Guards! Guards! - Tumblr Posts
One of my fave quotes of all time. That and the similar quote from Guards! Guards! (along with half of everything Terry Pratchett ever wrote lol) about how the arrow shot HAS to be a million-to-one chance or else there’s clearly no chance it’ll work! Apparently it’s a running joke in Discworld which I love
“Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.”
Terry Pratchett, Mort
"So it'd only work if it's your actual million-to-one chance," said the sergeant.
"I suppose that's right," said Nobby.
"So 999,943-to-one, for example—" Colon began.
Carrot shook his head. "Wouldn't have a hope. No one ever said, 'It's a 999,943-to-one chance but it just might work.'"
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
“Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.”
Terry Pratchett, Mort
Hm Well As I have probably told you, I saw a “Guards! Guards!” adaption, in which Paul Darrow was Sam Vimes, and it was a great performance (or I was just too happy, because two of my favourite things together were too much) Anyway, my only problem was that Paul was around 57 at that time and quite healthy-looking, while Vimes in this book was around 41 and sickly-looking because of the drinking, smoking and general unhealthy work conditions. So. I’ve tried to imagine, how he should have looked. Sorry, I am clearly not an artist.
Guards! Guards! was not the first Discworld book I read but it is the one that punched my angsty, edgy thirteen-year-old self in the face. I have never had a book hit me like that since. Nothing has ever picked me up by the scruff of the neck and shown me my own face in the mirror that way.
I was angsting around, all "the world is terrible" and "people are evil" and "humans are a blight upon the earth" and "everyone is stupid" and Vimes showed up and said, "Yeah, and?"
So what? So they're stupid and petty - save them anyway. So they're selfish - save them anyway. So it's all fucked and there's never going to be a happy ending - save them anyway. Do it anyway. You don't get to opt out of caring just because they're grubby and ignorant and reactionary and petty because so are you and that's all we've got.
No other book has ever changed my worldview in one blow before or since. I reckon that's something that can only happen to you when you're a teenager anyway. But I've never quite gotten over it.
They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, attack the hero one at a time, and be slaughtered. No one ever asks them if they want to. This book is dedicated to those fine men.
Guards! Guards!; Terry Pratchett
The reason that clichés become clichés is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.
Guards! Guards! Terry Pratchett
Depending on how work goes this year it might be a while before the actual final piece sees the light of day - so I'm releasing the animatic for the Guards! Guards! animated trailer on the unsuspecting public. I was hoping it could work as both a trailer/intro animation to a non-existant Guards! Guards! animated show, and I think it turned out pretty neat! I hope you enjoy.
Some very important facts in my life right now:
I'm currently visiting NYC with my kidlets, aged 8 and 10.
We are staying about three blocks away from the Empire State Building.
There is currently a giant inflatable dragon wrapped around the Empire State Building.
Kidlets are delighted by the dragon.
Kidlets are rather more delighted by the dragon than might be expected.
Yes, you might say, it's a dragon wrapped around a famous skyscraper, where's the surprise in that?
No surprise.
It's just that they're extremely excited.
They're reading Terry Pratchett 's Guards! Guards!
A book that features a giant dragon swooping off the tallest tower in the great city of Anhk Morpork.
They are quoting the book constantly
"The shape that looked like a large pair of wings unfurling was, in fact, a large pair of wings unfurling."
All the time
"Dragons don’t have friends! The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive!"
Little girls, wandering through the tourist attractions of midtown Manhattan, like
"A people united can never be ignited!"
With such enthusiasm
"This is going to be the world's first democratically killed dragon! One man, one stab!
I love them so much, I'm so proud, I picked the right partner, we made the best possible kids
(It's a promo for HBO's Game of Thrones: House of the Dragon)
Guards! Guards! was not the first Discworld book I read but it is the one that punched my angsty, edgy thirteen-year-old self in the face. I have never had a book hit me like that since. Nothing has ever picked me up by the scruff of the neck and shown me my own face in the mirror that way.
I was angsting around, all "the world is terrible" and "people are evil" and "humans are a blight upon the earth" and "everyone is stupid" and Vimes showed up and said, "Yeah, and?"
So what? So they're stupid and petty - save them anyway. So they're selfish - save them anyway. So it's all fucked and there's never going to be a happy ending - save them anyway. Do it anyway. You don't get to opt out of caring just because they're grubby and ignorant and reactionary and petty because so are you and that's all we've got.
No other book has ever changed my worldview in one blow before or since. I reckon that's something that can only happen to you when you're a teenager anyway. But I've never quite gotten over it.
Errol and The Queen
Depending on how work goes this year it might be a while before the actual final piece sees the light of day - so I'm releasing the animatic for the Guards! Guards! animated trailer on the unsuspecting public. I was hoping it could work as both a trailer/intro animation to a non-existant Guards! Guards! animated show, and I think it turned out pretty neat! I hope you enjoy.
Why does Vimes being short seem to come as a surprise to some people?
Remember that not only is he called Vetinari's Terrier (terriers tend to be small dogs), but in The Fifth Elephant, Vimes initially fails to recognize the irony during a rant in which he mentions "Eight-stone" (112 lb. or 50.8 kg) fighters and uses the term "bantamweight". Even if his genetics would have allowed him to be taller, his background does not support the idea of him being anything but short.
Sam Vimes grew up not just in the Shades, but on Cockbill Street, a place where people couldn't afford to eat regularly. He and his mother probably faced hunger more frequently than some of their neighbors (though perhaps not as frequently as larger families) because Mrs. Vimes wouldn't accept money that was made immorally and because she was a single mother who didn't have the income of a husband to help cover expenses.
Consider how, in Night Watch, Vimes (as Keel) was shocked to see how skinny his younger self was, and that his younger self said that he joined the watch because a friend had told him that there was free food, a uniform, and that he could occasionally make an extra dollar. This shows a surprising difference between adult and young Vimes: with his adult and soon-to-be-father self being taken aback by the sorry sight of himself as a kid as well as his younger self openly and readily talking to a near stranger about how, at 17 years old, he's just now starting to get a sense of food security. Furthermore, in Guards!Guards!, it is stated that "He couldn't help remembering how much he'd wanted a puppy when he was a little boy. Mind you, they'd been starving - anything with meat on it would have done", which shows the extent of the hunger he faced in his youth.
Sam Vimes isn't someone of an average height that seems short simply because he spends so much time around tall people (such as Carrot, Sybil, and Vetinari), he is short. Vimes grew up without access to healthy or adequate quantities of food, therefore his growth was stunted by malnourishment, which likely means that he would be below the average height of a human citizen of Ankh-Morpork.