Dylans Headcanons - Tumblr Posts
If Wayne was born today he would like TOOL
don’t ask why I just think he would
Wayne Headcanons
Ongoing incomplete list. Ideas and addons would be super cool. Some are a bit NSFW.
Very large dagger collection
Would love camo print if he was born during the human era
Obviously avid stoner and psychedelics user
Mid at cooking so usually just has easy shit (burritos, sandwiches, etc)
Most definitely mentally ill in one way or another
Does a lot of little hand gestures when talking so has to constantly catch himself and make sure he doesn’t do a battle gesture (has likely made that mistake multiple times and blew shit up accidentally)
Poor asf all the time
Obsessed with the traces of human media the future beings recovered (will always go out of his way to buy any cheap human relics and do research when possible) (dedusmuln is why, they got him hooked)
Pretty damn scared of humans but also thinks they were cute and small
About 7ft? Most height in legs
Used to decorate his horns as a teen-younger adult but got called gay so stopped
Self pleasure addiction (always knock)
Not a big fan of most alien alcohol but will sometimes go to the bar if he’s bored or with friends
Eats lots of raw vegetables
Wants a second cat but really couldn’t afford it
Was sent a request to join the waynehouse after defeating gibby (was most definitely old Wayne’s unspoken favorite), took up the offer because bills were getting tough
Was neglected as a larvae so really isn’t that booksmart and not the best at loving others
Loves dancing but will never show you
Has a habit of buying alien kink gear knowing he’d never get a chance to actually use it (AND HE FUCKING WONDERS WHY HES BROKE)
Not afraid to wear female wayne clothing
Probably used to do some kind of alien SH as a teen?? Still has a few marks
Wears nothing under the leather pants and coat (but I’d assume most of us already think that)
REEKS of cigarette scent
He has anorexia
god finally sure you’re getting Mac tonight headcanons
has a lot of pretty bad addictions
unlabeled sexuality just horny
look closely into his pupils and you can see stars
Sensitive to light and a lot of different textures
too many exes
Vodka at the casino is his guilty pleasure
Kinda hates being alive but wants to live forever
only reason the government isn’t cutting him apart and researching him is because of his social status
Wears drag every Friday night
honestly has no clue why he’s so good on the piano
can hardly stop himself from doing stupid little gestures or singing or cooing or making other precious little sounds when he’s happy (cannot hide stimming to save his own life)
himbo twink hybrid
will act like a big sexy crooner man who doesn’t fuck around but cries to ethereal sounding love songs when nobody’s there
house is big as fuck and he has no clue what to even do with it so he just lets his hookers live there
Rarely cooks for himself
high metabolism
uncomfortably sharp teeth
eyes can glow
paints nails and has too many piercings (never even wears any legit getting them because he can)
probably wearing glittery lingerie under his suit at any given moment
smells like probably cigarettes, takeout, and whiskey on a good day (smells fucking awful all the time mac please you need to take care of yourself)
if you can’t already tell he isn’t very stable when he isn’t having fun or distracted
thinks about biting the paparazzi all the damn time
hates being yelled at or getting into trouble
actually a total sweetheart when he isn’t absolutely miserable
……………Peter headcanons because I’m losing my mind
sharp ass teeth like uncomfortably sharp
WILL doxx you online/hj
Probably bisexual
Does not fuck around when it comes to grilling
his favorite holiday is Christmas awwww🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Sadomasochist
poor asf but like he lives in the middle of nowhere with his totally-not-boyfriend (obviously cameraman) so who cares
Really into polyamory
freaky relationship with Christianity
would bash my brains in with a hammer for writing this
I don’t care how smooth Fred Vogel is in the movies PETER IS A HAIRY ASS MAN
terrible relationship with his parents (which are dead)
obsessed with really long aimless drives
will wear a Hawaiian shirt while cutting your fingers off and will look fashionable doing so
NIPPLE RINGS!!!!!!!!!! (Crusty is obsessed with them) (Maggot called them gay one time so they fistfought)
fist victim was someone he hit with his car probably
probably owns a shitty pickup truck
nibbles to show affection (he’s never beating the dog man allegations)
HS dropout
was in the army but he left because they yelled at him and made him sad🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 (obv joking)
Has like 3 or 5 siblings, a total runt of the litter lmao
Shot to death in a parking lot by cops at night a month after crusty died
Was either buried in an unmarked grave (bc edgelords kept stealing his tombstone after all the news got out) or his ashes were left unclaimed in the morgue (since like any remaining family would probs hate him) and were spread somewhere
might add more idk
Headcanoning Charlie Manx as asexual to scare the hoes away