Bamf!stede - Tumblr Posts

I need more bamf! Stede Bonnet content and if I can't find it I guess I just have to start making it.

(BTW does anyone want a fic rec post, I have collected around 50 at this point, need to sort it out.)

This is an anti-creampuff-ification of Stede Bonnet account. Yes, he is nice but Stede is also insane. He clearly has the eyes of a madman. The most fearsome pirate that ever lived is his soulmate and he regularly impresses this guy with how unhinged he can be. He reads bedtime stories to bloodthirsty pirates, among whom is one who openly talks about his cannibalistic inclinations. Another of his crew was raised by a murderous nun to be god’s perfect killing machine. This is Stede’s found family and he is perfectly aware of these facts about them. Stede ran himself through on Izzy Hand’s sword to win a duel and he smirked as he manipulated a bunch of poncy nobles into setting their own ship on fire. He felt completely at home in Spanish Jackie’s bar until they actively attacked him to get him to leave and he screamed FUCK at the top of his lungs while trying to find the right inspiration to scare the shit out of a bunch of Dutch merchants then SUCCEEDED at scaring the everloving shit out of Blackbeard accidentally in the process. His only notes on Blackbeard’s crew going on a murder spree to demonstrate how to capture a ship was to appreciate their gusto and the efficiency of not missing the chance to rip the gold teeth out of a dead man’s mouth.

And yes, this is the same man who thought making a turtle fight a crab was mean, because he has standards. Very, very unhinged standards. He is a walking contradiction of genteel upbringing and an unabashed craving for a violent life of crime, like a duck raised by chickens discovering the water. All in all, I find this very sexy of him and in the privacy of my brain I will be fighting to the death anyone who tries to morph him into a sweet inoffensive cinnamon bun who is too good for this world, too pure.