Bon Ryuji - Tumblr Posts
I have so many feels about Rin & they are Not Happy & I simply must share them
So like, minor spoilers but I’m on mobile so I can’t put a read more because that one trick never works for me so you’ve been warned
But after the class finds out about his powers & everything, they start acting different around him, some more than others. At first they’re very obviously terrified of him & try to avoid him at all costs. They kind of start to warm back up to him, but it’s a consistent issue. They stop sitting next to him in class and talk to him less. If he moves too suddenly they’ll gasp or flinch away.
It’s ongoing for months and months afterwards & the longer it goes on, the more it starts to affect Rin. He feels more like an outsider each & every day. Even Yukio is distant & treats him like some wild animal that could snap at any moment. Izumo and Shima act the most normal but he still notices how they keep at least a body’s distance away from him most of the time. & he’s definitely noticed that they don’t really touch him anymore. No high fives, fist bumps, hair ruffles or hugs. Really the only ones who touch him are Kuro & Shura during training.
At first he tries to convince himself it doesn’t bother him, but how can it not? This is the first real friend group he’s had & they treat him like a ticking bomb. As time goes on, he becomes more subdued, less angry, less him. Instead, all the energy he put into flaring up & being angry turns to sadness. He’s exhausted from failing his training & having to put effort into pretending to be energetic & happy.
Shura’s the first to pick up on it because he’s not as spunky during his training, but she just thinks he’s finally starting to take things seriously & calculate his moves instead of just rushing in. But when she compliments him on a job well done he just mumbles a quick thanks. Shiemi & Izumo notice something’s fishy with him next but Shiemi is too shy to bring it up & Izumo doesn’t care enough to ask him about it.
It takes Yukio a surprisingly long time before he notices that something’s off about Rin. He’s busy with his own school work as well as teaching & when it comes to his brother, he focuses more on keeping him in check than making sure he’s doing ok.
Yukio does start to get concerned when Rin takes an hour long shower & hears him singing “You’ve had a bad day, you’re taking one down. You sing a sad song just to turn it around” over & over. Not the song itself, only that one line. On repeat for an hour. When he steps out he’s like “Uh you feeling okay?” & Rin just brushes it off saying that’s the only line he could remember from that song.
After they’re sent away when the whole eye thing happened, it just gets worse, especially after his flare up. After that he just gets worse, and it becomes nearly impossible not to notice. His eyes are dull & downcast, and he walks slowly shuffling his feet. His tail never wags, the most is does is twitch if someone cracks a joke. He starts to lose sleep because all he can think about is how no one trusts him, not even himself and questions whether he can consider any of them a friend. He never smiles anymore, at least not genuinely. And you can forget about laughing all together. He only gives out weak insincere chuckles when everyone else is laughing so it doesn’t look too suspicious.
Being locked in that cell isn’t the only time he wondered if it would be better for everyone if he died. If he just gave up during a fight or let the Vatican execute him. He doesn’t dare share this thought. But all the other thoughts need to be released. To hear some input from someone else. But he knows he couldn’t possibly tell anyone... at least no one human. Kuro is the only one who he feels like they truly care for him and doesn’t fear him. That’s when he starts to never leave his side because his new master needs a friend he can count on!
When he finally starts to consistently master his flames, he’s not even excited about it anymore. That’s when Shura knows it’s gotten really bad. This sassy, spunky little punk is just a husk of who he really is. She tries to confront him about it to see what’s wrong & he snaps at her, flaring up slightly before just... fizzling out.
It gets so bad that even fucking Mephisto notices that something’s up with the son of Satan. & not the fun to watch kind of something either.
His only emotions become anger, empty sadness, stress, and forced/fake happiness. & then the trouble with his sword starts. It doesn’t only stem from his self doubt, but from the rejection from his friends and brother and the depression that he’s found himself in.
By the end of season 2 he’s in a much better place but still not where he needs to be & still forces himself to be over the top happy & goofy most of the time. What Yukio tells him still really bothers him especially since his opinion is the one that matters the most to him. & even tho he knows his friends are just teasing him, it still hurts to be constantly reminded that he’s the son of Satan & a powerful demon instead of just a normal kid.