Carlisle X Esme - Tumblr Posts

i want - and need - a twilight spinoff entirely dedicated to carlisle. from his birth and life with his father, his transformation and attempts to kill himself to his acceptance of his condition and travels through europe where he learned medecine. who cares about bella and edward when there's a much better story RIGHT THERE. it would be an extension of the lore so it would be more fantastic and mythological but it could have romance if we get the story of him meeting esme and falling in love with her in details.

CARLISLE AS A SON OF APOLLO

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CARLISLE CULLEN, BRIDGERTON AU

✨TWILIGHT✨ in a nutshell…

Disco tampon fights dog with issues over walking crippling anxiety. Crippling anxiety doesn’t like dog with issues, but doesn’t wanna hurt dog with issues. So she hops between the two, but makes it clear, she likes the disco tampon. Crippled anxiety then finds out disco tampon, is in fact, a disco tampon! She’s like “ooh, so pretty! So cool! I wanna date you even more.”

Crippling anxiety meets disco tampon’s family, and expensive girl is like “WE BEST FRIENDS” while her boyfriend, blood constipation, can’t be around her cause he wants to do want tampons do and suck da blood.

Moody booty CanNOT stand crippling anxiety, and wants her to go away. (Same bestie, it’s tiring) Anyway! Moody Booty’s boyfriend, Gorilla Man is a lovable dumbass.

They adoptive parents, Dr. steal yo wife and Ms. I just met you but I claim you as my kid Are loving! Crippling anxiety is a dumbass and follows tracker the tractor and almost become a disco tampon.

Disco tampon family leave crippling anxiety behind and she becomes crippling depression. She almost dies, but expensive girl is like “NO! HELP ME SAVE DISCO TAMPON!”

They then go to ?Italy? and crippling depression saves disco tampon, gets threatened by Rat-man and his premium disco tampons, and becomes crippling anxiety again.

Crippling anxiety leaves dog with issues for disco tampon and they get married. THEN! CRIPPLING ANXIETY GETS HORNY AND CREATES FAKE DOLL BABY!

Crippling anxiety become a disco tampon; dog with issues imprints on doll baby, becomes alpha, and has his baby pack. Rat-man and his team of premium disco tampons wanna kill doll baby cause she a child who don’t age. But the original disco tampons are like “fuck you!”

And they fight, with the help of wannabe werewolves. Blood constipation dies, Dr. Steal yo wife dies, Rat-man and his team of premium disco tampons die, and a bunch of other disco tampons die. Including the wannabe werewolves!

But then it turns out that it was a vision 👀 expensive girl had, which would happen if Rat-man tried to kill doll baby.

Bonus: Crippling anxiety became crippling anger and tried to kill dog with issues because he imprinted on doll baby. She ended up hurting tiny cutie. But tiny cutie was like “it’s ok” and they mended that real quick…

and every Caucasian in that movie had a big ass forehead

Thanks for all the love on this, I’m Glad y’all find it funny 😆💚

✨TWILIGHT✨ in a nutshell…

Disco tampon fights dog with issues over walking crippling anxiety. Crippling anxiety doesn’t like dog with issues, but doesn’t wanna hurt dog with issues. So she hops between the two, but makes it clear, she likes the disco tampon. Crippled anxiety then finds out disco tampon, is in fact, a disco tampon! She’s like “ooh, so pretty! So cool! I wanna date you even more.”

Crippling anxiety meets disco tampon’s family, and expensive girl is like “WE BEST FRIENDS” while her boyfriend, blood constipation, can’t be around her cause he wants to do want tampons do and suck da blood.

Moody booty CanNOT stand crippling anxiety, and wants her to go away. (Same bestie, it’s tiring) Anyway! Moody Booty’s boyfriend, Gorilla Man is a lovable dumbass.

They adoptive parents, Dr. steal yo wife and Ms. I just met you but I claim you as my kid Are loving! Crippling anxiety is a dumbass and follows tracker the tractor and almost become a disco tampon.

Disco tampon family leave crippling anxiety behind and she becomes crippling depression. She almost dies, but expensive girl is like “NO! HELP ME SAVE DISCO TAMPON!”

They then go to ?Italy? and crippling depression saves disco tampon, gets threatened by Rat-man and his premium disco tampons, and becomes crippling anxiety again.

Crippling anxiety leaves dog with issues for disco tampon and they get married. THEN! CRIPPLING ANXIETY GETS HORNY AND CREATES FAKE DOLL BABY!

Crippling anxiety become a disco tampon; dog with issues imprints on doll baby, becomes alpha, and has his baby pack. Rat-man and his team of premium disco tampons wanna kill doll baby cause she a child who don’t age. But the original disco tampons are like “fuck you!”

And they fight, with the help of wannabe werewolves. Blood constipation dies, Dr. Steal yo wife dies, Rat-man and his team of premium disco tampons die, and a bunch of other disco tampons die. Including the wannabe werewolves!

But then it turns out that it was a vision 👀 expensive girl had, which would happen if Rat-man tried to kill doll baby.

Bonus: Crippling anxiety became crippling anger and tried to kill dog with issues because he imprinted on doll baby. She ended up hurting tiny cutie. But tiny cutie was like “it’s ok” and they mended that real quick…

and every Caucasian in that movie had a big ass forehead