Andiamsickofbeingblamedforthingsididnotdo - Tumblr Posts
self-proclaimed and diagnosed is just another way to say 'fucked up'
I am a self-proclaimed bitch, a know-it-all fucking jackass of a person that obnoxious motherfucker you wish would just go away. Any name you can think of to call me I’ve probably called myself. My friend walked up to me the other day and told me I was a bitch but ‘that was just my personality’ and I just smiled and laughed, said 'I warned you when you became friends with me, everyone knows I’m a bitch’ so I didn’t start crying.
Some girl tried to pick a fight with me because her friend was upset about something I did (how dare she be mad without knowing the full story, without knowing what her friend had done to me. How dare she come charging up like a knight in shining armour except in this story the dragon is secretly the princess who’s been trapped in an ugly body by society’s expectations; don’t kill the dragon we all shout except knights don’t listen so she killed the dragon anyway and was confused when there was no princess to save) and she tried to pick a fight by calling me a bitch and a terrible person and telling me I should just go die because I didn’t deserve to live and I just smiled and laughed and agreed with her with everything she said.
It’s hard to pick a fight with someone who agrees with what you’re saying. She called me a bitch and told me to die and I said I know but I didn’t say that I’d tried because telling people you want to die is the moral equivalent of kicking them while they’re down; it just makes them feel guilty so they halt and try to reverse the train with fake apologies.
Trains don’t go in reverse anyway so I let her words barrel over me and took all the blame that I didn’t deserve onto myself and said I’d let myself cry later, when everyone was out of sight.
Nobody likes to see a bitch cry. It reminds them of their humanity and the fact that yes we are all people and inside that person you say is less than a person, the one you call a bitch and terrible and say that 'I guess they can’t help it, some people are just natural mother fuckers who need to be put down and taught a lesson’ yeah the person you say that to is exactly that a person.
I’m a person but no one will believe me so instead I say I’m a self-proclaimed bitch. That way when people tell me things about myself they think they’re the first person to notice, I can smile and laugh and then I can destroy them for hurting me because that’s what bitches do.
This sword works two ways; when you tell someone they are less than a person they will believe you. You can demean them and unmercifully beat them down but you had better not turn your back, better keep one eye open when you sleep because less than human means I will have no qualms about destruction.
Your weapon is my humanity and you in your unwillingness to unlock my chains have given me the tools to render my cage obsolete.