FINALLY FUCK - Tumblr Posts
[ GAZE ] levi & yon
[ GAZE ] : sender watches receiver from across a crowded room.
taking a liking to the compelling aura of nightlife in seoul, the pair had made it regular to lose themselves as a duo within the neon swaying crowds of euphoric individuals much like themselves, seeking that undeniable buzz that showed through sweaty palms, lustful touches from a stranger and strains that drowned out any fucked up thoughts they had. even if it was just for a moment.
the separation happened a little after the two had decided to room together : well, levi getting kicked out of his adobe and deciding with little to no discussion he would be “crashing” on her sofa. which, as hard as the two clawed their way into standing firm with that decision - they’d both end up tangled together in her sheets. yon had grown fond of levi, so much so “comfort boy” became a common love tag she’d bandage him with, a rare feat when it comes to the dames. perfect sounding trope if the ugly was shadowed and locked away and in real life, it isn’t.
they’re almost yelling. yon especially. little frustrations building up. he’s in HER space. he’s a huge part of HER life. she cares. she can’t do that? can she? is this a panic attack? his voice feels distant, almost inaudible. she’s drowning in that muffled intensity, allowing it to wash over her as hands sat on both sides of her head, her nails clawing in at her ebony strands. she’d crossed the line, but so had he. yon was aware, maybe levi wasn’t? maybe that’s why he kept trying. trying to get through to her. deep down, part of her wanted to fix this. but it wasn’t enough to speak over the nagging doubt that she’d been hurt. again. the looming guilt that swallowed her ; she’d allowed this to happen. again.
this would be the last time. the last time she’d let her guard down around anybody. “get out, levi.” her gaze raises, her normal nonchalant tone was intimidating enough, but the way she spat this was almost venomous, “leave. now.”
it’d been a month. maybe more. she’d dressed in black, finding her footing in that enigmatic crowd of people i’d mentioned earlier. she’s angry. yon is furious. the dames’ is allowing herself to feel this, wallow in it- even. the one thing she isn’t allowing herself to process, is the sadness. the emptiness without him. without her comfort boy.
as her body gently sways to the rhythm, colliding with those around her but no bother ; her optics flutter shut as she loses herself to the music. a hand finds her side, a small smirk creeps onto her face, lifting flushed cheeks as she dances with the stranger for a moment. her eyes remain closed, that smirk dances and curves into a smile as her mind wonders ; imagining the one who stood beside her to be levi- once realisation sets in of what she's doing her eyes open, widening as she pushes off the individual who was pretty cool about the whole thing. there was a dismissive apology from yonnie before she spins to the right, preparing to leave. this wasn’t what she wanted. she knows what she wants. she needs to go and get it.
thats why she almost drops to her knees as she makes eye contact with the familiar male from across the floor, he’s sat at a booth, staring directly in her direction, his expression was hard to read. it’s almost like... he knew. she felt weak, embarrassed and uncertain of what to do in this situation. he didn’t move. normally he would make the first move - but she knows in this situation she should. so, reluctantly and teary eyed, yon approaches.
“i’m sorry.”