He's Such A Menace - Tumblr Posts
Prove it: Seungmin x Reader
Kim Seungmin, your best friend, is so fucking smug all the time. You make the mistake of implying that no man can finger a girl the way they do in porn, and you make the mistake of challenging him when he tells you he can. Content: Smut Warnings: Fingering, slightly mean Seungmin, degradation WC: 1700
“Porn isn’t real.” Seungmin blinked at you from where he sat on the other end of the couch, unamused. The TV was playing something in the background, but neither of you had been paying attention for quite some time.
“Obviously. Everyone knows that,” he says, annoyed. “Care to share why you’re bringing this up now?”
You turn your phone around to show him the video you were watching–some girl getting fingered and enjoying it a bit too much, moans increasingly loud as she squirts and creams all over the guy’s fingers.
“Dude, are you seriously watching porn right now?” He laughs at you, incredulous. “Watch the fucking TV at least.”
“You’re not watching the TV,” you point out to him. Your friend has been lazily scrolling on his phone for at least 30 minutes.
“Yeah, but I’m not watching porn while I’m supposed to be hanging out with my best friend.”
“Fine, fine!” you say, throwing your hands up in surrender. The conversation goes quiet and you ignore the blush that crawls up your face at your friend’s words.
“What part of that wasn’t real though?” He asks, finally breaking the silence.
“No girl gets fingered like that and it actually feels that good,” you say. “She was obviously faking it.”
Seungmin doesn’t look up from his phone. “Maybe you’ve been hanging out with the wrong guys.”
You scoff. “Like you would know, Kim Seungmin. I doubt you’ve ever even fingered a woman before, let alone made one squirt.”
He finally looks up from his phone, lifting a brow. “Are you implying I don’t get any?”
“Not implying,” you say. “Just stating the obvious.”
You and your friend have been known to tease one another relentlessly so this was nothing new. The absolutely neutral expression on Seungmin’s face, however, threw you for a loop. You find yourself backtracking, talking again way too fast and digging yourself into a deeper hole.
“He was moving his hand way too fast!” you say. “It didn’t even look like he was even touching her clit. Yet there she was, seemingly cumming all over his hand! It just doesn’t seem real, you know?”
“There are other erogenous zones other than the clit,” he says. He’s staring at you now. “I’m telling you, if no guy has ever made you feel that good from fingering, they’re doing it wrong.”
“And you would do it right?” you challenge. You’re trying to fluster him–he’s simply way too calm for this conversation, and you hate being the only one who’s heart is beating way too fast.
“I would.” He says it like it’s a fact. It pisses you off, how sure of himself he is. Seungmin, your best friend, who is seemingly nerdy and shy and quiet, who is now looking at you with all of the confidence in the world. Arousal pooled in your stomach as you thought about one fact you knew about your friend: He never took on a challenge he knew he couldn’t win.
It has always been evident in the way he engages with his own friends. They would make bets with one another, each one more ridiculous than the next, and Seungmin would egg them on and only participate if he was sure he could do it. He would always be nonchalant about it. “I could beat you,” he would say, and they would always take the bait. As if he weren’t even trying, he would always win. That infuriating piece of knowledge, the idea of finally being able to prove him wrong is what motivates you to say what you do:
“Prove it.”
He lets out a small chuckle. “If you’re trying to proposition me, you’re going to have to do better than that.”
“What?” you stutter. Once again he’s managed to get the upper-hand, noticing how embarrassed you get at his words.
“You want me to finger you that bad? You’re going to have to ask me nicely.”
You start to backtrack. “Who said I was–”
“So you don’t want me to finger your pretty little cunt until you cum all over my hands? Hmm? You don’t want to squirt all over my fingers?” He says it as simply as he would if he were talking about the weather.
You want to deny him now. You want to brush it off, tell him to fuck off, and go back to doom-scrolling and pretending to watch TV. But you don’t.
“Hmm?” He asks again, taunting you.
“I do,” you reply finally.
“Then ask nicely,” he tells you. He moves closer to you on the couch, phone still in his hand. You want to pick it up and throw it across the living room. Maybe that would get a reaction out of him.
