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THE PUNCHLINE: Chapter 9
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"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" "Fucking PACIFYING YOU, just SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND!!!"
Chapter 9: Sex In The Driveway
📜7.2K words 🚨Themes of polyamory, conversation about sex work fantasy (use of the term "escort"), ragefucking/hate sex, physical altercation attempt (by mc), car sex, Christopher and his unlimited supply of "baby girl", slight praising, breast play, oral sex, unprotected sex, creampie, fully charged vibrators recommended per usual. 💭Special thanks to @nightlychans for the free muse (just crediting, please don't feel obligated to read) Reblogs & comments are always appreciated and please keep in mind they are the ultimate motivation fuel. 🔖Story taglist: @elizalabs3 ; @septicrebel ; @clearlyissleeping 📌Permanent taglist: @sai-kida134 ; @ughbehavior ; @bearseungmin ; @skywarriorkirby ; @sunnyville36 ; @hh0320 (@hwan-g) ; @svintsandghosts ; @jl-micasea-fics ; @skz317cb97 ; @abiaswreck ; @skyminniesworld
"Come ON, man, I don’t need this shit right now!"
You had been trying to open that door for about five minutes now, but the lock just would not budge. Your rage levels got to a point where you just had to kick the door, not because it was going to magically open, but to legitimately make it hurt.
"Who the fuck are you?"
You were so startled to death by the unexpected voice raising behind you that your knees gave way, but you were quick to recollect yourself.
"Beat it, purple dude. I can't with your ass right now."
"Do you at least wanna tell me why you’re trying to break into my apartment with the obviously wrong set of keys?"
"Huh?"
The man grabbed the keys from your hand and pointed to the door.
"Key to door number one does not go into door number two. Didn’t you learn shapes and patterns in kindergarten?"
Were you really trying to open the door that did not belong to your new apartment? Yes. Because why the fuck not, apparently.
"Oh, fuck. Oh, FUCK, SORRY. I thought… Fuck-"
Rather than calling the cops on you, the man burst into a loud cackle instead.
"I like you, crazy bitch," he leaned against the door, "You can address me as the contractual owner of door number two. Or Minho for short."
"Pleasure. I guess," you replied between your grunts as you were struggling to drag your ginormous luggage inside, "Uh- Could you give me a hand with this?"
"Sure. Would you like me to braid your hair, too?"
"Excuse you?"
"It translates to absolutely not. Learn simplified Minhoese if you wanna survive around here," he jeered, "I’ll catch you on the flip flop."
You stared at the door closed to your face in complete bewilderment.
What an absolute douchebag!
You didn’t own any furniture, or more like any stuff other than a couple of personal belongings and your clothes, and you liked it that way. It always allowed you to keep the door ajar if the need to immediately bail emerged for whatever reason. That was exactly why you always opted for furnished places. It didn’t need to be so damn fancy; just a decent place having the essentials was more than enough. You heard a knock on your newest door close to evening hours. The person on the other side annoyed the crap out of you on sight.
"What’s up douche rocket? Came to apologize?" you crossed your arms over your chest.
"Yeah, I don’t do that shit," Minho casually responded, "I ordered pizza. Come, let’s have dinner," then he proceeded to walk back to his apartment. The gesture simply appalled you.
"Why?"
Minho turned around with an aloof look, "Haven’t you been dealing with this moving in shit all day?"
"Yes?"
"Did you eat?"
"No."
"Then move your ass. I don’t like my pizza cold."
Oh, SHIT, a real-life tsundere. IN THE WILD!!!
"Thanks, bunny dude," you commented as you were walking behind him.
"Huh?"
"Your front teeth," you booped his upper lip with a smile, catching him completely off guard, "It’s adorable."
"Don’t be disgusting," Minho walked towards the kitchen island, albeit slightly flustered.
You went through an entire jumbo pizza and a couple of beers together talking about your past shenanigans; the previous cities you’d been in, the stuff that made you haul ass, the kind of jobs you took, your general intolerance of people’s bullshit… Minho was more on the listener side rather than talking about himself as he seemed genuinely intrigued and entertained by your weird-ass, or to be politically correct, unique stories. When you mentioned you needed to start looking for a job to sustain yourself, he nonchalantly suggested you come work at the bar he was bartending at.
"Depends, Ming Kong. Do you work at Hooters?"
"No, and are you gonna keep doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"The nickname thing."
"Yes," you responded and took a ginormous bite of your slice.
"What a bitch," he scoffed, "While you do have an ass fit to be Hooters material, I actually need someone to mix drinks with me."
"Bold of you to assume that I know the first thing about mixology."
"I don’t assume shit," he eyed your face, "First of all, you called it mixology and you’re way too much of a smartass to solely wait tables."
"Nope. Totally clueless."
