I MISS HIM WITH EVERY INCH OF MY BEING - Tumblr Posts

I LOVE HIM SOMUCH HELP THIS WAS PERFECT

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐒 — KEISUKE BAJI ♡

↳ PAIRING: Keisuke Baji x GN! Reader

↳ TYPE: one-shot

↳ WORD COUNT: 4.1k

↳ WARNINGS: heavy swearing, extreme fluff/comfort, a lot of grammar errors

↳ SYNOPSIS: Baji has a secret crush on you, and despite how many times he had tried to hint it at you, it seemed like you were a bit oblivious to his flirtatious acts. However, one night, he decides to go out for a bike ride with you to somewhere special... hopefully to confess how he feels.

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTES: i am a sucker for tokyo revengers boys acting so soft and sweet to you, hehe. i really hope you enjoyed this, along with the song as well. this is one of my favorites, and it makes me feel at peace. i hope you enjoy the fic and the song as well. <3

When he needed you, nothing else mattered in the world.

Rather, you became a part of his life quickly, expanding your walls to him where he was able to inhale the familiar scents of your body—sweet scent of cherry blossoms were enough to indulge Baji in a dazed, lovesick high.

He never argued to the feelings, only found himself to be more needy as the moon settled each night, and he encountered your typical frustrations of him being all bloodied in black and blues. However, Baji became amused by it, nonetheless; wanting a more open desire for his heart to fill in the little bit of void that not even cars being set on fire could ease.

“You’re in love,” Chifuyu called him out on it a week ago. Baji spat at him, nearly dodging the bullet when your presence was right around the corner of the school building. Mikey noted that Baji was head over the moon; touch-starved. Always wanting his arms to protectively wrap around your waist in a greedy standpoint. A gambler winning at every game.

Only, the case was that Baji became infatuated—and the three words he yearned to say would sting his throat. ‘The right time,’ he’d always think.

We’ll do it all

Everything

On our own

The clock ticks past nine at night—luckily, on a Friday, where the streets were more wild than usual. Convenience store lights flickered from afar, Baji watched the cars roar down below. He kept the window open, allowing the breeze to trickle through his skin.

Scent of freshly lit cigarettes weren’t uncommon for him. He pouted, nearly dipping his head down on the pillow before boredom could take over his shoulders. Though Baji knew that he had missed sleep for some time. The night was peaceful; still. Yet it was a prison for some, to be trapped within the dark. A fucking hell, sometimes, even for him, when Baji had been tossing and turning the night before.

Draken lectured him about Baji’s confession to you. A strong friendship you two had, even though he threw subtle flirting here and there, and even accompanied you more often than he’d do with his friends. His mind wandered elsewhere, always pondering about the ‘what if’s and what possibly could happen if such words were said from his mouth.

Baji typically did not worry so much. More so, he’d rather chuck out a “fuck it” from his lips and toothy grin, but with you, he felt different. These feelings were new—emotional, and a whirlwind for him. A hurricane hitting the edge of night such as the moment he was experiencing, with tobacco arousing the air and the honking of cars that were starting to aggravate him.

He watched his phone flicker from the desk and he jolted to it immediately, watching your name pop up in the notifications. ‘You’re up, right? :)’ it read, and God. A fucking lovely dovey bastard, he was. Baji’s grin grew in an instant, where he took the phone in his hands. The dancing wind trails into his bedroom quickly; tongue nearly tasting the tip of tobacco and half-lit cigarettes from the bars down the street. He was lost in fulfillment; the edge of excitement and the start of a lovestruck high.

‘Night drive on my bike?’ He texted, fingers moving rapidly on the screen.

His smile doesn’t fade.

We don’t need

Anything

Or anyone

Baji always recalled that the world spun slowly, but it happened to freeze in a moment in time with your presence around. As if you were the magic touch to his life. He could’ve sworn he was crazy—insane, almost. A young boy who was so immersed with the touch of another that could possibly not share the same feelings back—maybe that was silly. Though Baji never gave two damns, or in this case, a big fuck, for that matter. At least you were alive; breathing. Cherishing smiles with one another.

He waited outside of your house, snickering while you snuck your way out of the bedroom window. Typical of you to commit such crimes under the rules of your parents. A ‘baddie’, he’d call you, only to be earned with a smack on his shoulder as a reward. A playful act from you. Even Baji found amusement in it.

