Higgs Monaghan Fiction - Tumblr Posts

~WHEN THE PARTICLE OF GOD PERMEATES YOU~  || Part I

Summary: Without the past you can't understand the present. You meet Higgs Monaghan on your way. Will he help you find out about your past or will he try to use you for his own purposes?

Warnings: Smut

Words: 6305

Authors: Cass & Rouge

A/N: This is little gift for our birthday girl! @porgsandtheirplace​ We hope you will like it!

It's cold outside. A fearfully cold wind blew from north, it quickly became unbearable. It indicated unstable weather. You felt it was about to rain.

With no memory of your former life, you walked along the muddy path, dressed only in a skintight suit and combat boots, with an old, leather jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You heard something that sounded like thunder, so you ran forward as you spotted a mountain in the east; it didn't seem too far and you knew you had to make it there.

As soon as you entered the cave, the timefall started pouring down and another thunder rumbled loudly among the mountains.

Breathing shakily, you got further into the cave, only to sit on the stone floor and pulled knees under your chin, shivering all over your body. You let a sigh, noticing the steam of your breath forming in the cold air.

Higgs forced two members of the Homo Demens to go and find a lost package filled with explosives. Apparently, Fragile’s people were shitty enough to lose it in the middle of nowhere.

"You sure this is the place?" A voice from the depth of the cave asked.

"Higgs said so," another male voice snapped back.

"Well, we better find that shit or our asses will go as high as the fucking sky and I am not keen on it."

Two men emerged from the shadows of the cold corridor, they both stopped and looked at you.

"Well, well! And who do we have here?,” One asked and the other chuckled.

"A little, lost girl? Did you get wet outside?"

You quickly got back to your feet, a cold shiver ran along your spine and you trembled all over your body. "Leave me alone, I didn't do anything," you told them and took two steps back. "I'm just sheltering from the rain. Don't hurt me."

Men looked at each other and laughed loudly.

"Oh, don't hurt me!," One mocked and looked at this friend. "Shall we not hurt her?"

The other man walked up to you to take a good look at your features.

"I don't know. She is nice and young, we could have some fun with her or just throw her outside and watch her die. That would be fun, too," man hummed and grabbed you by your hair, pulling you closer to the entrance of the cave. "What do you say, sweetheart? Is it time for a shower?"

"No, no, no!," You begged and immediately sank to your knees. "Please, don't hurt me, I didn't do anything! Please! I'll do everything, just don't let me die!"

Your heart was beating strongly within your chest.

"You will do anything? Oh, really? That's good to know, little one. This is your lucky day then!," The guy said, pulling you further into the cave, away from the deadly rain. Another man immediately joined him.

"You see, little one, we haven't had a woman in some time. You could be useful, I wonder what ya hiding under these clothes," Other man said, easily opening your jacket.

"We will have some fun and we will kill you after."

"No, please don't...," You breath hitched and you turned your head aside when one of the men tried to kiss you. You tried to reach your backpack that was still attached to your back to pull your handy knife out.

Higgs appeared in the cave out of nowhere as always. He easily found the missing box and went to find the two men who worked for him. "The fuck you two are doing? Is it really so hard to find a damn thing?!," He roared at two men who immediately stepped away from you. Higgs frowned looking at the additional person. "Seriously? You are busy with a girl but not with the task you had to perform?," He growled, throwing the box at one of the men. "Take it to the camp, pronto."

When both men scrambled away in fear of their leader, Higgs offered you a brief grin. "Ah! They ran like cowards which they are but they are kinda useful. Who do we have here?," He asked, grabbing your chin to take a look at your face.

You held your breath back but let him grab your chick. "I didn't do anything, sir... I just sheltered from rain when they...," You went quiet. "Don't kill me... Don't kill me, please," you closed your eyes shut.

"I will break those fuckers’ necks for not letting me know they found you here, girl. Despite you aren't the bomb we looked for, they should have fucking let me know," Higgs growled checking your face. "You look healthy, pretty even. How about I give you a shelter, huh? What do you say for that?"

You swallowed hard and quickly nodded. "Would you be so kind to shelter me? But... How will I repay?," You asked hesitantly. "I don't have much. Everything is in my backpack," quickly pulling stripes of the backpack off you handled it to him.

Higgs took your backpack and shook it a little, it was really light what meant you didn't own a lot. He was getting more and more curious about what's your story, how a creature like you ended up in the middle of nowhere with nothing. "Nah, we will see what we can do about it, girl. Now, c'mon, you don't want to end up outside, right? Let's get you to a dry place," he shrugged, tossing the backpack to you.

You grabbed it and pressed to your chest, nodding. "Promise you won't hurt me," you asked with a shaking voice.

Higgs chuckled and bowed in front of you. "Crossin’ on my heart, if I have one," he shrugged and pulled you closer. In the blink of an eye, both of you were in some kind of a camp, in one of the tents. "Welcome to my camp. Make yourself at home, girl," Higgs almost sang, moving away from you. "This place will be safe for you as long as I say so."

You sank to your knees. You didn't know how in a blink of an eye you found yourself in another place, in a huge tent filled with maps, documents and other things. You gagged yourself, you almost vomited and your head spinned around. "How...?," You whispered, trying to cool down.

Higgs sighed and rolled his eyes, looking at your pathetic state. "You know, it would be fucking amazing if you would be kind enough to not fucking vomit all over my floor," he slowly pulled you up. "Breathe, girl, I didn't bring you here so you die on me."

