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hehe it was my target to kill you softly :) I'm so so glad you enjoyed it though!
peanut butter.
| N.R
Warnings: None
Summary: Nat was having one of her sleepless nights as she enjoyed her peanut butter, but little did she know, you were awake too.
Word Count: 1k
Category: Fluff
A/N: soooo, I've been writing for a while now, and all of my work has basically only been accessible to me. I've decided it's time for me to come out of my shell and post some of them, just because it might actually be fun and not as scary as I thought it would be, so this'll be the first fic that I'm posting. I hope you enjoy! <3
| Started on 27/02/2023, 2:45 PM |
| Finished on 07/03/2023, 5:44 PM |
“In these quiet nights, I found you.”
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
It was 3:48 AM.
A redhead sat at an island in the middle of the dark kitchen. The streetlights outside were the only source of light streaming in from a nearby window.
It was nothing short of the usual now. She's had many sleepless nights, and this was one of them.
Natasha opens a jar of peanut butter, doing her best to be quiet as she sets the lid down gently on the island.
She then grabs a spoon, dipping it in the peanut butter to grab a scoop of it out, only for it to go straight into her mouth.
But with the small creak of the hardwood floor, and the soft padding of footsteps growing nearer towards her, she was alerted to look up.
Only to see you in your sleepy state, rubbing an eye, with your messy hair. But she didn't move an inch after she saw you. Either frozen from staring at you in your cute state, or that she didn't want you to notice her. You'd guess both.
"Nat?" You called out. You can see her shadowy figure, and the light making her orange hair glow just a little brighter in the dark, but your mind was filled with fog of being half asleep, so you wanted confirmation on whether you were seeing things or it was actually just your girlfriend.
Your hand went over to the light switch, turning on the dim lighting so you're not blinded like a flashbomb had hit you from the white lights. The orange lights covered the place with warmth, finally letting you see properly.
There, where the figure was, is someone you had correctly guessed it would be. Nat was sat holding the peanut butter jar, while a spoon was in her mouth. You could melt when you realised how adorable she looked.
Slowly, Nat takes the spoon out of her mouth, her cheeks going slightly red at the situation of her getting caught. Eating peanut butter in the kitchen. In the middle of the night.
"Hey. Sorry, did I wake you?" she smiled sheepishly, leaving the spoon in the jar and placing it on the island.
You sighed, but returned her smile weakly. "No... I just... randomly wake up sometimes." You weren't looking in her eyes, and your lips pursed. "Sleep isn't easy to get."
Her smile faded into a look of concern. It was honest. Your eyes then drifted back to her, and that was when she could see the slight eyebags on your face. Her heart ached a little when she realised you weren't getting enough sleep.
She searched your eyes for the emotions that you might have hidden from her. She could see a little hesitation, maybe to ask a question. But you didn't in the seconds that you could. Her head tilted when she looked at you with a now softer gaze.
She nodded her head tiltedly towards the peanut butter beside her. "Wanna join me then?"
Your eyes traveled to the jar, and your lips turned up slightly. "I'd love to." She smiled crookedly in her own little way as she watched you grab another spoon to share with her.
You sat down on the barstool next to her, grabbing ahold of the jar to slide it closer to you, and you scooped up the peanut butter to eat it by itself too.
When you felt her gaze just in your blurred vision that was more focused on the peanut butter, you look up, seeing her beautiful forest green eyes.
You both just sat and stared at each other lovingly. Could it be just because of the late night minds the two of you have that was super sleep deprived? Or the peanut butter having had some sort of love potion spilt into it? But it was neither. Just simply because of how much you adored her and how much she adored you, and loved every part of you.
You could do this for hours.
Sitting and admiring.
If it was anything related to her, you'd do anything for her. Even if it was in silence just like this moment.
She took a breath in, looking down for a second at her fingers, which were fiddling with each other. Then, she let the breath out, and tilted her head back up. "Why didn't you tell me you're not getting enough sleep?"
You slid the peanut butter jar back over to her, wanting to take turns on eating it. You took a second before replying. "I didn't want to burden you when you already have sleeping problems yourself."
She was about to grab her spoon out, but it instead lingered there with her hand. She looked at you when you said your sentence, and you could see how her eyes pinched slightly with sadness. "Детка, you wouldn't burden me at all." She shook her head.
"If anything your presence makes my night better." At that, you smiled. She'd always be here for you no matter the situation. And you'd do the same. The redhead ate the peanut butter before passing it back to you. It was like a game of who'll finish the peanut butter first at this point. You sat thinking about something.
"Hey, just so you know, you didn't tell me either. I thought you were finally starting to get the sleep you need." You take the chance to eat another scoop of peanut butter, but your voice had a hint of concern in it. Nat only looked at the marble island when you said that.
"I guess we both worry about similar things." She tilted her head to focus on you once more. You understood, because not only did you have similar thoughts, you knew why Natasha couldn't sleep through her late nights.
"Let's just maybe... not keep secrets from each other?" You suggested, your eyes twinkling in the dimly lit kitchen while she stared at you for a bit, before an adorable smile comes up on her face.
"No matter what?" You added, your hand sat atop the island, your pinky finger sticking out, making her huff out a small laugh, but her hand went up to intertwine her pinky finger with yours anyway. Maybe it was the sleepiness getting to her, but her heart told her to do it.
"No matter what."
—————————————————————— <3
tagging: @notevenanna
AWW you’re filling my heart full of warmth right now 🥹 I do my best to pour my love into a soft fic. …I did get inspiration from you, after all
I’m so happy you liked it. it makes me want to become a burst of energy :’)
peanut butter.
| N.R
Warnings: None
Summary: Nat was having one of her sleepless nights as she enjoyed her peanut butter, but little did she know, you were awake too.
Word Count: 1k
Category: Fluff
A/N: soooo, I've been writing for a while now, and all of my work has basically only been accessible to me. I've decided it's time for me to come out of my shell and post some of them, just because it might actually be fun and not as scary as I thought it would be, so this'll be the first fic that I'm posting. I hope you enjoy! <3
| Started on 27/02/2023, 2:45 PM |
| Finished on 07/03/2023, 5:44 PM |
“In these quiet nights, I found you.”
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
It was 3:48 AM.
A redhead sat at an island in the middle of the dark kitchen. The streetlights outside were the only source of light streaming in from a nearby window.
It was nothing short of the usual now. She's had many sleepless nights, and this was one of them.
Natasha opens a jar of peanut butter, doing her best to be quiet as she sets the lid down gently on the island.
She then grabs a spoon, dipping it in the peanut butter to grab a scoop of it out, only for it to go straight into her mouth.
But with the small creak of the hardwood floor, and the soft padding of footsteps growing nearer towards her, she was alerted to look up.
Only to see you in your sleepy state, rubbing an eye, with your messy hair. But she didn't move an inch after she saw you. Either frozen from staring at you in your cute state, or that she didn't want you to notice her. You'd guess both.
"Nat?" You called out. You can see her shadowy figure, and the light making her orange hair glow just a little brighter in the dark, but your mind was filled with fog of being half asleep, so you wanted confirmation on whether you were seeing things or it was actually just your girlfriend.
Your hand went over to the light switch, turning on the dim lighting so you're not blinded like a flashbomb had hit you from the white lights. The orange lights covered the place with warmth, finally letting you see properly.
There, where the figure was, is someone you had correctly guessed it would be. Nat was sat holding the peanut butter jar, while a spoon was in her mouth. You could melt when you realised how adorable she looked.
Slowly, Nat takes the spoon out of her mouth, her cheeks going slightly red at the situation of her getting caught. Eating peanut butter in the kitchen. In the middle of the night.
"Hey. Sorry, did I wake you?" she smiled sheepishly, leaving the spoon in the jar and placing it on the island.
You sighed, but returned her smile weakly. "No... I just... randomly wake up sometimes." You weren't looking in her eyes, and your lips pursed. "Sleep isn't easy to get."
Her smile faded into a look of concern. It was honest. Your eyes then drifted back to her, and that was when she could see the slight eyebags on your face. Her heart ached a little when she realised you weren't getting enough sleep.
She searched your eyes for the emotions that you might have hidden from her. She could see a little hesitation, maybe to ask a question. But you didn't in the seconds that you could. Her head tilted when she looked at you with a now softer gaze.
She nodded her head tiltedly towards the peanut butter beside her. "Wanna join me then?"
Your eyes traveled to the jar, and your lips turned up slightly. "I'd love to." She smiled crookedly in her own little way as she watched you grab another spoon to share with her.
You sat down on the barstool next to her, grabbing ahold of the jar to slide it closer to you, and you scooped up the peanut butter to eat it by itself too.
When you felt her gaze just in your blurred vision that was more focused on the peanut butter, you look up, seeing her beautiful forest green eyes.
You both just sat and stared at each other lovingly. Could it be just because of the late night minds the two of you have that was super sleep deprived? Or the peanut butter having had some sort of love potion spilt into it? But it was neither. Just simply because of how much you adored her and how much she adored you, and loved every part of you.
You could do this for hours.
Sitting and admiring.
If it was anything related to her, you'd do anything for her. Even if it was in silence just like this moment.
She took a breath in, looking down for a second at her fingers, which were fiddling with each other. Then, she let the breath out, and tilted her head back up. "Why didn't you tell me you're not getting enough sleep?"
You slid the peanut butter jar back over to her, wanting to take turns on eating it. You took a second before replying. "I didn't want to burden you when you already have sleeping problems yourself."
She was about to grab her spoon out, but it instead lingered there with her hand. She looked at you when you said your sentence, and you could see how her eyes pinched slightly with sadness. "Детка, you wouldn't burden me at all." She shook her head.
"If anything your presence makes my night better." At that, you smiled. She'd always be here for you no matter the situation. And you'd do the same. The redhead ate the peanut butter before passing it back to you. It was like a game of who'll finish the peanut butter first at this point. You sat thinking about something.
"Hey, just so you know, you didn't tell me either. I thought you were finally starting to get the sleep you need." You take the chance to eat another scoop of peanut butter, but your voice had a hint of concern in it. Nat only looked at the marble island when you said that.
"I guess we both worry about similar things." She tilted her head to focus on you once more. You understood, because not only did you have similar thoughts, you knew why Natasha couldn't sleep through her late nights.
"Let's just maybe... not keep secrets from each other?" You suggested, your eyes twinkling in the dimly lit kitchen while she stared at you for a bit, before an adorable smile comes up on her face.
"No matter what?" You added, your hand sat atop the island, your pinky finger sticking out, making her huff out a small laugh, but her hand went up to intertwine her pinky finger with yours anyway. Maybe it was the sleepiness getting to her, but her heart told her to do it.
"No matter what."
—————————————————————— <3
tagging: @notevenanna
thank you so much :') I'm glad you enjoyed it <3
to feel alive.
| N.R
Warnings: slight ooc!nat in the rain if you squint? other than that, none!
Summary: you invite nat to go in the rain with you for the first time, and it turns out to be a perfect memory.
Word Count: 1k
Category: Fluff!
A/N: listen to almost (sweet music) by hozier if you want to feel this fic as a whole. it was playing in the background as I wrote it with the rain outside <3
or fearless by taylor swift :]
| Started on 03/04/2023, 4:20 PM |
| Finished on 13/05/2023, 8:16 AM |
Masterlist
“What is better than a small moment of
your time, just to feel alive?”
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
"It's raining outside, do you wanna come out with me?" You ask, standing by the bedroom window, turning your head to look at her.
"To do what?" She had her eyebrows furrowed, as if it wasn't already from the work she was doing on the bed, but this time its mixed with confusion.
"Whatever feels right?" You shrug, the sentence having made its way out without you meaning to.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Natasha asked, clueless as to the point of getting wet in the rain and being cold until you get sick.
"I meaaan, I'm just inviting you to come out in the rain with me." You try to convince her, but she held her ground.
"Y/N, I have a mission report to finish, and we'll get soaked." She says, but you didn't care about getting soaked. In fact, it's what makes it so fun.
"So, then we'll just dry ourselves using towels." You give her a reason to push her to the edge of giving in.
"It'll make us look like kids." She countered.
"And who cares about that? We're gonna have a lot of fun, I promise... Please?" When she finally looked up from her mission report and saw that face of yours, she lets out a sigh.
"Only if you tell me why you wanna go out in the pouring rain." She raises her eyebrows, her head tilting in question.
"To just run around and feel alive!" You throw your hands up, before putting them in the pockets of your sweatpants, leaning against the wall near the window. You raised your own eyebrows at her, awaiting her reply.
"I'll give you cuddles when we get back inside?" You offered. Although she was already about to give her answer of acceptance before you added to your sentence, it did make her perk up from her mission report just a little more.
She saw the desperation seeping through your face. The rain started to settle down just a little more, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. "...Fine," her shoulders dropped a bit, showing that she was giving in.
"Yes!" You cheered, grabbing your jacket so it wouldn't be as cold. Even though you knew there's probably a chance that you'll get sick once you're done either way.
"I really did fall in love with an idiot." Nat mumbled under her breath, but you still heard her.
"But you still love me!" You say, walking out the door while looking at her with a beaming face. Her eyes were fixed on you, and she smiled before shaking her head at your little antics.
You went off out the front door, as she grabbed her own jacket and followed you not long after.
Once you got outside, the cold air hit you, and woke you up from whatever calm state you were in. But it had only made you more excited to spend time in the rain.
You walked to where there isn't a roof over your head. You walked to the empty road.
She smiled endearingly at you as she stared at how you had your arms out, with your head up, and just taking in everything this weather is giving you. It was like watching an angel. And yet, all you did was watch the sky in awe. In fact, you could even be in love with the sky, too. But you looked at her just the same when you changed your direction.
"Come on, get over here!" You shouted over the rain as Natasha stood near the entrance still, where she was protected from the earth showering her. Slowly, she walked closer to you, like a careful cat. Honestly, she's been hanging around Liho too much.
You offered your hand out to her, as if you were to ask her for a dance. She took it, and you pulled her into the rain and she let out a small yelp. You let out a giggle at her reaction, and when she got out of the shock of how the rain hit her, she started to laugh because of it, and because of your giggle.
You start running around, careful enough not to trip. But she would be there to catch you, anyway. The droplets of rain could be felt on every inch of skin that it could reach. You felt alive.
Soft laughter filled the space. Even with the sound of the rain in the background, you could hear it so clearly.
"I love you." She said, suddenly, admiring you in the rain.
"What?" You shouted in an act of confusion.
"I love you!" She shouted over the sound of the rain, and it turned silent for a second. You laughed. You could hear her the first time she said it, you just wanted to hear it again in this precious moment.
"I love you more!!" You say in the middle of laughing.
"You're crazy for this, you know." She shoved her hands in her jackets pockets as the cold rain started to freeze her, and you pull her closer to you by having your hands around her waist. Your warmth radiated off of your body and it made her less cold.
"But its fun." You say almost under your breath, but she caught it. Smiling, you kiss her softly even with the water on your lips.
"It is." She leans her her head against yours when you pulled away, closing her eyes and relishing in this moment that she thought would just get her all cold and it would be for nothing but getting her clothes wet, but it's better than any other memory by far.
The both of you start swaying to a made up rhythm, your head resting on her shoulder, not caring the fact that either of you were covered in raindrops.
. . .
The blonde's soft green eyes scan over the two figures in front of her, trying to figure out what the two of you have been doing. "What happened to you two? Did you go out in the rain or something?"
"Yeah, basically." You shrugged with a smile
"I can't believe you convinced my сестра (sister) to get soaked in the rain with you..."
"My turn now!"
-----------------
taglist <3
@notevenanna
I am squeeze hugging you for your words, your little comments make my heart so warm :]
smol pats on the head for you too because you deserve it <3
medicine.
| N.R
Warnings: None
Summary: You had a mild headache and tried to take a nap alone, but Natasha got home before you knew it and took care of you instead.
Word Count: 570
Category: Fluff
A/N: I wrote this right before I took a nap for my own headache and ended up falling asleep. aand then... finished it when I woke up at 2 am. yes. 2. :')
| Started on 26/10/2022, 8:49 PM |
| Finished on 27/10/2022, 4:36 AM |
Masterlist
“You're my medicine.”
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
Your legs were kept closely to your body, and your fingers held the bridge of your nose.
You had your eyes closed. A small headache creeping onto you. So, you thought to take a break from everything and your phone to rest a bit.
A blue light could be seen bouncing off the blank tv screen, coming from the window that showed the view of the sky as the sun said goodbye, and the moon came around.
It would be a perfect time for a nap, and closing your eyes helped.
You were so close to falling asleep and running away from the headache.
But...the front door of the house's lock clicked, and it opened.
Keys could be heard jingling and the door had shut. Quiet footsteps soon came closer to where you are.
You opened your eyes and blinked, before taking your arm off your head, and then looked to your side.
The redhead nearly passed the couch and didn't notice your presence until you shuffled around slightly and made noise.
Her eyebrows were raised for a split second before her gaze on you softened. "Sorry. Did I wake you up?"
The way you ran your fingers and knuckles over a specific spot near the bridge of your nose to ease the ache in your head, made her think about it more. You nodded before letting the backside of your hand fall down and sit lazily on your cheek, looking back at her. Which she thought seemed adorable.
Technically she didn't wake you up. You didn't go to sleep just yet, but you were about to, so in your blank white noise but headache bothering mind, you just thought it was the same thing.
She knew you rarely took naps though. Even you admitted it. "If I do take a nap in the middle of the day, then there is something seriously wrong with me." Was something you had said in the past. And even if you did, most times its of the same situation.
"Do you have a headache, детка? (baby)" It stayed silent as your mind processed the sentence and you thought about telling her. But well, what's the point in not, anyway?
And so, with a basically pleading face that you can't resist doing because of the pain, you nod again. Being too tired to talk.
As soon as you moved your arms away from your body, she had moved to lay down on the couch with you, enveloping you gently in an embrace. You gratefully accepted it.
She places a soft kiss on your forehead before lowering down and touching it with hers. You sighed softly at the slightest of relief, even if it was a little. It was as if she was giving her peace of mind and sharing her calmness with you.
The redhead pulls back slightly, just to look into your eyes. Ones that were half closed, but she could still see the beauty in them, as you could see hers in her soft gaze.
You then hid your head in the crook of her head, taking in the warmth.
"Better?" She whispered, loud enough for you to hear, and breaking the silence only slightly.
"Mhm," all you did was hum quietly.
You didn't need medicine. Not right now. It's not that severe, but from the way your headache had faded away just a bit more, she was your medicine.
All you needed was her.
---------------------------
taglist <3 - anyone is welcome to be added, just ask :]
@notevenanna
and thank you for reading it <3
warm morning.
| N.R
Warnings: None.
Summary: A lovely morning spent in bed with Natasha. That is, until she had her morning routine to do. But, spoiler alert, you manage to make her stay.
Word Count: 1.3k
Category: Fluff
A/N: guys...this is completely off topic, but should I start posting taylor swift fics? I already have some finished, but I'd love to know your opinion on it beforehand :]
| Started on 14/10/2022 |
| Finished on 26/09/2023 |
Masterlist
"The sun shines on your face,
The sun shines on all of you, my love.”
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
The room was only filled with white noise, such as the fan spinning and some shuffling from Natasha’s side.
The sunlight greeted her and your peaceful face just a few minutes ago. The glow of the orange sunlight making you seem like an angel laying right beside her.
She had awoken right as it happened, and she was glad to. Nothing could be better than this.
Her gaze was all focused on you. The way your hair framed your face perfectly, the fact that you were slightly pouting as you were asleep, and just how adorable you looked.
Appreciating it all, with a small smile on the corners of her mouth.
Around 10 minutes later, did you actually start to wake up.
What you first saw was the light blinding you, even with your eyes closed, until you opened them and let them adjust.
Once you’ve realised that its now morning, you feel the gentlest but most loving filled stare just right outside of your eyesight.
You turn your head up to look at her, and took a moment to let your mind register her being there before smiling.
“Hi.” It was the first in a while that you got to wake up with her beside you because she's been busy with missions lately, so you were taking in the moment as much as you could. As she was with you, earlier.
You looked at her shining green eyes before snuggling closer to her, resting your head under her chin.
“Hey, детка.” she was smiling at your adorable morning greeting, how rare it is to have a moment like this. Most of the time, she wakes up earlier for a mission, or training. But, it seems, her heart took the lead instead of her brain this time.
She slowly slid her hand down to yours to squeeze it lightly.
After a few seconds, you pulled back and admired her once again, as she did so with you, too. You took the opportunity to go closer in your own pace, and softly place your lips on hers, your arms resting behind her neck.
Soon after, you pulled back, sighing. It was a longing sigh. Your head went to her shoulder instead, a hand of yours drifting down to fidget with her arrow necklace, as you always do.
"Can we just stay like this for a while?" you ask, not wanting to let this moment end, even if you knew Natasha had her morning routine to do.
"Well, I don't have any missions today... But I do still need to go to training." she gave you the reason you couldn't, which you were expecting. But you couldn't really give a care at the moment. You deserved more time with her.
"Training can wait." You lean back up to steal another kiss from her once more, making the softest, smallest little laugh come out from her.
You then rested your head on her shoulder. Slow movements were beside you all the while, her hand tangled in your hair, gently combing through it.
With all of this, you were starting to fall back asleep. Her heartbeat and steady breath, her hold on you, keeping you safe, and especially the soft warm feeling in your heart, it made it hard to not once again.
But, just as you were closing your eyes, Natasha didn't let you. She pulled away, gently letting your hands that were around her body go down on the bed, and standing up.
"Noooo, where are you going?" you ask softly, while Natasha hears a soft meow from under her, making her look down. She sees Liho staring up at her with it's yellow eyes, almost matching the radiant sunlight. What a thing to have made her smile. But really, the smile turned into a smirk as she turned her head back to you.
"What? It's time to get up now." she says with a feigning innocence, as if she doesn't know what she just did to you a few seconds ago.
"You're such a tease." you mumble, turning on your back to not look at her anymore. You feel a shift of weight on the bed, which made you glance to see what it was, but it was the adorable little black cat just laying down next to you.
You put your hand out to touch the soft black fur, making Liho start purring next to you.
"You can have Liho to cuddle up to while I'm gone." Natasha suggests, trying her best not to smile too widely at you being so close to the small friend.
The purring could act as her heartbeat, the breathing as, well, her breathing. But, that all that didn't matter anyway. You wanted Nat.
"But she's not you." you pouted, making her pause on her way to the closet and turn to you once more. Now, she couldn't resist a small smile on her face, which made her adorable mind you. You, meanwhile, kept up your pouting.
"I'll give you one more hug before I go, and that's it, alright?" you purse your lips, racking up a decision in your head, and then nodding once you had it.
You get up from the bed, trying your best not to disturb Liho, but the movement made her perk up and turn her head to look at you as you go, perhaps wondering what it is you're doing.
You swiftly made your way into Nat's arms, but a small smirk was hidden away from her as you put your head on her shoulder.
It was then with the time that goes by, that the redhead realises that you're not letting go. Your plan was falling into place.
"Y/N, let me go," she says firmly, but slowly, a warning perhaps. But it wasn't truly. she started to regret giving you the opportunity to make her stay so easily.
"No." you mutter, shaking your head, you weren't gonna give up anytime soon.
"I have to get to training детка." with that, you instead moved to her neck, resting your head there and letting your nose gently touch the skin of her neck.
"Nope." you say now, your grip on her tightening as she tried to get you off her. She had the strength to simply just pull you off, but with you, she was gentle. Not ever did she want to hurt you.
"...Stay, please?" Your voice comes out softly. She stares at you, you having a look on your face that she couldn't deny. She knows you know she'd do anything for you.
Nat lets out a soft sigh in defeat. One day of her missing training won't cause chaos to unfold anyway, she was just determined to keep up her routine. But you had everything in your power to make her drop whatever she's doing so quickly.
"Fine," she says in a breath, making you pull back with a beaming face. Her lips turned up at you. Nothing in the world, nothing, can make her smile so easily as your smile does.
"Really?" you ask to make sure. Although you do really want her to stay, your head started making it seem like you were too clingy, and probably being annoying.
"Don't make me change my mind," she jokes lightly, letting out a small chuckle. Yet, you were still quiet.
But, she hushed down your head before it started getting worse, one lone sentence coming out her mouth. "Of course I'll stay." her eyes gleamed with the love she holds dear just for you.
You smile at her loving stare, and start pulling her back to bed. All plans of her wanting to do what she wanted in today's morning fell with the seconds that go by. But she didn't mind, as long as she was with you.
----------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous
*giving you the warmest hug* <3
in all our tiredness.
| N.R
Warnings: naked in the shower together, but nothing graphic. DNI if it makes you uncomfortable!!
Summary: After a month of exhausting missions, you and Natasha finally arrives home late in the night. Seeing as you had taken up most of your stamina, she took her time taking care of you.
Word Count: 891
Category: Fluff
| Started on 5 September 2022 2:33 PM |
| Finished on 6 September 2022 8:01 AM |
Masterlist
“In all my tiredness, there was you."
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
The warm water had dampened most of the aching in your muscles, but it wasn't enough to fully make it go away.
The shower ran in the background, hitting your bodies but not your hair, as she was putting shampoo on it.
A familiar scent fills the air, like a blanket that lets you know that you're home, safely with Nat.
Having relieved from it all, you sigh as Nat's eyes kept watch over you for a minute, knowing your mind was stuck on thinking about the past missions.
She did her work, focusing back on your hair and untangling the knots gently as you had your head rested on her shoulder just like before, but you were facing her now.
When she stumbled upon a particularly difficult knot, you winced at the bit of pain.
“Sorry,” she whispered gently, and leant down her head to kiss your shoulder that has drops of water atop the skin. It made her lips more wet, but seeing as you were in the shower, she didn’t mind.
Too tired to speak, you nuzzled your nose slightly against her soft skin, a way of showing her that you forgive her. Although, you could never really get mad at her.
Soon, she was done and pulled away from you slightly so you were off her shoulder. You missed having her close to you instantly, but you knew you had to follow along.
She gazed at your face with a shine of adoration in her eyes, seeing how drowsy and soft you looked. “Tilt your head back a bit.”
And so, you did. She made sure to wash all the shampoo off and let the towel soak in the wetness on your skin before wrapping it around your body, the fluffiness of the towel warming you up quickly. She took a couple seconds to do the same thing to herself, too.
Calloused hands touched your upper bare back, guiding you towards your shared bedroom and letting you sit down on the bed.
The redhead gave you a reassuring smile before she went off to the closet to grab some clothes for you and her, forgetting to do it earlier as the two of you just wanted a moment to relax in the shower after the tiring mission.
You fiddled with your fingers as she came back into your view, somehow getting into her shirt and shorts while you were spaced out before.
She held one of your hands, and you understood the signal. She gently pulled you up and took the towel off of you, putting on your (her) sweater along with some joggers. Seeing as you always stole it, she knows by now it’s your favourite.
You looked down on the outfit, smiling at it before looking back up at her and taking a step closer. Loosely putting your arms around her neck, you leaned slightly until you softly touched her lips with yours.
Her arms went around your waist, wanting to make the kiss longer. Smiling just as you were though, so it made it a bit harder.
When you finally pulled back, your hand had slithered down to one of hers, entangling each other and gently pulling her with you to lay on the bed.
Now, was the hard decision.
Do you want to hold her or let her hold you? Big spoon, little spoon. You'd change every now and then.
It wouldn't matter, as both of you would be holding each other either way, but after all the caring she's done for you it would be right to hold her. Or well, you thought so.
Though, you do want to be held, too.
Since you couldn't decide, you let her choose. But it was too late, because Natasha already had her arms open when you got back into reality.
You blinked at her before fully processing the situation and shuffling closer so your head was beneath her chin. She could feel your small smile against her skin as you felt her warmness embrace you.
She had wrapped her arms around your body, pulling you closer than you already were as if you were simply a teddy bear. But delicately, seeing as your body still ached from it all.
The redhead leant back to see your face. "You okay?" she asks, just to be sure before the two of you lay comfortably. You nod, sending her a gentle smile at the care she had just in asking.
She reflected your face and slowly went in to leave a short kiss on your lips, then went back to her original position.
You desperately wanted to kiss her back and feel her lips once more, but the position had made you comfortable and lazy, so instead you went to leave a kiss on her neck.
She let out a small giggle at the gesture, and you could feel the vibrations from her body.
Then, you simply put your arms around her waist, so now you both were holding each other.
The room went quiet. Your eyes started to close before you drifted off into a deep sleep.
Natasha felt your breathing go softer when you did, and though the room was dark, her eyes had a certain spark of love. But what was truly inside her was a bright flame.
Her lips were slightly upturned, and she closes her eyes before going off into sleep herself.
---------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous
aw, you're always so sweet :( I wanna squeeze you and just hug you tightly and never let go
thank you sm <3 I just woke up and I feel like melting from the warmth already
in all our tiredness.
| N.R
Warnings: naked in the shower together, but nothing graphic. DNI if it makes you uncomfortable!!
Summary: After a month of exhausting missions, you and Natasha finally arrives home late in the night. Seeing as you had taken up most of your stamina, she took her time taking care of you.
Word Count: 891
Category: Fluff
| Started on 5 September 2022 2:33 PM |
| Finished on 6 September 2022 8:01 AM |
Masterlist
“In all my tiredness, there was you."
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
The warm water had dampened most of the aching in your muscles, but it wasn't enough to fully make it go away.
The shower ran in the background, hitting your bodies but not your hair, as she was putting shampoo on it.
A familiar scent fills the air, like a blanket that lets you know that you're home, safely with Nat.
Having relieved from it all, you sigh as Nat's eyes kept watch over you for a minute, knowing your mind was stuck on thinking about the past missions.
She did her work, focusing back on your hair and untangling the knots gently as you had your head rested on her shoulder just like before, but you were facing her now.
When she stumbled upon a particularly difficult knot, you winced at the bit of pain.
“Sorry,” she whispered gently, and leant down her head to kiss your shoulder that has drops of water atop the skin. It made her lips more wet, but seeing as you were in the shower, she didn’t mind.
Too tired to speak, you nuzzled your nose slightly against her soft skin, a way of showing her that you forgive her. Although, you could never really get mad at her.
Soon, she was done and pulled away from you slightly so you were off her shoulder. You missed having her close to you instantly, but you knew you had to follow along.
She gazed at your face with a shine of adoration in her eyes, seeing how drowsy and soft you looked. “Tilt your head back a bit.”
And so, you did. She made sure to wash all the shampoo off and let the towel soak in the wetness on your skin before wrapping it around your body, the fluffiness of the towel warming you up quickly. She took a couple seconds to do the same thing to herself, too.
Calloused hands touched your upper bare back, guiding you towards your shared bedroom and letting you sit down on the bed.
The redhead gave you a reassuring smile before she went off to the closet to grab some clothes for you and her, forgetting to do it earlier as the two of you just wanted a moment to relax in the shower after the tiring mission.
You fiddled with your fingers as she came back into your view, somehow getting into her shirt and shorts while you were spaced out before.
She held one of your hands, and you understood the signal. She gently pulled you up and took the towel off of you, putting on your (her) sweater along with some joggers. Seeing as you always stole it, she knows by now it’s your favourite.
You looked down on the outfit, smiling at it before looking back up at her and taking a step closer. Loosely putting your arms around her neck, you leaned slightly until you softly touched her lips with yours.
Her arms went around your waist, wanting to make the kiss longer. Smiling just as you were though, so it made it a bit harder.
When you finally pulled back, your hand had slithered down to one of hers, entangling each other and gently pulling her with you to lay on the bed.
Now, was the hard decision.
Do you want to hold her or let her hold you? Big spoon, little spoon. You'd change every now and then.
It wouldn't matter, as both of you would be holding each other either way, but after all the caring she's done for you it would be right to hold her. Or well, you thought so.
Though, you do want to be held, too.
Since you couldn't decide, you let her choose. But it was too late, because Natasha already had her arms open when you got back into reality.
You blinked at her before fully processing the situation and shuffling closer so your head was beneath her chin. She could feel your small smile against her skin as you felt her warmness embrace you.
She had wrapped her arms around your body, pulling you closer than you already were as if you were simply a teddy bear. But delicately, seeing as your body still ached from it all.
The redhead leant back to see your face. "You okay?" she asks, just to be sure before the two of you lay comfortably. You nod, sending her a gentle smile at the care she had just in asking.
She reflected your face and slowly went in to leave a short kiss on your lips, then went back to her original position.
You desperately wanted to kiss her back and feel her lips once more, but the position had made you comfortable and lazy, so instead you went to leave a kiss on her neck.
She let out a small giggle at the gesture, and you could feel the vibrations from her body.
Then, you simply put your arms around her waist, so now you both were holding each other.
The room went quiet. Your eyes started to close before you drifted off into a deep sleep.
Natasha felt your breathing go softer when you did, and though the room was dark, her eyes had a certain spark of love. But what was truly inside her was a bright flame.
Her lips were slightly upturned, and she closes her eyes before going off into sleep herself.