"Oh, is that so?" Minho tilted his head with a grin, "Let’s play a game then, shall we?"
"What kind of a game?" you raised your brows in suspicion.
"Simple," Minho threw the crust back into the box, "I’ll just keep giving you three choices and you’re gonna pick one. If you stutter or can’t give an immediate answer, you lose." Then continued with an emphatic voice.
"And when you lose, it's proof you're lying, and you’re dragging your ass to the bar with me."
"When I lose," you studied his expression intently, but eventually took on his challenge, "You’re on. Go."
"Black, gray, or white?"
"Black."
"Spaghetti, ravioli, or pizza?"
"Pizza."
"Vodka, rum, or tequila?"
"Vodka."
"B-52 includes Irish cream, triple sec, and?"
"Kahlua."
Minho broke into the most satisfied smile you’d ever seen in your goddamn life, smugly leaning back on the stool. You threw the slice on the box.
"DAMMIT!"
"Yeah, now you know the reason why I’m dubbed as the untameable 10th Dan™."
"Did you really just fucking trademark a nickname?" you asked with a mildly nauseated expression.
"I might as well have, bitch. I’ll pick you up before work tomorrow. Get the fuck out now, I’ll hit the sack."
An average person would be offended to the high heavens because of his attitude. Minho just did not give a fuck, and you found that weirdly charming about him.
"Fine, bunny dude, but if you wake me up before noon, I’m pressing charges for breaking and entering. I’ll catch you on the flip flop," you winked at him and left.
Weeks passed after your first day with Minho and you started working with him at the bar. Quick learner? Check. Sass? Check. Wit? Check. That was basically everything you needed to be proficient in his standards rather than experience outlined in a CV, possibly typed in Helvetica. The more you spent time together, the more you moved into his personal territory. You made yourself infinitely comfortable with him, and for some reason, he didn’t mind that. Come to think of it, it shouldn’t have been that unexpected maybe, considering Minho’s excessive fondness for stray cats.
It was another rowdy night at the bar. Minho made himself scarce from the bar area for a little breather from the incessant orders.
"Take cover here. I’ll go check on that table."
"You spend way too much time with that group," you stated with a cocked brow, "Do you know them?"
"Yeah, they’re our regulars. You should, too, if you want that tip box full."
It was always the same group of people occupying that specific booth. Five guys, coming in around nineish and not leaving until the last call at least four nights a week. Besides that pigment-ignorant fucker colossally unaware of any other color than black and evidently possessing irritation-inducing genes who kept disappearing with different people night after night.
"Look who it is! THE MAN, THE MYT-"
"Sit your ass down. I have something important to discuss."
The entire table broke into a unison "What?" at Minho’s words.
"You don't discuss things with us, Min. You just inform us of shit, and that is if you’re feeling generous," Chris commented with sheer panic, "Oh god, is this gonna involve posting bail again?"
"Nothing like that, headass," Minho stole a glance from the bar, "It's uh- It's about her."
"The barmaid queen?" Jisung confirmed the target of Minho's gaze, "Since when are we informing each other about who we wanna fuck?"
"It's NOT li- Jesus fucking christ," Minho ruffled his hair out of frustration. The table turned to Jisung, and Felix voiced everyone's common question:
"Do you understand anything from this, Ji?"
Jisung squinted his eyes and intently looked at Minho's face. His lips slightly parted upon the delightful surprise.
"He wants her to become a part of us."
"No fucking way! Really?" Hyunjin widened his eyes. Minho's response was a little too shy compared to his usual demeanor.
"I mean… Kinda, yeah."
Palpable excitement started seeping through the booth with everyone talking over each other.
"Shit just got interesting," Chris stretched his arms to his sides on the seat, "First time anybody ever put something like this on the table. Not to mention you."
"We might need some convincing. Cite your sources," Changbin demanded. Minho heaved a deep sigh and began his opening statement.
"You already know we're neighbors, right?"
"Might have been referred to as the bitch nextdoor in the passing, yeah," Jisung gulped his drink.
"We spend a lot of time together outside of work, too. We got pretty close."
"You got close with someone? Besides us?" Felix asked in shock.
"If you knew how many screws she had loose, you'd do too, asshat. And you're gonna."
At that moment, your voice raised from the bar area.
"Kindly fuck right off, sir. We reserve the right to not serve colossal dickheads here."
The entire table started cackling but for some reason, Chris had a fond smile on his face. Jisung took notice of that and responded to Minho with a shit-eating grin.
"Bold of you to assume some of us aren't already crushing, but continue."
Minho took a sip from Hyunjin's glass, "I don’t know. We talk about random shit for hours on end and I don't even realize it’s way past midnight. She even takes care of my cats if I'm not around. Like, unprovoked."
