I Am On The Edge Of My Seat - Tumblr Posts
REFLECTION | Chapter 5 (Finale Pt.1)
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1+1=1 (Part 1 of Series Finale) 📜8k | Approx. 34-min read 🚨Refer to series masterlist for general themes & warnings of this story: May contain factual inaccuracies (it's fiction, just play along), emotional turmoil, themes of jealousy and possessiveness, perversion tendencies (somnophilia, lingerie...), oral sex, anal sex, unprotected sex, cumplay, creampie. 💭Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!
Little things matter much more than you think. They make all the difference in the world. Remove one letter from a word, and the meaning changes completely.
Like how the only difference between painting and panting is the letter I.
You and I.
You thought you had it all figured out. You thought you had seen it all and done it all when it came to sex. At its core, it was a simple act consisting of rhythmic motions to get organically high. To blast your brain with massive amounts of dopamine like fucking electroshock therapy just so you could temporarily forget the mundaneness of life. A very cheap thrill that could be found at every corner.
It didn’t matter who the other person was. It never did. They came in different shapes and sizes, but everybody you had ever bedded was essentially the same.
The guy based his performance evaluation solely on his size as if the more inches he packed, it automatically meant he was the shit and he would please better. He thought he either needed a big dick or some tricks up his sleeve to make someone cum, but never both. That additional effort would make him look needy. Everybody wanted someone with confidence after all—a man who could make a girl scream just by doing the bare minimum, right?
Yeah, right.
The girl thought her desirability was determined by her slim waist, firm breasts, juicy ass, and the nonexistence of body hair. She thought having smooth skin and a low body fat percentage was what defined beauty. Everybody was lusting after her, and she picked you to eat her tight pussy. Did you know how many people would kill to finger her? She was doing you a huge favor, so consider yourself lucky maybe. Obviously, she wouldn’t have to do anything else besides just lying there and spreading her legs for you, right?
Yeah, right.
They came in different moans and positions, but everybody you had ever bedded was essentially the same. They were just after feeling good about themselves. Using strangers as a proxy to feel like they mattered. It was nothing more than knock-off therapy. At its core, sex was just a currency. It was a simple act of borrowing someone’s bodily fluids in exchange for proof of self-worth.
And you were getting tired of it all.
You had seen it all and done it all. Nothing could surprise you anymore.
Yet you lived to see the day you breached the premises of some uncharted territory.
Exploring Hyunjin’s turn ons was much like reading a gripping suspense novel. In the opening sequence, you would have this false sense of uneventfulness, maybe one little intriguing moment in the passing, but that was it. Then all of a sudden, BAM! Shock value.
He was always incredibly passionate in bed, but with time, you started noticing the little changes. How he was gradually feeling safer and safer with you to do certain things, say certain things to truly enjoy himself while enjoying you. You were his biggest enabler to let loose.
And once he did, having sex with Hyunjin became nothing short of a religious experience.
“Tell me the filthiest things you want us to do to each other, baby.”
I want you.
“You’re drooling. You can’t take all of me in your mouth, can you?”
I want you.
“Your face is so pleasing to look at, pretty.”
“Then why don’t you fucking cum on it?”
I want you.
You had never been one to shy away from being vocal about what you liked, but when it was with Hyunjin, everything hit you tenfold more intensely. If you so much as insinuated that you wanted ice cream, he would bring you the entire goddamn truck. Whenever one of you craved the other, it was only a matter of seconds until you were infected with acute onset lust, and you just had to have each other right then and there. It didn’t matter where.
It never did.
One morning as he was going through his mail, Hyunjin noticed the invitation to the annual artist mixer event at the gallery, which he refused to attend every year. Why bother? It was a lot of people that he didn’t know, and it was going to be nothing but a source of a panic attack to be in that crowd. He never collaborated with anyone, nor did he have any intention of ever doing so.
But he felt like going this year. With your arm locked with his. Everyone was going to know he had somebody, and they were there to stay. He felt like showing off his muse. He wanted to watch people flinch with jealousy because you were his muse. You were inspiring him to paint his sickest, most twisted work ever. You were ridding him of unbearable burdens, and trying to do it by himself had always been a futile endeavor. He was forever going to be grateful for you solely for that alone. You made him want to become better.
For you.
“I’ll go mingle and see if I can network, okay? I’ll be right back, pretty.”
Words had a way of traveling fast—you were notorious for always being down to party, and you happened to know the rules of the game in this industry. Nevertheless, you had promised yourself that you weren’t going to do anything that could upset Hyunjin. You were used to people throwing themselves at you at events like this. It was always under the disguise of being friendly when in fact it was downright flirtatious if not a very obvious move to get in your pants.
What you were not used to, however, was people throwing themselves at Hyunjin. The second you left, for that matter.
