.”

“…How about something I actually want.”

“Fine,” Haechan frowns slightly, looking around the room thoughtfully. “I’ll do your chores for a week, not including dishes.”

“Mm…nope.”

“Aw, man! …Including dishes?” He offers, and you shrug, inspecting your nails.

“More.”

“You can have, uh…$30 worth of my meal points.” He tacks on in a last-ditch attempt, and your eyes widen as you turn to face him with a smile.

“Deal.”

“Really?” He asks happily, and you nod. “Holy shit.” He mumbles, surprised, and you snort, amused.

“I thought you wanted this outcome.” You point out, and he nods.

“I did—I do! I just…figured it’s better to expect disappointment.” He replies, and you shrug again as you nod in agreement.

“Fair.”

“So, when can you do it?” He asks, and you swing your legs off of the couch, planting them on the rug.

“When can you get everything you need?” You ask, and he sits back slightly to show you a black plastic bag with the name of your local beauty supply.

“I have it! I ordered the dye on Amazon and got the bleach from the beauty supply so someone could help me pick the right stuff.” He answers with a proud smile, and you can’t help but nod, impressed.

“Wow, you’re really being smart about this.” You praise him, and he practically preens under your praise, sitting up a bit straighter and everything. “Okay, go set up the stuff in the bathroom and let Jeno know we’re gonna tie up whichever bathroom you choose until we’re done.” Haechan nods eagerly and rushes off to do what you’ve asked, doing a little jump to click his heels together that has you biting back a laugh. “Haechan, change your shirt to something you don’t care about!”

“You got it!” He calls back, and you get up to do the same, placing your book on the coffee table.

Once Haechan has everything set up, you meet him in the bathroom, having changed into a random t-shirt you found in your drawer that’s already worse for wear with a couple of holes riddled in the fabric.

“Okay, how do you wanna do this?” You ask, and he shrugs.

“I mean, you can sit on the counter and I can sit in front of you?” He suggests, pointing at the chair you and Yena use to store your extra bathing supplies that don’t fit in the shower itself.

“Sounds good to me,” You agree, and he sets about moving your and Yena’s stuff off of the chair, setting it gingerly on the floor and carrying the chair over to the sink where you’re already sitting, stirring the bleach solution. “Sit,” You urge, gesturing at the chair in front of you, and he complies, settling down between your legs and pulling his phone out, scrolling through it absentmindedly as you start to part his hair and apply the bleach carefully and efficiently. “So, I never thought to ask; why’d you ask me to do this?”

“Well, I remembered when Yena dyed her hair towards the end of last semester and she said you helped her do it, so I figured I could try and ask you for help this time.” He answers, and you pause for a second, surprised he remembered.

“Oh.” You muse softly, and he hums in acknowledgment, leaning his head to the side so his cheek is on your inner thigh. You narrow your eyes suspiciously, but say nothing, continuing to apply the bleach, now going back to do his roots. It’s not until a couple of minutes later when Haechan nuzzles his cheek against your bare thigh and sighs dreamily that you decide to comment. “You sound like you’re in heaven.”

“Mm, if this were really heaven, I’d be facing the opposite direction right now, and we’d have a lot less clothing on.” He replies with a flirtatious lilt, and you scoff, bopping him on the head with the comb you’ve been using to part his hair.

“Pervert.” You scold, and he just chuckles, leading you to narrow your eyes and bop him again, the male startling this time and spluttering indignantly.

“What was that one for?” He asks with a laugh, and you huff.

“I didn’t even have to see you to know that you did that sleazy eyebrow thing that pisses me off.” You retort, and he chuckles mischievously.

“You know me so well.” His reply sounds smug, and you roll your eyes.

“Unfortunately. Now shut up and let me focus on this.” You mumble, tilting his head back slightly to check the front of his scalp. You can hear Haechan breathe in deeply as you lean over him slightly, his head turning inwards slightly when you release him, and his lips graze lightly against your bare inner thigh, the faintest of puckers giving you the suspicion it wasn’t just a little accident and making you freeze after you finish setting the timer for the bleach to sit.

“Did you just kiss my thigh?” You ask incredulously, and Haechan lets out what must be the guiltiest scoff you’ve ever heard.

“No?”

“You definitely did.” You insist, and he huffs, turning his head in towards your thigh even more.

“If I’d kissed your thigh, it would’ve felt like this,” Haechan counters, and leans in, pressing his parted lips to your inner thigh in a sudden, unmistakable kiss that has you gasping in surprise. His tongue peeks out to swipe along the skin before he sucks gently at the spot, releasing the flesh with a wet smacking noise (just in time, too, because you were about to let out a moan that would have made things awkward) and finishes, “and you would have known.” At your silence, he turns to look at you to see you still somewhat frozen in shock, his wet kiss mark practically burning a hole in your skin, and he smirks, standing up and pushing the chair out of the way to stand between your legs. “What?” He says softly, teasingly. “No witty remark? Nothing clever to say?”

“I don’t know–shut up–I didn’t like that.” You blurt out, caught off-guard, and he raises a brow in amusement.

“I don’t think I asked if you liked that,” Haechan points out, voice still soft as his fingertips ghost along your thighs. “So are you telling me you didn’t like it…or are you trying to convince yourself that you didn’t?” His face is dangerously close to yours at this point, his soft exhales fanning your lips with his warm breath, minty from the gum he’s chewing.

“I–you–shut up,” You mumble, moving to push him back with a knee pressed to his stomach. He catches your leg, one hand placed over your knee and the other cupping under your thigh right by your knee, and looks down at it then up at you with a small smirk.

“You know, I’ve always known you were stunning, but…” Haechan murmurs, moving his hand off of your knee and using the grip of his other hand to move your leg to the side, stepping back in between your legs. “I don’t think I ever noticed your eyes were this pretty.” He marvels softly, looking you directly in the eyes with a gaze both admiring and intense that unnerves you.

“…Is this how you flirt with everyone?” You reply, voice equally as soft but thankfully steady, your resolve having returned to you somewhat, and Haechan chuckles, looking down at his hand holding your leg before looking up at you, raising an eyebrow.

“Only the really pretty—stunning, actually—girls who, uh, live with me,” He replies, his hand slipping higher up on the underside of your thigh, “and who help me dye my hair,” Haechan leans in towards you, smiling when you don’t immediately lean back, “and who make very pretty sounds when I kiss them right here,” from his grip of your leg, the tip of his middle finger presses into the spot where his lips just were, heat flaring up there once more as you remember just how good his mouth felt on your skin.

“Oh,” You whisper, lost for words, and he chuckles softly.

“Oh,” He mimics you, leaning in even closer, and you’re a goner, you just know it, because he’s so close and maybe you do kind of want to know what kissing him would be like, and—

“Oh, my God.” Jeno’s cry rings through the house, and you both jolt in surprise, startled by your usually calm roommate’s sudden increase in volume. “Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”

You peek at Haechan who, you find, is already looking at you, his eyes trained on your mouth with a determination you don’t believe you can handle, so you push him back with your knee slowly, waiting for his gaze to drag back up to your eyes to speak.

“We, um,” You clear your throat and hold your phone up in his face, the timer now showing twenty minutes to go. “Have twenty minutes left.”

“I can think of what we can do to pass the time,” Haechan starts, a cocky little smirk appearing on his face, but you hold a hand up to silence him.

“Jeno is still screaming,” You point out, and Haechan cocks his head to the side, eyes widening as he realizes that Jeno is in fact still groaning and wailing in anguish. “So I’m gonna check on him. I’ll be back soon and if I’m not back, wash your hair out thoroughly and pat it dry with this t-shirt when that timer goes off.” You press the t-shirt in your hand to his chest and look at him seriously, trying to ignore the way Haechan watches you with his brows raised, smirking with his tongue pressed in his cheek.

Haechan nods in understanding and you mirror him, turning on your heel and heading to check on Jeno.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“I’m back!” You say as you open the bathroom door to see Haechan sitting on the floor by the chair and scrolling through his phone. There are about five minutes left on the timer when you check and you sit in the chair, leaning over to check Haechan’s hair, which has lightened very nicely.

“Did you find out why he was screaming?” Haechan asks curiously, and you chuckle as you remember the conversation you had with Jeno.

“Someone spoiled some show he’s always watching, and now he’s super upset.” You answer. “It’s not funny, because he seems genuinely bummed, but it was just funny to me that, of all things, that set him off, y’know?”

“He is pretty chill,” Haechan seems to understand, amused, before his brows furrow in thought. “I’ll check on him when we’re done here; make sure he’s not about to Jeno Smash or anything.” He jokes, receiving an amused snicker from you.

“That would be nice of you,” You agree, removing your hands from his hair and tapping his shoulder. “Go wash it out.” Haechan obeys, standing up and heading over to the shower, and you scroll through your phone while you wait, trying not to stare at the way his back muscles move under his shirt, and how when he finishes, his head and shoulders are dripping wet, only further accentuating his back muscles. He turns and locks eyes with you, and you realize instantly that you don’t think you ever needed to see what Haechan looks like dripping wet for your mental health.

“…the t-shirt?” Haechan says, and you realize with a jolt that he must have been talking that whole time.

“Sorry, what? Spaced out.” You mumble, standing up and passing him the t-shirt just in case, and he smirks, stepping closer to you as he starts to pat his hair dry.

“I could tell; too busy checking me out to answer me, hm?” He teases, and you swallow thickly, attempting to come up with some sort of cover.

“Sorry,” You mutter, unable to come up with anything, and he raises a brow in intrigue as he finishes patting his hair dry, moving even closer to you.

