Hookers And Blow - Tumblr Posts

Vault Hunter Flow

Shit, man, I’m shootin’ different.

This sorry ass shituationship started when I loaded titanium tipped overpacked powderkeg personnel carrier poppin’ penetrator class peashooter punching ordnance into my 25mm Magnum battle cannon.

Now I’m trading Shit Oil with space psychos outta the cursed canyons so I can take 20 shots from a Torgue weapon to the ass and still siddown in a chair good after I get my hundred grand I spent on hookers and sPACE BLOW, man.

I’m putting a chain saw onto my chainsaw on my battle rifle so I can cut shit even better to get riled up Rakk fumes into my lungs.

I’m smoking that Purloined Pandora Pirate’s Property pack. Shit so purple you’d think it was laced with Eridium via Energized Electrolysis.

Shit so gas it could fuel a raider’s ruckus rig till rain starts falling in the Droughts.

I let a skag bite me in the chest so I didn’t have to feel the fuckin’ flamethrowin’ sawblade launchers dig into my spine, causing irreparable damage to my nervous system.

They call it a new you cause they knew I’d never be like you cause I’m already him.

I shot a vault monster With a Jakobs from a jillion miles away like that nasty motherfucker was nothin’.

Fuck it, I looted the opp. Sold all of his gear to the nearest town, and they didn’t bother to bury his dumb ass.