You observed it from afar for some time. Hyunjin was clearly flustered by the apparent advances of some woman in a very tight dress accentuating her breasts, touching his arm and laughing hysterically at everything he said. She was probably a fan, or more like a ‘sophisticated’ groupie. You were overcome with this urge to highfive this bitch on the face with a chair, but you kept your composure with a very convincing smile and barged in on their conversation.
“I’m so sorry, but I need to steal him just for a second. I’ll return him back to you momentarily.”
“Don’t make me miss him too much,” the nameless woman replied with her predatory gaze still glued on Hyunjin’s perfect features.
You pulled him to some corner away from that woman’s peripheral vision and asked very nonchalantly.
“Having fun, pretty?”
“I’m– I’m so sorry. I– I tried telling them I wasn’t interes–”
“It’s okay,” you interrupted him with a crooked smile, “Flirt back.”
He was visibly confused. Was this some sort of a test? Did you have some kind of an ulterior motive because why on earth would you even tell him to d—
“Wh-What do you mean?”
“Flirt back,” you repeated once again, “I want to watch.”
“You want me to do that?”
“Yes,” your grin grew wider, “But I want you to watch me, too.”
You wanted him to flirt with this woman. And you wanted him to watch you accept advances from other people. Right in front of him. When you noticed his posture was getting tense, you wrapped your arms around his waist and started caressing his back.
“We belong to each other, pretty,” you softly brushed his cheek with your other hand, “You know you’re all mine, right?”
It was at that moment Hyunjin finally took the hint. You were familiar with his smiles by then. The one he flashed when he was happy, when he was shy, when he was charmed…
And when he was aroused.
“Am I?” he tilted his head, “I could use a reminder.”
“Keep your eyes on me,” you whispered against his lips, coaxing him into a kiss, “Then meet me at the restroom to come get what’s yours.”
You left him there and went back to carry on with the conversation you were pretending to enjoy with a man you most certainly were not attracted to. Come to think of it, you weren’t attracted to anyone else ever since you started seeing one horny painter guy.
This man was vile, to say the least. Physically, he got nothing on Hyunjin—that was a given, but he didn’t even know how to be smooth. You were familiar with his kind. He probably didn’t feel the need. He must have been loaded as fuck to attract basic bitches on the daily, which made him think he could get with anyone he laid his eyes on. Little did he know your kind also existed, and you most certainly did not give a fuck about the likes of him.
Then you noticed Hyunjin in the distance.
His eyes were intently on you, checking out your every movement. The more he let this woman touch him, the more shamelessly you flirted with the tall man in front of you. You got mad. He got mad. You excused yourself to the restroom. He followed right after you.
And you shared your most passionate kiss to date with him when that door closed right behind you.
“You’re just twisted as fuck, aren’t you beautiful?”
“And you goddamn like it,” you bit into his plush lips, “It’s so fucking hot watching someone else want you when I know they can’t have you.”
All of a sudden, you felt a strong grip in your hair. Your words pleased him. Watching you enraged him to no end, but it pleased him beyond words nevertheless.
“Nor can they have you,” Hyunjin emphatically declared, “I don’t want nobody else but me to have you.”
“Of course they can’t. I’m your girl.”
There were no words to describe what Hyunjin’s lips felt like. They felt like the most comforting thing ever. They felt like your untimely demise. They were the most delicious thing you had ever tasted. Every single time. He could never be satisfied just by kissing you, of course. He had to feel you under his touch. Feel how you were reacting to him by caressing you. Your face. Your skin. Your pussy. Always wet whenever he slipped his fingers between your legs.
Fucking tattoo my name on your thighs. It should spell ‘Eat Me Hyunjin.’
“Spread,” he ordered with a firm voice while lifting you up on the sink, “I wanna lick your cunt.”
It was impossible not to admire you when you were covered with a thick coat of slick because of him. It was impossible for him not to groan at the sight. He was the luckiest man alive, he knew that, but did you? Did you know how much appreciation he had for you? Did you know how much he missed you even when he was sleeping right next to you? Did you know he could give up everything just to be able to eat your pussy for three meals a day?
“God, yes!” you instinctively grabbed fistfuls of his hair when you felt that wet contact you loved so much, “Eat up, pretty.”
You had people go down on you before but never as hungrily as Hyunjin did. The man’s eagerness was simply unmatched. He was losing all sense of reality every time he dragged his tongue all over your folds as if he had a personal vendetta against you. Like it was a matter of pride to get you to moan as loudly as possible by simply eating you out. He loved making you cum just with his sucks on your clit, but he did it with such enthusiasm that you could never stop yourself from wanting more. Much more.
“Fuck me,” you pulled his face up, “Fuck me hard against this door.”
Hyunjin grabbed you by your wrists and pinned you against the restroom door.
“Arch it.”
You bent over so that he was able to see his target perfectly. You heard him unbuckle his belt behind you and felt the delicious pressure of his tip against your glistening folds.