“It’s late, isn’t it?” You said, wrapping a thin blanket around your figure.

Baji smirked, leaning on his bike. ‘Act cool... or just be calm,’ he thought, slowly fading his lips into a bright grin. He shook his head, patting on the empty seat behind him. The wind was steady; sweet moon singing its gentle lullabies across the navy blue.

“I missed you,” he said, cocking his head.

You blinked. “We just saw each other at school today. And you miss me already?”

“How could I not?” He chuckled. “It’s you, of course.”

‘Are you getting the hint?’ he pursed his lips at his mental thought.

“Guess that means our friendship is really something special, huh?” You laughed, throwing your head back.

Sighing, Baji nodded. Typical of you to react that way. Part of him wondered if that was your hint right back at him to portray your loss of interest in him romantically. Perhaps that was the case, and Baji was being a dumb fuck—at least, he’d call himself that sometimes, when he didn’t act so stubborn on his own part. The night was young, again, a prison to his mind; thoughts behind bars, but Baji remained his cool.

Or he tried to.

He forced a smile, patting the empty seat once again. “Hop on. I wanna go for a drive.”

“Where are you going to take me?” You asked, tilting your head.

“It’s a surprise,” he responded.

“Oh, so you’re not gonna tell me?” Laughing in response, you nodded. “You might end up killing me in the forest for all I know.”

Baji furrowed his eyebrows. “As if I’d ever do something stupid like that.”

“You already do pretty dumb things like get yourself in endless fights and—”

“Okay, okay,” Baji interrupted, waving a hand. He snickered aimlessly. “Are you going to stand there and roast me all night?”

You smiled. “It’s no different from how I am at school, right?”

His lips tightened. ‘When you look like that… shit,’ he swore in his head mentally before clearing his throat.

Baji felt your body jump on the bike, causing his breath to hitch. He continuously told himself to calm down, like. Seriously. ‘Calm the fuck down.’ As much as he didn’t want to admit it, your words remained true to his ears—it was no different from how you acted in school. Witty responses and cheeky smiles—the one where your tongue stuck out between your teeth kind of thing—and Baji loved it all about you.

At least, he knew how to keep his feelings hidden; a secret tucked within his chest; hidden scripts beneath the moonlight—the night wind rings once more.

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Around the fresh hit of ten-thirty at night, Baji recognized that the world around him began to suffocate him in an unpleasurable way imaginable. It was an odd type of feeling; a large heaviness encircled him, where he gripped the handles of the bike tighter than before. What really kept him at bay was your laughter soaring through the air—humming street lights shimmering from up above, to be the remaining illumination across the splatters of constellations that began to flicker across the dead of night.

He recalled a short moment not too long ago—from the past week—that Mitsuya talked to him about opening up about his feelings properly, rather than throwing hints everywhere from the tight hugs and the quick reassurance of him popping at your front door. “So fucking clingy, man,” Mitsuya laughed at him for it. Baji held back a punch at his friend’s pretty face; he recently dyed his lavender hair, so Baji wanted to be nice for a bit.

Not that Baji would have ever laid a hand viciously on his closest friends, let alone his truest members in Toman. Let alone you. With your dangerous smile that always caused his heart to rise above shore; barely sinking beneath the sea of his smitten emotions—that was enough for him to act more irritated than usual. He didn’t blame you for being dense; partially, but Baji could’ve sworn it would’ve been better as friends, anyway.

He drove on, recalling that his own world was approaching too close in his own head. Though your arms around his waist tightened, causing time to slow down for a short moment. Baji smiled, kissing the night breeze that was striking his ponytail in waves; strands tickling the back of his neck. You. Just—you. Everything about your presence was enough to recall that nothing else mattered in the world. Just you.

He fought back an exhale, thinking about the nearest exit to take to get to the destination he hoped to reach right in time when the night remained young to both of your childish hearts. There was nothing else in this world to him now, not even the passing by cars that swept past his ears.

Hoping that one getaway could only keep him and you together—even if not meant to be as soulmates bound together with each other’s heartstrings; a growth of friendship was enough for him to find acceptance in at some point.

