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my little stupid thoughts on scream [5] (2022)

so, i finally watched scream [5, i don’t care what they had called it] (2022) a few days ago and i’m thinking so many thoughts. spoilers under the cut, probably, for all the 5 scream movies.

don’t get me wrong. i really liked the movie, and considering i hated scream 3 (what the hell with the roman plot twist. no, baby, my billy boy wasn’t ‘manipulated by you’ i really refuse to admit that movie as a canon part of the franchise) and i have a complicated relationship with scream 4 (i absolutely hate emma roberts and her motive was lame but kirby won my heart and i liked the new generation vibes it had), i was relieved to see that the scream franchise still had that something that hooked me up in the first place to the movies. HOWEVER, they had so many things and they could have done so many GREAT things and they went for two kids in a relationship, ONE OF THEM BEING A MINOR (because as far as i know, amber is a minor and richie isn’t) that wanted to do a new movie because stab 8 sucked. listen, i couldn’t care less about fucking stab 8 and their flamethrower. 

one thing that i agree now with my dad (yes, i watched the movie with my parents, sue me. my dad is an actual movie buff since he studied cinema and sound and has great opinions on any type of movie, horro flicks too.) it’s something he said during the whole movie. that was “i don’t see the point of this movie”. i didn’t either, but i wasn’t going to tell him since well, i don’t really like to agree with him or telling him his right. plus, i was busy with watching the movie, and i have absolutely no thoughts during the scream movies rather than my suspect list. but now that i have thought about it for a few days and read some more opinions online, i have my own. and i know realize that the way they made this movie could have been even better if they truly had used what they had right there. 

“what’s the point of this movie?” introduce a new generation to the scream franchise and continue it that way, that’s what comes to mind when i think that question. “what could’ve been?”

there’s a point very clear in the movie. there’s an absolute obsession with the original, with billy loomis... but most importantly (sorry, my love), with stu macher. during the whole movie, since the begining with tara when she doesn’t say stu’s name, we see that the lack of fame stu has is insulting, especially considering that he and billy were a (gay) team. they were planning on getting away with it, together. it wasn’t a one sided thing, billy wasn’t going to betray stu at the end. they were going to live happily ever after in billy’s cabin in the forest and have lots of dog and children until they planned the next murder spree (this is completely canon, they told me themselves). stu was FORGOTTEN. it was the perfect way of bringing him back, because my man did not die just because a tv fell on top of his head. what kind of cartoon-like death is that? IN FACT, knowing that scream 3 was originally planned to be orchestrated by stu himself (which would have been way better than fucking roman) we know that he was supposed to be alive. he’s not dead. billy is (THEY SHOULD GIVE HIM THE INMORTALITY SLASHERS HAVE IN ABSOLUTELY EVERY MOVIE TBH). but are you kidding me?

the lack of the stu plotline in scream [5] has only ONE explanation, and that one is: stu is the ghostface in ‘the sequel’ aka scream 6. HE HAS TO. it’s not even a petition now, it’s a command. you think my man is going to be sitting around doing nothing, allowing his name to be forgotten while his boyfriend’s gets to live on for something he did too? OH-OH. no, no. even matthew lillard wants to come back, and has thoughts about it (and has asked about people doing fanart of post jail!stu, and i haven’t seen that so i’m formally requesting it too). i want the gay angst. i want stu flipping out and killing sidney in the sixth (i think neve is off the project so let’s kill gale). i want the glorious moment when we’re in the climax of the final scene and fucking stuart macher takes off his mask and he’s smiling the shit out of that because he fucking did it. he’s killing it (someone, probably sam, if she continues to be the final girl, is going to kill him and win, i know, BUT HOW GLORIOUS WOULD IT BE FOR STU TO COME BACK?). we have the reasons, the evidence, the means. this is not you wattpad wannabe petition, this is something that could have become real, and since it hadn’t, someone better do it in the next one. it would be the perfect way to end with the past scream fandom and continue with the new gen, because let’s face it — dewey died, alright? if neve’s out then there’s no more sidney, but courtney is still in, right? so there’s gale fucking weathers, and once that one is dead, then we have the new gen. it’s perfect!

i really liked this new scream movie, though. not so much the motive (100% lame), or the ghostfaces (i knew AND SAID amber was shady right when the movie started and said she was the killer once i saw stu’s house. she was too obvious, guys, although the actress made a terrific job. i didn’t expect richie because it would be too obvious, being the boyfriend and having dewey say not to trust him... but turns out, it was as obvious as billy was, just like worse because he was annoying), or the killings. i mean, ghostface did kill judy hicks in the middle of the day, the stabbing was WAY too much, and the killings were too fast. there were no chase scenes, which were one of the best things in the scream franchise. but i really liked the characters and their connections to the canon ones. 

i liked wes and how sweet he was, i really didn’t like him dying. i liked chad being a doofus and mindy being like her uncle, randy. I LOVED MINDY LIKING GIRLS because scream was made for and by the gays and theys and we must never forget kevin williamson and the fact that billy and stu were queer coded and based in gay serial killers. (my parents thought mindy and chad were the killers which made me laugh the fuck off). i liked how annoying liv was and i even suspected her of being one of the killers. i liked amber shadyness (everything went downhill when she was proved to be a ghostface, although i have to say, she was badass). 

i LOVED sam as a final girl and her being billy’s daughter. her seeing billy because psychosis is hereditary but treatable. i ADORED jenna’s performance as tara, because i loved tara surviving the opening scene and being the absolute best (my mother believed richie when he said maybe tara was the killer. i laughed my ass off, again, but this time with my dad). and i just know jenna would have killed sam’s role, but anyways. 

i hated richie. but this new generation thing gave the vibes from kirby and the others in scream 4, which i really liked. 

that being said, IF STU ISN’T THE GHOSTFACE IN SCREAM 6 I WILL RIOT. thank you for the floor.