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It takes two - Y.JH

Summary: 

Being with Jeonghan has always been easy and a dream come true. But lately, having to deal with being alone with your 6 year old and having a full-time job has started to be very tiring. You don’t want to burden Jeonghan but you don’t know how much longer you can hold it in. Maybe surprising him on tour will help.

Wordcount: 4.9k

Warnings: not many, dad!jeonghan on tour and nonidol mom! reader, angst, fluff, happy ending, reader has some fears and anxiety, suggestive but not explicit smut

Requested: yes, here

P.S - Italic is for thoughts mainly from the characters’ perspective and quotes. Bold is for text messages/calls/voice messages between characters

Your relationship with Jeonghan has always been stable over the years. Sure, like all relationships, you’ve had ups and downs. But the ups and the happiness you shared when you’re together has always overshadowed anything else that might have tried to break you two apart.

You’ve always known from the beginning what it meant being in a relationship with an idol. And, let’s be truthful, you wouldn’t go through it for anyone else but him. 

It was difficult in the beginning. Having to hide, pretend you were single for the most part. Always meeting at weird hours in the night so he wouldn’t be followed. But every time he walked through the door of your apartment, all those worries and annoyances disappeared. 

It had always been like that. One look at his face. The way he always smiled when he first saw you, and you were done. Nothing else mattered. You would push through anything for this man. You knew that from the very first day. And you knew he felt the same way. There’s no way this low energy angel would have done as much as he did for you if he didn’t feel the exact same way.

You met him 8 years ago. Married him a year after that. A ‘whirlwind romance’ everyone had called it. Almost a year after that, your son was born. He looked so much like Jeonghan. You were thankful for that. At least whenever Jeonghan needed to be away from you, you would have this little angel to look at and hopefully ease the pain in your chest from missing Jeonghan so much.

Over the years it has gotten worse. The pain. And missing him. Yes, you knew what you signed up for but it doesn’t mean it has gotten easier to deal with. 

If anything, it has gotten harder. Every time he has to leave. And you have to explain to your son every night why his dad isn’t home and won’t be able to call that night. And if that isn’t enough, you still have to deal with the hate from certain ‘fans’ who will forever want you gone from Jeonghan’s life.

It has gotten worse for your son too. The older he gets, the more he understands what’s going on around him. Which means, the more he misses his dad whenever he’s not around. The more he notices when you get a snide comment thrown at you in public.

Hanbin used to be more understanding of Jeonghan leaving when he was younger. Or maybe time passed by more quickly for him then. Lately, he has not been as understanding and it has been taking a toll on you.

Having a full-time job and a young boy to take care of started to feel like too much for you. You always knew that being a single mom was hard but man, it’s much harder than you ever thought. 

And then you feel guilty. ‘Single mom’. That’s not what you are. But sometimes, it sure feels like it. 

The rational side of you knows you need to talk to Jeonghan about it but burdening him with your worries and fears is something you can’t do. He already feels guilty enough every time he has to leave you two. You can’t add to that.

Today at work you got a call from Hanbin’s school. This has never happened before. Your boy has always been the sweetest, gentlest soul. You used to say his face was all Jeonghan but his soul was all Joshua. The perfect combination. 

You left work and picked up Hanbin from school. You apologized to the teacher and made him apologize to the other boy he had hurt during recess. You did not get back to the office. You decided you needed some time with him. You weren’t the only one hurting from Jeonghan’s recent departure for tour.

You were going to take him to the amusement park 45 minutes away. It was his favorite and you wanted to make him happy today. Even if he misbehaved, this wasn’t like him and you knew that.

“Binnie, let’s go to the amusement park, yeah?” you asked him as you started to drive away from the school.

You noticed when you looked in the rearview mirror he was looking at you suspiciously.

“What? Don’t trust your mom, now? Talk to me, baby” you had told him.

“I was bad. Why are we going to my favorite park if I was bad?” he asked you.

“Because I know you, Hanbin. This is not like you. And I know why you did it. I miss your dad too, you know?” you asked him.

“He said something about you” he said quietly.

“Who did, Binnie? The boy you pushed?” 

“Yes. Why does everyone say good things about dad but they always say bad things about you?” he asked you. He didn’t fully understand what it meant being an idol and he definitely didn’t understand the consequences of marrying one. You wanted to try and explain as best as you could.

