I May Be Wrong In The Text - Tumblr Posts

Interests can sometimes subside and this is a strange feeling... It seems to be a common thing, but it's not very pleasant. I don't know how I can support you, but I just hope that you will be fine, and your desire to create will not subside.

vent-ish rant ahead

i feel like i've left everything behind... like i already abandoned the things i used to passionately do because of changes in my life. i feel like i barely finished anything on summer (except for the prologue i guess?)

i've been finding some new stuff to enjoy... i started following yaelokre on like, may or june, and it gave me ideas for themes for my au characters. also started stanning some groups again and listening to new music.

basically i'm satisfying myself in ways i hadn't done before or have forgotten to do for the past years.

my hands were telling me to draw but i couldn't. wanted to bring another set of ocs to life, but can't.

tend to write at least five paragraphs for school 'as a warm up before writing the next paragraphs for my stories,' but then i couldn't continue my story.

i think i might be too busy prioritizing school now.

things hadn't been just like before.

things back then were... youthful. i keep in touch with everyone, i was able to feel like i care about them. then... it's all back to me and myself.

so... yeah.

those... 'passion projects.' while they still rest in my mind—in the back of it—i couldn't find a perfect opportunity amidst the hectic schedules to do them again.

my sources of life, the reasons for my existence. what if i never got to touch them again?

what if i was only fooling myself into thinking that my academic activities and work as a club representative could get me anywhere when it comes to doing something else i love?

i just couldn't afford losing them again. all those efforts, all that brainstorming and stuff... my life. my 'purpose.' the thrill... what if they all dissolve into ashes and waste? i don't want that.

i'd probably die if i let it happen.