Eurovision Angst - Tumblr Posts

PAIRING. bojan cvjetićanin x gender neutral!reader

SUMMARY. y/n is the sibling to kris guštin so everyone would assume that they get along with their brother’s bandmates—but that was wrong. y/n and bojan never really liked each other but it was just a guise to hide their true romantic feelings towards each other. when no one else is available to work on a song, bojan seeks out the help of y/n who reluctantly agrees, but it proves to be the best decision.

WORD COUNT. 1,724

AN ANNOYED Y/N rolled their eyes at the brunette standing in front of them. Bojan had just asked them to help him finish writing this new song called ‘Umazane Misli’ for Joker Out since their brother Kris wasn’t in Slovenia and the others were busy. Of course, the one time everyone’s busy is the one time he would need help with a song. They wanted to glare at him but refrained.

“Why can’t you do it yourself?” Their voice was pretty cold and slightly venomous.

The two didn’t really like one another and it all started a couple years back. Y/N Guštin didn’t understand why their brother was friends and in a band with Bojan, but they never really said much about it to him specifically. They thought that the singer was nothing but a flirt who didn’t take much of anything seriously. They couldn’t stand him, at least that’s what they convinced themself.

The brunette prevented himself from also rolling his eyes, not in the mood to fight with them. “Trust me, I don’t like this either, but it’s not going to get done if I don’t have help. It was supposed to be finished yesterday but everyone is busy. I’ll leave you alone after it is complete.”

“Fine,” they hesitantly agreed.

“Thank you. Come by the studio in an hour. I have a couple of things to do but I’ll meet you there.” With that, Bojan left, which annoyed them even more.

Y/N closed the door and walked back to their room, jumping onto their bed. “Kris owes me,” they muttered to themself before sighing.

If anyone asked them why they were enemies with their brother’s band mate, they would just glare at nothing in particular. They never had a specific answer other than “he’s annoying to me” or “I just don’t.” However, there really was a genuine reason; he had dated one of their ex friends during high school. Yes, that’s the big thing that they never wanted to tell people because they might get the wrong idea.

They could imagine someone telling them that they were just jealous, which they would immediately deny, but deep down they had to know that there was some truth to it…right? Well, no. Y/N was too stubborn to give into that thought and they were hellbent on making it known that they ‘didn’t care’ about the singer.

Their brother was always teasing them about it since he was obviously aware of what went on and the things that they didn’t want to tell people. The siblings had gotten into plenty of arguments over this, mainly one sided ones.

They were certain that they didn’t like Bojan.

The time passed by fairly quickly and they kept their promise, meeting the singer at the studio. They were starting to regret their choice but didn’t want Kris coming back and trying to throw a fit because they were being ‘too childish’ in his eyes. If a song needed done, they supposed they could tough it out and help.

Y/N was quite the skilled songwriter and there were times where Bojan thought that they were too good. He thought that they were someone who liked to brag about everything since he had overheard them talking about their accomplishments to different people before, but really they were just proud of themself. He didn’t seem to catch that part though.

Both of them were stubborn and that could not be clearer.

“You actually came,” Bojan acknowledged their presence.

“Didn’t I say I would?” Y/N countered with an eyebrow raised. They wanted to say something not so nice but didn’t allow themself to.

Bojan ignored their words and changed the subject. “I got everything set up. I didn’t want to inconvenience you and have you here longer, thought you might have something better to do.”

The Guštin stepped closer to him and crossed their arms over their chest, staring him down because of his comments. “You know, you don’t have to be such an ass all the time!”

“I know you’re not telling me that,” he scoffed.

If looks could kill, both of them would be six feet under by now. Both were thinking it was a bad idea to be in the same room for longer than a second but Y/N wanted to keep their promise, no matter how annoyed they would get.

Bojan continued, “You think you’re so perfect. You walk around and talk about all the things your good at and think you’re better. Trust me, I’d much rather have Kris here.”

Y/N laughed but they couldn’t deny how his words hurt them. “You’re such a hypocrite! When have I ever said or acted like I’m better than anyone? Hmm? You think you know what I’m about but you don’t, you have no idea. What about you though? You can’t take anything seriously and last time I checked, Irena broke up with you because you’re annoying.”

