How Do You Manage To Create Such Amazing And Intricate Worlds With Backstories Flying High For Literally EVERONE - Tumblr Posts

Somehow you manage to break me and heal me and then break me again…. And I’m going to say it… I think I like it 🫢

And how dare you make me ugly cry over Yoongi 😡 and then give me hope for Jimin 😫

Harbouring a Hyrbid - Part 4.5 Bonus chapter

It’s another flashback bonus chapter! Chapter five is almost done and should be ready for Friday, but until then I hope you enjoy this little something extra…. 2.7K words, warnings; mentions of death, angst, insecurities

“Yoongi…”

Jimin shoots upright like he’s been burnt, pulling the covers with him and uncovering your sleeping form. There’s virtually little light in the room but his stare is dead on your form as if you just poured ice cold water all over him. Who the hell was Yoongi?

You said that name too softly, almost like a sigh. Was he someone from work? Someone who had wormed his way into your heart? 

“My mate,” Jimin almost growls into the silent room, his sleepy affirmations heard by no one. 

You start to frown, slightly restless as if reacting to his words and rejecting them, or at that’s how Jimin perceived it. The sight breaks his heart, your unconscious speaking for you. He pouted hard into the darkness, fighting back unshed tears as his hands fist the bed sheets. You were his mate, you were supposed to be his. He knew it, he knew you loved him the way he loved you, but you were fighting it, and he was giving your stupid human brain time to figure it out. 

Did he give you too much time? What if you misread his patience? How could you not realise that Jimin was so in love with you? Or worse, what if you knew, but you didn’t reciprocate? You just passed his affection off as hybrid instinct and infatuation, as if he wasn’t human enough to love you like you wanted. 

His thoughts spiral in his half awake - half delirious mind, digging him into a hole. He yowls quietly, unable to help it, tears finally falling as he watches you dream of another man. 

“Yo-ngi,” you call out again, breathing his name into the silent air. “Do-t leave…”

Your frown harder, pressing your face into the pillow, your hands close to your chest as you start to feel the cold. And then you mumbled the words Jimin had been waiting to hear from you, but they’re not for him.

—

You slept through the night without waking up once, and yet you felt like you hadn’t slept at all. Your eyes are heavy, the sunlight in the room too bright for you to handle for a moment. Flashes of your nightmares try to penetrate through to your now conscious brain but you push them away before they spoiled the day, turning over to bury the sadness away by greeting your Hybrid, but the side he normally occupies is empty. 

You sit up, slightly confused by his absence… Jimin had his own room but he always found a way to sneak into yours. In fact you could confidently say he probably slept in that room all of a week before he decided your bed was warmer and cosier. 

A glance to the clock on the wall has your jaw dropping. It was already way past midday! Well that explained your groggy headache, you slept for far too long. But your normal alarm clock was nowhere to be seen. The feline always slept into the day, but on your rare days off he was up by the time the sun was, all to spend as much time with you as physically possible. It didn’t take a genius to figure out something was wrong. 

“Jimin?” 

There’s no response but you can hear the faint sound of the tv from the living space, climbing out of the bed to investigate. 

You watch him from the bedroom door, sitting on the couch staring at the screen of the tv but you knew he wasn’t taking any of it in. You knew all his senses, except his gaze, were focused on you, what your next move was going to be. No greeting, no acknowledgement, Did you do something? You sighed. 

Maybe you took rejecting his affectionate nature too far, the argument you both had last night coming back to you. You knew Jimin was sensitive and in need of attention but you always tried to keep an arms distance with certain things. You gave in where you could but some things were just too intimate, they were different in a human’s touch language. Hybrids were instinctually… open about physical skinship, but the meaning behind them did not translate the same way it would to a human. 

Jimin didn’t look at you like that, he didn’t want affection from you romantically, he was just touch starved and you were not going to take advantage of it or confuse him. You’re surprised he’s never questioned how erratic your heartbeat got when he got too close, but you guessed the same reason you never really questioned his actions either. He must think of it as normal human nature, he never interacted with anyone in this form other than you. 

The tense set of his jaw worries you that something more serious was going on, JImin’s silent treatments never lasted long, and they very very rarely ever happened on your day off. But before you could tackle whatever the issue was, you desperately needed to wash the sleep off your face, and then you would confront your grumpy hybrid. 