“Your dad is loved by a lot of people, Binnie. He always was. From a very young age. He is an artist in the public eye and that’s not easy here. 7 years ago he had to tell them he met the love of his life. Most people were happy for him. But some… They didn’t like that. Which meant immediately, they didn’t like me. I’m sorry you have to hear them talk about me that way, baby” you told him sincerely.

“I will always protect you, mom. They don’t matter” he said and he seemed to be a bit lighter. Less worried and annoyed. Good.

Hanbin ended up falling asleep after that conversation and you only woke him up once you reached the park. You had a wonderful afternoon together. 

When you got home, things were good. You were waiting for Jeonghan’s call. He hasn’t been able to call you and Hanbin in the last few days with their busy schedules and the time difference but he promised you and your son he would call tonight. 

When it started getting late, you knew. There would be no call tonight. You also knew Hanbin had been looking forward to this for a long time. You’re going to have to be the messenger and you already know this is not going to go well.

You turned to your son who was already falling asleep on the couch.

“Binnie, time for bed. You have school tomorrow. It’s getting late”

He looked at you angrily. ‘Here we go again’ you thought.

“No. He promised. I’m not going to bed. No. No!” he started to shout at you and you could see he was starting to tear up. So were you.

“I know, baby. You know dad’s schedule is not easy. He will call when he can. You know that” you tried calming him down and keep your tears at bay.

“No, no, no, no. Why? He promised! HE PROMISED!” he shouted and started to cry. You moved to hug him on the couch and you sat there together for a few minutes. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed, yeah? You can sleep with me tonight, Binnie” you whispered to him as you tried to calm him.

“You’ll call him tomorrow, right? Tell him I’m mad. He broke his promise” he asked you.

“I will, baby” you told him and you started getting your son ready for bed.

Once he was fully asleep on your bed, you decided to make a couple of phone calls. First one to Jeonghan. He didn’t pick up. You knew that would be the case so you left a message:

“Hey, Hannie. You didn’t call tonight and Binnie is really sad. We understand your schedules are hard but don’t promise something you can’t keep. You know he takes promises very seriously. I hope you are okay. Please, call me back when you have time. I don’t care about the time. Just call me. Please. Stay safe. I love you”

Second call was to Seungcheol. No answer. Makes sense so again you left another message:

“Hey, Cheolie. I was wondering where you guys are going next and when. I wanted to see if it would be okay for me and Binnie to surprise Jeonghan. Talk to whomever you need to talk to and let me know. Thank you. Stay safe!”

After leaving both messages, you got ready for bed and joined your son.

You woke up a few hours later with your phone ringing. You silenced it as soon as you reached over so Hanbin wouldn’t wake up and you left the bedroom to answer the call.

“Hey, angel. Did I wake you? Sorry, you told me to call back so… I shouldn’t have though” Jeonghan said on the other side of the line.

“Hey… No, I’m glad you did. How are you?” you asked in a hushed tone as you sat down on the living room couch.

“I’m okay… How are you? You don’t sound good, baby” he told you and you were holding back tears at this point. You didn’t want him to hear you cry but you just missed him so much. These last few days have been so difficult.

“I’m… Okay… Binnie has been a bit difficult in the last few days but we’re hanging in there” you told him in your best fake voice.

There was silence on the other side. And after a few seconds, he finally spoke.

“I’m sorry… I know it must be hard being alone with him and with your job” was all he said. But what else could have he said? You were so tired… So, so tired…

You were ashamed of yourself, but in these weak moments you have thought about divorce. This was hard. Too hard. It wasn’t about love. It was about needing a partner with you all the way. You have always struggled with anxiety but it has stayed dormant for many years. Until now. All of those feelings were back. You felt like you were drowning sometimes, like you couldn’t breathe.

“We know it’s not easy for you either” was all you said before tears started streaming down your face. You were doing your best to stay silent, for him not to hear your pain. You don’t want him to feel worse.

“I’ll call you guys tomorrow. I promise. No matter what. Tell Binnie I’m sorry about tonight, please” he told you and you could tell in his voice he was as sad as you at this very moment.

“I will… He’ll understand. He always forgives you as soon as he gets a glimpse of you, you know that. I have to go now but I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?” 

“Of course, go rest, baby. I love you…” he said and the tears were flowing faster now.

“I love you too, Hannie…” you told him before you hung up the call.

You went to bed but you could barely get any sleep that night.

You went through your morning routine with Hanbin, dropped him off at school and went to work. You had talked to him in the morning and you explained everything to him and told him tonight they would be able to see and speak to Jeonghan. 

Hanbin went to school happy. That’s all that mattered in that moment.