You nodded, still pressing the backpack to your chest. "I'm sorry....I just... It made me dizzy. I'm sorry," you whispered and thanked him for helping you back on your feet.

He patted your cheek with a grin on his lips. "Atta girl, ya see? It's not that hard. You don't need to keep that so close," Higgs took the backpack from you, using just a little bit of force. He placed it next to the cot. "I need to go now. You can rest and try to not die here, just in case."

You gave him a nod. As soon as he vanished leaving a little cloud of dust, you took a closer look around the place you found yourself into.

The whole place was flooded with the light coming from a lamp hung from the ceiling. You walked closer to a board on which you found some handwritten notes about Bridges and Fragile companies. Only then you started realizing that you found yourself in a very wrong place, which triggered another shiver.

To warm yourself up, you rubbed your shoulders and palms. Indeed, you weren't exposed to the deadly rain so in that matter you felt slightly better but still you kept in mind what his comrades had wanted to do to you.

Not knowing what to do, you sat in the corner of the tent, once again pulling knees under your shaking chin. You peeked outside and sighed sadly noticing the rain was even stronger than before.

Higgs returned to you as soon as he was done with his other shady businesses. He didn't really expect to see you, half asleep, sitting in the corner with knees pulled to your chin. "You know, I work with many idiots but I hoped for you to be the smart one here, girl," Higgs said simply, taking a seat on the desk. "So, sweetheart. Not to be nosy and all that shit but why the fuck were you there? All alone? In such a place? And what's your name anyway?"

As he woke you up, you rubbed your eyes briefly. "I...," You whispered and got up. Rubbing your shoulder, you swallowed and nodded. "I don't remember how I got outside. I can't remember anything before the moment I woke up on the grass. And... My name's Y/N."

"Well, that's fucked up," Higgs summed up, laughing at the short story and answer, then he grabbed your backpack and simply opened it to dig through your belongings. Soon he pulled out the lace panties. "Oh, you are a noughty girl, aren't you? That's fucking cute," he said with a mocking laughter.

You observed him with wide opened eyes, huge blush crept into your cheeks as you watched him playing with your panties. "You shouldn't be touching them... It's my property...," You instructed him.

"Like I would fucking care what your property is. You are in my domain, sweetheart. I wonder how would you look in these," Higgs giggled and continued to dig in your backpack.

You turned your head aside and looked outside; it was still raining. "You're Higgs Monaghan, am I right? I heard some people talking about you."

"That's me, in flesh and bones," Higgs nodded, looking at your bra before stuffing it back inside the backpack. "And you are Y/N. Girl out of nowhere. Now I think what the fuck am I going to do with you. It's not like you are some kind of killing machine and I am not keen on keeping useless people around. At least you have a pretty face."

"T-thank you...," You whispered and walked to him to get your backpack. "I know how to hunt... At least I feel like this."

"So? I don't need a huntress. I don't really need you around at all, honestly." Higgs shrugged. "But you are a pretty face, it's fucking nice to have someone like you around but you can be sure you will get stuff to do to repay for my generosity."

You didn't know how many days had passed by but you had a feeling it was more than a week or two.

You still didn't get used to the fact you were stuck with those people, with more of them giving you nasty glances as soon as you were leaving the tent of Higgs. You were doing your best to ignore all kinds of taunts. Focusing on sketching all the things you saw around, you were spending all day in the nearest forest.

The whole group had mixed feelings about you.

Higgs brought you here, for no reason actually. You just wandered around, doing nothing when others worked their asses off in one way or another.

"Hey kitten! Maybe you would come here and be useful for once! You don't need to be only Higgs' cum sack!," Someone yelled and a few other people laughed loudly. It was normal for others to bother you on a daily basis.

You were passing them with your notebook and pencil in your hands. The last thing you'd wanted was to get in any kind of argument with these people but the comment drove you mad.

Stopping your steps you pushed your hip forward and placed your hand on it, looking directly at the man who dropped the comment. "Oh? Are you talking to me?," You asked the measuring dude with a cold glance from bottom to the top. "I'd even consider this but... Looking at the small bulge in your pants," you tapped your lip with a finger, "I'll pass."

"Well, she is not wrong!," Someone added and everyone laughed. 

"Would you look at that! Our girl finally grew some fucking balls! Finally! Some more time and you will be almost as nasty as I am." Hands were placed on your shoulders, it was no one else but Higgs himself. He looked at everyone in front of you giving them a silent warning to simply return to their duties. "Don't mind those fucker, they have never seen a woman for that long before," the leader hummed, petting your hair like you would be his favorite.

You almost purred into his touch. All the rare moments where he was showing you his attention were making you happy and more confident. "I know I am rather useless," you told him as you moved forward, "But it was me who noticed the porter convoy a few days prior," you reminded him; you tried to manifest that in some moments you were being useful.

"Oh, you sure did, sugar. That’s my girl," he said, randomly resting his chin on the top of your head. Higgs stood with you like this until he realized you were holding a notebook. He quickly grabbed it to take a look. "And what do we have here, huh? Do we have an artist in the camp?"

When he placed his chin on top of your head, you blinked and giggled. As he took your notebook out of your palms, you desperately tried to get it back. "Don't look! It's mine!," You growled looking at his skilled fingers that were moving pages. When his eyes stopped at one point, you came up to the conclusion he found the drawing of him.

Higgs looked at drawing, trying to remember the moment you could even draw it.

"I am an ulgy bastard. I fucking love it! We have a fucking talent among us, I need to say," he tapped the page. "Flatters me."

You smiled lightly and ran with your glance to a group of other men who were staring at the situation.

