Hiruzen You Gossip Whore Might Have Been The Best Line - Tumblr Posts

"I Think You Should Step Up And Call It Animal Abuse."

One of my favorite snippets from my 1st draft. Honestly, might rewrite it and work it into the new plot.

Background: Honestly, I think it's better without context. Guess I should let yall know Asumi is not black, but she is a colored. As in, she's the same color as Asuma and Hiruzen.

Rating: PG/E for everyone

Warning: None. Cute shit.

“That's fine, seeyouthenAsumi.” He jumped out the window. Oh dear, what has Asumi done to him? The door had been closer and yet he dove face-first out the building. Luckily, he is good at his job so he lands without a hair out of place.

Asumi and Hiruzen peer out the window at the retreating silver-haired figure. When he goes beyond their vision both Sarutobi turn and look at each other.

“So, anyway. Here is the response from the kazekage.” As much as Asumi wants to discuss what just happened, it's best to get work out the way first. Sadly her uncle didn’t get the memo.

“I’ve known Kakashi Hatake for a very long and I don't think I’ve ever seen him so..” the third trails off trying to find the right description.

“Flustered?”

“Hmm, that's not quite the word but yes, flustered.” Hiruzen leans back in his chair to look at his niece. A mischievous glint in her eye shone for a brief moment, immediately putting the Hokage in distress. The same look her mother had before doing something reckless, dear Kami help us.

“Well, anyways. The scroll.”

“Yes, yes put it here and go to the financial office for payment.”

“Sure thing, Uncle. Well, I guess-

“Oh no, no no, no. Sit down, young lady. We need to have a conversation about whatever is going on between you and Kakashi.” The noble and honorable third Hokage is just an old man that lives for gossip, Asumi thinks before plopping down in a chair that's not nearly as comfortable as the one her uncle sits in.

“UNCLE! There is nothing to talk about.”

“He jumped out the window, Asumi. I didn't get this old by ignoring changes in my village personnel.” Hiruzen speaks calmly while his niece groans loudly and twists around in her chair to show her discontent for this discussion.

“I’ve only interacted with him twice. And one was today on the way here.”

“The other?” Hiruzen, you gossip whore.

“I dropped off food for Naruto and his team was still there.” The faintest blush appears from this inquisition.

“Maybe I should ask Asuma what is-

“No, this is probably nothing. Kakashi hasn’t seen me for twelve years so he’s just surprised I'm competent enough to do my job.

“Stop interrupting me before I make you find that Tora cat for the next 3 weeks.” Hiruzen speaks absentmindedly, already devoting his mind to a plan to get the two young adults together. Asuma is with Kurenai even though his son would deny it to his grave. So, the lord Hokage ponders, it was time to find Asumi someone.

“At this point, I think you should step up and call it animal abuse.”

“Asumi-”

“Can I go now? I have a bottle of sake calling my name.” Two sets of brown eyes stare each other down before the third Hokage relents and waves his hand to send his niece off.

“We’ll continue this later.”

“Sure, sure. See ya!” Hiruzen watches her leave through the door and when it slams closed he sighs in relief. I’m too old for this shit.