Excelt It's Being Explained By A Hypocrite 7 Years Younger Than Him - Tumblr Posts

"I would say that I'm your new legal guardian, but you're older than me and I can't exactly adopt a fully grown adult." The kid got comfortable on the couch, dropping his backpack on the ground and placing a dark blue binder on the coffee table. "I could say that you're my new legal guardian, but then we run into a similar problem." He paused. Dick closed the door but did not move closer to the kid. "Could you adopt me? No matter."

Dick shook his head a bit. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm Danny!" the kid smiled, holding his hand out for a handshake, "Nice to meet you!"

He didn't take it. "Likewise, I guess."

"What, no name?"

"I'm optimistic, not an idiot."

Danny, apparently, just shrugged and opened the binder to the first page, a title page, apparently. In big, bold, blue glitter pen letters, it said, "How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have". Under that, in smaller, black lettering, it said, "By Danny Phantom".

"How did you find this place?" Dick asked.

"Doesn't matter."

"Why do you think I have a day job and a night job?"

"I'm a realist, not an idiot."

This was supposed to be Dick's day off. He had gone to this safe house because it was the only one he'd managed to keep hidden from B. Not Alfred, though. He was going to spend the day relaxing. Apparently, some higher power - that he doesn't actually have faith in, despite knowing there are several - decided he doesn't get to relax. Why would he? He's only running on empty and spite.

"First thing's first," Danny, oblivious to Dick's inner turmoil, turned the page to reveal a table of contents that was written in small black lettering and numbers. Were the pages numbered? How many pages were there? It looked pretty thick. "Why did you do what you do? Why go out at night to fight crime when that's, I assume, what your day job is for? Why hurt yourself to help people?"

Oh, god. Dick needed to sit down.

Storyboard Part 2

Danny pulls an uno reverse card

ok just hear me out.

Danny decided 'you know what this man needs adult supervision' Danny had just moved to Bludhaven as small business weren't questioned even it was owned by a teenager.

So Danny opened up a very cheap mechanic store, prices were to die for and people were thankful he didn't ask questions as long as they did the same for him.

Que one very malnourished and exhausted cop coming in for a check up on their cop car. So Danny took one look at that man and thought he needed someone to help him.

Dick is so confused why plates of food keep appearing everywhere around him, with little post it notes saying he should sleep more and drink water. At first dick thought it was Alfred who finally gained teleportation powers, but one call later confirmed that his original theory was wrong.

He took the nest meal to analyze and found that it was perfectly healthy for consumption. Alfred even said that he thought the person behind it all just wanted Dick to have a more healthy life style.

Dick tried to piece together who could possibly be doing that, especially going into his house undetected. Then one day it was his one day off and the doorbell rung thinking it was one of his brothers because go the short black hair and overall build, he opened the door not to any of his brothers, but a teen nonetheless.

'good at least your taking care of yourself and actually eating proper foods, now I'm here to discuss your extracurriculars and how to time manage them appropriately without running yourself to the ground' the teen pushed past Dick who had his jaw dropped "I've brought my own board with an ideal itinerary that I expect you to follow. Any questions"

"Yeah... just one who that fuck are you kid"

How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have

It had been a long few minutes since he'd opened the door and there were a lot of questions running through Dick's head. Most pressing of which was how this kid seems to have information he should not have.

"How did you..?" he asked, but the words wouldn't leave completely. There's so much he wants to know, so much he wants to ask.

"How do I what?" Danny tilted his head like the child he seems to be is.

"How do you know?" Dick knows he sounds weak. There's no hiding that, but there are a lot of implications in what the kid has said so far and none of it is painting a very happy picture for him.

"Oh!" Danny had the audacity to smile, "You want to know how I know you moonlight as a vigilante!" And of course he knows. Dick knows he knows, but he'd held a little bit of hope that the child Danny was mistaken. Danny's smile softened a bit as he explained, "Your hair and voice match up in both jobs almost perfectly. Not to mention your build and how you hold yourself. There's also the matter of your overall vibes, but that's not something living beings can normally pick up on." Excuse him? "Well, not living humans, at least, so no worries on that end!"

