I Find It Funny That Kisaki Was 13 And Doing All That Shit - Tumblr Posts
Hanma and Kisaki texts
Warnings: suggestive, swearing, and i feel like the characters involved should be warning enough tbh, also angst??? not sure
Desc: i hate Kisaki, but i find him and Hanma's dynamic to be hilarious. And i love Hanma. so this is just them being them. this is mostly for shits and giggles.
Hanma: hey babe ☺
Kisaki: who is this
Hanma: *gasp*
Hanma: you don't have my number saved???
Kisaki: obviously not
Kisaki: this is probably the wrong number
Hanma: is this Tetta-san? :)
Kisaki: ?
Kisaki: yeah?
Hanma: then it's the right number
Kisaki: oh
Kisaki: it's you
Kisaki: i told you not to text me unless it was something important
Hanma: it is important
Kisaki: what is it
Hanma: i'm bored
Hanma: let's FaceTime 😋
Kisaki: 😐
Kisaki: i have work to do
Hanma: ooo!!!
Hanma: who's murder are we plotting next
Hanma: can we kill Draken???
Hanma: i want a necklace made out of his big ass ears
Kisaki: fuck is wrong with you
Kisaki: and i meant homework??
Hanma: oh yeah i forgot you're in school
Hanma: i never went
Kisaki: i can tell
Hanma: god i love it when you degrade me
Kisaki: you have serious problems
Kisaki: i'm gonna do my work now
Hanma: 5 minutes of your time is all i ask for
Kisaki: i don't like wasting time
Hanma: but it's not a waste of time if you're spending it on me
Kisaki: it absolutely is
Hanma: you're so silly Tetta-san😚
Kisaki: don't say that about me
Kisaki: ever
Hanma: or what ;)
*Kisaki has blocked Hanma*
Hanma: oh shit
Hanma: i was joking 😭😭
Hanma: it was a joke
Hanma: TETTA
Kisaki: meet me at the park
Hanma: DON'T BLOCK ME AGAIN IM SORRY ABOUT LAST TIME ITS BEEN LIKE A WEEK😭
Kisaki: shut up
Kisaki: i need you to drop me off somewhere
Hanma: omg you need me?? ☹️<3
Kisaki: could you stop being yourself for one minute
Kisaki: are you coming or not
Hanma: anything for you my lil meow meow
Kisaki: ?????
Hanma: i thought you were using me dropping you of somewhere as an excuse to hang out with me :(
Kisaki: why would i do that
Kisaki: i don't like you
Hanma: but i love you
Kisaki: i'm not gay
Kisaki: i'm only using you to get the woman i love
Hanma: so you're saying it'd be different if i was a woman?
Kisaki: no
Kisaki: your personality is undesirable
Kisaki: you're strange and offputting
Kisaki: and you're tall and lanky
Hanma: so what i'm hearing is
Hanma: you observe my body a lot 😏
Kisaki: 😐
Kisaki: bye
Hanma: WAIT
Hanma: believe it or not, i do have some important information
Kisaki: regarding what
Hanma: Hanagaki
Hanma: i'll pick you up at your school tmr
Kisaki: alright
Hanma: it's a date 😍
Hanma: i can't find your high school ☹️
Hanma: i've been driving in circles for a while now
Kisaki: i'm in middle school
Hanma: ...
Hanma: ...
Hanma: ...
Hanma: what 🙂
Kisaki: i know you've never been to school and all
Kisaki: but could you keep up
Hanma: what do you mean you're in middle school?????
Hanma: what grade are you in????
Kisaki: seventh
Hanma: WHAT
Hanma: HOW OLD ARE YOU
Kisaki: ??
Kisaki: 13
Hanma: ....😧
Hanma: please tell me you're joking
Hanma: genuinely begging you
Hanma: Tetta-san
Hanma: please don't tell me you're a pre pubescent teenager
Kisaki: i'm not pre pubescent, i'm going through puberty 🤨
Hanma: oh my god
Hanma: oh my god
Hanma: i'm gonna kms
Hanma: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
Kisaki: why would i need to
Hanma: I'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU
Hanma: QUITE BLATANTLY
Hanma: I'VE SAID THINGS
Hanma: TO A 13 YEAR OLD???
Hanma: OH MY GOD I'M GONNA GO TO JAIL
Hanma: I'M SHITTING MYSELF RN
Hanma: THIS IS FOUL 😭
*Hanma has deleted some messages*
Kisaki: i don't know what you're going on about, but i can see your bike
Kisaki: i'm coming towards you, you fucking weirdo
Hanma: DO YOU NOT SEE THE GRAVITY OF THIS SITUATION ????
Hanma: WE HAVE TO BREAK UP
Kisaki: we were never together in the first place
Kisaki: i'm not gay
Hanma: how can you be 13 and homophobic
Kisaki: i don't have a problem with gay people
Kisaki: just you
Hanma: i-
Hanma: how many chest hairs do you have??🤨
Kisaki: ... lots
Hanma: i'm gonna go jump off a bridge
Kisaki: we succeeded, she's dead.
Hanma: lowkey felt bad for that one💀
Hanma: but it was fun ngl
Kisaki: why did you feel bad? we're a step closer to our plan
Kisaki: and she's involved cause she's Mikey and Izana's sister
Hanma: she's Hina's best friend, won't she be sad?
Kisaki: not once i propose to her and she see's how beautiful this ring is
Hanma: hmmm
Hanma: i won't lie Tetta-san
Hanma: this plan is flawed💀
Hanma: also
Hanma: you said "our" plan? 🙀
Kisaki: it's a full proof plan
Kisaki: and yeah, ig
Hanma: wait fr
Hanma: oh
Hanma: so am i still gonna hang around you when you and Hina get married
Kisaki: i guess
Hanma: k
Kisaki: don't cry or anything like that
Hanma: i'm not, i'm smiling 😁
Kisaki: your smile is creepy
Kisaki: don't do it
Hanma: can't stop, sorry
Kisaki: whatever
Kisaki: fucking weirdo
Hanma: yo, where are you???
Hanma: i heard a gun shot
Hanma: is Hanagaki dead??
Hanma: did we win!?!?!!?!
Hanma: Draken fucked me up ngl
Hanma: also yeah, Izana and Kakucho are definitely dead
Hanma: idk where Mikey is
Hanma: shit was wild today
Hanma: most fun I've had in years
Hanma: WHOOP❗❗❗❗
Hanma: right???
Hanma: Tetta-san?
Hanma: so like
Hanma: that was pretty traumatizing
Hanma: you were all crumpled up and gross
Hanma: didn't think Takemitchy had it in him
Hanma: to actually push you in front of a truck
Hanma: i know your trying to pry the gates of hell open rn
Hanma: i was the only one at your funeral, sorry :/
Hanma: it's been a few months, and i've been really bored
Hanma: Kakucho didn't die, apparently
Hanma: yeah
Hanma: god i've been so bored
Hanma: and lonely, ew
Hanma: your glasses r starting to rust for some reason, so i can only wear em at night
Hanma: you clothes are so small lol
Hanma: well
Hanma: just wanted to check in
Hanma: been a while
Hanma: i killed Draken
Hanma: well, not directly
Hanma: and it wasn't supposed to be him
Hanma: Hanagaki just won't die
Hanma: was tryna avenge you, or whatever
Hanma: uhm
Hanma: i'm 18 now, so that's cool
Hanma: idk if people are allowed to sleep in hell, but goodnight
Hanma: happy 15th birthday Tetta-san. I'll bring a McDonald kiddies meal to your grave