“So you were checking me out?” He confirms, his eyes lighting up at your silence. “You can stop apologizing and make it up to me another way, y’know.” He offers, and you inch backwards ever so slightly, Haechan slowly but surely backing you up against the sink.

“I, um–” You stammer, truly and utterly lost for words as Haechan closes in, his damp, now blond hair steadily dripping water onto your bare legs. Each drop, lukewarm water now gone cold, is a reality check, the droplets traveling higher up your legs the closer he gets to you.

“You can make it up to me,” Haechan murmurs, placing his hands on the sink on either side of you and leaning in until your mouths are but a breath apart, “like this,” He breathes, and moves to connect your lips. You have about a millisecond to process that Lee Haechan is about to kiss you, and that you have less than a millisecond to figure out whether or not you want him to. His lips just slightly brush against yours before you can lean away slightly in favor of grabbing the t-shirt Haechan was using to dry his hair. You can feel Haechan watching you, his expression too amused and smug for your liking, but you refuse to look at him just yet, barely watching what you’re doing as you tousle Haechan’s hair, drying it some more as his hands busy themselves with gliding up and down your thighs.

”Stop touching me or you’re on your own for the rest of this hair adventure.” You huff, and he snickers.

“Fine,” He agrees easily—too easily—and moves his hands back to the counter top. Just when you’re about to look at him again, he leans in close to your ear, his smirk practically audible as he murmurs, “I know you liked that, though.”

“You’re annoying me,” You warn him, pushing him back slightly.

“I think it’s pronounced arousing,” He corrects you, and you blink at him impassively.

“No, I think it’s actually pronounced annoying,” You grouch, leaning over to reach for your blow dryer, looking back at him to shoot him a glare. “I can’t plug this in with you practically on top of me.”

“Then let’s stay like this for a moment,” Haechan suggests with a grin. “My hair can air dry.”

“No, it can’t,” You mimic his tone, pushing him back enough so you can plug your blow dryer in. “I have a book to get back to.”

“Fine,” He complies, tilting his head down so you can start blow-drying his hair. When you turn it off for a minute to check his hair, Haechan moves to say something, prompting you to turn it back on and blow air in his face. When you turn it back off, he tries again, only for you to turn it back on with a slowly growing smile. The cycle continues until you’re laughing too hard to work the buttons properly, Haechan’s frustrated expression slipping into an amused one as he watches your amusement. “I like seeing you smile. You have a cute laugh.”

You just side-step the laugh compliment, not agreeing with him, and pat his cheek twice. “You’d see it more if you weren’t so irritating.”

“All I do is flirt with you!” He replies defensively, and you look at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Exactly. You’re a terrible flirt, you know.” You tell him, and he shrugs casually.

“Couldn’t be that terrible if I almost got you to kiss me earlier.” He points out with a cocky grin.

“That was a momentary lapse of sanity,” You defend yourself, Haechan snorting in amusement.

“Call it what you want, but I almost got a kiss,” He teases. You roll your eyes and pinch his ear, grinning when he yelps in pain, and guide him to sit on the chair, standing in front of him to start applying the pink dye to his now dry hair. You work in silence, Haechan scrolling through his phone until he nudges your hip with his phone to get your attention. When you look down at him, he shows you a video on his phone, letting you take it from his hand to watch as he says, “I thought you’d like this.”

It’s a TikTok of Brittany Broski, and your lips quirk upwards in amusement immediately, a laugh bubbling forth before the video ends, and you hand him back the phone with a smile on your lips.

“You thought right,” You say with a smile, and he grins up at you. “Brittany Broski is actually holding my mental stability together with old, weakening washi tape and Elmer’s glue.” You muse, and Haechan spits out a sudden, unexpected laugh.

“That doesn’t sound promising,” He snickers, and you shrug with a chuckle.

“It’s not, really,” You say honestly, and he makes a noise that should be sympathetic, but is too shaky from his laughter to sound as genuine as it should. “But she is doing her best, and that’s what matters.”

“Maybe I should study you,” Haechan jokes. “I could be your therapist for my Psychology final.”

“You’re aware that you’re, like, insane, right?” You laugh. “It’d be like the blind leading the blind.” You finish applying the dye and tilt his head this way and that to make sure you didn’t miss any spots with the dye, and pull off your gloves, throwing them in the garbage. “Okay, I’m all done with the dye,” You let him know, and he nods, humming in acknowledgment. You reach over him slightly to grab your phone, standing back up, and as you set another timer, you feel a slight tugging on your shirt. You peek down to see that Haechan’s finger is hooked in a hole on your shirt and he’s absentmindedly tugging as he scrolls through his phone with his other hand.

“Can I help you?” You ask, mildly amused, and he looks up at you, pulling his finger from the hole in your shirt, and grins widely.

“I don’t know,” He muses, slipping his phone in his back pocket. “Was just thinking.”

“I thought we told you to stop doing that.”

“Funny,” He replies sarcastically before he sits back in the chair and looks up at you. He really is painting an attractive picture, his legs spread as he watches you with a smile and an inviting look in his eyes. “God, I can’t take this anymore,” He complains, and all you get as a warning for what’s to come is the feeling of his hands sliding up the backs of your thighs, Haechan gripping your ass and pulling you in and down so you’re seated clumsily, one of his legs having wormed its way between yours and your chest pressing against his.

Your yelp of surprise rings out with his groan of satisfaction as both of you get the full sensation of your position, his firm thigh pressing against the seat of your shorts and your breasts pressed against his chest.

“Haechan, I’m gonna kill you.” You gasp, and he shushes you, hands moving up to grip your hips, fingers digging in with a desperation that takes you by surprise.

“You see how this…just feels right?” He murmurs, his voice strained, looking up at you, and it’s a testament to his looks that he can still almost pull you with his hair all slicked up and messy and not in the attractive way.

You don’t know about right, but it sure does feel good.

“Now if you just…kissed me,” He purrs, winding his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. You groan in protest, pushing his shoulders feebly, and he looks up at you, clearly unimpressed. “You know you could push harder than that. You like this, don’t you?”

“Let me go,” You huff, and he releases you immediately, raising an eyebrow when you don’t move yet. He winds his arms back around you and you splutter out a protest. “Haechan!”

“You literally didn’t move.” He points out flatly, bouncing his leg once experimentally and smirking when your hands fly to grip his shoulders, the beginning of a moan leaving you before you stifle it with an abrupt clearing of your throat.

“Haechan, I’m gonna leave.” You warn him, and he leans in, pulling you closer so you two are practically already kissing.

“Then go,” He breathes, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips as he waits before he shoots you a crooked grin and leans in to close the gap, your lips barely touching before your phone goes off with a notification and startles you out of your trance. “You’re such a tease,” He groans when you push yourself off of his lap, smoothing the invisible wrinkles out of your clothes before picking up your phone and checking it, trying to calm your pounding heart.

It’s just a notification from a food delivery app, but all this Haechan-induced stress has built up quite the appetite for you, so you decide you will take advantage of the little promo code they’ve offered you. Maybe a little…alone time, a nap, and a meal when you wake up. You’ve been pent up lately and haven’t had much time to yourself, not getting to get yourself off for over a week and a half.

“I’m not a tease, you’re just incapable of keeping it in your pants.” You shoot back, and he scoffs, standing up from the chair and moving over to you.

“I don’t think you even want it in my pants.” He counters, and you snort, amused.

“I ‘want it’ away from me.” You mumble, pushing him back with one hand. “Look, I’ll be back in a bit, probably around when the timer goes off. If I’m not, rinse it out.”

“Where are you going?” He asks curiously as you head for the bathroom door.

“Away from you,” You answer honestly, and Haechan makes a sound of hurt that you roll your eyes at before shutting the door behind you and making a beeline for your room to screech into your pillow. You lie on your bed for an uncomfortably short time before you hear your phone timer go off from the bathroom where you left it with Haechan, sighing and swinging your legs off the bed to head back to him. You take a breath to center yourself before entering the bathroom, and he’s just finished rinsing the dye out and is turning to face you.

“How does it look?” He asks, and you marvel at how…

“Good,” You answer, surprised at how even the color is and how nicely it flatters his skin tone. “Haechan, it looks really fucking good.” You say honestly, and he grins as he grabs the t-shirt to dry his hair. Something about the way his forearm muscles are tensing is too overwhelming and you find your gaze slipping to your phone which you pick up, immediately looking through your notifications.

“You look really fucking good,” Haechan replies, and you roll your eyes without looking up. A shadow crosses over your phone and a water droplet hits your screen, making you glower up at the grinning male in front of you.

“Haechan?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up.” You scoff, and he groans.

“I was getting to you.” He laments. “I shouldn’t have let you leave the room earlier.”

“Let me–Haechan, you don’t ‘let’ me do anything,” You laugh incredulously. “As a matter of fact, I’m gonna let you finish your hair on your own. The hard part’s done; just blow dry it.”

“Aw, come on, I didn’t mean it like that,” He whines, and you shrug.

“Don’t care. Good luck with your hair.” You wave your fingers in a wave as you leave amidst his complaints.

Looks like your afternoon with yourself just got bumped up, you think to yourself as you head to your room and get to pulling out your vibrator.

“Huh…weird.” You mumble in confusion when it’s not where you usually put it. You go and look for your other toys only to see that all of them are completely drained and the chargers or replacement batteries are nowhere to be found. You work yourself up into a bit of a frenzy trying to find something you can use to get yourself off and stop abruptly when you realize that you have one very good lead as to what happened to them.