This was definitely a first. The group was witnessing Minho being borderline sentimental over somebody, something that wasn't a descendant of the feline family for that matter, and they watched the whole thing unfold in awe like they just confirmed the existence of Narnia.
"She just… she brings out something in me, and I can't shake this feeling that… that… you know."
"That she might be the one for us?"
"WHAT?" Minho snapped at Jisung, "That's- Fuck, no. Gross."
"That's a yes, gentlemen."
Changbin's clapback caused another round of teasing laughter, but Minho was relentless in his attempt to defend his ice-cold honor.
"She would fit right in is a less disgusting description," he retorted, "In conclusion, I want her around all the time, so everybody fucking behave."
"How do you even know she’d be compatible with all of us?" Changbin made a fair point, "It’s a little crowded here in case you didn’t notice."
Minho looked at him with an expression that said Try me, bitch, and started flipping through his rolodex of convincing arguments.
"Jisung, she’s way too into standup comedy. Felix, she listens to ASMR in lieu of porn on a regular basis. She’s even trying to get me into it but she’s getting on my goddamn nerves instead. Hyunjin, that ASMR heavily includes tongue fluttering triggers and we all know about your oral fixation. Changbin, she gets off to it every fucking night because I keep hearing buzzing sounds from her apartment, ergo, a massive potential for a through-the-roof sex drive. And Chris, she has a pussy."
"Why do I always get the sharp end? Just why?"
Hyunjin crunched on a couple of pretzels in front of him, "Why don’t you just straight up ask her if she’d be interested?" Minho rolled his eyes so hard he practically went blind for a second.
"And say what, 'Hey, you down for alternating between me and my dysfunctional entourage? We’ll show you a good time.' Be cool, man, goddamn."
"Would you like me to squeeze you into this drink?"
Your commentary got the booth turn to your direction again to watch another set of a dissing match.
"By all means, hot stuff."
You pulled out a heavy-looking instrument laying among a bowl of walnuts and slammed it on the bar counter.
"Or would you like me to demonstrate why they call me The Nutcracker around here instead?"
The group was relishing your snark every time you couldn’t hold it in, a clear mark that Minho’s personality was smearing on yours. Chris blurted out a little too emphatically while wiping the tears from his eyes.
"Man, I really like her."
The entire table turned to him upon the unnecessary declaration.
"What do you mean? You like her like her?" Jisung asked with creased brows whereas Changbin howled with laughter.
"Get a fucking grip, Christripper. She’s never gonna say yes to you."
"We like this bar."
"Don’t kill the bar, dude."
"Why the fuck?" Chris protested and forced a sigh out of Minho.
"For starters, she ain’t one of your regular bimbos and has a goddamn fuckboy firewall on. She deals with the likes of you on a daily basis here, Exhibit A," he gestured to the bar and continued, "You can’t hit that unless she's intrigued, and like hell I'm gonna let you pull a Christopher. I’ll fucking obliterate your ass if she leaves."
"So what? Aren't you guys neighbors? You'll still see her," Jisung thought he was making a point but Minho wasn’t having it.
"I've grown accustomed to certain luxuries like seeing that ass for twelve hours a day, and I'm not about to mess up my routine just because Crispy here can't find a glory hole."
"Hm… Intrigued, you say," Chris squinted his eyes, "Anything goes?"
"We seriously like this bar, dude."
"Please do not kill the bar."
Jisung slammed his hand on the table, "Which means, it’s my time to shine HAHA!"
"Who says I just wanna fuck and bounce? I really do like her."
Felix loudly scoffed, "Bitch please, everybody and their mother fucking knows you’re incapable of sustaining a relationship that lasts past breakfast hours."
"I don’t do breakfasts," Chris replied with a dead serious tone, "It’s a very intimate activity."
Unfortunately, Chris wasn't even joking, which was exactly why the entire table yelled in unison.
"We know."
"It’s just a phone number. The fuck is wrong with you?"
"Everything, my guy," you widened your eyes at the third frat material of the night, "Take a hike."
Needless to say, the booth cheered for the umpteenth time at the goal. Chris was smiling at you while biting his lips.
"She’s just… So interesting, you know?"
"Yeah, we know. We really like this bar."
"Don’t fucking kill the bar, dude."
"Yeah, go ahead and fucking pursue her," Changbin put his glass down, "We’d love to watch Min crush you between those thighs Christripper."
Felix let out an annoyed sigh, "Why are we even discussing this? I’m the most approachable out of all of you. I’ll ease her into it."
"Uh, hello? When I’m fucking here?" Hyunjin argued.
"You really think your suave motherfucker shenanigans will work on her?"
"Well-"
Changbin just attempted to provide his argument but the table shushed him almost reflexively in unison.
"IMMEDIATELY NO!"