“Oh, GOD, you’re so fucking wet,” he loudly groaned while sliding into you, “Just how the fuck are you always this ready?”
What kind of a redundant question was that? One look at Hyunjin and of course you were ready to go. No one could be as seductive as him. No one could awaken your most carnal urges as quickly as he did. It was a Hyunjin-exclusive thing. One whiff of his scent and you were ready to be a slave to please him.
“Faster,” you managed to utter as you were struggling to breathe, “Cum on my underwear.”
“Why do you keep saying things like that?!”
“Because I love getting you as horny as possible,” you snickered looking dead into his eyes, “For me.”
“No one else can turn me on like this,” Hyunjin did his utmost best not to make your lips bleed, “You’re the one, beautiful.”
You knew this wasn’t what it looked like. If anybody saw what was going down in that confined space, they would simply deem it as porn, but this was how you and Hyunjin loved each other. Unabashedly. Unapologetically. Stripped to the bone. As raw as it could be.
“They’ll know,” he panted against your nape, “My cum will drip down your thighs. They’ll know you’re mine.”
You instinctively grabbed his nape to pull him closer. That was the terms and conditions of fucking each other. No amount of air was allowed to pass through between your bodies.
“Spit,” he offered his fingers to you. You knew what that meant. He loved using you as your very own lube while rubbing your clit.
“Fuck, spank me, pretty,” you dug your fingers into his flesh, “Make it hurt.”
Normally, Hyunjin never had the heart to even consider inflicting any kind of pain on you. Physically or emotionally. The only exception to that rule was you desperately asking him to do just that for your own pleasure.
He would do anything to please you.
“Hyunjin!”
“Shh,” he pressed his large hand against your mouth while still mercilessly pounding into you, “Keep it down.”
“Let them hear,” you broke free of his restraints, “I want them to hear you’re throwing my back out in here.”
You wanted them to hear? He would make them hear. He picked up his pace to a ruthless rhythm to basically fuck you into that door and it didn’t take long before he snapped that coil inside you, making you moan his name over and over again.
“Good girl,” he breathily whispered in your ear when you started contracting around him. One thing he couldn’t really calculate was how fucking impossible it was to hold back when you came all over his cock.
“Fuck, FUCK, I’m gonna cum,” he swiveled you to face him, “Turn around.”
You wanted this. You wanted him to finish on your underwear, so of course he would do that. What else was he supposed to do?
I want to love you in every way you ask of me. I want you.
But it wasn’t enough. Once Hyunjin unloaded on the thin piece of fabric, he smeared his cock on the mess he made and fucked a few more pumps into you.
“For good measure,” he spoke against your skin, “You know I’m yours, beautiful. I’m only yours.”
You kissed each other hungrily to punctuate your little escapade in that restroom. Your foreheads pressed together, you caught your breaths while stupidly giggling. You almost told him you loved him, but for some dumb reason, you just couldn’t. Not that you needed to. Hyunjin already knew you loved him anyway.
He had to know, right?
The uncharted territory you had trespassed with Hyunjin also involved discovering the things neither of you was even aware you liked.
Occasionally, he would wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat, but watching you peacefully sleep right next to him would immediately calm him down. You. Just sleeping naked. Quietly breathing. Your chest slowly rising and falling. He would calm down alright, but then he would notice how hard your nipples were, and another test of willpower would ensue. Were you seeing him in your dream maybe? Was he pleasing you just the way you liked even in your subconscious? If you were dreaming about him, what were you two doing? Was he fingering you when you stopped at a red light? Were you fucking each other on every possible surface of your place until you were both spent? Were you asking him to pretty please let you peg him again?
But more importantly, how was he supposed to see you like that and not do something about it when he was rock hard?
He didn’t even try to be discreet about it. He secretly wished you would wake up to see him touch himself to you. Your beauty was nothing short of live porn to him that he had the privilege to share a bed with. He came to how imperfectly perfect you were. He came to all your memories together your mere sight awakened in his mind. He came to the remains of your echoing moans still rippling throughout his body. He came all over himself night after night every time he was wide awake.
Hyunjin thought he was being considerate by not actively interrupting your sleep for his selfish gains, but you knew what he was doing. His soft moans right next to you would wake you up to let you know he was pleasuring himself while watching you. Why else would you shift in your sleep to stick out your ass towards him and bury a content grin into the pillowcase? You secretly wished he would cum on you so that you could relentlessly tease him for it.
Then one day at the breakfast table, you leisurely uttered while checking your email as if you were telling him the score of last night’s game.
“You can do things to me in my sleep, by the way. I don’t mind.”
He almost choked on his coffee.
Why the fuck would you even tell him that? Why would you enable him like that? You had brought this on yourself.
You wished you had done that sooner because you started losing sleep in the most delicious way possible.
That very night, you woke up with a feeling of slickness between your legs accompanied by faint vibrations against your swollen clit instead of Hyunjin moaning right beside you.