“I’m gonna kill him,” You spit, whirling around on your heel and storming out of your room to find the alleged culprit.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

“Lee fucking Donghyuck.” You stomp into his room, the door banging loudly against the wall from the force of your well-placed kick.

“Ooh, not the government name,” Haechan chuckles, and his nonchalance only enrages you further, the male in question lying relaxed on his bed. “And you kicked in my door? Someone’s not happy,” He sing-songs, and you could scream, you’re so infuriated.

“Shut the fuck up, you insufferable fucking twat, and give me my fucking sex toys back.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Haechan meets your furious gaze with an unbothered obstinance that, honestly, makes you understand why people kill people.

“I will kill you and they will never find your body.” Your voice is low and level, but you’re practically vibrating with energy stemming from your fury towards Haechan, your frustration about the fact that you so desperately want to throttle him even though he’d probably like it, and, if you’re being honest, arousal. You’re beyond sexually frustrated at this point, you have no form of release, and you’re not going to use your fingers like a fucking cavewoman; it’s 2022, for fuck’s sake.

It is also not helping matters at fucking all that Haechan’s position on his bed is disgustingly attractive and sickeningly inviting; his legs spread and his feet flat on the bed, he gives you a full view of everything going on between his legs, his light grey shorts leaving enough to the imagination to have your eyes greedily roaming his tan, bare thighs.

“Someone looks a little pent-up,” Haechan muses, straightening out his legs so they’re still spread somewhat, and you dig your nails into the palm of your hands, wrapping your thumb on the outside of your fist just in case you need to start swinging—which, if you two continue down this path, you will. He cocks his head to the side and it kills you how attractive he looks right now, his vibrant pink hair tousled off his forehead and you want to pull his hair so hard he moans—cries.

You meant cries.

“Maybe you should relax, practice some self-love.” The quirk of a smile at the corners of his mouth combined with the way he subtly flicks his eyebrow upward have you burning white-hot with rage as you storm over to his bed and slam his laptop shut.

“I can’t practice any fucking self-love, dipshit,” You sneer. “You’ve made sure of that.”

“Again—no clue what you’re on about.” Haechan must be a little bit smarter than you thought, because despite his sticking to his story, you do see a momentary flash of panic in his eyes.

“I will turn this room upside down and inside out until I find them. I will take a hammer to whatever fucking gaming console that is in the living room—“

“Okay!” He caves instantly, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Okay, what?”

“Okay, I have your toys.” He announces with a smug little smile that just makes you want to sock him directly in the jaw.

“You’re a fucking ass for taking them in the first place–not to mention a creep.” You scoff, placing one hand on your hip. “Now give them back.”

“No, I don’t think I will.” Haechan replies casually.

You blink twice. “What?”

“I don’t wanna give you your toys back.” He says simply, shrugging in such a lackadaisical manner that your indignation and fury are put on hold in favor of bewilderment.

“…Why not?” You reply, your tone far too flat for it to have any sort of inquisitive inflection, but it hangs in the air between you two, an unspoken demand for an answer.

“Did you know I’m bigger than the biggest toy you have?” Haechan inquires, his responding question a roundabout way of answering yours.

“I didn’t ask.”

“I know–I’m telling.”

“Well, stop it.” You huff, your mind making way for your frustration once more. He runs his fingers through his hair, and you falter for a moment, your mouth feeling drier than it was before. “Haechan, I don’t have all fucking day; give me my toys.”

“Or what?” He grins widely at you. “You won’t trash any of the gaming equipment because Jeno uses it too…so what’s your ultimatum, pretty?”

“Fine.” You practically snarl, breathing in deeply in an attempt to calm yourself somewhat. It fails. “I’ll just use your toothbrush,” You counter, smiling sweetly. “It’s the electric one, right? Interesting vibrations, but I bet I could make it work.”

“That’s the one,” Haechan confirms, his eyes now shamelessly eyeing you from top to bottom. “Do me a favor and don’t rinse it when you’re done.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You brought it up!”

“Yeah, as a joke, you little freak!” You cry, exasperated.

“Whatever,” He replies, having the audacity to look somewhat put out.

“I can’t fucking stand you, Haechan.” You growl, pinching the bridge of your nose to offset the headache you’re sure is coming on.

“Careful–talk to me nicely if you want your toys back.” He reminds you.

Your eye twitches.

“Fuck being nice; I’ll sue you.” You blurt out, and Haechan laughs at that, only further enraging you.

“Oh, yeah? Sue me for what?”

“Theft!”

“Right,” He drawls as he finally swings his legs off of the bed and stands up. “How are you gonna look when you’re standing in front of a judge and jury, whining and pouting because of a…Large Purple Vibrating Jelly Dong with G-spot Stimulation?”

“Hey!” You squawk, offended. “…The large purple one doesn’t have g-spot stimulation.” Your defensive retort filters out as a sheepish mumble when you realize the absurdity of your words.

“Fun fact: mine is large.” Haechan starts, and you groan loudly, pressing your hands over your ears, attempting to drown him out to no avail. “It’s firmer than that weird fucking rubber, silicone shit they use, and I can definitely stimulate your g-spot.” He finishes proudly, and you blink impassively at him, willing yourself to calm down before you do something you’ll regret.

“You’re not purple,” You counter, “and you can’t vibrate.”

“Slap a vibrating cock ring on me and I’m vibrating, baby.” Haechan answers so smoothly that you wonder for a moment if he practiced this. “Thankfully for me, my dick is nowhere near purple.”

“Wish it was,” You mutter bitterly. “Maybe that’d knock you down a few pegs.”

“I still have a fully functioning mouth and set of hands,” He points out, unperturbed by the dismissive scoff you let out. “You can huff and puff all you want; I could have you losing your mind if you just gave me a fucking chance–”

“Why the fuck would I give you a chance, you fucking dimwit–“

“I could go down on you for hours–“

“You stole my fucking sex toys–”

“The ends justify the means–“

“This cannot be real. There’s no way this is actually happening. Maybe I’m having a nightmare.”

“This is very much real life,” Haechan snickers, reaching for your arm with his index and thumb out as if he’s going to pinch you. Your body reacts before you even know what’s happening.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Haechan, I could actually murder you right now!” You yell, smacking his hand away from you. You don’t stop there, pushing Haechan’s shoulders roughly so he falls back onto his bed, his eyes wide in surprise and, if you’re not mistaken, unadulterated enjoyment. You pause, your gazes meeting, and you have never seen anyone look at you with this much blatant desire, let alone Haechan. “Is this seriously turning you on right now?!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about–“ He shifts slightly on the bed, adjusting his legs as if he’s uncomfortable. You look down at his lap and–

“Dude, your dick is hard!” You yell, and his eyes widen as he shushes you quickly, moving to sit up. “Don’t you fucking move.” You order, and he freezes, very visibly contemplating whether or not to listen, but he must finally see the very thin thread of your sanity pulled alarmingly taut because he obliges, reclining back into his somewhat vulnerable position.

You’re staring at Haechan, unmoving as you contemplate escalating to physical violence, and it hits you again, as he lies on his back on his bed and his eyes have this almost burning intensity to them as he watches you intently, that Lee Donghyuck is fine as fuck.

You’re talking, like, really fine–one of the finest guys in your year, for sure. You could even say top five, honestly–

…You want to fuck Haechan. You are coming to the full realization and stony, bitter even, acceptance of the fact that you are unequivocally turned on by Haechan and you would fuck him in a heartbeat if the circumstances were favorable for once. You could just be delirious, though; the pent-up sexual frustration building in you from this whole week could just be directing itself at the first attractive person you see, who happens to be the very cause of your lack of release this whole week. Now you’re angry again, but still turned on, but angry that you’re turned on, and this is such a whirlwind and your head hurts–

You haven’t moved or spoken in a while, you realize belatedly. You and Haechan have been frozen in the same positions, Haechan’s probing gaze somehow never faltering as he watches you tensely. You briefly scan your surroundings for something you can use to attack him without injuring anything but his pride, and your eyes land on his pillow.

Haechan follows your gaze, and his eyes widen in alarm. You both lunge for the pillow, and you realize a moment after you’ve grabbed it with one hand that Haechan seems very invested in keeping the pillow where it is, the male pushing it down in place. You yank the pillow roughly, shifting it a few inches, and keep yanking it as the two of you scuffle, both of you grunting with effort and muttering determinedly under your breath.

After what feels like ages of a stupid game of tug-of-war, Haechan seems to give up, shoving his hand under the pillow and removing it quickly, hiding his hand behind his back, but it’s too late–you’d know that specific shade of pink that you just saw a flash of anywhere.

“You kept my vibrator under your pillow?” You can barely contain your shriek of disbelief, and at least Haechan has enough self-awareness to look somewhat sheepish as he gets to his feet once more, now on the opposite side of his bed as an attempt to keep his distance. “Oh, my God.”

“Listen–”

“Under your pillow–”

“Keep your voice down–”

“It’s not like you’re gonna get fucked by proximity, or association, or osmosis or some shit–”

“Would you shut up?” Haechan hisses in the most irritated tone that you think you’ve ever heard him speak to you with, and it startles you into a stunned silence.

Haechan’s relief is short-lived.

“...You stole my vibrator…among my other toys.” You say slowly, staring him down and speaking as if he’s stupid. “You kept my vibrator under your pillow…and you think you get to tell me to shut up?”

“Look–” Haechan sighs, and now he’s pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No, you look, Mr. Sex Toy Stealer,” You snap irritably, and his jaw clenches as he visibly struggles not to roll his eyes.

You hate how attractive that was.