As you were getting ready to leave work and pick up Hanbin, you got a text from Seungcheol.

“Sorry, Y/N. We were so busy yesterday, I couldn’t pick up but absolutely yes. Please. I already talked to our manager, he’s going to call you about the details but join us. He misses you both terribly and he’s a pain in the ass when you’re not around. Tell Binnie his favorite uncle has a gift for him!”

It made you smile. Seungcheol always knew what to say to make you feel better even if he didn’t know you weren’t feeling your best.

Before you left work, you went to your boss’s office to request time off. You never did this anyway. You had barely taken any time off this year. 

You couldn’t wait to pick up Hanbin and tell him you were going to join Jeonghan on tour. He was going to be so excited. You would have to adjust the details with his school but again, you had never taken him out of school before so you were sure it would be okay.

When you two got home, you couldn’t stop smiling and your son knew something was different.

“Mom, what are you hiding? Tell meeee” he said also smiling now.

“Well… I have a secret… Can you keep a secret, Binnie? Between you and me, only? No telling dad?” you asked him as you started helping him into a bath.

“Promise. And you know what promises mean to me, mom” he told you seriously.

“I don’t know when yet but we are going to go see dad on tour for a few days. Only if you want to, of course, if you don’t–”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! I can’t wait, we’re gonna have so much fun! I miss dad” he told you excitedly.

“I know, baby but we have to keep it a secret. It’s a surprise for your dad so you have to be my buddy and keep this between us, okay?” you asked him once he got in the bath.

“Yes, I’ll be so good. Dad won’t know anything” he said and started playing with his toys. You laughed and went to the kitchen to make dinner for the both of you.

After dinner, Jeonghan called as he promised. Hanbin was immediately over the broken promise and he was very good at keeping your secret. You let them have their moment and they stayed on the video call for a couple of hours before you could also talk to Jeonghan.

You talked for a bit but then you had to get Hanbin to bed so you had to hang up. 

You felt a bit better though. It was always like that. One look at him and things felt better already. 

The next day you got the call from their manager and you set everything up. You and Hanbin would be leaving in a week and you would stay with them on tour for a week as well. They found a time between two dates where you would have time to spend as a family and you are very grateful for everyone right now.

Finally, tomorrow you two are leaving to go meet Jeonghan. And tomorrow can’t come soon enough. Surprisingly, Hanbin’s behavior has been worse. He has been so excited to see Jeonghan that he barely sleeps. He has been throwing tantrums more often and you are back to feeling a bit hopeless. 

But it will all be okay, tomorrow you’ll meet Jeonghan and it will all be okay. 

Also, Hanbin has been creating a few gifts for their fans. He said he wants to surprise them and show that we are good. So that maybe they will change their minds about us. It’s funny. Never once did you include him in the explanation about the hate you get. You wanted it to be clear. You were the reason, not Hanbin. But your son will always protect you and he never wants you to feel alone. He’s way too smart for his age.

The next day, you are woken up by a very excited Hanbin. It was a bit too early but you knew there was no stopping this now. 

The company sent for a car and you would be escorted by them all the way to the boys. This part was nice. Not having to worry about being seen, touched by people you didn’t know. They would guarantee both your safety there and back.

The plane ride was a wild ride. Hanbin couldn’t sit still, he had so much energy, he just couldn’t contain his excitement and you joined him. You played games, watched movies, and ate good snacks. You were both so happy. In these moments, you felt guilty about some of your previous thoughts. You could never leave them. They were your everything.

After you landed, they took you to the hotel first so you could settle. The boys were already at the venue and all of them knew you two were coming except Jeonghan. You took a quick shower, got ready and made sure Hanbin had his gifts so that you could finally go to the venue.

You got to the venue and you both got led backstage to the common room where the boys were getting ready for the meet & greet. Your heart was beating so fast. You didn’t know why you were nervous but you were. 

Hanbin ran to the door and busted through the room way before you did. You could hear all the excitement from far away. Everyone sounded so happy together. You missed this. 

As you were getting close to the door, Jeonghan walked through it and he was looking around. Once he spotted you, he ran to you. He held you so tight. You wanted to cry but you didn’t. Hanbin came running after his dad and hugged you both.

“Hanbinnie, let your mom and dad have a moment. Come show uncle Shua the gifts you made for our carats!” Joshua told Hanbin and you were thankful, you needed a moment alone with Jeonghan.

Hanbin went back to Joshua and they both went into the room where again you could hear all the excited voices coming from.