---------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous
yes :] they're both tiny and adorable <3
just a little jealous.
| N.R
Warnings: None!
Summary: Natasha comes home to find out Liho has been taking her spot for you.
Word Count: 1.4k
Category: fluffy fluff <3
| Started on 12/10/2023, 6:45 AM |
| Finished on 28/10/2023 7:29 PM |
Masterlist
"But you are the first thing on my mind, always.
Does that count?"
"Traitor." - Nat, aou
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
"Детка (baby), I'm home!" Nat calls out into the house as she closes the door on the way in, but all that greeted her back was the quietness the place had.
"Детка?" She says yet again, questioning if you just hadn't heard her, because she knows you get a little too lost in your music at times.
She checks the living room, nothing but the tv remote still in its original place since she was last here, then the kitchen, and still nothing.
Then, something else greeted her. Black paws quietly ran across the room and a soft meow makes her look down. Liho was pawing at her legs, and Natasha bent down to grab her, the soft fur instantly making her relax.
"Hi there." Liho curled up against her when she pulled her to her chest, the feline closing its eyes at the comfortable spot it's in.
"You know where Y/N is? Hm?" Her hand goes up to pet Liho in between her ears, and while it started purring against her, Liho started to move her head, making Natasha move her hand to let the little one look wherever it's wanting to.
When the yellow eyes stared up the stairs, where supposedly, is in the direction of your shared bedroom with Nat, she gets what Liho was trying to say.
Nat walks towards and up the stairs, her legs leading her off to your shared bedroom together. The quietness that still stayed had Nat waiting in anticipation on what exactly you were doing. If you were watching a movie, she would have heard it by now, with how close she was to the room.
The door was open just a crack, so you could only see a glimpse of the inside, but just her seeing even a small strand of your hair made her a little calmer.
She steps inside, pushing the door gently with her hand but it still welcomed her with a soft creak. Although she was hoping to see you on the bed, safe and sound, she also wasn't expecting you to be sitting opposite of how someone would usually lay down in a bed.
You laid on your side, an arm and a leg half hanging off the bed, with your feet just below where the pillows are, and your head resting on a folded blanket. She wondered how exactly did you make yourself comfortable in that position, but had gotten distracted by the adorable pout you had on your face. You seemed spaced out.
When you heard the creak and noticed Nat walking in the room, your face brightens.
"There you are." The both of you said. Yes. The both of you at the same time. It would make sense for the widow to have said it, but when she heard the words echo back to her from your own mouth, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
Then, Liho let out a meow and jumped off from her arms, landing gracefully down to the floor to go over to you instead. You opened your arms up, wanting the floof against your skin again.
Liho settles herself beside you, and when you finally, as Nat thought, looked up at her, she had her mouth slightly open in shock at how you almost didn't say hi to her first and wanted to cuddle with the cat.
You had a smile on your face already before giggling at how shocked Nat looked. "Hi," you say softly, as if you hadn't just absolutely betrayed her.
"Don't 'hi' me!" She still stood at the door, lifting her hands up in made up exasperation until she shook her head with a small smile, walking to you, (or so you thought) no, walking by you, to grab a pair of comfortable clothes from the closet.
Now you were the one surprised. But the both of you were smiling all the while. You lift yourself up to sit up slightly, leaning on your elbows. "Wait, I only greeted Liho first because she wasn't here when I woke up from my nap!"
"I wasn't either!" She claims, and although it was undeniably the truth, you did sleep while Liho was next to you, and she was off at work, until you woke up with the black cat gone, similar to the morning you had with Nat's warm body missing next to you just a few hours ago. Missing black cat, missing black widow.
"I'm sorry, okay? But hey, I still greeted both of you!" You say in defense. She raises her eyebrows at you, grabbing her towel to hang it on one of her shoulders. Her mouth, almost making out a small pout. But you bet she's trying her hardest not to let it show much.
"Should've been me first." she mumbles, turning around to head towards the bathroom. You just barely hear her, and it took everything in you not to laugh or aw at how jealous she was.
"What was that?" You ask, taunting her with a smirk that you're glad she couldn't see
"Nothing! Nothing." She huffs, walking off to the bathroom to clean herself off from today's work with her hands swatting in the air towards you without looking, as if signalling you to stop or go away.
When you hear the door closing with a click, you let out a quiet laugh, leaning back on the folded blanket you laid on.
"Did you hear what I heard too?" You whisper to Liho, petting her soft fur. The curled up cat didn't answer, and only purred with its eyes closed from your gentle hands.
You soon heard running water come from the bathroom, and although you loved teasing Nat, you were glad she's home again.
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
Once Nat got back in the bedroom and put her clothes on, she sits down next to you, while trying to keep a small distance between the both of you.
"You know you're jealous over just one of the smallest, adorable beings on the world right?" you raise a brow at her, a smile ghosting your lips.
"Shut up." a chuckle comes out of you at her quick response, and you pull up the covers to cover up the both of you, making sure Liho didn't end up completely under them and suffocating or something. Nat's face softened slightly at the gesture as the covers warmed her up.
"You shouldn't be. You're the same, just more adorable." It clicked in that moment, that you were implying she was another small but most adorable thing in the world. Honestly, if she wasn't so in love with you, you'd probably be dead by now.
Natasha rolls her eyes playfully, and still a little annoyed, but the feeling doesn't stay much longer when you cuddle closer into her. Her heart can't resist making her arms put theirselves around your body.
Even if it was her heart, she kept her eyes focused on Liho, her hands slightly tightening around you, as if protectively keeping you away from the small unharmful cat.
You wriggle a bit out of her grip, which made her loosen her arms just a little, but watches you as she lets you turn around to make eye contact with the curious yellow eyes as Liho made its way to you.
Before Nat could pull you back closer to her, Liho unexpectedly, at first slowly reaches up with one paw on your shoulder, and then boops your nose with her other paw gently, making you let out a soft giggle and scrunch your nose. Natasha's heart melted, and as if the scene to look at wasn't just adorable enough, she had to hear your little laugh.
You then turn back to snuggle against Nat, but then lean up to put a small soft boop on her nose, too.
"Hey!" Nat splutters out lightly in surprise as she laughed along with you, warmth enveloping the both of your hearts, and maybe even Liho's, though she might just be confused at what the two of you are laughing about.
While you both calmed down, the black cat pads over to Nat's side instead, laying down and flipping around to stretch then show Nat her stomach. She pets Liho's head, her hand straying down away to it's body covered in soft fur.
Although she had to admit she was jealous, she still loves the feline friend even though it almost seemed as if it was trying to steal you away from her. But of course, what she loved most was seeing your adorable smile.
---------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natsbraids
just a little jealous.
| N.R
Warnings: None!
Summary: Natasha comes home to find out Liho has been taking her spot for you.
Word Count: 1.4k
Category: fluffy fluff <3
| Started on 12/10/2023, 6:45 AM |
| Finished on 28/10/2023 7:29 PM |
Masterlist
"But you are the first thing on my mind, always.
Does that count?"
"Traitor." - Nat, aou
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
"Детка (baby), I'm home!" Nat calls out into the house as she closes the door on the way in, but all that greeted her back was the quietness the place had.
"Детка?" She says yet again, questioning if you just hadn't heard her, because she knows you get a little too lost in your music at times.
She checks the living room, nothing but the tv remote still in its original place since she was last here, then the kitchen, and still nothing.
Then, something else greeted her. Black paws quietly ran across the room and a soft meow makes her look down. Liho was pawing at her legs, and Natasha bent down to grab her, the soft fur instantly making her relax.
"Hi there." Liho curled up against her when she pulled her to her chest, the feline closing its eyes at the comfortable spot it's in.
"You know where Y/N is? Hm?" Her hand goes up to pet Liho in between her ears, and while it started purring against her, Liho started to move her head, making Natasha move her hand to let the little one look wherever it's wanting to.
When the yellow eyes stared up the stairs, where supposedly, is in the direction of your shared bedroom with Nat, she gets what Liho was trying to say.
Nat walks towards and up the stairs, her legs leading her off to your shared bedroom together. The quietness that still stayed had Nat waiting in anticipation on what exactly you were doing. If you were watching a movie, she would have heard it by now, with how close she was to the room.
The door was open just a crack, so you could only see a glimpse of the inside, but just her seeing even a small strand of your hair made her a little calmer.
She steps inside, pushing the door gently with her hand but it still welcomed her with a soft creak. Although she was hoping to see you on the bed, safe and sound, she also wasn't expecting you to be sitting opposite of how someone would usually lay down in a bed.
You laid on your side, an arm and a leg half hanging off the bed, with your feet just below where the pillows are, and your head resting on a folded blanket. She wondered how exactly did you make yourself comfortable in that position, but had gotten distracted by the adorable pout you had on your face. You seemed spaced out.
When you heard the creak and noticed Nat walking in the room, your face brightens.
"There you are." The both of you said. Yes. The both of you at the same time. It would make sense for the widow to have said it, but when she heard the words echo back to her from your own mouth, she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.
Then, Liho let out a meow and jumped off from her arms, landing gracefully down to the floor to go over to you instead. You opened your arms up, wanting the floof against your skin again.
Liho settles herself beside you, and when you finally, as Nat thought, looked up at her, she had her mouth slightly open in shock at how you almost didn't say hi to her first and wanted to cuddle with the cat.
You had a smile on your face already before giggling at how shocked Nat looked. "Hi," you say softly, as if you hadn't just absolutely betrayed her.
"Don't 'hi' me!" She still stood at the door, lifting her hands up in made up exasperation until she shook her head with a small smile, walking to you, (or so you thought) no, walking by you, to grab a pair of comfortable clothes from the closet.
Now you were the one surprised. But the both of you were smiling all the while. You lift yourself up to sit up slightly, leaning on your elbows. "Wait, I only greeted Liho first because she wasn't here when I woke up from my nap!"
"I wasn't either!" She claims, and although it was undeniably the truth, you did sleep while Liho was next to you, and she was off at work, until you woke up with the black cat gone, similar to the morning you had with Nat's warm body missing next to you just a few hours ago. Missing black cat, missing black widow.
"I'm sorry, okay? But hey, I still greeted both of you!" You say in defense. She raises her eyebrows at you, grabbing her towel to hang it on one of her shoulders. Her mouth, almost making out a small pout. But you bet she's trying her hardest not to let it show much.
"Should've been me first." she mumbles, turning around to head towards the bathroom. You just barely hear her, and it took everything in you not to laugh or aw at how jealous she was.
"What was that?" You ask, taunting her with a smirk that you're glad she couldn't see
"Nothing! Nothing." She huffs, walking off to the bathroom to clean herself off from today's work with her hands swatting in the air towards you without looking, as if signalling you to stop or go away.
When you hear the door closing with a click, you let out a quiet laugh, leaning back on the folded blanket you laid on.
"Did you hear what I heard too?" You whisper to Liho, petting her soft fur. The curled up cat didn't answer, and only purred with its eyes closed from your gentle hands.
You soon heard running water come from the bathroom, and although you loved teasing Nat, you were glad she's home again.
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
Once Nat got back in the bedroom and put her clothes on, she sits down next to you, while trying to keep a small distance between the both of you.
"You know you're jealous over just one of the smallest, adorable beings on the world right?" you raise a brow at her, a smile ghosting your lips.
"Shut up." a chuckle comes out of you at her quick response, and you pull up the covers to cover up the both of you, making sure Liho didn't end up completely under them and suffocating or something. Nat's face softened slightly at the gesture as the covers warmed her up.
"You shouldn't be. You're the same, just more adorable." It clicked in that moment, that you were implying she was another small but most adorable thing in the world. Honestly, if she wasn't so in love with you, you'd probably be dead by now.
Natasha rolls her eyes playfully, and still a little annoyed, but the feeling doesn't stay much longer when you cuddle closer into her. Her heart can't resist making her arms put theirselves around your body.
Even if it was her heart, she kept her eyes focused on Liho, her hands slightly tightening around you, as if protectively keeping you away from the small unharmful cat.
You wriggle a bit out of her grip, which made her loosen her arms just a little, but watches you as she lets you turn around to make eye contact with the curious yellow eyes as Liho made its way to you.
Before Nat could pull you back closer to her, Liho unexpectedly, at first slowly reaches up with one paw on your shoulder, and then boops your nose with her other paw gently, making you let out a soft giggle and scrunch your nose. Natasha's heart melted, and as if the scene to look at wasn't just adorable enough, she had to hear your little laugh.
You then turn back to snuggle against Nat, but then lean up to put a small soft boop on her nose, too.
"Hey!" Nat splutters out lightly in surprise as she laughed along with you, warmth enveloping the both of your hearts, and maybe even Liho's, though she might just be confused at what the two of you are laughing about.
While you both calmed down, the black cat pads over to Nat's side instead, laying down and flipping around to stretch then show Nat her stomach. She pets Liho's head, her hand straying down away to it's body covered in soft fur.
Although she had to admit she was jealous, she still loves the feline friend even though it almost seemed as if it was trying to steal you away from her. But of course, what she loved most was seeing your adorable smile.
---------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natsbraids
waffles are my favorite, so it was the only thing that could come to my mind :]
gosh, "sweetest elixir to a struggling heart." thats a sentence I never thought to hear of. your words are very touching :') I'm very glad to know you enjoyed the fic <3
i don't know.
| N.R
Warnings: long windup to a mental breakdown, loss of breathing, numbing day, vent fic, maybe some bad writing here and there? r loves waffles
Summary: When everything, such as emotions, ends up building away a little too much, the days start to blur together until you soon break. But Nat was there every part of the way.
Word Count: 3k
Category: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort(?)
A/N: hi my darlings :] its a new year and I just wanted to say I love you all and I am so so proud of you for just being here. you are not alone in whatever you're facing. things are hard sometimes and this was hard to write but you make me smile when I see you in my notifs <3 hugs to all of you, you're doing amazing
I hope this fic brings you comfort as it did for me
| Started on 12/11/2023, 7:29 AM |
| Finished on 08/01/2024, 2:05 PM |
Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
"my love. listen to me. breathe, let go, and focus on you and your surroundings. you're safe."
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
It was yet another day. Another tiring day. You haven't gone through it yet, but you sure didn't get much rest even though you've slept.
You sigh, and turn your back on the bed. Nat was sleeping beside you, but you were too caught up in zoning out to move closer to her. And you didn't want to wake her yet.
Nothing has even happened today and still, you can't bare to think about anything. Perhaps all your emotions are catching up, and at that thought, you turn your face into the pillow.
Another few minutes pass by with you staring at the ceiling, turning until your leg and arm was dangling off the side of the bed, or face down on your pillow. It didn't take long for your temptation to shuffle closer to Nat to take over though.
You slowly put your arms around her and snuggle closer to her, taking comfort in the warmth of her body. With her being a light sleeper though, she starts to stir awake. Her eyes open and her arms move to hold yours.
"Morning, любовь (love)." She whispered, her voice raspy, but her words filling the room and your heart with warmth with even the smallest way. Maybe this day won't be so bad...Maybe this day won't be so bad.
She turns in your embrace and looks at you with gentle half-lidded eyes, her nose brushing against yours ever so slightly with the fact that you were face-to-face. She could see it in your eyes already, something was off. She moves herself up to leave the softest kiss on your forehead. You could've broken there already, but you didn't. You didn't.
You rest your head against her chest, a small pout making its way to your face. She runs her hand through your hair and holds you for a few more minutes, the both of your breathing being able to be heard as if on whispering volume, but it was there, and gentle.
Soon she pulls away, dragging herself up to a more sitting position, leaving you beside her stomach level. You assume she was about to get up to do her morning routine, and you were about to prepare to pull her back to bed.
"What do you want for breakfast?" She asks, and the question almost made you confused, because you were expecting she would go for her morning run, but it seems, she wants to do something else.
With the simple question, you manage to make up an answer. Although it did take you a few minutes, with your jumbled up mind.
"Waffles." She smiles, having heard that answer several times. Nat gently nudges you to move you to the pillow instead, and goes to get up from the bed.
"Wait," you say suddenly, capturing her arm before it could be out of your reach. She turns back to you, a gentle and curious look upon her face.
"Are you staying?" You ask, your voice being nothing more than a whisper. But the little shakiness it holds doesn't pass by her ears.
"Of course I am." It was a rather simple answer. But the touch of her hand against yours and her eyes meeting yours was more than enough of a promise.
She gives you a small smile before going into the bathroom with her towel, the shower soon being an occuring noise coming from the bathroom.
Your eyes glide over to the window, the view being buildings and the sky filled with fluffy clouds. Your mind strayed. The running water was the only other thing you could focus on.
When Nat came out, she was wrapped into a towel. You pull the covers closer to yourself and curl up under them, feeling colder from just the gusts of wind the ceiling fan is making. Were you only sick and gathering a fever? No. No, that wasn't it.
You turn to look back at Nat, and she was fully clothed already. You watch her walk towards the bed, reaching out her arm to put the back of her hand against your forehead. It wasn't warm. She must know something is up already.
"Shower, okay? Or, you won't get any waffles." She says, her fingers moving a stray hair out of your face, but looking at you with raised eyebrows.
"Is that a threat?" You finally give her the smallest raise on the corners of your lips, and it took everything in her not to cheer.
"Yes, it is!" She said jokingly, her voice further away now that she went out the door, but the volume made it so that the words reached your ears. You shake your head, the sound of her voice being the most adorable thing to you.
You lay your back against the bed once more, staring up at the moving ceiling fan. Today is going to be a long day.
Some movement could be seen in the corner of your eye, and you almost thought Nat was back already, but then when you look, you only see a black furry animal coming to visit you.
Liho jumps up on the bed, and stares at you with her yellow eyes. The cat walks closer, and you go to pet it, the soft fur precious against your gentle hands.
It's cold nose touches you, and at it, you smile. You had forgotten cats had cold noses. Liho steps back a bit, and you tilt your head, wondering about her next move.
She leaped to the other side of the bed, going above your legs to reach to where Nat usually lays, and meows at you.
With your head and eyes following her movement, it soon went up to where the bathroom is. You blink at it for a second or two, making up decisions in your head.
Soon enough, you willed yourself out of bed by slowly going to a sitting position, to letting your legs dangle at the side of the bed, and finally, with hesitancy, getting up.
You were about to go search the closet for an outfit to wear, but then you see at the edge of the bed, a folded hoodie and your favorite sweatpants prepared already, by perhaps, Nat.
Your heart warmed at the caring gesture she did. With the more courage, you maks your way to the bathroom to take a warm shower, hoping that the day will only get better.
When you got back out, the fluffy towel kept you feeling cozy, and you got your clothes on. By the time you look to the door and walk to the kitchen, Nat was sitting at the kitchen island, ready with two plates of waffles.
She glances up and sees you, a soft smile present on her face. What got you so lucky to have someone like her? You sit down in front of her, and enjoy the waffles she prepared, the soft texture of your hoodie giving as much comfort as the warmth of the waffle soon going in your mouth.
The rest of the day then consisted of you being unable to focus on anything. You couldn't read, and you couldn't do your hobbies without straying off to doing something else such as staring off into space or just laying on the couch or bed doing nothing.
You yawn, for the tenth time the past hour. But you weren't sleepy. Gosh, you were tired though. Nat was beside you on the couch, working on something on her laptop while you scrolled endlessly on your phone.
Her eyes go over to you, before flickering back to her laptop, her hands then moving to turn it off and close it. She turns her head to you, and the attention you feel from the side has you looking away from your phone and instead, at her.
"Do you wanna sit down outside? The sun's going down." She tilts her head towards the door, then goes to glance at the window in the living room, it having a view of the sky slowly changing color.
Your eyes had a certain shine on them when they laid upon the window, the colors and the way the sunlight does a shape of the window somewhere on the floor finally captured an attention of your auto-pilot mind. You nod at Nat's question, a quiet "Yeah," making out of you.
"Look," you say, just as Nat was about to get up from the couch. She looks down and was just as entranced as you were at the scenery in front of her.
"You should take a photo." She encourages you with a small smile and stands up. You take out your phone and find a perfect angle to grab a picture. Also making sure the exposure is on the perfect level.
"I'll make us hot chocolate, yeah? You can go out first so you don't miss the first few minutes." Nat says, going to the kitchen. Liho enters the scene, and lays down on the carpet just next to where it seeped in the sun, and you just had to take another picture.
After you were satisfied, you push yourself up with your hands and make your way to the door, slowly opening it and going out, leaving it open just a crack so Nat could come outside easier.
A golden sunset spreads throughout the place. The sun paints the sky a lovely shade of orange mixed with light blue, and a tinge of pink. You admire how smooth the gradient is.
The wooden texture of the floor makes itself known on your hands as you shuffled to rest your back against the wall of the house, but you slide your hands into your pockets comfortably.
The door opens, and Nat comes outside with two fresh mugs of hot chocolate. One being coffee though, for herself. She was quick. In your peripheral vision, you could see her sitting next to you on the porch, and hand you one mug.
You turn your head to look at her, and you reach up with one of your hands that held you up to grab the hot chocolate. The warmth made itself comfortable in your hands as you clasped it lightly to not burn yourself, but making sure your grip wasn't too loose.
You take a deep breath in, and let it out as a long sigh, not meaning to do it so audibly. Natasha takes notice of this, and her eyes drift from the view of the sunset, over to you, seeing just how lost in your head you were.
"Are you okay детка (baby)?" She starts gently with a simple question. She knows today was one of those days.
"I don't know," you say. It was honest. You don't know what you've felt for a while, but it was certainly gnawing at you for something. Some kind of release. You just didn't have time or energy to in the past few days.
"You've been off the entire day." She adds, her voice laced with concern, but no judgement. She put her mug to the side after another sip, her focus all on you while you tried to keep yours on the sunset.
"I just wanna stay home right now," you whisper. It's not that she was about to ask you if you wanted to go out, but rather, just the fact that you felt comfortable and safe at the moment. This is home. She's your home.
Nat's eyes roam your face, searching for all the thoughts you're thinking. But she couldn't really read your face. Perhaps because, you didn't know what you were feeling either. Sad? Mad? Stressed? Anxious? So many feelings available to name, but all you felt was a sense of heaviness.
"...I feel like falling apart anytime." that was the only other thing you could say. Your voice quiet, so quiet she could only hear it because she was right beside you.
It clicks in for Nat, and she understands fully. She's done it herself, countless times. And you were there nearly every single time. Feelings being kept and slowly overflowing, until everything in the past few months catch up.
You tried everything within you not to. You tried. But it's not possible with how much you've already tried avoiding your emotions. The birds chirped and flew off home while the sun sank down.
Nat hears a small sniffle and a quiet but sharp intake of a breath coming from you, until another slightly louder sniffle comes out, and you turn your head to face her. She sees your eyes glistening with tears, and she takes in her own breath to not cry herself. To see you in such a state left a crack in her heart.
Her arms instinctively goes to pull you closer and hold you, and that was when you broke. You hid in her neck and sobbed in her embrace, your tears staining her shirt.
It was unusual, but not the first time you've broken down like this. Nat was still getting used to saying assuring words, but she thinks about all the things you've said to her before, and tries her best to use it in her own ways.
She gently runs her fingers through your hair, holding you safely. She could feel your body shaking, and your chest going up in hiccups from your breathing between your sobs.
"Oh, солнышко (sunshine)." She whispers softly, so softly. The sounds of your cries made her frown. She knows you can hold too many things in sometimes, but this was...heartbreaking.
Your fingers were gripping her shirt, afraid that perhaps, she'd disappear. But you can hear her heart beating, being so near to her chest while you were at her neck.
When she hears you taking too many, far too many breaths, she knows she has to step in. She leans back a little to see you, and you look up at her with your tear filled eyes.
"Look at me...follow my breathing, alright? I don't want you to lose it." She says, her head moving with her movement, but her voice was gentle, yet firm enough for you to keep a focus on her.
She takes a deep breath in from her nose and lets it out from her mouth, encouraging you follow. You eventually manage to do it, after a bunch of hiccups, and slowly regain your normal breathing. Nat nods slightly, her hands moving up to move your hair back, showing more of your face and hoping it makes breathing easier for you, giving you space.
"Take your time, дорогой (darling)." Her eyes move back to yours, the green in her pupils holding the look of a forest. A peaceful one.
"There you go." She quietly said, leaning in to rest her forehead against yours, the touch comforting you. She gives you a small reassuring smile before going up and laying a kiss on your forehead.
"You'll be okay." Your teeth catches your lip as you look at her, and she can tell there were thoughts racing in your head. She runs her thumb lightly on your lips, making you let go of it.
Once again, a black furry cat enters your vision, and it goes in between you and Nat, making the both of you look down for a moment.
You, with your cheeks stained with your tears, Liho walks up to you and rubs her head and body against yours, the gesture making your heart melt.
A teary laugh comes from you, and you reach out to touch it, the soft fur going against your hand. Liho, too, was concerned it seems, from how long you've been sitting outside, but also moves to go to Nat, checking on her too.
The redhead picks the cat up, petting it for a few seconds before setting it aside. Liho sits down, watching the two of you before her attention went to the streetlights turning on. You two stare at her for a bit until your eyes meet each other once more.
She shuffles closer to you once again and you rest your head against her shoulder, the heaviness in your own shoulders and heart having faded away in the mental breakdown. You felt steadier again, just a little more.
"I love you, okay?" She whispered, her eyes on the wooden floor the porch held, but her focus being all on you.
"I love you, too. So much." You couldn't be more grateful for her. She would always be there for you, whether it be through the hard times or the light and happier times.
Liho turns back to you two and goes to lay down between your bodies. The cat always managed to find a way to come in the right times, too.
With every small step you've taken before, you knew you've come this far not to just stop. Even when it's hard. But even so, you shouldn't always hold yourself too strong. Emotions are complicated. That's just how it is, but letting go could always be a relief.
Here you were in the moment, breathing and living with your heart beating lively in your chest. The gentle touch of Nat's fingers brings you back to reality.
Everything was going to be okay.
------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@notevenanna @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @simp-erformarvelwomen
so sorry I had to break your heart like that :')
I'll help you pick up the pieces and give some hugs as an apology<3
"...because it feels like it will."
| W.M ( -> N.R )
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 4
Chapter Warnings: Staying underwater in a bathtub for a couple seconds, relationship problems, avoidance, distancing.
Summary: Everything in your world starts to fall apart.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 5.1k
Category: Angst. Full on aaaaangst.
A/N: this was...a lot. and unlike anything I've written before, but hooooo! I love how it turned out. I was a little late, but I hope you enjoy it <3
| Started on 19/01/2024, 2:28 PM |
| Finished on 05/02/2024, 8:18 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
"When did your heart stop beating as it once used to for me?"
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
Light broke through the window, dawn visiting the sky with the sun. The bed was empty of either of your bodies. Dust could be seen floating around in the sunlight that came in the room.
You were up and about, already having finished showering and wearing your clothes. Wanda on the other hand, had gotten out the house even before you awoke.
Your feet takes you to the kitchen, the dim lighting adding nothing but only sleepiness to your still low energy. Even though you got your rest and showered.
You open the pantry to grab two slices of bread, to then put in the toaster after making sure the timer was set right. The watch on your wrist tells that it was 7:43 AM. You still had time.
As you waited for your bread to toast, you went to make a drink in your mug. Your thoughts drift to the brunette as you do so, not being able to help it.
Wanda had slowly started to not be present. You could say it's work, you could say she's busy or tired, but it was starting to be unavoidable to think about.
With you starting up work again, it being a weekday once more, you weren't sure if you were glad or not. It'll either be a distraction to not thinking about her at all, or more time alone to yourself to only be thinking about her.
A sigh leaves your mouth and you gently shake your head, trying to rid the endless thoughts in your head. Your hands cup the freshly made drink held within the warm mug, letting it sit on the cold marble counters.
Soon enough, your bread pops up from the toaster, and it was nearly perfect aside from the slightly lesser toasted parts. You probably need a new toaster.
Not caring much about it though, you grab a plate and place it on there, making your sandwiches easily for a morning breakfast. The minutes were going by a little quicker with every second you spent eating, and honestly, time was starting to look like its going against you today.
After you rush to finish the last few bites and put the plate in the sink along with your now empty mug, you go to the front door, phone and keys already in your pockets.
The drive to your workplace was a blur, your eyes were focused on the roads and your mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of everything and nothing as you tried to distract yourself with music.
You arrived soon enough and walk through the building, passing by co-workers, and many other people you didn't take mind to put a name to or even know.
Your work was pretty boring, sitting down at a desk with a plastic chair-- Yes, plastic, as there weren't any that were comfortable around the building except for the one in the boss's office.
The only thing that wasn't boring with it was being able to fiddle around with some spotlights and having fun with the colors. Your fingers move around the control board as you set everything up.
As time went by, you finished it up and let the lights do whatever you set them to do. Now, you had a choice to either sit and do something else, or do paperwork.
Although that sounded awful, you went to work on them instead, not wanting to be sore from sitting in the same position for the next few hours on your chair watching whatever show you downloaded on your phone while working on the lights.
The time went by, and you finished up most of it all, until lunch came by and it was time to get a break. You get up from your chair and leave the pen you were holding in your hand to lay upon the papers, going off in search for some food.
You made sure your phone was still in your pocket as you made your way out, your car still waiting for you outside. But, seeing as the place was close, you could just walk there. The sun shone down on you, the heat obvious both from your body warming up, and the bright yellow sunlight across the concrete sidewalk and other buildings.
After you went in the nearby café, you started cooling down a bit, the ac within it easily helping you out. The place was starting to get packed, but you've always had a small little corner you're able to keep for yourself every lunch break.
You go up to the front counter, ordering a few things before you went to the empty table. Your order number was a bit far, but you didn't mind it as you stared out the window. Lucky the sun didn't filter in through the glass here, seeing as it was behind the building.
Your mind then drifted off, stuck on a certain thought ever since you saw the clock strike lunch time. You bit down on your bottom lip and your hand reached in your pocket to grab your phone.
As your fingers unlock it and go through the apps to then scroll in your contacts list, your mind reeled with every possible thing that could happen. You probably shouldn't. You know you shouldn't. But it's worth a try.
Your thumb hovers over her name for a short while, but you give in and tap on the contact, giving in. It switches to calling mode, and you put your phone to your ear, anticipation making your heart beat faster.
The dialing tone keeps sounding out, and you were starting to regret it, but hope lead on with every beep. You hoped it doesn't go to voicemail. And it doesn't.
"Hello?" Her voice comes through the phone clearly, and you let go of a breath you've been holding quietly, looking out the window, so your eyes don't just focus on the plain table. You gather your thoughts, turning them into words.
"Hey. Um, you have lunchtime free, right?" You ask, your eyes moving to the orders list. Your number was going up, but you had enough time to keep talking with her.
"I do...Why?" She asks, as if skeptical of something. Had she forgotten about lunch break? You didn't let the curious thought linger and instead fiddle with the paper in your hand of your order number.
"I was just...wondering, because I do, and well, do you wanna have lunch together?" You say casually, expecting a denial with the many times she has before.
"Sure. Sure, that sounds good." She says, and you raise your eyebrows in surprise. But your heart jumps at the agreement.
"Okay. I'll maybe..." You pause for a second, looking down at the time on your watch. It showed 1:15 PM. "...see you at 1:20 PM?"
"I can be there by 1:30 PM." Her voice elongates some words, probably also checking her own watch as she said it. You smile, happy with her answer nonetheless.
"Okay. See you here." You say quietly, trying your best to keep your cool, like anyone else in the café. Although, they're probably pretty calm at the moment and not getting excited about something.
"See you." She didn't say anything else, and all you heard after was an end call tone. You pull your phone away from your ear, and right when you do, you notice the order list moving to your number.
You stood up, and went to grab it, thanking the cashier. When you sat back, you took a sip of your drink, but nothing more, thinking of waiting for Wanda.
As you waited, and waited, checking the time, your meal was starting to get cold and you were getting hungry. You took a couple bites here and there, enjoying your lunch.
Soon enough it was now getting to 2:20 PM. Your lunch break was ending soon, and you finished up the last of it, but not with someone you were hoping to spend it with. You check your phone again, in case you had somehow missed something even with the past few minutes you looked.
hey, are you coming?
if you have to cancel that's okay, just say it
Sent at 2:00 PM.
Wanda?
Sent at 2:14 PM.
No reply. Your hope was running short, and the café was starting to empty out. You take another look at the empty seat in front of you, then to the window's view of the roads outside. There was no sign of the brunette you much so keep precious.
You sigh, and get up, holding your phone tightly in your hands before storing it back in your pocket. It wasn't much. She was starting to deny spending lunchtime with you, and today was the first in a while she accepted. But it's worse when you find some hope and it escapes from your hands.
You put on your headphones, playing some music as you walked back, knowing the rest of the day you had to just finish up work. Hours and hours passed by and you had to stretch so you wouldn't get sore. But you made it through the end. You always do. The sun was setting as you collected your stuff and exited the building, going to your car.
You soon enough get home, having driven on auto-pilot, which was quite dangerous, but you've made it back unscathed. Or, well, physically. Mentally? You weren't doing so well.