"The fuck y’all are looking at? Jealous that I get the lady's attention? Get your asses to work," Higgs barked out at everyone. "I swear, you are the only decent person here," Higgs mumbled, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

You glanced back at him; you hated the fact he was always wearing the hood on. Due to this, you weren't ever able to finish your drawing and deep inside you bet he was a handsome man.

You managed to slip the notebook out of his hands. "Hope to see you later," you smiled at him briefly and walked a few steps away. "I'm going to try to help your people around but I swear, none of them will try anything, I'll break their noses." After these words you walked off.

Higgs made a few big steps and after reaching you with ease, grabbed your arm tightly. He shook his head, clicking his tongue with a smile. "Nah, you aren't going anywhere now, sugar. I need to talk with you," Without even listening to any of your complaints Higgs simply forced you to go to his tent with him. He set you in the middle. "You think I am blind, girl?" Higgs almost growled, walking around you in circles.

As surprised and stressed you were, you shook your head in response. "What? I don't understand. I'm not doing anything. I'm not bothering. I'm grateful you let me stay around here, sheltering me," you said firmly, observing him circling around you.

"Oh yeah, yeah, you are grateful," Higgs said, placing hands on his back with a little shrug. He could see how much you tried to get his attention, in one way or another. It was honestly interesting in some way. "Just walking around, trying to do things, drawing me. Ya know, I made up my mind. Time to pay for being here has come."

Blinking in disbelief at his sudden outburst you turned to see him. "I don't understand what you are talking about," you told him with a shrug of your shoulders. "One word and I'll be gone, as soon as I appeared," you assured him while coming up with imagined ways he would want you to pay for his hospitality.

Higgs laughed loudly and stopped to look at you. "You? Gone? And where will you go? Girl with no past nor future, the one that begged me to help her. You want me to believe that you will endanger yourself by going right into BTs or timefall? Don't make me laugh, girl. So? I am waiting to hear your offer," he said, sitting down on the desk. Higgs was ready to see how much you were capable of doing to stay here with him, maybe after all you could be useful in some way. For him at least.

You put your notebook in a little locker and tapped your lips with fingers trying to come up with ideas he was thinking about. "I have no idea. Enlighten me, Higgs," you asked in the end and shivered as you heard timefall starting to pour down. "I don't know what you're expecting me to do," you added quickly. "All I can do is to not pack my ass in any unnecessary troubles which I find very useful for you and your men."

Higgs thought, scratching his bearded cheek. Oh, he got a fucking perfect idea. You could do it or get soaked outside. He gave you one of his wicked smiles and removed the hood from his head. "Undress if ya wanna stay here. We'll have some fun, sugar," Higgs explained, moving closer to you. "Unless you want to get to know BTs personally or get a bit wet and I do not mean down there," he glared at the place between your legs.

You listened to his offer and glared right into his eyes.

As he took the hood off, you came to the conclusion he indeed was a very handsome man. And that in other circumstances you would probably happily flirt with him or maybe even get into a fling.

You swallowed yet took a step forward to him. Climbing in tiptoes you wrapped arms around his neck and placed a kiss to his bearded cheek; you felt a sudden outburst of courage. "Your proposition is pretty interesting yet from these two options I am picking the timefall."

You looked him deeply in his blue eyes and then you turned to grab your backpack.

Higgs nodded. "Fine." He took the zipper of your suit and opened it up, pulling it off of your shoulder, revealing nothing more than a thin tank top. After grabbing you by the arm he started to drag you in an unknown direction. He forced you to walk with him until the two of you were almost outside the whole camp, under the last bit of the roof over your heads.

It started to rain heavily in a second.

"If you are so sure of your choice, go on. I will gladly watch,” Higgs growled, pushing your shoulder gently. "You obey or you die. It’s up to you.”

You were standing like paralyzed.

Few drops of timefall bounced back from the ground and fell on your leg still covered in a skintight suit, leaving greyish stains of where the material got older within the blink of an eye.

You swallowed. "I obey," you whispered, barely moving your lips. "I'll obey."

Higgs smiled. Of course, you would obey. Everyone obeys him so there could be no other outcome for you either. "You see? It wasn't that hard sugar, was it?," He purred right into your ear.

After this, he took you back to his tent. "So, what will you do now? Will you follow my fucking order?," He asked and crossed arms over his chest, waiting for you to do your thing. This all was getting interesting.

As you agreed to obey, you gave him a brief nod and very reluctantly stripped down to your underwear and tank top you were wearing. "Happy now?," You asked him, your brow raised.

He watched the show with a smirk playing on his lips. You were hella pretty, he had to give it to you. In a few quick steps, he approached you, wrapping arms around your waist "Oh, sugar, yes. Very fucking happy. You have no idea how," Higgs purred deeply before crushing his lips against yours in a messy, deep kiss, forcing his tongue past your lips without any permission.

He almost flipped over with you and you did your best to balance your bodies in a stable position. The kiss was too unexpected and messy and when he was kissing you, your eyes were widely opened as you were trying to process what was going on. "Wait, wait," you mumbled as you managed to finally cup his face in your palms. "Easy. Easy. Don't attack me like a starving dog," you instructed him.

Next thing you did was slip your hand into his hair and pull on them lightly, kissing his beautiful lips gently as you climbed on tiptoes.

"Atta girl," Higgs murmured against your lips before kissing you back.

Soon, he picked you up with one arm to move you on the cot. He didn't like it but it was still better than fucking you on the floor. Higgs pulled away right after placing you down, then moved to your neck, placing a few kisses there. After that, he moved down your body, tracing his way with the tip of his tongue.