“Pretty?”
You lifted up the duvet to see Hyunjin hugging your thighs and making out with your clit with his eyes closed. He didn’t answer. It was already quite warm under the covers, so you got rid of it to let him breathe easy. Still half-asleep, you listened to the sticky sounds his lips made. You caressed his silky hair. You watched him eat your pussy. You moaned his name while arching towards his beautiful face. You let him hug you from behind and kiss your neck.
“Baby, can I– can I put it in?”
A simple request, no?
Fuck no.
It was a necessity. Hyunjin had to sleep with his cock inside you. Especially when you were that wet.
A pleading whisper. A sleepy smile. A content sigh. An approving nod. His chest flush against your back. His arm around your waist. Languorous thrusts deep into your soaked cunt, still slightly contracting from having just cum on his face. His soft moans in your ear like a custom-made lullaby for you. Warm spurts of his seed on your walls. His breathing slowing down in the crook of your neck as he drifted back to sleep.
It was usually around dawn that he started getting an erection again. Feeling him grow inside you occasionally woke you up, but more importantly, how were you supposed to feel him get that hard and not do something about it?
You thought you were being considerate by not actively interrupting his sleep for your selfish gains, but he knew what you were doing. The pressure of your ass pressing against his crotch would wake him up to let him know you were fucking yourself against him. Why else would he pull you closer so that he was buried deeper inside you? He secretly wished you wouldn’t be able to take it anymore and just start riding him.
For you, Hyunjin was the most beautiful thing that ever walked this earth. He was a young god meant to be pleasured. To be satisfied out of his mind. He was everything. Even in his most demure moments, the man exuded sex, and it was blowing your goddamn mind how fucking blind he was to himself. He was triggering your most fucked up fantasies, and it took an iron-clad willpower to resist riding him in his sleep.
You couldn’t even spell willpower properly.
“Baby? What are you–?”
His cock buried deep inside you, your hands on either side of his pillow, you met his gaze.
You panicked for a second.
He thinks you’re a pervert. A nymphomaniac. He thinks something is wrong with you. He thinks—
“I’m– I’m so sorry. You were– You just looked–”
An apology meant remorse, and under normal circumstances, you should have stopped doing what you were sorry for. But Hyunjin was no normal circumstance and he was never going to be one. You kept going. He watched you ride him with half-open eyes, consciousness barely there, thinking he was having another wet dream about you.
“It’s okay,” he sleepily smiled as he held onto your ass and heaved a content sigh indicative of how good he was feeling, “Fuck me back to sleep.”
Hyunjin didn’t mind being woken up by you. He was looking forward to this for the longest time. When he was the one who couldn’t drift to dreamland because he had a really bad hankering for you, by god he didn’t give a fuck about disturbing your sleep one bit ever since you told him he had a free pass.
He licked his fingers and started rubbing your clit. You were throbbing. He was twitching. It was such a simple touch, but Hyunjin was setting an uncontainable wildfire on your body.
Uncharted territory.
Before meeting Hyunjin, nobody had ever loved you when you were naked.
Little did you know, buried six feet under the valleys of his mind, Hyunjin carried the fear of losing you like a badly made tattoo.
Little things matter much more than you think. They make all the difference in the world. Remove one letter from a word, and the meaning changes completely.
Like how the only difference between painting and panting is the letter I.
You and I.
Unless it’s for therapeutic purposes, you can’t just randomly start painting. You need to start with a skeleton. A sketch. Linework. Then colors come into the picture. Then texture. Then light. Or the lack thereof. Shadows. Dark ones. Perfect for lurking in while discovering your deepest, most hidden desires with that one person that makes you feel like you’re overdosing on life. To take shelter in while deliriously consuming each other and not be seen.
Hyunjin had always worked alone. Even when he used to paint at the gallery studios, no one was allowed in there. He didn’t like having people around, so much so that he never even once used a real-life model.
But for some reason, he had a feeling he would produce his best work if you pleasured him while working.
There was something inexplicable about you that riled him up to no end. Yes, you were beautiful—you were the most beautiful thing ever for him, but there was much more to you than met the eye. It was a vibe thing. It was the aura you were exuding. It was your manner of speaking. It was how you were hiding behind a veil of nonchalance when you actually cared. You cared so much. Too much for your own good.
And by fucking god, you were sex materialized. He didn’t have a lot to compare to, but Hyunjin knew nothing could ever come close to how you made him feel. You made him feel insane. One harmless thought about what you were doing that day always shapeshifted into a series of racy fantasies about bending you over and fucking you senseless. Not to cum, just to feel you as close as possible while making you feel good. He couldn’t help it.
You were the best thing that had ever happened to him.