The lock of the front door clicks with the movement of your hands, that then glide off to let your legs be free of your shoes. The place was quiet. A usual greeting whenever you'd come home, but it's gotten quieter, an in between from that horrid silence and just the atmospheric quietness. A void that seemed to swallow you up whole within your mind, replacing the silence.
You sigh heavily, walking to the bedroom. Nothing else was in your mind to do but just to take a shower. Although with how draining a shower in of itself sounded to be, you had decided with another version; the bath.
Your bag and jacket was taken off and thrown gently on the bed as you went to search for some comfortable clothes in the closet. Shirt, another shirt, jacket...Wanda's jacket, hoodie, collared shirt, and then your hand lands on a comfy oversized shirt you'd wear at home.
Sweatpants was swiped off from another part of the closet and put on the bed, ready for you get into after you were done. You go into the bathroom, closing the door behind you and locking it, even though no one else was in the house. Habit, you supposed. Plus, safety.
You turn on the faucet at the bathtub, letting the water run hastily down. You made sure the drain hole was closed and the temperature was just right before turning it off, peeling off your clothes to then carefully climb in the tub.
The warm water eased your tense muscles, the gentle small ripples visiting your skin as you moved to get comfortable. The bathtub was cold as you placed your hands on the sides, a big range in the temperature difference with the water.
Sounds of water tapping from the sink or showerhead every now and then echoes, reverberating off the walls. It was nice. Something to keep you company here and there even if your mind was hazy with thoughts.
Your eyes focus on a part of the wall somewhere in the bathroom, spacing off. You try not to do it for too long, knowing you'll only dig yourself a digger hole with thinking. Slowly, you take a deep breath in and sink into the bathtub, holding your breath in the water while bubbles went to surface.
You can feel the pressure heavy on your head. The water devouring you as you stayed down. After a few seconds though, you pull yourself back up, letting air flow back into your lungs and wiping your hair off your face.
It made you feel more alive, oddly enough, for something that's dangerous. Rather concerning if you thought about it more, but you brush it off and started to do more things, such as cleaning yourself off with some soap, the familiar scent filling the bathroom and making your exhausted soul relax just for a while.
Soon enough, you get out and dry yourself up, making sure the bathtub was drained of any water too. The cold air that visits you when you step out the bathroom, although even with a towel wrapped around your body, still stings your skin.
Your legs take you over to the bed, your hands moving on their own as you wore your clothes, the fabric covering your body and warming you right up easily.
Once you got done, you were right about to drop onto the bed, but then you look around the empty room. You end up staring at the flowers you got her in the corner of the room, sitting atop her desk. You clench your jaw slightly, and walk over to it. But you didn't do anything, really. Only your hand went up to gently touch the soft petals. You take in a deep breath before letting it go, your hand going into a fist as you let out your breath.
You turn away from it and walk back to the bed, shaking your head at your own movements and thoughts. You sat on the bed, the sheets soft on your hand. You then slowly drop down to lay your back against the mattress, your eyes looking up at the blank ceiling while your legs dangles off the edge of the bed.
With the seconds that go by, just as you were about to finally move to the pillows and lay comfortably, your phone dings with a notification. Your heart skipped a beat, and you freeze, a dreading feeling overcoming you.
You think it over and hesitate, not wanting to feel any worse, but having a gnawing feeling to check. But then you prop yourself up with your hands and grab your phone, the screen lighting up with your lockscreen as you clicked the power button.
The time shows up and a few other notifications, but one thing stood out to you most. A message. By who? Well, of course the one that's been on your mind for all of today. Your heartrate speeds up and you read the message.
Hey, sorry, I forgot to tell you I couldn't make it.
I'll try to make it home before you sleep though. Love you.
Sent at 7:34 PM.
Your eyes falter with any spark of hope you had left, and you click the power button once more, turning your phone off and slightly dropping it on the bed, it making a soft thump against the soft mattress. Your phone was fine and safe with the drop, but your heart surely wasn't.
Your throat swells up, and you hold your tongue against your teeth, trying everything within you not to let it get to you, but you slide off the bed and go to sit on the floor, your back resting against the side of the bed now.
A sniffle comes from you and your eyes well up with tears. You didn't want to cry. But with everything-- your lungs do a sharp intake of breath, and you squeeze your eyes shut, pulling your legs up to your chest and hugging your legs with your arms.
Your tears soon leak from your eyes, down to your cheeks and sobs left your mouth. God, of course you were crying. It was just a small thing. Or well, that's what your mind wants you to think. She's never left you waiting just like that.
A few more couple of minutes went by, with you letting out your built up feelings until you calm down a little more. You wipe away the mixed tears that were both from your nose and your eyes, both the skin of your hand and your arm filled with it.
They dried off though as you pulled yourself up off the floor and got back on the bed, your teeth capturing your bottom lip. So many muscles working to keep yourself moving, even though they got a rest in the bathtub, they were kept going even after.
But now, you relax a bit, shuffling to lay your head on the pillow. It was cold, so you go to grab the covers first and pull it over you. You curl up under them, your nose red from the crying. But your body got to rest as your once heavy breaths went softer with every minute.
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
The next day you once more awoke to empty sheets. Again and again. You were starting to question what exactly was happening, because it all seemed to be something rather than just your mind playing tricks on you.
Nothing much happened in the day. You worked at home, doing stuff on your laptop. Once you were done, you laid around relaxing while all at the same time being anxious. While the sun went down, the skies got cloudy, and just as the moon started to glow brightly, rain starts pouring down.
It was getting cozy, with the dim lighting. You watched a show on the tv, but wasn't really waiting on much, just scared of what you'll have to soon face.
As an hour or two go by with you sitting on the couch, you start to get sleepy, your eyes heavy. But right as you shut off the tv and was about to get up, you hear keys clinking near the front door.
You kept your place on the couch, your eyes keeping watch of it, but when you hear a struggle with the keys going in and not unlocking, you stand up, going to go open it for her.
You turn the lock and open it, behind it revealing Wanda who had seemed like she just got up from crouching to grab her keys.
"Hi." She says with a small laugh, smiling sheepishly as she held her keys between her fingers, showing them to you. "Slippery hands."
You didn't react much, only your lips moved to form a straight line as you stepped aside to let her in. She goes in and kicks off her shoes while you closed the door behind her, locking it.
As Wanda went to take off her jacket too, you walk more to her front, your mind only focused on what had happened yesterday.
"You didn't show up yesterday," you say in a whisper, the words coming out of your mouth without much thought. She turns her head to look at you, her mouth open slightly as she took in a breath in surprise but as if moving to say something.
"I got caught up in doing stuff and I...forgot." She puts her keys in her pockets, turning fully to you. That was when she saw your face, how different you seemed than the soft look you'd usually look at her with.
"We had lunch break, Wands." The nickname slipped from your mouth easily, especially in the situation of the confrontation. Your voice was gentle, but stern, and full of emotion.
"I know, but so much is going on and..." she trails off as she looks away from you, and you had hoped she'll go on, but instead she purses her lips and her eyes travel back to you, a breath of a sigh leaving her mouth.
"Come on, it's going to be New Year's soon." Your eyes widen a bit at the mention, having forgotten it was going to be the start of a new year from the weeks you've been lost in. She puts her hands up as if to gesture before she reaches in a bag she had brought home, grabbing something.
"I got us wine." She pulls out the bottle of wine, a small smile playing on her lips as she raises her eyebrows. Surprise was on your face before you furrow your eyebrows, seeing where she was going with this.
"Right...but we should really talk." You say, your eyes following her movement as she walked off to the kitchen, grabbing some wine glasses and popping open the wine.
"Soon, Y/N," she said sternly herself, focused on pouring the drink down in the glasses as you made your way to where she stood near the kitchen island.
"Now, are we going to party or are you going to ruin it?" She finishes up, grabbing a glass full and holding it out for you, her face obvious with expecting you to go with the first choice.
Your eyes flicker from her and the glass, before lingering on the glass. A breath leaves your body through your nose gently and your hand impulsively reaches up to grab it. It was a moment of weakness and you took it.
She smiles and hums, grabbing her own glass and taking a sip. You too, although you took a bit more than she did. The liquid easily ran down your throat, although burning slightly.
"You know what I think we should do?" She sounded out, her eyes looking towards the watch, counting down the hours until New Year's came around. You follow her gaze, and there was around two hours left.
You hum in question, looking back at her. She smiled wider and goes to the drawers nearby, opening one. You gazed curiously at her, wondering what exactly she was up to.
"We should play some Uno." She holds up the box that held the cards, and your eyebrows rose, but finally your lips raise up too slightly.
She goes over to the living room, sitting down on the couch and setting up the cards. You follow behind her, sitting on the bean bag nearby the couch as you wait for your set of cards.
The two of you start the game, it starting off slow until it moved to a few Unos and fails. You had one too many reds now, and really you were starting to hate the color.
She calls out Uno, and you had two cards left. You hoped she didn't have a yellow, seeing as she's been going with your last few reds and blues, but not a yellow.
As it was her turn, she cheers and whoops, throwing her last card onto the pile of uno cards you two played. It was a wild card.
"I won!!" She says, putting her hands in the air, and you had your mouth open in shock, looking at her with an unbelievable expression.
"That's not fair! You're using a wild card." You put your hand out, gesturing towards it. Sure you've seen this strategy before, and even used it yourself, but it definitely frustrated you most times.
"It is fair!" She laughs, drinking more from her glass and finishing the last drop of wine in it, leaving it back on the coffee table next to the stack of cards.
"Nope!" You say, grabbing the pile of Uno cards and gathering them, putting them together properly once more for another match.
"Is!" She exclaims with a smile and a tilt of her head, watching you shuffle the cards when you got them all.
Soon after a couple more rounds, and a couple more wine refills, the two of you get drunker as time inched to New Year's, your happiness only there because the alcohol riled you up.
"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" She asks, laughing, and her words slurring as you had your feet in her lap, your back laid on the floor while hers was against the couch.
"Because we are extremely drunk. That's how." You say through a giggle, putting up your index finger as if to make a point.
You moved to sit up and shuffle to sit beside her instead of laying down, her gaze focused on the time. You smile, looking at her lovestruck, although drunk. You then whisper, "I love you."
But she only went with, "Andddd...Happy New Year's!!" She puts her hands up and turns to you, going in to kiss you on your lips. Your eyebrows raise in surprise, but you take it.
That was how that night turned out. You both went on, and danced, and did other things until you fell asleep. The morning was ruined with a horrid hangover, but you managed, somehow. Wanda just spent her day by going with sleeping longer.
And then, in the span of months, the relationship you built so carefully with love and passion, through four months, started to fall down. All along with your heart. Slowly. Oh, so slowly.
You started to only see her in the middle of the nights, whenever the bed dips and you wake up just slightly. Most times she wouldn't even bother to go close to you and pull you close. Just keeping her distance.
On some random day, you decide to break and pick up your phone, being unable to deal with any of it anymore.
You go through the grueling process of going to your contacts and searching her up once more, your fingers not hesitating to tap on the call button.
And as you wait, you hear the calling noise sound out. That sickening. Call tone. But after just a few more, she picks up.
"Hello?" She says, and you could hear a bit of her sokovian accent coming out. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. She only did that when she was angry or something, but you went on with your plan.
"Wanda, we need to talk." You say, although slightly calmly, you were certainly trying your best to keep yourself grounded than splutter out all the words and questions in your head.
"Yeah?" She says in a breath, and you can hear something in the background. You assume she dropped something, because it sounded like clutter.
"Why are you being so distant lately?" You slowly ask, and she went silent. It left you sitting in your thoughts as to what exactly she was doing on the other side of the call.
Probably thinking about her next words. Probably 'busy with work,' probably this, probably that. Then you hear her take in a breath.
"...I think we need to take a break." She says suddenly. You were expecting it. Not that sentence, and certainly not that straightforward. You were expecting her to say, 'We need to break up.' But your mouth would be open slightly either way.
This was happening on a phone call. Of all the times you could be together, and she decides to do it over the phone. Sure, you rang her up, but it was to go in the direction of communication, not to do something a little extreme.
"What? Wanda, what we need least of all is a break. Honestly, we need more time together than less." You say in disbelief and scoff, knowing you had spent less time than you ever had the start of last year.
"Communication. We need that. Please, we've been through this before." Your voice came out more gently, and a little shakily, your thoughts having gone to the past but not lingering.
"I tried spending time with you. It's just...I don't know, Y/N." She said in frustration, and your eyes roll slightly then move around the room, looking at every furniture here as you tried to make sense of the situation and find more words to say to her.
"What do you mean, you 'don't know'??" You question. She was either just as confused of her emotions or feelings just as you were or, she was holding something back.
"I love you, you know that. But I...don't think we can work right now." She said urgently at first before transitioning to a slower pace in her talking. Your eyes well up with tears, and it took everything in you not to straight up hang up the phone. You had to deal with this even through the tears while talking to her. You took a deep breath.
"Talk, Wanda." You say, and she goes quiet once more. This time, perhaps out of guilt. The silence was deafening, and you had nothing to focus on except for the hardwood flooring and the carpet.
"I...think I'm falling out of love with you." At that, your heart drops. Her voice was shaky too, and full of emotions. Way more than you've ever heard for the past few days.
"What...?" The word comes out in a breath from your mouth. It didn't feel real. This didn't feel real. Your heart didn't even feel like it was beating anymore. Was this one of your nightmares? Well, it's a real one, that's for sure, with the texture of the couch felt against the skin of your hands.
"I don't wanna fight with you and...you're making no sense." You look up and sniffle, trying your best not to let yourself cry while still on the call. Wanda was silent.
"But okay. If that's what you really want." You nod continuiously, your voice obvious in sounding like you're about to tear up. And you were.
"I'll see you later, Y/N." She said. You didn't even get the chance to hang up, the ending tone sounding out and echoing. The silence wasn't a welcome back at all. A welcome to hell? Maybe.
You sat with your shoulders slumping, processing what had just happened, and you finally break, crying once again.
The rest of the day was filled with dread and like your heart was getting beat and shattered to a million peaces. You had retreated to the comfort of your bed, laying in it and letting your tears stain the pillow you laid your head on.
You slept all alone.
But you'd do it over and over again for her. Just because you believed it'll pass with time. Just because...you didn't want to let go yet. Just a little longer.
You only saw her once in december. And it wasn't even really december anymore, it was new year's day. Plans that started every now and then, though rare, was getting cancelled.
She seemed like she was getting sick to her stomach every time she met you face to face once more. Either that or your mind was tricking you.
Your body subconsciously moved every now and then, searching for the warmth of another body next to you, but there wasn't one, and your body had found your own warmth by curling up instead.
end of chapter 4. </3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 3
---------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
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AAAH so glad you enjoyed it!! it took me a while 'cause I had no free time last month, but it was fun to make :]
thief.
| N.R
Warnings: None
Summary: When you go about making your meal for breakfast, it had mysteriously disappeared, leading to an obvious suspect of a redhead.
Word Count: 784
Category: fluff<3
A/N: I've missed writing fluff very very much and this was for @ncsdlr, inspired by their post of nat so here's a cute short little fic about it :]
| Started on 06/03/2024, 5:53 AM |
| Finished on 06/03/2024, 8:58 AM |
Main Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
“What's yours is mine, is it not?"
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
You stood in the kitchen, making a delicious sandwich for breakfast and maybe even to enjoy later after training if you don't finish.
At the moment, you were alone up until Thor walks in, going off to the pantry cabinet, assumingly looking for a poptart or cereal for his morning breakfast.
You turn from your plate of sandwich, walking to the fridge and opening it to grab some water. But when you close it and go back to take a bite of your food, it had disappeared, only a few crumbs of the bread and the sauce you put a trace of evidence of your sandwich that once existed right there.
"What the...Where did my sandwich go?" Your voice was full of confusion and shock as you blink, staring at it. Then, you look around, and notice Thor first, standing in the kitchen with you.
"Thor," you say, your expression deadpanned, and he pops his head out from behind the cabinet door, his mouth open in the way you called his name. He hadn't done anything, and even just by the tone of your voice, he knew you were accusing him of something.
Then he notices your empty plate that had a delicious looking sandwich he once saw when he walked in. You couldn't have finished it in seconds. That's when he figured out why you looked a little ticked.
"I did no such thing! I have been standing right here, and my hands are empty." He gestured with his hands, his face in utter disbelief. Your eyebrows furrow further in thought.
"Who is it then?" You raised your hands, your eyes still focused on him. He grabs a box of pop tarts out from the cabinet, opening it to slide a packet out. He looks up at you before going to the microwave, but he stops in his tracks.
"Just make...another one." He pauses in between his words as he notices a redhead passing by, holding an oddly similar sandwich to yours, chewing carelessly. He was too afraid to point it out, knowing the assassin might just kill him if he does.
But you see his eyes following something behind you rather than looking directly at you, so you slowly turn to look at who was there.
A small gasp escapes you. Natasha, stood right beside your empty plate, having come from nowhere. She was staring right at you, holding the exact sandwich you had just made minutes ago, that had disappeared.
"Thief," you exclaim, walking closer to the kitchen island where she's at and putting your hand on it, holding yourself against it. She swallows before speaking up.
"It's not stealing if you left it there," she shrugs, the sandwich moving along with her hand, and you had to process her words for a moment until you let out a small laugh.
"That's the same thing." You tilt your head slightly as you said it, her sentence making no sense. If it was anyone else, you might have already chased them around the room already to retrieve your sandwich.
"Why didn't you just make one yourself?" Thor had left the kitchen by now, enjoying his pop tart by himself while you and Nat continued your playful conversation.
"It's not the same," she says, and at that, you shake your head. Her face was calm, but her eyes held a hint of teasing.
"Well, then, you could have just asked," you mumble. Nat stays quiet, studying your face. She could have just asked, but she also loved poking at you for fun.
"Now I need to make another one." You complained as you pick up your plate, about to go grab the loaf of bread once again while your stomach complained at the late breakfast.
"You can have it back." She holds out the sandwich to you, even though it was clear she had already eaten more than you thought she had.
"No, you've already had a bite of it, keep it." Or more so, multiple bites. You wave your free hand that wasn't holding the plate dismissively, not minding since it was well...Nat, but you were a tinge upset.
She sees the adorable pout your face held, and a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips.
"I'll make one for you, how's that?" Nat stands up from the barstool standing tall for the kitchen island, moving to the counters to grab the ingredients. When she turns her head to look over her shoulder, she takes your smile as an acceptance.
Later on, the two of you enjoyed your sandwiches that you had, one being 'accidentally' made for the other, and one being especially made for the other.
--------------
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R really had a chance! but they loved wanda too much to have just given up so quickly. hope is a torturous thing :(
"...because it feels like it will."
| W.M ( -> N.R )
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 4
Chapter Warnings: Staying underwater in a bathtub for a couple seconds, relationship problems, avoidance, distancing, alcohol, getting drunk.
Summary: Everything in your world starts to fall apart.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 5.1k
Category: Angst. Full on aaaaangst.
A/N: this was...a lot. and unlike anything I've written before, but hooooo! I love how it turned out. I was a little late, but I hope you enjoy it <3
| Started on 19/01/2024, 2:28 PM |
| Finished on 05/02/2024, 8:18 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 3 Chapter 5 ->
"When did your heart stop beating as it once used to for me?"
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
Light broke through the window, dawn visiting the sky with the sun. The bed was empty of either of your bodies. Dust could be seen floating around in the sunlight that came in the room.
You were up and about, already having finished showering and wearing your clothes. Wanda on the other hand, had gotten out the house even before you awoke.
Your feet takes you to the kitchen, the dim lighting adding nothing but only sleepiness to your still low energy. Even though you got your rest and showered.
You open the pantry to grab two slices of bread, to then put in the toaster after making sure the timer was set right. The watch on your wrist tells that it was 7:43 AM. You still had time.
As you waited for your bread to toast, you went to make a drink in your mug. Your thoughts drift to the brunette as you do so, not being able to help it.
Wanda had slowly started to not be present. You could say it's work, you could say she's busy or tired, but it was starting to be unavoidable to think about.
With you starting up work again, it being a weekday once more, you weren't sure if you were glad or not. It'll either be a distraction to not thinking about her at all, or more time alone to yourself to only be thinking about her.
A sigh leaves your mouth and you gently shake your head, trying to rid the endless thoughts in your head. Your hands cup the freshly made drink held within the warm mug, letting it sit on the cold marble counters.
Soon enough, your bread pops up from the toaster, and it was nearly perfect aside from the slightly lesser toasted parts. You probably need a new toaster.
Not caring much about it though, you grab a plate and place it on there, making your sandwiches easily for a morning breakfast. The minutes were going by a little quicker with every second you spent eating, and honestly, time was starting to look like its going against you today.
After you rush to finish the last few bites and put the plate in the sink along with your now empty mug, you go to the front door, phone and keys already in your pockets.
The drive to your workplace was a blur, your eyes were focused on the roads and your mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of everything and nothing as you tried to distract yourself with music.
You arrived soon enough and walk through the building, passing by co-workers, and many other people you didn't take mind to put a name to or even know.
Your work was pretty boring, sitting down at a desk with a plastic chair-- Yes, plastic, as there weren't any that were comfortable around the building except for the one in the boss's office.
The only thing that wasn't boring with it was being able to fiddle around with some spotlights and having fun with the colors. Your fingers move around the control board as you set everything up.
As time went by, you finished it up and let the lights do whatever you set them to do. Now, you had a choice to either sit and do something else, or do paperwork.
Although that sounded awful, you went to work on them instead, not wanting to be sore from sitting in the same position for the next few hours on your chair watching whatever show you downloaded on your phone while working on the lights.
The time went by, and you finished up most of it all, until lunch came by and it was time to get a break. You get up from your chair and leave the pen you were holding in your hand to lay upon the papers, going off in search for some food.
You made sure your phone was still in your pocket as you made your way out, your car still waiting for you outside. But, seeing as the place was close, you could just walk there. The sun shone down on you, the heat obvious both from your body warming up, and the bright yellow sunlight across the concrete sidewalk and other buildings.
After you went in the nearby café, you started cooling down a bit, the ac within it easily helping you out. The place was starting to get packed, but you've always had a small little corner you're able to keep for yourself every lunch break.
You go up to the front counter, ordering a few things before you went to the empty table. Your order number was a bit far, but you didn't mind it as you stared out the window. Lucky the sun didn't filter in through the glass here, seeing as it was behind the building.
Your mind then drifted off, stuck on a certain thought ever since you saw the clock strike lunch time. You bit down on your bottom lip and your hand reached in your pocket to grab your phone.
As your fingers unlock it and go through the apps to then scroll in your contacts list, your mind reeled with every possible thing that could happen. You probably shouldn't. You know you shouldn't. But it's worth a try.
Your thumb hovers over her name for a short while, but you give in and tap on the contact, giving in. It switches to calling mode, and you put your phone to your ear, anticipation making your heart beat faster.
The dialing tone keeps sounding out, and you were starting to regret it, but hope lead on with every beep. You hoped it doesn't go to voicemail. And it doesn't.
"Hello?" Her voice comes through the phone clearly, and you let go of a breath you've been holding quietly, looking out the window, so your eyes don't just focus on the plain table. You gather your thoughts, turning them into words.
"Hey. Um, you have lunchtime free, right?" You ask, your eyes moving to the orders list. Your number was going up, but you had enough time to keep talking with her.
"I do...Why?" She asks, as if skeptical of something. Had she forgotten about lunch break? You didn't let the curious thought linger and instead fiddle with the paper in your hand of your order number.
"I was just...wondering, because I do, and well, do you wanna have lunch together?" You say casually, expecting a denial with the many times she has before.
"Sure. Sure, that sounds good." She says, and you raise your eyebrows in surprise. But your heart jumps at the agreement.
"Okay. I'll maybe..." You pause for a second, looking down at the time on your watch. It showed 1:15 PM. "...see you at 1:20 PM?"
"I can be there by 1:30 PM." Her voice elongates some words, probably also checking her own watch as she said it. You smile, happy with her answer nonetheless.
"Okay. See you here." You say quietly, trying your best to keep your cool, like anyone else in the café. Although, they're probably pretty calm at the moment and not getting excited about something.
"See you." She didn't say anything else, and all you heard after was an end call tone. You pull your phone away from your ear, and right when you do, you notice the order list moving to your number.
You stood up, and went to grab it, thanking the cashier. When you sat back, you took a sip of your drink, but nothing more, thinking of waiting for Wanda.
As you waited, and waited, checking the time, your meal was starting to get cold and you were getting hungry. You took a couple bites here and there, enjoying your lunch.
Soon enough it was now getting to 2:20 PM. Your lunch break was ending soon, and you finished up the last of it, but not with someone you were hoping to spend it with. You check your phone again, in case you had somehow missed something even with the past few minutes you looked.
hey, are you coming?
if you have to cancel that's okay, just say it
Sent at 2:00 PM.
Wanda?
Sent at 2:14 PM.
No reply. Your hope was running short, and the café was starting to empty out. You take another look at the empty seat in front of you, then to the window's view of the roads outside. There was no sign of the brunette you much so keep precious.
You sigh, and get up, holding your phone tightly in your hands before storing it back in your pocket. It wasn't much. She was starting to deny spending lunchtime with you, and today was the first in a while she accepted. But it's worse when you find some hope and it escapes from your hands.
You put on your headphones, playing some music as you walked back, knowing the rest of the day you had to just finish up work. Hours and hours passed by and you had to stretch so you wouldn't get sore. But you made it through the end. You always do. The sun was setting as you collected your stuff and exited the building, going to your car.
You soon enough get home, having driven on auto-pilot, which was quite dangerous, but you've made it back unscathed. Or, well, physically. Mentally? You weren't doing so well.
The lock of the front door clicks with the movement of your hands, that then glide off to let your legs be free of your shoes. The place was quiet. A usual greeting whenever you'd come home, but it's gotten quieter, an in between from that horrid silence and just the atmospheric quietness. A void that seemed to swallow you up whole within your mind, replacing the silence.
You sigh heavily, walking to the bedroom. Nothing else was in your mind to do but just to take a shower. Although with how draining a shower in of itself sounded to be, you had decided with another version; the bath.
Your bag and jacket was taken off and thrown gently on the bed as you went to search for some comfortable clothes in the closet. Shirt, another shirt, jacket...Wanda's jacket, hoodie, collared shirt, and then your hand lands on a comfy oversized shirt you'd wear at home.
Sweatpants was swiped off from another part of the closet and put on the bed, ready for you get into after you were done. You go into the bathroom, closing the door behind you and locking it, even though no one else was in the house. Habit, you supposed. Plus, safety.
You turn on the faucet at the bathtub, letting the water run hastily down. You made sure the drain hole was closed and the temperature was just right before turning it off, peeling off your clothes to then carefully climb in the tub.
The warm water eased your tense muscles, the gentle small ripples visiting your skin as you moved to get comfortable. The bathtub was cold as you placed your hands on the sides, a big range in the temperature difference with the water.
Sounds of water tapping from the sink or showerhead every now and then echoes, reverberating off the walls. It was nice. Something to keep you company here and there even if your mind was hazy with thoughts.
Your eyes focus on a part of the wall somewhere in the bathroom, spacing off. You try not to do it for too long, knowing you'll only dig yourself a digger hole with thinking. Slowly, you take a deep breath in and sink into the bathtub, holding your breath in the water while bubbles went to surface.
You can feel the pressure heavy on your head. The water devouring you as you stayed down. After a few seconds though, you pull yourself back up, letting air flow back into your lungs and wiping your hair off your face.
It made you feel more alive, oddly enough, for something that's dangerous. Rather concerning if you thought about it more, but you brush it off and started to do more things, such as cleaning yourself off with some soap, the familiar scent filling the bathroom and making your exhausted soul relax just for a while.
Soon enough, you get out and dry yourself up, making sure the bathtub was drained of any water too. The cold air that visits you when you step out the bathroom, although even with a towel wrapped around your body, still stings your skin.
Your legs take you over to the bed, your hands moving on their own as you wore your clothes, the fabric covering your body and warming you right up easily.
Once you got done, you were right about to drop onto the bed, but then you look around the empty room. You end up staring at the flowers you got her in the corner of the room, sitting atop her desk. You clench your jaw slightly, and walk over to it. But you didn't do anything, really. Only your hand went up to gently touch the soft petals. You take in a deep breath before letting it go, your hand going into a fist as you let out your breath.
You turn away from it and walk back to the bed, shaking your head at your own movements and thoughts. You sat on the bed, the sheets soft on your hand. You then slowly drop down to lay your back against the mattress, your eyes looking up at the blank ceiling while your legs dangles off the edge of the bed.
With the seconds that go by, just as you were about to finally move to the pillows and lay comfortably, your phone dings with a notification. Your heart skipped a beat, and you freeze, a dreading feeling overcoming you.
You think it over and hesitate, not wanting to feel any worse, but having a gnawing feeling to check. But then you prop yourself up with your hands and grab your phone, the screen lighting up with your lockscreen as you clicked the power button.
The time shows up and a few other notifications, but one thing stood out to you most. A message. By who? Well, of course the one that's been on your mind for all of today. Your heartrate speeds up and you read the message.
Hey, sorry, I forgot to tell you I couldn't make it.
I'll try to make it home before you sleep though. Love you.
Sent at 7:34 PM.
Your eyes falter with any spark of hope you had left, and you click the power button once more, turning your phone off and slightly dropping it on the bed, it making a soft thump against the soft mattress. Your phone was fine and safe with the drop, but your heart surely wasn't.
Your throat swells up, and you hold your tongue against your teeth, trying everything within you not to let it get to you, but you slide off the bed and go to sit on the floor, your back resting against the side of the bed now.
A sniffle comes from you and your eyes well up with tears. You didn't want to cry. But with everything-- your lungs do a sharp intake of breath, and you squeeze your eyes shut, pulling your legs up to your chest and hugging your legs with your arms.
Your tears soon leak from your eyes, down to your cheeks and sobs left your mouth. God, of course you were crying. It was just a small thing. Or well, that's what your mind wants you to think. She's never left you waiting just like that.
A few more couple of minutes went by, with you letting out your built up feelings until you calm down a little more. You wipe away the mixed tears that were both from your nose and your eyes, both the skin of your hand and your arm filled with it.
They dried off though as you pulled yourself up off the floor and got back on the bed, your teeth capturing your bottom lip. So many muscles working to keep yourself moving, even though they got a rest in the bathtub, they were kept going even after.
But now, you relax a bit, shuffling to lay your head on the pillow. It was cold, so you go to grab the covers first and pull it over you. You curl up under them, your nose red from the crying. But your body got to rest as your once heavy breaths went softer with every minute.
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
The next day you once more awoke to empty sheets. Again and again. You were starting to question what exactly was happening, because it all seemed to be something rather than just your mind playing tricks on you.
Nothing much happened in the day. You worked at home, doing stuff on your laptop. Once you were done, you laid around relaxing while all at the same time being anxious. While the sun went down, the skies got cloudy, and just as the moon started to glow brightly, rain starts pouring down.
It was getting cozy, with the dim lighting. You watched a show on the tv, but wasn't really waiting on much, just scared of what you'll have to soon face.
As an hour or two go by with you sitting on the couch, you start to get sleepy, your eyes heavy. But right as you shut off the tv and was about to get up, you hear keys clinking near the front door.
You kept your place on the couch, your eyes keeping watch of it, but when you hear a struggle with the keys going in and not unlocking, you stand up, going to go open it for her.
You turn the lock and open it, behind it revealing Wanda who had seemed like she just got up from crouching to grab her keys.
"Hi." She says with a small laugh, smiling sheepishly as she held her keys between her fingers, showing them to you. "Slippery hands."
You didn't react much, only your lips moved to form a straight line as you stepped aside to let her in. She goes in and kicks off her shoes while you closed the door behind her, locking it.
As Wanda went to take off her jacket too, you walk more to her front, your mind only focused on what had happened yesterday.
"You didn't show up yesterday," you say in a whisper, the words coming out of your mouth without much thought. She turns her head to look at you, her mouth open slightly as she took in a breath in surprise but as if moving to say something.
"I got caught up in doing stuff and I...forgot." She puts her keys in her pockets, turning fully to you. That was when she saw your face, how different you seemed than the soft look you'd usually look at her with.
"We had lunch break, Wands." The nickname slipped from your mouth easily, especially in the situation of the confrontation. Your voice was gentle, but stern, and full of emotion.
"I know, but so much is going on and..." she trails off as she looks away from you, and you had hoped she'll go on, but instead she purses her lips and her eyes travel back to you, a breath of a sigh leaving her mouth.
"Come on, it's going to be New Year's soon." Your eyes widen a bit at the mention, having forgotten it was going to be the start of a new year from the weeks you've been lost in. She puts her hands up as if to gesture before she reaches in a bag she had brought home, grabbing something.
"I got us wine." She pulls out the bottle of wine, a small smile playing on her lips as she raises her eyebrows. Surprise was on your face before you furrow your eyebrows, seeing where she was going with this.
"Right...but we should really talk." You say, your eyes following her movement as she walked off to the kitchen, grabbing some wine glasses and popping open the wine.