Jeonghan pulled away from the hug and kissed you. Hard. He kissed you like he was going to lose you the next second. You missed him so much. Everything about him. The way he smells, the way he tastes, the way he makes you feel when you’re in his arms.

You two finally move away to breathe.

“I missed you so much, baby. Thank you for coming. I’m so happy you two are here. I was going crazy without you” he had told you and all you could do was nod.

You held him tight again and you just stood there in silence, holding each other until you had to join everyone else.

You still had some time before they had to go, so you all just stayed in the room. Most of the boys were focused on Hanbin and you and Jeonghan were focused on each other. Finally.

“We can have a giveaway for carats with your gifts, Hanbinnie. What do you think?” Hoshi asked Hanbin.

“It’s from me and mom. You have to say it’s from mom too. Not just me” he told Hoshi seriously.

The boys turned to look at you and you just told them ‘Later’ and they all understood you would explain later.

It was time for them to go and Hanbin asked if he could join them since the giveaway was from us. They all looked at you.

“What do you think?” Jeonghan asked you as he held your hand. 

You were nervous. You didn’t want your boy to receive any kind of hate. It was something you alone would have to bear for your small family. Jeonghan could sense your hesitation and he knew why.

“I’ll keep him safe, promise. It’ll be okay. He’s a charmer, they’ll fall in love with him right away” he said as he smiled at you to comfort you.

“Okay. Binnie, be good. Follow everyone’s rules, please” you had told your son. He gave you a thumbs up and held Hoshi’s hand. 

“Come with us, hmm, baby?” Jeonghan asked you.

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Not yet” you told him sincerely.

“Love, it’s been 7 years since we told the world. They are the ones that need to adapt, not us. We did nothing wrong. Come with me, please. Just for the giveaway. You know Binnie would love that too” he told you as he squeezed your hand.

You wanted to join him, you did. But you started to think about the last time that happened. About the looks of hate and disgust and you just can’t. You’re not ready.

“I came here for you, Jeonghan. Not them. I know we did nothing wrong but I can’t deal with it right now. I’m… I’m not ready” you told him and you hoped he would understand.

You didn’t want to tell him your anxiety has been back and worse than ever. This was all you could tell him right now. You hoped he would understand. And he did.

You decided to ask some members of the team to help you sit in a place in the arena where no one could see you. You wanted to see the boys in their element and you wanted to see Hanbin as well.

They led you to an empty spot and no one could see you but you could see them perfectly. Hanbin and Jeonghan were holding hands and were so happy. You made the right choice. They started announcing the giveaway and Hanbin was gesturing to speak. Oh. This could go very wrong.

“Hi, carats! My name is Hanbin. This is my dad. He’s cool. But my mom is also very cool. She helped me make these gifts for you and we’re going to give them to you now but you have to earn it!” your son said and everyone started laughing and clapping.

Jeonghan was right. Everyone loved him. He sounded so grown up when he spoke to the crowd. You were so proud of him.

Everything went great. They had the giveaway and the meeting continued after that but you went back to get Hanbin. He was so excited and happy. He kept saying he is sure people will love you now. What an amazing little human you created.

Everything else went perfect. You had some food together, you watched the concert with Hanbin and in the end he was happy and so tired.

You went backstage to join everyone and to tell everyone good night. You had to go back to the hotel and get Hanbin to bed but when Hanbin woke up he must have thought you were taking him home and he started yelling and crying.

He jumped from your lap and ran towards the boys. He started saying you were mean and a lot of other things that you knew he didn’t mean but you’ve reached your boiling point and you did something you have never done before.

“Enough, Hanbin! Enough! No more tantrums! Stop!” you yelled.

You yelled at your son. Loud. Very loud. Everyone was staring at you.This was very out of character for you, they were all confused. Except Hanbin. Hanbin was crying and holding onto Jeonghan tightly. 

“Hey, Binnie. Look at dad. I have an idea. What about you have a sleepover with your uncles, huh? You can stay up late and play some games. What do you think?” Jeonghan had lowered himself to his son’s height and was trying to calm him down.

“Really?” Hanbin asked back at him.

Jeonghan looked around at the boys and they all agreed happily. 

Suddenly, Hanbin seems to have forgotten all about your offense. He is leaving happily with Seungcheol, Joshua, Seungkwan and Hoshi and the rest of the boys follow them out. 

“I think we need to talk, love. I don’t know what’s going on with you but I want to” he told you and you started to cry.