“I don’t know what you thought this was going to accomplish. Did you think this would work like–like…a kinky version of the Tooth Fairy or something? You’d sleep with my vibrator under your pillow and would wake up to your dick in my mouth or something?” You huff, brows furrowed in confusion and incredulity.

“No–”

“I’m talking, not you.” You glare at him, and he falls silent once more, visibly annoyed as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue.

Again–disgustingly attractive.

“Anyway,” You continue, “I can’t even figure out, for the life of me, why you’re so hellbent on sleeping with me. You hype yourself up to me all the time, talking about your stamina, your abilities, the size of your dick–you name it, I’ve probably fucking heard it.” You throw your hands up in the air exasperatedly, pointing at Haechan with a smug expression. “You know what? I bet you’re bluffing.” You muse thoughtfully, and you have to take a moment to thank the powers that be for not letting you miss out on his incredible, albeit slightly unexpected reaction.

His eyebrows shoot upwards, eyes widen, jaw drops, and Haechan manages to look offended, incredulous, and pissed all at once. You never expected your jab to receive such a rewarding reaction, and now you’re curious to see how far you can push him until he…well, you don’t really know what he’ll do, which is exactly why you want to find out.

“I am not bluffing.” Haechan says slowly, staring you directly in the eyes with a certain unnerving darkness to his gaze that you’ve never seen from him before.

“Mm, you probably are.” You hum thoughtfully, starting to walk around his bed towards him, Haechan only watching you with his same unreadable expression as you get closer and closer.

“Watch it.” He warns you, and your devilishly gleeful grin widens.

“Or what, Haechan?” Your voice is dangerously quiet to Haechan, sweeter than he’s ever heard you sound, and among his alarm and frustration with you, he feels his cock stirring in his pants with intrigue and arousal. “What is Mr. Pencil Dick-”

“Hey–”

“Sex Toy Stealer gonna do?” You’re even closer now, voice even softer and sweeter than it was before. Haechan is glowering down at you and you’re smiling sweetly at him, your mutual switch in demeanors not lost on the both of you.

“Pencil Dick?” Haechan scoffs, and you shrug. “You’ve literally seen my dick print.”

“So?” You reply casually, to which Haechan rolls his eyes. “That’s just a print. Could be a trick of the light.”

“You know good and well it’s not just a fucking print–” He growls, and you raise your hands in mock surrender.

“Fine!” You seem to acquiesce, and Haechan raises a brow, staring at you as if waiting for the punchline to hit. He is not mistaken. “Big or not, you have to know how to use it, and you…don’t seem like you do.” You’re blatantly lying now; Haechan does seem more than capable of using his dick, but you need to get under his skin the way he does yours.

“Fine.” He replies with an air of finality, and you raise an eyebrow.

“Fine?”

“You want your toy so bad?” He replies, wagging it teasingly in your line of sight, and your eyes narrow.

“Duh.”

“Come over here and take it from me.” If you were focusing on anything other than the hot pink vibrator in his hand, you’d have noticed the dangerous glint in his eye along with his challenging tone.

“Fine.” You scoff, striding over to him so you two are practically face to face. You reach for it, your hand level with his shoulder, and he moves it just out of your reach.

“Try again.” He sing-songs, and you growl under your breath, reaching for it again only for the same thing to happen. “Come on, pretty girl, I thought you wanted it?”

“Haechan, stop being an asshole and give it–” You huff, lunging for it another time, Haechan now holding the toy over your head just out of reach. “God, you act like you’re so fucking tall, dude. You’re fucking 5’9” on a good day.” You snap, and he glowers down at you, backing away with the toy as you follow, continuing to attempt to grab it. You’re under the impression he’s just being an ass by walking away from you, but he makes his intentions clear quickly as he wraps his arm around your waist and spins you around, pinning you up against the wall by his bedroom door without even breaking his stride. With the hand holding your vibrator that he doesn’t have placed on the wall to the side of your head, he pushes his door shut with one hand, the telltale sound of the door clicking alerting you to just how alone the two of you are now.

In the whirlwind of events that just happened, the only constant you can track is that Haechan’s eyes never once left you, the male staring you down intently with all the determination of a predator about to strike.

“All that shit you said to rile me up was cute, pretty girl,” Haechan says slowly, every syllable hitting you lower and lower on your body until they’re sending jolts of desire directly to your core, your throat refusing to cooperate as you attempt to swallow before meeting his gaze. “I wonder if you’ll think it’s cute when I have you crying and losing it on my cock in a moment.”

“I definitely would be crying if I had to teach my aggravatingly flirtatious roommate how to use the alleged monster cock he’s got in his pants,” You retort, and by the way Haechan’s eyebrows shoot upwards, you get the feeling he didn’t appreciate that line too much.

So you continue.

“As a matter of fact,” You muse thoughtfully, struggling to hide the glee on your face at the sight of an extremely pissed Haechan, “I bet any tears I would cry would be in solidarity with all the gorgeous, gorgeous girls that you couldn’t make cum–”

“If you’re so sure I can’t make you cum, then let me try.” He proposes, a fire alight in his eyes that you find incredibly attractive and somewhat unsettling. “Otherwise, you’re afraid to put your money where your mouth is.”

“Mm, no thanks; I hate being edged.” You hum dismissively as you look down at your nails casually, and Haechan’s responding chuckle is filled with absolutely bitter amusement that has something very sadistic purring in satisfaction inside of you. “Plus, you have all of my toys, so I don’t even know how I’d get myself off.”

“Guess you have no other options then.”

“Guess I’ll go buy more sex toys.” You look up just in time to catch his reaction, Haechan’s frustration plainly displayed on his face, but even as he huffs and puffs about how difficult you’re being, he can’t stop staring at your mouth no matter what he does. A smile quirks the corners of your lips upwards as the realization hits that Haechan is almost entirely mesmerized by you right now, his lust and agitation battling it out so visibly that it makes a fascinating spectacle.

“If you seriously go buy another sex toy, you’re going to look like the biggest, most stubborn brat–”

“Speaking of looking, Haechan, you look like you wanna kiss me right now,” You taunt, a breathless laugh escaping you, and he glares down at you with a deeply annoyed expression, and you suddenly get it when he tells you that you look hot when you’re mad, because, fuck, he looks good right now.

“Shut up.” His reply is curt, more brusque than he’s ever been with you, and your eyes widen as a grin overtakes your face.

“Oh, wow, you do! Oh, you wanna kiss me so bad.” You taunt, leaning forward and staring at his lips the way he’s been doing yours, nibbling your bottom lip as you look back up at him. “Don’t you, Haechan?”

“I’m warning you,” Haechan replies slowly, deliberately, as he watches your lips with all the intensity and focus of a hawk. “Don’t play with me like that.”

“Who’s playing? I’m stating facts,” You counter as innocently as possible. “I’m standing here. Fact?” You ask, waiting for Haechan’s response. When he clenches his jaw and looks away from you, you tsk disapprovingly and hold his chin between your index and thumb, turning his face back so his gaze is on you. “This is the part where you answer, Haechan.”

“…Fact.” He says reluctantly, and you smile, nodding and moving his chin so he’s nodding as well.

“Good. You have my vibrator in your hand. Fact?”

“…Fact.”

“Good. You have me pressed against this wall. Fact?”

“Fact.”

“You’re getting it!” You say as sweetly yet patronizingly as you can manage. “You want to kiss me. Fact?” At his silence, you raise your eyebrows, rocking onto the balls of your feet to get in his face even more. As if he’s in a trance, his lips gravitate towards yours so suddenly, you’d swear you were both magnetic. A quick glance up to his face shows that his eyes are heavy-lidded, the visible parts trained on your mouth, and you lean in just a bit more, like you’re going to kiss him, making him move to meet you and fall right into your trap of following your lips even as you sink back down onto your heels. “Fact?” You repeat, and he rolls his eyes before his lids flutter shut, reopening them to stare you down with a dead set expression that thrills you. “Haechan.”

“Fact,” He practically spits out, and you laugh, delighted.

“You wanna kiss me so bad, it’s messing with your head.” You coo condescendingly, and Haechan groans, clearly aggravated. “Fact?” Haechan doesn’t answer, and you pinch his chin again, preparing to turn his head towards you again.

Everything happens very fast. Haechan sucks his teeth, mutters, “Fuck it,” under his breath, smacks your hand away from his face but grabs your wrist, yanks you towards him, and seals his mouth over yours in a heated, all-consuming kiss. Your attempt at a gasp is swallowed by his dominating lips as they move confidently against yours, his lips warm and smooth as they slot between yours and suck on your bottom lip.

“Haechan,” You moan into his mouth, and he groans in satisfaction, his free arm winding around the small of your back to pull you flush against him, the sound of your vibrator thudding to the floor barely registering as his lips greedily steal your every attempt to breathe. You’re left whimpering desperately for an opportunity to take in a gulp of air, and Haechan finally has mercy on you, breaking the kiss momentarily to allow you to breathe, which you do gratefully, breathing in deeply as he studies your face, your glistening, pouty lips, and your wide-eyed expression, your pupils blown wide with pure desire as you stare back at him. His gaze drops back down to your lips and he subconsciously licks his own, his grip tightening around your back and evoking a small whine of longing from you.

“Pretty girl,” Haechan murmurs, his lips teasing your own apart, “I’m gonna fuck you senseless.” The words leave his lips oddly like a promise, spoken with such determination that you swallow thickly, one hand coming up to clutch at his arm before you summon the energy to poke the bear once more.