"Let's see what you hide there, sugar," He hummed once he reached the hem of your tank top, without much of a talking he swiftly pulled it off of you.

You moved your upper body in an attempt to help him with your clothing. Higgs tossed your top aside and in the first second all you wanted to do was to cover your breasts by crossing arms over your chest but he stopped you.

You were too scared to let out a single word so you only watched his actions. His cot was pretty uncomfortable though. "What are you going to do?," You asked simply, your eyes fixed on his.

"Don't hide these beauties, sugar," he winked at you before wrapping his lips around one of your nipples, swirling his tongue around it and sucking it for a moment before turning his attention to the other one to give it the same treatment.

Higgs pulled away to look at you with a smile after a longer moment.

"What do you think? I will fuck this hopefully nice, sweet pussy hard," Higgs explained proudly and used his teeth to slowly remove your panties, pulling on them.

As much as you enjoyed his lips wrapped around your nipples and as many nice feelings it'd brought to you, you couldn't help but shivered hearing him saying the word "fuck". You slightly raised your hips to help him get rid of your panties. As you were looking down at him, you tapped his shoulder that was still wrapped around your waist. "Higgs? Uhm... I think there'll be a... I mean, well, there's a problem with that plan of yours."

Higgs growled annoyed and looked up. "What problem?" He observed you and saw a slight hint of fear and nerves in your eyes. Higgs quickly realized what did you mean, he chuckled lowly and shook his head in pure disbelief. "Oh sugar, my sweet little Y/N. Are ya still a virgin, am I right?"

Your eyes widened when he used that one particular word, the blush hit your face and you turned read so instead of answering, you moved slightly to reach for his coat that was laying on the floor. You picked it up and covered your face with the material, at the same inhaling Higgs' scent.

Yet after a moment you pulled the cape down your face so only your eyes were visible. "Yes. I haven't had... I mean, you know what I mean, holy Lord. You'd be the first one... I want to go home... I'm truly useless."

He raised the cape enough to put his head under it as well, bumping his nose into yours with a little smile. "You aren't useless, sugar. You are young, pretty, innocent. I hate to rip it off of you but it's time to learn a new thing and I will gladly help you with that. Will you let me?" Higgs was fucking surprised with this sudden wave of concern he felt when you confirmed what he thought. 

You giggled when he bumped your nose. "I... I'm so scared...," You claimed openly. "I don't want to... I... What if I'll let you down... I don't want to disappoint you..."

The truth was you weren't keen on the idea of losing your virginity in such a place, in such a circumstance, but somehow you were pulled to Higgs. He was magnetising and you realized you lost your head for him the day he rescued you from his nasty men.

"I will take care of you, guide you and you never disappointed me, today you won't as well. Do you trust me?," He whispered his question.

You smiled a little bit too sadly. "Do I have other choices though?" You swallowed some moments later and nodded. "I trust you."

Higgs chuckled and kissed you deeply before moving down to settle between your legs, he grabbed your flesh and placed your legs on his shoulders. "I won't break that trust. Just relax," man instructed you before diving between your legs to wrap his mouth around your clit, sucking it gently.

Soon he pulled away to spit on your entrance and slowly pushed two of his fingers into you while his lips returned to your already swollen clitoris.

When his bearded face found its place between your legs, you let out a loud moan. Despite the fact it all was so wrong, it felt right as fuck.

A strange feeling started building within you, a kind of a knot in your abdomen. You let him do whatever he wanted until his slender fingers slipped into your pussy. You gasped and in the first attempt you tried to roll your hips backward to get away from.the touch but he held you in place. It took you a moment to relax and enjoy his actions one again while humming like a little kitten, your eyes fixed on him.

Higgs locked eyes with yours, eating you out. He closed his eyes with a satisfied hum while his fingers were moving in and out of you. After a long moment, he pulled away. "As much as I love the sweetness of your pussy already, I won't let you cum just yet." He chuckled at your expression which was a mix of newly-found pleasure and fear. "No need to be scared," humming, he started to undress, revealing his body and more tattoos. "Hope you like what you see."

You observed him carefully, your heart was pounding in your chest like an animal locked in a cage.

In a courage outburst, you shifted in your place and knelt in front of him, wrapping arms around his neck and kissing him deeply.

Despite the fact you knew your behavior was pretty odd and you probably would be taken as a whore, you didn't care.

Higgs kissed you back, loving the fact you got so eager all of the sudden. "That's the spirit, sugar. You are such a good girl, my favorite,” he whispered against your lips, gently placing you back in the previous position on the cot to take place between your legs. "You are fucking beautiful," he muttered looking at your naked form. "I am not so bad myself, what do you think?"

You rested your body on elbows and gave him a smug smirk. "Seems you're pretty decent. But, of course, you look scary. But I find you a very handsome man."

"Of course I look fucking scary. I am the scariest motherfucker around. You flatter me with your words. Now we will take care of that tight hole of yours, you gonna love it," Higgs growled, pushing his hips against yours to let you feel him.

"O-oooohhh," you let out a moan yet instantly bit your lower lip. "But... Maybe, maybe let's just pass?," You suggested looking down his body at his already erected member. You pressed your thighs together, closing the way to your pussy. "I'm not sure..."

"Oh, sugar. No need to fear me, I won't hurt you that hard and I can assure you that you'll fucking love it and beg me for more," he assured spreading your legs and wrapping them around his waist.

