Fistsbled - Tumblr Posts
fistsbled·.
the day of training should have rendered the jinchuriki exhausted , and he knew matatabi would scold him soon . or at least that’s what he expected . gorgeous moon loomed over them , lee should be asleep by now . or at least wrapped up in hot , vigorous training !! but the leaf’s youth wasn’t doing anything productive right now . look at him , sitting on the kazekage’s office roof , doing nothing but watch the starry sky together with gaara . the bitter desert’s cold didn’t bother him , for the nekomata’s chakra flowing through his veins was scorching . no , it wasn’t because it was cold that rock lee snuggled closer . impossibly closer .
❛ i love you . ❜ it occured to lee he hasn’t said these precious three words to gaara in a while . a few hours a jinchuriki’s life was loveless . lee was lucky he had gai - sensei by his side ; that matatabi was a benevolent wraith . he wanted to be the one giving gaara love , he wanted gaara to know it was him , too . a fellow jinchuuriki ; a former enemy . not just a faceless konoha shinobi . sometimes he wondered if this was selfish . though FORTUNATELY matatabi always remained quiet whenever he pondered over this . bandaged hand carefully took gaara’s . ❛ i love you to the moon and back ten times . ❜
it’s been a while since gaara had gotten the chance to sit out && watch the night sky . he’s usually far too busy , even late at night . the stars are captivating , && the warmth of lee beside him made gaara so , so very comfortable . his heart feels full —— he would describe it as painful if he didn’t know just how much he needed it .
as lee leans closer , taking gaara’s hand in his , the redhead takes a moment to soak in every word that’s spoken to him . they say that saying it all the time lessens its intensity , but gaara finds it more comforting each time . [ look what you’ve done , you tricked him into loving you . ]
pounding voice goes ignored , but not without the need to pause . he’s already come to terms that he will never outrun the guilt he feels , but knowing that he is forgiven helps him .
he is forgiven . he is loved .
the kazekage shifts , moving to rest his head against lee’s . it’s okay . there’s no need to be afraid . say it back .
❝ i … love you too , ❞ gaara speaks slowly , low voice finally breaking the comfortable silence , ❝ thank you . ❞
&& so , he smiles .
@fistsbled 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 . [ kiss ] for gaara bc GAAAAAAY WORD PROMPTS // no longer accepting . [ kiss ] for your muse to come up to mine and kiss them without warning
this happens every time gaara visits konoha ever since they had entered their relationship . the moment he steps foot in the village , lee is quick to rush up to him && greet him . usually it’s an overexcited hug [ which usually makes gaara’s old man bones pop like glowsticks ] but this time , to gaara’s delight , he’s being greeted by a flurry of small kisses . it makes sense , they had both been too busy to visit each other for a while , but gaara’s never particularly expecting affection at any point in time . [ he probably should by now , with lee at least . ]
gaara’s usually uninterested expression lights up , quiet chuckles fill the air as the two are definitely making a scene . stop being sappy already !! we’re here for business , dipshit !!
❝ i missed you too , dear . ❞
HEY !! STOP IGNORING ME !!
@fistsbled 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 . bandaged hand strokes red hair, a single flaming tail wrapped around their bodies to provide comfort where the cold night offered none. and lee lets gaara lean again his strong body. how long were these tears kept to fester inside aching heart, the leaf's jinchuriki felt humbled at the idea that gaara showed lee his feelings. the nekomata remained quiet within weak seal. lee himself only said two things himself over and over again . ❛ it's okay. ❜
it was a slow creep . they were only talking , telling each other about their days . simple , easy for gaara to process —— lee is surprisingly patient , keeping the more extravagant things rare while the redhead adjusts to re-learning his own emotions . though , gaara watches lee’s face , his smile — [ what a beautiful smile , ] — && wonders to himself if he deserves to be here . by all means , lee should hate him . DESPISE him . hell , gaara probably should’ve been killed after the chuunin exams fiasco . he could have been thinking something , but his brain also just felt so fuzzy . he was thinking in abstract feelings that all convey that he’s somehow not worth this effort . this kindness . it’s unconditional && that terrifies him .
lithe hands raise as he turns his body from the way they had been sitting , pulling lee close && pressing his face into his shoulder . his hold is tight , && it takes a good few moments for him to speak ,
❝ thank you —— i’m so sorry — thank you , ❞ it’s not obvious at first , but his voice is breaking . as he’s held , comforted , warmed … it becomes harder to keep himself grounded . this would be so much easier if he were hated , it would rid him of the guilt . YA RUINED HIS LIFE , BOY , IF YA ASK ME , I DON’T THINK YOU FEEL GUILTY ENOUGH ! … right . grip tightens , he feels like he can’t breathe . LEAVING HIM ALIVE WAS MORE CRUEL THAN KILLING HIM .