You glance down on his phone, looking to see what he has been looking at that has got him so preoccupied and uninterested up until now. You’re surprised to see nothing but his home screen. Bingo. There was nothing all along.
“Please,” you say, smiling sweetly at him.
“Please what?” Now he was getting on your nerves.
“For fuck’s sake, Seungmin! Please finger me! Please, please make me cum all over your fingers!” You cry out, exasperated. Your words are sarcastic but you get the reaction you wanted from him nonetheless; he reaches over you and grabs the waistband of your shorts, pulling them down with your panties in one swift motion. You’re left completely bare for him.
This has now crossed over into uncharted territory. Instinctually, you close your legs. Are you really ready to show yourself completely to Seungmin just to prove a point? Just to show he’s wrong and that his cockiness in his ability to finger a girl is all for show?
“Nope,” he chides. “You wanted it so bad, you don’t get to hide from me.” His hand on your knee sends electric sparks up your body.
Yes. Yes, you were.
You spread your legs open wide for him, watching his face. He was seemingly unaffected by your actions, the ghost of a grin on his face. He makes a show of reaching over your body, ignoring your core completely to push two fingers past your lips. Your brows shoot up in surprise and he lets out a small breath that’s reminiscent of a laugh.
“Suck.” You do. You let your tongue swirl around the digits in your mouth, getting them nice and wet for him. You do so almost obscenely, moaning slightly at the taste of his fingers and letting spit fall down your chin. He responds by shoving them further into your mouth, pumping them in and out and eventually far down enough that you gag all over them. Your reactions are no longer for show now; he’s already managed to shut you up.
When he pulls his fingers out of your mouth, it’s with a string of saliva. He reaches in between your legs and finally makes contact with your folds. His touches are featherlight, teasing. He’s watching the way your chest rises and falls, your labored breathing, the way you want to close your thighs again not to hide, but to finally relieve the pressure between your legs and he smirks.
When his wet fingers dip into your hole you can hear them because you’re already soaking wet. He shallowly thrusts his fingers in and out, gathering your wetness and bringing it up to spread it across your folders. He taps your clit with his fingers, gentle and not with the intention that you need.
“Seungmin, if you don’t stop teasing me I swear to God–”
And he shushes you. When you go to protest once again, his fingers finally meet your clit. He rubs circles around it, rhythmic and systemic in his ministrations. He’s working you up, slow and steady until you’re completely putty in his hands. He switches between stimulating your clit and fucking his fingers up into your entrance, occasionally curling them and hitting that spongey spot that has you holding your breath.
When your eyes meet his, the look he gives you is devious.
He leans forward, spitting directly on your soaked pussy. You gasp.
“Is this all you needed? Wanted to get on my last nerve so fucking bad, didn’t you baby? Did you just need my fingers to shut you up?”
You whine at his words. When his fingers dive into your entrance again the pace he sets is brutal, thrusting into you fast and hard. The palm of his hand hits your clit every time his fingers bully into you.
“Seung–too much,” you say.
“Shhhh,” he tells you again. “You wanted it so fucking bad, baby. You can take it.” Your hips buck up to meet his hands and you start to pulse around him–he can tell you’re getting close. His fingers leave your entrance and attack your clit, soaking wet as he rubs furiously but with precision. It’s that motion that has you cumming so hard you’re seeing stars, possibly harder than you ever have in your entire life. The noises that come out of your mouth are not your own, they can’t be. You can’t give him that satisfaction–but you already have.
When you come down from your high you’re glaring at him. He removes his fingers from your center and looks at you, smug, as he slips them into his mouth with a grin.
He turns his head and scoots back down to the other end of the couch, smiling to himself as he scrolls on his phone once again. You look at him, still trying to catch your breath.
“Yes?” He says to you. You must have been staring for a beat too long.
“You didn’t make me squirt,” you point out. It’s a baseless accusation, a way to try to salvage your bruised ego since you both know he’s already won.
He simply points down to his shirt which has been soaked from your orgasm; you didn’t even notice. “Told you,” he says.
