And Then What If Arthur Is Also Queer And Dealing With Another Mess Of Emotions - Tumblr Posts

As much as I appreciate the trope of it being the 30's and Arthur explaining homophobia and John just being like why the actual hell is that a rule it makes no sense

I feel like there's an untapped well for whump in which John, who is canonically "fluid" with his orientation, makes some remark about a man being attractive, or even just absentmindedly doing something romantic in regards to Arthur, and Arthur just

Freezes

He goes so still, and on the blurry frontier where their minds overlap as seamlessly as their bodies, John can feel something has gone wrong. He tries to ask, tries to wonder at what he possibly could have done to provoke such a base, almost fearful reaction from his friend. All he gets is a verbal lash, and a stilted explanation that it is wrong to feel that way about another man, that it is a sickness, that it has no place in decent society

And as John lets the unexpected fire simmer down into its usual glowing coal, dread caves in on him

Is there truly ways to love incorrectly? Each time a quick thought about a passing stranger's face pops into his head, he feels the weight of that knowledge closing in, settling like tar around the black space that he has tentatively called his heart

The fact that love, the thing which played such a role in his journey, with all its struggles, to humanity, can be wrong

The fact that he is doing it wrong

Should he not be telling Arthur that he loves him?

Should Arthur not be returning the sentiment?

What's the difference, he wonders (to himself, as has become custom in these matters) between the man and woman walking down the street, their hands entwined, their smiles glittering, and the two men walking shoulder to shoulder, trading stoic glances and monotone jests

Are there other ways to love wrong?

Are there other ways he could be human incorrectly, could warp something he wishes to cradle between his own two hands like a young flower into something twisted, indecent, sick?

If he can't grasp the wrongness behind this, what is there to stop him from failing to grasp the wongness behind other things, behind other bits and pieces of humanity, so rare and hard earned, protected in the ether of his place in Arthur's mind

Basically, what if the 30's actually 30's-ed, and despite his distain for religion, Arthur still held the firm belief that being queer was a perversion and an illness?

And John fell somewhere in that umbrella?