You licked your lips and smiled at him as he wrapped your legs around his hips. You looked him in the eyes. "Can I get a kiss?," You mumbled quietly, trying to do your best to distract him from the main thing. "Promise me it won't hurt. Promise?"

"It will hurt, it's natural but I got you," Higgs promised and wrapped an arm around your waist to keep you as close as it was possible. He positioned himself at your entrance and started to push in, pulling you into another deep, messy kiss only to distract you from the pain and discomfort. Halfway in, he pulled away from the kiss and growled deeply. "Fuck, you are fucking tighter than I expected. I fucking love it, Y/N. You are fucking amazing!"

The pain was sharp and burning, you felt like your guts would be tearing apart. You realized that you stopped breathing with your eyes fixed on his face; when he stopped kissing you and growled, you let out a loud cry mixed with a moan. But shortly after, when he pushed his entire length in, you screamed loudly and tried to muffle your voice by gently biting his arm. "It hurts...," You mumbled. "It hurts. I can't."

"Sure you can. You are my brave girl and you are doing just fine," Higgs praised you, gently rubbing your belly. "Relax and it will be much better. I promise."

You nuzzled to his bare chest, your eyes closed shut as he started pounding harder in you. You dared to look down your body and gasped when you noticed how Higgs' cock was moving in you, a visible bulge was forming in your abdomen.

Soon, you rolled your head back putting it into his cot and clenching his coat with your free hand.

Higgs grabbed your hips and pounded in you even harder, setting the fast and brutal pace since you relaxed around his shaft.

"Just look how nicely it goes in and out. You take it so well, Y/N. I am so fucking proud now. More than I’ve ever been. Be a good girl and cum," he ordered as his hand found your clit to rub it harshly. 

"Oh-ohh!," You moaned and parted lips, enjoying the way he was kissing your neck and collarbone. You felt how huge he grew inside of you. "Can I... Would you... Can we try something else before I cum?," You whispered, kissing his arm.

Higgs growled annoyed and looked at you. "What is it?," He asked with a frown, his hips didn't stop moving.

You wrapped arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing his cheek and neck, until you reached his ear. "Harder," you whispered directly into Higgs' ear.

Higgs laughed and placed both arms on the opposite sides of your head, bracing himself to start pounding at you without holding back as he did previously. "As you wish," Monaghan purred happily before fulfilling your wish by fucking you hardly. The cot was squeaking under your weights.

You rolled your head back, grasping one of his forearms to support yourself. The pain vanished almost completely, the only feeling overwhelming you was a pure pleasure and desire. You improved your legs on his hips and were moaning for him. As you barely could take him, a single tear streamed down your cheek, but it wasn't a tear of sadness. "I... Oh-oh!," You mumbled as he throbbed inside of you. "I think I'm cuming," you grunted and at the same moment your legs started shaking. Your walls clenched tightly around his cock still buried in you and you screamed his name.

Higgs smiled and laughed softly, seeing you falling apart under him, it simply was more satisfying than he expected "Atta girl, you see? You made this, I bet the whole camp heard your screaming my name," he purred, licking the trail up your neck. He let out a loud groan as well as he was near his own peak. Higgs parted lips and his hips got all sloppy. After a few more thrusts he pulled out to cum all over your belly.. Trying to catch his breath, he smirked wryly at you. "Fuck, I am fucking exhausted. What have ya done to me, doll?"

When Higgs pulled out of you, you gasped sadly for the loss of contact. Blushing hard as he simply cum on your naked body, you ran hand through your messy hair and sighed. Tip of your tongue ran along your upper lip as you watched him taking place by your side on the cot.

You rolled quickly on your side and placed your head to his chest. You didn't care whether he'd push you away; all you'd wanted was him to hold you close just even for a moment.

He patted your hair and sighed. "You know? I still wonder how the fuck did you end up in that cave. It's so mindfucking that I cannot find a rational answer," Higgs said randomly as he rubbed his chin.

You hugged him seeking any kind of comforting. "I don't remember how I got there, I told you," you reminded him.

Listening to his heartbeat was reassuring.

He nodded. "I remember. That's why it bothers me that much. After all, who would throw such a nice girl with such a sweet pussy out though?," Higgs teased you, hugging you back. For some reason, it felt so fucking good to just hold you within his arms and keep you close. The simple fact you were near him and that you obviously were claimed as his made him happy.

"Whoever did was probably a bad person though," you claimed and dared to trail your fingertips up and down his abdomen, along his happy trail. "Or maybe I did something to be left outside? Who knows. I think we won't find the truth."

His warmth was a blessing and you wished this moment would last forever.

"What's going to be with me now?," You asked him while moving your head up to have a peek into his beautiful, blue eyes. "You've gotten what you'd wanted so you can send me away now. I am not needed anymore."

Higgs thought, looking blankly at the ceiling. Technically, you were right; you didn't have any important position among the camp. You just were. He could kick you out and be done with it all but Higgs didn't want to do this. He just wanted your presence, it all would feel wrong without you around.

Higgs reached over and grabbed his cape you used to cover your face. He wrapped you in it as much as he only could than he hugged you really tightly, pulling you close to his chest. "No, you stay here. By my side. Till the fucking end," Higgs said nuzzling to your hair. This was what he wanted; just to be with you. Somehow he came up to one obvious conclusion - he was falling in fucking love. Was it even possible?

You raised your upper body part to have a good look on his face. "You mean it? I stay here? You won't send me away?," You questioned and as he gave you a slight nod, you hugged him. "Thank you! I promise I won't let you down. I promise I'll be behaving. I promise I'll be useful," after assuring him you placed a tender kiss to his beautifully carved lips.