“Hey, are you sure you know where you’re going?” You called out, gripping on him tighter.

He grinned, nodding once. “Of course I do. I’m trying to kill you tonight.”

“No weapons?” Baji practically pictured you pout in his head. Cute. You let out a playful groan. “And you even said you wouldn’t do such a thing to me, what happened?”

“Shit, well, I change my mind a lot,” he said out loud, huffing out a laugh. “Thought you knew that.”

“Nooo,” your voice trailed out. “Not at all.”

“You’re funny,” he quipped playfully, looking back at you with one glance. “And cute when you hold onto me like this.”

You shake your head, sighing. “Well, if I’m just gonna get murdered by you tonight, then I probably should let go—”

“Don’t even think about it, crazy.”

“Says the mass murderer himself. Planning to kill all of Toman too?”

“Hilarious.”

“I aim to please.”

‘You really do,’ Baji thought.

I don’t quite know

How to say

How I feel

Near the edge of the city lies a large open field with mass hills, perfectly shaped for the view of watching the stars dance with one another. Baji took you there, with a greedy smile and prideful stance in his heart, but he also held back at the same time. Your exhausted face planted against his back during the bike ride got his mind to wander elsewhere. Damn. The emotions you took him on—an exciting adrenaline rush that he had always yearned the spark for yet at some point, Keisuke Baji wasn’t all the man he bestowed to be.

A gang member; violent to his bones. Also, a stubborn asshole who had a bit of a temper problem. Heart soft for kittens despite the bits of his enemy’s blood tattered across his knuckles. At some point, Baji wondered if he had been the right person for you—at least, much to his perspective, despite the look of a confident man, he felt so endearing to you—so soft. An opposite from his usual nature. He liked it but questioned it a bit too much.

He turned into the parking lot, mentally wondering why there weren’t that many people on a Friday night. Then again, he kept himself quiet—and thanked God for giving him a precious moment in time where he can find peace with you. His chance. Baji had given himself an opportunity; his walls were structured, but the gate was wide open—only for you to hear his true words.

“Everything looks so peaceful,” you yawned. He parked the bike, gazing down at the swaying grass in front of him. ‘Fuck, can I do this?’ he thought before whipping his head to face you.

“Sure, s’cause you’re here,” Baji grinned; toothy fangs making him look cheeky. “I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Am not.”

“Sure.”

“Hold my hand,” Baji said, laying his hand on yours. Your widened eyes caused him to startle on his breath for a split second, forgetting what reality was for that frozen moment in time. He smiled gently, eyes twinkling underneath the faint moonlight. “Let’s go stargazing.”

You blinked. “You drove all this way to go look at the stars?”

“Well, m’just a little bit of a romantic kind of guy,” Baji smiled, quickly getting off his bike before he grabbed hold of your waist to have you stand close to him. He wanted to tell you about his feelings, during the creep of the evening—lost words hissing like a vagrant cat. “Come on, don’t wanna leave me waiting, do you?”

Smiling, your forehead rested against his shoulder. Baji’s eyes widened, clearly caught off guard by your actions. “Maybe I do,” you responded. “Even just standing here with you makes me feel safe and happy.”

He closed his eyes, lips still pursed into a smile. “I adore you, Y/N. I really do…”

“Buuut!” Your voice echoed throughout the night. Baji could’ve sworn he heard a melody play across the world—the one that had stopped spinning for him. “Let’s go to the fields. You didn’t just drive all this way for nothing, right?”

You grabbed his hand, dragging him into the fields. Baji wailed out that you should’ve slowed down, but fuck it, seriously. At the given moment he had to witness your beaming grin from the sparkles of the night. All for where you two shouted out loud to each other. Voices echoed. Two exuberant souls jogging across the night.

Experiencing a memory with each other like no other—just this.

You.

Baji ached for his feelings to speak for themselves in such a way.

Those three words

Are said too much

They’re not enough

A mere simple three words shouldn’t have been so frightening yet Baji choked up on it several times. He recalled a memory where Mikey and Mitsuya watched him speak in front of his bedroom mirror; an actor rehearsing. They laughed at him, calling him ‘whipped’ for you already—and they were earned with shoes thrown to their heads but they didn’t seem to mind. (Of course not.)

