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Bret Easton Ellis does The Baby-Sitters Club
As a young bookworm who spent a lot of time travelling in cars, I inhaled any book that was near me. It was one of my better coping mechanisms. One series that I read obsessively (before dropping without a second thought) was The Babysitters Club aka BSC if you were cool.
As in the style of all vanilla-flavoured American pop-culture, BSC is mostly about the unique struggles of a bunch of perky (one day, God will unleash a plague of caffeine-deprived zombies and they will only eat the perky people. I hate "perky" people) bland, whiny, determined middle-class white people who have a few quirky ethnic friends that still manage to fit into their respective stereotypes. For example, Claudia Kishi fits into the All-Asians-Look-Good-In-Any-Whacked-Out-Shit stereotype. There is a fabulous website dedicated to her clothing choices. She is an early 80's/late 90's Asian Lady Gaga with a sugar problem and I heart her enormously.
God, I love racism. It's some of the best fun you can have.
Anyway, a genius named Drew Grant has decided to rewrite the series in the style of Bret Easton Ellis, thus making the series readable again. We now receive gems like the following:
There is nothing more depressing than coming home after last bell at StoneyBrook High, trying to get my room in order for the Baby-Sitters’ Club meeting, and then realizing that you really don’t even give a shit anymore. Like, sorry that you have diabetes Stacey, but do we have to spend half the afternoon discussing it? And yeah, it really bums me out to watch Claudia just snort up half those Pixie Stixs when she is so blatantly trying to get attention to her sugar problem, but every time we try to talk to her about it she says she needs it to focus on her art and that her super-strict Asian parents are coming down on her ass again so what’s the point, really? This whole club is really getting to be a drag but whatever, I started the project and I just know that bitch Marci is waiting for me to like, drop the ball on this whole thing so she can pick up all the money and maybe Mary-Anne’s boyfriend Logan as a nice “fuck you too” perk
Good shit! Now this is what a bunch of pre-teens are thinking.
I've spent a chunk of the afternoon reading this while listening to Lady Gaga. Totally upgraded my mood. Try it. First Bret Easton Ellis does BSC chapter is here, chapter two is here, and it shouldn't take more than a few brain cells to find chpater 3