"Soon, Y/N," she said sternly herself, focused on pouring the drink down in the glasses as you made your way to where she stood near the kitchen island.
"Now, are we going to party or are you going to ruin it?" She finishes up, grabbing a glass full and holding it out for you, her face obvious with expecting you to go with the first choice.
Your eyes flicker from her and the glass, before lingering on the glass. A breath leaves your body through your nose gently and your hand impulsively reaches up to grab it. It was a moment of weakness and you took it.
She smiles and hums, grabbing her own glass and taking a sip. You too, although you took a bit more than she did. The liquid easily ran down your throat, although burning slightly.
"You know what I think we should do?" She sounded out, her eyes looking towards the watch, counting down the hours until New Year's came around. You follow her gaze, and there was around two hours left.
You hum in question, looking back at her. She smiled wider and goes to the drawers nearby, opening one. You gazed curiously at her, wondering what exactly she was up to.
"We should play some Uno." She holds up the box that held the cards, and your eyebrows rose, but finally your lips raise up too slightly.
She goes over to the living room, sitting down on the couch and setting up the cards. You follow behind her, sitting on the bean bag nearby the couch as you wait for your set of cards.
The two of you start the game, it starting off slow until it moved to a few Unos and fails. You had one too many reds now, and really you were starting to hate the color.
She calls out Uno, and you had two cards left. You hoped she didn't have a yellow, seeing as she's been going with your last few reds and blues, but not a yellow.
As it was her turn, she cheers and whoops, throwing her last card onto the pile of uno cards you two played. It was a wild card.
"I won!!" She says, putting her hands in the air, and you had your mouth open in shock, looking at her with an unbelievable expression.
"That's not fair! You're using a wild card." You put your hand out, gesturing towards it. Sure you've seen this strategy before, and even used it yourself, but it definitely frustrated you most times.
"It is fair!" She laughs, drinking more from her glass and finishing the last drop of wine in it, leaving it back on the coffee table next to the stack of cards.
"Nope!" You say, grabbing the pile of Uno cards and gathering them, putting them together properly once more for another match.
"Is!" She exclaims with a smile and a tilt of her head, watching you shuffle the cards when you got them all.
Soon after a couple more rounds, and a couple more wine refills, the two of you get drunker as time inched to New Year's, your happiness only there because the alcohol riled you up.
"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" She asks, laughing, and her words slurring as you had your feet in her lap, your back laid on the floor while hers was against the couch.
"Because we are extremely drunk. That's how." You say through a giggle, putting up your index finger as if to make a point.
You moved to sit up and shuffle to sit beside her instead of laying down, her gaze focused on the time. You smile, looking at her lovestruck, although drunk. You then whisper, "I love you."
But she only went with, "Andddd...Happy New Year's!!" She puts her hands up and turns to you, going in to kiss you on your lips. Your eyebrows raise in surprise, but you take it.
That was how that night turned out. You both went on, and danced, and did other things until you fell asleep. The morning was ruined with a horrid hangover, but you managed, somehow. Wanda just spent her day by going with sleeping longer.
And then, in the span of months, the relationship you built so carefully with love and passion, through four months, started to fall down. All along with your heart. Slowly. Oh, so slowly.
You started to only see her in the middle of the nights, whenever the bed dips and you wake up just slightly. Most times she wouldn't even bother to go close to you and pull you close. Just keeping her distance.
On some random day, you decide to break and pick up your phone, being unable to deal with any of it anymore.
You go through the grueling process of going to your contacts and searching her up once more, your fingers not hesitating to tap on the call button.
And as you wait, you hear the calling noise sound out. That sickening. Call tone. But after just a few more, she picks up.
"Hello?" She says, and you could hear a bit of her sokovian accent coming out. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. She only did that when she was angry or something, but you went on with your plan.
"Wanda, we need to talk." You say, although slightly calmly, you were certainly trying your best to keep yourself grounded than splutter out all the words and questions in your head.
"Yeah?" She says in a breath, and you can hear something in the background. You assume she dropped something, because it sounded like clutter.
"Why are you being so distant lately?" You slowly ask, and she went silent. It left you sitting in your thoughts as to what exactly she was doing on the other side of the call.
Probably thinking about her next words. Probably 'busy with work,' probably this, probably that. Then you hear her take in a breath.
"...I think we need to take a break." She says suddenly. You were expecting it. Not that sentence, and certainly not that straightforward. You were expecting her to say, 'We need to break up.' But your mouth would be open slightly either way.
This was happening on a phone call. Of all the times you could be together, and she decides to do it over the phone. Sure, you rang her up, but it was to go in the direction of communication, not to do something a little extreme.
"What? Wanda, what we need least of all is a break. Honestly, we need more time together than less." You say in disbelief and scoff, knowing you had spent less time than you ever had the start of last year.
"Communication. We need that. Please, we've been through this before." Your voice came out more gently, and a little shakily, your thoughts having gone to the past but not lingering.
"I tried spending time with you. It's just...I don't know, Y/N." She said in frustration, and your eyes roll slightly then move around the room, looking at every furniture here as you tried to make sense of the situation and find more words to say to her.
"What do you mean, you 'don't know'??" You question. She was either just as confused of her emotions or feelings just as you were or, she was holding something back.
"I love you, you know that. But I...don't think we can work right now." She said urgently at first before transitioning to a slower pace in her talking. Your eyes well up with tears, and it took everything in you not to straight up hang up the phone. You had to deal with this even through the tears while talking to her. You took a deep breath.
"Talk, Wanda." You say, and she goes quiet once more. This time, perhaps out of guilt. The silence was deafening, and you had nothing to focus on except for the hardwood flooring and the carpet.
"I...think I'm falling out of love with you." At that, your heart drops. Her voice was shaky too, and full of emotions. Way more than you've ever heard for the past few days.
"What...?" The word comes out in a breath from your mouth. It didn't feel real. This didn't feel real. Your heart didn't even feel like it was beating anymore. Was this one of your nightmares? Well, it's a real one, that's for sure, with the texture of the couch felt against the skin of your hands.
"I don't wanna fight with you and...you're making no sense." You look up and sniffle, trying your best not to let yourself cry while still on the call. Wanda was silent.
"But okay. If that's what you really want." You nod continuiously, your voice obvious in sounding like you're about to tear up. And you were.
"I'll see you later, Y/N." She said. You didn't even get the chance to hang up, the ending tone sounding out and echoing. The silence wasn't a welcome back at all. A welcome to hell? Maybe.
You sat with your shoulders slumping, processing what had just happened, and you finally break, crying once again.
The rest of the day was filled with dread and like your heart was getting beat and shattered to a million peaces. You had retreated to the comfort of your bed, laying in it and letting your tears stain the pillow you laid your head on.
You slept all alone.
But you'd do it over and over again for her. Just because you believed it'll pass with time. Just because...you didn't want to let go yet. Just a little longer.
You only saw her once in december. And it wasn't even really december anymore, it was new year's day. Plans that started every now and then, though rare, was getting cancelled.
She seemed like she was getting sick to her stomach every time she met you face to face once more. Either that or your mind was tricking you.
Your body subconsciously moved every now and then, searching for the warmth of another body next to you, but there wasn't one, and your body had found your own warmth by curling up instead.
end of chapter 4. </3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 3 Chapter 5 ->
---------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
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"...and it just did."
| W.M ( -> N.R)
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 5
Chapter Warnings: A very emotionally packed chapter, relationship problems, cheating, arguing, anxiety, overthinking, andd...just be prepared.
Summary: The truth unfolds itself easily on a special day.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 8.7k (...yeah)
Category: Angst.
A/N: this chapter has been eeeeverywhere with me. I wrote it in the car, at work, in my bedroom, and even at a hotel room. but, I hope you all enjoy<3 it's a whole lot, so it was quite difficult to finish, but february's over and I have more free time again!
also theres a playlist for this series out now :] in case you need something to listen to while reading. be careful while scrolling the songs to avoid just bits of teensy spoilers<3
Series Playlist
| Started on 10/01/2024, 12:16 PM |
| Finished on 05/03/2024, 3:45 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 4
"What is there to say?"
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
You drag your feet across the wooden floorboards, making your way towards the kitchen. Here it is again, the same routine. But yet this time, you see a sticky note left on the marble counter, illuminated by a dim overhead lighting.
You furrow your eyebrows, but go over to read it anyway, the bright color a big difference to the white counter. 'might not be home until tomorrow,' was written on the piece of paper. Your heart didn't drop as much anymore. Your shoulders only droop a little, as if just a teensy bit more weight had been added.
A quiet breath leaves your mouth. Your hand picks up the sticky note and scraps it up within your palms, throwing it off to a nearby trashcan in the kitchen. Who else needed to read it anyway? It was only for you. Only for you.
You shook your head of the remaining thoughts you had of her, but she couldn't quite leave your mind at least once. Always there. Always lingering. As if you had been cursed. But in honest truth, the only curse you had upon you was the spell of love.
Today was a special day. Key word on the was. Some type of hope swirling in your heart maybe had you looking forward to this day, but all of it had just gone down along with the piece of paper in the trash. Your eyes also flicker to it once more, seeing the many other colored paper sitting scrunched up with the one from just now. At least she had the decency to still leave notes.
But, today was, of course...your birthday. And out of all the people, your favorite person was certainly not present. Maybe she had forgotten, you thought. Maybe she just didn't care enough this year...no, how could she?
You snap yourself out, having stared off at the sunlight shining in through the windows. You go to the fridge to see what was still in there. A bitten sandwich from last night, and some leftover chickens, but your lip forms a line and you close it, your hand dropping off to your pocket to retrieve your phone.
It was currently 9:45 AM, the digits frozen still on the same numbers until the full sixty seconds passes by. Your mind was in a haze, but your stomach was empty and it urged you to find some food. Were you just going to go out by yourself? Your body seemed to stop you from even going to the living room. Take-out was an option, but instead you simply laid your phone down on the counter, it making a small noise, the textures clashing.
You put your head in your hands, covering up your face and sliding your fingers across your skin, your palm cupping your own cheeks as a way to get a grip of yourself.
Your phone came up with a notification of your calendar, getting out with a reminder of your birthday. What great timing. You clear it off your screen and unlock your phone, roaming the apps.
Just as you were about to push yourself off the counter and grab the last of the food in the fridge, your screen changes without you touching anything. The contact name came up with...Carol?
Your face relaxes a bit and your thumb hesitantly goes to pick it up rather than tap on the red button, the ringing going away. The phone goes along with your hand when you put it against your ear.
"Hey Carol." You say casually, trying your best not to sound too questionable, as it wasn't usual that she'd call you. You hear some distinct voices whispering in the background of her side, one sounding like a young kid.
"Hey, just wanted to call and um...check in on you?" Her voice ended up sounding questionable instead, and your face goes into a confused reaction, although a smile growing on your lips. You let out a small chuckle, your eyes roaming the space of the room as you thought of your words.
"'Check in on me?' Come on, you rarely do that." Your hand goes to grab a nearby notebook that's been left on the counter, saved for recipes. "What's up?"
"I just wanted to say happy birthday to you. Maria reminded me and she and Monica got me to...call you." You assume she had a small pause in her sentence because she was looking over at the other two people in the room with her, which was who you had heard earlier.
"That's nice of her. And thank you." The pages of the book was soft against your hands, your fingers tracing and fiddling with some as you smiled softly at the thought of Maria scolding Carol for having forgotten.
"Well that, or, I would probably not have any pancakes for myself right about now." She says, her mouth nearly sounding like it was full. You'd guessed it was.
"Even though you were threatened to wish me, thank you." You add on, laughing gently as you did. There was a page you landed on in the notebook with a cookie recipe. One, specifically where you and Wanda had made together, having shared a wonderful memory that day.
You could feel your heart beat within your chest, the pace going quicker as your eyes looked over the words written on the paper that was accompanied with smiley faces and hearts here and there.
The smile on your face had definitely faltered. You take in a deep breath, letting it out once you let yourself close the book. Carol's voice snaps you back to reality, having remembered you were talking with her.
"I'm kidding, I would've called you up either way. Really though, how are you?" Your teeth sank down on your bottom lip, probably enough to puncture the skin or leave a small mark, but you let it go once you talked.
"I'm...fine. Other than sitting in my house alone not knowing what to do than sulk in bed or contemplating my life choices." With that answer, the blonde definitely knew something wasn't entirely right. She stays quiet for a while, perhaps thinking.
"Do you wanna go out and hang at the bar? We can do some karaoke if you want that as a birthday present." She offers, and the attempt makes you smile weakly. She never really knew what to do for your birthday, not being the type to do birthdays more than just a simple wish to them. But for you, she'd offer to hang out, which is what you love to do most of the time.
"Sorry, but I don't really feel like partying or anything right about now. Well, tempting, but, I just wanna relax." You say quietly, sliding the recipe book back to its original place.
"Okay, then..." Carol trails off as her mind tries to come up with some more ideas. You were about to think she was going to just hang up sooner or later, but then you hear her voice continue with a more interesting take.
"There's the mall." You raise your eyebrows. She couldn't see you with you being over the phone, but she just knew you were probably surprised. And you were.
"And what would we do there?" You ask, your mind unable to conjure up the slightest of an imagination of going to the mall with her in a casual situation.
"Well, we could grab some ice cream, buy some things, go to the arcade, go...I don't know." She suggests, just nearly giving up. She wasn't good at this type of stuff really, she's simply basing it off of the times she and Monica hangs out together. You could at least picture the straight line her mouth forms when she finished her sentence, and you had to resist a laugh.
"Ice cream does sound really good." Your mind opened a little with the simple thought of ice cream. Even though the comfort of your bed and the couch seemed nicer, it's not a lot of times she ends up inviting you to hang out like this anyway.
"The mall it is." The blonde says, and you can hear some clatter over the phone. She had finished her pancakes, you supposed.
"Am I driving or...?" You trail off, fiddling around with your fingers and sliding them against the marble counter, the coldness a difference to the sunlight coming from the window.
"I'll pick you up." You then hear the sound of keys, and you couldn't back out anymore. She was driving to your house to grab you, and it'd be impolite to cancel.
"Okay." You say under a breath, feeling heavier with every second that goes by. The guilt and anxiety was eating you up, but the date on the calendar just next to the recipe book had your mind getting out of the thoughts.
"I'll be there in 10. Please don't be glued to your bed when I arrive," She said, to which you let out a quiet chuckle. You couldn't really tell if it was in a stern way or a soft way, but it definitely pushed you a little more to get up and change your clothes.
"I won't. See you here." You say gently and the end tone sounds out, making you pull your phone away from your ear.
With that decided, you push yourself off the counter, slowly going off to the bedroom. The closet opens easily, revealing the same clothes you see every day. You shuffle through some of the hanged shirts, looking at what to wear.
Soon enough, you pull one out. It easily slides off, brushing against the many other shirts within the closet. Your eyes don't linger on the other ones that weren't yours, and you close the door after grabbing everything else.
Later on, you get finished up with changing your clothes, and now you were only waiting for Carol to arrive. There was something that prickled within your heart, like a roses stem with thorns, a worry that maybe she changed her mind and she actually didn't want to hang out with you. Maybe she was only doing it out of sympathy? But that can't be true. What about all the times she's driven you back home when you got a little too many drinks?
...You take a deep breath and turn away from the wall you were staring off into like it was the abyss. Instead your hands checked that you had everything on you, like your phone, keys, and your watch.
Then, the sound of a car pulling up at the front of the house made you look up, your eyes carefully watching the windows. You see a Nissan outside, and it was obvious it was Carol arriving.
Quickly, you got off the couch while your phone made sound, definitely a text message from her that she's arrived. You open the front door, going outside. Her blonde hair could be seen clearly through the car windows, confirming the person in your head.
You make your way to the car, opening the front passenger door. "Hey," you say gently, going in and and closing the door along with you.
"Hey." your greetings were simple, a usual thing to happen. Carol glanced at you while you buckled in, giving you a small smile before starting to slowly position the car back to the roads.
The car had some old soft rock playing, filling up the quietness. It also had you already moving just a little to the beats, staring out the window as she drove you both to the mall. She's always had good playlists. Sometimes you'd even have an urge to ask her to give you some of her cds.
"So, what are you aiming to steal my money for today?" She jokes after a song, her eyes focused on the roads. You let out a small chuckle, looking over to her.
"I'm not letting you spend your money on me for something that isn't a drink." You shake your head, fiddling around with your fingers in your lap. The blonde notices it when her eyes flicker over to you for a second before returning to the roads.
"It's your birthday, Y/N. You have to have a little fun. Let loose," she says, and you raise an eyebrow, turning your head to her. The last two words were new, at least when it comes out of her mouth.
"Maria's words, not mine." she quickly stated, making a smile grow on your face. You stop fiddling with your fingers and instead intertwine them with each other, your gaze going back to the window.
"Come on, any ideas?" The car stops at a red light, and she looks over to you. You stayed quiet in thought, although nothing much came up. She sees only the side of your head until you made your decision.
"We'll do yours," you say, having unable to think of anything. Your mind was clouded over. Honestly, a part of your body just wanted to lie in bed hopelessly the whole day, but something else pulled you.
"Then it's settled," she nods, the steering wheel turning with her hand as she made a right. You think over her words on the phone call earlier, 'Ice cream, buy some things, arcade', and you start to get just a bit more excited.
"Ice cream first?" You ask, looking to her with hope. She furrows her eyebrows and makes a face to you, and your lip forms a tight line, like a child asking for something and getting scared of the answer.
"Of course ice cream goes first." The car goes forwards once more, the light having turned green. You cheer quietly, and she gently shakes her head at your antics. At least she got you to release the emotional tension you had in your body. Even if just a little.
The rest of the car ride consisted of singing and dancing, the conversations being light. The weight on your shoulders got lifted up just a little bit more. When you were about to arrive and she was going to park, 'Please Mr. Postman' started playing and your face brightened at the intro.
She raised her eyebrows at your quick happiness at the simple song, but smiled and laughed at how fast you got into singing it. Really, it's always been a main song for whenever you hanged out, but it's been so long since she saw you sing it, she got surprised. Soon enough though, she sang with you, the two of you moving in your seats to the words.
When the song ends, she turns off the engine and both of you get out the car. The parking lot wasn't all that filled up, so it was a chance there weren't many people in the mall.
She puts on her cap and walks to the entrance with you behind her, the noise of crows and other birds made sound, echoing from somewhere afar as you made your way to the sliding doors.
The cold air of the mall quickly greeted you like a slap of reality in the face, like waking yourself up with a cold shower after laying in bed for too, too long. A way to make you feel more alive.
The ice cream shop wasn't far, and with how little amount of people were here, the two of you got to go to the counter right when you arrive to order your preferred flavour.
Your eyes watch the ice cream get put on the cone, and you do a little dance when your hand got ahold of it, while Carol was giving her money to the cashier of the total cost.
The cashier smiles at the two of you and says their 'thank you', making you smile back before turning around, Carol easily catching up with you from your slow walking.
The two of you walk and enjoy your ice cream, the coldness definitely making you more free feeling. There were clothing stores, shoe stores, little snack shops, and every other thing you could ever imagine. You passed by each one though, but you did point out some cool looking things here and there to Carol.
Soon enough, you come upon a pet shop and your eyes widen, your lips matching with a smile. You walk towards it, wanting to look at all the animals. Carol had to walk faster so she didn't lose you.
There were parrots, cats, dogs, hamsters, fishes, bunnies, and even some lizards. Your mouth was agape as you stared at some of them, but you walk over to the cats.
"Aw, look!" You point at an orange cat, who's sitting patiently with it's tail smoothly flicking back and forth as it watched people pass by.
Carol was looking at the dogs until you called, making her go over to you to see what you were melted at. As if you hadn't already from the other little animals.
"This one is so cute." You lean forward and capture the attention of the cat, making it stand up and walk closer to you.
Carol's head tilted slightly and her eyes squinted as she inspected the info of the cat. The name, the breed, the date and place of birth... "...Goose. Huh."
"I want to take it home." You blurt out as you let the cat follow your hand around, and its head moves here and there instead of its body. It was a playful cat, a paw going up here and there to reach out to you.
"You should get it if you love it that much." Carol says, with her usual deadpan voice that you honestly find amusing. Although, for this, your face turns deadpanned instead and you stare at her, making her raise your eyebrows at you. It was nearly a staredown.
"Danvers, I cannot take care of a cat...let alone myself." You gesture to the cat, and it looked at you questionably. Your shoulders slump a little at the last words of your sentence, and Carol frowns a little.
"I'm sure it'll be able to help you cope or something." Really, she was thinking in her head of surprising it to you as a birthday present for later tonight when she sends you home.
"Why don't you get it? I think Monica would go crazy." You glance back at her, and she purses her lips, staring at the cat. It was the most vibrant color of all the other cats.
"And Maria would go crazier." She said, turning to you for a second but then going back to the entrance of the shop instead, perhaps making her escape from you flipping the table to her.
"You can convince her." You say, the volume of your voice going up a little considering she's farther away. You take a quick glance back at the cat, hesitating to leave, but going away to catch up to the blonde.
"No, now, we are going to the arcade." You laugh when you hear her stern voice, although something in you knew she had a thought about getting it.
You looked around as you walked, seeing the arcade not far away now, the place lit up by machines and screens. But something caught your eye and made you look twice.
Were you dreaming? Well...having a nightmare? You felt like so. Your body definitely didn't react in a good way. Honestly, your heart felt like you were about to have a heart attack with how fast it was beating.
Carol's hat made shade for her face from the sun coming through the mall's glass roof as she walked. She stops along with you when she noticed, confusion filling her face at the sudden stop.
When she follows your eyes to where you were looking though, immediately her eyes widen and her face was in complete shock just as yours were.
A brunette, green eyes...green jacket...
It couldn't have been.
You look closer on the face, and it was. And her hand was not swinging by itself as she walked.
It wasn't with your hand either, because you were plenty of feet away from her.
It was with someone else. Something in the back of your mind felt like they were familiar, although you couldn't even dare focus on that.
Your whole day-- well, your whole world fell apart right then and there. Just like that.
You can feel your heart beating up to your ears, and it felt like time stopped. And not in the good way. Oh, you wish. You wish it was the time you saw her green eyes staring back at you and the whole world only felt like it held the two of you. But not anymore.
Maybe it was the numbing adrenaline rush of the shock coming through, but you take in a deep breath, ripping your gaze away. You couldn't bare to look at the sight anymore.
You clench your jaw, your hand gripping itself in a fist. Your eyes pooled with tears and Carol looked at you, her own misery at finding out the truth obvious on her face, although she was mostly worried about you.
"You know what? Maybe we can...do this another day." You say, trying your best to not let your voice shake entirely, but it did falter.
"You don't wanna--" She was about to suggest trying to distract yourself with the arcade, but at the same time, nothing could make you feel better after seeing such a thing.
"Just take me home." Your mouth moved quickly and you spoke quietly, your eyes flicking back to the spot where she was walking, but she was out of sights already.
You turn around and walk fast, not wanting to linger anymore. Carol walks with you. There was nothing said as you made your way out and to the car. The lovely sounds of the birds chirping now fell on deaf ears as your legs kept you moving.
The car door opens easily with the pull of your hand, and you get in, but you were careful to not slam the door. Carol gets in after you, and turns on the engine.
Her eyes go over to you. You already had your seatbelt on and had settled in your seat, staring out the window. She was about to say something, but she held her tongue, not wanting to make matters worse.
And what would anyone have to say in this anyway? Your lover left you, replaced you with someone else, and broke your heart. 'It will get better'? The only path to take was to go through the pain and that was it. Until you somehow get back up again.
The music starts up once more, and it didn't make you happy as much anymore. You couldn't even focus on it if you tried. You were trying to blink away the tears and ignore the way your throat was swelling up on the inside.
Carol drives you back home safely, keeping her eyes on you here and there. The ride was quiet other than the music, but it was obvious the tension was high.
There were questions unsaid, many going around in your head, but you didn't wanna trouble her with all of them, and she probably wouldn't know what to answer them with anyway.
Soon enough, you arrive back to your house, and you gently unbuckle your seatbelt. At the corner of your eyes, your tears were starting to seep out, just a little.
Carol makes sure she says something before she regrets just being silent, "Hey," she said quietly, and you look at her, your eyes shining with unshed tears. It was the softest you've heard her voice yet.
"I'm always here, if you need me," she says. She knows it won't be much, but it needed to get out of her head. You nod, and sniffle, trying your best to not cry just yet.
You don't say anything back. If you did, you would've broken right there. Instead, you pull on the car handle and open the door, getting out.
Carol watches you as you leave, and she makes sure you get into your house safely before getting out the driveway.
You close the front door of the house, locking it, and freezing in your tracks, taking in a sharp breath before letting it out as a sigh. You nearly hoped it didn't happen, that you would only do that and just wake up from sleeping right now.
But then you let out a sob and lean back on the closed door. You hide your face in your hands, closing your eyes as you started crying, and your chest wracks with broken sobs.
How could she do such a thing? Did she not love you? Were you simply not enough? Too much? You couldn't stop yourself with the questions roaming your head, overthinking everything as you go. The kindest soul with the warmest heart, now broken into a tiny million pieces just because someone couldn't talk about their feelings. Yet you seem to always find a way to blame yourself for every situation.
Sure, maybe even if she did talk to you, your heart would still break, but would it have felt like this? Would it have felt like your lungs were going to collapse from your cries?
You sniffle, and try your best to steady your breathing, but you couldn't, so you just let it do whatever it wants. You wipe your eyes with your sleeve, but the tears keep flowing, so it barely did much.
Fatiguely, with a heavy body, you made your way to the kitchen. You wanted to go to the bedroom, but it was so far, and everything in there would only make your head spin even more. The couch was a choice, but your eyes linger on that recipe book you had looked through this morning.
Your hand twitches to grab it, but you bite your tongue and instead grip the counter, letting yourself slide down on the kitchen floor. You clutch your legs and curl up. The grip your hands held with the fabric of your jeans were enough to probably rip them.
You still had hiccups leaving your mouth, tears leaving your eyes, and you were definitely about to sob once more. The kitchen tiles blurred from your vision getting clouded with tears.
Your hands clumsily reaches in your pocket to grab your phone, and you somehow made it to your homescreen.
The phone was set down on the floor, your hands shaking as your tears rolled down to your chin and dropped down to stain your shirt.
You look up, trying to gather yourself up, but of course you couldn't. Your body needed to let the emotions out, especially after such a situation.
For a few more long minutes, you sat helplessly on the kitchen floor, your breaths going with their own minds instead of your own. You take a few deep breaths, your legs splayed out in front of you before you sniffle and take one last deep breath.
You sat up a little more properly with the little energy you have, and slide your phone just a bit closer to yourself, your fingers gliding across the screen as you opened your calls app, and hovered your finger over the contact name.
You tap on it, trying your best to recollect yourself before she picks up. Your teeth bites down on your bottom lip, every tone of the calling sound making your heart beat faster.
It ends, and her voice comes through.
"Hello?" There's the soft voice. The gentle, soothing voice that lured you into falling in love.
"Wanda." Your voice nearly faltered, but it kept a little of it's stern tone. Your hand slid down to the kitchen floor, the texture keeping your emotions steady, at least enough for a couple minutes.
"Hey, what's up? Did you see my note?" She asks. She's been lying to your face all this time and you didn't even know it. How blind were you?
"Do you know what day it is today?" You ask, ignoring her own question. You sounded so calm in your own anger you honestly nearly even scared yourself.
"No...what?" She was confused, and you could imagine the innocent act of a face she made.
"It's my birthday." You put simply.
"Oh..." that was all that sounded on the phone, and you knew the call didn't get cut off. She just didn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry I didn't stay Y/N, I...forgot." She says slowly, and it was obvious she was trying to tread her tracks carefully.
"I can come back tonight, I promise." You almost didn't want her to, but you needed to talk it out. You didn't say anything else, not wanting to talk about everything else over the phone.
"Goodbye, Wanda." You whisper, your voice breaking at the end. You were sure she noticed it, but you'd want her to anyway.
You ended the call, tapping on the red button. That wasn't the end of it yet, of course, but for now, your hand only rests on the floor, your body falling limp against the cabinet.
She calls, but you don't hear it. The phone rings, on, and on.
You clench your jaw, tears filling up in your eyes once more. Your hand weakly silences your phone, and for the next couple more minutes, you lay crying, until your throat was dry and your muscles ached from sitting on the floor.
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
The sun had gone down by now, and the moon came out of hiding.
You were no longer on the kitchen floor, but you were on the couch, curled up like a cat. You haven't done anything but cry ever since you got home. Only right now, your tears had dried, staining your cheeks
You hear the front door unlock, and you feel it coming, the moment you've been dreading.
The brunette appears from behind the door, closing it as she went in the house. Her eyes roamed the place, and eventually, it lands on you.
She lets out a sigh of relief when she realized you were still here. You let out a heavy sigh as you sat up properly.
She heard it. Even with the distance, the quietness of the room captured it. Her heart beated harder in her chest.
"Y/N, please, I'm sorry." She pleads as she makes her way to the couch, having carelessly kicked her shoes off, leaving one tilted on its side. You haven't even said anything yet, and you almost feel sorry yourself.
"Hey,"-- You were sitting right beside the armrest, so, she leans over and gently puts her hand on your cheek. --"I love you. I'm sorry."
You gently push away her hand, turning to look at her with your jaw clenching. She can see the anger in your eyes and it had her giving you a little space.
"Do you?" You say, your head moving slightly, and she notices the way the corner of your eyes seemed a little red. You weren't even looking at her. That was only the second part of the situation.
"Yes!" She says her eyebrows furrowed. She raises her hands in exaggeration before moving one up to her hair, sliding it back as she let out a breath. "...Why is that difficult to understand?"
"Well, maybe because you didn't even say anything when I said it to you just a few days ago!" Her mouth opens, and you assumed she was about to argue that she was drunk during that time, but she lets out a scoff, and that's even worse.
"You're pissed off about that too?" She seemed mad, and you nearly regret even blurting out the sentence.
You close your eyes with your hands, just wanting this to end even though it's just started and just barely scratched surface of what you need to talk about...or argue. You hoped it was the first one.
"Of course I am, Wanda! Where have you been?" You try your best to keep calm, but your voice was laced with anger. Hers though, was higher volume than yours.
"At work!" She walks around to the front of the couch, and you slide your hand down your face. Her face looked so believable, but you knew it wasn't the truth. You saw it with your own eyes.
"Bullshit." You whispered, looking at her with tired eyes. She gets confused and sits down on the couch, her eyes focused on you. You shift your position.
"What? I'm not ly--..." Her voice was a little high of a volume, and she doesn't finish her sentence when she hears you take in a shaky breath.
"...I...saw you." You said quietly, and Wanda, having been caught up in trying to make you believe her had to go quiet in thought of what exactly you mean.
She swallows down a lump in her throat, her eyes catching yours.
"Saw me?" She asked, her voice reducing down to almost the same volume as yours.
"You...were with someone else." You were shaking and your breath was trembling. You willed everything in your body not to sob while trying to get the rest of the sentences out. Her eyes widened at your words, and that was it.
"And I know it's not another person, because I saw your face." You point your finger to her, gently pushing on her chest with it to enunciate your words. Gently. You were never the type to lash out or be rough even when you were angry.
She goes quiet. Both pairs of your eyes were welling up with tears, that much was obvious. Any other words she's had before had died in her throat.
You see a tear rolling down her cheek from the side, and you held your hands back from wiping it off.
She looks at you, guilt swimming in her eyes, and she takes a shaky breath in before letting it go.
"...There's really..." She looks away from you, unable to even stare back at you. Your heart felt heavier than you knew it could.
"...nothing I could say or do to make you feel better." She said tearfully, her lips going down as she thought of her next words. She swallows her collected saliva again. That hit you like a million little glass pieces piercing through every part of your living, loving soul.
There really was not much she could reason with other than the fact that it had been true. She's fallen out of love with you, but even she didn't want to admit it.
"I've been with someone else. I...wanted to tell you. I just didn't know how." She admitted with her shoulders going up at her last words. There it was. The truth coming straight out of her mouth. Your lips nearly trembled, but your teeth sank down on it.
"How...long?" You ask, and you almost didn't want to know, but for the sake of closure, you urged on. She stays quiet, her own hands gripping the couch.
"How long, Wanda?" You pressed. Was it a month ago? It couldn't have been longer than that.
"Only after eight months of us moving here." It was before you even had your break. You made the math quickly in your head. You moved in a little more than a year ago, so it's been...six months?
You had been in this devouring hole for six months, and you hadn't even realized it. And she didn't tell you or break up with you. Instead she requested a break. No wonder your hope had died to sparks and to nothingness.
"What?" You whispered under your quivering breath, your head tilting in disbelief as your eyes spilled out in silent tears.
"Wanda." You say her name softly. She looked down in her lap as you let out another breath that nearly sounded like a sob. She sniffles, and you know the both of your hearts are breaking.