The perfect words never really crossed Baji’s mind. All that swirled in his head was your presence, where he pictured scenarios of your hand tucked with his. Sharing laughter across the blinks of the morning to the farewell of the sun at its peak of the night.

From the boisterous boy he was, every ounce of him was screaming out the three words—enough to break the close friendship that he had with you—but the sound was trapped inside him. Nightly. Prisoner behind bars—once again.

Baji laid there on the grass with you, not minding the slight tickles on his back, and he turned his head to watch you talk about a childhood story—or something. He mentally cursed at himself for not paying attention, but he wandered on about debating if he should hold your hand one more time. Maybe ask you to sit up and listen to his words; an open speech of a perfectly laid-out confession that he rehearsed on repeat in his head.

‘Why is this so fucking hard?’ he thought, fighting back a scoff.

“Hey, Keisuke,” you called out his name, causing Baji to blink back to the present moment. Shit.

He cleared his throat. “What’s up?”

“Can I ask you something?”

He nodded. “Well, ‘course. What’s in that pretty little head of yours?”

“Sometimes, I like the idea of us hanging out like this.”

Baji smirked, raising a brow. “We hang out all the time, love. S’no different from any other time.”

“Well, yeah, but—” you blinked, whipping your head in his direction. “Did you just call me ‘love’?”

He gulped. Fucking hell. “No.”

“You did, didn’t you?”

“I obviously didn’t.”

You chuckled out loud. “I definitely heard you say that.”

“Shut it, Y/N, or else I will hit you.”

“Go ahead. Hit me.”

Baji groaned, placing a palm over his face. Only in hopes of hiding the faint pink tingling his cheeks. “M’kay, yeah. I did. Sorry. Don’t wanna make this shit more awkward than it needs to be.”

“You’re cute, Kei,” you laughed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “For someone like you, you seem to really have a huge soft spot sometimes.”

Baji pursed his lips. “Did you really have to call me out like that?”

Nodding, you grinned.

“Of course.”

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

“Say it.”

He watched you smile close to him, head dipped back into the grass. Baji thought about keeping you close to him—but he fought against the idea of pulling you into his chest. Even then, with you two underneath the belt of Orion and the moon singing to his heart, he felt himself shift in position. You always portrayed a soft month of welcomes, a reminder of orange and red leaves at the start of autumn from the season’s changing hues.

Calm. A fresh breeze of sweet serendipity. Baji adored it, wanted it, needed it—all of you. For it was a breath of air from all of the vexation and conflict he arose being in a gang. At least, like he always said to himself, when the world would stop for a moment in time with you, he’d forget all about it, because you’ve always been beautiful.

He’s on a hook for a long time. Being reeled into your touch. Waiting impatiently for the moment where he could find the right time to speak out the truest words to his heart.

You hummed, keeping your eyes closed. “I wanted to ask you something.”

Baji blinked, sighing. “Right, I got that. So say it, or are you gonna hide more secrets from me?”

“I’m not hiding anything from you.”

“M’kay, so spill.”

You exhaled deeply, shaking your head against the grass. “Do you ever think about a moment in time that feels so unreal that your mind just freezes for a few seconds?”

‘Fucking mind reader, maybe?’ Baji chuckled to his mental thought before clearing his throat. He looks up at the dark sky; stardust twinkling across his irises. Heart heavy in unspoken feelings. “Yeah, ‘course,” he responded. “All the time… especially with you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Oh.” You said, smiling. Looking down, you reached for his hand, and his fingers twitched for a moment. Eventually, Baji allowed the moment to occur; letting it fall into a subspace of nothing but both of your souls gazing into the constellation of each other’s eyes. His heart bursted—overwhelmed with the build-up confidence for the intangible moment. “One more question.”

He grinned, gripping onto your hand harder. “Do tell.”

“If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Forget what we’re told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Without an answer in response, Baji sat up, pulling you close to him. Your nose lingered the scent of his cheap cologne; a type of perfume he used to ‘look cool’, or so you thought. Moon brightened up to its core of sweet Orions that danced above the two quiet souls beneath the navy’s horizon. Baji sighed deeply, taking in the moment before keeping you closer to his chest. Heaven. His mother consistently talked about the happy moments of an afterlife. Though he knew how paradise was once you inched your fingers across his waist, slowly wrapping into a tighter hug.

