Happy Bday Jimin - Tumblr Posts

ozone | pjm

pairing ↠ ex!jimin x reader

genre ↠ angst

beta-read by ↠ @hoebii

word count ↠ 1.3k

warnings ↠ mentions of cheating, driking.

summary ↠ when you find out your ex Park Jimin, whom you had cheated on in the past, is getting married, all you can think about is alcohol. at some point, you end up calling him, as you often do whenever you remember you've lost the love of your life.

A/N  ↠ hi, yall! recently I've spent a huge amount of hours listening to Chase Atlantic and I got uber inspired with this scenario hahaha as you can see, I'm a drama queen and I'm a huge fan of angst.

I just wanted to try some new stuff and this it it, writing has been my therapy and I decided I wouldn't be embarrassed about it anymore. so here it is, I hope if this reaches anyone, it can be an enjoyable read. I also want to thank @hoebii for taking the time to read this and help me make it better.

as always, here's a humble playlist with the songs that inspired me.

feedback is always appreciated ♡

“Y/n?” You hear his hoarse voice through the phone.

Naturally, he was already asleep. It’s 3:23 am of a fucking weekday, of course he was already asleep. He probably fell asleep with her nestled comfortably against his chest. You could feel the sourness of the whisky coming back to your mouth, as the images of this particular scene fill your mind.

It should be you in there, not her.

It should be you, but it wasn’t because you fucked it up. You fucked everything up, because you got carried away. You fucked up, because, as always, you didn’t value what you had and took things for granted. You took Park Jimin for granted. Nothing was ever enough. You have a nice job, a nice car, a nice flat, nice friends, a nice family and a cute little puppy waiting for you when you get home.

And you had him, until you fucked it up. You got bored, for, again, nothing ever seemed to be good enough for you. You thought so about him until you lost him.

How silly.

“Hi, Jimin”, you smiled to yourself.

“Is everything ok? It’s-”

“Yeah, it’s three in the morning, I know”.

It was a mistake, of course, calling your ex in the middle of the night. But then again, he was the one who told you could call him if you ever felt sad.

He promised, actually. He promised he would always be there for you whenever you felt sad, even if you broke up. And, well, it happened. You broke up and you tried not to think about him, but apparently someone should remind you that when you got drunk. You made it almost a habit. Whenever you get drunk, you don't seem to remember that you have been trying to forget Jimin in these past couple of years.

“Where are you? Have you been drinking?” He asks you, his voice still hoarse. It sends chills down your spine.

“I’ve had a few shots, yeah”.

He sighs. You listen to a muffled voice on the other end. Her voice, probably, since you are calling someone else’s fiance in the middle of the night. It’s a fucking Wednesday night, for fuck’s sake, you’re so pathetic.

“It’s nothing, love, go back to sleep”, he whispers.

After listening to him calling her love, you feel even more pathetic. What are you doing? Calling your ex in the middle of the night to fucking whine at his upcoming wedding? Is this what you became? Fucking pathetic.

Silence.

Maybe he’s hung up.

“I’m sorry, Y/n…”, he says in a normal voice tone. “You never answered my question… Where are you? Do you want me to send a car to pick you up? It’s pretty late”.

“No, thanks. I-”

“Are you alone?”

You swallow. Who would bear to be in your company tonight? Tonight you are just a bitter old memory of yourself, after drinking your dignity away. You wouldn't put your friends through that, you can take care of yourself. This isn’t the first and, certainly, wouldn't be the last time this scenario happens.

“Yeah”.

“I’ll send you a car, it’s too late for y-”

“Congrats on your engagement, honey”, you interrupt him. “Seokjin told me…”

More silence on his end.

“Oh… Yeah…”, he was silent for a moment, again, but then he continued. “Thanks”.

“You two must be over the moon”, you suggest, contorting your face involuntarily.

“I mean… Yes, I’m happy, thank you for your consideration”.