"You do realize we’re trying not to spook her, right?" Jisung opposed, "If anything, you will not open your goddamn mouth until we’re sure she’s comfortable around us."
"What the fuck, man?" Changbin stretched his hands to the sides, "I will have you know I’m a fucking gentleman, and more so than all of you combined. You already know I’d charm her socks off; why the fuck would I risk that by whipping out an alter ego right from day one?"
"Either I’m wasted, or he has a point," Felix agreed. Chris exhaled in frustration.
"Do I need to fucking remind you of how much game I already have? Sung, I might need your help on this, though."
"Fuuuuuck no. We’re rivals from this point on."
"It’s for the greater good of all of us, man."
"All of us?" Jisung cackled, "She’s gonna fucking drag your ass to hell and back. You're ready to endure that for the greater good?"
"Oh, you didn't know? I have a thing for that," Chris winked and glanced at the bar, "Just look at that fucking savage princess, my god."
"Fucking simp," Hyunjin landed a smack on Chris’ head.
"Oh, she’s gonna love that. More so since I won’t be faking it at all this time."
Changbin looked at him with sheer doubt, "Dude, you don’t even know her."
"Maybe. But I feel like I do," Chris smiled looking at the bar again, "You’ll see. I’ll get the yes."
Changbin sighed in defeat, "If you say so. Learn to stop fucking everything that moves first, maybe. You sound way too confident for your own good."
"It’s because I am", Chris smirked into his glass, "I always get the yes."
After listening to the battle of the wits around him, Minho facepalmed himself.
"You're gonna fuck this up so bad, I swear to god. Just let me handle it," he declared to the table, "We're gonna put on a little skit until we get our feet in that door. Y'all better give me that Oscar-worthy performance if you don't want your asses handed to you."
Hyunjin was astonished at how quickly Minho was about to put the gears in motion, "What the fuck? You already have a game plan?"
"When the fuck do I not? You best check yourself, playboy," Minho stole a look from the bar to check your whereabouts and continued, "I’m literally her guy nextdoor, so I'll be in the friendzone until further notice. You two will be the massively incompetent wingmen," he gestured to Hyunjin and Felix.
"HEY!"
"Argue with the wall. Jisung and Changbin will be coaching you. She needs to believe you're not after her. Make sure she notices you keep fucking it up, though. Chris…" Minho paused briefly and quickly gave up on coming up with a disguise for him, "Well, she's already seen your shenanigans around here so you can be yourself."
"BRO!"
"Focus, man!" Minho pointed his fingers at his eyes, "Sung, I need you to use the Jedi mind trick thing somewhere appropriate. We kinda started a side thing here where we professionally hustle people. She does tarot readings in the back room."
"Back room, huh?" Jisung erupted into a smug grin.
"Cool it before I have to castrate you," Minho instantly countered, "Hang around by the bar. You're bound to see someone requesting her. That's when you'll ask for a reading yourself. That's our intrigue card," he eyed Jisung from head to toe and commented with a queasy face, "And get a fucking cut and color while you’re at it. I recommend dark blue."
"Can't you at least give us some more prominent roles in this?" Hyunjin objected, "We're barely supporting characters here."
"Fine, I'll be crushing on you. Does that jerk off your ego?" Minho shut him up, "Felix, dial down the husky charms to a minimum. I need you on your best sunshine behavior."
"You want her to think I'm some schmuck? What the fuck man?"
"Shh!!!" he silenced the unnecessarily high decibel, "And yes I do. She's eventually gonna cave."
"And you’re this sure because?" Changbin asked. Minho answered with a confident smile.
"Because we're the fucking charmers of this town."
"Why not invite her to our po-" Jisung attempted a question but Minho interrupted him.
"No. I want her to feel safe around us first. This is fucking important."
Chris examined Minho for quite some time and asked him with raised brows, "You're sure you're doing this for all of us? You seem a little too whipped for your untameable reputation."
Minho cleared his throat and got up to get back to his station.
"I'm not gonna confirm nor deny this information. Do not fuck this up."
Chris was about to collapse an entire building into mere dust out of sheer frustration, so he gathered the council in Hyunjin’s coffee shop at closing hours to discuss the matter at hand and hopefully find a solution.
"This is becoming a fucking problem now."
"Some context would be nice," Jisung reached out for his coffee.
"I’m about to lose my fucking mind. Thank you," Chris grabbed the mug from Hyunjin, "It's like somebody dipped her in Chris repellent. Why the fuck can’t I get through the door? Is one of you doing something to fuck me over?"
"Told ya. Fuckboy firewall," Minho slurped on his americano, "What happened?"
"She came onto me in the middle of the night on Hyunjin's birthday, and it was great. God, it was so great," Chris briefly closed his eyes holding his head between his hands, "But when I woke up in the morning she was nowhere to be found."
