Edited This While Eating Mini M&ms - Tumblr Posts

I humbly request to see hero and villain going to build a bear 🥸

(Anything for my bestest beta-reader o7)

Hero and Villain Go To Build-a-Bear

When Hero entered the mall, they could never have imagined Villain’s affinity for stuffed animals, and the chaos it would cause.

The first red flag should have been the look of glee in their eyes when they spotted the “Build-a-Bear Workshop” sign.

Before Hero could blink, about a dozen children were running out of the store, screaming at the villain’s spontaneous arrival. Frantic parents followed, and soon Villain had the store all to themselves.

By the time Hero entered, there was already a deflated animal in their hands. A worker reached for it to begin filling it with stuffing, only for Villain to snatch their hand back and gesture for her to leave. Hero shrugged helplessly.

Who was she to argue with the notorious villain taking over the store?

The employee stepped back as Villain commandeered the stuffing machine, retreating to behind the counter.

Villain completed and repeated the process by heart, filling the animals to their preferred firmness, kissing a small silk heart, and retying the stitching in the back.

After the sixth stuffing, Hero let out a long sigh.

“Are you done, yet?”

Hero certainly was.

“Of course I’m not done!”

Hero sat in the corner, head in their hands as Villain stuffed yet another bear.

This time, when Villain came to present their new child to the hero, there was something suspicious in their smile. As Hero lowered their gaze from their face to their hands, they quickly understood why.

“IS THAT ME?!”

Sure enough, Villain held the Hero-branded teddy in their arms, only its signature suit was swapped for none other than a striped prison jumpsuit.

Why Build-a-Bear even carried jail-themed attire for plushies, Hero had no idea.

Just when Hero thought that was the cherry on top, Villain squeezed the look-a-like bear right in the center.

A creepily accurate voice spoke the words, “I surrender.”

Hero blinked, equal parts impressed and creeped out.

Satisfied by their reaction, Villain turned their sights to the accessories section.

The criminal gasped as they laid eyes on a standing red sign. At the same time, Hero groaned. The sign said ‘buy-four-get-one-outfit-item-free’, and Villain certainly took that to heart.

A purple skirt, a doctor’s outfit, flip flops, red rain boots, two pairs of roller skates, a bucket hat, carrying bag, and so many shirts Hero lost count. The floor was littered in forgotten items, looking like a tornado had hit the store. Hero doubted Villain could see past the items stacked in their arms to even pick up anything they dropped.

Villain heaped their haul on to the countertop in front of the poor employee who definitely did not get paid enough to scan all of that.

The pile contained a pink frog, a green frog, a tie-dye frog (Villain insisted they were a family, and therefore could not be separated), a Darth Vader, a Marvel WandaVision pair, and some kind of fluffy cow with horns.

Oh, and of course the imprisoned Hero bear, complete with sparkly pink sneakers.

Finally, this ordeal was coming to an end.

“Excuse me,” Villain asked, “where do you keep the Villain bears?”

Oh no.

“The…Villain bears?” The confused employee parroted.

“Yes. My bears,” Villain confirmed with confidence.

“Right. Erm…,” she looked around in a show of contemplation, scanning the bins of plushie skins against the wall.

“We seem to be…out of those.”

She typed some probable nonsense into the screen in front of her before putting on a low-effort disappointed face.

“They were limited edition, I’m afraid. Sold out at every store.”

Hero was impressed by the lie. Maybe they needed to speak to the manager about a raise.

The news barely put a damper on the villain’s excitement, they were still vibrating with joy as they put in their email and printed out eight birth certificates.

Once the total rang up, Villain turned to face the hero expectantly.

“Oh no,” Hero stepped back in realization, “The deal was I accompany you peacefully to the mall and you don’t destroy the city. You said nothing about me footing the bill.”

The Villain simply smiled.

“Surely villainy pays enough for this,” Hero questioned, eyeing the amount on the screen with wide eyes.

Shouldn’t a villain just steal it all?

“You do like this city, right?” Villain questioned back, raising an eyebrow.