“You and me, ‘kay?” Baji whispered, close to your ears. “Let’s waste time chasing cars around our heads,” he chuckled, fiddling back to the memories of the late drives he took you on—only to have the excuse of keeping your body close to his. Unforgotten Polaroids dashed across his mind; cherishable momentos of the perfect existence in life that he always redeemed to call home. You.

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

“I have something to tell you.”

You gulped at his bold statement. “Sure. Talk to me.”

“I—” Baji shot his heart for a moment, quickly stopping before turning away. He sighed, dipping his head down to your shoulders, causing you to gasp in confusion.

“Hey, uh—”

“Don’t talk,” his head shook in frustration.

If I lay here

“You’re scaring me.”

“M’sorry,” Baji exhaled, hugging you tighter. “Just don’t wanna fuck this up.”

You pat his head, gently caressing the tousled strands of his hair. His posture softens at your touch before your nose paints the skin of his slightly exposed neck. Baji nearly choked on his breath, only to tighten his grasp on you. Almost as if one trip and you’d fall—not on his watch. Not ever. Like hell.

“I’m here, okay?” You said.

“I can’t fuck this up, seriously.”

“I’m going to stay.”

“Will you—please?”

If I just lay here

You nodded, pulling away from the hug. “I will always stay for you, Baji.”

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Baji blinked in disbelief before chuckling underneath his breath inaudibly. Furrowing your eyebrows at him, he covered his mouth, attempting to hide the tint of pink twirling around his skin. His cheeks flushed into a dusty rose. Embarrassment flickered across his irises.

He knew the right words—what to say. The others always taunted him. A mere simple three words that he rehearsed in his head were now a vinyl on repeat; his heart struck with Cupid’s arrow. Baji admitted to himself mentally, with your presence in front of him, to be the gateway to what heaven was really like—at least, you were everything. Only for him. And a chance to have you—forever.

Forget what we’re told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that’s bursting into life

Without hesitation, without another thought, without another sigh.

Baji leaned in, throwing his palms around your cheeks—ignoring the heat rising to his fingers once his lips were pressed on yours. His legs shook, where you nearly fell back onto the grass but your hands kept yourself steady on the ground. Arms shaking; body falling into a blink of a release, he smiled along with the kiss, not thinking once that you weren’t kissing him back for a second—only before your hands toyed with his hair cautiously; he grinned at that, feeling complete.

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they’re all I can see

“I’m in love with you.”

He shakily said, breaths fanning across your lips. Baji gritted his teeth; toothy fangs prominent from his nervousness. Watching his movement shuffle in an awkward manner was rather new, but instead of being unpleasant, you giggle closer to his lips. Soft, sweet, tender, proud—all at once, Baji felt calm emotions after the emotions had bursted from his erratic heart. A blessing, almost. Similar to love poems that he’d attempt to write or the lovestruck songs on repeat in his mind.

“Finally,” you exhaled. “About time you said it.”

I don’t know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

“I love you,” Baji said out loud, keeping his palms on your cheeks. Eyes widening at your grin, he laughs pridefully. “I love you, I’m in love with you—shit, I love you!” He yells it out loud, hoping that the moon would hear his confession; wide and clear, voice dancing throughout the bits of grass tickling his ankles.

If I lay here

“Please,” Baji sighed, dipping his forehead against yours. He brushed his lips against the tip of your nose, causing you to stop breathing for a second. “Hear me out again.”

You smiled. “Always, Keisuke.”

If I just lay here

“So you’ve always known?”

“It was pretty obvious.”

He snapped at himself for acting so foolish all this time, but Baji only threw it off to the side as a mere joke. Baji didn’t think much about anything else tumbling through his mind. Three words. Even much more than that—was it enough? Especially for your sake. With the stars dancing in your eyes at that moment, perhaps it was enough to fulfill Baji’s heart even with the soaring burst of silver constellations.

“Okay,” Baji grinned, rubbing his nose against yours, causing you to laugh. “One more question.”

“I’m all ears.”

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

“Be mine?”

tags: @spoofybun @sonder-paradise @duckiichan @nullified-kiss @ravenina14 @3-am-depression @manjirose