Eating Their Feelings - Tumblr Posts

@febuwhump prompt: suffering in silence

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His grandmother had taught him that a good solid meal could fix just about any problem. Or at least give you the fortitude and energy needed to go out and handle whatever needed handling. It was important to eat well - or at least regularly - to keep your mind and body and spirit sustained.

There was an ache inside his chest. He tried to fool himself into thinking it was lower, deep down in his belly. Hunger was surely responsible. And while they hadn't snagged a big bounty today, they had been given a ton of eggs from Ed's fa...

At any rate, they had a ton of eggs. Boiled up and painstakingly shelled by yours truly and then stacked - nearly a dozen per dish - into four serving plates and one dog dish.

He and Spike sat across from one another in the living room, no words spoken.

The silence was massive. It was suffocating. It was positively unnatural after what the two men had grown used to over the past few months.

There was no clacking of computer keys, no humming or bursts of song, no childish gleeful giggles. There was no hot dog breath panting against their ankles, no random scratching of doggy claws against a furry body, no whines that somehow communicated the intent of a conversation so well. There were no playing cards being shuffled, no woman's voice bemoaning her boredom or slyly teasing, no sound of heeled boots wandering down the hall as the owner returned from a senseless shopping spree.

Hell, he had no fucking clue where Faye had disappeared to. He hadn't seen her since sometime before the girls reprogrammed the ship to land here instead of going to Mars. The dog being gone made some sense... no doubt he'd trailed along after Ed when she departed. Ein had been stuck to her side since the hacker had first boarded the ship - literally, he'd even been glued to her at one point.

It's not like Ed had been kidnapped either. He had a pretty good idea of where she'd gone given who they'd met that day.

So the kid had a father. An actual living breathing blood-related family member. An absent-minded easily distractible work-focused father who probably wouldn't remember to instruct her to bathe once a week, who wouldn't bring her along on general wellness appointments so she could see a doctor too, who wouldn't keep her adequately fed...

His heart twisted painfully.

Or maybe it was his stomach. Maybe it was the bellyache of having finished his own pile of eggs and having ruthlessly and wordlessly joined Spike in devouring the plates that had been set out for the girls.

They hadn't even eaten anything today...

Gone. Not even a goodbye from Faye, though why they ought to have expected one...

When she bailed on them on Callisto there had been a note at least. But that was because she had been secretly hoping they'd track her down. She'd never admit as much, hell, she'd deny it if she bothered to acknowledge the accusation but they'd never had a conversation about it after he'd brought her back.

So this... this meant she didn't want to be found. Didn't want to be brought back like a wayward child.

Another pang as he polished off the second plate and then looked up to catch Spike's troubled eyes before they both glanced at Ein's untouched dish. A growling rumble echoed in the strained silence - was that his belly or Spike's? It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Silently, they both dove for the dish and scrambled to shove as many of the by-now repulsive eggs into their mouths.

It had to be done. He wanted no leftovers to sit in the fridge, mocking him that they had all chosen to leave. He wanted no evidence that he'd cared enough to try and provide for each of them.

Hell, he never wanted to lay eyes on an egg ever again.

Spike disappeared without saying a thing, leaving Jet in his apron in the living room all alone. Futilely trying to convince himself that the rawness of his battered heart was the food not sitting well in his stomach. Crossing his arms high on his chest, Jet closed his eyes and ground his teeth together, suffering in silence.

It would be easier to just go to sleep. No need then to be bothered by the lack of missing companions.

Instead, he opened his eyes again and forced himself to his feet. He made the climb to the bridge and stared hard at the words scrawled on the deck of the ship.

Swallowing past a lump in his throat, Jet turned away and moved to the navigation panel. Programmed the ship to launch and resume course towards Mars.

There was nothing good from Earth to bother with anymore.