“Are you sure you’re capable of that?” Your words come out breathier and huskier than you expected, your voice somewhat stolen by the passion of Haechan’s kiss, and he raises his brows, poking his tongue in his cheek before grinning and leaning back down to recapture your lips with his own. He nips and sucks and licks at your lips, his tongue parting the seam of your lips without even giving you a choice and flicking teasingly at your own, only pulling back so he can suck on your tongue or bottom lip.

“Gonna fuck you so good,” He grunts, whirling you two around and walking you towards his bed. When the backs of your legs hit the foot of his bed, his hands drop to your hips so he can lift you slightly and half-push, half-toss you onto the bed. You barely make it up from the initial bounce before he’s on top of you, his warmth and scent–which, you finally note, is intoxicating–enveloping you as he rests on top of you. “That you cry.” He finishes the sentence you didn’t know was incomplete in the first place, and a shudder runs down your spine when his spit-slicked lips kiss down to your chin, jaw, and neck, sucking and nipping harshly enough to have winces and moans leaving your lips freely.

Haechan continues to mouth at your neck while his hand slips between you two and runs up your side, cupping your breast over your shirt and squeezing, relishing the moan you let out. His lips attack your own again as his hand snakes up your shirt and strokes at the skin left exposed by your bra, his fingers pressing experimentally into the plushy flesh as his thumb swipes over your nipple, teasing the hint of the pebbled bud peeking through your bra.

Without another word, he sits up slightly, using both hands to push your shirt up and, once it passes your breasts, he switches to pulling it with quick yanks, not even giving you a chance to help before the shirt is hurriedly removed from your body. Haechan reassumes his position on top of you and attaches his lips to your neck, sucking and licking at the skin as one hand gropes at your chest eagerly but skillfully, knowing every way to knead and caress, every opportune moment to tug at your nipple through the fabric, and you have to give him props for that–if the warmth spreading throughout your underwear indicates what you believe it does, his ministrations so far have your underwear absolutely soaked with arousal.

His mouth travels lower and lower until he’s kissing the swell of your breasts, sucking wet patches of saliva onto your skin as one hand caresses your breast and your side. His touches are so distracting that you don’t even notice when he slips his hand under you to unhook your bra, the garment loosening out of seemingly nowhere before he’s pulling it off of you, thankfully more gingerly than he’d removed your shirt, and his lips are on your breasts without another moment of thought.

“Fuck,” You whisper in surprise as Haechan attacks your chest with wet kisses, surprisingly harsh sucking, and slightly gentler nipping. You can feel your eyes trying to roll back in your head from the pleasure, but, if you’re being honest with yourself, you want to watch him, Haechan’s full pink lips making for a very pretty picture as he sucks at your skin. He kisses around your areola, dragging the tip of his tongue around it teasingly as he watches your reaction. “Stop teasing,” You grunt, annoyed, and he chuckles.

“Just showing you what your toys could never do,” He retorts, and your comeback dies on your tongue in favor of the moan that bursts through when his lips fall to your nipple, the male swirling his tongue around the bud and sucking intently. The involuntary swear that falls from your lips only spurs Haechan on more as he shifts his weight slightly so he’s lying mostly beside you, one hand splayed across your stomach before he moves it downwards, fingers dragging so heavy-handedly that, if he had longer fingernails, you would see scratch marks beginning to form. His every move screams his presence, as if he’s reminding you that this is him doing this, no one–or thing, you suppose–else to give the praise of such pleasure.

As he sucks and licks at your breast, his hand slips under the waistband of your sweats, teases along the hem of your underwear, and dips lower to stroke languidly along the seat of your very damp underwear, even pushing in over your entrance to give you the strange but not undesirable sensation of his fingers, surrounded by the warm, wet fabric of your underwear, pushing into your entrance shallowly. A sharp gasp leaves you, and Haechan chuckles, his teeth biting down gently on your nipple as he grins.

“You like that, huh?” He muses, and you bite back the moan you want to let out as you remember he’s trying to prove a point and that you’d rather not make his job this easy. “Getting quiet on me all of a sudden?” He murmurs softly, too softly given the context. Your suspicions are confirmed when he, again, moves more quickly than you’re able to comprehend in the circumstances; he shifts back on top of you, maneuvers his fingers past your underwear, switches to suck on your other nipple, and starts to trace up and down your slick folds, finally pushing into you and providing you with some relief.

“Holy shit,” You gasp, your hips moving of their own accord as you try to lift yourself into his touch.

“You can keep that pretty mouth quiet all you want–I’ll just listen to how loud your wet little pussy is.” Haechan says smugly from around your nipple, and you’re about to fire back a retort, but he sucks particularly roughly on your nipple and starts to fuck you diligently with his fingers, the wet sounds of his fingers moving in and out of your core making your face burn with embarrassment at how needy you feel for him. “Try and stay quiet now,” He mumbles, the message seemingly for you but delivered almost entirely to himself, and he’s right–it’s almost impossible for you to hold in your whimpers and moans, his name even threatening to slip from your lips, but you thankfully hold that back.

When a swear almost makes its way out, you clap your hand over your mouth, and Haechan glares up at you with an affronted expression, his hand moving from your breast to grab the wrist of the hand covering your mouth and pin it beside your head, shooting you a challenging look that makes you think that maybe you shouldn’t try that again.

“God, fuck,” You groan, unable to hold it in any longer and, as if he’s rewarding you, Haechan speeds up the pace of his fingers, letting you buck your hips into his hand as much as you’d like as his palm presses against your mound, providing delicious pressure and relief to your clit as your hips buck and roll against his hand.

“That’s it,” He coos, your nipple slipping from his mouth in favor of praising you, and it takes an impressive amount of willpower not to melt at the positive remark, your eyes shutting tightly as that tugging sensation in your lower abdomen starts to build, your climax approaching quickly.

A low whine builds inside of you, increasing in volume the closer your climax gets, and when it hits, the dam bursts, and a number of sounds emerges from you, stuttered gasps and cries fighting to leave you first while your brain tries to keep them all inside, trying and failing not to give Haechan the satisfaction of hearing how much pleasure he’s giving you.

“See? Now, didn’t that feel nice?” Haechan lilts tauntingly as his hand releases your arm he’d pinned down, and your eyes narrow in his direction.

“Shut up, Haechan.” You grouch. “All you proved was you know how to finger someone.”

“Which is foreplay,” He points out. “Which most guys are shit at.”

“Guys are also shit at the actual fucking part.” You reply, surprisingly composed considering the foggy clouds of arousal swimming in your head right now.

“Fine,” Haechan counters, reaching down to untie the string on his sweats, and you swat his hand away with a judgmental look. “What now?”

“We’re not doing it this way,” You laugh, and he looks down at you, mildly baffled. “I’m on top. You’re only replacing my sex toy, remember?” You remind him, and he rolls his eyes before rolling off of you and onto his back.

“Kinda forgot about that,” He admits. “That was–you were–you are–so hot, it just slipped my mind.”

You let out a huff of amusement and sit up, preparing to straddle him even as he sits up and leans into another kiss, his lips moving against yours with a desperation that refuses to let you catch a breath, Haechan cutting off your weak moan as you attempt to pull off to breathe by cupping the back of your neck and pulling you down into another kiss.

“God,” You finally gasp when he releases you (or, really, you manage to release yourself) from the kiss.

“It’s pronounced Haechan,” The male under you replies with a cocky grin, and you shoot him an unimpressed look.

“First of all, you wish. Second of all, hurry up,” You huff, sitting back on your heels as he maneuvers himself into a sitting position, his back against his headboard. “Much better,” You murmur, scratching under his chin with one finger, surprised when he shudders in pleasure at your act that was supposed to be condescending. “Interesting,” You muse to yourself, and he glowers at you before pressing the head of his cock against your entrance, provoking an immediate gasp of surprise from you.

“You ready?” He mumbles, barely looking up at you as he studies the way his tip looks pressing against you, changing his grip so his cock is leaning more towards his stomach and using one hand to guide your hips so you’re rocking against his length, coating it with your arousal.

“Stop teasing,” You gripe, and he flicks his gaze up to you, studying your expression before looking back down. “My toy would never do this to me.” You get his attention at that, his glare up at you thrilling you as he sucks his teeth and positions himself at your entrance again.

“Your toy also wouldn’t know how to fuck the attitude out of you.” He counters, and enters you before you can reply, slowly but steadily filling you up. You hate to admit it, but he feels amazing, the sensation of his length gradually pushing into you sending pleasure signals all throughout your body and fogging your mind even more than it already was. “That’s what I thought,” He says, sounding smug, and you snap out of whatever reverie he placed you in to realize that your hands are gripping his shoulders, your head tipping back from the pleasure, and you struggle for a moment, but manage to compose yourself.

“Didn’t moan,” You retort, and he leans forward, trailing kisses up your neck.

“You will.” He sounds so certain that it almost frightens you, his hands moving to help guide you up and down his length, the feeling of him moving inside of you so overwhelmingly pleasurable that your eyes almost roll back in your head.

“Won’t,” You breathe, and he just shoots you a challenging stare. He starts to thrust his hips up, gradually fucking up into you, and you grit your teeth, struggling not to cry out at how good he feels. His every thrust is powerful and driven, his desire to prove something to you evident in his every move, but you can sense his growing frustration as you refuse to make any sort of pleasure-filled noise, the only acceptable sounds you’re allowing yourself to make being stuttered breaths.

“You know it feels good, stop being difficult,” He groans, dragging his teeth down your neck, over your collarbones, and to your chest, where he kisses, licks, and sucks at the skin, hands leaving your hips to press your breasts together and in his face, his lips immediately wrapping around one of your nipples and sucking.