❝ i’m sorry , i’m sorry , i —— i’m sorry — ❞ DON'T FUCKING CRY NOW , DO YOU THINK YOU DESERVE PITY ? great , he can’t tell what’s his own voice or not anymore . though he hates this feeling , this vulnerability , this ache , it was inevitable . it’s better to address those feelings now , than let them grow into a dangerous storm .
gaara had always feared crying , he’d always thought that if he started , there’s no way it would end . && while he’s quieted down after a moment , he’s not going to move for a while , && certainly not show his face for a while . not until the tears truly stop , && not until his face is no longer red && puffy . ashamed of being seen as weak , as long as lee doesn’t see his face like this , he can pretend it didn’t happen later . if i can’t see you , you can’t see me , && all that .
@fistsbled 𝚂𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙰𝚈𝙴𝚁 . [ lift ] for gaara bc STRONK BOYFRIEND WORD PROMPTS // no longer accepting . [ lift ] for your muse to give mine a hand stepping up or over something etc. my blog my rules.
gaara stands firm , he knows lee is coming , && he informed kankuro that he’d be taking a few hours off . the sound of rapid footsteps … here he comes …
THERE THEY GO !! ON A DATE !!
fistsbled.
another hot , VIGOROUS training session neared it’s end . lee made sure to push mitsuki over the edge , just because he was already a prodigy didn’t mean he could not be better , IMPROVE . and rock lee was known for making his students sweat . for a moment dark eyes just watched , bandaged hand reached up to touch yellow scarf wrapped around his neck . something which long became a habbit . to caress his most valuable possession and through onyx gaze , another pair of benevolent eyes watched the child closely . aren’t you too hard on the little one ?? in thought , lee answered the great nekomata , his dear partner . i know he can take it and confident smile , so much like his master’s , spread across strong features . ❛ not bad , not bad ! i am proud of you . ❜
mitsuki’s stamina is ridiculously high , nigh inhuman , yet at the end of the day he’d found pale blue hair stuck uncomfortably to his forehead from his sweat —— he didn’t even know he COULD sweat , actually . it frustrated him that he was barely able to land a few weak hits ; && it frustrated him even moreso that he didn’t initially expect as much from the renowned taijutsu man .
yet in the single moment mitsuki had ceased his rapid , constant attack , he hears something odd . proud ? he hadn’t made any progress , there’s no reason to be proud . the moon catches his breath , striking yellow boring into his tutor’s ever - joyful features .
❝ lee - san , you don’t have to give empty praise , i haven’t done anything good enough yet , ❞ comes a stubborn response . anything short of perfection isn’t enough . mitsuki was DESIGNED to be the perfect shinobi , it doesn’t make sense that he hasn’t gotten the hang of this yet . he’s forgotten that he is still only a child .
fistsbled·.
lee hummed to himself as he watered the many plants in his home , how beautiful they grew ; how strong . matatabi lay curled up in her seal , relaxing , as well . it was rare for a shinobi to be truly AT HOME , for a jonin no less . the leaf’s tiger enjoyed these rare moments . of course he’d still train later this afternoon , but lunch first . perhaps curry . . . you always eat curry , at least add more vegetables this time , the nekomata’s lazy voice sounds warmly in his mind . and lee smiled . yes , spicy curry . lee’s smile grew when he felt muichiro - san’s smell approached , of course he only went for the door when they knocked . ❛ muichiro - san !! come in ~ ❜
x.
they don’t remember if they were even invited over [ or if they were , if they were supposed to show up today or another day ] , but here they are . tired eyes never particularly get used to seeing such a nice place , muichiro’s own being particularly bland as they’d never bothered to decorate since being chucked in there when they were young . there was probably a reason , but now they’re a little jealous . but a lot of things about lee made muichiro a little jealous , but more happy that they’re friends with someone that has his life so put together . they can learn from him … probably .
they step into the tidy flat , setting their shoes aside politely . they’d forgotten to do this in one too many homes , the disapproving glares are still etched into their brain .
❝ i saw a cool frog on the way here , that’s probably good luck . you should’a seen it , it was real round . i thought it was a rock . ❞
fistsbled.
