For A Breath Through Both Nostrils - Tumblr Posts

Achoo!

Hero was absolutely determined to enter the base unnoticed. They slunk through the shadows like a cat, graceful and assured. Every breath was carefully measured, every footfall quiet and even.

They slipped past the first door, then down a corridor. They followed it to the right, then paused to study the light filtering through the door frame at the end of the hall.

It sounded as if the TV was on, possibly some local news station. The light shifted colors as the broadcast presumably changed frames.

Perfect, the villain would be distracted.

Hero crept to a room on the right, pushing open the door slowly after spraying the hinges with a little lubricant to prevent them from squeaking.

Inside the room, as their eyes adjusted to the dark, Hero could see filing cabinets appear on the far wall.

Bingo.

They crept across the floor, sliding upon the top drawer of the first cabinet after picking the lock with a small kit they shoved back into their pocket.

They flipped through file after file, reaching, stacking, and scanning as fast as they dared.

Finally, they got to the alphabet range they believed the information they needed would be filed under. This cabinet looked particularly untouched, covered in a thick layer of dust that Hero crinkled their nose at.

Villain really should invest in a swiffer.

Lo and behold, the file they needed was inside, but unfortunately buried at the back. They finagled the paper folder out then clutched it tightly to their chest. Ready to leave, they applauded their own silence as the last drawer clicked shut.

Everything was going according to plan.

That was, until, they sneezed.

“Bless you.”

“Ah!”

Hero jumped, knocking over a stack of boxes and sending more particles into the air as a result. They whirled on the villain, who stood in the door frame with their arms crossed. They opened their mouth-and sneezed a second time.

And then a third.

“Bless you, bless you,” Villain chuckled.

Hero sniffed loudly then pointed an accusatory finger at the villain.

“You scared me!”

“I scared you. Which one of us showed up in the other’s base with no warning?” They asked, looking down the bridge of their nose at the hero.

Hero huffed, “I didn’t know I needed an invitation to infiltrate my enemy’s lair.”

“You don’t, not when you do it secretly.”

“I was being sneaky!” Hero defended.

“Right,” Villain shook their head, “And I assume that sneeze was strategic?”

“It’s not my fault you don’t clean!”

“Well,” the villain started, “since I caught you, I’m going to need you to put that file back.”

Hero hung their head in disappointment, but turned to place the Manila folder back anyway.

“What now?” They asked.

“Now, we get you a tissue, I suppose.”

Achoo!

Hero was absolutely determined to enter the base unnoticed. They slunk through the shadows like a cat, graceful and assured. Every breath was carefully measured, every footfall quiet and even.

They slipped past the first door, then down a corridor. They followed it to the right, then paused to study the light filtering through the door frame at the end of the hall.

It sounded as if the TV was on, possibly some local news station. The light shifted colors as the broadcast presumably changed frames.

Perfect, the villain would be distracted.

Hero crept to a room on the right, pushing open the door slowly after spraying the hinges with a little lubricant to prevent them from squeaking.

Inside the room, as their eyes adjusted to the dark, Hero could see filing cabinets appear on the far wall.

Bingo.

They crept across the floor, sliding upon the top drawer of the first cabinet after picking the lock with a small kit they shoved back into their pocket.

They flipped through file after file, reaching, stacking, and scanning as fast as they dared.

Finally, they got to the alphabet range they believed the information they needed would be filed under. This cabinet looked particularly untouched, covered in a thick layer of dust that Hero crinkled their nose at.

Villain really should invest in a swiffer.

Lo and behold, the file they needed was inside, but unfortunately buried at the back. They finagled the paper folder out then clutched it tightly to their chest. Ready to leave, they applauded their own silence as the last drawer clicked shut.

Everything was going according to plan.

That was, until, they sneezed.

“Bless you.”

“Ah!”

Hero jumped, knocking over a stack of boxes and sending more particles into the air as a result. They whirled on the villain, who stood in the door frame with their arms crossed. They opened their mouth-and sneezed a second time.

And then a third.

“Bless you, bless you,” Villain chuckled.

Hero sniffed loudly then pointed an accusatory finger at the villain.

“You scared me!”

“I scared you. Which one of us showed up in the other’s base with no warning?” They asked, looking down the bridge of their nose at the hero.

Hero huffed, “I didn’t know I needed an invitation to infiltrate my enemy’s lair.”

“You don’t, not when you do it secretly.”

“I was being sneaky!” Hero defended.

“Right,” Villain shook their head, “And I assume that sneeze was strategic?”

“It’s not my fault you don’t clean!”

“Well,” the villain started, “since I caught you, I’m going to need you to put that file back.”

Hero hung their head in disappointment, but turned to place the Manila folder back anyway.

“What now?” They asked.

“Now, we get you a tissue, I suppose.”