It was low, very low, but they couldn’t take it back and after what he said about them, they weren’t sure that they wanted to. Their features softened slightly though when they noticed Bojan’s face drop, his eyes moving away from their gaze. That’s when they began to regret everything.

Y/N didn’t recognize the feelings that started to blossom in their chest; it was this feeling that they had felt before but pushed away each time. They felt almost sad when Bojan seemed sad, even though they never realized until now.

“Bojan—,” they spoke before her brain could process.

“No, you’re right. Irena did break up with me but not for that reason. She kissed Kris at a party and he told me about it, so I had ended up confronting her about it. She said that she was drunk and didn’t mean it but at the same time, I could tell she was lying. She finally told me the truth—she only went out with me to make someone jealous.”

Y/N wanted to resist their feelings but their heart broke at his words, not used to trying to understand him. “I can’t believe she did that? Do you know who she tried to make jealous?”

They were genuinely curious since they were unable to think of anyone specifically.

He shook his head, still refusing to look at the Guštin. “No, and I never asked. But I had other people tell me it was you. I never really wanted to believe it. She went on and started telling people that I annoyed her and made up more lies about me, so the reason you hate me so much is based on lies.”

The male finally glanced back up at them before going to sit down in a nearby chair. He heard them sigh but didn’t think much of it since he was sure they wouldn’t believe him. However, their next words shocked him more than he would’ve expected.

“I don’t hate you. I was sure that you hated me and honestly, I think everyone was right, as much as I don’t want to admit it.” They paused and thought about if they wanted to continue or not, but they were tired of the constant fighting and drama. The two were adults who should have been able to talk about things sooner.

“I had a crush on you in high school and Irena knew about it. Her and I were friends at first but she was very competitive and would always put me down. It was subtle at first but then she didn’t hide it.” Y/N went to sit down in the chair beside Bojan.

“I think all this time, I’ve had feelings for you and when the two of you dated, I was jealous. That and the fact that she ruined my self esteem, it felt really bad. So, I was convinced that acting like I hate you would be better than having my heart broken more. Even after she broke up with you, I did not understand how she got to have what I wanted.”

Bojan’s attention was fully on Y/N and he took in what they were saying, took in how genuine they were being. He had never seen them like this and honestly, he hated seeing it. He could understand since he did the same thing. Hearing that they had a crush on him almost made him smile but he couldn’t find it in himself after hearing what his ex had done to the Guštin.

“I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t help but feel apologetic.

“I finally found my confidence again and actually felt proud of myself. Whenever I do well with something that I didn’t think I would, I tell my family and friends because I feel proud. I don’t think that I’m better than anyone.”

They took a deep breath and almost froze when they felt one of his hands take one of theirs into his, holding it. They had found themself imagining what it would be like to hold his hand in the past but didn’t think it would ever happen.

It was his turn to say something, the silence filling the studio. “I don’t think that of you, I just needed any reason to not fall in love with you even more. You are the smartest person I know and you write such good songs. I think I do sometimes get jealous because it’s so natural to you, but I love that about you.”

“You’re in love with me?” Y/N asked, their tone full of shock and slight confusion.

“Yes,” Bojan confirmed.

“I love you too.” It didn’t take long for them to tell him.

Bojan finally smiled and it caused the H/C haired being to do so as well. He gently placed a hand on their left cheek before he started leaning in closer to them. They met him halfway and their lips met; the kiss was soft and full of love. It was something they both wanted to do for the longest time but their own stubbornness never allowed them to.

Y/N laughed once they broke apart and Bojan kissed their forehead. The two could have stayed like this forever but they soon started to remember the reason why they were in the studio in the first place.

They leaned back in their chair, perfectly content. “I guess we should finish writing that song now.”

PAIRING. ethan torchio x trans!male!reader

SUMMARY. being transgender with dysphoria was painful for y/n but ethan was always there to make it a little bit better.

WORD COUNT. 913

CRYING FILLED THE bathroom’s silence as Y/N L/N stared at himself in the mirror. This is something that had gone on for the past couple of minutes; he was feeling insecure, more than that honestly. He was unable to pinpoint what triggered these feelings this time but all he knew was that it sucked. He hated getting this way so often but it really wasn’t something that he could control.