"Maybe she just doesn't do that waking up together stuff," Minho asked the rest of the table, "Did she sleep over with any of you?"
The unison ‘Yes’ that came from the four men basically punched Chris in the stomach.
"See? None of you are exactly husband material, but she doesn’t seem to have a problem with the rest of you? Why the fuck is she avoiding me? Why am I not enough for her?"
"For your information, I highly doubt that’s a matter of being enough," Jisung responded, "I have reason to believe she’s having a tough time admitting some things to herself."
"Like what?"
Jisung placed his mug on the table again, "Let’s just say that for some reason she seems to have developed a habit of making you suffer. And quite honestly, you’re fucking enabling her."
"Not to mention you deserve it," Minho retorted.
"Thanks so much for the cryptic insight," Chris deadpanned.
"Just because I love you doesn’t mean I’m gonna abuse her trust in me," Jisung commented with a soft voice. Chris furrowed his brows upon these words.
"What do you mean? You know something?"
"It's called common sense," Jisung shrugged, "Practice it some time."
Changbin was analyzing Chris’ face like he was trying to solve an equation, "What’s with the obsession? You wanna walk me through it?"
"What obsession?"
"The wanting what you can’t have thing."
"It’s not a matter of wanting what I can’t have."
"You sure?"
Chris heaved a deep sigh, "In your crass words, I already got it, remember? Twice. And she fucking loved it."
Changbin snickered at Chris, "Sure. You're just this mad not because it pisses you off you can't hit that whenever you want, but because you’ve just fallen for her, right?" Then he burst into full-on laughter, "Yeah, good one."
Changbin waited for a snarky comment in return but all that followed was silence, not to mention Chris’ flustered face and dark red ears. His eyes widened upon realization.
"No fucking way! You have?"
"He really has," Jisung followed with a faint smile, "You fell in love with her, didn’t you?"
Chris harshly grabbed the water bottle in front of him and gulped half the content in one go like he was trying to calm himself down. He dragged his hand over his face and groaned in defeat.
"I’m so trapped in her web I can’t move. You gotta help me out with this."
Although Minho recognized how serious Chris was, the snark was intended to lighten the mood this time, "You realize none of us will be willing to let you have her by yourself, right? And I top that chart, I mean."
"You know it’s not that, Min," Chris furrowed his brows again, "I just want her to let me love her, too. That’s all I’m asking."
"Settle something for us, baby. Roleplaying, yay or nay?"
You poured Jisung’s usual Long Island Iced Tea and responded enthusiastically while serving his drink, "Duh, fucking yay!"
"See?" Chris yelled to him, "Game, set, and match."
"Oh, you’re on the yay side?" you contorted your face, "Then I’ll go with nay."
Your satisfied grin elicited loud oohing from the gang and relentless Chris clowning followed suit afterwards.
"Ha ha, very funny," Chris deadpanned, "I don’t care, she said yes first."
"Yeah, but she hates your guts, so we win," Changbin raised his glass to you and you nodded in response.
"Like none of you are into that shit," Chris protested.
"Yeah, we just like seeing you suffer Crispy."
It was true, and for some reason, you were the head cheerleader of all the Chris-bashing activities. Felix noticed the gratuitous amount of satisfaction on your lips and mischievously smiled himself.
"Actually, this," he pointed his finger at the space between you and Chris, "is like two kids that keep bothering each other, don’t you think? When in fact they looove each other."
You slammed the washcloth in your hand on the bar top.
"Yo Freckles, you wanna die?"
They roared with laughter and Changbin slapped Chris’ back, "Pull her hair while you’re at it, why don’t you?"
"I want to if she ever lets me," Chris looked at you almost with a pout.
And you… No matter how involuntarily… With a complete lack of willpower…
Smiled at him.
A thought kept riddling you lately to the extent that you were losing sleep over it. You obviously had feelings for Jisung and it was way past the amazing sex at this point. It was how he made you combust with the warm and fuzzies whenever you saw him. It was how he made you feel truly appreciated. It was how comforting it was to be around him. It was how he made you wanna be there for him, love him, cherish him, open your heart to him and be completely vulnerable. Because you trusted him. Maybe even a little too much.
But could it be slightly, just a little, at all possible that you… had feelings for more than one person?
Tsch, yeah right.
"Well, in all seriousness, depends on what kind of roleplay," you shooed the redundant thoughts away, "What genre of fantasy are we talking about?"
All the men sitting in front of you plus Minho replied unanimously.
"Escort."
"You’re one of those?" you quipped, "One in three guys, I swear."
"Try six out of six, beautiful," Hyunjin teased.