"Why?" You ask, although it was more of a thought from your head that spewed out unintentionally rather than a logical question. She couldn't answer. She didn't have an answer herself. It just happened. That's how it always is.
"...I thought you loved me." Your voice was small, as if speaking any louder would make the entire universe disappear in fear, just like your love had.
"I did! Or, I do!! I don't know!!!" She blurts out, not being able to decide which one. Her body had deflated at the high chance of losing you tonight.
"So you fell out of love with me?" Your eyes watch her carefully, and just for a vivid moment, she hesitantly, just barely nods.
"And you didn't think to talk to me about it." You whisper, although it was more of a sentence to yourself. But she heard it anyway. She sighs. She knows she's taken a step she couldn't take back.
Really, how can someone bring up they might be falling out of love with someone else anyway? It's a difficult thing to do. Sure, you'd be heartbroken either way, or somehow you would have been able to work it out, but you supposed something else in you just wished you hadn't suffered all those months hoping for absolutely...nothing.
The two of you sit in the silence of what you'd think is death, not knowing what exactly to do with it all. The love you once had was gone. Or at least...hers.
Something spins around in your head. It's been spinning for ages since she had called to take a break, and you had hoped you never had to say it, but what else was there? You could start over, but this love had already started over before. Or had tried to. Technically it was both. This was the end of the road.
"...It's over." You whisper out into the room, and Wanda finally glanced up at you, her face full of heartbreak. Even though she probably saw it coming. You've seen that look before, and your stomach was about to collapse at even a second of it. You kept the eye contact though, needing to fully close this.
In a way, you searched her eyes, for some reason, still searching for anything that once was. But there wasn't anything but hopeless desperation.
"No...no please, I need you." She says, taking breaths in between as she cried. You hated seeing her like this. But you hated going in circles just as much.
"If you really did, then you wouldn't have done such a thing." She had nothing else to say to that. It had been your breaking point. You averted your gaze and stood up, hesitating for a moment, but eventually going off to the bedroom as she sat there in the consequences of her actions.
You walk into the room and close the door, locking it right after. You gently lean your head against the door, while silent tears freely move down your skin. The supply of water in your body was definitely infinite for today. A part of you wanted to laugh at the mere thought, and just to cope, but you were too tired to even do so.
You take in a breath, looking up to the ceiling as you felt your throat swell up, but you try your best to be quiet. You'd hate for her to hear you sob in the other room. She might be doing the same thing herself. You squeeze your eyes shut for a short time, wishing for it all to just stop.
And technically it's about to.
Gently, you push off the bedroom door and your legs take you to the front of your closet. The next move was obvious.
Your hands clenched theirselves as your eyes stare at the closet doors. You take a look around the room, taking in the space with your eyes lingering on some parts. The book Wanda hasn't finished reading. She stopped reading it ever since she started to disappear. You should have seen the signs.
The little teddy bear she got, the daisies you got her in the corner of the room, the DVDs she has in the TV stand, the music collection you have next to it.
You rip your gaze away and let your hands open the closet doors. A travel bag and a luggage bag was just under the hanged clothes, sitting within a compartment.
With trembling hands, you slide both out, putting them on the bed and unzipping them. It was the same bags you used to move into the house.
You grab some of the clothes you once shuffled through just earlier this morning, making sure to remember which ones are Wanda's, and not yours.
They were placed into the bags, and you stared at the folded shirts. They looked wrong. You throw your head back with a sigh, frustrated. The bed dips when you sat on it, the bags moving along just a little with it.
What are you thinking? The promise to stay, to fight through it all, it had all fallen apart. The one person you didn't leave after just a few months, and yet here you are. Packing. You let your body fall down completely on the mattress, legs dangling while you stared at the ceiling.
How many times have you stared up there? You don't even want to know. Before you lost all motivation and your emotions ran slow, you slowly prop yourself up to your arms and got back up. If you stopped now, you won't be gone in the morning.
Toothbrush, toothpaste, everything else you need and all the essentials. The last of it gets stored in the empty parts, and with the quiet sound of the zipper zipping, it was done.
With a relieved sigh that you could now simply lay on the pillows, your arms splayed out, your body giving up the last of its energy. You definitely couldn't get up anymore to do anything else.
This was the last night you were sleeping in this bed.
The crickets couldn't be any more louder with filling up the silence. You hated it. It felt too short, but all at the same time, it feels like it's gone on for too long.
Your vision faded into black as your mind stayed loud, up until it crept into your dreams. She slept on the couch that night.
In the morning, you woke up heavy and go through everything as if you didn't even sleep. Not even a cold shower helped you. Honestly, it might have just helped numbing the pain in your chest instead. You gather your items, gripping your bags tightly.
What if you just drop them and simply isolate yourself in the room? No. You shook your head, walking over to the door.
Your hand remains on the cold door knob for a short while, and you almost stay long enough to have it warmed up from your skin. It gets twisted though, and you open it.
If not for the sleeping figure on the couch, it would have been an empty room. You walk out to the front door with your eyes lingering on her.
Maybe her love was too good for you anyway. You just couldn't give her enough. Or too much. It didn't even make sense anymore. There was no in between your heart and mind could agree on. Even you didn't know what you were thinking.
Just as you click open the lock and went to open the front door, she slowly awakes. The shuffling makes you turn to look at her. You catch the realization and sadness in her eyes when you locked sights. Damn the loud clicks and creaking sounds of the doors.
"Where are you going?" She asks, but it was more of a question, than her wanting to stop you.
"Somewhere that isn't here." You say quietly, like a secret thats not meant to be said. She stares off into a space in the room, lost in thought.
"I really am sorry." You hold your breath a little longer, waiting for her to say something else. But she didn't.
There wasn't anything possible to heal the broken love you held. Maybe if she gave in, but her hands had been touched by someone else and her lips...perhaps had met another's.
"I love you." You whispered impulsively, although quiet and quick, it made sound to reach her ears nonetheless.
But yet, she was silent.
You stare at her for a second more, and few seconds too long to say you're determined in leaving. She wasn't looking at you.
You take a step to turn, and the door slides open with the pull of your hand.
You take another, then when you're outside and the door closes gently, the quietness of it all consumed you.
You check your belongings, you had your bags, your watch, your phone. You have everything except for her.
You check your last pocket, and in it were the keys to the house. You slide it off and it clinks, a familiar sound that you hated made your heart skip a beat every time you heard it.
You leave it off somewhere at the front of the house, and you hope you don't remember where you put it.
It all blurred together as you went to your car, turned on the engine and drove off. Of course you had a plan in mind. You've thought about it a hundred times, but you never thought you'd go with it.
The car arrives to a stop, near the place of your favorite cafe. But you aren't going out. You just needed to drive away from the house.
"Fuck." You cursed under your breath and slammed your fist on the steering wheel, and somehow your hand had slid down to the horn, making you bump into it and the car beeped loudly. You jumped, and looked around alertedly, but no one was there. The sidewalks were empty.
You relievedly let out the breath you were holding once you made sure you were in the clear. Thankfully, it wasn't lunchtime or the weekend.
"God," the word comes out under your breath as you shook your head. The thoughts in your head were harsh, and your shoulders slumped at it.
"How could I have ever possibly thought I was actually the one?" You whisper to yourself, staring at the logo of the car, still somehow shiny, just sitting there in between the controls even from how much you've driven the car.
You grip the steering wheel, but then you notice your arms being covered in a certain cloth. One all too familiar, one you chose in instinct in the morning. You look down on the sweatshirt you're wearing, and it was obvious. It was Wanda's.
You clench your jaw and your hands move to peel it off yourself, the sweatshirt turning into a jumbled up piece of clothing that was inside-out. You didn't even want to look at it, so you threw it to the backseats. You'll deal with it later.
Soon, you went to grab your phone, your hand shaking as you turned on your phone, trying your best to find a certain contact. You hold the device tighter, trying to stop the shaking. But you couldn't.
When you found it, you were hesitant to tap on it, your mind loud of everything bad that could happen. But it was Kate. You take in a shaky breath and tapped on the call button, exhaling your breath as you put your phone to your ear.
"Hello?" Her voice comes out gently. The kinder tone almost makes you let out a breath of relief. Your shoulders relax only a little though.
"Kate?" You ask in a whisper, fiddling a little with your steering wheel and tracing the round shape, the texture brushing the skin of your fingers.
"Hey, what's up?" It was still gentle, but there was a hint of concern in it. She can already tell something was wrong even though you barely said anything.
"Um...I..." Your breath was shaky, and she could hear it. On the other side of the phone, Kate was frowning, but she stayed quiet as she gave you time to get your words out.
You were nibbling your bottom lip as you thought about how to talk about your situation, and in the midst of the moment-- "...Wanda and I broke up," you spew out the words, your mouth not even caring to follow your mind anymore.
"What? What happened?" She was certainly shocked, and you look out the window, trying to distract yourself while at the same time speaking to Kate.
"She was with someone else," you say. The florist you once saw a few months ago came out of his store, greeting a customer outside. It was like you were watching a scene you were once in, in another person's view.
"Oh, shit." She swore out unintentionally, the surprise taking over her mouth. "Sorry," she apologized quickly, and you can imagine her blinking to get ahold of herself. It almost made you let out a soft chuckle.
"...I'm sorry, Y/N. God, I could never imagine Wanda would have done that." Kate said quietly. She adored your relationship together, that much was true, but she also saw the parts of Wanda that you wish weren't true. Yet this, this was an unexpected turn.
"...And since I left the house, I can't even sulk in bed or anything." You let out a gentle breath of a laugh, but it was more of a nervous one.
"I mean, I should've had a plan but-- we'd just keep seeing each other and it just...hurts." The florist had said goodbye to the customer who bought the flowers. He seemed happy as he rewrote some things on his little chalkboard. That man was definitely living his best life.
"Where are you gonna go?" She asks, and you go silent. You couldn't go to Carol's. You wouldn't. She's living with Maria and Monica and you probably wouldn't have a room to sleep other than in the living room on the couch. You wouldn't want to intrude on her living conditions anyway.
"I don't...really have anywhere to go to, so anywhere, I guess." You sink into your seat, looking down in your lap to stop staring at people. Kate was silent for a moment, and you're guessing she either didn't know what to say, or is thinking about something.
"My place is available to you if you want to come. You're always welcome here," she offers, and your eyes relax while your fingers fiddle with theirselves, thinking it over.
"...If that's okay with you. I mean, I don't want to intrude on anything--" You add on after quickly, but you get cut off by Kate.
"It's fine. Don't worry about it, I've missed having you hanging around. And I promise you, I have two forks and spoons now so we don't have to share one or get a plastic one from Mcdonald's that'll break after a few minutes." She jokes, and that actually made you laugh.
"Okay. Okay, thank you, Kate. I'll be there tomorrow." You sit up more properly, getting ready to drive to the airport. You hadn't visited her in a while, so you already had money ready.
"I will be there to pick you up. Okay? Do not get a cab," she says sternly, and you take in a big breath only to let it out as a small sigh.
"Kate," You say sternly back, wanting to protest and not burden her more. But she hums in disagreement. You know she cared about getting you safe and being the best friend she is, but your head was killing you.
"No. No, Y/N. I am not letting you cry in a cab awkwardly first thing you get out the airport." She argues softly, and you let your shoulders down in defeat. At your silence, she waits.
"I'll let you know when I land." You give in, your voice small.
"Okay, good." You can hear the relief in her voice, and your lip tugs up into the smallest smile
"See you, Kate." You were about to end the call, but she speaks up again.
"Hey."
"Take care of yourself."
"I'll try."
"See you."
The call ends, and you start driving.
end of chapter 5.
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 4
---------------
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oh but they will... :)
( also I've absolutely loved seeing you in my notifs but I just realized a lot of my past reblogs diiiid NOT post because someone would interrupt me, tumblr refreshes, and I'd end up forgetting until like days later :( )
stranger.
| W.M -> N.R
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 7
Chapter Warnings: A little overthinking here and there, but thats basically it
Summary: After days of trying to move on from a break up, you were still stuck in your head, although when you're in a walk outside with Lucky the pizza dog, everything jumps the start of a change.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 4k
Category: mostly fluff, some hurt/comfort?
A/N: just wanted to say I'm giving hugs to all of you :]
Series Playlist
| Started on 31/03/2024, 7:10 AM |
| Finished on 08/04/2024, 12:00 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 6
"Every decision is sensitive anyway."
|—————————— ➳ⴵ➳ ——————————|
A week or so later, as the birds flew in a small group, the morning air wakes you up gently. The cold orange glow filling the walls told you the sun had gone up. You hadn't been in this bedroom for a while now, but even so, New York's feeling with the cars bustling in the background was still captured.
You blink the sleep away, the comforter around you keeping you warm while the chilly air still met your face. This was the best part of a morning. A feeling you almost can't describe.
The bed was only big enough to fit you, so it didn't feel like there was much of an empty space beside you, but it's not where the heartbreak would just end instantly.
You turn on your side, your hand clumsily grabbing your phone as you yawned. The cable charging the phone moved along with it, making sounds of it hitting the side of the bed.
All that was in your mind was to simply check the time or catch up on anything you missed whilst sleeping, but when your thumb clicks on the power button, the screen shows a whole load of missed calls along with messages-- both from yesterday, today, and all the days before.
Deflating a bit, you sigh, your hand holding the device falling down onto the bed as you tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in your heart.
You stare at the walls and ceiling for a moment, your hands gripping whatever they held before you turn back to your phone and let your finger impulsively tap on a button.
Clear Notifications
They disappear from the screen, leaving it empty and now only showing your lockscreen. But you don't linger any longer on your phone, putting it back down and facing the other way instead, where the windows sat with its edges illuminated.
Technically they aren't entirely gone. Though, at least they aren't sitting there screaming at you just as you look at your phone.
You wanted to pull the covers over yourself and bury your face into the pillow, the comforting warmth of the bed only luring you to, but, you started to see the light only growing brighter as the sun was going further up.
As you took a deep breath to prepare for the day ahead, you pull the covers off yourself, begrudgingly pushing yourself with your arms to sit up. You wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway.
And besides, if you did, you were sure Kate or Lucky would come in your room and wake you up so you weren't just stuck in your bed all day.
Slowly, you move to let your feet touch the floor before finally standing up, the bed creaking slightly. The small breeze in your movement and not having any more protection of warmth from the covers had a shiver going down your spine, but it soon faded away.
The trail you went to get to the bathroom was slow. Well, it was more just you lingering by leaning your back on the frame of the bed, pulling the curtains slightly to look out the window, stretching, or resting your elbows on the chestdrawer as you ran your hands down your face to gather yourself together.
The way the sunlight fades away due to a cloud blocking it and darkening the room, it only made you want to just further on give up on all the things your body needs.
But you shake your head, going into the bathroom as your thoughts dissolve only to one, and that is, going into the bathroom. You turn on the sink, splashing your face with cold water so you could wake up.
That definitely did something. You blink and reach over to grab a towel, wiping the water off your face. Yet still, a yawn makes it way out your mouth as you walk to the shower. You peel your clothes off to then step in, making sure the temperature was right.
The water ran down your skin and soothed your sore morning muscles. Minutes pass by later with warmth and you soon step out the bathroom with your hair dripping. The curtains at the windows swayed along with the wind from the ceiling fan, making the sunlight peeking through, dancing along the floor and the walls.
You open the closet doors, letting your fingers gently grab the clothes that were stored within it to slip on. Once you finish, you walk over to your bed to grab your bluetooth headphones, your thumb clicking on the power button.
When it didn't turn on, your shoulders fall down slightly. It had ran out of battery and you forgot to charge it. Reluctantly, you change the wire on your charger from your phone's and plug it to the headphones. Then, your eyes linger on your bedside table, seeing your wired earphones sitting atop it, one earbud dangling off the side and moving slightly.
Your hand picks it up and you grab out your phone, connecting it so you could play some music. The earbuds fitted your ears comfortably as you made your way to the bedroom door, opening it with a click.
Looking out, you find the living room and kitchen to be empty, but you do find a sleeping Lucky laying lazily at the couch. The refrigerator hummed quietly while your legs took you to it, the doors opening smoothly. Feeling fancy as the gentle rhythm of your song continued on, you grab some eggs, opting to cook it and eat it with some toast.
When the doors closed, you see a bright colored note stuck onto the fridge, written down by Kate it seems. It had 'take Lucky out on a walk!' upon it, and you tilted your head, humming. There was nothing much to really do today anyway, so maybe it would do some good to go out on a walk. Especially with Lucky.
You grab the pan and turn on the heat, warming it up before cracking open the eggs. The sizzles sound out through the apartment, and right as you were about to move and get a drink from the fridge, you feel a nose boop against your leg.
Looking down, your eyes land on the golden retriever that was sitting on the couch earlier, looking up at you happily, his tail wagging gently.
A soft giggle made its way out your mouth at the sight. "Morning, Lucky," Your hand gently goes through his fur, scratching behind his ear for a few seconds before you boop his nose.
He follows you as you go to the fridge, grabbing out the carton that held orange juice. You check on the eggs and make sure you don't accidentally get them burnt, finishing them up first by sliding them on a plate before pouring your drink into a glass.
The plate gently clinks as you set it down on the dining table, and you were about to sit down, but in the corner if your eye, you catch Kate's bow sitting right in front of the little training room she had.
Your eyes flicker from your meal and the bullseye, then you decide to walk over to the bow, picking it up. Lucky sits down near you, tilting his head in curiosity.
Carefully, you grab an arrow and place it in between the middle and the bowstring, then firmly grip everything and pulling the arrow back. Your eyes focus on the target and you aim, until finally, you release it, making it fly across the space with great speed.
The arrow lands right near the edge of the bullseye, but it was lodged in between the red line. Lucky barks, and you laugh, the anticipation of drawing an arrow back then finding out where it hits doesn't fail in giving a little serotonin. At least, when you're just having fun.
Wanting to do at least one more, you grab another arrow, placing it in the same place and getting your stance kind of right, having learnt from Kate...once.
Out of your vision, in the meanwhile, Kate had woken up, her bedroom door quietly opening and closing as she went out. Kate's eyes travel to your bedroom door, tilting her head to peek into your room. When she found the bed to be empty, she looks around the room to see you standing at the archery area.
She smiles slightly and speaks up, walking towards you, "You know, we should--" she cuts herself off when you quickly turn on your feet, your body following the movement as you unexpectedly heard her and get jumped.
"Whoa there!" She splutters out, instantly putting her hands up with a nervous chuckle as she saw the arrow being pointed at her, already drawn back.
Your eyes widen when you see Kate with her own wide blue eyes staring back at you. "Oh--" You quickly loosen your grip on the arrow, and a small smile comes up on her face, although, you can see a hint of fear.
"Okay, let's not kill anyone here." She says quickly and softly, then takes a few steps forward, lowering the bow you held.
"Sorry." You said sheepishly with a small chuckle, letting go of the bow and arrow as she ends up gently taking it from you with care, storing it back in its original place.
"It's okay, its not all the time I accidentally sneak up on someone and get...an arrow pointed in my face." She waves her hand off, then feel Lucky licking her skin, to which she pets his head and then kneel down slightly to run both her hands through his fur, his saliva going on her cheek slightly.
"I didn't mean to, you came out of nowhere!" You utter out, your face apologetic as you watch her stand back up properly, laughing slightly in her walk to the kitchen, her eyes lingering on your breakfast that was still warm.
"Hey, at least you're not the first person thats done it." She shrugs, grabbing two slices of bread and placing them into the toaster.
"I'm not?" Your face instead contorts into a curious one while Kate leans back on the kitchen counters, shaking her head with a smile.
"Nope," she said simply, and you raise your eyebrows, a hum coming out of you, but don't push on more to it. You walk back over to the dining table to sit down and finally start on your breakfast.
"Since you want to shoot something thats not a target so early on, you wanna join me for archery class?" Kate casually says as she grabs the carton of orange juice you had left on the counter, pouring herself a glass to drink.
You thought about it for a moment, then thought of the people, then thought about possibly getting scolded by the teacher for getting a stance or shot wrong.
"No, no, it's okay." You shake your head, insistently waving your hand as a gesture to add to your expression, awfully too worried about doing anything new at the moment.
"I can actually get you in, you know." The toast jumps out brown, and Kate slides it out, making a quick sandwich for herself.
"I would really love to, but...maybe next time. I'll probably take Lucky on a walk for today." You turn her down as kindly as you could, giving her a tight lipped smile that she didn't mind.
Kate takes a bite into her sandwich with a crunch, then turns around to put the orange juice back, and finally sees the bright note she had left on the fridge the other day. "Ah...I forgot I put that up." She said quietly, her head moving in a gentle nod, returning the orange juice before closing the fridge and looking back at you.
"Well, if thats what you want." She shrugs lightly, making sure her phone was in her pocket and she had her keys as she walked to the front door.
"But call me if you're staying out after the sun goes down." She points her finger at you, standing by the door with her other hand on the handle, her face more serious.
You nod, a warmth filling you at how much she cared, although a thought did cross your mind that it was because you were bringing Lucky, but no. it wasn't just that. "I will," you say quietly, but she saw the mouth movement and her face softens.
"Okay, bye!" Kate said as she went out the door with a wave. Quickly, you mirror her hand movement, echoing her goodbye and adding in her name along with it, "Bye, Kate!"
You settle back down in your seat at the dining table again, the quietness of the apartment somehow only being louder than it should. What if, in honest truth, you shouldn't be here? Kate's just too nice.
A touch to your hand from Lucky's nose snapped you out, the dog noticing how you had stilled and spaced out suddenly. You turn to look at him, his smile seeming to be the most comforting on earth at the moment.
"It's just you and I, huh?" You whispered, barely even above the sound of a breath as your hands petted his head.
You then cup the sides of the pizza dog's head, looking into his almond eyes. He stared back at you, his face clueless and almost understanding at the same time.
A heavy sigh escapes your mouth, feeling the weight of your body growing rather than lessening. You were taking steps forward, but it wasn't easy to not stop or reverse here and now.
Your hands let go of Lucky and turn back to the toast and eggs, finishing off the last of it. There were few places you could bring the pizza dog to-- the dog park, a pizza place...Your eyes linger on the empty pizza box that was yet to be thrown out. He's definitely had some just a day or so ago. It's probably better off to not spoil him. The dog park it is, then.
Pushing off the table, you pick up your empty plate and glass, taking it to the sink. Having already showered, you decide to simply change your outfit into something more fitted for the outdoors.
Lucky was laid down, chewing on a pizza toy of his, the little thing in his mouth making very quiet squeaking sounds as you walk back into the living room.
When you grab the leash, he instantly sits up more properly, his eyes widening at the sight. You chuckle, making your way over to the dog.
He met you halfway already though, leaving his toy and looking up at you, the golden charm on his collar swinging from the movement. "You know it. We're going out, buddy," your hands work on putting the leash on the collar, making sure it was properly on there.
After that, you stood up and walked to the front door, Lucky following behind you. Of course, you check you've gotten everything before going out, the door creaking slightly.
You weren't outside quite yet, needing to go down the stairs. Once you were out, the streets were calmer than usual, but not peaceful. It held people on their phones looking all ready for business, taxis passing through, people with their children and all that.
Luckily, the path you were taking seemed to slowly turn emptier, you and Lucky walking in step with each other and weaving through obstacles. You still had your earphones on, playing music as you went.
The sun kissed your skin gently, but still the cold air of New York let off a comforting temperature, mixing in with the warmth.
You feel the pace of the golden retriever's steps beside you slow down, which had you curiously looking down for a moment, seeing how Lucky had his head and eyes locked on something.
You follow his gaze and see nothing that could interest him for a moment, until your eyes travel up and see a pizza logo, the giant sign obvious as it hanged from the front of the restaurant, and it seems you took too long to realize the path held a troublesome situation.
You feel the tug on your hand from Lucky pulling the leash, the start of a run to get to the pizza place as he went further out of sync with your walking.
"Lucky, wait!" You yelp, thankfully the streets being emp...well. You thought it was, until you bump into someone, making Lucky instantly stop and turn to look at you.
You regain your surroundings soon and blink, feeling the slightest pain on your chest and arm from the hit of someone else's body. "Sorry! He gets..." You quickly apologize, until trailing off when you see the person in front of you, their own eyes slightly wide from shock.
"Oh, you're..." you take a step back, quietly saying the words as you try to process if you got dizzy and were imagining things, or if your eyes were actually seeing a redhead in front of you. One particularly familiar.
"The one in the rain," she utters out quietly herself, her eyebrows furrowed as her brain probably tried to process it the same as yours were. The breeze of the cool wind ran through her hair, making her seem all the more graceful and taking both your words and breath away.
"Are you okay?" She asks, and you hear the bit of rasp in her voice as she checks you for any sign of visible pain, and you were only rubbing your forearm.
"Yeah- I...I should be asking you that, I'm sorry, I didn't accidentally hurt you or anything, right?" you ask, your own eyes darting on her while a nervous chuckle comes from your mouth, but she shakes her head gently.
"No. In fact, you seem like you got hit harder," she said gently, her face holding a look of concern. Lucky was standing by, watching and now curious about what was happening, but he was more impatient to go to the nearby pizza place.
"Good," You nod, the smallest warmth coming upon your face as you gave her a tight lipped smile. There was a beat of silence, but it wasn't long until she spoke up again.
"So, we both went to New York." She tilts her head, about to slip her hand into her pockets until she felt her hand getting sniffed, bumped by the nose and licked by the golden retriever that caused this situation to arise.
"Yeah, that's..." you trail off as you notice Lucky barely keeping his excitement as he introduced himself to this kind stranger you only briefly met from the airport. You try to get him to give the redhead space, your hands reaching to gently pull him back. "Lucky, calm down."
She chuckles softly, and even though the sound was just a breath, something about it made you question what was happening. Such as, reality, or dream, or movie. "It's alright." her hand reaches down and pets him lightly. "Is this your dog?" she asks, glancing up at you.
"No. No, he belongs to a friend of mine." You reply, watching how she and Lucky interacted, as if it was natural. He seemed radiant, but you couldn't tell if it was because of her kind presence or the way there was a fresh pizza brought out by a waiter, seen from the restaurant window.
"He's cute," she said simply, her hand still going through his soft fur, then landing on the charm on his collar. You presume she was reading his name for a moment, but you didn't mind.
"Yeah. He...gets excited when he sees anything with pizza because he loves eating it." You smile gently, shaking your head as your mind goes over the dog's antics, especially with him turning his head from you and the redhead.
"A dog that eats pizza? That's the first I've heard." She slides her hands smoothly into the pocket of her brown coat, her expression curious and intrigued.
"Yup. He's a special kind." Your head moves in a the gentle motion of a nod as you went to lightly pat his head, and he only derpily had his tongue out. You can see the green eyes of the redhead watching your movements.
The two of you were quiet for a moment once again, your heart beating faster than normal, for some odd reason. Perhaps both of you were questioning whether it was fate that had you two meeting once more, or a coincidence.
"...What do you say to grabbing coffee sometime?" she said suddenly, but her voice was calm. Your eyes widen for a moment in surprise, but you regain your composure after blinking once or twice.
"Well, it's only fair since you saved me from the rain." She raises her eyebrows at you, and you try your best to not focus on your ever growing heartrate, although there was a hint of a smile on her face.
"No, I'm kidding, I'd love to grab coffee with you." you shook your head, your playful side seeming to be coming out a little too much, but the corners of her lips raise up more properly anyway. You shared each other's contacts after a few seconds, having put it in your phones.
She checks her watch, glancing down the street in the direction she was going in, then looking back at you. "I have to do something, but just...contact me whenever," the words came out rushed, but yet gentle while you see her start to walk away.
"Okay...Uh, stay safe!" you say with a slightly louder volume so she could hear you better. But she only turns back around to take a look at you with a chuckle.
"You should be the one staying safe." She turns back to her own route, and the sentence made a small laugh come from you.
Feeling oddly more light and warm, you were about to continue walking, until you realize Lucky wasn't moving, then he gently, this time, walked forward to pull you to the pizza place. You held your ground though, determined to only go to the dog park.
"No, you already had pizza just a few days ago." At that, he surrenders and turns back around to walk with you, his ear raising up as he looked back at the restaurant, whimpering quietly.
"I'll get you treats and play fetch." Upon hearing his other favorite words, his disappointment seemed to fade away.
The walk didn't last much longer, and you soon arrive to the park, the space, once more, not being too crowded, but not empty either.
You roam the grassy area until you find a place where it was completely empty, a beautiful tree sitting with shade catching your eyes. A perfect spot to hang out at.
You went and sat down on the grass, your back against the tree as Lucky followed beside you. You smile slightly, your hand going in your bag to grab a small ball.
He perks up and prepares, watching as you raised it up then threw it. He jumps and bolts off to grab it, his speed making you chuckle in surprise.
Soon he quickly retrieved it, coming back to you with his fur moving all over the place and dropping the ball beside you.
"You wanna do it again?" you ask, and he only stared at you. You threw it again, trying to do it a little farther on. This keeps going with a few tricks here and there, rewarded with some treats you brought.
The both of you gets tired sometime later, and you were now completely laid down against the grass, Lucky having his head on your stomach with his paws curled up.
The breeze of the wind lightly brushes your face and goes through your hair as you stare up at the sky, watching the clouds move.
This felt all too familiar.
Every memory, everything, except in different places.
Your gentle breathing, and the weight of a head on your body.
Your hand reaches up into the sky, your fingers uncurling themselves as you felt the wind.
This wasn't even the same park.
Yet, it still flooded through you like you had just experienced the moment yesterday.
Lucky had his eyes closed as your hand dropped onto your chest and you look down, away from the sky as if to not think about it anymore.
The device in your pocket felt more obvious as the seconds went by, and you start to give in, grabbing your phone from your pocket.
You check it, and you see the high amount of numbers in the corner of the calls and messages icons, an obvious red background behind it. Deciding finally, you tap on the messages app.
The texts written and sent to you by the brunette was short. Sent in multiple messages that make up one or two sentences. The first one was a paragraph of an apology, and your eyes skim over it, your heart already aching.
Your thumb then hovers over the missed calls, a decision in your head...
end of chapter 7. <3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 6
----------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @slutforabbyanderson @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @tia-thesimp @may-z3 @marvelwomen-simp @natsbiggestfan1 @fawnedolly @canvascoloredin @autorasexy
Nat really made them worry! but she wouldn't miss out seeing R again for anything. theeeeere's lots to come :]
small details.
| W.M -> N.R
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 8
Chapter Warnings: a moment of not wanting to get out of bed, white lies, reader loves orcas/sea animals and collecting music(?)
Summary: A decision takes place to guide you towards your next path, green eyes leading the way.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 3.7k
Category: Fluff
Series Playlist
| Started on 31/03/2024, 8:16 PM |
| Finished on 04/15/2024, 2:56 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 7
"Your heart is so soft, I find it hard to believe anyone could ever hurt you."
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
...You tap on your contacts, scrolling down in the alphabetical pattern. Soon you find yourself, not at the bottom, but at the letter N.
Lingering on the contact, your mind filled with thoughts of everything that could happen. You didn't even know her full name, but the contact seemed like she had saved it with her first letter.
"What am I doing?" The whisper of your voice wasn't meant to be directed to anyone but you, yet you could feel movement on your body of a paw gently landing on your stomach.
You look down and see Lucky, staring up at you adorably and peacefully, his eye shining from the sunlight. There was a small reflection of the park in his pupil.
This was a better decision than going back to your ex though, isn't it? You took a deep breath in and sighed, your free hand gently going through Lucky's fur.
Then, you look back at the screen and decide to text the stranger, your thumbs hesitantly making their moves.
hi :]
I'm Y/N, the one with the golden retriever
I got the right phone number, right?
you're the redhead from earlier?
Her reply came in quicker than you had expected, so your heart skips a beat when you see her typing.
Hey. :]
You've got it. I'm the redhead.
I don't know your name so...
Natasha.
But you can call me Nat.
Natasha. thats a pretty name :]
Thank you. Yours is cute.
Cute.
At that, you had gotten far too distracted and lose your grip, your phone sliding out your hands and falling atop your face.
"Ow." The golden retriever in your lap jumped slightly and went forward, his nose bumping into your hand or face as you picked up your phone once more, seeing him check if you were hurt.
"I'm okay," you say with a gentle chuckle, and Lucky licked your face once before retreating back to his original place.
Your eyes focus on your phone screen once more, reading the words she's written out.
So, when do you think you're free?
Thinking it over, your teeth sinks into your bottom lip, wondering if you should dive in, or take small cautious steps.
With you basically not having a job anymore, considering you're in New York, you had all the time in the world.
how about friday?
She doesn't reply for a few minutes, and you almost got anxious, thinking you had somehow scared her off or lost her interest, but the three bubbles soon pop up once more.
Friday's good for me.
I know a cozy cafe somewhere near cornelia street. Only, it is french though, would you like that?
I'm okay with anything really!
maybe we could also hang out at that pizza
place we met near?
Or well...the second time we met?
As long as you're comfortable with the place we pick, pizza sounds good too.