Higgs kissed you back with a hum. "Just stay by my side and this will be the best work for you."

You smiled a little. "Say it."

He looked down at you with a frown. ‘’Say what?"

"That you're attracted to me," you smirked wryly at him. "And that is the reason you want me around."

He rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yes, I am so fucking attracted to you that I want to keep your around so I can fuck that tight, little hole of yours whenever I want," Higgs claimed proudly.

You kissed his lips briefly before getting up from the cot. "Thank you for confirming the fact I knew since the moment you offered me sex or dying in a timefall," you smiled at him as you were getting dressed. "And well, we'll see whether I'll let you fuck me one more time or not," you winked at him.

Higgs laughed loudly and nodded, stretching on the cot freely, not caring that he was naked. "You'll fucking beg for this, sugar. I still need to teach you a lot about sex."

You fixed your hair and took a look at his naked body. "You're hot, you know this but your mouth is so filthy, I love that," you winked at him. Slowly zipping your suit, you gave him the last glare. "Better get dressed. It's cold and your cock seems to hate it."

~WHEN THE PARTICLE OF GOD PERMEATES YOU~ || Part II

P̵̪̃ȁ̸̩ȓ̸̜ẗ̶͇́ ̴̓͜1̷̺̽

Summary: Without the past you can't understand the present. You meet Higgs Monaghan on your way. Will he help you find out about your past or will he try to use you for his own purposes?

Warnings: None

Words: 3299

Authors: Cass & Rouge

Days had been passing, and the situation remained unchanged.

You were lurking throughout the camp trying to be as productive as it was only possible, however you didn't have many occasions to help in anything as the others were pushing you aside. You weren't surprised though; you were a newcomer, without a purpose or any special skills, and you quickly became Higgs' favourite, which most of his men didn't approve.

Sometimes, it's enough to survive another day, right?, you'd been thinking to yourself.

"Would you look at that? Our little star is doing nothing as always. Why don't you go and be useful? Sucking Higgs off ain't enough here," one of men said grabbing your shoulder. "Why is he even keeping you here?"

Meanwhile Higgs was away, sitting in his bunker. He was trying to come up with some logical theory of how you ended up where you did. How could this happen that you just woken up with no past? “I’ve got breaking news and it’s about you fucking off of me,” you showed your middle finger to the group of men, and in return your gained few chuckles and some more rambunctious comments. When Higgs was gone, they were making a lot of fun of you, always; you hated every minute in the camp without Man in The Golden Mask.

Meantime, Higgs hummed, studding the map and trying to find the place you could come out from. Bridges was the closest point but it made no fucking seans for them to just leave you out there to die.

After a few more minutes Higgs shrugged. "Ah, fuck it. Time to check upon my kittycat." And with that he was back in the camp as he teleported. After stretching his back he called you. "Y/N! Where is my favourite girl hiding?" You were almost outside the camp, sitting at one of the largest rocks, taking notes and sketching the mountains located on the north. You tried to escape from all of the mean glances and comments. “Hey, you,” one of the guards pointed his laser gun at you. “Higgs is seeking  you in the camp. Move your ass to him.” With a loud sigh escaping your lips you closed the sketchbook and pinned your hair in a ponytail. While walking back to the camp, you were thinking about your purpose, it was pretty frustrating that you didn’t remember anything even after such a long period of time.

Higgs waited with hands crossed on his chest. He gave you a wicked smile as soon as he noticed you approaching. “Ah! Here is my lady with no past. I was getting fucking worried you are gone."

“Me? Gone? I have nowhere to go,” you replied to him with disarming honesty. “Good to see you, you’ve been gone for a longer while...,” you hesitated after saying this as you knew he’ll assume you missed him. Thanks Beach he didn’t realize yet it was all true.

"My cute deflowered sweetheart missed me," Higgs chuckled softly with a wide smile, showing the line of white teeth. "I missed you too and I was away, indeed. I’ve been thinking from where you came and I may have an idea."

Hearing his words you tilted your head aside a little. “Tell me?,” you asked.

"Well, my little, sexy kitten might be Bridges' property. Am not sure yet but I sure will find out!," He said loudly and shrugged. "I even have an idea how I will do it."

While you were listening to his words, your thoughts drifted in some unknown way and when you gathered your attention, you gave him a brief nod. “I see.” A deep sigh left your parted lips as you glared up at him. “Hey, I’ve been wondering whether there's something I can do around the camp, I hate how others are making fun of me and the fact that my only purpose here is to warm your cock up,” you rubbed your temples. “I can do anything, bring packages, clean, whatever.”

He chuckled at your question. It was simply stupid. "You are here to be by my side. To be a good girl," Higgs said, gently touching your cheek. "Tell me who bothered you and I will take care of this." A shiver ran along your spine as he touched your cheek; his tenderness was light like a touch of butterfly wings yet his fingers seemed to burn marks on your face. “Forget about it,” you asked him quickly as you dared to put your palm on top of his.

Higgs laughed and grabbed your waist, pulling you as close as possible. "Listen I know you might have a soft heart but it's all about the example. So? Which of those fuckers did it?," He asked again.

You licked your lips and bit the lower one as you got stressed. “If you truly care for me, leave it. I can handle as I don’t care,” you asked him once again while wrapping arms around his chest and nuzzling your head to him.

He squezzed your waist and smiled. "Kitten. You forgot who I am. No one dares to hurt what's mine, even with stupid insults," Higgs summed up and gently pushed you aside to walk to the group of terrorits. He smiled softly looking at others. "Okay! Listen up, fuckers. Which one of you was brave enough to throw stupid words at my girl?"