This was by no means chastising. It was just an extension of a phenomenon you kept observing whenever you were around these people. It was how open they were whenever the subject was their sexuality, either in practice or in a conversation, making you believe that other forms of communication just could not bring people closer in the way that sexuality did and some form of intimacy came out of it. You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel much much closer to them compared to when you first met them. Granted, seeing them naked played a part in it, but if that was the case, you had seen a lot of people naked before, and you weren’t necessarily this close to any of them. That would require the will to keep in touch first.
"What is it about the escort fantasy guys like so much? Is it the aspect of being a customer? Like, ‘I paid for it so you're gonna do anything I want’ type of shit?"
"How coarse do you think we are?" Chris replied semi-seriously and added, "It plays a role but not as much as you think."
"Then what?"
"Personally, I really like how paradoxical it is," he continued, "While the offered service is one of the most intimate things between two people, more often than not you wouldn't be allowed to be intimate with your clients - it's against the rules. It's that forbidden aspect of it that gets me going."
You squinted your eyes, "You're legit telling me… The idea that riles you up is being intimate, not the unspeakable acts you'd ask them to do in exchange for money."
"Damn straight. Although I prefer the term ineffable acts," Chris knowingly smiled, "and how much they would fucking love it."
They would love the ineffable acts, huh?
Because why wouldn’t they when the person you were playing with was already someone who continuously enjoyed what they experienced with you? You knew that, but you would rather do shots of bleach than admit that out loud.
"That’s bullshit. There's no way that is true."
"It is and I'll prove it to you," Chris put down his glass for you to refresh it, "One date. That’s all I’m asking."
"A what?"
"Why not?" Chris shrugged, "I already know Changbin took you out to dinner and Hyunjin even went down that private cooking route. What’s the harm in going on one with me?"
You were about to break into an entire monologue to talk yourself out of the urge to say yes, but Chris derailed your thoughts by placing his hand on yours.
"Please?"
You held his gaze for a while. His beautiful brown eyes looked way too candid and you absolutely hated how it made you feel.
"You’re serious."
"Yes, I am."
The entire clan basically started cheering very loud ‘DO IT!’s, pressing you to accept his proposal. The more you didn’t answer, the more anxious Chris was getting for fear of another rejection.
"What's it gonna take? Just tell me already."
Before you could answer him, Jisung intervened, "It’s fair game, baby. He’s the only one you relentlessly avoid paying attention to and god knows he’s paid his dues."
It was true. You reveling in making Chris suffer in whatever form was only because it satisfied something twisted inside you, but it was just the pleasure of putting him in his place, not because of some sadistic desire to damage him emotionally. That would be just straight-up cruel.
"Why not consider it an opportunity to diss me all night?" Chris smiled.
Now, that I can do.
"Fine," you replied curtly trying your best not to smile back. Chris’ dimples, on the other hand, grew even deeper.
When the clock struck closing hours, the guys all got up to leave for their poker night, but Chris stayed behind.
"I'll give you a ride home."
"You're not going with them?" you asked while getting your bag.
"I got a deadline coming up, so I gotta head home to work. Come on."
No wonder he had limited himself to only two drinks throughout the entire night.
Well, this is new, you thought to yourself as you got settled in your seat. You didn’t say a word during that entire ride and just watched him drive with stolen glances. You were used to being annoyed at Chris, not to noticing how sexy he looked behind a steering wheel, veins on his hand popping due to his firm grip, eyes intently on the road with slightly furrowed brows. It was warm inside. His car smelled really nice although not as nice as his own scent, and the melodies coming from his speakers were as soft and sultry as his lips were.
What?
"Well, good night then," Chris pulled you back to earth as he stopped in your driveway. You immediately went back to snark mode to camouflage your actual thoughts.
"Yeah, not happening since your face is the last thing I saw tonight."
Chris immediately killed off the engine and locked the doors to prevent you from leaving.
"Fucking CHRIST, Y/N, just WHAT IS IT? Why do you hate me this much? What did I ever do to you?!"
"I just CAN’T fucking stand your stupid face if that’s what you wanna know!"
"BUT WHY?"
Why? Did he really ask WHY?
"You," you nudged him on the shoulder.
"...think you’re fucking all that," you pressed harder.
"...when in fact", you shoved him harder.
"...you ain’t shit. That whole confidence thing you got going on? It's fucking baseless."
"Our nights together beg to differ," Chris scoffed, "You fucking dissolved under my touch."
You were almost caught off guard, "That doesn’t mean anything. I was both drunk and high. Nobody would be able to think with their brain."
"Oh yeah?" Chris fully turned to face you, one hand still on the steering wheel, "You seem to be forgetting about a particular bookstore incident. You were very much sober when I made you cum so fucking hard on my fingers in broad daylight - not to mention in fucking PUBLIC!"