—

Nothing, he’s not uttered a word to you. It was like you didn’t even exist. Your heart was breaking so hard you’re sure he can hear it with the way his grey ears were twitching. 

“Jimin what did I do?” your previously demanding tone, now reduced to a sad whine. “Kitten are you seriously going to ignore me all day? Even though it’s the only day we have together for a whole week?”

Maybe you were playing dirty with his favourite nickname and the guilt trip, but you were desperate at this point! You don’t even think he’s had anything to eat. He now looks away from you completely, his eyes that were in the empty space in front of him, still feigning watching the tv, now turned towards the kitchen door, the opposite direction from where you sat. 

He’s biting his tongue, refusing to give in. It wasn’t fair, how could you behave like this with him when he knew you had someone else. Was he really not a man in front of you, did you regard him as some sort of pet? His Y/n, his human, were you really like the rest of them? Was he truly an abomination, an animal, to you?

“Jiminie please?” You wrap your arms around his, hugging it close while leaning into him, playing every card you had available. You hold back the sigh of relief that he doesn’t pull away, but he still doesn’t look at you. It wouldn’t worry you so much if there was actually a semblance of emotion on his face, but it's so blank it scares you. 

“Baby if you don’t tell me what I did, how can I apologise for it?” You ask, trying to hum cutely afterwards like they did on those Kdramas you were both obsessed with, the ones you should be watching now with snacks and cuddles like you had planned! Still no response, you could cry at this point, hell even your eyes watered letting you know that could be a reality soon. 

“Fine you don’t have to tell me, I’ll apologise anyway!” You try to catch his eyes, trying to be seen in his field of vision even just a little. “Jiminie I’m sorry, please forgive me, please?”

He sighs. The first actual sound you’ve heard from him all day. You don’t know whether to hold your breath or jump for joy. He finally looks at you, his expression still unreadable but it’s something, he’s giving you something. 

“I’m really really really sorry kitten,” you look up at him, trying to make your eyes as big as possible, pouting pathetically so he would give in. “Can I make it up to you with cuddles and a movie?”

He sighs again, but this time it sounds like he’s in pain, his head dropping low towards his lap. The action makes you pull away, scared you were making things worse, heart now shattered. What did you do? You fight the way your bottom lip trembles, telling yourself to hold it together until you got to the bottom of it all. 

“You don’t have to force yourself to spend time with me,” he grumbles through gritted teeth, as if it hurt to speak. His hands are clasped tightly together in front of him, his eyes on them.

“What?” You frown, shocked he would ever insinuate something so ridiculous. “Jimin-”

“If you want to spend it with him, you should,” he cuts you off, holding back his own tears, but he could feel the red rim around his eyes that would give his emotions away. 

“Wha-” you shake your head in disbelief, trying to make sense of his words. “Who?”

He doesn’t respond right away, but the despondent look in his eyes makes you place your hand on his, trying again. “Jiminie, who?”

“Yoongi.” 

He finally confronts you, turning to face you, watching your eyes go wide with shock and guilt. He tries not to look hurt, tries not to let his heart break with the thought of you loving someone else when you were here with him.

You look down, squeezing your eyes shut as if that would stop the flood of images flashing behind them. One name had you break down faster than anything else, it stripped you of all your defences, you can’t help but sob with the sudden pain pounding through your chest. It was Jimin’s turn to hold your hand as you whimpered, trying to get a hold of yourself but the more you tried the worse it got. He watches confused and shocked at the way you suddenly burst into tears, hating himself for ever making you cry like this. He should have kept his thoughts inside, he should have pretended nothing was wrong. 

He can’t take it, regret hits him hard as he takes you into his arms begging for your forgiveness, whispering words of apology into your hair as you bawled heart wrenchingly against him. 

—-

He’s scared to speak, scared it will set you off again. He had never seen you break down like that before, he never wanted to see it again. Did this Yoongi person hurt you? Is that why you reacted like that to a name? A hundred different questions and thoughts echoed through his mind in the long minutes of your crying, but he couldn’t voice them, not until you spoke first. 

You push away from him, still sniffing every now and then. He hesitates to let you go, eyes on your form begging you silently to look at him, to tell him he hadn’t crossed a line of no forgiveness. 