“Oh my God,” you whispered under your breath as you realized what was happening. You followed him quickly and stood by his side, swallowing hardly while your sight slipped over all the gathered men.

“It was me,” one of them stepped ahead from the group, keeping his head produly up. “Listen, Higgs, we all know that you’re the most powerful of us but it’s fucking rude to be the only one who gets laid and who’s allowed to have a girl around. Most of us don’t like her presence as all she does is lurking around, no purpose, no skills,” the guy continued to speak. “Would be better if you sent her away or killed her. No one needs her around, except you. You’re not better than any of us.”

Higgs hummed listening to the complaints. Then he walked in the line, from left to right with his hands placed behind his back. "If I can be honest. She is more worthy than any of you here but…," he said slowly, rubbing his chin, "But you, bastards, you all are fucking lucky. IT'S YOUR LUCKY FUCKING DAY! Because instead of killing you all and leaving your bodies at Bridges doorsteps, I will fix what you all are complaining about," Higgs announced and looked at you.

You frowned a little at his words.

“So? Will you send her away?,” the man asked, his eyes and you.

Higgs wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling your tightly to his side.

"Oh, Y/N, Y/N... You see, these men here are mad at me because I gave you no duties," he let out a loud sigh, petting your hair. "So, from now on, this lovely lady here is my second in command! You insult her - you insult me and trust me fellas, you don't wanna do that. Thank you for the attention, get back to your fucking duties!," Higgs snorted at the men, kissing your cheek, and then walked away like nothing ever happened.

You almost fainted when he claimed you for his deputy. You felt the piercing glances of his men on you and you already knew it would bring even more troubles. After a second of thinking, you ran after him. “Higgs, I don’t think it’s a good idea, I have like… I mean… I’m not as charismatic as you, I can’t command people,” you tugged on his sleeve to stop him from walking. “They already hate me, now it will escalate,” you shook your head. “Let’s face the truth, I’m no one, I have no idea how to… You know.”

Higgs effortlessly picked you up. "If they will, then they will meet the friendly BTs. You are working with me now. Don't worry, I will handle everything."

To support yourself from falling, you instinctively wrapped legs around his hips and nuzzled to his chest. “Thank you, Higgs. You’re doing so much to me when I did so less in return. I have no idea how some people can call you a terrorist or a bad guy. I wish they could spend at least one day around you and I bet they’d agree with me on the fact you’re not only a great, fearless leader but also a charming, caring man.”

Higgs laughed. "I nuked two towns. I want to end the fucking world. No one else but you would like me, dear," he summed up before placing a soft kiss to your rosy lips.

When the evening came, Higgs was positive about his idea. He had to get into Bridges place and dig through their documents. If you’ve ever been one of them, your documents should be there.

"How do I look, my sexy second in command?," Higgs asked, presenting himself wrapped in an old Bridges uniform. "Let's not foeget about the fucking crown," he joked putting the Bridges hat on.

You two were in Higgs' tent. You were laying on your side on his cot resting head on your hand. "You look fucking handsome, as always," you informed him. "This uniform hugs your ass nicely though," you didn't stop yourself from adding. "Are you sure you won't be to assist you? I'm going to be sad while you'll be gone," you slowly sat on the cot.

" I will do it myself. This can't be hard, there is only one lady as sweet as you. I will find it quickly and before you’ll count to ten - I am going to be fucking back," Higgs said improving the belt. "After that, I will fuck you so hard that the whole camp will hear the second in commend screaming under the leader."

A soft chuckle of yours escaped your mouth as the reaction for his statement. "After your return, I'll just take care of you, make sure you eat and drink and later we will cuddle," you told him while getting up. "And if you'll be a good boy, I'll think of a prize." You walked to him and wrapped your arms around him. "Promise me you'll be careful and won't let them catch you."

 "Sweetheart. I feel so fucking hurt right now! I thought you have more faith in me," Higgs chuckled and squeezed your cheek playfully. "Don't make your sweet little face worried about it. They will never get me."

When he vanished you circled his tent a few times before taking a seat in the corner, just like you did the first day when he found you in the cave.

Getting inside was a child's play. Who would mind a porter wandering the corridors? Of course fucking no one.

The archives were a mix of papers and computer data. Going through the second thing was easy, yet your face didn't flash on any document, and it was fine.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe you weren't Bridges. That would be a fucking relief.

After an hour of digging through papers, Higgs was sitting on the floor with legs crossed. He was reading through one of the folders when the ones he read previously were scattered around him like snow.

The door to the archive slides open and Samuel Bridges stepped in; he had to pick some folders up to deliver them to Lake Knot City. He became suspicious when he spotted a mess and folders laying on the floor. As he stepped further into the long room, he found even more documents scattered everywhere. "You. Who are ya and what are ya doing here?," He asked, his tone cold as he spotted a man sitting in the middle of the room.

Higgs didn't raise his eyes until he was done with the folder he was holding in palms, after reading through it he simply threw it over his shoulder.

"Ah! Sammy boy! It's nice to see you again, sorry but I don't have time for a chit chat. I am looking for something," he shrugged, taking another folder into his hands.

 Sam cringed at the sound of the voice, too familiar. It couldn’t be a coincidence. "Higgs? What the fuck?," He asked in disbelief as he walked closer to the other man. "How did you... Ah, right. You jumped through the Beach," Sam replied himself. "Leave it," he pulled the folder out of Higgs' hands.

