Cant Take This - Tumblr Posts

NO POOR BABIES DON’T CRY!!

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THIS?

this is getting out if hand for my poor heart.

there is a certain naive surety that comes with first love — first real love — and to you, lee seokmin epitomised it.

or, in other words: you once had an unwavering, unfaltering belief that the two of you would last forever.

you were wrong, of course. what you didn’t realise is that forever is much, much longer than initials carved in sand, encased in a heart, can last. that had been your favourite thing to do, back then, every time you visited the beach with his hand laced in yours. the waves had always washed the letters away by the time you left, but that had never disheartened you, in those days — you’d always been sure that you’d come back. that you’d be able to engrave your initials over and over, for the rest of time.

and now — now you have come back, but it’s you, singular, because there’s no effervescent laughter bubbling beside you. no slender fingers entwined with your own. no bright, beautiful smile to mirror with your own. instead, it’s you, hugging your arms around yourself to stave off the spring chills, remembering the last time you were here: when the sea was warmer and the boy beside you was warmer still.

people often described seokmin as the sun, and they were right, in some ways. he shone, brilliantly, like no one you’d met before, that was true — but he didn’t burn like the sun did. he didn’t blaze, he glowed. radiant, he was radiant; and maybe you embellish it a little, his figure faded at the edges with memory and tainted rose by the residue of love.

you’re thinking too hard, and you know it; you realise it when you jolt, because the wind brushes over your fingers. starved hearts are desperate, and yours can believe anything is a caress when you’re standing here. even the wind.

you taste salt on your tongue, and you think it’s the sea air, until you realise there’s wetness on your cheeks. there’s a soreness burning in your chest, too, hot and raw and tender. like a wound. (last time you were here, your heart ached for different reasons — happiness. euphoria.)

you’re not sure how long you stand there. only that at the end of it, the smallest shaft of sunlight leaks through a crack in the grey overhung clouds. it doesn’t even land on you, glinting on the water for the barest moment, but still, it feels like something seeps into you — solace. acceptance.

you think you might be able to go to the grave, next.

an / IM SORRY. (requested by @hannyoontify w/ the song prompt twenty five twenty one by jaurim and AHH i love this song sm thank u for requesting kie)

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