“I miss you, Chim”, you say before you can stop yourself. “And somewhere deep down you must miss me too… Answering a phone call from your crazy ex in the middle of the night”.

“Y/n, why are you calling? What do you want?” He sighs. “If you need some company, call your friends. Do you want me to try to get in touch with Seokjin?”

As much as he tried, he could not be rude or impolite. He is the most considerate person you've ever had the pleasure to meet. He wasn’t rude to you then, when you cheated on him after four years of a steady and serious relationship, and he isn’t being rude to you now. You honestly don’t know if you’d rather if he had just made a scene. If he had picked up the phone and told you to go fuck yourself, he’d make it easier for you to hate him.

Maybe that’s what you’re after, maybe you need him to be rude, to yell at you, to call you names, to unleash his resentment. But he never did so, he just withdrew from your life.

You shared the same friend group, so he stopped showing up when he knew you’d be around. He started doing groceries at some other place. He looked for a new movie theater to attend. Slowly, Jimin disappeared from your life, taking every trace of you with him.

“I’m a big girl, honey, I can take care of myself”, you snort. “I just want to apologize… Chim, I’m so, so sorry”.

“Don't… Don't do that, Y/n. Don't apologize, it’s ancient history. Really. I’ve already told you I forgive you, I don’t hold any grudges, you can move on with your life, for real!”

“That’s the thing, Chim, I don’t think I’ll ever get over you”, you confess.

One more time, there’s nothing but silence.

You continue. “But, babe, if you give me just one chance, just one more try, I’ll prove you that I’m changed…”

Dignity, what's that? Right now, you had no idea. You feel your eyes welling up with tears, making the lights behind the bar’s counter become fuzzy. Shades of blue, red and purple mixed up in front of your watery eyes, as you wait for Jimin to say something.

“I need to go, Y/n… It’s late”.

“Babe, this is probably my last chance to say this-”

“Please, Y/n, don’t call me that”.

He never answers your propositions directly. Of course he doesn’t, he’s to good to tell you to fuck yourself or something similar. Deep down, you now these phone calls only make you seem stupid and desperate and you’d regret calling him as soon as you hung up. But, well, you were kind of stupid and desperate. You know the only thing you could do right now is to watch him go, but it hurts. You’re gonna lose him for good now. It was all your fault.

He’s getting married. It’s over.

“Yeah, yeah… I’m sorry I called you, I don’t know what I was thinking”, you let out a humourless laugh, wiping the tears that rolled down your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“As I’ve said before, there's no need to apologize. You were never one who apologizes, it just feels like it doesn't suit you”, he continued. “Take care of yourself, ok?”

“You too”.

He laughs softly, just to show you he heard what you’ve said. “Good night, Y/n”.

“Good night, Jimin… I love you”.

“I loved you too… Very much so”.

You hear the click as he hangs up. More silence. You sit on the bar stool, mulling over your past mistakes, blaming yourself. You are to blame and the worst part of it is that you know it is your fault. No one else’s. You would be the one on his bed tonight, if you hadn’t been so selfish.

If only you hadn’t been so selfish. If only you hadn’t been so self centered. If only you hadn’t been so… You.

Now his I love yous belong to someone else’s ear. His hugs belong to someone else’s body. His kisses to someone else’s lips. You have really lost him for good. He’s getting married.

You snort at yourself.

You tuck your phone back into the front pocket of your jeans. You look at the bartender, he looks back at you with tired eyes. He stood leaning against the black wall behind him, with his arms folded as he looked at you. You mouth him “another one, please”. And that’s where you spend the night until the sun rises, not taking any ounce of your guilt and pain away.

happy jiminie day, everyone 💜

951013 ♡ happy birthday jimin! (cr. @jung-koook, qdeoks, namuspromised, moajmjk00, doolsetbangtan)

the cutest boy in his birthday live ♡ (transl. cr. ryuminating)