It didn't matter what you picked as much, but seeing as you were slightly more familiar with the area, you chose that. Plus, you'd be able to get Lucky or Kate a pizza once you were done.
friday, pizza place at 2, if
thats okay with you?
Then its settled. See you there :]
see you!! :]
After a few seconds of not doing anything else but stare at the screen for a bit, you turn off your phone and set it aside. You weren't sure if the warmth you felt on your face was from the sun starting to shine on you, or whatever had just happened earlier.
Looking at the time on your watch, you decide its best you go back to Kate's apartment before you'd end up falling asleep on the grass and it'll be sundown.
Your hand props your body up, and at the movement, Lucky shifts until he realizes you're about to stand up, to which he gets off of you and places his paws on the grass.
With a lighter heart, you gather your things and make your way back home, Lucky somehow not getting distracted along the way as he followed beside you.
The close of the door echoes through the apartment when you arrive, kicking your shoes off. Surprisingly, Kate was already home, watching The Hunger Games on the couch.
She paused the movie and turns her head to look at you, her eyes moving from the dog beside you and you. She saw something different in you, but didn't question it, thinking it was just because you went on a walk outside.
"Hey." You say gently to Kate as you leaned down to take the leash off of Lucky, and she smiled, seeing the pizza dog run to her with excitement of seeing her again.
"Hey. Wanna join?" She asks you, then greeting Lucky when he arrived to her, and jumping on the couch to lay beside her.
"Sure, which movie are you on?" You walk over to both of them, sitting at the single open space there was left.
"The first one. I just started, so you're right on time." Kate had brought out a treat from somewhere beside her, holding it in her hand and testing Lucky's patience.
"How was the walk?" She asks as she glances up at you. Lucky was slowly moving forward, sniffing until he chomped on it while Kate got distracted, and you had to hold in a laugh from his swift movement. Kate on the other hand, had a shocked face from the sudden feeling of his saliva.
"Good. But this little guy saw a pizza restaurant while on our walk." You pointed at the golden retriever, your hand then moving to pet his head.
"Oh, no, what happened?" She freezes and stares at you, a million thoughts in her head. Could Lucky have ran into the restaurant? Did he steal someone's pizza? But look at his eye. He could never have done something like that. But he could. But he wouldn't.
"He practically dragged me towards it." You chuckle softly, pulling your hand back and sitting back against the couch, putting your legs up and getting comfortable.
"Jeez, you little troublemaking pizza lover." She cups Lucky's head, shaking her head before gently running her hands through his fur.
"Are you okay though?" She asks softly, her face turning into one of concern as she looks back up at you once more.
"Yeah, I accidentally bumped into someone, but I'm fine." You brush it off lightly, your mind proceeding to think of the redhead you had met, and the messages, but you decide against mentioning it to Kate.
She hums, "Better keep in mind the path you're walking in the future, then." You let the words sink in. It had sounded deeper than you knew she intended it to, and she probably didn't even notice as she played with Lucky. She then settled back comfortably on the couch, resuming the movie.
"I will." You say under your breath, nodding, but she didn't give another word, her eyes focused on the screen. The rest of the night continues with small conversations and jokes until the two of you bid each other goodbye to go to your bedrooms and sleep.
You fell onto your bed, wanting to close your eyes and surrender into the darkness, but you can't help but only twist and turn for a bit, unable to rid your mind of every thought it had.
Since you couldn't sleep, you grab your phone from the side, checking it for anything. For a moment, you linger on the text messages, going over every word before closing the app.
When you went to the lockscreen to clear your notifications of anything else so you don't read the things you've already seen later in the morning, you notice your low battery. So, you reach to the side to turn on your charger and plug your phone, the battery going green in indication.
Yawning, you try sleeping once more, this time, it starting to look to be more successful, and soon enough, the whole world disappearing until your breathing went into a softer rhythm.
The night passes by, the moon slowly fading out from the sky as it brightened with the sun that was rising.
You did your morning routine tiredly, repeating onwards until it was friday. With the smell of freshly blended fruits from Kate's smoothie she had made still lingering in the air, you walk out the living room fully ready to go out.
Well, your appearance is ready. You, on the inside? You were not prepared, even if you had a few days to get yourself together. It was just hanging out with her, right?
Was it a date? No. No, it can't be. You had just met. It was a planned meeting...meeting? That sounds too formal. Planned hang out? Oh, whatever it is, you're not ready for it.
Kate sees you anxiously check your phone along with the time, to then you making sure you have everything in your pockets. Her curiosity peaks and she stops working on her smoothie.
"Where are you going?" She asks simply, and a tinge of red lightly crosses your face as you realize she was observing the way you're acting, and you try to make yourself look more proper.
"Just...on a walk." You say your words slowly, treading carefully, yet making it up as you go along. "I'm thinking of grabbing some stuff from the nearby bakery." That was a lie. Well, a half lie. You're going to visit a bakery, but you're going to go on a dat- hang out with a certain redhead.
"Really?" She squints her eyes at you suspiciously, scanning your fancier than usual of an appearance. She's noticed all the times you've had the tiniest hint of a smile when you'd stare at your phone the past few days too.
"Yeah." You nod, trying to make it seem believable as you go towards the door, your keys clinking within your hand. "You want anything?"
"Well, if it's true, grab me a croissant." She shrugs, playing along even though she could already suspect what was happening.
"The chocolate one?" You point your finger up to her in gesture, and she smiles, tilting her head. She honestly looked like Lucky for a moment.
"Yes, the chocolate one," Kate said with a small gentle chuckle leaning on the kitchen counter, as she wondered how you had remembered. She had only gotten it once or twice but found it delicious each time.
"Okay, bye!" You open the door and was going to get out, but feel Lucky bumping into you with his head and paws, having ran to you thinking you were going on another walk with him. But, you gently push him, telling him he'll get his next walk another time. He soon relents, sitting down and watching you go. Little did he know, Kate would be home for the entire day.
"Bye!" She says, putting her hand up to wave at you slightly, about to return to finishing putting her smoothie into her cup before looking at you once more, who was right about to close the door. "Oh, and have fun!" She adds teasingly, a smile on her face.
You only felt the blood stream into your cheeks further but shut the door to start your journey to your planned meetup. As you walked along the path, you had a sense of deja vu. Yet this time, you aren't going to the park. Your legs stop completely at the pizza place.
Your eyes scan the area first, seeing if the redhead's arrived before you, but you only found someone that didn't have green eyes or the correct jawline...jawline? Why were you so focused on her features? You shook it off and went in, the smell of freshly baked pizza in the air.
Voices of people talking filled your hearing, and your feet took a few bit more steps until you get to an empty corner table, beside it, a window. The place was lively, but it was almost a light, joyous atmosphere.
You sat down, getting yourself comfortable as you looked around the area, up until a server gives you the menu, making you look up to the person, giving a smile and saying a 'thank you' before going over the meals written down.
Nearly everything looked delicious, but you try your best to take notes as to which one you would order, along with your drink.
When you heard the bell of the door opening from the entrance of the restaurant, you turn your head, but it wasn't someone you were expecting, so you purse your lips and look back down on the menu, only to grab your phone to check the time.
It showed 2:00 PM, exactly. There was still time anyway, and why would she leave you hanging? You scroll on your phone for a bit, catching up on the media and everything.
Just as you were about to open your messages, you see a shadow and a presence beside you. You look up, and see green eyes staring back at you, her red hair perfectly framing her face as she had her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.
"Oh, hi," you say, nearly quietly as you leaned back slightly, feeling she was a little close. But in fact, she wasn't at all, your body was just moving in instinct.
"Hey," she said, moving to settle in the seat in front of you, a hint of a smile on her lips while she kept her gaze on you.
"Sorry if I'm a little late," her hand places her phone on the table while she shifted to get more comfortable. You return her small smile, hoping to ease any worries she had.
"It's okay. Nearly got worried you weren't going to come though." You didn't know why those words came out your mouth. They were supposed to stay in your head, but it just happened.
"Don't worry about that," She rested her arms on the table, leaning forward slightly. She mirrored your form, your own arms folded against the plastic covered menu.
"I would've texted you if I couldn't come," she reassures you gently, taking the menu you slid over to her side, and it almost calmed your nervous heart.
"What do you wanna order?" You ask, seeing how her eyes scanned the menu, concentrated on each word. Then you try to keep your gaze elsewhere, trying to not stare.
The quiet silence was only filled by the sounds of the restaurant, the clattering of the kitchen and the noise of laughter echoing from the other side of the room.
"I'll take...a pepperoni pizza. We can share, if you want," she said slowly, looking back up at you. Both of you knew neither of you could finish a single pizza by yourselves.
"Sure," Your lips raise up and you nod, taking the menu back from her and calling up the waiter. When they arrive, you order the pizza along with your drink, not forgetting to then ask her about her drink of choice. She orders it easily, and the waiter repeats your order to make sure it was right. When it was, they step back, taking the menu back with them.
She looks back to you, and you almost hesitantly bring your eyes to meet hers. It was almost like she was a magician, able to make your heart rate go higher with just a single look while everyone else disappeared. That damned stare.
"So, what brought you here to New York?" She finally speaks up, her hand fiddling slightly on the sleeve of her leather jacket, but she soon stops when she realizes she's doing it.
"Oh, I..." You utter out, taken aback at the question. It was a simple one, really, but not an easy one to answer. You take in a breath, trying to gather your thoughts.
"Well, thing is, I was um...moving out of..." You start slowly and quietly, wondering if you should actually even share such a thing. What would it hurt anyway? She waits patiently, her eyes searching your face for your thoughts.
"...my ex's apartment. a few weeks ago." You finish, talking a little faster and unfolding your arms as you felt it getting warmer.
"I see," She whispered under her breath with a nod in understanding, looking to your arms. She was going to say something else, knowing it needed a change of topic, but you add another sentence first.
"It's fine, I'm getting through it," You say with a purse of your lips. That was the second lie you've said today. Why were you counting? You didn't know. She tilted her head, but it didn't seem like it held any judgement.
When she didn't say anything, you spoke softly. "You have any hobbies?" You were trying your best to seem normal, as if you weren't panicking on the inside.
She thinks it over, her eyes slowly moving across the table to gather her words.
"...I like taking pictures." When the sentence comes out her mouth, your eyes widened slightly in surprise and shined.
"Ooh, professional, or just like casual?" You say with a bit of excitement, leaning forward. Nat chuckles softly at your interest, sinking deeper into a cozy conversation.
"Casually. Things like the sunset or just scenery. I'm not a portrait type person," she shrugs lightly, her lips raising up a little more with her smile, and you almost couldn't take your eyes off of it.
"I used to do photography. Sunsets, too, or just random people outside from faraway, but...I don't know, I slowly just stopped," you said yourself, remembering your own passion from back then.
She hums, giving you a gentle gaze. "It seems like that's something we should work on then," She suggested, as if to gently push you to dust off your old hobbies.
"Do you do anything else?" Her voice was soft, and the words started to form a little more natural in your head.
"I like collecting. Physical copies of music and stuff." You sat a little more upright, although still comfortable. The sun got brighter outside, shining down through the restaurant windows.
"Like what?" She replied in curiosity, but her appearance was calm. Her eyes shined slightly from the sunlight, and her orange hair glowed.
"Cassettes, CDs, vinyls, kind of, but they hurt my bank so I took a pause on that." You chuckle slightly, your head moving with your words.
"I have some cassettes, but I don't listen to them as much as I should," She said, and you could've sworn you were imagining the tinge of red crossing her face.
"I definitely need to see your collection." You said eagerly, and her eyes widen, possibly worried about her music taste.
"Oh, no, they're probably old and dusty...I--" She shook her head, and your smile grew, but before she could go any further, you spoke gently.
"It won't hurt." At your sentence, her shoulders went down slightly in defeat.
"Well, if you insist." She smiled once more. It felt nearly unnatural to her, but she couldn't help it. You didn't have a thought at all about it, other than simply thinking she was absolutely gorgeous.
"...What's your favorite animal?" Right as you asked the question, your food and drinks arrive, making you lean back to let the waiter put it all on the table. Once it was done, you set your arms back on the wooden table once more.
She hums. She'd never thought about having favorite things. Especially not 'silly things' such as animals. "I like cats." You raise your eyebrows just a little, your heart getting lighter as time passed by.
"A cat person. I can see that about you." Your eyes roam her face, watching how her slightly curly hair move and how she had just raised her own eyebrow with a small smirk.
"Oh, really? And what else do you see?" She asked casually, but it did have a hint of teasing. You had two choices. And you went with the one that was right to you.
"Someone kind." At that, Natasha nearly freezes, her eyes blinking as if she was in shock. You tilt your head at her, but she moves again by diverting her eyes to the window, her face natural once more.
"What about you? Your favorite animal, I mean." She said, quickly adding in the last part of her sentence as she gestured her hand to you. Your teeth sunk gently into your lip as you tried to resist yourself from having your smile widen even more.
"I like orcas." You say, nearly with a small voice, and she found it adorable. Her curiosity piqued up further though, her mind thinking about the sea animal.
"...Orcas. They are beautiful creatures." She said, her eyes elsewhere in almost a longing way.
"You know, I once saw an orca swimming near the coastline." She adds, and instantly, she sees the way your face brightened up with happiness and interest, a gasp coming out your mouth.
"Where?" You asked, and she chuckled softly. As if you weren't already happy at her mentioning that she's seen an orca, the sound of her raspy yet gentle laugh warmed your heart.
"Long island." She said at first, her head filled with her memories. She was sitting near the shore, up near the mountains all alone, having been reading a book.
"Here," she pulls out her phone and opens her gallery, finding her photos and videos of the moment she had captured, showing it to you.
You were absolutely mesmerized, your eyes kept on the video upon her phone. Her green eyes in the meanwhile, keep themselves on your features, admiring exactly how happy you looked.
The meetup goes on like this, a comfortable atmosphere, shared smiles and small laughter. You've never had a conversation flow so naturally with someone before. It was like you were in a dream, and you had nearly forgotten about anything else that had happened to you
Afterwards, you say your goodbyes, content with the time you spent. You had grabbed the chocolate croissant for Kate from the bakery, needing to trace your steps back when you had forgotten, but relief flowing through when you remembered once more.
end of chapter 8. <3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 7
--------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @slutforabbyanderson @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @may-z3 @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @tia-thesimp @marvelwomen-simp @natsbiggestfan1 @fawnedolly @blacklightsposts @canvascoloredin @autorasexy @wandanatlov3r
you were warned in the content warnings of the series!! but I'm very happy you think so :]
small details.
| W.M -> N.R
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 8
Chapter Warnings: a moment of not wanting to get out of bed, white lies, reader loves orcas/sea animals and collecting music(?)
Summary: A decision takes place to guide you towards your next path, green eyes leading the way.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 3.7k
Category: Fluff
Series Playlist
| Started on 31/03/2024, 8:16 PM |
| Finished on 04/15/2024, 2:56 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 7
"Your heart is so soft, I find it hard to believe anyone could ever hurt you."
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
...You tap on your contacts, scrolling down in the alphabetical pattern. Soon you find yourself, not at the bottom, but at the letter N.
Lingering on the contact, your mind filled with thoughts of everything that could happen. You didn't even know her full name, but the contact seemed like she had saved it with her first letter.
"What am I doing?" The whisper of your voice wasn't meant to be directed to anyone but you, yet you could feel movement on your body of a paw gently landing on your stomach.
You look down and see Lucky, staring up at you adorably and peacefully, his eye shining from the sunlight. There was a small reflection of the park in his pupil.
This was a better decision than going back to your ex though, isn't it? You took a deep breath in and sighed, your free hand gently going through Lucky's fur.
Then, you look back at the screen and decide to text the stranger, your thumbs hesitantly making their moves.
hi :]
I'm Y/N, the one with the golden retriever
I got the right phone number, right?
you're the redhead from earlier?
Her reply came in quicker than you had expected, so your heart skips a beat when you see her typing.
Hey. :]
You've got it. I'm the redhead.
I don't know your name so...
Natasha.
But you can call me Nat.
Natasha. thats a pretty name :]
Thank you. Yours is cute.
Cute.
At that, you had gotten far too distracted and lose your grip, your phone sliding out your hands and falling atop your face.
"Ow." The golden retriever in your lap jumped slightly and went forward, his nose bumping into your hand or face as you picked up your phone once more, seeing him check if you were hurt.
"I'm okay," you say with a gentle chuckle, and Lucky licked your face once before retreating back to his original place.
Your eyes focus on your phone screen once more, reading the words she's written out.
So, when do you think you're free?
Thinking it over, your teeth sinks into your bottom lip, wondering if you should dive in, or take small cautious steps.
With you basically not having a job anymore, considering you're in New York, you had all the time in the world.
how about friday?
She doesn't reply for a few minutes, and you almost got anxious, thinking you had somehow scared her off or lost her interest, but the three bubbles soon pop up once more.
Friday's good for me.
I know a cozy cafe somewhere near cornelia street. Only, it is french though, would you like that?
I'm okay with anything really!
maybe we could also hang out at that pizza
place we met near?
Or well...the second time we met?
As long as you're comfortable with the place we pick, pizza sounds good too.
It didn't matter what you picked as much, but seeing as you were slightly more familiar with the area, you chose that. Plus, you'd be able to get Lucky or Kate a pizza once you were done.
friday, pizza place at 2, if
thats okay with you?
Then its settled. See you there :]
see you!! :]
After a few seconds of not doing anything else but stare at the screen for a bit, you turn off your phone and set it aside. You weren't sure if the warmth you felt on your face was from the sun starting to shine on you, or whatever had just happened earlier.
Looking at the time on your watch, you decide its best you go back to Kate's apartment before you'd end up falling asleep on the grass and it'll be sundown.
Your hand props your body up, and at the movement, Lucky shifts until he realizes you're about to stand up, to which he gets off of you and places his paws on the grass.
With a lighter heart, you gather your things and make your way back home, Lucky somehow not getting distracted along the way as he followed beside you.
The close of the door echoes through the apartment when you arrive, kicking your shoes off. Surprisingly, Kate was already home, watching The Hunger Games on the couch.
She paused the movie and turns her head to look at you, her eyes moving from the dog beside you and you. She saw something different in you, but didn't question it, thinking it was just because you went on a walk outside.
"Hey." You say gently to Kate as you leaned down to take the leash off of Lucky, and she smiled, seeing the pizza dog run to her with excitement of seeing her again.
"Hey. Wanna join?" She asks you, then greeting Lucky when he arrived to her, and jumping on the couch to lay beside her.
"Sure, which movie are you on?" You walk over to both of them, sitting at the single open space there was left.
"The first one. I just started, so you're right on time." Kate had brought out a treat from somewhere beside her, holding it in her hand and testing Lucky's patience.
"How was the walk?" She asks as she glances up at you. Lucky was slowly moving forward, sniffing until he chomped on it while Kate got distracted, and you had to hold in a laugh from his swift movement. Kate on the other hand, had a shocked face from the sudden feeling of his saliva.
"Good. But this little guy saw a pizza restaurant while on our walk." You pointed at the golden retriever, your hand then moving to pet his head.
"Oh, no, what happened?" She freezes and stares at you, a million thoughts in her head. Could Lucky have ran into the restaurant? Did he steal someone's pizza? But look at his eye. He could never have done something like that. But he could. But he wouldn't.
"He practically dragged me towards it." You chuckle softly, pulling your hand back and sitting back against the couch, putting your legs up and getting comfortable.
"Jeez, you little troublemaking pizza lover." She cups Lucky's head, shaking her head before gently running her hands through his fur.
"Are you okay though?" She asks softly, her face turning into one of concern as she looks back up at you once more.
"Yeah, I accidentally bumped into someone, but I'm fine." You brush it off lightly, your mind proceeding to think of the redhead you had met, and the messages, but you decide against mentioning it to Kate.
She hums, "Better keep in mind the path you're walking in the future, then." You let the words sink in. It had sounded deeper than you knew she intended it to, and she probably didn't even notice as she played with Lucky. She then settled back comfortably on the couch, resuming the movie.
"I will." You say under your breath, nodding, but she didn't give another word, her eyes focused on the screen. The rest of the night continues with small conversations and jokes until the two of you bid each other goodbye to go to your bedrooms and sleep.
You fell onto your bed, wanting to close your eyes and surrender into the darkness, but you can't help but only twist and turn for a bit, unable to rid your mind of every thought it had.
Since you couldn't sleep, you grab your phone from the side, checking it for anything. For a moment, you linger on the text messages, going over every word before closing the app.
When you went to the lockscreen to clear your notifications of anything else so you don't read the things you've already seen later in the morning, you notice your low battery. So, you reach to the side to turn on your charger and plug your phone, the battery going green in indication.
Yawning, you try sleeping once more, this time, it starting to look to be more successful, and soon enough, the whole world disappearing until your breathing went into a softer rhythm.
The night passes by, the moon slowly fading out from the sky as it brightened with the sun that was rising.
You did your morning routine tiredly, repeating onwards until it was friday. With the smell of freshly blended fruits from Kate's smoothie she had made still lingering in the air, you walk out the living room fully ready to go out.
Well, your appearance is ready. You, on the inside? You were not prepared, even if you had a few days to get yourself together. It was just hanging out with her, right?
Was it a date? No. No, it can't be. You had just met. It was a planned meeting...meeting? That sounds too formal. Planned hang out? Oh, whatever it is, you're not ready for it.
Kate sees you anxiously check your phone along with the time, to then you making sure you have everything in your pockets. Her curiosity peaks and she stops working on her smoothie.
"Where are you going?" She asks simply, and a tinge of red lightly crosses your face as you realize she was observing the way you're acting, and you try to make yourself look more proper.
"Just...on a walk." You say your words slowly, treading carefully, yet making it up as you go along. "I'm thinking of grabbing some stuff from the nearby bakery." That was a lie. Well, a half lie. You're going to visit a bakery, but you're going to go on a dat- hang out with a certain redhead.
"Really?" She squints her eyes at you suspiciously, scanning your fancier than usual of an appearance. She's noticed all the times you've had the tiniest hint of a smile when you'd stare at your phone the past few days too.
"Yeah." You nod, trying to make it seem believable as you go towards the door, your keys clinking within your hand. "You want anything?"
"Well, if it's true, grab me a croissant." She shrugs, playing along even though she could already suspect what was happening.
"The chocolate one?" You point your finger up to her in gesture, and she smiles, tilting her head. She honestly looked like Lucky for a moment.
"Yes, the chocolate one," Kate said with a small gentle chuckle leaning on the kitchen counter, as she wondered how you had remembered. She had only gotten it once or twice but found it delicious each time.
"Okay, bye!" You open the door and was going to get out, but feel Lucky bumping into you with his head and paws, having ran to you thinking you were going on another walk with him. But, you gently push him, telling him he'll get his next walk another time. He soon relents, sitting down and watching you go. Little did he know, Kate would be home for the entire day.
"Bye!" She says, putting her hand up to wave at you slightly, about to return to finishing putting her smoothie into her cup before looking at you once more, who was right about to close the door. "Oh, and have fun!" She adds teasingly, a smile on her face.
You only felt the blood stream into your cheeks further but shut the door to start your journey to your planned meetup. As you walked along the path, you had a sense of deja vu. Yet this time, you aren't going to the park. Your legs stop completely at the pizza place.
Your eyes scan the area first, seeing if the redhead's arrived before you, but you only found someone that didn't have green eyes or the correct jawline...jawline? Why were you so focused on her features? You shook it off and went in, the smell of freshly baked pizza in the air.
Voices of people talking filled your hearing, and your feet took a few bit more steps until you get to an empty corner table, beside it, a window. The place was lively, but it was almost a light, joyous atmosphere.
You sat down, getting yourself comfortable as you looked around the area, up until a server gives you the menu, making you look up to the person, giving a smile and saying a 'thank you' before going over the meals written down.
Nearly everything looked delicious, but you try your best to take notes as to which one you would order, along with your drink.
When you heard the bell of the door opening from the entrance of the restaurant, you turn your head, but it wasn't someone you were expecting, so you purse your lips and look back down on the menu, only to grab your phone to check the time.
It showed 2:00 PM, exactly. There was still time anyway, and why would she leave you hanging? You scroll on your phone for a bit, catching up on the media and everything.
Just as you were about to open your messages, you see a shadow and a presence beside you. You look up, and see green eyes staring back at you, her red hair perfectly framing her face as she had her hands in the pockets of her leather jacket.
"Oh, hi," you say, nearly quietly as you leaned back slightly, feeling she was a little close. But in fact, she wasn't at all, your body was just moving in instinct.
"Hey," she said, moving to settle in the seat in front of you, a hint of a smile on her lips while she kept her gaze on you.
"Sorry if I'm a little late," her hand places her phone on the table while she shifted to get more comfortable. You return her small smile, hoping to ease any worries she had.
"It's okay. Nearly got worried you weren't going to come though." You didn't know why those words came out your mouth. They were supposed to stay in your head, but it just happened.
"Don't worry about that," She rested her arms on the table, leaning forward slightly. She mirrored your form, your own arms folded against the plastic covered menu.
"I would've texted you if I couldn't come," she reassures you gently, taking the menu you slid over to her side, and it almost calmed your nervous heart.
"What do you wanna order?" You ask, seeing how her eyes scanned the menu, concentrated on each word. Then you try to keep your gaze elsewhere, trying to not stare.
The quiet silence was only filled by the sounds of the restaurant, the clattering of the kitchen and the noise of laughter echoing from the other side of the room.
"I'll take...a pepperoni pizza. We can share, if you want," she said slowly, looking back up at you. Both of you knew neither of you could finish a single pizza by yourselves.
"Sure," Your lips raise up and you nod, taking the menu back from her and calling up the waiter. When they arrive, you order the pizza along with your drink, not forgetting to then ask her about her drink of choice. She orders it easily, and the waiter repeats your order to make sure it was right. When it was, they step back, taking the menu back with them.
She looks back to you, and you almost hesitantly bring your eyes to meet hers. It was almost like she was a magician, able to make your heart rate go higher with just a single look while everyone else disappeared. That damned stare.
"So, what brought you here to New York?" She finally speaks up, her hand fiddling slightly on the sleeve of her leather jacket, but she soon stops when she realizes she's doing it.
"Oh, I..." You utter out, taken aback at the question. It was a simple one, really, but not an easy one to answer. You take in a breath, trying to gather your thoughts.
"Well, thing is, I was um...moving out of..." You start slowly and quietly, wondering if you should actually even share such a thing. What would it hurt anyway? She waits patiently, her eyes searching your face for your thoughts.
"...my ex's apartment. a few weeks ago." You finish, talking a little faster and unfolding your arms as you felt it getting warmer.
"I see," She whispered under her breath with a nod in understanding, looking to your arms. She was going to say something else, knowing it needed a change of topic, but you add another sentence first.
"It's fine, I'm getting through it," You say with a purse of your lips. That was the second lie you've said today. Why were you counting? You didn't know. She tilted her head, but it didn't seem like it held any judgement.
When she didn't say anything, you spoke softly. "You have any hobbies?" You were trying your best to seem normal, as if you weren't panicking on the inside.
She thinks it over, her eyes slowly moving across the table to gather her words.
"...I like taking pictures." When the sentence comes out her mouth, your eyes widened slightly in surprise and shined.
"Ooh, professional, or just like casual?" You say with a bit of excitement, leaning forward. Nat chuckles softly at your interest, sinking deeper into a cozy conversation.
"Casually. Things like the sunset or just scenery. I'm not a portrait type person," she shrugs lightly, her lips raising up a little more with her smile, and you almost couldn't take your eyes off of it.
"I used to do photography. Sunsets, too, or just random people outside from faraway, but...I don't know, I slowly just stopped," you said yourself, remembering your own passion from back then.
She hums, giving you a gentle gaze. "It seems like that's something we should work on then," She suggested, as if to gently push you to dust off your old hobbies.
"Do you do anything else?" Her voice was soft, and the words started to form a little more natural in your head.
"I like collecting. Physical copies of music and stuff." You sat a little more upright, although still comfortable. The sun got brighter outside, shining down through the restaurant windows.
"Like what?" She replied in curiosity, but her appearance was calm. Her eyes shined slightly from the sunlight, and her orange hair glowed.
"Cassettes, CDs, vinyls, kind of, but they hurt my bank so I took a pause on that." You chuckle slightly, your head moving with your words.
"I have some cassettes, but I don't listen to them as much as I should," She said, and you could've sworn you were imagining the tinge of red crossing her face.
"I definitely need to see your collection." You said eagerly, and her eyes widen, possibly worried about her music taste.
"Oh, no, they're probably old and dusty...I--" She shook her head, and your smile grew, but before she could go any further, you spoke gently.
"It won't hurt." At your sentence, her shoulders went down slightly in defeat.
"Well, if you insist." She smiled once more. It felt nearly unnatural to her, but she couldn't help it. You didn't have a thought at all about it, other than simply thinking she was absolutely gorgeous.
"...What's your favorite animal?" Right as you asked the question, your food and drinks arrive, making you lean back to let the waiter put it all on the table. Once it was done, you set your arms back on the wooden table once more.
She hums. She'd never thought about having favorite things. Especially not 'silly things' such as animals. "I like cats." You raise your eyebrows just a little, your heart getting lighter as time passed by.
"A cat person. I can see that about you." Your eyes roam her face, watching how her slightly curly hair move and how she had just raised her own eyebrow with a small smirk.
"Oh, really? And what else do you see?" She asked casually, but it did have a hint of teasing. You had two choices. And you went with the one that was right to you.
"Someone kind." At that, Natasha nearly freezes, her eyes blinking as if she was in shock. You tilt your head at her, but she moves again by diverting her eyes to the window, her face natural once more.
"What about you? Your favorite animal, I mean." She said, quickly adding in the last part of her sentence as she gestured her hand to you. Your teeth sunk gently into your lip as you tried to resist yourself from having your smile widen even more.
"I like orcas." You say, nearly with a small voice, and she found it adorable. Her curiosity piqued up further though, her mind thinking about the sea animal.
"...Orcas. They are beautiful creatures." She said, her eyes elsewhere in almost a longing way.
"You know, I once saw an orca swimming near the coastline." She adds, and instantly, she sees the way your face brightened up with happiness and interest, a gasp coming out your mouth.
"Where?" You asked, and she chuckled softly. As if you weren't already happy at her mentioning that she's seen an orca, the sound of her raspy yet gentle laugh warmed your heart.
"Long island." She said at first, her head filled with her memories. She was sitting near the shore, up near the mountains all alone, having been reading a book.
"Here," she pulls out her phone and opens her gallery, finding her photos and videos of the moment she had captured, showing it to you.
You were absolutely mesmerized, your eyes kept on the video upon her phone. Her green eyes in the meanwhile, keep themselves on your features, admiring exactly how happy you looked.
The meetup goes on like this, a comfortable atmosphere, shared smiles and small laughter. You've never had a conversation flow so naturally with someone before. It was like you were in a dream, and you had nearly forgotten about anything else that had happened to you
Afterwards, you say your goodbyes, content with the time you spent. You had grabbed the chocolate croissant for Kate from the bakery, needing to trace your steps back when you had forgotten, but relief flowing through when you remembered once more.
end of chapter 8. <3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 7
--------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @slutforabbyanderson @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @may-z3 @animealways @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @tia-thesimp @marvelwomen-simp @natsbiggestfan1 @fawnedolly @blacklightsposts @canvascoloredin @autorasexy @wandanatlov3r
thank god! I'm so glad :] I was getting quite worried since my aim is still for a slow paced series but not a boring one or anything, and I tend to run out of time to finish them by the week sometimes, due to me being busy...
I love doing cliffhangers so yes, it will very much be a habit, unfortunately. (I cackle evilly whenever I find the opportunity to do one) the next future series would possibly include some too ;)
![Thank God! I'm So Glad :] I Was Getting Quite Worried Since My Aim Is Still For A Slow Paced Series But](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b3cff360adedcfd79275e61bdcfec0b1/3ac3ba627b30a946-0b/s500x750/9f6bf8d642e4e5f48a8b25c367a33dfefe71afeb.png)
all the things I shouldn't.
| W.M -> N.R
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 9
Chapter Warnings: sleeping problems, this chapter somehow contains going to sleep three times in detail and R raving over sea animals (aka me writing and raving about sea animals) half not proofread
Summary: After dealing with the appearance of a memory you once thought had been long gone once ago, you get a message from the redhead, asking to go out once more.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 6.3k
Category: Fluff! (teensy hurt/comfort)
A/N: I feel like I'm making these way too long? but the chapter would feel like it has holes without it having the small little details so :') just tuck yourself in cozily and enjoy<3
Series Playlist
| Started on 13/04/2024, 1:39 PM |
| Finished on 29/04/2024, 12:26 AM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 8
"take the risk. who knows what lies ahead of your path?"
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
-- a week later...
The bedroom was bright from the open windows, air flowing in naturally through the space. It was quiet, other than from the distant gentle snoring of Kate sleeping in the living room, your door being mindlessly open.
You were not in bed, but reorganizing your closet, having gotten home from the mall with Kate and some new clothes. The gentle fabric of each shirt brushed against your skin with your touch.