The best part was that he didn’t need to hide these thoughts from you—he could be transparently unhinged, and to his absolute bewilderment, you actually found it very attractive about him. You were the one who took him to his first sex shop trip for fuck’s sake. You were his biggest enabler to let loose. You were his inspiration. You were his muse. How the heck that happened, he had no idea, but you were with him even with your absence. You were like a lucid dream.
It was a lazy Sunday afternoon, and he wanted to work for some time when you were in the shower. Lately, you were all he could think about every time he walked into this space. You. Your skin. Your scent. He wanted to fuck you here for once. He wanted to fuck you on every surface of his apartment. He wanted you to leave trails everywhere. Your fingerprints. Your cum stains. Strands of your hair. He never not wanted to be reminded of you. You were haunting him, and you were going to haunt him forever; he was sure.
His breath hitched in his throat when he imagined you blowing him with slow drags of your tongue, just playing with him, edging him for hours on end for inspirational purposes. He squeezed his eyes, and unbeknownst to himself, started talking out loud while languidly stroking his flushed cock.
“So… So warm… God, so wet.”
“You need an extra hand with that?”
Hyunjin almost had a heart attack when your voice suddenly echoed in his studio. He got so caught up in the images behind his eyelids that he didn’t realize the water had stopped running in the bathroom. He didn’t even notice the flowery scent of your shower gel filling up the space.
“You better be masturbating to the thought of me,” you brazenly grinned while drying your hair with a towel and started walking towards him. Mortified that he got caught red-handed, he rushed to put his bottoms back on.
“Hey, no takebacks!” you stopped his clumsy attempt and made yourself comfortable in his lap, “You never put extra chairs in here. I need a seat for myself.”
Everybody had a reason to exist, and Hyunjin was becoming more convinced with each passing day that yours was to kill him. He let out a content sigh when he felt the delightful contrast of your cool post-shower breeze against his skin and your warmth on his naked thighs, and smiled with his eyes closed when you kissed him.
“You have such pretty dimples, you know that? They’re only visible when you smile from the heart,” you reflected the curls at the corner of his lips back to him, “What were you thinking about?”
With a tinge of embarrassment still lacing his voice, Hyunjin gulped and answered while playing with your damp hair.
“What– what it would be like if– if I was in your mouth while I’m working.”
God fucking damn this man and his insatiable appetite…
“I always thought you having a TV on an easel here was an interesting choice,” you commented while looking at the big screen behind you, “What are you watching there?”
You were reminded of your very first time in this apartment all of a sudden. Of what you and Hyunjin ended up watching. Ended up doing. You squinted your eyes.
“Are you watching that ‘forbidden love’ porn here, pretty? Is that what inspires you?” you kissed the tip of his nose, “Do you imagine it’s us?”
“I always imagine it’s us whatever I watch.”
“What was it that you told me? Between my legs in my office all day,” you got up to kneel down, “Maybe I wanna be between your legs all day, too.”
The little sounds he made and his anticipating looks were never not going to excite you. You loved how he didn’t feel the need to hide how much power you had over him. Lord knows Hyunjin had as much power over you, as well. You grabbed the brush resting on the easel behind you and handed it to him.
“Get to work.”
Pretty. There was a reason you called Hyunjin pretty, but it wasn’t solely because of his looks. He had such a delicate soul, reminding you that there were people like him living and breathing in this world. He was the reason you felt like you needed to check yourself and become better in certain aspects. He was the reason you felt like you were deserving of love. He was such a passionate man. So innocent if you thought about it. Innocence didn’t solely mean being clueless about things. You were just sure Hyunjin didn’t have a malicious bone in his body.
“Shit, don’t– don’t tease me like that,” he let out an impatient whimper.
“I thought you liked getting edged, pretty.”
“I’ve been… at this for a while.”
“Since when?”
“Since you– since you walked into the shower,” he trailed off like he was ashamed to admit to his crimes.
“Then why didn’t you join me?”
Hyunjin snapped his eyes open, wide in disbelief of what he just heard, and watched you pull yourself up to straddle him again. He was burning from head to toe and not even feeling your cool skin on him like a cold compress was helping his spiking fever.
“The water was running anyway,” you started grinding against his rock-hard cock with your arms thrown around his neck, relishing the much-needed friction against your buzzing clit, “You could have spit on me. You could have shot your cum anywhere on my body.”
What sick pleasure were you taking in ruining him with your mere words he didn’t know, but he sure as hell loved it. And how much he loved it was apparent in the delightful notes of his moans. You felt him twitch and your smile grew wider at the sensation.
“Your precum is pooling around your slit,” you bit your lips and brushed your finger on the thick liquid to collect it, “I’m craving something salty all of a sudden.”
You licked his essence and kissed him lazily. While there was nothing more he enjoyed than feeling your lips on his, the anticipation was starting to slowly kill him. You descended between his legs again in an excruciatingly slow motion, egging him on to give in to his urges completely. Hyunjin finally caved, and you felt his grip in your still-moist hair.
