I Love It But Im Crying My Heart Out - Tumblr Posts

𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 𝐑𝐚𝐧

"𝙨𝙤 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙘𝙧𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙤𝙧 𝙣𝙖𝙝?"

suffering from a terminal illness- l/n y/n takes it upon herself to complete her little list before her time runs out. what she thought was a journey for one, turned into an adventure with roppongi's haitani ran

15. save me a waltz MASTERLIST GENERAL MASTERLIST

if there's one thing that hasn't changed from him, it's his sheer hatred to specific scents- and if given the chance then he'd gladly burn down everything that gave him that sense of nostalgia that he can't seem to escape.

one of which is the strong scent of the incense that wafted through the open space, sighing to himself as he dragged the bag that he was holding up to the all-to familiar monument at the end of the depressing place.

meet haitani ran, one of bonten's top executive and is currently known for being one of the notorious men out there to have a strong hatred to the government- more specifically, the police enforcements.

he wouldn't be like this if it weren't for what happend eleven years ago, wouldn't be where he is now if those shitheads did their job right.

yet here he is, standing in front of the marbled monument that he had built for the one and only l/n y/n.

the man changed over the course of the past decade, changed his views in life and changed how he viewed those people who labeled themselves as society's saviors.

what a joke, really.

but when all is said and done, there is one thing that managed to stick to him for eleven years- and that was his sheer adoration towards the girl in front of him.

ran was grateful that he got himself a good paying job that allow him to build a resting place that fits the woman's personality.

and who would've thought that he'd made her monument right under a sakura tree- one that he used to hate and still does to some extent.

in his belief, it felt just right to transfer her under the blossom tree since sakura's were known to fully bloom in the season of spring- the same season that the gods have given her to him and took her away in a flash.

gone just like that.

oh how ironic and idiotic he is to also visit her during the month of april.

it wasn't his fault that he had just finished his preparations for her big surprise, hauling behind him a large bag that contained everything that he had done that for sure would bring a smile on her face.

if she was here atleast.

purple eyes looked down on the photo that's sitting on the bottom of the monument, a picture of the (h/c) haired girl with a smile on her face- dressed in her usual school uniform.

it's good to know that he isn't going to have a 'talk' with some florists any time soon, noticing the fresh bouquets of (f/c) flowers that were perched on a beautiful porcelain vase that he had gotten her.

"hey... sorry for visiting just now n/n."

even after eleven years passed, the pain that gnaws on his heart was still fresh- like it had just happend yesterday.

"the boss was tiring us out- but hey, it's your anniversary right now so don't go sad on me."

as much as he wanted to tear up, he unfortunately had wasted all of them after mourning for her for more than two years.

the man still does, don't get him wrong- but due to his current line of work, it made it almost impossible for him to show normal emotions like pain unlike the past him who's more open to vulnerability.

if this tree didn't hold any specific importance to him then he would've burned it to it's roots a long time ago- grimacing as the blossoms litter around her monument.

though, he's only here for one thing.

haitani ran began emptying out the bag that he has, putting down stuffed animals from different places and lined them down in front of her framed picture- each plushies holding a significant meaning to the two of them.

a dolphin plush from singapore's aquarium, a minnie mouse one that he got at disneyland in paris.

let's not forget a certain frog plush that he once won for her at that fair that they went to as eighteen year olds.

then he began setting up some sort of string that wrapped around the marble stone with little polaroids already clipped on the decorative string.

it was photos of different places that he had been to over the course of a decade.

yes, ever since the accident of '06- haitani ran made it his mission to complete that damned list of hers, the reason why they became close in the first place.

for nineteen year old ran, it was hard to achieve some of these seeing as he needed to travel the globe to do some of the things that she had wanted- like visit the eiffel tower that he had gone to paris for the moment that he had received his first pay.

oh it pained him of course, pained him to the core as to why he was doing this all for a girl that passed away.

no- it was the love of his life that passed away.

maybe this was his way of coping, doing all the things that he knew she would've loved if she was given the chance.

"getting that sea shell from the philippines was a tricky one- but the beach is pretty cool i guess." the dual hair colored man said, crouching down in front of her photo and lightly brushed the dirt off of the glass surface.

he couldn't help but let a fond smile etch itself on his lips, sighing as he sat down fully, not caring if his expensive suit would get soiled by the dirt beneath him- he'll just buy another one.

after a minute of silence, just arranging everything that he had gotten for her- the man took out the worn out notebook that he had kept with him for a decade and still counting.

how did he even manage to get that in the first place?

well, l/n m/n was the one who handed it to him a week after her daughter's burial.

'she'd love for you to have it.'

and since then, he had done everything that he can- from binge watching a reality show to watch a dolphin show at an aquatic park surrounded by children.

"i did it y/n... your little list is now complete."

a chuckle left his lips as he skimmed through the pages of crossed out words, feeling a sense of accomplishment that surged through him.

silence was the only response that he got, the sound of the blossoms dancing along with the wind acted as his white noise as purple eyes landed on a certain number that was yet to get crossed out.

marry the love of your life haitani ran

it's painful goddammit.

but what can he do?

ever since he had seen that number on her list, he stayed truthful to her- wearing a ring on his finger to shoo any women that would approach him whenever he has business with his co-workers at some local bar.

the man would also stray away from drugs, which is pretty ironic since his job was to import and transport drugs to different clients- yet he still makes sure that he doesn't have anything to do with them even if a certain co-worker did it on a daily basis.

he just can't bear with the thought of doing something that he had lost y/n to- a drug bust gone wrong.

a sigh escaped from his lips, the corners of his mouth tugging up on a small grin as he toyed with the silver band on his finger that had her name engraved on the inside.

it's a daily reminder that even if he's doing business either by killing or just trading- she'll always be with him.

"i couldn't complete the last one just yet... so you'll just have to wait a little more, alright?"

as much as he wanted to take his life right then and there- seeing as there was no purpose to him living anymore since he only lived to see that the list is complete, his mission wasn't over just yet.

haitani ran stood up, leaving behind another ring that was intertwined with the string of polaroids that he had strung up all around her monument.

"until the day that i grow old- i'll leave it uncrossed, alright?"

"just wait for me a little bit more my love. i'll marry you the moment i step in heaven even if that means that i'll have to crawl my way up from hell."

haitani ran never really cared for his well-being nor did he care if he were to live to see another day.

living his life at the edge of the cliff that you call death, he doesn't stray away from the place even if he's aware on what waits for him on the abyss below.

that was until he had met her.

it was her who taught him to live your life to the fullest, live like you're going to die the next day and won't wake up to see another sunrise.

and now that he's nearing thirty, he realized that maybe lowering down his dangerous lifestyle isn't that bad at all- now that he's living a life for two.

haitani ran now wakes up to see another day for both him and y/n, living a life that he knew that she would most definitely like.

you may think that it's sad and depressing for the man to keep doing this to himself- and indeed it does hurt, but at the same time he's content with what he has and the time that remains.

because he knows that she'll wait for him in the afterlife.

after all, l/n y/n will always be with him.