"You are a smart boy, ain't ya?," He laughed and in another folder he saw your photo.

"BINGO! Here you are, sweetheart!" Higgs said loudly and jumped back to his feet. "Tell me, Sammy boy, do you know anything about a particular porter? Her name is Y/N?"

Sam blinked, he was getting more confused with every second. "What's your problem, Higgs, have you fallen in love? Ah, right, it's hard to make connections when you don't have a heart," Sam grinned wryly at the other man. "Even if I know, I won't tell you, that's not your business since the day you and the tide has turned. Give it back," Sam yanked the hat off Higgs' head.

Higgs laughed and rolled his eyes, tucking your folder under his suit to make sure Sam won't get it. "Well! To your surprise I fell in love. Just like you. Well! But you’re not in love anymore. I bet that wife of yours was beautiful…," He mocked walking around Sam. "But she was blind for taking a chance on ya."

Sam reacted instantly with aiming his first at Higgs' cheek. "Apologize, you useless fucker, and give me the fucking folder back."

Higgs only laughed at the reaction. "Wife and unborn child. Such a shame, maybe that is why you are so sad and grumpy, and developed this phobia of yours," Higgs laughed playfully. "You know what? I like you, you can keep the cap. I have few from the old, good days. It was nice to see you again, Sammy boi!," Higgs licked the tip of Sam's nose before disappearing.

Sam tried to grab Higgs by his Bridges uniform but he didn't manage. Cursing under his breath he quickly left the archive without picking the folder he came there for; he had to inform Deadman about the situation.

You were dreaming about some crazy ass things like dolphins trying to pull you under water when Higgs returned. You were still sitting in the corner of his tent, knees pulled under your chin, your arms wrapped around them as you were rolled in a ball.

Before entering the tent, Higgs took a brief look at the info about you gathered in the folder he stole. He wasn't sure what to think. After entering the tent he looked at you and chuckled quietly, getting on your level by crouching.  Higgs brushed hair off of your forehead and placed a kiss there. "Ding ding, ding! Honey, I am home. Where is my promised dinner?"

You jolted in place, your muscles twitched and you almost screamed. You opened eyes and for a brief second they were getting used to the light of the lamp. When you saw him crouching next to you, you knelt and wrapped arms around his neck, pulling him into the tight hug. "Higgs! I dreamt they got you! I was so... Scared! You're back! Holy Beach, I was so scared." As you were hugging him he could easily feel the beat of your racing heart, even though your suit. "Let me bring you something. I tried to get you pizza but... I failed."

Higgs hugged you tightly, holding you with both arms. "Well, maybe it's because you slept on the floor. I didn't get these fancy pillows and blankets for nothing," he chuckled, rubbing your back. "It's okay, sugar. I will make Sam deliver us some. Look what I got," he said proudly, showing you the folder.

You shivered. "Is this... Is this mine?," You asked him as you sat on the floor. "Who am I then?," You made puppy eyes and looked right into his.

"You are a porter apparently. Ex now, technically. Good one," Higgs summed up. “Y/N. Working for Bridges for 5 years. Fast and careful with her deliveries, open for contacts with clients as well as fellow porters. Went missing in action. Y/N delivered the assigned package yet never made it back to any of the existing facilities. There were no voidouts that could mean her death. No body nor evidences were ever found. Investigation in that case brought nothing, so Y/N is presumed dead but there's still a slight chance of her being still alive. Signed by: Director Die-Hardman," Higgs ended reading the last note in your folder.

You nodded. "So... They're not looking for me... So, in this situation... I can be whoever I want because I think they wouldn't let me get back..."

"It's not that you are kicked out. I bet that as soon as you would get to any of their places, they would take care of you. They think you are dead but with a possibility of return," he explained. "Y/N? I need to ask you something."

You looked at him like a kid would look at the parent. "Yes?"

"Is this a hoax? I walked into Bridges without problem and then? I get fucking Sam Bridges into the archive. My people were doing their job and you come out of nowhere. You don't know who you are yet you cling to me so suddenly," he said with a frown. "Is this a trap? Did they send you to get inside? To get to me?"

You lowered your head. "Even if they did, I don't remember. I told you many times, I have no idea how I found myself outside, all alone, only with a backpack. I'm clingy because... I...," You started blushing so you got up to take a seat on his cot. "You showed me affection, you offered me your generosity, hospitality... You were kind when no one else was. You took care of me and kinda taught me how to survive in this shit."

Higgs joined you on the coat. "You promise me that the note, and your lack of memory isn't just a way to get to me?"

"I cross my heart," you assured him with a serious tone. "I don't care what you have done and why do they want to get to you but God's my witness I won't tell anyone about you." The fact he even could think about you being a spy hurt you much but you kept a straight face.

"I am sorry for accusing you for anything," Higgs whispered into your ear before pulling you on his lap. “Ya know, gotta be careful about some certain things.”

You nuzzled to the crook of his neck. "It's okay, I understand, I would be suspicious too if I were you."

Higgs smiled, playing with your hair. "My little porter," he said with a smile. "Only mine."

You inhaled his scent, the sweet mix of a masculine musk and warmth of his skin. You placed a kiss to his bearded cheek and brushed your against his shortly after. Your arms wrapped around his chest. "Thank you for all you've done to me, for keeping me safe."

"And I will keep on keeping you safe. Not a single fucking Bridges will ever lie a finger on you again. You will stay with me till the end of the world we know," Higgs said, squeezing you tightly.

A sad sigh escaped your lips. "Till the end."