“Suck me off, beautiful. Finish me.”
There it was. His possessed form. Such an enthralling thing to witness, immediately maximizing your arousal levels.
“I fucking love it when you talk to me like that, pretty.”
“Talk– Shit– talk t-to you how?”
“In imperatives,” you licked a long trail on his cock, “Order me around. Use me for your pleasure.”
You held him in a comfortably tight grip and started stroking him. Hyunjin relaxed in his chair and instantly started melting under your touch.
“Does it feel good?”
“Fuck yeah.”
You didn’t waste any time to provide him with the wet warmth he was yearning for. He was growing bigger in your mouth with each swipe of your tongue. You slowly descended to his tightened balls while jerking him off. It was a great idea in theory, but it turned out Hyunjin was not able to work when you were pleasuring him since he loudly cracked his brush in half.
“Fucking god, you’re– You’re so—”
“Where do you wanna finish, pretty? On my face? Down my throat?” then you whispered, “In my ass?”
“Oh, fuck me!”
“Looks like we have a winner,” you grinned at him, “Do you have something I can stretch myself with?”
“Don’t go,” Hyunjin grabbed your wrists when you got up, “I can– I can stretch you.”
“You would?” you stroked his face lovingly, “You would do that for me, baby?”
He melted into a puddle every time you called him that. You sat back into his lap and hugged him.
“Tell me how you’re gonna stretch me.”
“I’ll get you wet as fuck,” he spoke against your neck, “I’ll tease you. I’ll eat your pussy. I’ll make you cum. It’s gonna drip all the way down to your asshole. Then I’ll work you open.”
“Your filthy mouth gets me wet as fuck as it is, pretty,” you contently giggled, “Can’t believe I let you kiss me with that.”
“Then don’t turn me on this much,” he pouted, “I can’t fucking control it.”
Your scent was enveloping him. Not the shower gel. You. Dripping on him. There was nothing sexier than your natural flavor, and Hyunjin did not possess the self-control to resist that.
“You smell amazing,” he stole a kiss from your lips, “God, why do you smell so fucking erotic?!”
When you least expected it, Hyunjin wrapped your legs around his waist and got up to carry you to his bedroom, kissing you all the way there while moaning into your mouth.
You were already creamy with slick covering you. He bent your knees to clearly see your entrance and soaked your clit with as much saliva as he could collect to watch it run down to your asshole.
“You’re the one, beautiful. You’re the one I want.”
Then he began devouring your pussy with his usual fervor, munching on it, slurping on it, using the tip of his tongue to tease every single sensitive spot so that you would ooze more. It was like watching a river overflow because of a heavy thunderstorm. The clear fluid was secreting out of you and it was so hard to resist keeping his favorite flavor all to himself, but he had a mission to complete. He was going to use you as your own lube. Again.
Right after making you cum in his mouth, Hyunjin grabbed a chrome-clad butt plug from his nightstand.
“Damn, you know how to ruin a girl, don’t you?”
“I don’t,” he asserted, “I just wanna know how to ruin you.”
Well, he already knew. Hyunjin’s passionate existence was enough for you to have very violent orgasms. You loved the way he pleased you. You loved the way he loved you. He carefully nestled the vibrating small sphere against your entrance and started fucking you with careful thrusts to work you open.
“Shit, that’s— Oh my god!” you grabbed fistfuls of his sheets, “I’m so using that on you next time we fuck.”
“You can if let you catch a break.”
God, why was he so fucking sexy every time he became this? It only came out when he was overwhelmed with desire, erasing his usual timid colors in a heartbeat.
“Like that. Just like that. Stretch me,” you kept encouraging him while he was gawking at you with lips apart, “Mold me into a sleeve for you.”
Hyunjin was trying his best to distract himself since he was getting harder to your words alone, and he was going to cum untouched if you kept it up. Once he was convinced you were properly prepped for him, he made his way inside you.
“Tight,” he immediately groaned, “You’re so fucking tight.”
“I know,” you flashed him a fucked out grin, “You’re not gonna last long, are you?”
No, he wasn’t. Hyunjin was suspecting he was going to unload before he even sank into you halfway.
“Am I– am I hurting you?”
“No, pretty. I love feeling you this close.”
His heart swelled in his chest all of a sudden. While carefully paving his way into you with very cautious movements, he showered your legs with kisses, and then he grabbed the sphere to press it on your clit. You instinctively clenched at the buzzing sensation and Hyunjin almost lost his mind right then and there.
“Clench,” he breathily pleaded, “Oh, FUCK, baby, you’re killing me. Clench. Clench!!!”
You milked his cum out of him by contracting as hard as you could and listened to his animalistically guttural moans as he spilled inside of you. This was a very new feeling that Hyunjin didn’t even know existed. He slowly pulled out and sealed you close with the sphere again.