❛ for accusing my praise to be empty , i ought to have you run another 500 laps . ❜ gai would have , or he would have given him a punch to the face ; followed by a loving embrace AND TEARS . it fills him with nostalgia . perhaps this is the kind of teaching mitsuki needed , too . the thought was met with the nibi shifting in flimsy seal , please do not . and lee’s head tilted , bandaged arms finding their way placed on his hips . guess not perhaps this kind of affection , vigorous & youthful , was lost on him . it definitely wasn’t lost on metal but the moonlit boy still needed some kind of love . if he got it from orochimaru was doubtful , and he wouldn’t dare to look this deep into the child’s heart . perhaps one day he’d consult konohamaru about it . ❛ perhaps on another day , hm ?? would you like to grab dinner ?? ❜
lee smiled , konoha had many SUNS , ( lee was one of the brightest ) . the grin didn’t waver when matatabi spoke once more . you know he doesn’t need food . which was indeed true , though the BONDING remained . and still . . . neither do you , and you still like to eat the nekomata just laughed in reply . you got me there .
for a moment , mitsuki feared such actually being the case . trying to run right now feels like it’d be about as successful as throwing a fish in the air to see if it’d fly . a wave of relief comes when it’s disregarded for now ... && though mitsuki does feel a bit guilty for offending lee , efforts are usually just that . EFFORTS . things to be pitied when proven failures .
the serpent seems to brighten a little at the mention of food . it won’t regain his energy , but … food tastes good . that , && he’s not quite ready to return to his eerily quiet apartment . sarada had probably already fed mikazuki by now , so the tiny kitten is likely asleep && happy . it’d be far too quiet , far too uncomfortable . may as well stay out as long as he can , right ?
❝ of course , ❞ && he gives his usual , neutral smile , ❝ i was getting hungry anyway , ❞ liar .
fistsbled.
the fight had been BRUTAL , worthy of the finals , some jonin senseis said . and lee would get more chances to present his strength in the last round . where he’d face uchiha sasuke . ( gladly taking the chance to finish what he started ) but thoughts wouldn’t leave the young suna shinobi , even though he prevailed , gaara - kun scared him . because they were THE SAME , two sides of the same coin . lee only vaguely remembered the life of hatred , where his sole solace had been matatabi’s love , and gaara didn’t even have that . and then , when lee had been on the edge of something horrifying , gai - sensei adopted him . loved him unconditionally . once again , something gaara - kun didn’t have . it was an arrogant fear , he thought , but lee could have ended up much like gaara . and it terrified him .
matatabi was against it , he didn’t even dare to ask for gai - sensei’s opinion . the second the final round was declared to take place in one month , and the students && teachers had been dismissed . lee headed to the hosptial . something drew him to gaara . he expected flowers in his room , his siblings and teacher checking on him . he’d heard lee was the first to touch , even INJURE , him , and the leaf’s tiger hadn’t been exactly gentle in his beatings . internal bleedings , broken bones not even the sand , pathetically molten to glass , could protect . weren’t they WORRIED ?? carefully lee entered the room , matatabi was on edge , ready to strike . ❛ are you awake . . ? ❜
are you awake?
he wishes he weren’t.
gaara would have attacked the moment he’d heard that voice if not for knowing it’d be futile. if not for some semblance of fear that he’d be attacked right back. the boy can’t exactly remember a time he was afraid of anyone. anxious, perhaps, in a life long passed. never afraid. not until his sand failed to protect him. not until he realized that against this thing, he may as well have been being protected by wet paper.
gaara shakes, eyes wide, a disgusting & feral combination of terror & rage burning in his gaze. what does he want? is he going to kill him? is he here to rub in his victory? to mock him? the redhead attempts sitting up, a sharp pain forcing him back down. he doesn’t want to be laying. he doesn’t want to be vulnerable here.
❛ leave. i’ll kill you. ❜ he growls out a painfully obvious empty threat, trying to ignore how shallow his breath is. trying to ignore how loud his heartbeat is in his ears.
heartbeat. that means he’s alive, right? for once, he hates that feeling.
❛ don’t fucking come near me. ❜ it sounds more desperate. is this truly the same guy who went around slaughtering people, acting all high & mighty the whole time? this just looks like a scared child.
lee snuggled against gaara, neither asleep nor awake. he dozed. SLEEP WAS DIFFERENT, designed to restore body & mind. lee wasn't doing anything productive right now, but for once he was okay with that. he was so close he could hear gaara's breathing. he could stay like this for a while longer. unprompted // always acc. —— @fistsbled.
gaara often loses himself in the stress of being a kage, forgetting to take a break for practically any reason. breaks mean he isn’t working. not working is even more stressful than working. though, lee is often the one who pulls him out of it. visiting at seemingly random & wordlessly demanding gaara’s attention with nothing but his strong energy. despite his aversion to ignoring his work, the kazekage would never turn down such a loud excuse to rest. & after a long day, he’d asked lee to stay with him.
touch remains, still, a foreign concept. gaara is comfortable regardless, because of who it is with him. he is comfortable with lee more than most others. his guilt can’t reach him while he’s holding something so precious in his arms & it hasn’t crumbled yet. gaara had thought, for so long, that nothing he touches would last long. yet, lee is still here. he’s still here, & he’s okay, & he’s not going anywhere.
the redhead hums, a smile tugging very gently at his lips.
his heart feels warm.
he finds it in himself to pull lee just a bit closer. just enough. definitely worth abandoning his paperwork.