“Where did you hear that name?” you whispered hoarsely, your head tilting towards him but still refusing to meet his eyes. You both sat side by side now, his whole body turned towards you, all his attention on every single move you made. He tells himself to be thankful you were still close, still within reach. You hadn’t moved away too far, that must mean you didn’t hate him, right?

“You called for him in your sleep,” he says timidly, terrified you were going to start yelling at him, but you just nod. 

You look far away, trying to hide the way you were getting set off again, trying to take a deep breath to collect yourself. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything Y/n,” he says, wishing he never heard that name in the first place, his mind jumping to the worst worst conclusions. If someone hurt his mate… “I’m so sorry.”

You must hear the heart break in his voice, your hand reaches for his even though you can’t look at him yet. You look up at the ceiling instead, blinking back the tears. He holds your hand like it was a lifeline, bringing it to his lips to place a chaste kiss on the skin. There were a hundred ways he could say sorry, a hundred ways he wanted to comfort you and make it all go away. 

“Of all the hybrids I failed to save, one haunts me the most,” you confess, every word feeling like lead as it left your lips. You still don’t look at him, instead you look despondent, like you were somewhere else entirely, the haunting place you kept your thoughts buried. “In my heart I know with every single one of them I tried my hardest to help them, and I mourn their loss every day, but Y-yoongi- “

You hold back a choked sob, fighting it as it came out. Jimin shuffles closer, his head on your shoulder, letting you know he was there, it was okay if you continued or not. 

“It was my fault,” you tell him, voice thick and heavy. “I’m the reason he died, he didn’t need saving, he was surviving on his own but I’m the one that got him caught.”

“Y/-“

“I was selfish, I wasn’t careful enough,” you explained, “he was the only one that understood me, the only one I could confide in, he was my best friend. And a part of me knew it wasn’t safe, but we were teenagers and I was so stupid…

He was my first love, I didn’t want to let him go.”

Jimin’s silent as you spoke of the weight you could barely manage to carry. It didn’t feel lighter now you confessed it, the same grief you had as an adolescent hit you just as hard.

“I never even got to tell him…”

He cradles your face, wanting you to look at him when he spoke, but your eyes avoid him.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he tries to reassure you, wanting you to feel his words. “You were young, you didn’t do anything wrong Y/n.”

You shake your head, not believing him for a second. He didn’t know the whole story, he didn’t know who your parents were.

“You always say it to me Y/n,” he kisses your forehead, wanting so badly to bring you some sense of comfort, hating that his human looked so hurt. “The world is wrong, not us, not the hybrid or the human harbouring one.”

You were always so strong for him, and he made it all crash and burn in a second. You hid so much pain from him, but always asked him to share his. Now he wanted to be someone you could lean on too, the way he did you. 

You look up at Jimin with watering eyes, his palms still caressing your face, he tries to smile for you but his eyes water too. Your tears fall, another agonising guilt tearing through you as you take him in. You could never tell him you feared you were falling in love with him. Most would take the lesson of your loss as proof to let the ones you love know, you don’t know what tragedy would strike tomorrow. But that’s not how your brain interpreted it, Yoongi was taken from you because of your selfishness, you would never let yourself be that way again. It cost him his life, and you would never ever let the same happen to Jimin.

Jimin trusted you, and you were already betraying him by omitting the truth about your parents, but having these feelings you could never show or admit to, not even to yourself. Yoongi’s accusing eyes haunted your dreams every now and then, more so now, the closer you got to the feline hybrid your heart was trying to replace him with. But how do you explain to a ghost that that wasn’t the truth, you still loved him the way you did back then, still carried him with you through the years. Jimin brought you a sense of safety, a sense of home, you thought you were finally healing, finally earning forgiveness for your failures, but maybe you were wrong. You were still as selfish now as you were then, you were just pretending otherwise.

You pull his hands away from your cheeks recognising the flash of panic in his eyes before you wrap your arms around his middle. You sniffle, face pressed against chest, closing your eyes as you listen to the steady drum of his heart beat. He holds you back, tail wrapping around whatever part of you it could, taking the moment to let your confession really sink in.

You loved and lost a hybrid before him… His heart tore in two for you, but in the back of his mind, he felt himself hope a little, that maybe one day you would heal. Maybe one day, if he was lucky, you would love him like that too. 

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