Ah, the cost of heroics: several hundred dollars.

I humbly request to see hero and villain going to build a bear 🥸

(Anything for my bestest beta-reader o7)

Hero and Villain Go To Build-a-Bear

When Hero entered the mall, they could never have imagined Villain’s affinity for stuffed animals, and the chaos it would cause.

The first red flag should have been the look of glee in their eyes when they spotted the “Build-a-Bear Workshop” sign.

Before Hero could blink, about a dozen children were running out of the store, screaming at the villain’s spontaneous arrival. Frantic parents followed, and soon Villain had the store all to themselves.

By the time Hero entered, there was already a deflated animal in their hands. A worker reached for it to begin filling it with stuffing, only for Villain to snatch their hand back and gesture for her to leave. Hero shrugged helplessly.

Who was she to argue with the notorious villain taking over the store?

The employee stepped back as Villain commandeered the stuffing machine, retreating to behind the counter.

Villain completed and repeated the process by heart, filling the animals to their preferred firmness, kissing a small silk heart, and retying the stitching in the back.

After the sixth stuffing, Hero let out a long sigh.

“Are you done, yet?”

Hero certainly was.

“Of course I’m not done!”

Hero sat in the corner, head in their hands as Villain stuffed yet another bear.

This time, when Villain came to present their new child to the hero, there was something suspicious in their smile. As Hero lowered their gaze from their face to their hands, they quickly understood why.

“IS THAT ME?!”

Sure enough, Villain held the Hero-branded teddy in their arms, only its signature suit was swapped for none other than a striped prison jumpsuit.

Why Build-a-Bear even carried jail-themed attire for plushies, Hero had no idea.

Just when Hero thought that was the cherry on top, Villain squeezed the look-a-like bear right in the center.

A creepily accurate voice spoke the words, “I surrender.”

Hero blinked, equal parts impressed and creeped out.

Satisfied by their reaction, Villain turned their sights to the accessories section.

The criminal gasped as they laid eyes on a standing red sign. At the same time, Hero groaned. The sign said ‘buy-four-get-one-outfit-item-free’, and Villain certainly took that to heart.

A purple skirt, a doctor’s outfit, flip flops, red rain boots, two pairs of roller skates, a bucket hat, carrying bag, and so many shirts Hero lost count. The floor was littered in forgotten items, looking like a tornado had hit the store. Hero doubted Villain could see past the items stacked in their arms to even pick up anything they dropped.

Villain heaped their haul on to the countertop in front of the poor employee who definitely did not get paid enough to scan all of that.

The pile contained a pink frog, a green frog, a tie-dye frog (Villain insisted they were a family, and therefore could not be separated), a Darth Vader, a Marvel WandaVision pair, and some kind of fluffy cow with horns.

Oh, and of course the imprisoned Hero bear, complete with sparkly pink sneakers.

Finally, this ordeal was coming to an end.

“Excuse me,” Villain asked, “where do you keep the Villain bears?”

Oh no.

“The…Villain bears?” The confused employee parroted.

“Yes. My bears,” Villain confirmed with confidence.

“Right. Erm…,” she looked around in a show of contemplation, scanning the bins of plushie skins against the wall.

“We seem to be…out of those.”

She typed some probable nonsense into the screen in front of her before putting on a low-effort disappointed face.

“They were limited edition, I’m afraid. Sold out at every store.”

Hero was impressed by the lie. Maybe they needed to speak to the manager about a raise.

The news barely put a damper on the villain’s excitement, they were still vibrating with joy as they put in their email and printed out eight birth certificates.

Once the total rang up, Villain turned to face the hero expectantly.

“Oh no,” Hero stepped back in realization, “The deal was I accompany you peacefully to the mall and you don’t destroy the city. You said nothing about me footing the bill.”

The Villain simply smiled.

“Surely villainy pays enough for this,” Hero questioned, eyeing the amount on the screen with wide eyes.

Shouldn’t a villain just steal it all?

“You do like this city, right?” Villain questioned back, raising an eyebrow.

Ah, the cost of heroics: several hundred dollars.