“‘M not being difficult,” You grit out, and he rolls his eyes at you, releasing your nipple with a wet pop.

“Then tell me how good it feels,” He urges. You shake your head.

“Your ego’s big enough.”

“Tell me.” He presses.

“My toys don’t need their little egos fluffed,” You taunt, leaning down so your lips are almost touching. “I thought you were better than them?”

“God, you’re so–I can’t–fuck,” He stammers, his head lolling back onto the headboard, and you grin smugly.

“Haechan,” You purr, deliberately clenching around him and relishing in the choked gasp he lets out. “Are you gonna cum?”

“No,” He groans, but his body tells a different story as his thrusts up into you grow unsteady and erratic.

“If you cum before I do, you’re no better than my toys.” You tease, and he growls under his breath, stilling himself as he’s buried inside of you and breathing shallowly, his chest heaving as he, you assume, restrains himself from finishing. He lifts his head up from leaning back against the headboard and his eyes refocus on you, still hazy but there’s a steely resolve behind them that’s both impressive and intimidating. “All good now?”

“Yeah,” He exhales, and you tilt his chin up so he’s looking directly at you.

“Good boy,” You coo condescendingly, and nothing in the world could have prepared you for his reaction. His eyes roll back in his head, fingers grip your hips tighter, a tremor visibly runs through his body, and he groans loudly in ecstasy. “You’re a little slut for praise,” You marvel, and his gaze snaps back onto you immediately, closing his eyes and chuckling in a way that you both did not expect and do not believe bodes well for you.

“That’s it.” He looks up at you and pulls you off of him, setting you down next to him.

Haechan moves you the way he wants quickly—and, if you’re being honest, a bit roughly—so you’re on your back with him settled between your legs, and he lifts your legs so your knees bend and pushes them towards your chest, letting you hold them in the air as he strokes the underside of your thighs in rhythmic motions.

“You’re such a little brat,” He huffs, still sounding amused, and you smile up at him with a look of faux innocence.

“If you can’t handle it, you can give me my toys and I’ll be out of here.” You bite back with a sickly sweet smile, and he chuckles.

“You know what I think is the best part of fucking with brats?” He asks as if you hadn’t even spoken, and you roll your eyes.

“What?” You ask, and he leans over so you two are face to face, speaking his next words slowly and carefully.

“Breaking them.” The look in his eyes silences you, the intensity more than a little intimidating, and he studies your face before grinning and leaning back up, pushing your knees as close to your chest as you can handle. “Hold them.” When you comply, he mirrors your feigned sweet smile from earlier. “Good girl.”

“Oh, fuck off,” You snap, and he raises an eyebrow.

“I could fuck off right now, actually.”

“Great! I’ll just use my toys.”

“You’re not getting those back.” He says simply, and you splutter indignantly.

“What the fuck do you mean by I’m not getting them back?” You demand, and he stares at you blankly.

“I mean that you’re not getting them back. You have me now,” He answers you, smiling and patting you between your legs, his smile widening when you jolt from the sudden attention your clit receives from the less-than-gentle pats.

“I don’t want you,” You retort, watching as he lowers himself so his face is level with your body. “I want my toys,” You whine, and he mimics your whining tone, rolling his eyes.

“Too fucking bad.” He counters, and his mouth is on you before you can think of anything to say back. A whine escapes you immediately when he looks up at you with a challenge in his eyes, his mouth sucking and kissing at the fleshy folds just below your clit, and he makes a mini-spectacle of letting his tongue loll out, the pink muscle warm and wet against your core. He drags his tongue up your folds repeatedly, his actions getting heavier and more forceful when he nears the underside of your clit to deliver an almost electric jolt of pleasure to you.

It’s safe to say that you’re probably about to lose your fucking mind.

Haechan laps at your pussy greedily, fingers digging into the underside of your thighs roughly as he pushes his face between your legs forcefully, and his lewd moans of enjoyment have your face blazing with heat, suddenly deeply nervous as you remember Jeno’s one door down and, if he’s not wearing headphones, can probably hear you two. Two fingers press at your entrance, sliding in with ease, and you cry out weakly, your grip slackening on your thighs as you start to struggle in holding yourself open for the male currently devouring your pussy.

“You said you don’t want me, but that’s not true, is it?” He asks tauntingly, his fingers pumping in and out of you quickly, and you look away, embarrassed by how loud the wet sounds are of him touching you. “This pretty little pussy wouldn’t lie to me.” He coos almost fondly, leaning in and puckering his lips around your clit to give it little kisses that he has to know are only riling you up further, and sucking on it gently.

“Stop teasing, you assho–oh, fuck,” You inhale sharply when he takes your clit into his mouth and sucks hard, letting it slip from his mouth with a wet sound before spreading your lips and flicking your clit back and forth with his tongue rapidly, groaning in satisfaction as he watches your eyes glaze over with pleasure, your jaw dropping in shock. “Fuck,” You gasp, breathless as his fingers hook inside of you, the pads of his middle and ring fingers fucking directly into your g-spot, and he removes his mouth from you with a sloppy wet sound and sits up slightly, looking you directly in the eyes as he spits directly on your pussy, grinning when you gasp in surprise and mild disgust.

“This pretty little pussy belongs to me now,” Haechan grunts.

“You wish,” You scoff defiantly, and he just shoots you a charming but wicked grin.

“You’re granting my wish right now.” He counters, and you prepare to snark back at him, but he delivers a sharp, abrupt slap to your pussy, causing a yelp of pain, shock, and, if you’re honest with yourself, arousal to escape you. “You like that, don’t you?” He murmurs with a devilish grin, smacking it again, and you whine, moving to close your legs defensively, but he swats both of your inner thighs as a warning, and you hesitantly keep them open, jolting as he slaps your pussy again. “Tell me it’s mine.” He orders.

“Nope,” You say stubbornly. Smack. “Fuck!”

“Tell me.”

“I don’t want–” Smack. “It’s yours!” You cry out, feeling the building of your next climax in your lower abdomen, that tugging feeling that intensifies with every slap of his hand against your clit.

“Whose is it?”

“Yours,” You gasp, and he brings the hand previously smacking your core—which, you note with a twinge of embarrassment, is absolutely glistening with your arousal and some of his saliva—to your clit, rubbing quick circles around the sensitive bud, and your climax is nothing short of explosive. Your eyes screw shut immediately as white floods your vision, and your whole body feels abuzz, alight with ecstasy, the pleasure so consuming you don’t even know what the sounds you’re making are, the only things you can make out being Haechan’s name and a number of swears. He helps you ride your climax out for as long as you possibly can, not letting up on his finger fucking or his ministrations on your clit, and only stops when you release your legs, attempting to curl in on yourself protectively.

“We’re not done here,” He chuckles, positioning himself on his knees between your legs and guiding his cock to your entrance. Your eyes widen in bewilderment and anything you had planned to say flies out of your mind as soon as his length pushes into you fully, stopping when he’s fully buried in you, the only noise you do make sounding like something between a slow, shaky intake of air and a desperate whimper.

“Don’t worry,” He says in a comforting tone as he leans down to your face. “You’re almost there.” You go slack in relief as he places a quick kiss to your lips before sitting back up and pulling out slowly, almost to the tip, before thrusting back in with a quick rolling snap of his hips, and you cry out in ecstasy, provoking him to repeat the action over and over until he’s fucking you at a steady pace.

“Oh, my God,” You whimper tearfully, and Haechan lets out a smug chuckle.

“You like that, hm? Yeah?” He mocks you as you whimper and nod desperately. “Like me fucking you nice–and–deep like this?” He punctuates his last couple of words with powerful thrusts, and you can’t help but let out stuttered whines with every thrust. “Where’s all that fire from earlier, hm?” One day, you suppose you’ll find it in you to resent the utterly mocking and condescending tone he’s taking with you; that day, however, is not today, nor is it in the foreseeable future, because you’re not even sure you’ll have enough brain cells left to process anger or anything other than being cock-drunk and fucked out.

When Haechan angles his hips so his every thrust has him rutting against your clit, you protest immediately, a sharp cry slipping from you as you swat him away in a panic.

“Not there,” You plead breathlessly, not knowing how much more your poor clit can take. Haechan coos at you in faux sympathy, reaching between you two. His hand makes a beeline for your clit, tweaking, twisting, pulling, and pinching the swollen bud as you squirm under him, desperate sobs of exhaustion and overstimulation leaving you.

“Not here?” He taunts you with a mockingly sweet tone, and you whimper, melting under his touch. “Isn’t this what you wanted? You wanted this, what’s wrong? You wanted to cum and I’m making you cum so many times–you should be thanking me.” He purrs, and at your nonsensical whining and babbling, sits up slightly. “As a matter of fact? When you cum, I want you to thank me.” He says with a smug grin, and you don’t even have it left in you to fight back, giving him a tired but emphatic nod in response.

“Close,” You gasp, your eyes rolling back into your head, and he grunts in acknowledgment, his length throbbing as your walls clench around him and urge him closer to his own release.

“What do you say?” He pants through gritted teeth, and you throw your pride out the metaphorical window, figuring you can do the walk of shame to get it later.

“Thank you,” You stammer, and your climax hits, your back arching off of the bed so forcefully your muscles practically scream in protest. Haechan’s powerful thrusts don’t let up until he’s finished climaxing, the only sounds to be heard now being the bed moving, skin slapping against skin, his breathless grunts, and your weakly repeated mantra of “thank you” filling the room as his thrusts slowly come to a stop.

