Angst Galore - Tumblr Posts

treemina and the tortured poets department you have consumed my thoughts

🌷Was eating a shawarma when I thought of this so why not. Hehe.

💫🌷I miss you•°

[SCHNKXG sent you a message.]

Your phone vibrated with a notification, you put your pen down on the table and picked up your phone. A smile curved on your face as you read Sucheon's message.

"SCHNKXG: I miss you."

You sent him a reply before turning off you phone and continuing with your work. He sent another message, you picked up your phone again.

"SCHNKXG: I'm gonna call, I can't stand it anymore."

You chuckled reading his text before replying. "Okay :)."

Your phone rang and vibrated as soon as he called, you answered. "Hi Sucheon." You smiled. "Hi, I miss you- Wait... Sucheon? What happened to Suchy?" He asked, his brows slightly furrowed. "Oh my bad. Hi Suchy." "...Better."

You leaned your phone against your pencil holder and continued studying, and Sucheon silently watched you doing so.

"Suchy, I can hear the shutter sound of the screenshots you're taking."

"What screenshots?" He asked, clearly playing dumb and his ears are giving it away with how red they are.

You couldn't help but laugh with how he tried to deny it even if he knew that you already saw right through him. He loves how your laugh sounded, its such a sweet sound of happiness to his ears... And your smile? Call him delusional or in a hallucination but he swears he sees a light yellow aura radiating from you whenever a genuine smile curves on your face. Everything felt lighter and calmer whenever you're around, everything looked much more colorful and vibrant in his eyes, You're ethereal to him. His source of warmth. Who would've thought that you, a non-awakener would be someone deeply loved by him?

As deep as he loved you, the pain in his heart was just as deep as it too. The tears streaming down his face felt warm... But not the kind of warmth he liked, no. It's not your warmth. He's even unsure whether he'd view the feeling of warmth the same after this. He hated everything that's happening right now, he loathed it.

"What's taking so long, Sucheon? Don't tell me you've fallen hard for a pathetic non-awakener." Supil glared at his own son. "It's Baekdu, or them."

Sucheon's hand trembled, his breathing unstable and more tears streamed down his face. Choosing Baekdu means He'll lose you and betray himself. Choosing you, means He'll betray Baekdu and lose everything he worked for, Baekdu is dear to him. But not dearer than you. And he knew that, he knew he will always choose you.

But if Sucheon chose you, both of you would be killed. Afterall, the act of betrayal makes you a traitor. And what do people mostly do with traitors? Kill them. Be it physically or figuratively. What is Sucheon there for if he's no longer the heir? But what would people make of Baekdu if their heir left for a non-awakener? Who would take over Baekdu in the future if Sucheon is dead?

You raised your hand and pointed a makeshift gun at him with your fingers. "You're not the only one with a gun now, Suchy. Don't be afraid to shoot me." You softly smiled at him, knowing that either-way... It's you who'll wind up dead.

This is the first time Sucheon ever hated your smile and the warmth it brings him. How could you still smile at him when he's pointing a fucking gun at you? How could you smile at him when he's about to kill you? Stop smiling please... I don't want to remember your smile like this. Please. My dearest please. PLEASE STOP SMILING! LOOK AT ME WITH HATRED!

Baekdu or you...? Baekdu or...

Sucheon dropped the gun and for the first time in his life, he knelt down to the floor and begged. Begging to spare you, begging to let you live and he will ended things with you. Supil however, only looked at his son with a mixed expression. Is it disgust? Dissapointment? Dismay? It's not known. Yet it screams pity. Pity for his son that fell hopelessly in love with someone who isn't even an awakener like them. Pity that his son was this soft.

"I miss you." Sucheon softly sobbed, Looking at the photo of you in his phone. Regretting and wishing that you died in his hands instead of his fathers. Maybe your death wouldn't have been so painful. "I miss you." The tears streaming down his cheeks were warm... he hated it. He hated its warmth. He hated how it reminded him of you.