Grief For Those Not Met - Tumblr Posts

My maternal grandfather was gay and died during the aids epidemic while my mother was still young. I often wonder what impact having a grandfather in the community would have done for my internalized phobias growing up. Would I have come out and been happier sooner? Would I have been able to share in my queerness with a grandfather I never knew if he was around now?

My plushy growing up was a gift from him to my mom, who she then gifted to me. It's like I carried a piece of the grandfather I would never know with me. It's odd how a tragedy that occurred before I was born can impact me now through the past that could have been.

one of the saddest things is when someone in your family tells you you would've loved someone who died before you were born. like my mother has told me & my best friend that we would have loved talking to her father. that me & my brothers have the same humor as our late uncle & even look like him. everyone is everywhere & nowhere & here & gone & dying & coming back. it's as though you know them through their shadow or their ghost or your own actions, but you won't ever really know. haunts me, i guess