Hakaizer - Tumblr Posts

Starting Small

Summary:

What if Stacey hadn't simply brushed off Hakaizer in those woods, what if he had let himself be helped by the friend he wanted so dearly even for that moment?

A Scene addition to the end of Episode 38 that haunted me a bit until I wrote it out. It's not really a fix-it since it could be canon compliant, so it is a bit bittersweet but I hope my emotions and vision carry for you through this.

Read on AO3 with the link or read here below the read more!

It started small, as many displays of emotions had to be when living amongst the Tojitendo. You didn’t get far or live long if you let your emotions run rampant and show on your sleeve, you’d been seen as weak and made a target or it could lead to acts of outright insubordination and lead you to be scrapped. No, at first standing there in those woods, despite his heart racing and his mind befuddled by everything that happened there, all Stacey let slip through was a shuddered breath and the burning in his nose of worse to come.

Once Zenkaiger was out of sight from them, Hakaizer awkwardly turned to Stacey full of enthusiasm to help, yet unsure what to do. Stacey was his friend, of course he was, they were on the same side and they fought together directly too! But Stacey was only recently reciprocating and advocating their friendship, and even then he had never let himself be vulnerable around the older soldier.

“Ah…,” he stammered out, reaching towards Stacey a bit as if to grab him, but stopping himself part way. Not the best start, but hey, it was a start right?

He cleared his throat and tried again, with a bit more purpose now.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay, Stacey?”

The younger man took a moment before trying to shake him off, his tone soft but his eyes unwilling to meet the other’s gaze and he quickly turned away. Hakaizer didn’t come off as the most attentive in the world, but when it came to his friends he tried his best to be and so it did not go unnoticed the slight tremor to Stacey’s visible hand and arm; shaking from how tightly his fist was being clenched at his side it seemed. And even still-

“It’s nothing.”

Ah, it was going to be like that then.

Hakaizer moved quickly but not suddenly to be in front of his fighting partner once more, being too direct wasn’t going to yield him any answers, so maybe he just needed to let Stacey come to him about this. That Zenkaiger had told him to look after Stacey, and though he didn't need his opponent to be the one to say as much, it did paint an extra layer of concern to the situation. 

“If you ever wanna talk,” he clapped his hands onto Stacey’s shoulders forcing him to acknowledge the others words at least for the moment, though he never gripped so hard as the other couldn't leave if he truly wanted to. “I’m all ears, okay? We’re friends after all.”

Stacey still wouldn’t look at him, instead keeping his eyes locked to the ground. He didn’t seem to be ignoring him though so much as lost in thought; that was fine, Hakaizer thought to himself. His job right now was taking care of Stacey, so he could wait. He had barely fought that day and his battery was almost full, he had hours to simply wait out his friend if need be, though he really hoped that wouldn't be the case.

He was happy, at first, when after only a few moments Stacey finally raised his head; however he was instantly filled with more concern than ever before when he saw his eyes glistening with unshed tears. He had never seen the younger soldier like this before, assuming in general he just wasn’t the emotional type of guy. But it seemed what had happened between Stacey and his mother in these woods had finally pushed him past a threshold of some sort. Stacey kept staring up at him, as if searching for some kind of answer so all he could do was nod once more in encouragement for Stacey to reach out to him.

Stacey opened his mouth to speak, but with barely stuttering out a sound he moved to shake his head and raised a hand to brush off Hakaizer. However, the older of them tightened his grip, unwilling to be stepped aside from when he was so close to…something, something important he could feel it. Stacey whipped his head up, a little panicked but not frightened at the resistance.

“I’m fine, it’s nothing. We need to go back now to-”

The white and red suited ranger did not miss the hitch in Stacey’s voice.

“You don’t have to go back anytime soon, all they’re going to do is have a meeting over how the mission went today like always. We don’t need to be present for that, you weren’t on duty today and I left early.” He watched Stacey knit his brow, his expression a bit frustrated trying to work out his intentions.

“What are you-”

He was cut off once more.

“You don’t have to tell me what is wrong, I want to help and I would love to fix it, but I understand sometimes there isn’t a solution that’s easy either. We just have to keep going at it full speed non stop with what we can do! So just tell me or-or show me at least, how you feel. Maybe we can at least do something about that?”

Stacey’s eyes widened in surprise before scrunching his whole face and making to look to the ground, shaking his head in a silent ‘no’ yet not pulling away either. His nose burned and his throat felt sticky, already choking on what threatened to come. He couldn't though, not here, not with someone to see, not after all this time….

“I can’t change the past and what happened, but I'd like to change your present. Will you let me? Just tell me what to do, and I will do my best for you Stacey.”

Against his desires, a single sob pushed past his lips, almost a cough at first if you didn't pay attention. Struggling in futility against more, he wrapped his arms around his midsection as if that would stop the burning in his chest and the rolling in his gut as finally tears quietly spilled passed tightly closed lids. 

Hakaizer slid his hands down to Stacey’s upper arms now, and in response Stacey just wordlessly stepped forward just enough so he could press his head into the other’s chest. He didn’t let himself truly cry unrestrained, his tears spilled over and an occasional soft hiccup could be heard, but even so it was quiet, like a secret he so ingrained to never be revealed. Acting on an instinct he couldn’t place, Hakaizer slid his arms until he was holding Stacey in a loose embrace, slowly pulling the younger man in to fully rest against him.

The noise that came from his friend was almost the mewl of a puppy, and he felt Stacey’s weight finally sag into him as the crying became more consistent if the shake of his shoulder was any tell. Hakaizer carefully and repeatedly brushed his palm to smooth down the back of Stacey’s hair, a soothing motion made only slightly less effective due to his bulky armor, but not a true deterrent.

“Yosh, yosh, it’s alright.You’ve worked hard, for everyone’s sake, but you don’t have to keep up anything right now. We’re friends, and I'll be here for you like you have been for me, okay? I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not anytime soon.” 

He couldn't feel it through the armor he wore, as it was a breathless sound at most, but Stacey mouthed, softer than a whisper, into his chest between choked breaths amongst tears.

‘How despicable am I…to wish that were the truth?’