Haechan pulls out of you slowly, both of you letting out a sound of disappointment as you lose the feeling of him filling you up and he loses the feeling of your walls wrapped around him nice and tight. When he’s sitting back on his heels, his length now fully removed from you, you weakly close your legs, not yet willing to admit that Haechan may have successfully fucked the energy out of you on a level your toys could never provide.

If you’re being really honest, you’re pretty sure most partners you could have in the future wouldn’t be able to fuck you as incredibly mindless as Haechan just did, and you’re extremely reluctant to say out loud or even acknowledge that Haechan really is insanely good in bed. You’re brought out of your daze by the feeling of something cold being pressed to your lips, your head flinching back before you look down the mouth of a water bottle and relax.

“You should drink it,” Haechan persists, and you sit up slightly, taking the bottle from him and sipping from it gingerly as Haechan moves to sit beside you on his bed. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” You mumble, silently surprised by how drained you sound. Haechan gets a bit of a smug look on his face that, for the first time in ever, you let slide because it really is deserved. “Hey, Haechan?”

“Mm?”

“You were right.” You bite the bullet, and his head whips around to look at you incredulously. “That was…good.”

“…Good?” He sounds displeased with your word choice which, actually, you can say is fair because he was so much more than just good.

“You were really fucking good, Haechan.” You admit, and he grins at you, visibly more content with your description. “Like…really good.”

“I know,” He says with a cocky little grin that sends a little flutter through your body. “Don’t doubt me next time.”

“…Next time?” You say, confused, and Haechan looks down at you with an equally confused expression.

“…Next time we…?” He gestures between the two of you, and you raise your eyebrows.

“Oh! Oh, no.” You laugh, and he stares at you blankly.

“What?”

“Haechan, that was great and all, but it’s not happening again.” You explain, and he huffs in disbelief.

“You’ve gotta be kidding.” He exhales slowly, and you pat his arm comfortingly.

“I am not.” You say calmly, and climb out of his bed to start grabbing at your clothes, putting each garment on as you find it and doing your best to ignore the way that Haechan stares at you incredulously the entire time. Before long, you’re dressed once more and are putting on a very brave face to hide how your legs feel like jelly, your brain feels like slime, and you fear that giving into Haechan this time may have opened a can of worms because looking at him on his bed is just making you want to walk, wobble, waddle, whatever word works, over to him and let him take you again and again and again.

“Well. Thanks, I guess. I want all my shit back, by the way, Haechan.” You say seriously, and he glowers at you.

“Yeah,” He mutters, and you nod, now feeling awkward. So you leave with a little wave and head back to your room, collapsing onto your bed and groaning at your sore muscles.

“Jesus Christ, he’s good,” You huff, a little mad to have the wind knocked out of your sails like that; you were hoping he was at least a little incompetent in some way, but he wasn’t.

You can’t even manage to stay up for any longer, your eyes sliding shut before you get a chance to shower, use the bathroom, or make yourself feel any less icky, your whole body feeling some horrid combination of sweaty, slippery, and sticky. The last thought you have before passing out entirely is a hope that maybe Haechan proved his point and has no further business with you for your sake.

━━━━━━━━━▲━━━━━━━━━

Your not-so-productive work session in your bedroom gets a disruption in the form of Haechan’s loud groan in the living room. You sit in place for a moment, not sure if you should even bother engaging, but he groans again, and you figure whatever he’s up to is more interesting than the paper you’re supposed to be writing, so you shut your laptop and shift it onto your bed, getting up and padding into the living room.

“What’s your problem?” You ask when you see Haechan sitting on the couch, his head tipped back on the cushion behind him.

“This fucking level,” He groans again, running his hand through his hair so forcefully that you briefly wonder if it hurt. “I keep losing.” He practically growls, turning his head to the side to look at you, and you shift your weight from one foot to the other, meeting his stare.

“What level?” You ask curiously, and even though Haechan’s brow lifts in skepticism, he gestures at the television screen with a jerk of his chin, and you move behind where he sits, leaning against the back of the couch. His eyes follow you the whole time as you take your new position, his tongue trailing along his upper lip in a blatantly suggestive move that you pretend you haven’t seen. “Oh…simply just do not lose next time you try it.” You offer, your tongue in your cheek as you grin teasingly down at him. He glowers up at you, rolling his eyes, and you maintain your taunting smile.

“Listen, it’s harder than you think!” Haechan insists when he looks back at the screen, and you shrug, smiling innocently at him.

“I can’t relate; I am a winner and I excel at everything I attempt.” You hum pleasantly, and Haechan snorts in amusement, looking back up at you with raised brows. You look down at him as you mirror his expression, Haechan’s eyes pointedly gravitating down from your face to your chest, his tongue sneaking out to wet his lips, and you scoff agitatedly as you push the back of his head so he’s looking at the screen again.

“Yeah, how’s that manifestation working out for you?” He chuckles, and you gasp in offense, provoking Haechan to look at you once more.

“I hope your current save glitches and erases itself.” You say with a sweet smile, and his eyes widen fearfully.

“You’re evil,” He remarks in horror and awe, and your smile just widens.

“Maybe.”

“Fine then, winner, how about you come over here and try it?” Haechan waves you over, patting beside him on the couch with the controller in his hand and you shrug, figuring it’s a better way to procrastinate than just sitting around doing nothing.

“Okay.” You agree, making your way around the couch to sit beside him, and Haechan looks at you with a startled expression the entire time.

“Our first date,” He whispers in awe, and you grimace at him, shaking your head.

“Hard pass. I’m gonna go stare at my laptop and pretend my work is doing itself.” You say, and Haechan pulls you back down when you move to stand up.

“I’m sorry, it was a joke! Here, I’ll explain the game and the controls and stuff,” Haechan offers, and you eye him skeptically, but he really does launch into a comprehensive explanation of the game he’s playing, and you definitely have to ask more clarifying questions than you’re comfortable with, but he answers them patiently and seems appreciative that you actually care.

“You’re getting the hang of it!” Haechan encourages you, his eyes wide, and you can’t help but narrow your eyes at him.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” You huff, nudging him with your shoulder, and he laughs, his gaze still trained on the screen as you navigate through the game on a new save point Haechan set up for you so you could get used to the controls.

“I can’t help it. Who would’ve thought a pretty girl like you had a natural gaming ability?” He chuckles, and you try your best to shield your reaction to the casual compliment from Haechan, disguising the whine you want to let out with a small cough and clearing your throat.

Unfortunately for you, that compliment wasn’t as casual as you’d thought it to be, and Haechan’s eyes study your micro-reaction to the name, a small smirk curling the corner of his mouth.

Also unfortunately for you, the pet name has unlocked something in your subconscious, your mind now slowly filtering in memories of the time you and Haechan spent together just the other day; recollections of the sounds he made, the way he felt, his hands, mouth, co–

“Look out!” Haechan exclaims, pointing at the screen, and you yelp in surprise, quickly navigate your character away from the threat he brought to your attention, and take a second to glare at him.

“You scared me!” You complain, bumping into him with your shoulder, and he scoffs in mock offense.

“I helped you!” He corrects you, scooting closer to mirror your earlier action, sending you lurching to the side. He bursts out into laughter that he at least attempts to contain when you start whining, placing both hands on either side of your waist and pulling you back up to your sitting position. “You drama queen.”

“Takes one to know one,” You gripe, and he rolls his eyes with an amused grin as he removes his hands from you, both of you now incredibly aware of how your thighs are pressed up against the other’s. Haechan’s gaze lifts from your touching legs to study your face, but you’re deliberately trained on the television, waiting until his eyes flick over to watch the screen to swallow thickly.

His thigh is warm, you note internally with a groan; you can feel the heat radiating from him, even through his grey sweatpants—which, you also note bitterly, you should fucking hide from him, the clothing item never failing to drive you mad as of late. You’re snapped from your reverie as he hits your side with the back of his hand repeatedly, his words rushing out in a flurry as he gives you pointers you can barely understand, leaving you to just follow the directions he’s giving you. When the tense moment passes, you both relax slightly, slumping back, and his hand falls from where it was poised to smack your side to land on your leg, slightly higher than you’d say “harmless touch” territory encompasses.

You both freeze at the sudden contact, eyes moving to look at his hand on your bare leg—he has really nice hands, you bemoan internally—and you look up at his face to see that he’s already looking at you, his stare unwavering and unnervingly attractive, a small noise of surprise (something between a squeak, squeal, and yelp; overall, an entirely undignified noise that you wish you could take to your grave) leaving you as you avert your gaze immediately.

He calls your name quietly, his voice serious and tone lower than usual, and you should be ashamed of how quickly your body reacts to him, your core clenching around nothing as the familiar warmth of desire starts to build inside of your abdomen, preparing to radiate through your whole body. You try your best to pretend that you simply didn’t hear him, but your sharp intake of breath when his hand squeezes your thigh slightly most definitely gives you away.

“Pretty girl,” Haechan’s tone barely sounds any different, but after the events of the other day, you’re fully tuned into the subtle shift, this delivery more insistent, more dominant; this is a demand for your attention, an order to look at him.

“Hm?” You hum softly, not yet trusting your voice to speak above a murmur, and you can hear him suck his teeth—in annoyance or disappointment, you’re not sure (because you’re not looking) but you’re willing to bet it’s a mix of both.

“You know what I want.” His voice is still level, deceptively even, like the calm before a storm, and it takes everything in you not to melt into a puddle right on the spot, your eyes dragging over to meet his gaze as if pulled by magnetic forces. The two of you last through maybe a couple of seconds of eye contact before you’re moving, his relieved groan mixing with your desperate whine as you two practically lunge at each other, your lips meeting immediately and moving against the other’s in sync. His fingers dig into your thigh uncomfortably for a moment before he releases your flesh and pulls you into his lap so you’re straddling him.