There were music playing in your ears, making you nod your head slightly to the beat and hum, making sure not to sing too loud or something so you wouldn't wake up the sleeping archer.
You were about to finish up, but a box in the corner of your vision catches your eye. Just above all the clothes.
It had been sitting there for days, yet you somehow hadn't noticed until now. It was brought with you when you arrived, but you didn't put much thought to it, thinking it was just your old belongings.
Upon closer inspection with a step forward, you knew it wasn't the box you were supposed to grab. You push open the closet door further, then push yourself on your tip-toes to reach it. With the pull of your fingers, it soon goes into your hold.
The top was slightly dusty, so you brush it off with your hand, about to open it, but then taking a pause to sneeze. Your face contorts into a slight grimace as your eyes trail up, tilting your head so you can peek to see if Kate woke up.
The only movement visible was Lucky shifting slightly in his own sleep, while Kate had her arm hanging off the side of the couch, Lucky's fur just tickling her hand. She was still asleep.
With a soft sigh of relief, you look back down on the box. There was nothing written down on it anywhere, so it only made your curiosity grow.
You walk to your bed, opting to place it on there. It made sounds of clunking and was just a teensy bit heavy. When your fingertips gently grasp the lid, you hesitate, but go in for the dive anyway.
Once it was opened, your eyes widen slightly, and it confirmed your suspicions of it not being yours. Or...half yours. Inside, held stacks of custom CDs, writing, and paper on the cases and within them. Some, not even having anything but a case.
Your heart raced as you read some of the writing, but you try your best to ignore it. Beside all the CDs sat an old portable player, one that was yours. Technically you didn't get the wrong box, but you were supposed to only grab the cd player.
A flicker of your eyes makes you stare at the discs once more. It was nearly getting to your nerves with how much she was following you around. But...something about it only wanted you to linger.
You shouldn't play one.
Yet, you couldn't help but grab one of the cases and open it. The writing was on the disc for this one. Blue marker on the front with a smiley face. It wrote, 'Roadtrips!' and your initial with Wanda. The disc had rainbow rays, reflecting back light from whichever way you angled it.
The lid of the player opens with a bit of fiddling, and you insert the CD. With the earphones plugged in and placed in your ear, you click play.
...Nothing.
You check the player, flipping it and clicking play again.
Ah, the batteries. Too bad, you should just turn around now by putting it back and never touch the box again. Yes? No, instead your eyes catch exactly two batteries, hiding between the cds and the wall of the box.
The world was tempting and teasing you, its almost making you crazy. Your hand reaches in and grabbed them to then place them into the battery compartment.
A breath goes out from your lips, your fingertip atop the button before you press on it. The white noise and the sound of the disc moving quietly sounded out.
As the starting melody played, it was like a knife first poked at your chest, then utterly, slowly, goes in to stab your heart.
This one, you would sing at the top of your lungs with her while you were in the car, going anywhere in the world. Just you, and her, and nothing else mattered. God, you missed those moments.
Your fingertips traced the others, moving them with a few noises as it hit against one another. The others, baking...dancing, some albums...and just playlists of songs you both loved, mixed together. What were you doing?
Quickly, you pull out your earphones, making it fall down to the bed. The music was now distant, quiet. But realizing you could still even hear it, you pause it.
A breath you didn't even know you were holding left your lungs. You shouldn't have done that. When you heard some sounds from the living room, you try to be fast with putting everything back in the box except for the player.
But the movement was only Lucky, your eyes watching him pad off to his bowls in the view of the doorway.
Your eyes falter of any panic and your shoulders relax as you went to store the box of memories back in the closet.
A few steps took you to your door, leaning yourself against the frame to peek and see if Kate was still sleeping. She was indeed. You supposed she had gotten tired, either from laughing, joking and simply having fun, or she was exhausted from doing her archery practices and going out with you.
Nonetheless, you check the time, having noticed the windows showing the sky going into a gradient, and the clouds evaporating.
It was 7:15 PM. You nibbled on your lip as you thought it over. You'll deal with everything else later. The task of organizing of your closet was finished anyway.
You close the bedroom door with a gentle shut, turning back around to face your room and go fall into the comfort of your bed.
As time went by, a yawn from you passes with it, and you switched your position all you could, picking up a book, or even tried to focus on your phone, but then you give up on everything and just decided to simply lay against the soft mattress.
Soon enough, your eyes grow heavy, and your vision grew darker. The daylight was also starting to fade away, and it added further to the luring sleepiness. Your fingers curled up and you closed your eyes, slowly falling into deep sleep.
As you were unaware, the sleep that was expected to be a few minutes of a nap, turns to hours, and you didn't even get to see the moon for the day.
Sometime later, you open your eyes in a half-awake state, noticing it was still daytime. Well, to you. It was actually now morning rather than afternoon as you checked your phone. A sigh leaves you.
Your eyes linger on your closed bedroom door. You only curled up further. You don't want to get up yet.
No one had texted, called, or gone in your room, so what's the point? Your tired eyes close once more as your breathing stayed soft, slowly going back to sleep while the house was quiet.
The hand of the clock moves slowly, yet the hours went like nothing as your mind rested.
"Y/N. Hey, you have to wake up." A gentle voice said next to you as you felt a shake on your shoulder. You groan, getting your peaceful time disturbed.
Kate watched as your splayed out arms moved as you shifted yourself to see her for a split second, your eyes barely open.
"What time is it...?" You murmured, the words barely even making sense to Kate, but to you it did.
"What?" She asked softly, confusion obvious in her voice while you yawned, turning to rest your cheek on the bed. She notices the sleepiness in your eyes when your face appears in her view.
"What time...is it?" You repeated slowly, trying to be clearer and raise your volume just a tad more. Your eyelids fell back to a close, too. Kate raises her eyebrows, crossing her arms as her concern grows.
"Its eleven. Come on, wake up, shower." She gestured with her hands, but you couldn't even see her. You made a sound that only convinced Kate it was going to take her more than that to get you to wake up or even get out of bed.
When she waited for a few seconds and you didn't answer or move, she offers with something that could hold more interest. "I'll make some waffles for you. You want some?"
Still, quietness came from you. You've gone back to sleep.
Gently, Kate reaches out and places her hand on your shoulder once more. "Hey." She swipes her thumb in a gentle motion, not wanting you to get mad at her for bothering you or something.
She then sighed softly.
Kate's eyes roam around the room, trying to see what could have possibly made you like this, but found nothing. Maybe you really were just tired. But the afternoon time staring back at her on your clock told her the chance of it being the latter, was starting to go down.
"If you don't get up, you're gonna lose the chance to have some tasty waffles." She says melodically as she leaned one hand on your bed. Her constant talking and gentle movements had you rousing from your sleep, and with the smallest step forward of getting you up, her concerns went lighter, but it was still there.
"...Did you get more messages?" She asked, her tone more serious now. You had a feeling if you didn't answer this time, she might just drag you all the way to the kitchen.
Kate knew about the countless messages from the brunette you once knew. The many times she's said to just block the contact were millions, but you didn't have it in you to lose the connection completely.
You roll over to lay on your back, your arms above your head as you blinked slowly, taking in a breath to come up with a reply. She waited patiently, although her eyebrows were furrowed.
"No, it's..." You trail off quietly with a sigh, your voice groggy from the morning. Kate pauses her thumb's movemensts on your shoulder, and you look at her more properly.
"I don't wanna get up." You go for a half lie. Kate thinks it over. Technically, if she needed to, she could bring a plate to you as you sat in bed, but that would only encourage you to stay in bed further on.
She also didn't want to force anything out of you, so she treaded carefully, but it didn't stop her from her determination to at least pull you out of this thing you entrapped yourself in. Even if its only been a few hours.
"Well, you're gonna have to. Unless you want me to carry you to sit at the dining table." She said plainly, but you didn't budge. The thought to even move slightly felt like a work on your energy.
Kate then slowly took steps backwards, getting farther away from you, and instead closer to the door. "Okay, I'm gonna have waffles without you! The sweet, soft, and crunchy ones that basically melt in your mouth!" She said, slowly turning around.
You shouldn't stay in bed.
And you decided you wouldn't.
"No, wait!" Your voice finally comes out slightly higher in volume than the barely audible one, but with a soft tone.
Kate turns around and raises an eyebrow, a smile playing on her lips. You, on the other hand, pouted.
"...Don't finish without me." You whispered now, and Kate just about heard it, but it still had her smile widening. Her eyes watch you deflate on the bed before you push yourself up with your hands and slowly getting out of bed.
She walks to the kitchen with you following behind her, your fatigue visible within your movements. You hear Lucky's collar clinking gently that came with the brush of his body spinning around your legs.
Kate already had the meals ready, her hands only holding the drinks to place on the dining table. Your hand met Lucky's head for a moment before you join Kate at the table, looking to see what she had.
The plates held waffles with some fruits on the side. At the mere sight, your stomach was already grumbling.
You took your seat, getting comfortable. The plastic chair didn't help much with the ache in your body from sleeping in bed for too long, but the atmosphere of how the sunlight was gently going through the windows while the birds outside made shadows put up a peaceful feeling.
"Here," she hands you a fork, and you took it, about to dig in your meal, but your eyes brightened when you realize she had gotten another fork than only keeping a single one at her apartment, your head turning to look at her.
"Yeah, I got another fork, all your problems are solved now, I know." She said playfully, lightly nudging your shoulder. You giggle, starting on your waffle.
The breakfast-- Or brunch, as it was afternoon, goes smoothly with comforting quietness. You were finishing the last bite of your toast as you had your cheek rested on your other hand, your elbow on the table.
Kate turns off her phone, setting it aside to put her focus on you. She leaned closer to the dining table, looking at you closely.
"Are you sure you've been okay?" She asked gently, scraping the last of her waffle and putting it in her mouth, pulling you out of your spaced out state.
You nod, taking in a breath before responding. "Yeah, it's just a lot on my mind." The words came out like a breath, your eyes fixed on the table as you think it over.
"Well, it won't hurt to share. Come on." She folds her arms, pushing her empty plate forward gently as she waited for you to continue.
The crows ledged on another building within the view of the window cawed, and you stared at it, trying to come up with words while you did so.
"I...met someone," you said quietly, your eyes slowly meeting hers. You decided to give her the more positive news first, not wanting to mention the CDs you found just yet. Kate raises an eyebrow, curious as to it being someone new, or someone the two of you knew.
"Who?" She asked, eager due to your face lightly coming with a reddish tint. If she didn't focus much on your face for the sake of the conversation, she would've thought it was the sunlight.
"She was the person I bumped into when I was on a walk with Lucky...and at the airport," you said slowly and quietly, analyzing the look on Kate's face to then flick your gaze away. She stayed silent as she listened on to you, her mind searching for anything especially significant.
"Her name is Nat. She's...nice..." You shrugged, trying to play it cool as Kate slowly smiled. If you didn't look away, you might've thought to have to comment she looked like the cheshire cat from alice in the wonderland.
Not wanting to share much more with her, knowing she might get too excited, you only said, "And she's cool." You then purse your lips, your eyes going down to your plate.
"Cool? Just cool?" A smug grin replaced the smile growing on her face, but she didn't push further, already satisfied that you were still somewhat open to other people.
"Well, if that's all you're going to say, okay, but I need to know more later." She tilted her head, playing around with her fork and pushing the bit of syrup on her plate.
You nibble on your lips, thinking if you should give her the information you found out earlier, but you also wouldn't want to see it every times you opened the closet.
"I also found a box from Wanda's house I accidentally brought," you started, nearly not wanting to say it as Kate's eyes flickered to you, her form perking up slightly to sit properly. Your eyes flashed a moment of pain at the mention of her name, but it faded away.
"A box?" Her face scrunches up in confusion, trying to remember the day she helped you grab your things out from the car. There was a single box she remembered picking up, but she was unsure if it was the one you were talking about.
She inhales gently, and when you didn't continue, she asked. "What'd it have?" Her face held concern, preparing herself for whatever could be coming next.
"CDs. They're custom...I don't know what to do with them." You let out a gently, and quiet sigh. That mostly explains why you've been in bed for so long. Kate placed her fork back down, looking at you.
"Well, if you don't want them, we can sell them." She suggested with a gesture of her hand, trying to help you get rid of them.
"Or, if they have good songs, give some to me." She said plainly with a shrug, a small smile on her face. You laugh softly, and she thanked everything that you were at least somewhat fine...for now.
"Yeah, it's a good idea. And...I don't know about you holding my ex's old CDs." You narrowed your eyes, to which Kate's eyes widens.
"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to!" She shook her head and moved her hands back and forth, adding to her expression, and you only giggled.
"I'm kidding, you can have some, but just don't play it in front of me." Kate's face and posture relaxes, and a smile wasbon your face as you pushed your chair back and grabbed your plate, going to the kitchen to place it in the sink.
She followed behind you, doing the dishes with you. The rest of the day went by peacefully, laughs shared as the two of you taught Lucky some new tricks.
You've also put up the CDs in a store somewhere with Kate's help, some of them lended to her when she found some of her favorites.
Then days, weeks, turn into months later, filled with small teary nights, movie nights with ice cream, meetups with...the redhead here and there, and your world slowly brightening.
As of late, your mind couldn't help but drift back to the redhead, the memories shared with her that was somehow growing rather than stopping at all.
In a cafe, the two of you sat, enjoying each other's company as the smell of coffee and baked sweets filled the air. You can see her glancing over every now and then, taking in the sight of your profile.
Oftentimes you would end up accidentally looking into her eyes a little too long within the car, and the both of you catch it, but you never took it too far than that, or even perceived it as actual feelings.
At the beach, a lake. She had the same color of eyes as her, her eyes luminescent from the glowing sun. But hers...hers are different. They hold a greener look with a tinge more brown at the iris, and oh, so soft.
The night was quiet other than the tapping of the water somewhere in the bathroom and the humming of the AC. You didn't feel a sense of sleepiness. Really, you just wanted to stare at the darkness.
The comforter around you kept you warm, and the position you were in was as comfortable as you could get. You tried putting your hand out to the edge of the bed, letting it rest hung over the side...you probably shouldn't do that.
As you realize you were too close to the edge, you exhaled slowly and pulled your hand closer to your body once more, moving yourself to the middle of the bed.
Your eyes stare at your phone, the screen facing down.
You shouldn't.
But you picked it up anyway.
Your fingers found the messages to Nat, your eyes seeing the old messages as you searched your thoughts for some words.
Are you still up?
You sent the message with a bite on your lower lip, leaving a mark. Thinking you shouldn't have sent a message so late in the night, you gripped your phone tighter and decide to leave it on the bedside table, nearly regretting disturbing her.
But then your phone lights up on the nightstand beside you, and your eyes widen in surprise, quickly going to grab it.
Yeah. Why?
I can't sleep, and I'm bored :(
Well, I have good news for you.
good news?
Are you free tomorrow?
I think so
Do you wanna go to an aquarium with me? :)
Your eyes blinked at the screen for a moment, trying to make sense if your sleepiness invaded your brain and you imagined it or if it was actually real.
Then, after a few seconds of registering it and deciding, you quickly type your response, a smile on your face.
YES?!?
Now, go to sleep.
okay, okay
you too.
Now, you almost couldn't sleep at all, your last drops of energy fueled by the excitement for tomorrow.
But it soon dies down, and with no warning as you close your eyes once more, you fell asleep easily. The room was quiet, and if you were still conscious, you'd notice it would only be white noise and your gentle breathing.
You slept peacefully, Kate doing the same in the other room with Lucky. The room grew in coldness with the night, causing you to curl within your sleep. Slowly, the moon fades away and the sun starts to rise.
The stir of your body and waking up was fatigued and hazy, a big yawn coming from you as you rolled on your back. You stared at the ceiling for a moment before your eyes widen with a realization dawning on you, the memory of last night reminding you of the aquarium.
You jump slightly to a sitting position, and then regret it at the fast pace, making you dizzy. You absolutely did not let the blood in your brain flow back naturally.
After gently shaking off the daze and letting it fade away with a couple of blinks, you sit for a few seconds before now slowly moving to get out of bed.
You followed your morning routine, showering and everything, but this time with excitement filled in your veins. You forgot you even struggled to sleep last night. Some messages were exchanged with the redhead for the plan of how you'll get to the aquarium, and you agreed on her picking you up.
Kate was already out the house, having told you the day before that she was visiting a friend and possibly even doing a sleepover. She did invite you, but you weren't interested.
As you start to put on your shoes, your phone dings, and your hand goes to grab it, turning it over so the screen was visible. The notification shows a message from Nat.
Hey, I'm in front of the apartment.
Your eyes widen and you finish up quickly, standing up to open the door. The light outside hits you, making your eyes squint, but it spots the black car pulled up near the side of the road when you went out the apartment.
You wave at her, and the corner of her lip raises up as she rolls the window down, sliding her sunglasses down to look at you more clearer.
"You ready to go?" She nodded towards you and you mirror her movement, being more than ready to go to the aquarium.
Nat's eyes look over your appearance for a moment. She was about to close the window but then remembered to ask, "And you got everything?" Her head turned to look at you more.
"Yup." You nodded once more as you went to round the car from the front and sit in the passenger seat. She had closed the window back up now, glancing at you to make sure you had your seatbelt on.
"Seatbelt," she murmured, putting the car in drive. You smiled and grabbed the seatbelt, clicking it in for your safety.
Her eyes focus back on the road once she saw you safe and comfortable in the seat, her hands firmly on the steering wheel as she made her way through traffic and turns on the road to get to the destination.
The drive was quiet, filled with gentle music. You can see the sunlight casting the warmest glow over everything in the car, including her striking orange hair that honestly only seemed soft now.
When you arrived, she opened the door for you right as your fingertips barely even brushed against the car door handle.
Getting in was easy, the line not being awfully long seeing as it's not their busiest day of the week. They gave free packets of yogurts to each ticket holder, but you already had yours open, while Nat was saving it for later.
Her hand held a camera, and you noticed it in the corner of your vision, your lips tugging up as you realize she was reviving the old hobby she had. She took pictures and videos of the sea animals, while also sneaking in some memories of you.
You start walking through the big spaces. In the corner of the room, held a big map of the entire aquarium, from sea animals that live in the colder regions, a shark zone, the exotic section, and the small fishes.
There was an ongoing show of the otters, the staff member in the enclosure feeding them fishes and having them do tricks as they excitedly move to snatch their food or swim in the water.
They talk about facts of the otters through the segment, making many other kids and people in the room beside the two of you captured in the moment.
After that was done, you were headed to the more colder region first, seals sitting on the right side while on the left held bunches of adorable penguins.
Nat smiled gently at you, her eyes all focused on your beaming face instead of the penguins.
"Nat, look!" You gently shook her shoulders, making her turn her attention to the penguins more properly, her eyes watching as they jumped and swam, while others waddled.
"Yeah, they're adorable." Just like you. That's what she wanted to say. Just like you, the penguins were adorable. But she only chuckled softly as you gently leaned into her from the side.
The footsteps and sounds of talking echoed through each hall and room with the gentle sound of some water going down a made up waterfall.
You gasped as you saw the sharks, swimming around gracefully. They were swift with their tails moving back and forth gently.
Black tip reef sharks, nurse sharks, lemon sharks...it held most of the more known ones, but nonetheless, you were more than happy to see them.
Nat kept you close, maybe even a little protectively as you both looked through the shark zone, watching as some of them circle around in their tanks until you make it to the end of the area.
"Whoa..." You slowly walked over to the stingrays, where you can watch them from above. At least, the small baby stingrays. The bigger ones were on the sides, accompanied with some turtles.
Nat was also admiring them, seeing how the stingrays moved across the floor and slid on the rocks. Some were even camouflaged within the sand, while others hid within plantation.
You were now in the more exotic section, and Nat had to hold back a laugh when she sees you getting scared at the sight of a huge japanese crab, although she was smiling, she also would not want it near her either.
The neon lights inquired with each animal of their color, the jellyfish being a pinkish purple as it majestically floated around in the dim lighting. It was aglowed, within a circle tank.
Sometime in the big trip of exploring the aquarium, you and Nat went to the diner that was marked on the map, grabbing something to eat and drink so you wouldn't get tired.
Afterwards, your journey continues, and Nat had to change her camera's battery to her backup one, thankfully having remembered to bring it.
You were seeing the smaller tanks now, seahorses, baby crabs, shrimps and starfishes on the entire wall. Each held their names and types, giving facts of what exactly they are.
"That one looks like you." You point at a orange starfish, sitting on the rocks. It nearly seemed like it was hiding. She was expecting a cool looking fish or a shrimp, but when she follows where you were looking and your pointed finger, she gasped and lightly slapped your shoulder.
"No, it does not!" She exclaims, staring at you. You giggled, finding her reaction to be amusing.
"The hair, come on." You gestured towards the orange starfish then to her, your eyebrows raising in question for her agreement, while hers raised in a challenge.
"Just 'cause it's orange?" Her voice was nearly more higher pitched, but her face was scrunched up in utter disbelief.
The moment passes by lightly with a few more laughs and distractions of the other fishes showing off their unique colors.
You pass by some eels too, octopuses, and a giant gar that shocked you. You followed it while its long body swam forward, and Nat shook her head gently.
Soon enough, you reach to the end of the aquarium, the end of the journey a little bit saddening, but the amount of things the place held was satisfying. Nat had just the right amount of batteries for the entire trip, too.
There was a souvenir shop at the end, as always. Within it had keychains, plushies, and some snacks available to take home. You had to run your finger through some of the plushies. They seemed to fluffy and soft not to touch.
Nat had bought you a keychain of a mini plush orca, and your heart melted at her memory of remembering your first proper meetup.
Outside, the sky was orange, the clouds dissolving as the both of you made your way back to her car. You had really been in there for that long?
Nat gets in the car with you, setting her camera safely in the center console. Your eyes follow her movement, and you went to reach for it.
"No," she gently pushes your hand away while at the same time, wearing her seatbelt, and you pull your hand back to your body with a pout.
"You'll be able to go through it later." Her lips ghosted the smallest hint of a smile, and you tilt your head in curiosity, but you didn't question it as she started driving. Maybe her battery had died entirely? But you had seen her turn it off earlier with some energy still left.
After minutes upon minutes of staring out the window, watching the skies fade deeper into darkness, the car soon arrives to Kate's apartment once more.
You stood in front of the door as Nat waited for you, making sure your surroundings were safe so she knew you went inside intact.
"Ah..." You sighed gently as you look through your pockets, trying to find the house keys. Nat curiously looked to you, her expression growing with concern.
"I...forgot to bring my keys." The words were said quietly as you turned back to her. She had made sure you had everything before the two of you went too, but none of her face had any judgement.
"You don't hide a spare one anywhere?" She asked gently, looking towards the carpet in front of the door or any other places that could have the key. You purse your lips, putting your hands in the pockets.
"My keys are the spare keys." Your shoulders go down in defeat, now your mind definitely remembering how empty your pockets felt aside from your phone.
Nat paused and stepped back in front of you, her quietness being in thought while her eyebrows furrowed.
"Well...isn't Kate home?" She knew it was a low chance with how you had not reached for your phone at all, and the apartment being dark.
"No, she's at a friend's..." You shook your head, biting your bottom lip gently as you stared off at her car with the engine on behind her.
"...Do you want to hang out at my place until we can grab the keys or when she comes back?" She asks nearly hesitantly, yet in very high hopes that you'll accept, especially not wanting you to be alone or anything.
"Uh...well, I mean..." You stutter slightly for a moment, your eyes meeting hers as you thought over. A gentle cold breeze flowed against your body from the night air, causing you to shiver.
Then, you took a breath in, "I don't really have any other choice, so, if it's okay with you, yeah." Nat's eyes soften and she nods, turning to her car once more, making sure you were following behind her.
The car doors close with a gentle shut, and you settle down in the seat once more, getting comfortable as you didn't know where or how far her place was.
She turns down the AC, having noticed your shivers, and also turned up the gentle music so it wasn't entirely silent.
Your eyes grew heavy though anyway as you rested your head against the backrest, and the streetlights that passed by was starting to blur and fade into what was bothering, to now something that lured you to sleep.
The red light makes her stop the car for a moment. When she looked over to you, her eyebrows raise, but she wasn't surprised.
She gazed at your sleeping form, her eyes trailing over every feature your face held. The red light and the streetlights even added on to your face.
She shouldn't stare. Especially not when you were asleep. What if you had woken up? When the light turns green, she continues driving, shifting in her seat slightly to gather herself together.
It wasn't actually much of a long drive, only 20 minutes or so until she arrived to her place. Nat unclicks her seatbelt and took a deep breath, looking over to you once more.
She doesn't want to pick you up or anything, knowing all too well it might just be too out of your comfort zone together. Instead, she goes to reach her hand out and gently shake your shoulder.
"Hey," she whispered softly, making you slowly stir in your sleep before waking up, a small noise coming from you. You look at her in a haze of sleep, and she smiled softly.
"We're here," she unclicks your seatbelt for you before turning down the music so it didn't bother you, but being patient for your response.
"Sorry I fell asleep." You whispered, your voice quiet and husky from your rest. She shook her head, dismissing your apology as she turns off the car.
"It's fine. You were tired." She said gently with a reassuring look before opening her car door and going out to get your door for you.
When she did, she also helped you out, not wanting you to trip or anything within your sleepiness. With you out, the car door closes.
You yawned softly and closed it with your hand while Nat grabbed her keys out from her pockets.
The lamppost's light illuminated your faces, the streetsign just barely even showing 'Sixth Avenue'.
"You know, you do really look like that starfish." You said quietly, blinking away sleep as you took in the streets of her place, to then your eyes landing back to her.
"Nope." She said softly with a gentle pop of her lips and a shake of her head, going through her keys to find the one for her apartment.
"Mmhm." You hummed and nodded, urging her to agree whilst you took some steps and leaned forward. She leaned back slightly, but paused her movements.
Her hand then falls, the keys falling back all over on the keyring but still between her fingers. She turns to you, her eyes searching your face.
She takes a deep breath, "Well, I think we can both agree on one thing." She said in a whisper, but even if she spoke in a low volume, the quiet area had your voices being audible. Even the noise of the gentle wind or a loose poster hitting something being hearable.
Your eyebrows raise in question for her to continue. You stood up more properly with your brain fully waking up, but now you saw how close you were.
"That our eyes see the same thing." She said, taking a step forward. Your breaths could be seen from the cold air, and you felt her warmth, making your cheeks flush just slightly.
"...And that is?" your words were quiet under your breath, almost not even audible as you gazed at her with your heartrate going fast as if you were in a high speed chase.
Her eyebrows furrow as she searches a word in her mind for an answer to the feelings swirling in her. She found a simple, obvious one, but pushed the word away.
She decides on "...Something," As her lips were just a whisper away from yours. You shouldn't lean in closer...it was too soon. But why shouldn't you anyway?
end of chapter 9. <3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 8
------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @slutforabbyanderson @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @animealways @may-z3 @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @tia-thesimp @marvelwomen-simp @natsbiggestfan1 @fawnedolly @blacklightsposts @canvascoloredin @autorasexy @taliiiaasteria @wandanatlov3r @glorioushamsterqueen @shaniaauld03
I'm SO happy you noticed that taylor reference!! I love maroon so I thought it was perfect :]
P.S, there's a playlist made for this series if you'd like that too
"...because it feels like it will."
| W.M ( -> N.R )
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 4
Chapter Warnings: Staying underwater in a bathtub for a couple seconds, relationship problems, avoidance, distancing, alcohol, getting drunk.
Summary: Everything in your world starts to fall apart.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 5.1k
Category: Angst. Full on aaaaangst.
A/N: this was...a lot. and unlike anything I've written before, but hooooo! I love how it turned out. I was a little late, but I hope you enjoy it <3
| Started on 19/01/2024, 2:28 PM |
| Finished on 05/02/2024, 8:18 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 3 Chapter 5 ->
"When did your heart stop beating as it once used to for me?"
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
Light broke through the window, dawn visiting the sky with the sun. The bed was empty of either of your bodies. Dust could be seen floating around in the sunlight that came in the room.
You were up and about, already having finished showering and wearing your clothes. Wanda on the other hand, had gotten out the house even before you awoke.
Your feet takes you to the kitchen, the dim lighting adding nothing but only sleepiness to your still low energy. Even though you got your rest and showered.
You open the pantry to grab two slices of bread, to then put in the toaster after making sure the timer was set right. The watch on your wrist tells that it was 7:43 AM. You still had time.
As you waited for your bread to toast, you went to make a drink in your mug. Your thoughts drift to the brunette as you do so, not being able to help it.
Wanda had slowly started to not be present. You could say it's work, you could say she's busy or tired, but it was starting to be unavoidable to think about.
With you starting up work again, it being a weekday once more, you weren't sure if you were glad or not. It'll either be a distraction to not thinking about her at all, or more time alone to yourself to only be thinking about her.
A sigh leaves your mouth and you gently shake your head, trying to rid the endless thoughts in your head. Your hands cup the freshly made drink held within the warm mug, letting it sit on the cold marble counters.
Soon enough, your bread pops up from the toaster, and it was nearly perfect aside from the slightly lesser toasted parts. You probably need a new toaster.
Not caring much about it though, you grab a plate and place it on there, making your sandwiches easily for a morning breakfast. The minutes were going by a little quicker with every second you spent eating, and honestly, time was starting to look like its going against you today.
After you rush to finish the last few bites and put the plate in the sink along with your now empty mug, you go to the front door, phone and keys already in your pockets.
The drive to your workplace was a blur, your eyes were focused on the roads and your mind was preoccupied with the thoughts of everything and nothing as you tried to distract yourself with music.
You arrived soon enough and walk through the building, passing by co-workers, and many other people you didn't take mind to put a name to or even know.
Your work was pretty boring, sitting down at a desk with a plastic chair-- Yes, plastic, as there weren't any that were comfortable around the building except for the one in the boss's office.
The only thing that wasn't boring with it was being able to fiddle around with some spotlights and having fun with the colors. Your fingers move around the control board as you set everything up.
As time went by, you finished it up and let the lights do whatever you set them to do. Now, you had a choice to either sit and do something else, or do paperwork.
Although that sounded awful, you went to work on them instead, not wanting to be sore from sitting in the same position for the next few hours on your chair watching whatever show you downloaded on your phone while working on the lights.
The time went by, and you finished up most of it all, until lunch came by and it was time to get a break. You get up from your chair and leave the pen you were holding in your hand to lay upon the papers, going off in search for some food.
You made sure your phone was still in your pocket as you made your way out, your car still waiting for you outside. But, seeing as the place was close, you could just walk there. The sun shone down on you, the heat obvious both from your body warming up, and the bright yellow sunlight across the concrete sidewalk and other buildings.
After you went in the nearby café, you started cooling down a bit, the ac within it easily helping you out. The place was starting to get packed, but you've always had a small little corner you're able to keep for yourself every lunch break.
You go up to the front counter, ordering a few things before you went to the empty table. Your order number was a bit far, but you didn't mind it as you stared out the window. Lucky the sun didn't filter in through the glass here, seeing as it was behind the building.
Your mind then drifted off, stuck on a certain thought ever since you saw the clock strike lunch time. You bit down on your bottom lip and your hand reached in your pocket to grab your phone.
As your fingers unlock it and go through the apps to then scroll in your contacts list, your mind reeled with every possible thing that could happen. You probably shouldn't. You know you shouldn't. But it's worth a try.
Your thumb hovers over her name for a short while, but you give in and tap on the contact, giving in. It switches to calling mode, and you put your phone to your ear, anticipation making your heart beat faster.
The dialing tone keeps sounding out, and you were starting to regret it, but hope lead on with every beep. You hoped it doesn't go to voicemail. And it doesn't.
"Hello?" Her voice comes through the phone clearly, and you let go of a breath you've been holding quietly, looking out the window, so your eyes don't just focus on the plain table. You gather your thoughts, turning them into words.
"Hey. Um, you have lunchtime free, right?" You ask, your eyes moving to the orders list. Your number was going up, but you had enough time to keep talking with her.
"I do...Why?" She asks, as if skeptical of something. Had she forgotten about lunch break? You didn't let the curious thought linger and instead fiddle with the paper in your hand of your order number.
"I was just...wondering, because I do, and well, do you wanna have lunch together?" You say casually, expecting a denial with the many times she has before.
"Sure. Sure, that sounds good." She says, and you raise your eyebrows in surprise. But your heart jumps at the agreement.
"Okay. I'll maybe..." You pause for a second, looking down at the time on your watch. It showed 1:15 PM. "...see you at 1:20 PM?"
"I can be there by 1:30 PM." Her voice elongates some words, probably also checking her own watch as she said it. You smile, happy with her answer nonetheless.
"Okay. See you here." You say quietly, trying your best to keep your cool, like anyone else in the café. Although, they're probably pretty calm at the moment and not getting excited about something.
"See you." She didn't say anything else, and all you heard after was an end call tone. You pull your phone away from your ear, and right when you do, you notice the order list moving to your number.