“The plug stays,” he climbed over you and started drowning you in kisses, “I want you to walk around with my cum inside you today.”
“I like it very much when you get freaky with me, pretty,” you smiled into his lips.
After you had lunch together, you drove Hyunjin back home before heading back to the studio.
“I’ll be super busy for the next two days, but I’ll call you as soon as I’m done, okay?”
Hyunjin nodded, but he was lingering. It looked like he wanted to say something, but he was struggling to find the right words. You, on the other hand, knew exactly what you wanted to say to him, but the words just would not come out.
Say it. Say it! You know it, he knows it, just fucking SAY IT ALREADY!
They were just words, but when you had no prior experience uttering them, it became the most daunting task ever. You gave up and leaned into him to kiss him instead.
Hyunjin got out of the car with an uneasy feeling in his chest. It was just two days, but he got so used to your presence by then. He was going to be lonely without you. He was going to miss you so much.
When he turned the key in the lock of his front door, he was greeted by a very unwelcome guest inside.
“Your fair lady’s not coming?”
“She has work.”
“You fucking bought that?” Hyunjae derisively laughed, “She just left to get herself properly gangbanged by those rapper guys. I shouldn’t need to spell this out for you.”
“The fuck do you want, Jae?”
As Hyunjin walked into his living room and threw himself on the couch to rest his eyes, Hyunjae put down the book he was shuffling through and rested his elbows on the backrest.
“You don’t actually think she wants you, do you?” he tilted his head and spoke softly, “I mean you’re literally a placeholder.”
“Go away.”
“She didn’t even spare an ‘I love you’ to you after all this time, did she?”
“Go away.”
“This will keep happening. You need me to exist.”
“I said go away!”
Hyunjin sat up straight in one go. He had to tell you. He had to tell you before you found out yourself. Consumed with anger, he grabbed a trash bag and headed straight to the locked bathroom cabinet where Jae’s spray dyes resided to throw them away.
“As if I can’t buy new ones and stash them somewhere else, fucking christ.”
“Shut the fuck up, Jae! Let go of me!!!”
Hyunjin’s heart dropped to his stomach when the doorbell rang. Nobody ever came to visit him, so it– it had to be—
“Hide,” he whispered to Hyunjae and threateningly pointed his finger at him, “And do not… make… a sound.”
He took a few deep breaths before opening the door, but this was the first time seeing you did not help his panic levels at all.
“I think I forgot my charger here, but it seems like this isn’t the only thing I’m gonna be annoyed about today,” you barged into the hallway, “That fucker is here to bother you, isn’t he?”
“No, it’s–”
“Where is he?” you spat, fuming out of your ears, “I’m gonna give him a piece of my mind. Where the fuck is he?!”
You checked room after room, but it looked like Hyunjin was the only occupant there. You crashed into him hard when you were making your way back to the living room, and the trash bag he was holding fell on the hardwood floor, its contents scattering everywhere.
Scarlet red, silver blue, ash gray…
At that very moment, Hyunjin felt the breathy moist whisper in his left ear.
“We fucked way before your sorry ass, you know,” he quietly chuckled, “And she fucking loved it.”
Hyunjin kept mumbling to himself time and time again like a prayer, tightly squeezing his eyes shut, begging for this to be just a nightmare.
“Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking.”
Your eyes were glued to the spray cans like you were in a complete trance. Hyunjin didn’t know that you were wishing for the exact same thing right about now. For this to be a nightmare. This wasn’t funny. This was cruel. And you knew a thing or two about cruelty.
“It’s— It was you?”
You weren’t able to control how fast your eyes were welling up to blur your vision. You had jinxed it yourself. You were oh so sure Hyunjin didn’t have a malicious bone in his body, and yet there he was. He fucking played you like a violin all this time.
Was he just way too good at this, or were you exceptionally dumb?
“You’re the one dancing,” you took a step back, “You’re the escort.”
Hyunjin couldn’t breathe. This was the ultimate exhibit of Murphy’s law. Everything that could have possible gone wrong, had. It didn’t even go wrong; it fucking derailed.
“D-don’t go. Please.”
You had always been confident. You gave negative fucks about everything. Fuck the norms. Fuck the rules. Fuck expectations. That was what made your personality larger than life.
But at that moment, your voice came out so small that it felt like you time traveled to when you were seven years old.
“You– you lied to me, pretty?” your voice cracked into a million pieces.
“NO! No, I swear I didn’t. It– it wasn’t me.”
“It wasn’t you?!” your sorrow immediately shapeshifted into fury, “So one day I’ll wake up and the person next to me might not be you? I’m just gonna be okay with you fucking people for a living and let you treat me like absolute shit because it’s not you?”
“It’s– It’s not…”
“I watched you in a fucking orgy!”
“In a what?”
“How can you not remember this monstrosity?!!” you flat out screamed at his face, tugging on your hair in exasperation, “I need to get the fuck out of here.”