Being a transgender male was difficult for a plethora of reasons and the dysphoria did not help matters. He had only recently been starting the process of transitioning. He had started Testosterone, which was exciting to him, but he hated that he had to do it in the first place.

Why was he born in such a feminine body? It was a question that he asked himself too often. There wasn’t many parts of his body that he actually didn’t mind and he didn’t like saying ‘my body’ because he didn’t feel like that’s what it was. Why would he?

The days when he just stood in front of a mirror and cried were not good for his mental health but sometimes he didn’t see how things could get worse. He really did try but the bad days just brought him down so much.

However, he felt lucky that he had such a lovely support system in his boyfriend and their friends. Ethan Torchio had been such an angel to Y/N, even before he came out to anyone. The Italian was so respectful and genuine. He was always ready to share his clothes with his boyfriend which Y/N greatly appreciated.

He was the one who kept Y/N going during these difficult times. The male didn’t know what he would do without Ethan and he didn’t want to think about it since it gave him anxiety.

Speaking of, the brunette had just gotten back home from recording at the studio with the band, which his boyfriend hadn’t realized. The sound of the H/C haired boy’s cries could be heard from their bedroom and it broke Ethan’s heart. He wished that he could take every ounce of pain away but he sadly couldn’t. However, that didn’t mean that he never tried.

The Torchio soon made his way into the bathroom and frowned at the sight of his lover. He didn’t completely understand what Y/N felt but he would always try to and he would always listen.

“Amore mio, what’s wrong?” The words were soft and gentle, not wanting to startle the other male, even though he was in plain sight.

The L/N sniffled. “Everything about me is just wrong! My face is too feminine, my hips are too wide, I’m not tall enough. I will never be able to pass as a guy. It freaking hurts.”

Ethan walked closer to his boyfriend, his body towering over Y/N’s slightly. “Can I touch you?”

He didn’t want to make his lover anymore uncomfortable but he wanted to calm him down, show him love, make sure that he was not alone no matter how much it felt like it sometimes. Once he saw the male nod his head, he gently wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, Y/N’s back to his chest.

“I know I don’t understand what you are going through but it hurts me to see you like this. I hate how you constantly put yourself down. Things will get better and I hope that your dysphoria becomes less severe as time goes on and as the Testosterone starts doing its thing.”

“I’m here for you every step of the way. I know you have anxiety when it comes to surgery and being put under anesthesia but if you decide you need top surgery or anything else, I’ll support you. You’re not in this alone.” Ethan kissed the top of his lover’s head.

He continued what was now becoming a speech, unable to stop himself. “I want you to also remember that it’s okay to take your time. You don’t have to come out to anyone else if you’re not ready and you don’t have to make decisions about surgeries and stuff if you don’t feel comfortable.”

His comment about coming out was referring to Y/N’s family who weren’t all that supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. It was something that also brought Y/N down but he tried not to care so much, although it was hard since it was his family; his parents, his grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins.

Ethan then placed his head onto his lover’s right shoulder. “When I look into the mirror at you, I see nothing but handsome boyfriend who I love with my whole being. You are the most important thing to me and I will never let you forget it.”

Y/N turned around in Ethan’s arms to look at him. He reached a hand up to wipe his tears, feeling a little better because of his boyfriend’s kindness. “Thank you,” he was quick enough to say before his brain started thinking of just how grateful he was for his relationship.

“Of course, like I said, I’m always here for you.” His reassurance made Y/N feel better. He always loved knowing that he had someone who genuinely cared and wanted the best for him.

Ethan didn’t take long to add, “Now, do you want to go watch ‘Grease’ and cuddle? I think that will take your mind off of things and stop you from spiraling.”

“I’d love that,” Y/N L/N spoke softly.

AUTHOR’S NOTE! if you are someone who does experience dysphoria, i’m so sorry. you are strong and beautiful! i have personally gone through it as well but not to a severe level; but i’ve still cried over it and felt terrible, so i hope this can give at least one person some sort of comfort. i love you all, whoever is reading this.

PAIRING. jere pöyhönen x gender neutral!reader

SUMMARY. during the grand final, jere is left sad and frustrated by the results, but he thankfully has his partner of two years by his side to cheer him up.