You stood up, and went to grab it, thanking the cashier. When you sat back, you took a sip of your drink, but nothing more, thinking of waiting for Wanda.
As you waited, and waited, checking the time, your meal was starting to get cold and you were getting hungry. You took a couple bites here and there, enjoying your lunch.
Soon enough it was now getting to 2:20 PM. Your lunch break was ending soon, and you finished up the last of it, but not with someone you were hoping to spend it with. You check your phone again, in case you had somehow missed something even with the past few minutes you looked.
hey, are you coming?
if you have to cancel that's okay, just say it
Sent at 2:00 PM.
Wanda?
Sent at 2:14 PM.
No reply. Your hope was running short, and the café was starting to empty out. You take another look at the empty seat in front of you, then to the window's view of the roads outside. There was no sign of the brunette you much so keep precious.
You sigh, and get up, holding your phone tightly in your hands before storing it back in your pocket. It wasn't much. She was starting to deny spending lunchtime with you, and today was the first in a while she accepted. But it's worse when you find some hope and it escapes from your hands.
You put on your headphones, playing some music as you walked back, knowing the rest of the day you had to just finish up work. Hours and hours passed by and you had to stretch so you wouldn't get sore. But you made it through the end. You always do. The sun was setting as you collected your stuff and exited the building, going to your car.
You soon enough get home, having driven on auto-pilot, which was quite dangerous, but you've made it back unscathed. Or, well, physically. Mentally? You weren't doing so well.
The lock of the front door clicks with the movement of your hands, that then glide off to let your legs be free of your shoes. The place was quiet. A usual greeting whenever you'd come home, but it's gotten quieter, an in between from that horrid silence and just the atmospheric quietness. A void that seemed to swallow you up whole within your mind, replacing the silence.
You sigh heavily, walking to the bedroom. Nothing else was in your mind to do but just to take a shower. Although with how draining a shower in of itself sounded to be, you had decided with another version; the bath.
Your bag and jacket was taken off and thrown gently on the bed as you went to search for some comfortable clothes in the closet. Shirt, another shirt, jacket...Wanda's jacket, hoodie, collared shirt, and then your hand lands on a comfy oversized shirt you'd wear at home.
Sweatpants was swiped off from another part of the closet and put on the bed, ready for you get into after you were done. You go into the bathroom, closing the door behind you and locking it, even though no one else was in the house. Habit, you supposed. Plus, safety.
You turn on the faucet at the bathtub, letting the water run hastily down. You made sure the drain hole was closed and the temperature was just right before turning it off, peeling off your clothes to then carefully climb in the tub.
The warm water eased your tense muscles, the gentle small ripples visiting your skin as you moved to get comfortable. The bathtub was cold as you placed your hands on the sides, a big range in the temperature difference with the water.
Sounds of water tapping from the sink or showerhead every now and then echoes, reverberating off the walls. It was nice. Something to keep you company here and there even if your mind was hazy with thoughts.
Your eyes focus on a part of the wall somewhere in the bathroom, spacing off. You try not to do it for too long, knowing you'll only dig yourself a digger hole with thinking. Slowly, you take a deep breath in and sink into the bathtub, holding your breath in the water while bubbles went to surface.
You can feel the pressure heavy on your head. The water devouring you as you stayed down. After a few seconds though, you pull yourself back up, letting air flow back into your lungs and wiping your hair off your face.
It made you feel more alive, oddly enough, for something that's dangerous. Rather concerning if you thought about it more, but you brush it off and started to do more things, such as cleaning yourself off with some soap, the familiar scent filling the bathroom and making your exhausted soul relax just for a while.
Soon enough, you get out and dry yourself up, making sure the bathtub was drained of any water too. The cold air that visits you when you step out the bathroom, although even with a towel wrapped around your body, still stings your skin.
Your legs take you over to the bed, your hands moving on their own as you wore your clothes, the fabric covering your body and warming you right up easily.
Once you got done, you were right about to drop onto the bed, but then you look around the empty room. You end up staring at the flowers you got her in the corner of the room, sitting atop her desk. You clench your jaw slightly, and walk over to it. But you didn't do anything, really. Only your hand went up to gently touch the soft petals. You take in a deep breath before letting it go, your hand going into a fist as you let out your breath.
You turn away from it and walk back to the bed, shaking your head at your own movements and thoughts. You sat on the bed, the sheets soft on your hand. You then slowly drop down to lay your back against the mattress, your eyes looking up at the blank ceiling while your legs dangles off the edge of the bed.
With the seconds that go by, just as you were about to finally move to the pillows and lay comfortably, your phone dings with a notification. Your heart skipped a beat, and you freeze, a dreading feeling overcoming you.
You think it over and hesitate, not wanting to feel any worse, but having a gnawing feeling to check. But then you prop yourself up with your hands and grab your phone, the screen lighting up with your lockscreen as you clicked the power button.
The time shows up and a few other notifications, but one thing stood out to you most. A message. By who? Well, of course the one that's been on your mind for all of today. Your heartrate speeds up and you read the message.
Hey, sorry, I forgot to tell you I couldn't make it.
I'll try to make it home before you sleep though. Love you.
Sent at 7:34 PM.
Your eyes falter with any spark of hope you had left, and you click the power button once more, turning your phone off and slightly dropping it on the bed, it making a soft thump against the soft mattress. Your phone was fine and safe with the drop, but your heart surely wasn't.
Your throat swells up, and you hold your tongue against your teeth, trying everything within you not to let it get to you, but you slide off the bed and go to sit on the floor, your back resting against the side of the bed now.
A sniffle comes from you and your eyes well up with tears. You didn't want to cry. But with everything-- your lungs do a sharp intake of breath, and you squeeze your eyes shut, pulling your legs up to your chest and hugging your legs with your arms.
Your tears soon leak from your eyes, down to your cheeks and sobs left your mouth. God, of course you were crying. It was just a small thing. Or well, that's what your mind wants you to think. She's never left you waiting just like that.
A few more couple of minutes went by, with you letting out your built up feelings until you calm down a little more. You wipe away the mixed tears that were both from your nose and your eyes, both the skin of your hand and your arm filled with it.
They dried off though as you pulled yourself up off the floor and got back on the bed, your teeth capturing your bottom lip. So many muscles working to keep yourself moving, even though they got a rest in the bathtub, they were kept going even after.
But now, you relax a bit, shuffling to lay your head on the pillow. It was cold, so you go to grab the covers first and pull it over you. You curl up under them, your nose red from the crying. But your body got to rest as your once heavy breaths went softer with every minute.
|——————————— ᗢ ———————————|
The next day you once more awoke to empty sheets. Again and again. You were starting to question what exactly was happening, because it all seemed to be something rather than just your mind playing tricks on you.
Nothing much happened in the day. You worked at home, doing stuff on your laptop. Once you were done, you laid around relaxing while all at the same time being anxious. While the sun went down, the skies got cloudy, and just as the moon started to glow brightly, rain starts pouring down.
It was getting cozy, with the dim lighting. You watched a show on the tv, but wasn't really waiting on much, just scared of what you'll have to soon face.
As an hour or two go by with you sitting on the couch, you start to get sleepy, your eyes heavy. But right as you shut off the tv and was about to get up, you hear keys clinking near the front door.
You kept your place on the couch, your eyes keeping watch of it, but when you hear a struggle with the keys going in and not unlocking, you stand up, going to go open it for her.
You turn the lock and open it, behind it revealing Wanda who had seemed like she just got up from crouching to grab her keys.
"Hi." She says with a small laugh, smiling sheepishly as she held her keys between her fingers, showing them to you. "Slippery hands."
You didn't react much, only your lips moved to form a straight line as you stepped aside to let her in. She goes in and kicks off her shoes while you closed the door behind her, locking it.
As Wanda went to take off her jacket too, you walk more to her front, your mind only focused on what had happened yesterday.
"You didn't show up yesterday," you say in a whisper, the words coming out of your mouth without much thought. She turns her head to look at you, her mouth open slightly as she took in a breath in surprise but as if moving to say something.
"I got caught up in doing stuff and I...forgot." She puts her keys in her pockets, turning fully to you. That was when she saw your face, how different you seemed than the soft look you'd usually look at her with.
"We had lunch break, Wands." The nickname slipped from your mouth easily, especially in the situation of the confrontation. Your voice was gentle, but stern, and full of emotion.
"I know, but so much is going on and..." she trails off as she looks away from you, and you had hoped she'll go on, but instead she purses her lips and her eyes travel back to you, a breath of a sigh leaving her mouth.
"Come on, it's going to be New Year's soon." Your eyes widen a bit at the mention, having forgotten it was going to be the start of a new year from the weeks you've been lost in. She puts her hands up as if to gesture before she reaches in a bag she had brought home, grabbing something.
"I got us wine." She pulls out the bottle of wine, a small smile playing on her lips as she raises her eyebrows. Surprise was on your face before you furrow your eyebrows, seeing where she was going with this.
"Right...but we should really talk." You say, your eyes following her movement as she walked off to the kitchen, grabbing some wine glasses and popping open the wine.
"Soon, Y/N," she said sternly herself, focused on pouring the drink down in the glasses as you made your way to where she stood near the kitchen island.
"Now, are we going to party or are you going to ruin it?" She finishes up, grabbing a glass full and holding it out for you, her face obvious with expecting you to go with the first choice.
Your eyes flicker from her and the glass, before lingering on the glass. A breath leaves your body through your nose gently and your hand impulsively reaches up to grab it. It was a moment of weakness and you took it.
She smiles and hums, grabbing her own glass and taking a sip. You too, although you took a bit more than she did. The liquid easily ran down your throat, although burning slightly.
"You know what I think we should do?" She sounded out, her eyes looking towards the watch, counting down the hours until New Year's came around. You follow her gaze, and there was around two hours left.
You hum in question, looking back at her. She smiled wider and goes to the drawers nearby, opening one. You gazed curiously at her, wondering what exactly she was up to.
"We should play some Uno." She holds up the box that held the cards, and your eyebrows rose, but finally your lips raise up too slightly.
She goes over to the living room, sitting down on the couch and setting up the cards. You follow behind her, sitting on the bean bag nearby the couch as you wait for your set of cards.
The two of you start the game, it starting off slow until it moved to a few Unos and fails. You had one too many reds now, and really you were starting to hate the color.
She calls out Uno, and you had two cards left. You hoped she didn't have a yellow, seeing as she's been going with your last few reds and blues, but not a yellow.
As it was her turn, she cheers and whoops, throwing her last card onto the pile of uno cards you two played. It was a wild card.
"I won!!" She says, putting her hands in the air, and you had your mouth open in shock, looking at her with an unbelievable expression.
"That's not fair! You're using a wild card." You put your hand out, gesturing towards it. Sure you've seen this strategy before, and even used it yourself, but it definitely frustrated you most times.
"It is fair!" She laughs, drinking more from her glass and finishing the last drop of wine in it, leaving it back on the coffee table next to the stack of cards.
"Nope!" You say, grabbing the pile of Uno cards and gathering them, putting them together properly once more for another match.
"Is!" She exclaims with a smile and a tilt of her head, watching you shuffle the cards when you got them all.
Soon after a couple more rounds, and a couple more wine refills, the two of you get drunker as time inched to New Year's, your happiness only there because the alcohol riled you up.
"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" She asks, laughing, and her words slurring as you had your feet in her lap, your back laid on the floor while hers was against the couch.
"Because we are extremely drunk. That's how." You say through a giggle, putting up your index finger as if to make a point.
You moved to sit up and shuffle to sit beside her instead of laying down, her gaze focused on the time. You smile, looking at her lovestruck, although drunk. You then whisper, "I love you."
But she only went with, "Andddd...Happy New Year's!!" She puts her hands up and turns to you, going in to kiss you on your lips. Your eyebrows raise in surprise, but you take it.
That was how that night turned out. You both went on, and danced, and did other things until you fell asleep. The morning was ruined with a horrid hangover, but you managed, somehow. Wanda just spent her day by going with sleeping longer.
And then, in the span of months, the relationship you built so carefully with love and passion, through four months, started to fall down. All along with your heart. Slowly. Oh, so slowly.
You started to only see her in the middle of the nights, whenever the bed dips and you wake up just slightly. Most times she wouldn't even bother to go close to you and pull you close. Just keeping her distance.
On some random day, you decide to break and pick up your phone, being unable to deal with any of it anymore.
You go through the grueling process of going to your contacts and searching her up once more, your fingers not hesitating to tap on the call button.
And as you wait, you hear the calling noise sound out. That sickening. Call tone. But after just a few more, she picks up.
"Hello?" She says, and you could hear a bit of her sokovian accent coming out. Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion. She only did that when she was angry or something, but you went on with your plan.
"Wanda, we need to talk." You say, although slightly calmly, you were certainly trying your best to keep yourself grounded than splutter out all the words and questions in your head.
"Yeah?" She says in a breath, and you can hear something in the background. You assume she dropped something, because it sounded like clutter.
"Why are you being so distant lately?" You slowly ask, and she went silent. It left you sitting in your thoughts as to what exactly she was doing on the other side of the call.
Probably thinking about her next words. Probably 'busy with work,' probably this, probably that. Then you hear her take in a breath.
"...I think we need to take a break." She says suddenly. You were expecting it. Not that sentence, and certainly not that straightforward. You were expecting her to say, 'We need to break up.' But your mouth would be open slightly either way.
This was happening on a phone call. Of all the times you could be together, and she decides to do it over the phone. Sure, you rang her up, but it was to go in the direction of communication, not to do something a little extreme.
"What? Wanda, what we need least of all is a break. Honestly, we need more time together than less." You say in disbelief and scoff, knowing you had spent less time than you ever had the start of last year.
"Communication. We need that. Please, we've been through this before." Your voice came out more gently, and a little shakily, your thoughts having gone to the past but not lingering.
"I tried spending time with you. It's just...I don't know, Y/N." She said in frustration, and your eyes roll slightly then move around the room, looking at every furniture here as you tried to make sense of the situation and find more words to say to her.
"What do you mean, you 'don't know'??" You question. She was either just as confused of her emotions or feelings just as you were or, she was holding something back.
"I love you, you know that. But I...don't think we can work right now." She said urgently at first before transitioning to a slower pace in her talking. Your eyes well up with tears, and it took everything in you not to straight up hang up the phone. You had to deal with this even through the tears while talking to her. You took a deep breath.
"Talk, Wanda." You say, and she goes quiet once more. This time, perhaps out of guilt. The silence was deafening, and you had nothing to focus on except for the hardwood flooring and the carpet.
"I...think I'm falling out of love with you." At that, your heart drops. Her voice was shaky too, and full of emotions. Way more than you've ever heard for the past few days.
"What...?" The word comes out in a breath from your mouth. It didn't feel real. This didn't feel real. Your heart didn't even feel like it was beating anymore. Was this one of your nightmares? Well, it's a real one, that's for sure, with the texture of the couch felt against the skin of your hands.
"I don't wanna fight with you and...you're making no sense." You look up and sniffle, trying your best not to let yourself cry while still on the call. Wanda was silent.
"But okay. If that's what you really want." You nod continuiously, your voice obvious in sounding like you're about to tear up. And you were.
"I'll see you later, Y/N." She said. You didn't even get the chance to hang up, the ending tone sounding out and echoing. The silence wasn't a welcome back at all. A welcome to hell? Maybe.
You sat with your shoulders slumping, processing what had just happened, and you finally break, crying once again.
The rest of the day was filled with dread and like your heart was getting beat and shattered to a million peaces. You had retreated to the comfort of your bed, laying in it and letting your tears stain the pillow you laid your head on.
You slept all alone.
But you'd do it over and over again for her. Just because you believed it'll pass with time. Just because...you didn't want to let go yet. Just a little longer.
You only saw her once in december. And it wasn't even really december anymore, it was new year's day. Plans that started every now and then, though rare, was getting cancelled.
She seemed like she was getting sick to her stomach every time she met you face to face once more. Either that or your mind was tricking you.
Your body subconsciously moved every now and then, searching for the warmth of another body next to you, but there wasn't one, and your body had found your own warmth by curling up instead.
end of chapter 4. </3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 3 Chapter 5 ->
---------------------
taglist <3 - join here! :]
@may-z3 @ludasgf @lovelyy-moonlight @red1culous @justanotherteenpoet @fxckmiup @dmenby3100 @natashasilverfox @wandsmxmff @simp-erformarvelwomen @marvelwomen-simp
AAAAAAAAAH I'm so happy you loved it and took your time to read it all and write your little comments down. pouring my entire heart and soul into a bottle rn so I could give it to you with a warm hug :]
really, this whole series has been just me exploring my writing and trying to see what I could come up with while also dealing some things myself so I did worry a little about how it would go, but every word you said just...I'm gonna go lay down on the floor. and thank YOU so so much for your love<333
I love you.
| W.M -> N.R
Undeserving of a Love Like Yours, Chapter 12
Chapter Warnings: None, I don't think
Summary: The day you chose a path for yourself was the day she also made her very own choice, and the weight of the world was lifted without any more time wasted.
Series Summary: When you're stuck in a complete hole of confusion and hurt with the one you thought you loved most, a certain redhead finds her way into your life.
Word Count: 3.6k
Category: Hurt/Comfort(?), Fluff, Fluff, and FLUFF!! oh, did I say...? Fluff.
A/N: idk if the beginning is lame? but I really hope it isn't - In compensation of all the angst and finally, to put an end to this series, I give you, the last chapter. It's been an incredibly fun adventure :] this might be the most tender chapter (or fic) I've written yet. I hope all of you enjoyed it as much as I have and I'm really really happy at the amount of support I see some of you give me. ily ily all<3 I'm back in my groove HEHEH!!!
P.S: this is better with reputation on or the series playlist. ;] (specifically starting at fortnight or anywhere at the bottom)
Series Playlist
| Started on 31/03/2024, 8:16 AM |
| Finished on 13/05/2024, 4:15 PM |
Masterlist | Series Masterlist | N.R Masterlist
<- Chapter 11
"I'll end the torture I put on myself...and the one you put on yourself, because no one ever deserves such a thing but love."
(I will never not love that picture of her<3)
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The rain earlier sheened the streets with gleams of reflections. The lampposts glowed in a warm orange. It was cold, but in the most cozy way. At least, if you were under a blanket. Right now, your body was shivering and your hands might soon go numb if you stayed outside any longer.
Windows of shops were bright with light, bars were dim with crowds of people, and a creak of a door from an old aged store thats always been there, ever since you first visited Kate.
There was a group of people, laughing heartily from a joke as you walked by. They seemed kind. On the other side of the street was two people, a couple perhaps, smiling gently as they shared a small cake, enjoying theirselves. Another, was walking hand in hand.
You sighed, keeping your hands in the pockets of your jacket in the meanwhile. At least it was some type of warmth. It may not be another hand, but your jacket was your friend.
The apartment ridded your bodily shivers, but your fingers were definitely entirely numb and redder than usual as you closed the door. Meanwhile, golden fur brushed against your legs and just barely appeared in your vision below you.
Leaning down, you smiled softly, scratching Lucky behind his ears before kicking your shoes off and moving to sit on the couch. Or rather, slightly fall atop it. You closed your face with both your hands. All this silence, pining and desperately waiting was driving you crazy.
Lucky had laid down next to you, looking at you adorably with his one eye. Your body was lazily laid down, but you shifted to hug his cuddly figure, him instantly snuggling into the embrace.
You stayed like that for a while, and he didn't move at all until you pulled away, sliding your phone out from your pockets. The time showed on the front screen, with a wallpaper of you and Nat at the aquarium.
The urge you had to change it to something else. But you couldn't-- it was too precious. You sat up, then moved to stand, finding your contacts app.
Yes, you might also throw up soon if you stared at your contacts any more than you already have the past few months, but this was something that had to be done.
The room was quiet as you paced the floor, your feet padding against the wood quietly. A notification came in that had you flickering your eyes to your phone again, but it was just an indication of Kate adding to her Instagram story.
Checking, it was just a video of her showing off her archery skills and having fun with her friends from class. Well, while she was out having fun, you were dying with a decision you had to make.
...You shouldn't think like that. In fact, you were happy she was much happier than how you felt. Ah, who are you kidding? You shouldn't even think about it at all. Your screen went back to your list of contact names.
The one at the bottom you've been dreading to even lay your eyes upon appears into view. You didn't text or call her. Instead, you went into the detail view.
A button with red text held itself in place. Red was danger. Sure. It meant it was a risk and it needed you to go through a confirmation step first. But for you it was the opposite.
Block this contact?
Are you sure?
Finally after a moment of hesitation, you tap on 'Yes', and the name disappears. You had stopped your pacing long ago and now you stood in the middle of the living room, contemplating the option you chose. Just like that.
You had made your decision. It was time to let go a while ago. But something held you back. At least until the redhead came along, gently making herself at home within your heart.
Lucky stared at you as your shoulders went down, and you couldn't tell if it was in despair or relief. Maybe both. Asking her the question that shouldn't have been asked.
You shouldn't have done such a thing. You had messed up. A whole lot. Now you had nothing but yourself. Why did you even dare to?-- because you wouldn't want to get yourself stuck in something you feared would take yet another year's time to heal from.
Realisations after realisations were overcoming your head like a crow cawing at you to snap back into reality. Maybe a walk by yourself without interruptions did the trick after all.
You shook your head, going back to the couch, taking a seat that you definitely needed with everything happening. She's all thats been filling up your memories lately. So much, to the point that her hand prints were all over your soul.
You should call her up, but what if she hates you now? Considering the disappointment you've gotten before on a phone call, you had doubt poisoning all over your veins.
A sigh left your mouth for the hundreth time and you put your phone on the couch, setting it aside. You needed time, and she probably did too. Plus, if you continued any more, having just gotten over a single step of blocking a contact, you might as well faint if you even look at your messages with Nat.
Lucky rested his head on your leg, looking up at you knowingly as he felt your tiredness. Your hand settles on his fur, going through it gently.
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
Nat was staring at her phone as she walked outside, her teeth sunk into her lower lip. She's been pacing in front of her apartment, having just finished drinking some hot coffee at a nearby shop. She thought it would calm her, especially with the rain earlier and the cold night air.
But, it only made her energized, her mind going more aware. As coffee is supposed to do. Really, she should have just gotten tea or a hot chocolate and maybe she would have been fine.
She's been looking at your text messages, ones thats been sent days ago now. Neither of you had talked in so long. Or at least to her, it felt like centuries, ages. She hoped desperately to magically see a text appear from you of saying something, or perhaps that you'll appear at her apartment.
But there was nothing. It was a fault of two sides, neither was really in the wrong, but if neither said anything, it'll simply slowly die.
She felt your distance, and she knew your mind was possibly getting just as loud as hers was. She had to do something, and fast, or the negative possibilities of whatever could happen would become reality.
Her legs started walking continuously forward rather than pacing, deciding to go towards the apartment you were at. She stored her phone in her pocket, determined to get to you rather than let it sit any longer.
She could never possibly hate you. She wouldn't even if she could. The moon and stars had disappeared, the clouds having covered it up. She didn't need their company, anyway. But the rain did come along to be her company.
Great. It was heavy, and people outside retreated to nearby shops and restaurant. She didn't follow them. Thank god for her jacket, but it was still all the more freezing cold.
Her walking slowly speeds up. Then, the splashing of boots running across the sidewalk sounded out through the streets.
Red car lights were in the reflections of the road, blurred from the rain water. A horn sounded out somewhere, probably for a stubborn person looking at their phone as they sat at a stop light. But she couldn't bother to see what it was at all.
The redhead, getting hit by the rain from every angle as she pants, almost out of breath from all the steps she's taken. If the sole of her feet wasn't firm on the concrete, she probably would have slipped.
But, she gets closer with obstacles and needing to find her way through people before she soon arrives. She takes a couple deep breaths after breathing through gasps, her lungs absolutely getting a work-out from the running.
Nat swallows down the burn in her throat, slowly recollecting herself and standing up straighter. When she looks up at the windows of the apartment, the lights are on.
It means you're here.
You're home.
Nat walks close to the door, a little calmer now and her hand goes up hesitantly.
She knocks on the door, but an answer awaits for far too long. Too many seconds.
She looks at the doorbell button.
She presses it.
A ringing that goes through the house can be faintly heard, before some gentle footsteps grow louder, nearing towards the front door.
It opens, and she sees you.
You were blown away by the sight in front of you. Almost quite literally from how windy it was outside, too. Nat, drenched in the rain, and out of breath as if she ran all the way here, because she did. You were definitely going to faint now from the sudden appearance.
Yet, at the realization of the sight in front of you, the two of you having just stared at each other, your face instantly fills with worry and concern. "Gosh, Nat, what are you--"
"I love you!" she blurted out, cutting you off in your sentence. Her voice was determined as she stared at you in such a vulnerable way, her eyes wandering your face to see your emotions.
You stood there, as she kept getting drenched from the rain. She thought she lost it all because you had shock visible in your eyes. Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe she shouldn't have-- But your gaze softened, and you stepped back slightly to let her in.
She steps in, a confused and curious expression on her face at your silence, but she lets you close the door before watching you turn around.
You went closer, your hands going to cup her cheeks as you leaned in until your lips softly touched. She had met you halfway, her own hands instinctively landing on your hips. Finally.
You could feel the cold rain on her lips before you pulled away slowly, but resting your forehead against hers, her breath warm against your skin.
"I love you, too," you whispered, but from how close you were to her, you didn't need to be any louder. Her heart had skipped a beat, and her lips raised up, absolutely in joy of your reply.
"We've switched roles...except you got the worse part," you let out a chuckle, tugging on the soaked jacket she was wearing that did nothing to protect her from the cold, until your eyes landed on her soft forest green eyes.
She gave you a soft smile, but her body shivered. Her boots were practically filled up with water, and the water dripped to the floor, but you didn't mind.
"Let's get you dried up," you said, going off to your bedroom to grab some towels for her. "Um--" She stood there for a moment, wondering if she should follow you or not.
"You can use my bathroom, come on." You urged her as you draped a towel over heer shoulders and went behind her to gently push her forward.
Her cheeks blush a pink tint, but she walks forward, going into your bedroom. As you were grabbing her some clothes, she took off her jacket, and pulled out her phone.
"Oh--" she pulled out the cassette player she brought from her apartment, pulling it out from her bag and placing it on your bed gently. Thankfully, it was dry and didn't get hit by the rain.
"I...fixed this up. It wasn't the belt. I mean, I replaced it anyway, but some parts had dirt covering them," she said, looking up to you as you walked back to her with a shirt and sweatpants in hand. You raised your eyebrows, intrigued at how she did it herself when you forgot.
It looked like it was brand new, shining brightly with the dim light with you inspecting it. You then went to grab a cassette tape from your shelves and your headphones to plug in, then you test it.
She had unfolded the t-shirt you got in the meanwhile, keeping herself occupied instead of just watching you. She held it up to her frame, seeing that it was just about the same size as hers.
You smiled softly, listening to the music and looking at her. "This sounds...amazing. You did good work in this." At that, her face lit up, and her smile reflected yours.
"Thank you," she said gently, putting the t-shirt back on the bed to wear later, her hands settling on the towel on her shoulder that kept her warm, even if its just a little.
"Now go, take a warm shower before you freeze to death or something." You gestured to the bathroom door, and she quietly giggled as she turned around, going off to shower.
Your gaze was adoring as you watched her go, then you went back to looking at the cassette player, shaking your head at the incredible handiwork she had.
Then, noticing the curtains of the apartment were still open while outside it was nighttime, you decide to go forward and close them, putting the cassette player down with your headphones. Of course, making sure you paused it rather than letting the music playing on its own.
Once done with the bedroom curtains, you gently shut the door on your way out to the living room, letting Nat have her privacy as you close the rest of the curtains.
One view of the windows though, had caught your attention. It was the larger window Kate had in her apartment, so it showed a perfect view of the sky and the city.
The night was starry now, the rain having settled down and the clouds dissipating. As you stood there admiring the moon and trying to figure out which white dot was a star and which one was a planet, Nat had come out the bedroom, wearing the clothes you gave her.
She stands beside you, gazing up and following the direction of your eyes. Nearly all the planets were shining in the sky, surprisingly enough.
Her hand gently intertwined with yours and her eyes fall back to you, a soft smile gracing her lips. Feeling the warmth of her hand had you turning to look at her, heat rising to your cheeks.
"Ты галактика (Ty galaktika)," she whispered, her free hand going up to gently cup your cheek, her love genuine in her eyes. You smiled softly, your heart jumping in joy.
"Does that mean galaxy?" You guessed gently and curiously, finally getting the chance to ask of one of her sentences you couldn't recognize.
She nodded gently, and then realized you still didn't know the full meaning. "It means you're the galaxy." She whispered, making your eyes widen and your lips part in surprise at the deep meaning, having thought it only meant one word.
You breathed out a chuckle before leaning in to gently capture her lips in a tender kiss, as if it was on instinct, a habit you had already developed naturally, when you haven't kissed each other ever since the first, or even seen each other in days.
But oh, you were depths upon depths in love with her. She returned the kiss, pouring her heart and soul into it, and your bodies fit each other like puzzle pieces.
Considering you were slowly moving towards your bedroom, you reached to the living room lamp when you were close enough, turning it off, knowing you wouldn't be going back into the room and Kate wasn't going to be home until tomorrow. Something about staying at her mom's? You didn't know, but you couldn't be bothered when your fingers entangled in red hair.
When the darkness grew, so did your passion. After a while though, you parted, pausing for a moment with your forehead rested against hers. You breathed in through the space between the two of you, your breaths colliding on skin and mixing.
"Does this make us..." You start in a whisper, but trail off, hesitant to say the word. The corners of her lips tug up in the meanwhile. It was time, and she was ready to jump into it with you.
"Lovers?" She suggests slowly, feeling your hand on her chest that rose and fell with her shallow breathing. You nod to her question, confirming that was what you wanted to say.
"Yes." She breathed out before her lips leaned in and continued to meet yours softly, her hand traveling from your waist up to your back. For the moment, the world only held the two of you.
|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|
You now laid against Nat comfortably on the bed, sitting in the dim lighting as the crickets quietly chirped in the background. You nuzzled into her neck for a moment as you wrapped your arms around her shoulders.
She gently rubbed her hand up and down your back, resting her cheek gently against the side of your head. You then turn your face out from the crook of her neck, looking up at the redhead.
Natasha smiled softly, her eyes meeting yours as she gazed into your loving eyes. She couldn't help but feel a sense of peace and happiness wash over her with someone, for the first time.
You shifted yourself by firmly gripping her shoulders and pushed yourself up, your legs on the sides of her hips as your hands went to cup both her cheeks.
"You're so pretty." You whisper softly, your thumb gently rubbing her soft skin as she stared at you, her smile growing wider.
"And you're..." She wanted to return the compliment, but paused, unable to find one that was completely perfect for you, because you were simply too gorgeous.
"ты красивая (ty krasivaya)," she then said, and you raise your eyebrows, but your heart was still beating with love for her, knowing it definitely meant something that
"...What does that mean?" You asked, tilting your head in curiosity. She giggled softly, noticing that you looked like Liho whenever she got curious.
"It means you're beautiful, моя любовь (moya lyubov)." She leaned in closer, keeping her eyes on yours. You loved how smoothly it comes from her lips.
"And that?" you ask. Even though you could guess, you wanted to make sure, and to hear her translate it into English for you only made you fall deeper for her.
She blushes slightly, but replies nonetheless. "My love," she whispers, shaking her head. She nuzzles her nose against yours when she leaned in closer, making you giggle softly.
"I love you," you said under your breath, feeling her hair gently tickle your fingers as you still had your hand cupped on her cheeks.
"I love you, too," she replies, going in for yet another kiss. You moved your hands down, wrapping around her neck once more.
Your heart was soft and your shoulders held little to no weight at all on them as you lay in this moment with her. It was as if nothing could lay a finger on either of you. You then pull back slightly, staring into her eyes.
"You know, your eyes are so green," you whispered softly, even though you've stared into them a thousand times. She blushes, but smiles.
"I can listen to your compliments all night if thats what you want," she commented, her voice raspy yet gentle. Her hand had gone under your shirt gently to trace gentle patterns on the skin of your back.
"I would very much love that," you said through another giggle, leaning ever so closer to her. You placed your hand on her chest, her heartbeat thumping against your palm as you settle beside her.
Nat pulls the covers up gently up the two of you, making sure you were warm and comfortable. Every touch of her hands held care and gentleness, making your heart swell.
She trails her hand off to your cheek, gently placing it on there. Your eyes flicker down to it, and you lean into her touch, smiling. She rubs her thumb in a slow back and forth motion.
Your eyelids slowly fell to a close, the gentle motion soothing you to sleep. The broken pieces of your shattered heart had been picked up, and she was careful enough to put it all back together.
end of chapter 12, and the end of this series. <3
Series Masterlist <- Chapter 11
In decision you'll hone, but you too shall run from the option you were given. Then find acceptance and it will be forsaken.
"All the things I didn't do for the sake of my mind." - R.
"All the things I shouldn't have done, but did anyway." - N.R
"...Everything I should have done." - W.M
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