"Excuse me?" Dick was fairly sure his heart just stopped beating for a moment there.

"Anyway, I was a hero back home for a while, too. I know what it's like to have to walk the tightrope between maintaining a civilian cover and a hero persona. I know how it feels to have to keep secrets from everyone because anyone who knows will be in danger." he rambled, Though, admittedly, our circumstances are quite different. I was working as a hero all hours of the day as well as going to school. You only have to worry about properly balancing between day and night jobs. Either way, me having more to bounce between just makes me al the more qualified to help you!"

Oh. Oh he did not like that. He didn't like a single thing that just came out of the kid's mouth. Because that's what he is, a kid. "Are you...Are you alright?"

"Not in the slightest," Danny admitted with an even smaller smile. Then, it brightened, not quite to a grin, but to something similar, "But I'm here to make sure you are."

He gets points for being honest, but Dick felt his heart shatter. He knew for a fact that he'd never worked with this kid before. He also knew that the Justice League didn't know about him. If they did, he would've been picked up and dropped with either the Young Justice team or the Titans.

Dick wasn't going to ask why he became a hero because that's not his place. It's more of a 'third mission with the team' kind of questions, anyway. Most of the heroes didn't have many options when they took up the mantle. Asking what Danny can do is a more appropriate question, but he wasn't going to ask that, either.

"Now that that's out of the way," Danny turned a few pages from the table of contents to another one that was topped with 'Why Sleep Scheduling Is Important' in the blue glitter pen that Dick was starting to suspect he favored. "You're not getting enough sleep. Following you around - no one's been able to find me for a while, so don't worry about that - for the last two weeks has given me some really worrisome information on you."

Dick was worrying. He was worrying a lot and even more questions were coming to the forefront of his mind.

"Your dayjob is as an officer on the Bludhaven Police Force, or BPD for short." He was looking over the page he'd turned to very aptly and Dick realized that the kid had notes written on him. "The average hours per week for police across the country is forty hours. Gotham and Bludhaven are the exceptions. As a member of the BPD, you work a solid two days and two hours. Six nights a week, you work as Nightwing from eight in the evening to three in the morning. The last day, you take off, which is good. No deserable pattern, so good on you for that. Regardless, that's seven hour nights and ten hour days, with one day off and one day on call as an officer. Seven hours are now left in your day for personal time, eating, and sleeping. That's not a healthy way to live."

Oh, god, the kid had honest to god notes on him! What the hell!

Danny didn't even skip a beat as he pulled Dick's attention back to him and his binder. "I've drawn up a schedule for you to follow." The back of the page had a meticulously drawn schedule, complete with blocks of time to eat, sleep, work both jobs, travel, personal time, and still have a bit extra left over. It was titled 'Ideal End Result' in green marker. "Drastic changes right away will only affect you negatively, so we're starting off smaller." The next page over had another schedule titled 'Where To Begin'. "I've only pulled one hour from your Nightwing hours because I know important that time is to you and the city. I am, however, going to be having you submit an appeal to your boss to cut back your hours from fifty a week to forty a week. That way, you'll only be working eight hours a day and not ten. You'll still be on call for one day, and you'll have that last day off. Altogether, you'll be going be going from working seventeen hours a day to fourteen hours a day. Nine in the morning to five in the afternoon, and eight in the evening to two in the morning. Not including breaks at work or travel time. It opens up a few more hours for you to sleep!"

"You really think the chief is going to pull back my hours?" Dick raised an eyebrow in question.

"He will if he knows what's good for him."

"You know I can arrest you for that threat, right?"

"Yeah, but you won't." And, damn it, he's right.

Although, there was now another thing he had to know. "How to you plan on enforcing this schedule of yours?"

Danny seemed to have been waiting for this. He got a gleam in his eye as he pulled a black folder from his bag, not breaking eye contact with Dick. He placed it on the table and pushed it across. "Congratulations, it's a boy."

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