WORD COUNT. 965

THE RESULTS OF the Eurovision Grand Final wasn’t what most people in the Green Room had expected, Finland coming second rather than winning. Y/N L/N couldn’t help but to feel their heart break when they turned their head to see how their boyfriend was feeling after hearing the information. There was a sadness in Jere’s eyes that they could see, which they didn’t want to. Neither liked to see the other upset or in pain.

They sighed and laced their fingers together as a way to give him some comfort. They could tell that he needed it and wanted to help him in any way possible. He had worked so hard for months and he was hopeful that he’d win since there was so many people cheering him on. For a split second, it felt like that was for nothing.

The younger of the two rubbed their thumb over his knuckles, earning a small squeeze of their hand. The Finn ran his free hand through his hair as he attempted to push down the frustrated feelings blooming in his chest. It was so close yet so far.

Luke had come over to give Jere a hug, seeing that he was saddened by the end result. Y/N thanked him softly before he returned to his spot in the Green Room. Their attention then turned back to their lover, not really listening to Lorine’s performance, instead choosing to comfort the taller male. They did like ‘Tattoo’ but they were rooting for the man they loved more than anything.

Jere was first backstage once everything was over and he disappeared into one of the bathrooms, leaving his partner to wonder where he was at. However, they were aware of his patterns and how his brain worked, so they decided to search for him in the place where they thought he’d be.

Stood in front of the same bathroom, they knocked on the door gently. “My love, please let me in.”

They didn’t care how it looked, only caring about how Jere was doing. They heard some shuffling close to the door which opened up a few seconds later. They were met with Jere’s tear stained face and their eyes softened instantly, their heart seemingly breaking even more. They didn’t see how it couldn’t honestly.

They slipped into the bathroom and was sure to close the door behind them, locking it. Fresh tears fell from the man’s eyes. Y/N hadn’t seen him this sad in such a long time and all they wanted was to make him feel better. He was their cute boyfriend who was the embodiment of a puppy; he was always smiling and laughing and making them feel so much happier. Seeing him crying almost felt wrong.

He was always there for them when they were down so they needed to return the favor. The H/C haired being reached their hand up to wipe away some of his tears, wrapping their other arm slightly around his waist. By now, he was shirtless, having taken off the green jacket that he performed in.

“Did I work so hard for nothing?” His voice was full of emotion, genuinely thinking that question.

Y/N shook their head before responding to the question that they thought was absurd. “No, absolutely not. I know that you are disappointed, as am I, but you did everything right. Your hard work paid off! Even though you didn’t win Eurovision, you won the hearts of so many people.”

Jere went to argue but they didn’t let him, needing to get their feelings out in the open first. They wanted him to think about all that had happened, all the friends he had made. It wasn’t all for nothing and deep down, the dark haired male understood that.

“Jere, I’m so proud of you, as are the friends we’ve made here. I didn’t have to feel the stress of competing and I can’t even imagine how it’s felt, but you always inspire me.” It was true, their boyfriend was their inspiration for quite literally everything. They were amazed by him and how kind he was, how hardworking he was.

He sniffled and calmed himself down. He was quite a sensitive person and sometimes he just had to allow himself to feel anything he needed to, Y/N was aware of this, but they still were there for him no matter what.

“Thanks, angel. I just needed to let out some of these emotions. I feel like I’m starting to be emotionally drained but I am grateful for you being here with me, I love you more than you know.” The Pöyhönen did not know what he would do without them.

The two had been dating for two years now but they still had him wrapped around their finger. They were the best and he wholeheartedly believed that they were the only person for him.

“Of course. You know I’m always here for you. I love you too, bub.” They took their right hand and touched Jere’s chest, close to where his tattoo was. The touch was given to further calm him and ground him.

“I’m okay,” he stated.

They only let him go wash his face once they were sure. Once he was done, the two were ready to join everyone again. Y/N was sure that they were all wondering where the two went.

“You ready to see everyone?” Their question was genuine since they didn’t want him to do anything he was uncomfortable with.

When he nodded, the L/N opened the door and the two walked out, wandering off to find their friends. Jere grabbed something to drink whilst Y/N talked with Alika. Everyone spent the rest of their time at the venue, cheering up the Finn further and messing around, wanting to cherish these moments.