Aniexty - Tumblr Posts

For those like me

For most of my life, I have been criticized about the people I look up too. It’s always “that person is not a good example” or “there are better people to look up too“ and I’ve even been told that “oh no, you can’t look up to them! They’re your age, try setting your sights higher.” And up until a couple of months ago I thought that it was true and I had a terrible habit of choosing people to look up too. Now I realize that I can look up to who ever I want to. And along with that, I realized that I don’t even have to look up to only one person, I can look up to many people for their different qualities. Some examples for people I wish to be like include

1. Adele, Halsey, and Bea Miller. They are absolute goddesses for singing and I wish that my voice can sound just as amazing and beautiful as theirs do. That doesn't mean that I approve all of their choices, but I still look up to them for singing aspirations.

2. J.R.R Tolkien, J.K. Rowling, and Alexander Hamilton. For Tolkien and Rowling, I look up to them because of the way they were able to create worlds in their heads that have effected the entire world. Their ideas and thoughts have changed the way the world sees things, which is something I would love to do with my writing. And for Alexander Hamilton, if only I had a fraction his ambition and will to write as much as he did, wow I could do so much. Now, do I look up to Hamilton as a writer, yes. That doesn't mean I am going to cheat on my wife and write almost 100 pages about it then print it so everyone knows. But I can still look up to him.

3. Chris Evans, Jared Padalecki, and Robin Williams. Chris and Jared are 2 actors that I truly look up to. They are in the top 5 people I look up to in general. I love Chris for his ability to fight anxiety while being an amazing actor. The idea of him dealing and living his live with something I also suffer from has on multiple occasions helped me get through the day. Same with Jared, as he suffers from depression and still manages to live a great life. Jared especially has helped me get through my relapses where I wanted to disappear and never come back. I have never even met them, but they have helped me so much in my life. As for Robin Williams, I always watched him in Night at the Museum when I went to my grandparents house, it was one of my favorite things to do. I always loved his character, so years later when I figured out that he had committed suicide, I hated it. He had played some of my favorite characters from movies, Teddy Roosevelt, the Genie, the guy from Jumanji, etc., and I absolutely despised the idea of never being able to listen to his voice, or see his face in any other movie ever again. And as I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, I came to respect him more than I ever did when I was younger. That man had had lasted so long with depression while doing movies and being a big part of my childhood. So if he can do that, so can I.

4. My friends, Hannah, Emily, and another Hannah. The first Hannah is one of my best friends that I’ve had since I was about 1 1/2.  She has always been a put together person, she is always dressed nice or cute, all her homework is done, she has all A’s, all the parents love her, and all the guys at school are falling down at her feet. While I will admit, yes I am a little jealous, I hope that I can at least be more organized, more put together in the future than I am now. I love her so much, and I want only the best things for her, I just hope that I get a little luck and get a little bit of her personality rubbed off on me. My friend Emily is some one who I play volleyball with. She has been playing for years and is an amazing middle blocker, which is my positon usually. She is someone I watch during practice so I can learn from her, become a better player and maybe reach a level higher than she is now. She’ s super nice, super friendly and get nervous during a game, just like me. And I hate it that I can't just tell her how much I look up to her, and how amazing she is. It's super frustrating. And last but not least, my other friend Hannah. She is my best friends older sister, so she’s like a big sister to me, but I’ve always looked up to her. She’s extremely head strong, when she wants something, she will get it. She makes decisions and never thinks twice about them. She’s going into college this year and she’s going to be a nurse. She’s a all round great person that I feel like I can talk to about anything. She’s absolutely amazing and I love her so much. I’m not excited that she’s leaving for college, but I know she will do great. 

I have many more role models, which if I were to write them all, it would have written a book. But for all the people that have the same criticism as me and have to defend why you look up to someone, it’s doesn't matter. If you look up to someone, then do so. If you like one quality in a person, then look up to them for that quality. It doesn't matter if you look up to your uncle or aunt because of their athletic talent, but hate that they’re sexist. Or maybe you look up to an actor or actress because of their ability to preform, but they smoke or something. It's even ok if you don't look up to the person, but admire a quality of theirs. Maybe you like that they are firm on their beliefs, even if you don't agree with them. It's ok to pick and chose what parts of a person you look up to or like. No one loves a person without disliking one habit or thing about them. You can love a person but dislike something they do or have done. It's ok to love the sinner, but hate the sin.

As she does every year, my wonderful mum has made me a themed birthday cake. This year is Yuri on Ice themed. I'm wheezing! Look at what she wrote!!#yurionice #bestmumever #birthday #birthdaycake #aniexty #yurikatsuki #sheknowsmewell #dying