Cordelia Goode X Wilhemina Venable - Tumblr Posts
I miss you
Prompt:“I know its been months since we broke up but I just found one of your old sweatshirts in my wardrobe and its making me miss you.”
Pairing:Cordelia x Wilhelmina
Word count: 1092
Warnings: a bit swearing otherwise none
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She new that this was risky and probably absolutely stupid, but she didn’t know what else to do. It was all her fault, she was aware of that. And she was also aware of the fact that Cordelia probably already moved on and had someone knew by now.
But there was this hope inside of there. This hope she never knew she even had. She wasn’t a person to hope, but she also always thought she wasn’t a person to fall in love with someone, still she did exactly that. And since it happened, the only thing that this love brought to her was hurt. Hurt in any way possible.
She had been sitting in her car in front of the academy for the past thirty minutes but she couldn’t bring herself to go out there and talk to Cordelia. But wasn’t that exactly why she came in the first place? After a good fifteen minutes more she opened the door of her car and started walking to the big white front doors of the place that ones brought her joy and felt like home to her.
She gently knocked on the door and waited. It was probably just a few seconds but to her it felt like eternity. Suddenly she found herself looking in Cordelia’s eyes. The women who taught her how to love. The women who, for the first time in her life made her feel at peace. Until she fucked it all up.
“How can I help you?” She looked at her like she was a stranger, like they never met each other. Like they didn’t now they’re darkest secrets. Still Cordelia walked away and left the door open. Implying she could follow. And she did that, knowing not to bother closing the door. It would do that itself, or rather through Cordelia’s powers.
She followed Cordelia up the stairs and into her office. With her cane it was hard keeping up with her so she didn’t answer the question until they were in her office.
“I know its been months since we broke up but I just found one of your old sweatshirts in my wardrobe and its making me miss you.” Cordelia slowly looked at her.
“Bold of you to come here and say something like that to me, you are the one that broke up with me, remember?”
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Cordelia entered their shared bedroom and looked at her in confusion.
“Why are you packing? Where do you go? Not one of your business-trips again, cause I-,” she couldn’t go on cause she was cut off.
“No, not a business-trip. I’m leaving, I’m breaking up with you.” Cordelia looked at her in disbelief. That must be a joke, they were happy. She had no reason to break up with her.
“You’re joking, aren’t you? This is insane, why would you break up with me?”
“Do I look like I’m joking to you, I’m fully serious.” Cordelia felt a tear fall down her cheek while she looked at her closing the suitcase.
“But, I love you.” She looked up, sarcastically chuckling.
“Stop pretending, no you don’t.” And with that she grabbed her things and left. What she didn’t see was Cordelia breaking down in the middle of the room and crying her eyes out.
What she didn’t know was that Cordelia didn’t smile for nearly two weeks after that. It was Madison of all people who cracked the first smile out of her after everything that happened. And even though she smiled again it was rarer than normally. She wasn’t the same as before.
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“I know that, but not because I stopped loving you.” It was out. She didn’t plan on saying it. It made her weak and pathetic. Crawling back to Cordelia, telling her that she misses and still loves her. But it caught Cordelia’s attention.
“What? If not, then what was the reason? You never told me, you just left.” Cordelia was hurt. It was obvious even to her.
“I thought you would leave me one way or another and if I just left you before you had the chance to, it would hurt less.” Cordelia didn’t know what to say. Didn’t she know that she was her world?
“Are you insane? Why would I leave you?”
“Because I’m disgusting and pathetic. The way I stand her admitting everything to you, I can’t even live on my own without missing you everyday. I’m holding onto something I could never have. You are so beautiful, intelligent, funny and attractive. Everybody loves you. While I’m ugly and disgusting, no one loves me. They all just make fun of me. It’s been like that my whole life. Not even my own parents loved me. But you know what? I deserve it. Look at me. I can’t walk without a fucking cane.”
Cordelia was shocked. She thought she knew the other woman, knew what she felt like, knew that she loved her. But she knew nothing. She felt so guilty for never having doubted her happiness. Or having asked her how she really felt.
“That’s not true. I love you. And don’t even start arguing with me. Because I do and nothing you say can change that. You’re stuck with me. You made my life better. You brought joy to it. And the girls were quite fond of you too. And why would you ever think that you are disgusting or ugly?”
“Have you seen my back?” Cordelia stepped forward and whipped her tears away.
“To be precise, no i haven’t. Because you just wouldn’t let me.” Cordelia slowly stepped behind her. She laid a hand on her shoulder and gently started to open her shirt. Cordelia could feel her tense up under the touch but she didn’t protest so she didn’t stop.
When she had unzipped the shirt she pulled it down a little. Cordelia heard the other woman sniff quietly.
“You see what I mean now?” Cordelia gently placed a kiss on the other woman’s upper back and zipped the shirt up again.
“No, I don’t,” she turned her around, “you are beautiful. You disability or your back or your cane don’t change that. You will always be the most stunning and beautiful woman to me. I love you, Wilhemina Venable.” Cordelia took Wilhemina’s face between her hands and gently placed a kiss on her lips. She could feel that her lips were wet because of the tears she cried. Still it was the best feeling to be reunited with the woman she loved and thought she lost.
Cordelia Goode
You are loved ☆♡♧
Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable
I miss you ♧♡
American Horror Story
Cordelia Goode
Wilhemina Venable
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