“Whatever,” you say, rolling your eyes. You pull your pants up and cross your arms, watching the TV and pretending not to care.
“I bet that I can make you squirt all over my cock,” he says with a smile. He doesn’t look up from his phone when he speaks.
You already know what you’re doing when you meet his eyes and say, “Prove it.”
*** A/N: Seungmin has been bias-wrecking me a little too hard as of late. This man is too fine.
Masterlist
Could you please do husband sukuna?
rhymes — sukuna x f!reader
a/n: don’t worry I will post my own “GOJO IS BACK” drabble later but let’s have some husband + dad sukuna first
“you.”
“y-yes, my lord?”
“where is y/n?”
“in the m-main bedroom, my lord.”
“hm,” sukuna hums as he walks towards the bedroom. he hears squealing, giggling, and cackling from the inside.
just what the hell is being done in his bedroom?
raising an eyebrow, he kicks the door open to reveal both you and his son jumping on the queen sized bed you both sleep on.
“little bunny foo foo jumping through the forest!” you sing and your son giggles, jumping to your rhythm. you take notice of your husband’s arrival and leap at him, “welcome home!”
he is annoyed, but he catches you with a grunt, nonetheless.
“what’re you doing jumping on the bed I made the servants make especially for us so it suits your peculiar tastes?” he grumbles.
you shrug with a smile, “our dear son wanted some time to unwind and who am I to say no to him?”
“you’re his mother. you should have more resistance to his ‘cuteness’ than this; he will grow up to be a king,” he concludes and your son ignores him, still jumping on the bed.
you giggle, “and that’s why I am the fun parent, my dear husband,” you sigh softly and pull him down to press a kiss on his cheek, “I missed you.”
“do it properly,” he says and pulls you up to him and presses a scandalous kiss on your lips. you smack his shoulder lightly after he lets go and he merely chuckles.
“stop doing that in front of our son!”
sukuna smirks and you simply roll your eyes.
“mommy, look I am flying!”
“yes I know, sweetie; that’s awesome!”
“mommy, look I am a superhero!”
“I know, love; you’re the best superhero,” coo at your son who is still jumping on the bed.
your husband just looks at him and wonders how the hell does he get the energy.
personally, you have no idea, but something tells you it’s the genetics from your dear husband who is also the king of curses.
sukuna huffs and pulls you by the waist to him, “you keep spoiling him, but you neglect me?”
“I spoil you both and you know it.”
“do you now?” he challenges and you look at him blankly.
“sukuna, i need to go to work,” you mumble.
“no.”
“no?”
he pulls you closer and nods, “you will stay here til I have had enough of you.”
“BUT YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH AND I CAN’T STAY CUDDLING WITH YOU! WHAT ABOUT MY JOB?!”
“you’re married to the king of curses; that’s the last thing you should be worried about,” he deadpans.
“that has nothing to do with spoiling me; you’re just weak-willed,” he grins and you think that, maybe, kicking him in the nuts won’t be so bad.
your son can live without sibling; it will be okay.
you quip, “then how about the time I got you breakfast in bed?”
“the chef was the one cooked it; you only delivered it to my room.”
“why don’t you believe that I cooked it?”
“cause your cooking is awful; it’s probably the only thing close to a poison that could actually kill me.”
you and your son gasp, but your son is the one to retort to his father, “mommy cooked it all by herself! you ungrateful old man!”
you’re about to scold your son to not insult his father but to your surprise, your husband is one step ahead of you.
however, you would’ve preferred if he didn’t even act cause the moron pushed your son off the bed.
your son screams before falling off and hitting the ground in a way that was far from harmless. slowly, his cries grow and he starts wailing and sobbing.
sukuna smirks, “no more monkeys jumping on the bed.”
“SUKUNA! HE IS CRYING!”
“he is my son; he can handle it.”
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do not copy or plagiarize or I will rat you out to gojo
Pete "I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me" Mitchell
I was taking care of some kids, my brother walked into the room, called me gay, and then left Some other words were exchanged but bro 😂