“God, fuck,” He groans in delight, the words strained with the effort of keeping his voice down. His hands do all of the talking his mouth can’t, palms pressing against you greedily, heavy-handed against your flesh as he gropes your hips and ass, squeezing firmly with a pleased grunt.

One hand leaves your hips, snaking up your shirt to hook his fingers in your bra cup and yank it down forcefully, his hand slipping out to push the hem of your shirt up past your breasts, and Haechan latches onto your nipple without another moment’s hesitation, sucking and licking as your fingers curl in his hair, your hips rocking against him under the firm guidance of his hand. When a sharp whine slips from your lips, Haechan looks up at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “You’d better be quiet,” He reminds you, staring directly at your mouth. “Keep those pretty little noises to a minimum if you don’t want Yena or Jeno to come find us.”

You nod quickly in agreement and he grins, his pink tongue peeking out to wet his lips before he pulls you into a heated kiss, both of you taking the opportunity to make noises as you please, his pants and grunts of pleasure alternating with your moans and gasps in a composition of the most desperate of symphonies.

He sucks at your bottom lip, tugging it and releasing it repeatedly to cherish the weak whines you vocalize every time he does it, and your fingers curl even harder in his hair, your nails lightly but deliciously scratching against his scalp.

“Shit, pretty girl,” He sounds throatier than usual after a particularly pleased whimper escapes you, and he pulls back from the kiss, taking your chin between his thumb and index finger and shaking your head from side to side in an endearing yet deeply patronizing gesture. “If you keep sounding so pretty, I’m not gonna be able to stop.”

“Then don’t,” You urge him, your voice surprising you when you hear it, it now sounding huskier and far more breathy than you can remember it ever being, and Haechan lets out an appreciative hum that sounds a lot like a growl, pulling your chin down so your lips connect once more. You resume your previously slowed pace of rolling your hips down against his lap, your clothed core rutting against his concealed length as you do your best to silence your moans and other sounds of pleasure when his kisses travel down lower until he’s licking and nipping at your neck. “No marks,” You gasp out, and he hums in acknowledgment, albeit a bit of an annoyed sort, and he busies himself with licking and sucking along your collarbones before he decides he’s satisfied, tapping your hip with one hand to get your attention and gesturing for you to turn around.

Once you do, he pulls you back into his lap, fingers digging into your shorts to tug them down; when you lift your hips to assist him and sit back down, the sudden skin-on-skin contact has you gasping involuntarily.

“Look at you,” Haechan coos condescendingly, fingers trailing along your inner thighs and showing you his digits, now glistening with your arousal. “So messy,” You can hear the mocking pout in his voice and you’re both aggravated by his cockiness and deeply attracted to it. “If we were alone in the apartment, I’d clean you up with my tongue,” He whispers in your ear, and your eyes just about roll back into your head at the thought. “Lift up a bit for me, pretty girl; spread just a bit for me—just like that, good.” He instructs you gently, nestling his length between your thighs and using your arousal as lubrication to bounce you up and down, fucking your thighs and grunting in satisfaction.

“Haechan,” You whine, brows furrowed as you realize his cock is just out of reach of your core, unable to offer you any sort of stimulation.

“I could cum just like this,” Haechan groans, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say there’s a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Well, I can’t!” You huff, and he hums sympathetically.

“No?” He asks, and you shake your head. “Even if I do this?” He asks, his hand reaching around you to rub quick, forceful circles against your clit, his lips reattaching to your neck to lick and suck.

“Holy shit,” You moan, your breathing growing labored as your pleasure builds. Lifting your hips just a bit higher than he has been, Haechan uses your state of arousal as a distraction to slip his thighs from between your thighs, your only warning the brief moment in which the head of his cock presses against your lower lips before he slides in without warning, pulling you down onto his cock until he’s fully buried inside of you. “Fuck, Haechan!” You hiss, and he chuckles devilishly, pressing apologetic kisses to the back of your neck.

“Sorry, pretty girl; just wanted you to know I wouldn’t leave you hanging like that.” He exhales, and you grip the couch cushions on either side of you, using the newfound stability to start bouncing up and down his length, both of you struggling to hold in your sounds of relief.

“God, feels so fucking good,” Haechan grunts, fighting against his fluttering eyelids that threaten to close, the male desperate to remain observant as you ride him but combatting the utterly draining pleasure coursing through him. “Missed this tight little pussy,” He pants, bucking his hips up to meet your downwards movements and grinning at the choked gasp you let out, your labored breaths each ending in a small whine as you chase your release, both of you so deliciously close until—

“Fuck,” You hiss loudly, fixing your shirt and bra and moving to shoot off of Haechan’s lap as a door opens from Haechan’s and Jeno’s side of the apartment, Haechan yanking you back into place and burying his cock in your folds, shushing you insistently and picking the abandoned controller up, resuming the game from where you left off.

“Hey, guys–” Jeno greets you two, stopping short at the sight of what is unmistakably you sitting on Haechan’s lap. “What are you doing?” He sounds more puzzled than suspicious, and you thank your lucky stars that Jeno’s a little clueless at times. Thankfully, the angle he’s standing at only grants him the view of your shoulders and up, so he’s none the wiser as to what you two are actually doing.

“I won a bet,” Haechan lies smoothly, looking over his shoulder at Jeno as he bounces his knees twice, his length pushing into you insistently. “She has to sit on my lap and be my good-luck charm while I play.” Haechan wraps his arms around your frame and hugs you tightly, swaying you from side to side with a big grin.

Two can play at that game, you think, and send a tight-lipped smile Jeno’s way, settling down harder onto Haechan’s lap and clenching around his length, your smile turning genuine as Haechan cries out through gritted teeth, the sound appearing to Jeno as one of pain from your forceful wiggling, but is actually one of almost overwhelmed pleasure, one hand leaving the controller to pinch your thigh, the sneaky act of revenge eliciting a wince from you that has Jeno’s brows furrowing in concern.

“Can you two be nice to each other? I don’t wanna come home to a crime scene.” Jeno asks worriedly, and you two nod quickly, far too quickly for both of your liking, but Jeno, yet again, notices nothing, shooting you both a friendly wave. “Okay, see you guys later; I’m going to the gym.”

“Bye!” You call after him, waiting for the door to shut and lock before you sigh in relief, your body going slack.

“We’re not done here, pretty girl,” Haechan taunts, his hand moving to your clit to pick up where he left off in rubbing quick, tight circles, and your sharp moan of surprise spurs you back into action, your hips lifting back up as you resume riding him, both of you wordlessly agreeing to keep an ear out for Yena.

His free hand moves from your hip to slide up your shirt, pinching, tweaking, and tugging at your nipple, the added stimulation too much for you to handle as your breathing picks up, quiet but desperate whines and pants of Haechan’s name and swears falling freely from your lips while your climax washes over you in waves, each rush more powerful than the one before it.

Shortly after you hit your peak, Haechan’s shuddered groan from behind you lets you know he’s coming right after you, his length twitching as he pulls your hips down, stuffing himself inside of your wet warmth fully and moaning as he releases inside of you, his legs trembling under you as his climax runs its course. Only when he’s sure he’s finished cumming does Haechan ease you off of his length, trying (and failing) to contain the appreciative moan that threatens to slip out when he catches a glimpse of your bare folds, glistening with a mix of his and your releases.

“So much for ‘that can’t happen again,’” Haechan chuckles as you both pull your pants back up.

“…Okay, but it really can’t this time.” You say seriously, turning to look at him, and he raises an eyebrow as he steps closer to you, tucking a finger under your chin and tilting your head up.

“How about that rule starts tomorrow? Come hang out with me in my room.” Haechan says in a suggestive murmur, smiling as your conflicted expression turns pensive.

“What are we doing in your room?” You ask slowly, and he shrugs.

“I’m gonna play more video games,” He says honestly, and you scoff lightly, rolling your eyes at his blatantly honest answer. “However, if I look over at my bed and there’s a very pretty girl lying there with a very pretty pussy for me to eat–”

“Haechan–” You protest immediately, cringing with a grimace at his crass language, but you can’t deny that something inside of you just stirred at the notion of Haechan’s head between your legs.

“–then maybe I’ll just have to do something about that,” Haechan continues on as if you hadn’t said a word, locking eyes with you and raising his eyebrows expectantly.

“…Maybe.” You answer after thinking about it, and Haechan grins triumphantly. “I’m gonna shower first, though. If I feel up to it when I’m all done, then…yeah. Starting tomorrow, though, no more fucking around—literally.” You say seriously, poking his chest with one finger, and he shrugs with a devilish little grin.

“No promises.” He’s turning and heading off to his room before you can even get a word in edgewise, causing you to huff in agitation and head off to your room to get ready for your shower, in which you contemplate whether or not you should go to Haechan’s room after you get out.

(You do, in fact, go to Haechan’s room. You also, in fact, decide to sit on his bed and watch as he plays some game on his computer. Maybe you space out a couple of times while he’s playing because you’re staring at his hands and the way his fingers move across the keyboard and the way his veins flex and tense under his skin, and maybe you don’t.

Maybe at one point, Haechan finds his eyes wandering over to you more often than not, and maybe, when he ultimately gets kicked from the game for being idle, he takes the opportunity to make good on his word and remind you of what it feels like to have his head between your legs.)

i hope you liked part one! part two is already written and will be up in exactly a week! again, if you enjoyed the fic, please consider tipping me here or here!

---