Deaged Au - Tumblr Posts

Nest Swap 7

masterpost

Tim had one major takeaway about his experience when he got back to the right part of town and could stop looking over his shoulder for the Sausage Guy: He had to get better at this. 

Tim went right back to his hideout and then into the secret hideout portion, determined. He knew himself. There would be lots of useful information on the computer.

It took a while to find anything. But he was right. There was a treasure trove of information. There were years worth of mission reports, and there were multiple procedural handbooks. 

Batman apparently released one every autumn. Tim started printing them, and then looked at the much shorter Young Justice handbook. That seemed approachable. 

He read through that on the computer while the printer was still whirring away. It was only 21 pages long. Tim crunched on an apple in one hand and used the other to scroll down the side progress bar. This was all pretty simple. A lot of it wasn’t relevant to him because it was about the chain of command and coordination, but there were some interesting things about personal discretion and mission security. There were also some interesting implications vis-a-vis the color coding and graphic design for each section, which Tim could only assume was meant to hold the attention of an audience for whom the length would be challenging.

Once he finished that, he gathered up the most recent Batman procedural handbook and stapled it carefully into a neat and portable workbook. He took the indexes for each earlier edition as well so that he could easily cross-reference what he might need to look in another year's handbook for. He also found an empty notebook and some writing utensils. Then he dragged it all upstairs.

He put it on the table. Tim pressed his lips together pretty hard and hummed. It was a lot of paper. He probably needed a juice break.

He took care of that first. He spotted lunch meat while he had the fridge open and his stomach growled at him. Fair enough! Tim made a sandwich and ate it while he read and took notes on stakeouts. 

There were some areas for improvement on what he’d done. He took a few notes of what he really needed to remember. Then he turned back to the beginning of the handbook to read it through properly.

“Huh,” Tim said, squinting at the red all-caps admonition to never access these materials outside of a Bat-approved hideout or to print them. “Well, you should have told me before.” He ignored that and settled in with a pink highlighter for a long read. He had no idea how much time had passed, but it was all dark outside. The only light was the sickly glow from streetlights.

“Proximity alert,” said an unknown voice.

Tim jumped halfway out of his skin and looked around wildly. About a moment later he registered that the voice was kinda robotic sounding. “Where?” he asked stupidly. 

“External wall proximity alert,” said the robot.

His heart rate jumped up again. He accidentally dropped all his papers when he stood up. Tim started gathering them again and then realized no, he didn’t have time for this. He breathed heavily and looked around for an answer. What did he do?

“Initiating shutdown,” the voice said pleasantly. “In 3, 2, 1.”

Metal shutters slid down over the windows. Tim whirled around at the sound of thuds all over the apartment. It was dark inside. After moment emergency lighting turned on, soft red lights at ankle height that he had never noticed before. That was the only light source aside from what he forgot on in the kitchen.

The only sound for a few seconds was his own harsh breathing. Tim swallowed hard and wrapped his arms around himself. Was this ok? Did that shutdown mean he was safe from whoever was trying to get in? Maybe he could just wait it out. He tried to slow down his breathing. It didn’t work. His head felt kinda swimmy. He swallowed hard and stumbled towards a window. He couldn’t see anything, obviously, but maybe he could listen and figure out who it was. 

Despite thinking that, he jumped straight up when someone banged a fist against the metal shutter. 

“Let me in, bird boy!” came a female voice. She paused. “Let us in, it’s me and the Big Bird.”

Big Bird? Like, the yellow giant bird with the huge claws? It was real?

He felt like he was going to throw up.

Why was Big Bird at his house? And why was Big Bird real? Was Big Bird a predator? Tim started crying a little. Why was Big Bird trying to break into his house? He kept each sniffle silent, petrified that Big Bird was going to hear him. They didn’t actually know that he was in there. 

“You’re in trouble, Mister,” she continued. “Answer your phone sometimes!” She hit the window again. Tim put his hands over his mouth to keep as quiet as possible and hiccuped. 

‘I’m in trouble and she brought the bird to punish me.’ Tim dropped to the floor and hunched together as small as possible, butt touching his heels and arms wrapped around his shins. He buried his head in between his knees. ‘What did I do? Is this- is this because I blocked Robin’s messages? Why does this lady even know about that?’

“Timmy Tim Tim,” sang a new voice. Male. Pleasant. Tim hunched inwards even further. “This is a wellness check!”

A buzzer went off, harsh and ugly and loud. Two shrieks issued from the window.

Tim raised his tear-stained face to stare in confusion.

“Ah- O, come on-”

“My ears oh my god my ears are broken-”

The two strangers talked over each other for a few confusing moments. Big Bird still hadn’t said anything. Tim remembered just how big Big Bird actually was and he started crying a little. He didn’t want to meet Big Bird.

“Fi- Alright, alright. Bye!” The female voice had a distinctly harassed tone to it now. There was a scuffle against the metal covering the window. 

Then there was silence. It really did seem like they left. But maybe they were just waiting for him to make a noise. Tim waited and shuddered, scared they were going to come back. 

A soft beeping started up in the kitchen. 

‘...Did I leave something on?’ Tim wiped his face off with a wrist and rose. He gave the window one last look before he shuffled away.

When he entered the room, the kitchen’s water dispenser flashed at him. Then a voice came out of it. 

“Sorry about that, I didn’t realize they were heading over. I would have given you a heads-up.”

“How are you in my fridge?” Tim asked, indignant. He made a way-too-loud wet sound from his nose by accident. 

The lights in the room spun through a color change. “I am in everything,” the lady intoned.

That was when he placed the voice. “Thanks, Oracle,” Tim said.

“You’re welcome.” There was a pause. He knew that she was still there. Tim sniffled and wiped at his face again. It occurred to him too late that she might be able to see him. “Have you reached out to any magical specialists to fix this?” she asked casually, as if she hadn’t clearly been thinking over what she’d say.

Tim shook his head no and said nothing, testing to see if she could see him.

She breathed out a gust of static. “I think that the situation is affecting you,” Oracle said frankly. “Can I call Zatanna? We need you back on your cases and I can’t keep the birds out forever. They’re getting worried.”

…Tim had a suspicion that birds might actually not mean ‘birds’ in this context. 

He didn’t know anything, though. He was such a dummy. He didn’t know how to do his job and he was ruining Big Tim’s life, and he had made people so mad that they’d come and shut down his house. As he was thinking that, a soft whirring started up and the metal plating covering all his windows started to retract. 

“I think that help would be good,” Tim admitted defeat. He needed to go back to elementary school and become the Tim who could handle his adult life. He clearly wasn’t qualified for it. 

“Oh. Great.” Oracle paused again. Was he not supposed to say yes?  She recovered quickly. “I’ll get right on that. Have a good night. And go to bed!”

Tim stuck his tongue out as the connection ended. The lights went off on his fridge when Oracle went away.

the people demanded more baby muichiro / baby hashira au and who am i to deny them it (i will be taking a break though my wrists are TIRED)

most recent post | "umai!" "umai..." idea