He held your hand and led you towards the exit. This wouldn’t be a conversation to have here.

You got to your hotel room and you were still crying. He looked so worried. This was something you never wanted. But at the same time, you’re so tired. You’re exhausted.

“Talk to me, baby” he told you as he sat down next to you on the bed.

“I’m just exhausted, Jeonghan. I knew what I signed up for when we got together and I knew what was going to happen when we got married and had children but I’m so exhausted. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this. The other day, at Hanbin’s school, another mom told me I almost seemed like a single mom the way I was always running to drop off and pick up Hanbin. That she never saw Hanbin’s dad around. She meant it as a joke but it didn’t feel like a joke. It was exactly how I felt. How I feel. I feel alone most of the time” you started telling him as you sobbed.

He didn’t say anything and you knew this was a sign for you to keep going.

“I know I chose this. I never wanted to hire any help. I just… I want a normal family. I know now that’s not possible at all and I have been stretching myself to make this work. I never wanted to be the mom with the nanny. Picking up the kids because I couldn’t. It’s my fault too but even when you’re home. You’re not? Most days you get home so late, we don’t even see you. We’ve accepted it as normal. I accepted it because I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want to burden you. I know how guilty you feel every time you leave us. I didn’t want to make it worse for you” you continued.

“But I can’t do this anymore. Something needs to change. I can’t keep feeling like I’m drowning, alone. You know I even thought about divorce” you said and he flinched away from you.

“I did. I thought about it. I already felt like a single mom. Maybe it would be for the best. You get to have your life, the way it always was. No guilt. No burden. You would be free” you told him and he also had tears running down his face now. You know you don’t really want this. You hope he knows this too.

“You think that’s what I want? You think losing you would make me feel free? Unburdened?” he asked you as he wiped his tears and your tears.

“The day I met you, you saved me. I was going through the motions but I wasn’t happy. I had a life everyone dreams of having but I felt empty. I am nothing without you. I am nothing without our family” he continued.

“I’m so sorry you’ve felt this way for this long. You should’ve told me. It takes two to make a marriage work. You are never burdening me. These last few weeks I’ve known something was wrong and you wouldn’t tell me. You know how frustrating that is? Wanting to help you but you won’t let me?” he asked you as he held your face and forced you to look into his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” you whispered.

“Don’t apologize. Never apologize for this. I had a suspicion of what was wrong. You know Cheol and Sara went through this exact same thing last year? She did to him exactly what you were doing to me. I know it’s hard being with us. Dealing with everything. But we need to talk. We need to communicate with each other about all of our worries. It’s the only way for this to work. We will find a solution for whenever I’m on tour. We just need to talk about it. As for the times I am home but overworking, I will talk to everyone about it and set boundaries for my schedule” he said and you interrupted him.

“No, Hannie. I don’t want you to sacrifice your work–”

“I won’t sacrifice you. Or our family. Cheol has done it too. Set schedule boundaries. The company understands. We’re not 22 anymore. We have families. We are husbands and fathers. We can’t work until 3 AM every night and tour for months without a break” he told you while looking into your eyes.

You felt so relieved. All the weight has been lifted from your shoulders. All you needed to do was talk to each other. You won’t make this mistake again, you know that much.

“You love me, baby?” he asked you as he licked his lips and stared at yours.

“I love you so fucking much… You love me, Hannie?” you answered and asked him right back.

He leaned in and whispered against your lips.

“You are everything”

He started to kiss you then and everything faded away. Nothing matters in this moment. Only you and him. Alone in this room. Loving each other. Desperately. Passionately. 

The rest of the week went by fast. You three spent most of the time together without anyone else. Exploring the city and having fun.

You were thankful this little angel had 12 uncles around that could distract him while you and Jeonghan had your alone time. 

The days were for the whole family. But the nights were for you and Jeonghan. Every night he made love to you. He made you feel exactly like what he had told you that day you finally talked. He made you feel like his everything.

You kept talking through the week and you had made a decision together. It was time to consider a part time nanny but also it was time for you to consider working less hours. You weren’t sure how your boss and company were going to take this but right now it doesn’t matter.

The only thing that matters is making sure you two will never have to go another day without telling each other and showing each other how much you love one another.

Because it takes two to make a marriage work, but it takes the three of you to make your heart complete.

Hey guys! I hope you guys enjoy this one. I hope I honored the request while still being able to add some of my vision! 😭😇 As usual, please let me know in the comments and such if you enjoyed reading it 💕 Thank you for supporting me! CHEERS 🥂