As you took quick steps towards the front door Hyunjin dashed after you and grabbed your wrists.
“Please don’t go!”
“Answer this question,” you point-blank asked him, “Do you or do you not have a twin?”
He was trying to control his breathing, but spectacularly failing at it. This was it. He was gonna lose you forever. Of course he was going to. He always had. You were too good to be true anyway.
“I– I don’t.”
It wasn’t how mad you were. He wished you were mad. It was the look of absolute heartbreak that annihilated his soul. Now it was his turn to let his tears run free down his face.
“You don’t love me, beautiful, do you?”
“Don’t do that,” you sharply inhaled through your nose, “Don’t change the subject, you’re n–”
“You’re gonna leave, too, aren’t you?”
“Listen to me…”
Then his graceful tears devolved into very loud sobs. Who the fuck cared? Who the fuck cared about how twisted he looked when he knew he was seeing you for the last time?
“You’re gonna leave.”
“Hyunjin!!!”
Hyunjin ran out of his own apartment as fast as he could. Hyunjae’s distorted voice was taunting him in his head with a deafening echo causing devastating earthquakes in his mind.
She doesn’t want you.
She doesn’t want you.
She doesn’t want you.
You’re a nobody.
You tried distracting yourself by throwing yourself at your work, but that feeling of restlessness was quickly metastasizing in your heart. You swallowed your pride and tried calling Hyunjin a couple of times, but he wasn’t answering his phone. After about ten tries, it started going straight to voice mail, probably because he ran out of juice. You weren’t a religious person per se, but you were praying to everything you could think of that you would find him sleeping when you went back to his place.
He wasn’t.
You went to the corner store, the gallery, and even the club to cover all the bases you could think of, but he was nowhere to be found. You went back home and kept calling him with a faint hope that it would somehow ring.
You thought this was just an unfinished fight, and Hyunjin would show up sooner or later.
He didn’t.
That night you laid down in his bed engulfed in his scent, but you couldn’t sleep a wink. You didn’t know what to do. You didn’t know who to go to.
You remembered him telling you about the gallery curator being a long-time client of his. You decided to see them first thing in the morning before calling the police.
Please be safe, pretty. I love you too much.
“Aria Specter?” you called out to the gray-haired woman sitting behind her desk.
“Yes?”
You cleared your throat to produce a stable voice, but you knew you were going to fail. You should have at least rehearsed what you were going to say to this person before showing up unannounced.
“I uh… I’m a fr–”
Friend? Were you really about to say fucking friend? Still?
“If you don’t mind me asking, who exactly are you?” she leaned back in her chair with creased brows.
“I’m– er erhm… I’m Hyunjin’s girlfriend. I mean, I think.”
“You think?”
“We uh– we never really officially talked about it.”
Aria rolled her eyes so hard you could almost hear them. She was clearly annoyed for some reason. Trying to be civil was not going to cut it, so you decided to just go for it.
“Hyunjin’s missing, Ms. Specter,” your voice trembled, “He left home yesterday and never came back. I’m– I’m really worried.”
You just told this woman he was missing, but her expression didn’t change one bit.
“No, he isn’t.”
The relief you felt was instant. Your eyes beamed at her words.
“You… You know where he is?” you grabbed the edges of her ebony desk, “Please tell me.”
“It goes without saying that Hyunjin is a very special man,” Aria softly exhaled, “I know your kind. You’re going to torture him for your self-serving reasons, too. Please leave.”
“NO! I swear I’m not like that! I– I lo–”
Goddammit why were you unable to finish that sentence? It was just words. Fucking words! Of course it wasn’t because you didn’t feel it. When you had no prior experience uttering them, it just became the most daunting task ever.
“Please,” you continued with your pleas, “I don’t know what to do. If you know anything, please tell me.”
She lifted her head up and examined your face with a tired expression.
“Can’t believe this is happening again,” she scoffed, “He’d made so much progress after last time.”
“Last– last time?”
“About two years ago, I think. Until that cunt tore his soul apart,” she emphasized the profanity, completely unexpected of her graceful demeanor, “My dear boy locked himself in his apartment and refused to leave. Not even for his treatment.”
“What treatment?” you questioned, somewhat scared.
“You seem like a smart girl. I’d think you would have connected the dots already,” Aria cocked her brows a little derisively. “Hyunjin has dissociative identity disorder.”
⥊ TO BE CONTINUED ⥋
AUTHOR'S NOTE
🍮Like my content? Consider supporting my work with a pudding!
The final chapter got way out of hand so I decided to divide it in half. Writing this story takes so much out of me, but have I mentioned I love pain?
If you enjoyed this story, feel free to share your thoughts with me in reblogs, tags, or in my inbox. As long as you're kind, that is.
-R. (CB97%)
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500 Follower Boop Booth: Day 4
You guys think Grayson can crack?