Oh, you got some goddamn nerve.
His words… His words got a fucking RISE out of you.
"Alright that’s it, you jackass, somebody needs to teach you a fucking lesson," you immediately grabbed the seat belt to unlatch it.
"HA, you don’t mean you, I hope?"
You literally swung your fist towards him in an attempt to land a punch, but the proximity was so close that Chris instantly blocked it by grabbing your wrist.
"You think you’re so irresistible. Well, news flash, you arrogant prick, I will resist you with everything I got. You’re nothing more than a fucking philanderer, a fucking WOMANIZER, you’ll just fuck EVERYTHING THAT MOVES."
"What the fuck, Y/N, are you fucking insane?"
"What if I am, huh? Congrats, you’ve DONE IT! You’ve finally driven me fucking CRAZY!"
You unleashed yourself onto him to tackle him in that tiny space and straddled him as if you could actually put him in a sleeper hold so he would just shut up. Just shut the fuck up.
Needless to say, it was way too easy for Chris to break himself free of your attempts to assault him. With one swift move, he grabbed your neck to pull you in a heated kiss. You stopped it in utter rage.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Fucking PACIFYING YOU, just SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND!!!"
He pulled you back in his arms again and he was kissing you with such passion that it deactivated all your reasoning instantly, disabling your motor functions to inflict pain.
"Ah, Chris."
"Baby girl."
"Ah, I fucking hate you."
"Hate me all you want, just let me fucking touch you."
When his hand slid inside your shirt to caress your back with his warm touch, all you could do was moan. And moan. And moan. Loudly. He fucking groaned at the contact.
"Oh, jesus fucking CHRIST, YES- I've missed this so much."
You hated to admit it, but so did you. Your hands inadvertently found their way to his chest again to scratch it, mark it as deeply as you could.
"Behave. Behave, baby girl."
Chris sort of beat you to it and latched himself to your neck, lightly grazing it with his teeth. Then he whispered in your ear with a way too delighted smile.
"Just say you're fucking jealous, baby girl. It ain't that hard."
"Shut up."
"Say you don't want me touching anybody else but you."
"I said shut the fuck up!"
"Say you fucking want me to be your simp."
You hooked the crook of your elbow against his nape with a harsh move and roughly pressed his head against your chest like you wanted to legitimately choke him. Chris humored you for the briefest of moments, letting you relish that delusion that you could actually overpower him, but popped that bubble with the needle that was ripping open the buttons of your shirt instead. He didn’t waste any time freeing your breasts and began fervently sucking on them, punctuating the swirls of his tongue with a gentle bite on your nipples.
"FUCK!"
"Oh, you like that, don’t you baby girl?"
He groped both your tits with a firm grip, pressing them together, and kept hardening your nipples with the loud and wet movements of his tongue.
"I wanna fucking cum on these. Oh, I would cum so hard."
"Not even gonna take you two minutes to blow anyway."
"Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?" he hysterically smiled, "You fucking love watching me lose myself over you."
He roughly pulled your face towards his again, hands never losing contact with your skin, lips already swollen over extremely needy kisses, panting into your mouth.
"Fucking grope me."
Chris landed a slap on your thighs from under you and squeezed them deliciously.
"That ass just begs to be spanked."
"Oh, bite me, you prick."
"If you insist, fucking gladly."
He literally moved on to sink his teeth on your shoulder and that was the most exquisite kind of pain you could ever feel. Your hiss morphed into a moan before it could even leave your lips.
"Ah, FUCK! You're going all alpha wolf on me now?"
"You want me to? I'm not even scratching the surface."
You reciprocated the move by trapping his plush lips between yours, biting on them like you really wanted a piece of him. Chris was getting way too riled up over how you were losing it and unbuttoned your pants, almost ripping them in the process.
"Touch me. Right there."
"Here, baby girl?"
That wasn’t an actual question because he knew the exact spot. He fucking heard it from you pressed against a door as you were instructing Jisung while Chris was touching himself to your moans.
"Oh, right there, right there, right there, CHRIS FUCK!"
"That’s my girl. There you go."
You yelling his name like that was doing something to his brain. His mind was completely infested with the urge of ramming himself into you. He hastily rid you of your pants and dropped his to his ankles, guiding his rock-hard length into your sopping wet entrance.
"FUCKING- YES!"
Those arms were just so fucking strong that he wasn't struggling one bit to lift you up and down on his cock. Like you were a fucking leaf. The pleasure spreading throughout your body was so fucking exorbitant that your loud moans echoing in his car were instantaneously transforming into screams of his name. You grabbed his shirt and pulled it to yourself.
"Fucking take it off. Take it off!"
When he flashed that magnificent chest for you again…
Oh… my fucking… god…
There was no fucking way you weren’t going to drag your nails on them.
"Oh, fuck yeah, baby girl. Scratch me. More!"
All of a sudden, Chris pulled the lever right next to his seat, leaning it all the way back, and abruptly flipped you under him. So fucking easily.
"Say you want me to wreck you."
"Like hell I w-"
Chris attacked your lips with pure fire again, taking all your breath away. Literally.
"Say it, baby girl."
"No."
He maniacally smiled, eyes filled with nothing but hunger, warning you of the looming impact.
"But I'm gonna, anyway."
He pushed your legs back and dove into your pussy like he was starved to death.
"SHIT!"
Indescribable. The sensation Chris was inducing in you was simply indescribable. It felt very close to pouring gallons of gasoline over an already uncontrollable wildfire. He kept sucking on your clit firmly enough to apply enough pressure, but it was that damn teasing of his tongue that was making you go absolutely feral.
"Say it, baby girl."
"FUCK, please don't stop!"
He allowed himself to sate his own burning desire to fucking dissolve you under his tongue, getting you to flow a river for him, coating his mouth with your sweet juices. You were like a spring that was never enough to quench his thirst. Chris could do that for hours if teasing you wasn’t more entertaining.
"Say I'm driving you crazy."
"You- You’re-"
"Say it, baby girl."
"You’re dr- You’re driving-"
"Do it for me."
"You’re driving me fucking CRAZY!!! Oh, fuck, FUCK!"
You grabbed him by his hair to get him up. If he didn’t pass through you right that second, you were going to legitimately lose your mind.
"Get up. Get the fuck up! Fuck me into this seat, you son of a bitch, DO IT!"
Chris grinned like an absolutely deranged lunatic and climbed on top of you, throwing your legs over his shoulders to angle for your sweetest spot. That stretch he caused while letting out that animalistic grunt was everything.
"Oh, CHRIS!"
Your voice… It was more than enough. It was the sexiest fucking thing in this universe. He could listen to it like a song over and over again and blow on cue. He was sure of it.
"Say it again."
"Say w-"
"My name, baby girl. Again."
You held onto his gorgeous arms again, sinking your fingers in them, and let yourself get lost in him.
"Oh, Chris."
You felt him twitch inside you and he let out a deep exhale.
"Fuck- Again."
"Chris, please."
"Ah, again, baby girl."
"Christopher."
This time he twitched so hard that you felt it deep within you.
"Ah, baby-"
"Christopher."
"Ah, baby, yes."
"Christopher."
"Oh, fucking-"
"Christopher."
"Fuck, again."
"Christopher."
"Again!"
"Christopher!"
"AGAIN!"
"CHRISTOPHER!".
"Fuck, fuck, FUCK, give it to me. Give it to me, baby girl, just like that."
Chris fucking snapped. He was going more unhinged with every thrust, resolute to crash both of you into an iron gate at full force. He slithered his thumb on your clit to intensify your pleasure.
"You know you love this, right? You fucking love this."
"Fucking kiss me!"
Who was he to say no to tasting your lips at every opportunity? He could live the rest of his life attached to them for all he cared.
"Cum for me," you whispered into his mouth. He deliriously smiled again.
"Fuck no."
"Fucking blow for me."
"You first, baby girl."
Chris picked up the pace, disarming you completely under him.
"Where do you wanna cum? Tell me."
"No, please, no, y- you…"
He was simply ruthless, determined to not let you have your way whatsoever.
"You wanna flood my cock? You wanna cream on my face? Tell me, I'll do it."
You were trying. You were really trying to form a coherent sentence but all that came out of your mouth was your moans mixed with guttural sounds his thrusts were forcing out of you.
"You. Your- J-just you."
"Let go for me, baby girl. Hit me with all you got. You know you love this."
Then he bent over your face again and whispered looking dead into your eyes.
"You love me."
"FUCK, CHRIS, I L-"
Chris immediately covered your mouth with his lips and choked your moan that could have easily turned into something very inexplicable. Nevertheless, your brutal spasms along with what he most certainly knew was going to spill from your lips pushed him over the edge with you. Frantically.
"Oh, yes. Yes, I'm coming! I'm fucking coming, oh SHIT!"
His warm seed squirting inside you, spreading around your walls like that felt so weirdly soothing, wrapping you in a blanket of pure bliss. You felt yourself getting out of your body for a second. After he came down, Chris finally broke the silence minus both of your attempts to catch your breaths.
"So, I uh- I’ll come pick you up at 8 tomorrow?" he asked while panting, your foreheads still pressed together. Your hands reached for his curls and caressed them softly.
"Actually, I have something else in mind. Why don’t you meet me at the restaurant?"
My name is Y/N and I’m pretty sure I’m about to make the biggest mistake yet.
«TO BE CONTINUED»